#1 Detective: EVERYONE Misses These 7 Signs of a Con-man, Psychopath & Sociopath | Paul Holes

[@LisaBilyeu]

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[@Allproceedingwithcaution]

I dont know you guys from yesterday but i want the whole world to know i left a job i had in PT because they lack any empathy they abuse gaslight and even use physical abuse to control their employess

[@Nerdyone50]

@@AllproceedingwithcautionIn physical therapy? Just wondering because I witnessed a pt manager becoming erratic in the workplace over nothing but a little chalk someone left behind after their session. Ohio.

[@cindysartstudio]

​@@Allproceedingwithcautionoil 🛢️ ûooikiiijkjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjikkk(kkk😅lll(((k+😮h-

[@nancyferguson6011]

The pull from braiding your hair can contribute to losing your hair on that side

[@pitasag123]

Thank you for sharing this; very informative ✌️💜🌟☯️💪🔮👊👿🙏 39:47

[@pillaroflight4363]

I was married to one ! He too was a police officer. It took me nearly 3 decades to escape, lack of empathy, coercion and control and very predatory; using his occupation to commit crimes and hide in plain sight. I am almost 5 years out and still healing.

[@belindaschafer1593]

I know one who is a psychologist at a prison. Those poor inmates. He thrives on portraying to be normal and he is in charge of people. He was married to another psychologist, who divorced him after a year. Red flag..enough said.

[@izzyfury8126]

​@@belindaschafer1593mine was a plumber heating engineer who had clearance to work in police stations and he has fooled almost everyone including solicitors and church elders and even got advise from police to get a court form to force divorce papers then he went away and married my presumption best mans wife. He has turned up after 14 years gathering the pack of wolves around him scheming under the camoflage of repentant christian!!!! He is a pathological liar, thief, abuser ticking all categories in Freedom Programme book issued by Womens Aid. I am curious how wife number 3 got on and what his next game playing will be. I am staying well out of the way of all the unsuspecting loyal "friends" flying monkey puppets.

[@pillaroflight4363]

⁠​⁠@@belindaschafer1593Yes, I and my family were groomed by him to give him the appearance of appearing ‘normal’ , his mask rarely drops, while some may think there’s something off most think he’s a ‘nice guy’. I think also that it’s easier to hide within certain organisations or occupations, he was among many who were just like him! The wife was lucky to escape earlier in their relationship.

[@PaulaSmith-c3r]

​@@pillaroflight4363 There are bloody millions of them. Well done for escaping. I know how hard that is especially when you have been groomed ❤

[@KaylakayXx]

Same here, mine was a Parole Officer and my home felt like an emotional prison

[@Sweetpea-2023]

The passive aggressive “nice guy” manipulators and predators are the most dangerous, because they’re not easy to spot right away. Stay safe out there.

[@Portia620]

I’m suspicious of nice guys!!!

[@ElizzzaB]

This guy was like the BTK killer. Had some authority in the neighborhood.

[@TheBeliever1204]

About power dominance and control sezualized violence Predator fantasy driven and secially motivated. satisfy himself desires

[@Nerdyone50]

I have noticed mirroring efforts, where a person trying to draw you in will pretend to like everything you like, pretending to be just like you.

[@tc_is_me]

Yes. That is why it is wise not to tell them too much in the beginning and do more listening.

[@stoneneils]

Not always. Sometimes all they need is the sex. My psychopathic ex-gf was secondary thus didn't give a sh*t about how I felt OR trying to fool me. She had long ago figured out men aren't that complicated.

[@laneneal3510]

My narc admitted he would like everything I did in the beginning just to get me. Amazing

[@annie_charcheologist]

The future faking to really suck you in at the start… Then apparently they never wanted any of those things. Bait and switch.

[@lesleyofferhall8133]

​@@tc_is_me yes, If they push too much ..that's a red flag!

[@SuperSoFlow]

I was raised by a father who drilled into me how NOT to be a victim and that means watch out for people in positions of authority first and foremost! ALL fathers need to teach their daughters to protect their personal power. Not making yourself vulnerable with alcohol and substances is prevention. Discernment, situational awareness, observation skills, and paying attention to your gut feelings are invaluable life skills to consistently hone...always.

[@imabeardsley9280]

💯

[@Robertaerdmane]

+++++ !!!!

[@Robertaerdmane]

Vadošos amatos maigi jūtīgi cilvēki ir reti . Man liekas ka Narcisi tur ir daudz

[@melindacallaghan5367]

More women need to be taught this! So many women are desperate to be in a relationship and ignore red flags!

[@Phoenixkb222]

Beautifully said and absolutely correct!

[@AnnaMishel]

Lisa, you’re doing a great service for many women by exposing the psychopaths.

[@christineewing3492]

Such bullshit dear. There is plenty of stuff on KZbin that well predates this stupid video.

[@tc_is_me]

I was thinking the same thing.

[@ThatGirlKInArtetashetrusts]

Urgh women can be psychopaths too ffs

[@marymorningstar6832]

True but statistically it’s mostly men

[@ElizzzaB]

​@@ThatGirlKInArtetashetrustsmore males statistically.

[@takeysha4]

Rather be single than with the wrong one 😢

[@simplypositiveme]

Same. I don't trust men at all.

[@kaylandry3142]

This.

[@Dudenamedbrian]

It’s actually quite easy to see a narcissist online,almost all social media gurus are narcissists trying to disguise themselves,pretty much anyone going out of there way to pretend to be a really good person is most likely a narcissist,most really good people show they are a good person in real life not on social media for attention

[@JanieceRiley]

Exactly

[@laneneal3510]

Like they say…women will choose the Bear instead of the man

[@Nerdyone50]

Not all narcissists are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are narcissists.

