#1 Therapist: “If You See THIS SH*TTY Behavior it’s a Signs He’s Using You…” | Terri Cole

[@LisaBilyeu]

Thank you to today's sponsor: One Skin: Visit impacttheory.co/oneskinWOIsept and use code WOI for 15% off to make your skin look, feel, and act younger with OneSkin!

[@Portia620]

There’s always somebody better nobody’s the best!!! Remember that always put yourself first and always be willing to walk when you’re being treated bsdly!

[@medianightowl3885]

Hi Lisa, I really wish you’d post your guest’s names in your title. Most of the time I have no idea who you’re interviewing. 🙏

[@chrystalnorris9630]

😅

[@cynthiamerryman]

6:30

[@lt827]

I have seen toxic people use the “I am not prepared to talk about this right now diversion” in a manipulative way. They take shots at you and when you want to discuss the firestorm they have started, they walk away claiming self-care.

[@ebrennie]

Eh. That can also be a rather effective and healthy boundary that can do wonders in terms of resolving conflict. I don’t think it helps anyone to try to solve conflict when emotions are high. Walking away from 20 minutes can change the energy, but the key is communicating that. “I need 20. I’m too in my emotions, and I don’t want to say something I don’t mean. So let’s take 20, cool off, and come back to this conversation then. I want to work this out.” But yes, toxic people don’t do that. They just do silent treatment and walk away with no communication or sign they intend to pick the topic back up. They did something wrong yet when you ask for accountability (a normal expectation) they employ argumentative gymnastics and word salad to try to turn the tables. It’s like they expect you to forgot. And yes, too often “self care” is mistaken for always giving yourself a pass. Sometimes the self care you really need is a trip to the gym instead of meditation, or to finish your work instead of taking a nap, or learning how to confront conflict constructively instead of hoping it will just magically go away, cuz it’s gonna happen in your life no matter what.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Yes, my mother would do this. Do the one thing you asked her twice *not* to do but if you ask whyyyyyyy she will put up her hand ✋️ like "no!" Do there is no space to discuss that. You can't ask why. Because she is boundaried. Her boundary is that she will *not* be questioned. Her motives were pure and her boundary is that that is always the place she was coming from, so there is nothing to discuss. Any attempt is an attack. She ignores the few small requests I made of her, publicly, labels me sensitive, emotional, and if I try to raise any of this, I'm "aggressive" and she is the victim of me. She goes from insulting me to cold shouldering me without missing a beat. There's no way to press pause in the middle. But she honestly genuinely believes she is the victim of me.

[@lt827]

@ another example of the double standard- - classic narcissism

[@teresareid5034]

That’s a healthy person saying I’m not ready to have this conversation at this moment that’s a adult person we don’t have to have a conversation right there and then we have choices if you as a person needs to say I want this conversation now your the one that needs to be in control

[@lt827]

@ I guess you’ve never seen a narcissistic person try to mimic ‘good’ behaviour and use it as a weapon.

[@msfifi8669]

I started so naive in life and I let people use me for decades. I believe I was l searching for closeness, attachment and love , for them it was about ; control and dominance. Fortunately ,I learned as from my experiences and realise my number one job in the world is to look after myself ❤

[@montarynn]

👏🏾

[@ebarner1813]

Me too. After taking care of my mother from a young age. Not having long-term relationships with men for most of my adult life. I figured there was something inherently wrong with me. Now after a 22 year marriage where I was discounted, emotionally abused and my emotions devalued. I’m leaving to take care of my precious self, my soul and my God-given life. May we all be free to be who we were created to be.

[@msfifi8669]

@@ebarner1813 bravo!!! Never too late . Enjoy the rest of your free, peaceful, liberating lifestyle.

[@SherriFlemming]

From Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Narcissistic Abuse Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Lovebombing And Grooming - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissist Trust Your Gut- Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Could Attachment Styles Be Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why Didn't You See The Red Flags? - Ken Reid podcast🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant's Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 The Impact Of Lovebombing with Shanel Whitney podcast ( Ken Reid)🌞 If Avoidant's Were Honest - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Signs You're Dating A Severely Avoidant Person - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Marriage And Severe Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant's And Lovebombing - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 The Real Reason Avoidant Attachment Breaks Up With You - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attacher Gaslighting -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Seek Good Character-David Tian podcast 🌞 Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachment is common in the dating pool. 5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 Sam Vaknin PhD and David Tian PhD have educational podcasts on The Red Pill community. The Unfiltered Truth About The Red Pill - David Tian PhD podcast - episodes 1 and 2

[@SherriFlemming]

Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker Complex PTSD Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker 🌞 The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ❤️ Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter- avoidant attachment He's Scared She's Scared - Stephen A Carter

[@sandrakaima]

This woman has described me 😢😢😢 I am letting go of being super helpful 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@xolalalo]

I have always been "super helpful" and it got me taken advantage of. I feel like there should be balance, but...

[@shannonhopson-p7h]

I'm a narcissist abuse coach. I've been through narcissistic abuse over and over until I finally was able to break the pattern. It's sounds like you are ready to change old patterns 😊. I wish you the very best. You deserve it!

[@SherriFlemming]

Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidants Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 How To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuse Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissist Trust Your Gut- Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life And Own It -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachment is common in the dating pool. 5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞

[@SherriFlemming]

Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ❤️ Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin attachment styles Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter avoidant attachment The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Marriage Ain't For Punks by Calvin Robertson The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis

[@jennydefran]

Same!!

[@kikijames7925]

Ugh FINALLY. I understand myself so much better thanks to this interview. Not only am I empathic, which I struggle with, because I am constantly feeling way too much. But I had also been in long-term relationships with narcissists. Through therapy, I found out I am a high-functioning codependent. My exes would tell me I was a perfectionist and controlling, but they let me do all the work. I was okay with scheduling their agendas and appointments and ensuring they got to work on time. I also do this for my family. I worry about my sister's children if she's feeding them the right foods. I even buy my sister's dog food because I don't like the one she buys, and she HAS A HUSBAND! I worry about my parents and if they're going to their doctors. I am the family manager, as they all call me. I am single now and have taken five or six years to truly understand myself and stop sacrificing my happiness to please others, even when they don't ask for it. I related to everything Terri said. Thank you for this, Lisa & Terri.

[@SoulBeauty1111]

Yep!!

[@veronicakiwanuka247]

Me too

[@SherriFlemming]

Healing From A Breakup Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 The Avoidance Of Anxious Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidants Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞 5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 From Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Your Life Back Own It - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachment is common in the dating pool.

[@SherriFlemming]

Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter-- avoidant attachment Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin attachment styles Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It! Kamal Ravikant ❤️

[@staciacrick3373]

When a person is overly emotional and absorbing other peoples feelings and feeling all of those and such an overwhelming way, you cannot actually provide emotional empathy to another person so during that time, you are not providing emotional empathy, you are not empathic for someone else only yourself. THERAPIST, stay distanced and attached so they actually can provide the emotional empathy for their client

[@Shanajapapaya]

I've watched hundreds of videos on Codependency, relationships, boundries, attachmentstyles, cptsd..... This one had a remarkable amount of a-ha moments, really wonderful, Thank you Terri! For all you beautiful souls who are really struggling to understand why you are dealing with these topics - I highly recommend the Crappy Childhood Fairy youtube channel!

[@higuoy]

A beneficial irony if you you are with a narcissist(diagnosed), is when I became extremely ill, his lack of empathy became so glaring, and since his toy was broke(me), he left. I didn't realize what a blessing my being sick could be.

[@tanyadepoalo4312]

My ex N had a party at his vacation rental when I was in the hospital and he slept with some chick that his brother was friends with that he brought over with him for the weekend. I found out several months later, but the entire time I was at home recovering he didn’t come to see me once! What a loser, I’m so glad I’m not with him anymore, 11 years of crazy making bs. I was single for 6 years and then started dating and met another N! 2.5 years with that one and I’m out now. I am not interested in dating anymore. I know there’s good men out there but damn they are few and far between.

[@SherriFlemming]

​@@tanyadepoalo4312 I hear you. It takes a strong independent person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with just anyone to say they have someone.

[@SherriFlemming]

Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Avoidant's Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 How To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuse Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissist? Trust Your Gut- Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachment is common in the dating pool.

[@SherriFlemming]

Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast 🌞 Avoidant's are common in the dating pool. Avoidant's Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuse Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@curiousgirl.4134]

@@SherriFlemming Amen!

[@Secretsauce114]

Her Book Boundary Boss helped me so much to find myself when I was going through divorce. This was such a good interview!

[@intelligentcat192]

What a terrific show! One of the best I've watched. Terri Cole is so clear and really points Codependency out.

[@lisaleebb]

I don’t think I have ever felt this seen… this was extremely powerful. I have preordered the book and looking forward to getting to the other side! Keep doing these amazing interviews, Lisa. Life changing. 💕

[@LisaBilyeu]

Oh I’m so pleased it helped!!! Thank you for being here homie 😍

[@dannirabbit]

What book?

[@tanyacarlyle1422]

@@dannirabbitToo Much is the name of her latest book

[@curiousgirl.4134]

@@tanyacarlyle1422 That’s how you sell books, they don’t sell themselves. It’s business for a greater good for the ones who are seeking answers.

[@anamaez5047]

She is soooooooo good explaining things!! Great interview thanks Lisa YOU ROCK!!!

[@Lore788]

Codependency and narcissism is a match made in heaven, will eventually turn into a match made in hell.😱 Unlearning and learning. Thank you, for another great message!🙏❤️🥰

[@SherriFlemming]

Ken Reid clinician, Sam Vaknin PhD, and David Tian PhD have informative podcasts on attachment styles and other topics. Know yourself and your attachment style. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast (avoidant attachment)

[@Lore788]

@@SherriFlemming Avoidant style , learning and unlearning.🙏🥰

[@SherriFlemming]

Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Why Does He Do That! by Lundy Bancroft Avoidant Abuse by Rhea Khan ( ebook) Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Facing Codependency by Pia Melody 🌞 Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters I Hear You by Michael Sorenson 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

[@Lore788]

@@SherriFlemmingThank, you!😻

[@SherriFlemming]

@@Lore788 You're very welcome! All the best.

[@p.s.6674]

This is so helpful. I've gone through life with this mentality. I believed I attracted this type of person. I need to set aside my ego and realize that I'm attracted to those situations because of how I can feel helpful and wanted and needed. I'm trying to learn how to stop this cycle that ends up with me feeling like my cup is empty from giving so much and feeling depleted, misunderstood, and alone. This was so very insightful and inspiring! Thank you Lisa and Terry!

[@SherriFlemming]

Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Avoidant's Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing by Sam Vaknin ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It-Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin attachment styles Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

[@efdunn]

Hello twin! I'm in the same boat

[@nicoles_luv]

Moving into 'life lite' became absolutely devastating for me 💔 It killed my spirit, and the world was gray. I am grateful that through hard work and discipline, I can feel and be present in my life. It is the most full I've ever been.

[@kyleegarcia5569]

I’m a lot better about only worrying about myself, but obviously the responsibility of running our life/household is different. That makes me completely overwhelmed regularly.

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

Beautiful, sensible program. Thank you, ladies. Shout it from the rooftops!!

[@tinkereyeskelly9437]

Alot of this is degrading kindness Kindness opens doors , dialogue, conversation,. But its about balance. About your giving n taking .