[@joltjolt5060]

You have it backwards. All narcissists ARE psychopaths, because they only care about themselves. Psychopaths care about their victims, even "love" them.

[@Mirna4588oihtzjoöölhgh]

No

[@TeresaBlack-c5v]

I THINK THE SHOES FITS BOTH FEET.

[@j.w8680]

@Nerdyone50 You're right.

[@RC-eb5hq]

​@@Mirna4588oihtzjoöölhghelaborate?

[@greisyfernandez7353]

I was married to one for 12 years and on the verge of death twice. I survived. My children's life also at risk while alone with their own dad. They are demons disguised as sheep!

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

I was married 41 years and only figured out in the last 6 years that he was a psychopath. He’s a calm composed “nice guy”with the best acting skills. He let himself go in middle age and then resented anybody younger, female or good looking

[@lindabelmonte1]

I love the way you interview people on your show! Not only do you ask good questions, but you give your guests plenty of time to talk and explain!

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

They can fake empathy quite well.

[@leandrawomack9029]

100%!

[@Confessions089]

Yup.

[@mariapilarme]

Not really. Once you know how a narcissist acts you can spot them easily. Usually are over acting, excessive emotions that become awkward.

[@staciacrick3373]

That’s cognitive empathy

[@Vixinaful]

@@mariapilarme Hmm you have a point here. His emotions were extreme. Either extremely irritated to the point I got very afraid and didnt dare to even move or he would weep over himself pretending to have such a hard life and ohohooo how bad it was (it wasnt at all). It really was super exaggerated. You're right.

[@karifoto]

Excellent interview! There aren’t enough videos on psychopathy. Tons of info on narcissism, which is very important too, but not enough on these incredibly dangerous individuals. When you’re unfortunate enough to meet one or end up in their crosshairs, you know you’re dealing with a true monster. It’s so dangerous & not enough people understand just how terrible they are

[@mariapilarme]

@@karifoto there’s one on you tube that will scared you. Channel 4 psychopaths night .

[@laneneal3510]

Jeeze…narcs are bad enough, but psychopaths?

[@littleiodine9480]

Be careful of anyone choosing an occupation with power and control over others. They feed on that. That is most things. Police, nurse, Dr, little league coach, religious leaders, etc. Can be your neighbor or Aunt. Yes many are female now as well. Ted Bundy was a College student as well as working along side Anne Rule for 5 yrs on a hotline helping abused Women. Keep educating self and give 2-3 yrs watching close for red flags including ALWAYS trust your FEELINGS!!! NO excuse making for them. Believe YOU!!! ❤

[@lesleyofferhall8133]

Excellent advice ...Always trust your gut even if it seems odd.

[@doreenplischke2169]

Best advice given here.

[@marywhite3970]

@@littleiodine9480 And Doctors can put anything they want in your file and with the rational of "cross treatment use of drugs"...write you Rxs for psychotic meds and you look like a mental case. It's a fine line with possible devastating effects in the way of reflecting who you are as to your mental and emotional stability. Medical records are shared and can either shed light on you as a person or totally misconstrue it.

[@scarletcesin]

Exactly all this professionals you said

[@Nzia-zq2dm]

Plus university professors! Some are powerful and are acting like they are very concerned. The worst is that they are , actually, real predator who are pretending to defend the cause of abuse victims!!!! There are real fake good people among us

[@toniweston4330]

I am so glad I grew up in Europe where we had guest houses to go to. We never brought people home . We were taught to gather and entertain in a public house. That way you share other people's opinions openly!

[@itchysheets1222]

Wow that sounds delightful and care free! In America you don’t really have that at all….we don’t have “third places” to hang out anymore.

[@danilaroche1156]

My ex husband strangled me on our honeymoon. No joke. I immediately went into denial. My dad used to try & suffocate my mom. She put up with that for decades. I hung in 15 years & finally realized he'd kill me. He was violent the entire marriage. God woke me up!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad threatened Mom's life on a weekly basis. She divorced his sorry ass in 1974; best decision ever. Life improved without his horrible influence!

[@TheOGKrissa]

Turns out, your teenager’s boyfriend or girlfriend can be one. It happened to us: we welcomed a viper into our household for 3 years. Then one day, this person checked our teenager into a hotel and the very worst nearly happened. The signs were there all along. The first day I met this person, they said something that literally made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. But our teen was socially awkward, had skipped a grade, was neurodivergent - we wanted to support their “normal” development. And this kid was really, really good. God at flattering, using puppy dog eyes, dividing and conquering. Pay attention to the quality of your teens’ relationships. Are they the better for the relationship? Or are they missing school, giving up on goals, losing interest in things? Talk. Ask open-ended questions. Don’t think yours is the one who isn’t vulnerable. Predators in training often choose challenging targets to sharpen their skills.

[@minicc26]

Yup all these adult psychopaths start somewhere they don't suddenly turn 18 and become a psycho, the signs start young and get worse as teens once adults it's near set in stone at that point. In other words don't like age let your gaurd down. These kids and teens can do alot of damage to your kids and to people in general Sad but true

[@pinkkittyize]

What a very sad story, however, amazing advice for all parents.I hope your family are safe, and happy now. Thank you for sharing 😊

[@Portia620]

Yes, they love us challenging them!!

[@SototG]

What did he say that creeped you out when you first met him? Thanks

[@pilarq7886]

What did Viper say for neck hair to stand up? Your answer matters please

[@djmw6077]

Great, now I will never be able to trust anyone ever again. The last narcissist pushed me over the edge.

[@claucemicro1080]

Maybe it’s time to start watching videos about healthy relationships. 😅

[@GG-jj3hw]

You will, when you regain trust in yourself and in your judgement.

[@mimibatman2787]

You are not wrong! Better to mistrust someone who is trustworthy than to trust someone who isn't. Trust should be earned, not given out for free.

[@danilaroche1156]

That's precisely what the devil wants. To make you bitter and shut down. Ask God to heal your soul & give you wisdom & a discerning eye.

[@TimesUp8888]

​@danilaroche1156 I did this >4 yrs ago and what God showed me is Trust No One. We live in thr Devils Playground and no one can convince me otherwise. ❤

[@CurlyToedShoes]

It's actually kind of validating that even law enforcement professionals weren't initially able to identify the golden state killer. It makes sense that the rest of us, as average untrained people, are at risk of getting ensnared by predators hiding in plain sight. Thank you, Lisa, for empowering us with this important info! ❤

[@Confessions089]

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[@saturdayschild8535]

I dunno. I tend to think law enforcement attracts them. They get power and no accountability.

[@IrmaRoma68]

Well I lived in a rural area in a barn that the owners renovated illegally. I was in there from 2020-2024. My landlord a woman who owned real estate all over decided I should have a shower in 2023 prior I did not have a bathroom I had a toilet and washer and dryer. The next door neighbour 63 a contractor is hired now I think he volunteered to have access to me and gets the door codes. It took him over 4 weeks and he was sexually harassing me and very scary what he did and he was married. It got so bad I left my house for a week to get away. I tell my landlord what happened and she re-hired him this summer to do work in the main house and she promised me she wouldn’t so I called the police. I had two officers gaslight me and verbally abuse me so I had to move for my safety. So it’s insane that a woman put me in harms way and that nothing was done to stop it but I hired a PI who told me he had a criminal record with assault. Even if he had no record they have a great mask that fools everyone

[@SatumainenOlento]

And it is *very traumatic* when those people who should protect you are turning against you! And start gaslighting! Glad that you left! Even that it was hard decision, but in the end, he would been danger for you even if your landlord and police would have helped you! That predator was tarketing you already. You are safe now!

[@MrsTruthTeller]

You have to be careful of women too. Many of them support and encourage abusers.

[@casperinsight3524]

Ted Bundy was loving and kind to his live in girlfriend or commonlaw wife, they even raised a young daughter 👀 She had no idea until she saw items in his car that matched the television broadcast. She was in disbelief and struggled with cognitive dissonance for a long time befire turning him in.

[@silvio.r8443]

Btk was domestically violent at home, his daughter talks about this. Domestic violence is under-reported.

[@itchysheets1222]

I think the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft should be required reading in schools so that girls AND boys will recognize right off the rip that behavior isn’t normal or acceptable from anyone.

[@ivandejour9806]

Narcissism is the new pandemic

[@rowannestripe2964]

So many of them!!!

[@littleiodine9480]

Many women hurting our Sons!!!

[@rowannestripe2964]

@@littleiodine9480 many sons hurting daughters!

[@TeresaBlack-c5v]

No it's been here since the beginning.

[@j.w8680]

​@@littleiodine9480More men are narcissists & psychopaths.

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

I had a predator follow me all over my town hoping to get rid of him … always be aware what’s behind you .. never go home .. I went to the firehouse and he finally left .

[@Vixinaful]

That happened to me too, was chased on my bike across town so had to hide in a stair case for an hour while he circulated outside like a shark in his car. Finally I went out anyway and found some night workers of the city who emptied trash and such and they drove me and my boke home. They said I was the fourth woman like this they had encountered now. And I looked up his license plates and he was a father of two and lived with a woman! He was out looking for preys, balancing his otherwise normal front with.

[@carolinejohnson22]

Scary...

[@Deborah-fw9po]

​@@VixinafulDid you report him?

[@Vixinaful]

@@Deborah-fw9po Yes and the police did nothing as usual. Women doesnt matter in europe nor scandinavia. I met him again after that and he's doing the same thing as then. I never leave home anymore without self protection spray and have taken self defence classes.

[@alipainting]

Instead of going home I went to my boyfriend's after being followed on the subway and through the streets.

[@V-AmpD]

My ex-husband was also a police officer, absolute nightmare, and torture in the marriage. Now he’s onto his next victim wife number four.

[@sjgee4309]

item 17 on the Hare psychopathy checklist 🤔

[@Teapot88]

Was married to a man who down low.He was always smiling and laughing ,even when the situation does not require smiling.Behind closed doors extremely manipulative ,would lie about everything small to big.He had no empathy .Even when you are crying your hearts out,they had no idea how to respond.Instead,they would ask you to be quiet in public so that no outsider can see the situation.

[@ElizzzaB]

No empathy......red flag.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad, when I mistakenly called him in August, when his brother Walter(my godfather) died, Dad turned the conversation into a monologue about his loss and pain as if I don't exist. I felt invisible and hollow. I haven't spoken with Dad since!