[@curiousgirl.4134]

Kindness is internal and who someone is. Codependency is an underlying need from self to feel better or creating no conflict. I am a kind person by nature and do not expect anything in return. I just DO and I have learned to receive when others want to be kind to me. ❤

[@175Boomer]

I think I have watch this 4 times!! Got her book and ready to recover!!!

[@janetb2217]

I was super helpful until menopause. I just can’t do it all anymore and he notices…I no longer GAF 😂😂😂

[@momione11]

It feels too good to be true. On that love bombing. Which I'm not used to. But was flattered. After a while, stress came. Then I got really sick. My body and soul got weaker and weaker. He got better. While I got worse. Then never any real conversations. Became poor. Because I like conversations before a lot of bullshit. Been concentrating on myself. Getting well. See what I needed to heal. Also see why I fell for this. But promised myself never to leave in too quickly. But take my time. No pressure from external factors. Then I have to go from there. But my motto is to never end up where I was. Many times the focus is on the narcissist. But have I put all my energy on myself. Took years to get out of this and see what it was rooted in. Got to see myself. I needed the narc to see myself and my worth.

[@amymayrose6210]

I had the love bombing as well and I was also flattered so I understand. I'd attracted a narc and lost who I was and my energy. I got sick for months so bad that I was in and out of hospital. Thats when I saw who he really was, he seamed happier in himself. He would laugh or try not to laugh or smile smugly when I was saying how much pain I was in. Once I was home he would constantly text me asking how I was everyday. I started to notice he was really happy and upbeat on the days I was struggling the most. So I asked him to stop asking me how I was everyday due to it annoying me. He would still continue to ask me, so I wouldn't answer him. He promised that we would go out for a meal once I was better but I knew it was a lie. Narcissist dont love, they only love to cause pain though their lies, and absolutely love to see us in physical pain. Though I'm grateful I got sick as I saw him for the evil narc he is. I left him, as I knew if he had been sick or ill I'd have done food shopping, cleaned, cooked, pick him up from the hospital, and not been happily smug!

[@SherriFlemming]

Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles and other topics. 🌞 Sam Vaknin PhD, and David Tian PhD have educational podcasts. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachments) Avoidant attachments are common in the dating pool. Both genders. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Adversity can be overcome! The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin (attachment styles) The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters I Hear You by Michael Sorenson The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter (avoidant attachment) Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody

[@SherriFlemming]

Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter Without Conscience by Robert D Hare The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker 🌞 Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Toxic Parents by Susan Forward 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

[@SherriFlemming]

Should We Live Together 5 Things To Consider With Men Over 40 - Jonathon Aslay podcast. The Gottman's are the leading experts in couples counselling. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. 🌞 Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay I HearYou by Michael Sorenson . Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter Without Conscience by Robert D Hare The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

[@SherriFlemming]

In todays world verify everything. Fact check Dating requires detective skills. Discernment. A background check is essential. Check their digital footprint. A complete stranger can say anything. Don't collect red flags and dealbreakers. Trust needs to be earned and requires proof. Always pay attention to your intuition and situational awareness. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future-Sam Vaknin podcast Never doubt patterns. AKA the track record.

[@elephantintheroom5678]

What is often left out of these discussions is what to do when the man simply won't play along with your clearly set boundaries. You must have the strength to face reality and to walk away, even if you are already enmeshed in a family.

[@islandgirlxx3465]

Your self-respect should be bigger than your feelings for a man. "I'll lose you before I lose me."

[@marleyofficialmedia]

Setting a boundary vs maintaining a boundary

[@SherriFlemming]

👍 Indeed, a powerful woman can walk away. Self respect, self love, standing in your power, speaking your truth for your own sovereignty without sugar coating anything. Boundaries are your dealbreakers. Accountability and consequences. Standards boundaries a backbone and a BS detector weeds out manipulators and opportunists. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, then they dont care about you.Trust needs to be earned. It requires proof. Truly powerful people don't need to explain why they want respect. They simply refuse to engage with anyone that doesn't give it to them. Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment ) There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker The Gift Of Fear

[@Cessamina]

I completely agree. There are times when, even after setting boundaries, the other person continues to ignore and cross them. I had to physically relocate with my children to find peace because of this.

[@elephantintheroom5678]

@@Cessamina All the best.

[@AnnieHeart-o5b]

Amazing. Thank you both. This one I have to watch a few times. Love love love

[@SittingPrettyH2T]

This is by far the most helpful interview I’ve ever watched in my LIFE! I feel seen to the core 😮‍💨

[@mb-sk4tq]

The entire podcast was so compelling. Thank you for sharing this conversation.

[@kath-29]

Lisa, intermittent fasting, reduced carbs, and a daily 30 minute walk have helped my perimenopause symptoms tremendously! Great interview! Thank you 🙏🏻

[@sherryfinlay461]

Thank you Lisa for introducing Dr. Terri Cole to some of us that were not familiar with her wisdom and fantastic knowledge. Love today’s session and appreciate it immensely 🥰🙏🧘🏻‍♀️

[@Ingrafre]

Wow, she looks like a filmstar from old hollywood!

[@tq325]

Terry Cole gives such solid advice ❤ I loved this interview!

[@shravyanadig1651]

my favourite guest, every line she says makes so much sense!

[@Allproceedingwithcaution]

I stopped myself from caring the minute a man just recently was hung over an ex drinking and gaslighting me so fast i was like this is not funny im so strong i dont care for being in danger i will protect myself at all costs forever

[@SherriFlemming]

👍 The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud. Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style

[@SherriFlemming]

Indeed. RUN Forrest RUN! Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style.