[@jaykay3839]

I'm married to someone very similar. I need to work on getting out but I'm also scared for my younger kids. Some with special needs. No one will believe his true colors. He's constantly joking, smiling and acting the fool. He's very energetic, does household chores, etc. Harmless, right? But a few weeks ago, he was unhappy that I'd let my waffle maker sit too long before cleaning dripped batter off it. I was going to clean it soon, I just hadn't had a chance to yet. I was running late and needed to get our daughter to an appointment but I'd forgotten my water bottle so I hurried into the kitchen only to find he had my waffle maker soaking in a large container of water, completely immersed. I was startled, upset, asking why he did that. He insisted it was fine, acted annoyed. I was very late so I just left. When I came back, the waffle maker was sitting on the counter where he left it for me to use. Heck no. He tries to gaslight me all the time so there was the knowledge that more than likely he was going to act as if I was crazy for doubting him. I flipped the waffle maker over and just as I thought, it said right on the bottom Not to immerse it in water. I took a picture and threw the waffle maker away. That night I showed him the picture and told him it wasn't okay. He looked slightly annoyed and mumbled that he knew because he'd looked it up. *He had to look it up?* No, this guy designs buildings for a living, he's built his own house before. He's not ignorant of electricity and that it doesn't mix with water. And yet instead of throwing the waffle maker away or even just warning me it wasn't safe to use anymore, he left it there on the counter and didn't say a word of warning. I'm usually the one who uses it but what if one of our kids decided to make waffles that day? I need to leave but due to health and financial issues, I'm just not prepared for that. I need to put a rush on this.

[@1dayfree]

​@@jaykay3839Please leave immediately as he now knows that you are onto him. Your children need their mother more than anything. Put your and your children's safety above finances. You know how dangerous this is. There must be places to go like a safe house and then get someone else to get your stuff please.

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

​@@jaykay3839 Leave in silence. Do not tell him. Wait until he is at work. Ask someone to help you to get the stuff you take ( only the essencials ) and you all leave. It is very hard. I did many leaves in my.life, also with a son. Even leaving 2x a country in 1 day. Boem...i was gone. No man saw this comming. I made shure a man would not see it comming. Better safe...

[@JenClaus2.0]

As A 56 Year Old I Left 3 Psychopaths at different times in my life I Enjoy being Single Today.

[@Nerdyone50]

It seems to be a pattern stemming from childhood trauma that makes psychopaths and narcissists be drawn to you. Unfortunately, I have gone through similar.

[@Vixinaful]

47 here, left my last a month ago. Never again, single is the best. Even the bible says so. In genesis it says "being alone is the better option but it is better to get married than be uplit with desire"

[@JenClaus2.0]

@Nerdyone50 You are right! I always believed I had a Post it Note On my forehead that Said " Please Abuse Me".... 😒

[@jenerin905]

Psychopaths and people with NPD are drawn to empathetic people that can be guilted and manipulated. Don't feel bad, we were trained to be that way. The best way to become unappealing to those people is to have boundaries and hold them firm. When you say no, you mean no. When they push, get away. Psychopaths and Narcissists test your boundaries in the beginning. If you don't relent, they will move on.

[@JanieceRiley]

Oh wow I'm 57 & I went through 3 phycos .myself .isn't that terrible? I'm single myself also .I'm soo much happier now .glade your safe & happy now

[@lindalarson5468]

Can we have Paul back again, to continue this conversation? I learned so much.

[@Shirley-t9b]

This was what i married a phycopath malignant evil monster violent isolated me robbed abused took my frends family away the worst monster no empathy sadistic

[@Fanlady4236]

I married one. Took me three decades to get away to safety. Then my sister left her abuser and then my daughter left her abuser. I broke both sides of my families of women marrying abusive men. We are all happy now except the ex who has painted himself into another corner lol

[@thescreencommunity5933]

yep I married one too. Didn't understand what was happening for years and then his behaviour got very weird, it took me years to believe he was a narcissist, then when I asked for a divorce all hell broke loose. The car engine blew up, my laptops got broken 3 times, he stole my clothes, bank cards, keys. He hogged the fridge, stopped my cooking for my children, the washing machine was always broken except when he used it, he controlled the internet. He then tried to turn my kids against me, told lies to my parents, hardly any old friends now talk to me. He turned lawyers, estate agents, judges against me. These people are very convincing, even when FACTS show they are the dodgy ones. I have learnt people don't look at FACTS, humans are very easily convinced by these monsters. The divorce has taken 5 years and cost over £100k, but has cost me so much more. And you know what right back at the beginning he was incredibly persuasive, persistent and definitely love bombed. All my friends said he loves you so much, but my gut did tell me something all the way back then. I really should have followed my gut.

[@mimibatman2787]

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I hope you are in a better place now?

[@Shirley-t9b]

@@Fanlady4236 glad your free

[@Vixinaful]

You're describing a guy I used to see to a T. He started off ordering me around the first time we met, very dominating (but goodlooking so I let it slide plus he was younger than me with a good job so I thought he was a catch) but then cuddled me up all night, week after week with no sex so I thought be must really like me. He would tell me his mother was a narcissist who called him a "mentally ill junkie" and that he had to get away from her and since he lived with her temporarily he was looking for an apartment. Well, he got one RIGHT ACROSS MINE! I told him that the adress he described was right by me and he waved me off like "Pfft, no it isnt!" I talked to a friend who immediately said "Stalker!" I thought "Noooo..nono, this is a good guy, he has nothing on him" Well low and behold when he had seen the place and came by "You were right! It really was right across from you!" Like he thought I was dumb enough to believe he hadnt seen the adress beforehand and took that apartment specifically to live right across me. Well that as the beginning. He moved in, bought all new furniture he had saved up to get: 15.000 dollars which he showed me and I thoguth "Great, maybe this could be a beginning of something.." Thats when it started. Little insults here and there. The first one I replied to with sarcasm to make him see how ridiculess he spoke, and then it got worse..until it got REALLY bad where he would now take my hands, look into my eyes, part my face in five categories and tell me in detaíl why they were ugly and HOW ugly they were. I didnt flinch, just replied with a smile "Okay" Bc I listened to a dating coach for women who told us to never react when something like that happened. (because they use your reaction against you and call you crazy, some even record it) She was right, so he never got any reaction out of me no matter how mean he got. The stress of him got so bad I became sick in an autoimmune episode and developed heart failiure, lost 60% of my hair and 8kg in weight. I looked like a dead skeleton. I nearly passed away and it took me 1,5 years to recover physically. Mentally it took 3 years. I havent opened the door for him the past 3 years yet he still comes by, last time with a letter saying he was never sober while here and what he did was unforgivable bla bla yet the whole letter says "How long will you punish me? It's been 3 years!" He does NOT nor will ever understand what he caused me and he will never feel bad about it either. He does not understand it's over but thinks I'm punishing him. His ex who was my age aswell, left the city and started over somewhere else, I'm 100% it was to get away from him. He stalked her for 7 years and probably still is. The level of mean he got..Was unhuman and he started hearing voices aswell and smelling things that werent there on his way home from work, he told me. That is audiotory hallucinations and phantosmia so my guess is that he was in the prodormal (beginning) phase of schizophrenia and that he suffered from covert narcissism on top of that. He got physically violent near the end and the last time we met he raped me. He who never wanted sex and rejected me 9 times out of ten until my drive died, couldnt take a no but got violent. His ego could NOT handle the rejection yet he felt free to reject to inflict pain and shame within me. I'm seeing a third psychologist now and they all agree on it being introverted psychopathy, not covert narcissism. And I must say he does tick the boxes for psychopathy because he enjoyed hurting me. He would smirk after having said something extremely mean and after the face insults his eyes widened and he looked like a child on christmas eve as if he was thinking "Now..NOW I'll get a reaction!" I asked him why he did this and he said "To get a reaction!" And that is narcissism but then narcissism is the root of psychopathy so.. I actually took it up with him and he thought he suffered from psychopathy aswell. He said he had seen documentaries about it and he recognized it and thought he was one. I dont know if he just said that to sound "cool" or if he really understood something was off with him but they usually seem to know what they have. I havent yet met an unaware psychopath so far. I talked to his mother aswell who said "We know something is wrong with him but not what" His whole family (his mother wanted me to call them so they could hear it too since they didnt believe her) was very kind and soft towards me and noone doubted my words, they all knew. They seemed really really sweet and warm, actually. I was surprised. I pressed charges and went to the police with every evidence I had (he watched child p*rn aswell so..) but they closed the case so I couldnt do anymore after that. Now I'm taking martial arts classes so I can defend myself should I see him outside. He will NEVER stop. And the worst part is that right after him I met a guy who told me straight up front he had antisocial personality disorder and that I should know that but I was so traumatized that it didnt register plus he had pretended to be empathic so I thought he just said that to seem "cool" Well he didnt and when asked how he found me he said that in the forum we met, they were talking about my relationship to the other guy and how horrible that was and he had thought "She's weak, she'll be a perfect victim" so he looked me up and started manipulating me and cost me three more years. I am now out of that contact since a month, luckily it was only online but he knows where I live and I am living under death threats from him and since he is within the military with the access of weapons..You never know. (I've talked to the countries military department many times and they know but do not act against him so he still works there despite his diagnosis, I dont know why) The city family violence unit wants me to move but I cant due to the rents being too high and they cant give me another place until he has done something so he must commit a crime agaisnt me before they move me. Death threats isnt enough. I am attending therapy every week and have read up on everything I could possibly find on cluster B personality dfisorder down to it being due to brain damages. (Prefrontal cortrex, amygdala, hippocampus, insula and the right temporal lobe arent working as they should which can be seen on MRIs and PET scans) So I know them like the back of my hand now. Healing is absolutely possible and I believe I have and am, will I rid the CPTSD? Doubtful and will the world ever be a safe place? No, not until we know how to cure them. I will always live in a little bit of fear but at least no more depression which is HUGE. If you've read this far, my advice to survivors is to start martial arts, defence classes, start weight lifting, get strong and learn how to protect yourself. It's your only chance. And live healthily; Eat healthy, train and be prepared for evil. It's your ONLY chance.

[@plsfoff]

This happened to me as well...literally everything you mentioned...it's like it's the same person, but they also sent their friends to date me and perpetuate this abuse and use something called neurolinguistic programming to let me know in ways that I wouldn't even have evidence for and they got smarter about the way they do everything hiding behind other people, even law enforcement, as they frequented the same bars and became the vice president for a whiskey club that included national connections, not just local connections with judges, attorneys, police officers, etc. It's truly terrifying how they operate and there isn't anything law enforcement can really do because of the laws and even so ... They can just hire an attorney that knows all of the judges, etc and basically pay their way out of it if they have the money. It's scary. When it was at its peak I also looked into getting a weapon and training and taking some krav maga classes, but I don't even think that will help me tbh and I feel like someone knows the people in my area who hold those classes or gun lessons. I really am looking into how to move my life elsewhere and have anonymity when doing so. They had their friends move next to my old apartment and when I left there and went somewhere else they were having multiple cars drive by my apartment and sit there until I closed the blinds...just watching me. They hired a PI to also tap my phone, car, and my old apartment. It's insane. They will push you to react in ways that they can use against you. The best way is to withdraw and keep pressing charges and never fall for them saying they're sorry or that they have changed.

[@Sharrpei3]

How did you report the child p@rn to authorities? Your story is very similar to mine😢 I hope you continue healing. Not sure I ever will.