[@silviaconjar1184]

amazing, authentic, great conversation thank you so much

[@mw7882]

Codependents are assigned a low value and a mentality that everyone else is more important and must be saved at all cost. It is a requirement for "love" in a narcistic household but they all hate you in the end once they are up and running well.

[@mikimiki6202]

💯

[@alcudiababe1]

When I heard the story about Terri's sister I fully agree with Terri's therapist that her sister needed to be the hero of her life because I want to say this next part with respect I don't want to offend anyone but from personal experience if someone always rescues you, someone always comes into your life and has to save you and rearrange everything (as much as this is potentially done by someone as Terri says in fear of harm coming to you which perhaps people mistake fear of something happening to you for for love perhaps) but I'm just saying from personal experience with this kind of thing as the person who has been rescued and taken care of in the past you actually are harbouring resentment towards loved ones because you start feeling inadequate. Inadequate because you feel like someone wouldnt have to do that if you could actually do the thing you needed to do and you will feel like a failure in life. A failure because if you feel you cant do anything about your life it damages the self confidence of your ability to pull yourself together. What all this does it actually makes you feel you are dependent on others for your own safety and security, and for me, that was a scary feeling. My mind went straight to I don't want to be dependent, I don't want my life to be in someone else's hands and going back to Lisa's point you will be the woman who starts saying I can carry my own bags because the fear is there that because someone you felt in your past saw you as Inadequate now you have to be independent and strong. Plus, you get the feeling off the people or person(s) who are doing this "help" that it's not always coming from a good place especially when you can tell they're tired of you. You can either see it in their face or they'll tell you straight. "I'm tired of having to be the person who has to look out for you. I have problems of my own, you know." Or, "where's your gratitude for what I'm doing?" Because I'm aware this video is all centred about people doing things because they don't want bad things to happen and their mindset but its like they're going to do it anyway without you actually asking for help. It's not that you're not grateful you just want to make decisions in your life that are yours because its a bit different if you asking for help, otherwise, even though you can see what they are doing is perhaps the right thing to do a part of you is thinking but I'm not asking for help so why are they taking it out on me? Because after listening to a speech from someone like that especially someone you love not only is it painful you're left with the fear you're going to loose the support from your loved ones at an already emotional and difficult time. Plus, because the danger of other people coming on in and doing things in your life could make you start to think I can't do it. I can't do anything and the second you believe that where your thoughts dominate - any fight in you starts getting lost instead of finding a source of strength and pushing forward to essentially being the hero of your life, because when you start feeling desperate where you're constantly telling yourself you can't and that other people can that fear will keep you there permanently.

[@PropheticCoachTheresa]

Seems like in some form or another the HFC designation could do right after the title "woman." Getting these boundaries are so important. I've figured it out with men, hence I am single. But now trying to help combative, defiant mother in early dementia a whole other level of this is showing up in my life. Not always easy to navigate this, but very very necessary. Tough topic, thanks for the wisdom and insight.

[@helenamarhounova1120]

1.20 minute of this show and I just love Terri, how she start to cry, wow touch my heart, she is just amazing person, Lisa too, I have learned so much and improve my life like 180 because Lisa podcast and Terri, ladies you're just wonderful, I love you,

[@anniesherburne2983]

my man refused to talk to me, won't communicate . has now disappeared , blaming me! AND he was seeing someone else. that's where the conversation didn't happen, he refused

[@SherriFlemming]

You're worth more than this! What you do matters most of all.♥️ He's embarrassed he was caught. It's his ego. You're not responsible for his behavior. Please don't take him back if he returns. Rejection is protection. Stand in your power! Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician, Sam Vaknin PhD and David Tian PhD have educational podcasts on attachment styles and other topics Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated Podcast (avoidant attachment) Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Up To You How People Treat You Change Your Messaging Signaling - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@mikimiki6202]

Happening right now

[@SherriFlemming]

@@mikimiki6202 What are you doing to do?

[@mikimiki6202]

​@SherriFlemming trying to get help in therapy to break trauma bond. Just passed the 20 yr mark. I'm devastated

[@SherriFlemming]

​​@@mikimiki6202 This is challenging. You've got this.! Stand in your power and speak your truth without sugar coating anything Breaking the cycle is what counts. You matter most of all♥️. Health and safety is wealth. 🌞 Sending you the light. 🙏🌞

[@chrisnam1603]

Fibro, CFS, all of them & more... never ending stress - fear - not at ease... due to narc mother etc... i recognize all this amazing lady says, and what many nice people write here too... realising it is first step (took me SO long)... to 'see' how cruel she really is, bless you & Lisa for all this, from Belgium♥ 'olympic sports walking on egg shells' gosh so well said 😢

[@monalise6079]

I recall E. Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel infererior without your consent."

[@denisedenise9530]

This assumes you know what it is like to feel good. If you are not treated well as a child , you don’t know what it is. Blame the victim is mean

[@SherriFlemming]

Avoidant's Are Too Good At Dating -Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Are Attachment Styles Biological? Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Marriage And Severe Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 If Avoidant's Were Honest - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Signs You're Dating A Severely Avoidant Person - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Avoidant Attachers And Covert Control-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 The Real Reason Avoidant Attachment Breaks Up With You - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 A Low Effort Man Thinks You'll Wait Forever - Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 5 Boundaries You Must Set With Men -;Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 5 Shocking Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Man by Jonathon Aslay podcast 🌞 Narcissistic Abuse Checklist 100 Tips For Survival And Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Narcissist? Trust Your Gut- -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Coercive Control - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@SherriFlemming]

Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Women That Love Too Much by Robin Norwood The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter - avoidant attachment Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ❤️ Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg

[@tanyadepoalo4312]

I don’t like general statements like that. It may seem “profound” but it’s really narrow and doesn’t take in to account all aspects of life and situations.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

That is true now finally after ten years of self compassion and therapy, insight, healing, reading and the passing of time.