[@Vixinaful]

@@Sharrpei3 I told the police during my police report. They never did anything about it so as far as I know, he still wacthes, downloads it and fantasizes about little girls and the worst part is his sister has a girl who is the age he fantatizes about now. He hates his sister so my suspicion is that he keeps in touch with her to be able to "babysit". But I told the police so theres nothing more I can do. Thought about anonymously warning his sister but that felt too stalky.

[@Sharrpei3]

@@Vixinaful Police do nothing this I have learned! Anonymous FBI cybercrime is what I’m thinking. Thank you for responding.

[@Vixinaful]

@@Sharrpei3 Oooo..what an advice! 😯 I had no idea those even existed but should since Im into conspiracy theories. This is GOLD! Do they go outside the states though or do they only handle hackers within the US?

[@thepowerofyourtrueself4794]

Thank you Lisa for these invaluable guests, teaching us to discern between the dark side of human nature and genuine, authentic connections with other people ❤

[@imaginthat1044]

They say things like 'I have empathy's but means I love to gossip so I get personal info so I can destroy you

[@imabeardsley9280]

💯✅‼️

[@vikkara2043]

The Golden State Killer lived 15-20 minutes from me!!!!! It was crazy when he was finally arrested!!! I have so much empathy for his daughter! I couldn’t even imagine. 😞

[@namastenurse]

What I can tell you is this. There is a disassociation that occurs… there was for me. It’s surreal. You have no basis for this behavior in your reality. Is this actually even happening? How do I process? The freezing response is so real. The shame is so real.

[@susanarsoniadou]

They may smile but you sense and see the coldness in their eyes

[@bookbeing]

I wish there was a keyfob sized scanner that could signal when we come into contact with a predator! Our penal system falls short when convicted obviously violent offenders are released early.

[@Confessions089]

Me too.

[@cyberspelunker1980]

You do. Your instincts.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

Your instincts work just fine, you just somehow convinced yourself to ignore it. You need to unlearn this.

[@Robertaerdmane]

Viņus aizsargā un atbrīvo tādi paši noziedzinieki !

[@lyrapsi]

My ex didn't care to inflict fear. He would use it rarely as a tool to keep me in line, but generally he didn't seem to derive much pleasure from it. He was a masochist tho. That was hard to do. He loved getting into fights and would laugh and smile while fighting. Very disturbing.Still, a total monster.

[@irisangelicaremnesbratty1636]

Thank you, Paul Holmes, for fighting these battles for us, we need men more than they realize🖤

[@SuzanneO707]

We have to ask ourselves, how come these people are enabled? Because less extreme but similar behaviours and characteristics are sometimes encouraged or even admired in "respectable" society? We shouldn't live in fear but yes , be vigilant and watch your back and look out for others too.

[@saturdayschild8535]

I’m listening to this interview and I don’t feel the seven signs were enough to warn women. After divorcing one of these creatures (I have no idea if he’s ever committed crimes or killed anyone, but some markers were present), society will never catch these guys if they keep ignoring and discounting the stories of women. These are people that love image management. Knowing one of the killers stoped after having kids shows he found a more socially acceptable way of gaining fuel. Children provide the most pure fuel for these monsters and the court system keeps forcing the kids to stay in contact with their biggest abuser. It takes a lot to scare me. After watching this video, it appears I need to boost my perception of fearful situations to avoid ending up with a worse partner/friend/neighbor.

[@williamthecaterpillar5091]

This happened to me, I was put in danger many times, not always obvious but I would be suddenly led into it. I felt silly talking about it, like people would think I was exaggerating. So glad I’m out of it all now.

[@hajalameh]

Me too. He made me go alone in a quiet street ahead of him when there many stabbing hate crimes against minorities in UK. I just got harassing cat calls and I escaped from a group of guys 😢

[@JeannieSoko]

Hi Lisa, I know that there is a lot of concentration on psychopaths that commit crimes, what about those psychopaths that do not commit crimes, there are several spectrums of psychopaths and some are women also.

[@BonesAndButtons]

Yes, that subject would interest me.

[@staciacrick3373]

Vey very rare to have female psychopaths

[@JeannieSoko]

Psychopath women are not rare to find, they are very common

[@tanyadepoalo4312]

Another excellent and incredibly informative episode Lisa! thank you so very much for shining a light on this important and life saving topic. We all need to be taking about this and exposing the evils out there in this world, in ALL walks of life! The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy and Knowledge is power and protection for us. Thank you🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

[@TheAwesomes2104]

Areas with a lot of slaughterhouse workers typically have much higher rates of violent crime, especially crimes against women. Pythagoras said "For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other." 2,500 years ago. This is far from new knowledge.

[@amymayrose6210]

This was very insightful, from what Paul has said here. I know im right not to take him back and i made the right decision to leave him months ago

[@calgal5752]

As an older woman, I have a predator detector brain….it’s scary how many are out there.

[@amymayrose6210]

@@calgal5752 you are right there are too many its scary. I'm happier and I know I'm safer on my own as well.

[@simplypositiveme]

Wow, you look amazing, Lisa! 😊

[@LisaBilyeu]

Ahhh thanks homie!

[@elinamaar]

Super interesting episode! Thank you Lisa & team for taking a deep dive into topics like these, they are so important for us.

[@mariapilarme]

Thanks Paul Holes! You did so much for our safety.

[@ghostchaser13]

TY Lisa for this interview! This man is awesome! There was a cop here in NorCal who "misappropriated" drugs from the evidence room he was in charge of. He was allowed to retire.