[@shellshelly5552]

Thank you Lisa and Terri! You’re both fabulous.❤

[@StKrane]

Thank you so much. I love how there was so much information, kindness and honesty in your conversation. I learned a lot and will keep up with considering myself (self-abandonment can go f itself). Thanks!

[@HipHop-vg7cd]

2 minutes in and that was me!! What I would have given for this info back before we had the internet and I wasted over 3 decades with a covert Narc bc I had no clue they even existed!! My health put ME DOWN by the end! Please take warning young people, get out ASAP. Great guest and conversation ladies 🙏🏼❤️

[@lilymalm7488]

Hi Lisa! I’ve loved your channel for many years and it has in many ways redirected my life for the better❤ As a lesbian, however, I don’t see myself represented and feel left out as being queer adds another layer of complications to dating and relationships. It’s especially isolating because I had a pretty bad coming out experience, which can really complicate attachment patterns and communication. Could you invite some queer guests? It would really make a difference. Thank you and keep up the good work❤

[@daysleepnightread6905]

Very grateful for your show Lisa. Thank you for being real and relatable.

[@TheErika711]

As a current member of 12 step codependents anonymous (that is saving my life) I'm looking extremely forward to her book

[@susienovis9289]

I found Co-Da unhelpful for me, sadly... but I'm getting Terri Cole's latest book as I suspect it will be far more helpful for me!

[@TheErika711]

@susienovis9289 unless your willing to work the program it won't work just going to meetings doesn't "fix" codependency I'm glad your getting her book your on a good path she's amazing

[@susienovis9289]

@@TheErika711 please don't make assumptions, or make a trite comment about working the program for it to work, for you don't know me, or what I've already done to help myself. I gave it my all & 'worked the program', as I truly believed it would help. It didn't help me, but I'm delighted that it's helping you, & I know very well that it helps many people. My comment was never meant to be a slur on the program, or you.

[@susienovis9289]

@@TheErika711 please don't be so patronising. You are displaying your own HFCodependency here, in your 'need' to correct me. I did not need this or ask for your 'advice'. .

[@Portia620]

I was starting to worry that she’s saying not to tell people that they’re in a bad place because when people do that then maybe she doesn’t know she’s in a bad place and a bad relationship. Definitely let them know but after that, you can’t keep hounding them.!!

[@marleyofficialmedia]

"Wheres my parade? Wheres my medal?" Had me laughing. Love the sense of humour 👌 😄

[@oliviasmit2657]

Amazing women !! Amazing information and inspiring insights ❤ Thank You

[@gracescoglietti583]

Thankful for teaching me these topics, i absolutely relate on these subjects, surely empowering, thankful Lisa & Terri for your gift while moving forward on my life journey ❤

[@czhanell]

This is soooo good! Thank you so much

[@elainec5333]

We’re all of it. We’re all codependent, narcissistic, stupid, selfish, self reverent, used, using, etc.

[@CeciledeLuire]

that high functioning codependents want to control the outcome does not get the heart of codependency in my opinion. *codependency in my opinion is the FEAR to AGAIN NOT BE LOVED, and the try to get loved by adapting. why? because adapting to the caregivers was the way to survive as kids.* because of this search for love, the *way* unhealed codependents choose is to adapt and and this way to hopefully finally get this long missed love. it is not about control. it is about love. unfortunately, as long as there is no healing, often codependents look for love in the wrong people - in people that are similar to their caregivers; and the wrong way to find love: always adapting instead of speaking up for themselves.

[@chrissemenko628]

👏👏👏

[@Suboptimalconditions]

I just left someone during the love bomb phase (it wasn’t all love bomb there was intense pressure to be intimate and to jump right into moving in and marriage with a ring) because I got some spidey sense thing and I started watching things to understand the weird feelings of wanting to run away. This is one of the most helpful channels and this episode is very helpful. My kids deserve a mom who feeds her own good energy so that I can be a good mother to them instead of feeding a man and having them (my kids) second. I didn’t get mean, i just was truthful and stable and protective of my energy because my kids deserve a mom who puts herself and her kids first. I am beyond grateful for information like this. I was getting so stressed out because I needed some peace and space to think and dream and he kept trying to shine a light on how much more he loved me than I loved him and the war inside myself wanted to rage… there was no rage. I was calm and loving and said I couldn’t continue with him. He has since then been showing his true colors to me while writing letters to my kids and giving them gifts. I understand how that seems because it truly is kind to give my kids something and tell them they are important. They are very important. Which is why they deserve a mom who is safe and supportive of them and emotionally stable. I’m so thankful I left. I don’t think the man was a bad man but I do know he is not the right person for me at this time and I am not the right person for him at this time either because I don’t have the capacity to give him what he clearly said he needs.

[@susienovis9289]

Try watching Dr Ramani Durvasula for help with this - it is NOT easy...

[@evadebruijn]

You still defending his character says so much. People can say they love you until the cows come home, but when interacting with them gives feelings of being stressed out that says it all. If someone truly loves you you can feel it in how your body reacts because it feels a net positive. I'm happy for your children to be blessed with having a mother who puts them first ❤️💪❗

[@susienovis9289]

Well done for leaving & putting yourself & your kids first. His "kindness" in giving compliments & gifts to your kids now might just be a very clever tactic, rather than genuine, so do be careful not to blindside yourself here & allow your kids to be appreciative of a man who might NOT have good intentions. He might want to use them as pawns against you...which is what often happens...and that can cause so much emotional damage to your children, as well as yourself...that can last a lifetime...what he is doing might be pure manipulation. Be wary....