[@Aaashnative8]

I mean some are so good hiding it. When I was in the police academy the guy who taught ethics (also a cop) was caught being a sex offender. Sad. And the law enforcement field many of the guys having that gun on their hip boost their ego way too much. They literally just do it for the uniform. Also sad.

[@sarahkennedy1481]

Tbh i am afraid to marry any man as lots of men can just turn. Who knows too re online dating?

[@PaulaSmith-c3r]

Online dating is dangerous but we never truly know anyone. We just believe we do but we don't! 😢

[@fab3laundry]

The moment I heard you describe the plates on the husbands backs, I suddenly realised why they thought the Golden State Killer and Australia's Mr Cruel were one and the same.

[@fab3laundry]

Omg they both did verbal staging as well.

[@Olivia-bl8ez]

Reading these comments makes me feel less alone. I was married to a diagnosed psychopath. I have a great support system but it’s hard to explain how he was able to change me so much. There were zero signs until the wedding papers were signed. Then our whole marriage, he was pure evil. Evil is the best word I have to describe it.

[@StacyA406]

Thank you so much for focusing on this topic Lisa!! It’s so important!

[@sarahkennedy1481]

Lisa looks fantastic and beautiful with her hair down and not the aggressive side pattern.

[@StaceyLozano-fz1ul]

My ex boyfriend was definitely a physical and mental sadists. He was soooooooo violent and controlling, cruel, vindictive, crazy making unhinged deeply disturbed person. He absolutely abusive towards me, like he's whole personality would change within seconds. I believe he got off being so mentally cruel. I literally got this feeling I was in Danger and left with the clothes on her back.

[@misskathleen490]

I don't know if mine was a psycho 8 think it's just acscumbag narc. If someone actually hurt me or appears sadistic I will be out

[@terrimartel6558]

Lisa and Mr. Holes, You may find the documentary about Fred and Rose West to be fascinating and very disturbing. Rose West's life experience, and her behavior, doesn't necessarily fit that of the innocent victim of a psychopath. The lives of these two as individuals and as a couple is horrifying.

[@LyransArc]

INTUITION and sense may be the thing that is always there. If you don't talk your way out of that, you may nail a decent experience - and certainly none of the types discussed here, every time, consistently.

[@thebridewearsblack]

Yeah... it's our brain alerting us something is not right based on information the conscious part of the mind doesn't know how to put into words. But the info is there and the brain codifies it constantly

[@Allison-cb3bj]

Thank you so much for sticking up for women !!!

[@govindtanwar8165]

If you're seeing this comment, it might be a sign to read 'Magnetic Aura' from Talesio, much love ❤️

[@lesliemccauley2003]

If you're seeing this comment it might be a sign to vote for Trump.

[@calgal5752]

@@lesliemccauley2003. Or not

[@mayahreone6188]

I believe my ex was a narcissist for sure. His friend ended up committing suicide & he did not care at all. At the time I thought he just didn’t want to show his emotions but as I watch this video I’m seeing he truly did not care…

[@marywhite3970]

Never put yourself in an isolated or unprotected environment...be situationally AWARE!!!! Or be armed and ready to protect yourself. Your safety is YOUR primary responsibility! Take it seriously! At the risk of sounding paranoid...we live in a world of predators and unstable deviants. It's an unfortunate reality. And like DeAngelo, he was a cop!!!

[@suecurry4202]

Because thete are two sides to this type of individual , victims often find it difficult to start to talk to people and get support . They are met with people defending the psychopath and/or narcissist .... People need to start really listening .

[@TeresaBlack-c5v]

There needs to be someone who checks behind prisons doors & courtyards & halls,govt as well and stops predators in their tracks.

[@MaryWallace-wv2bn]

Enjoyed this so much! You were both so enjoying you occupations in this interview !

[@casperinsight3524]

Psychological sadist 👀 enjoy threatening inflicting fear 😨

[@hannahb3854]

I have a narcissist psychopath neighbour who has groomed her kids into being the same sneaky sly sadistic monster she is this is the true personality and in front of everyone she’s the poor victim such a lovely helpful person with loving kids it’s all a show

[@fionablaikie6422]

Thank you Lisa. Confirms my decision to leave after many attempts to break up. He tried to strangle me and that was it. He stalked me, financially abused me, had me followed by a private detective, dragged my reputation through the mud and more - all of this after we were divorced. I was trying to protect our 3 children from him and he cared nothing for any of us.

[@ljk7785]

Thank God for these videos, this is lifesaving.

[@PeggyLawrence-cn1jn]

This guy is brilliant and for all the women who have gone through stuff like they have and survived, thank heavens we have men like this to find the fiends!

[@jacquelyncrosland1761]

I was Financially Trapped!! Isolated!! HE was trying to Recruit others who would comply to make him Rich...he was,mentallyemotionally sometimes physically abusive!! .I later found out...geeshhhhh..😮😮😮 I had to GET MY MIND BODY SOUL BACK!! GRATEFUL! Lessons...🙏🏿

[@juliamikhaylova8235]

love how passionate this guest is, explains great deal

[@vitalishus]

I broke up with a narcissist/psychopath 2 years ago. Have recently moved into a tiny house on a 45 acre property and the landlord who also lives on the property and was just lovely in the beginning - I now realise is also a covert narcissist. I knew better but still didn’t pick it till I was already moved in! Now he is trying to surreptitiously control some things I do. I try to stay out of his way as much as possible. The other day I had a problem with my hot water & sent him a text. We had an altercation about the fact that I used an exclamation mark! Omg I have to get out. I can’t afford to move but will as soon as I can!! (See 2 exclamation marks right there! 😂)

[@marleyhill34]

I would never trust a man on an isolated 45acre property. He will bury you out there and no one would ever know. He will tell people you just got up left one day.