[@Suboptimalconditions]

@@susienovis9289 that’s true and it was at some level a manipulation tactic even if it was also out of a kindness. I think many people have learned terrible relationship dynamics from the messed up patriarchy system. I don’t think it helps to point a finger at someone who is f@$ked up and tell them “you’re f@&ked up” but it is very valid and valuable information to tell them how they got me f@$ked up and I no longer participate in someone else’s version of who they think I am or should be. I told him from the start “The only two priorities I have are being successful in business and being my kids’ biggest supporter and confidant”

[@preetsrivastava7970]

she is experienced and wise. wonderful session. having had narcissistic asian parents, this was a good listen

[@sarahcouture24]

I love that you call out Nancy Regan for that just say no bs! Haha

[@cathyjennings5580]

Thanks SO MUCH for your knowledge and time for Us women. & Seniors (vulnerable desperate for affection & adoration, attention , ATTENTION from a charming smooth talkers friendly and warm hospitality to every neighbor, acquaintances!!!! 😅😊😊.

[@SueORourke]

This makes so much sense for my life. Now I have a name for it all. 😢

[@millaspuffs6744]

Such amazing conversation 🙏💛

[@erikahyman8611]

This is so me. I have work to do. Thank you for sharing & teaching us that we can heal & that there is another way. A healthier way to use our energy. I always want to help. To be the hero. I need to let people navigate their own lives.

[@SherriFlemming]

@@erikahyman8611 . Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachment men.

[@SherriFlemming]

@@erikahyman8611 Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments

[@SherriFlemming]

Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren I Hear You by Michael Sorenson 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Sorenson The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

[@SherriFlemming]

Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay

[@SherriFlemming]

Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

[@tinkereyeskelly9437]

Jaw chewing is repressed anger. Which can be from any situation in a lifetime.. childhood too.

[@mikimiki6202]

😪

[@alcudiababe1]

By telling the truth it cam deepen relationships and build deeper connections but I agree with Brene Brown's work when she says look before you made that vulnerability jump because by sharing it to the wrong person who doesn't understand has a black and white rigid mindset you're now further into the shame. If you feel safe with this person, that they really care about you and don't tend to judge and you make that vulnerability leap you will deepen that relationship 💯

[@MeanEileen916]

I appreciated hearing this today! Great show! 👌👌🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@suekremelberg7644]

Awesome podcast!! Thank you so much!! Love it!!❤

[@sugarblaze8227]

Soo me. Everything mentioned in this programe fits me to a T..... And i dont know how to stop..... And you realise people know they can depend on you no matter what a sacrifice you have to make and it is soo sooo insanly hurtful giving every drop of yourself to a man that does not even blink at what it took for you to do that... While he flirts and enjoys the attention of other women that to him seem far superior to what and who i am. That is sad..... Ugly betty coming through.... That is how i feel.... Knowing i am only good for certain things.

[@evadebruijn]

It's been a month, I hope you broke that off and feel like a weight fell off your shoulders. Keeping people in your intimate circle who are not the uplifting type but the contrary, like you described, constant criticism deliverers, never happy or satisfied with what you bring to the table, wreaks havoc on your health and wellbeing it will make you sick, mentally and physically. 🍀✌️

[@jessicacerkoney]

This is exactly where I’m at right now. Such a great and informative interview. I wish there was a shift in the titles of these podcasts. When I share this on FB, for example, I sometimes the video titles make me feel insecure about sharing. I wish the titles and thumbnails reflected the heart of the conversation more than bordering on clickbait. Thank you for having these vulnerable conversations so that we can also learn and grow 🌱❤️

[@LisaBilyeu]

Hey hey thanks for this very constructive feedback! Appreciate it soooo much! I totally hear you on the Title situation. And as I’m always so transparent I will say that it’s a tough balance. If I title it something that won’t get clicks then KZbin would never have served you the video. But I never want to be misleading or click bait. So there’s a razor line that I skate on a weekly basis! But this type of feedback is helping me and the channel and this amazing community so please do keep letting me know your thoughts! I am listening 😍🥰💪🙌

[@jessicacerkoney]

@@LisaBilyeu I appreciate you!! Thank you 🙏 ❤️

[@SherriFlemming]

@@LisaBilyeu Lisa thank you for having such informative guests and producing such great shows! Bless you.❤️

[@ax7su954]

Oo soo true all. Thank you! 😊

[@moongoddess45]

This woman is amazing~!! Dr Terry is so down to earth and revealing her own HFC, made me see my own, holy shit.

[@casperinsight3524]

Eye opening conversation here 👀

[@sarahkercheval8964]

I love Lisa but I rly hate that she has to put up with her husband’s porn addiction publicly 😢 she’s not setting a good standard for women and the crap we have to put up with just to stay with a man in 2024.

[@evadebruijn]

Just because she is expected by some to be a "good rolemodel" whatever that means, does not mean she is obliged to only present some perfect life/relationship (no such thing exists anyway) Why would the people in the public eye have a less problematic life experience than all the rest of us? I don't understand that She does not owe her public/fans anything. If she would sell it like How I do it is the way to do it, yeah that would be different.

[@justinanorwath3847]

Not all narcisissts are great at sex because my ex never wanted sex nor any kind of intimacy and he didn't love bombed me either so not all narcisisstic men are the same like she said her ex was to her.

[@michellem775]

I was in a narcissistic relationship yet every time I listen to what it is to be a co-dependent I don't feel like I identify with it. Is it possible that I could be something else to attract a narcissist? If so, what could it be? Could be possible that these relationships can make you co dependent over time if you're an empathetic person but I don't believe everyone goes into them co-dependent.

[@malikasaba9659]

Great. Simply great! Thank you sooo much for this interview!! I don t feel as beeing a codependent in general. But yes...in certain situations I get activated in that direction, I suppose. Mostly in intimate relationsships. Very good advice here!

[@trudiegordon6327]

Love the way this lady explains it.

[@pearljantjies2562]

Thank u Lisa. Love you. Great podcast. Beautiful guest. So eloquent and gracious

[@pegahshahbaz9550]

Thank you.

[@staciacrick3373]

And if you need the narcissist to believe you are the best that’s narcissistic too. Narcissist want to be adored admired, and so then the codependent wants to be adored and admired by the narcissist just does it in a different way where they become a doormat and submissive, and either their own needs and wants, but yeah, they’re able to feel special which is narcissistic

[@evadebruijn]

Yes, it is. There is as much overlap between codependency, covert narcissism and empathic, just like there is between for instance complex post traumatic stress, a fearful avoidant attachment style and borderline personality disorder. On the other hand, having a desire for a relationship where you are very special to eachother (forsake all others and all that) not sure that is necessarily a wish stemming from narcissism. Plus there is a healthy amount of narcissism necessary to live a full life, sometimes it feels like the general message spread between the lines of all content regarding narcissism (covert, overt, victims of the malignant,) is that all narcissism is bad and zero narcissism would be perfect.

[@woboznz]

I have a friend who i cant tell if she's an HFC or narc... more like a LFC. i think im a hfc although in progress of healing and so im finding her very challenging to keep as a friend despite really wanting to

[@SherriFlemming]

Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments

[@kamhair101]

This is so true and so helpful ….

[@alcudiababe1]

Yeah, okay, I do get there are people out there who are extreme people pleasers, but I strongly see how they could be viewed as narcissists if they're trying to control outcomes from other people. I do recommend that instead of trying to control other people, focus on what you can control in your life, which are your actions and how you show up in life because otherwise your happiness depends on others to create a harmony in the world and that's not what is going to happen. The less time you worry about other people and focus on yourself the better of a life you will lead. You actually create more chaos when you're meddling in other people's affairs, and there's a strong chance it's going to come back on you and you're going to look bad, let other people sort themselves out and if they don't get along, they don't get along, it happens. As long as nothing directly impacts you don't get involved. You'll be acussed of stirring the pot, going backwards and forwards from people because essentially you will be saying to that other person what the previous person is saying abd it's going to blow up in your face. Then people pleasers are going to feel a whole lot worse. My husband used to say things to me, leave things alone, don't get involved, let them sort it out its nothing to do with you, and he's right. People pleasers could end up losing both friends

[@SherriFlemming]

Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts. Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachments) There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool. The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

[@SherriFlemming]

8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

[@Claire-cj6nn]

Been taking care of my family from the day I was born.. untill they all died. There wasn't anybody else to do that. Sometimes you are unlucky and life brings burden you cannot escape. Like when you need to take care of fysically or mentally ill people. Anyway I can't do that anymore. Reciprocal relationships or non.. These days, that is hard to find.

[@SherriFlemming]

Yes. Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality reciprocity. A two lane street. Mutual effort Partnership. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie Facing Codependency by Pia Melody What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool.

[@SherriFlemming]

Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Committment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie Facing Codependency by Pia Melody I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

[@kearabaggio7448]

I love what Terri offers however what is she talking about when she implies it’s over accommodating co-dependency when you are considerate, efficient, receptive, thoughtful enough to suggest the customer behind you in the checkout line can go ahead of you (if they have 1 item and you are unloading your 10 items in an “15 item express lane checkout”. Girl the “right” & thoughtful thing to do is to ask if they’d like to go ahead of you, cuz they’ll be out of there probably before you finish unloading lol! This is NOT over accommodating co-dependence to keep things moving efficiently and conducive. When you become more self-aware you pick up on these things. It comes down to your intentions, if your intention is to do it cuz that’s what you’ve been taught and it’s not authentic & genuine from your heart for you to do that sort of considerate action then it’s done at the abandonment of your truth and for approval then that’s co-dependency. It would be nice if she elaborated on this “accommodating” aspect weighing in on the intention of it. Thank you ❤️🙌🏽🤗

[@angelpandadaylane4924]

1:03:42 I validate myself with my me-days.

[@DeliaCamolina]

Thank you both so much I admire you both….

[@cathyjennings5580]

Interdependence 50 / 50 reciprocal actions desired. Preferences. Loving-kindness vs. Fake, belittling KINDNESS IS FALSE. LEADS TO FIBROMYALGIA MUSCLE TENSION ( PAINFUL Sensations darting around the body. Overalert, tension / muscle tension pains . Cause sadness, stress, headaches, neck aches, BACK ACHES, WHOLE BODY PAINS, SORESNESS,. 😢😢😢😢😢

[@huyhritter1724]

Thanks to this channel's guidance, I've simplified my finances, gained control, and now earn a significant $33,000+ weekly. This clarity brings me peace, freedom, and confidence to live intentionally.

[@KuramaUchiha-id1ow]

Massive! Been trying to trade on my own for a while now, but it isn't going well. few months ago I lost about $8,500 in the trade. Can you please at least advise me on what to do?

[@huyhritter1724]

@@KuramaUchiha-id1owMaria Angelina Alexander I really appreciate her efforts and transparency.

[@huyhritter1724]

Giving her my initial savings of $12,000 to invest in a brokerage account was a turning point in my life. It's been an incredibly rewarding experience and the best decision I ever made!