[@1dayfree]

Good luck exclamation mark ❗😂😊

[@Mia1827]

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

[@AnitaJason-s4d]

It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.

[@Mia1827]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@AnitaJason-s4d]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@AnitaJason-s4d]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Mia1827]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@agnesa154]

Lisa, you are so awesome thank you for everything always!❤❤❤❤

[@WildAntics13]

He is so good in breaking it down

[@theresatn000]

Absolutely Run don’t look back! Also No Second Chance !

[@LyransArc]

I bet anything BTK was an unrecognized narcissist. The partner always knows the stand-out problems but without conscious awareness of what narcissist really is and the fact that it's an actual thing, they may still be 'dealing' with them from the circumstances best they can or even as another 'human being' which truly they are not. Awareness is a gift that allows you to directly act on the truth - or at least practice your way into doing so.

[@cece2347]

Great interview Lisa thank you. It should be mandatory that everyone watches this.

[@motivated2connect]

Married one and his sister is a super stealthy psychopath! Women can be horrid psychopaths and they play the Narcissistic men, they beat them at their game!!!

[@deeprollingriver52]

Trust no one.

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

Been there. Scary shit. I fell for it all. Still healing 4 years later. He nearly unalived me several times. In the end he controlled my mind body and soul. Still to some degree even to this day. I couldn't live without him. I was helpless without him. He had made him to be my whole life. He was all I had left in life. He annihilated my whole being until I only existed as a part of him. I was no more.

[@jewelsbarbie]

The same thing happened to me. I had nothing and no one. He controlled everything, even down to when and what I ate. I was in a constant state of dissociation. I had no sense of reality. I ended up hospitalized. I am still not able to function properly to this day. 😢 My heart goes out to you, and I wish that you will become healthy and whole again. You are a beautiful soul who deserves peace of mind, security, and loving support. Sending so much love 🥺❤🫂

[@stellaanka100]

1:10:40 Bravo Lisa! 🙏👏💗😘 The world needs to know how these “nice façade people” get away with abuse, trafficking and organized with movers and shakers including members of 3-letter agencies. So many choose to stay in denial. Excellent and informative interview!!!

[@TruthandJustice-hz9nv]

This was pure gold, Thank you so much to you both for this, Yeah the BTK member of church facade of a good guy, Then doing crimes in the shadows, I love studying psychology and human behavior, I will read your book unmasked, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)

[@ninashirley432]

My ex partner and my brothers, killing animals and suppliers. I haven’t been caught yet, but that certainly psychopath and they get off on inflicting pain.

[@MusicInMotion_67]

Growing up in Sacramento I always knew Joseph De Angelo as the East Side Rapist. I remember the panic among the mom's on multiple occasions when he struck in my area. I was around nine years old at the time so around 1976-1977. My God mother almost became one of his victims. Luckily after he had locked my God brothers and God sisters in their room from the outside, one of the boys woke up to use the bathroom. When he couldn't open the bedroom door, he started pounding on the door and yelling thinking his siblings had pranked him. This scared the East Side Rapist away. He was standing over my God Mother's bed with a mask on his face and a knife in his hand telling her not to make a sound or he'd kill her at the time that the ruckus started.

[@ChildofGod98765]

GOD hear my prayers. At times I feel alone as a single mother yet I’m not because I have you. Give me strength I’ve been struggling to support my children for the last 4 years both are special needs. Jesus help me as I struggle to support my children’s basic necessities like groceries and clothing. Give me strength. Amen.💕

[@simplypositiveme]

Jesus, keep this person safe and happy.

[@deeb8733]

Amen

[@QuintessentialKeygirl]

Paul Holes is the GOAT ❤

[@melissazwieg2988]

Diddy~ predator!

[@StaceyShaf]

This is gonna give me nightmares!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Oh no lol! The point is to empower us to never become trapped. Now I’m saying that but wanna know the truth? In preparing for this episode, I watched so much content on his crimes that I had to stop watching before bed coz I was having nightmares 😮 So there’s this really strange juxtaposition of it being scary and yet so frikin empowering at the same time!

[@josephinesedilla7174]

Cognitive dissonance is the buzz word I should remember. He is sadistic sexually, emotionally, financially, psychologicaly in the privacy of the home but goody2 in the public eye nobody would believe you if you tell on him. When you are gradually recognizing his true color he acts nicely to you and you get confused so it takes decades of suffering.

[@lisehrby2565]

Very interesting interview - but the click bait was off. Not much about/focus on what to watch out for. What are the 7 signs?

[@PrinceGamer-bm1dp]

you're my favorite content creator love

[@Greenbambu78]

Thanks for the book title. Will check it out...

[@fionam3735]

As one who knows it’s often too late and they then come after your kids and charm the courts to make you look like the bad mother

[@ninashirley432]

In my case, my mother-in-law and my mother, a black widow spiders, and they groom their sons to work with the crime

[@SusanHamer]

My ex was a cop. Married 10 years. He also believed rules did not apply to him. He also loved terrifying me. He was viciously cruel. But most people thought he was a great guy

[@-cMc-]

Killers go after anyone it doesn’t matter if you look weak if you are a strong individual or anything in between. There is no need to victim blame ever it could happen to anyone. It takes a village to spot it and to defend against these destructive ppl.

[@fab3laundry]

Any guy who sneaks up on his partner pretending to be a stranger in order to scare her when she is vulnerable - is a psychopath.