[@amalmberg13]

This is a definition of God's unending provisions for his people. God remains faithful to his words. I receive this for my household.🙏

[@JoanneBrookes]

One key to successful investing is acknowledging that ups and downs are part of the journey. No investment is guaranteed to succeed all the time; instead, it’s about managing risk and capitalizing on opportunities. The goal is to achieve a higher rate of return than the losses incurred, which often means maintaining a long-term perspective and not being swayed by short-term fluctuations.

[@lovedove2661]

What does she mean by cortisol. I noticed that every time I get into a relationship, I put on weight. Why? I dont eat more.

[@LisaBilyeu]

I actually JUST did an interview that I released last week that literally explains this in detail. It with the guest Dr Cassie Means. It’s so good and explains it all! Hope that helps! 🙌

[@lovedove2661]

@@LisaBilyeu Thank you heading there now.

[@shellshelly5552]

Ohhhhhhh right On!!!!!!!!

[@elephantintheroom5678]

Wow, she really knows how to present herself very well. I wish I was as skilled at that.

[@yesyoga]

Such valuable information. Thank you! 👏🏼✅

[@donatabur2721]

Very helpful ❤Thanks ❤

[@junelledembroski9183]

Awww crap. This is me

[@KarenWorthinton]

Oh girl it hit me in the first sentence out of her mouth-so more information for me to heal & you!

[@SherriFlemming]

Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

[@SherriFlemming]

Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Without Conscience by Robert D Hare Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

Thank you so much for this conversation 😊

[@WildAntics13]

After the French viral story ! Married and he’s using her wife for her own pleasures! I don’t think im convinced more than ever that men can love! Even the good guy can betrayed! Men can keep secrets unlike women!

[@SherriFlemming]

Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Know yourself and your attachment style. Sam Vaknin has educational podcasts. Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) The dating pool has a high population of avoidant attachments. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud

[@WildAntics13]

@@SherriFlemming no matter what they say about attachment a lot of men can’t really love women they openly admit on that! I read books about psyche of men! Even your husbands is the most dangerous man in your life! And women is so delusional about love and attachment! Evil exists! Even in the most good loving Christian man i know! If women can’t accept that truth we will always fall for these men! Who literally just using women. Do you think your husband will invest time money on you and provide for you. If you’re no good for him! ???? Read the book what men don’t want you to know! And you will see. That their brain is literally different from women! Even attachment don’t grow on them unless you’re useful for them! these married women still think of fairy tales when the truth is those husbands will betrayed given the right circumstances! No wonder God made Eve because he knows these men can’t be trusted with his creation! They literally destroyed our planet

[@SherriFlemming]

Men That Can't Love by Stephen A Carter Without Conscience by Robert D Hare The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker,🌞 Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Facing Codependency by Pia Melody Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren I Hear You by Michael Sorenson Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk Toxic Parents by Susan Forward

[@ExecutiveZombie]

Thank you Terry Cole. 🙏🏽Fantastic necklace. 🫡

[@islandgirlxx3465]

I was mesmerized by her necklace and aura✨

[@ExecutiveZombie]

@@islandgirlxx3465 Me too. 🤩

[@tanyadepoalo4312]

I relate to this very much

[@reneehaynes8289]

If he's breathing he's using you 😂

[@SherriFlemming]

Know yourself and your attachment style. Ken Reid clinician has informative podcasts on attachment styles. Commitment Phobia Explained Men That Can't Love Animated podcast ( avoidant attachment) There is a large population of avoidant attachments in the dating pool. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me? by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? by Jonathon Aslay Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix- Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin I Hear You by Michael Singer Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud

[@kimberley1235]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@trudiegordon6327]

What is this lady's name she is incredible. She has nailed it.

[@oliviasmit2657]

Terri Cole !!

[@Samantha-gm8kv]

Good to onow its codependency in some dituations, but also alot of the peiple who deal with this afe just normal attachment that get caught in a web pf confusion because they wpildnt do that to someone. Sometimes knowing theres nothing wrong with you is a good way to break free. Not yet another thing that needs to be fixed to make the relationship work ..."oh if i wasnt so codependant fhe relationship will ne better." Dont fool for it, accept and grow. Yes descern red flags, but its not your fault, you were tricked and you simply didnt know. We sre all codependant for survival in a way, we love our pwrtner that makes us attached to them, that in anyway is codependant. Not disagreeing with this lady just pointing out its not you at the same time. Its good to know how quixkly you can get attached. You need your own vision and schedule so you can easily srt boundaries and aay no to things.

[@mercychemomenyi1231]

Timely, thanks Lisa.

[@AddieTerriri]

read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.

[@woboznz]

@@AddieTerriri like what?

[@laura-zo4ry]

​@@woboznzthese are bot comments, ignore

[@alcudiababe1]

I'd actually be quite mad at someone who's trying to people please with someone I don't get along with because it would take a lot from me to have nothing to do with another person in the past, or for me now having strong boundaries for behaviours im not going to stand. That people pleaser would come across to me as a flying monkey and getting involved in something they ought to leave well alone. If they started saying, "but so and so didn't mean it. You know what they're like..." I'd feel upset shocked they're taking that other persons side who I'm not talking to and I'd have to really consider someone who's trying to get in the middle of us as someone who I want to spend less time with because I know I can't change their mind if they want something to do with this other person. I might say they've pushed me too far and to leave it. This is where these people pleasers resemble a snake in the grass. The way I'd see it as you're either on my side or not, but I'm not going to waste my energy on someone trying to convince you someone is awful because they're obviously going to go back to them and then I'd have it my head they're going to be gossiping about me. I can even understand the people pleaser dynamic and the desire for people to get a long and want to be friends with everyone but if someone has done you wrong or done your best mate wrong why would you even want to be associated with that person? I'm very selective when it comes to obtaining a new friend. If they upset certain people who are my true friends or my husband, it's an immediate deal breaker.