10 Antisocial Behaviors and the Thoughts that Cause Them | Antisocial Personality Disorder

[@ReturnOfTheJ.D.]

I just stumbled across this by sheer chance when I randomly typed in the Search field "scientifically informed, insider look, at mental health topics".

[@erikl4821]

OMG! Me too!

[@PrivateAckbar]

This is an amazing video.

[@cozykodie49]

And that's exactly the intro lol 😆 That's awesome!

[@chandlerlowell2224]

@@erikl4821 do

[@carolyntirado2159]

So funny

[@NimbusDX]

I really like these “thoughts and beliefs tied to behaviors” videos. I also like how you show how even though two people may be exhibiting the same behavior, the thought/belief motivating the behavior can be very different for different disorders.

[@mrsdrhux]

NimbusDX I absolutely agree, it’s helping me see the wood for trees in my discovery of learning more about my son. X

[@moria237950]

such an important factor the behaviorists don't think it matters...I wish the DSM could be less behavioristic and pay more attention to the pathology's inner world...

[@josephcoon5809]

Like the disorder that drives the belief that words have power?

[@brentwilbur]

Something I appreciate about you, Doctor, is that instead of looking _at_ the camera, you look _through_ the camera at the person watching the video. It's a powerful tool for communicating in this kind of pre-recorded fashion.

[@bertzerker747]

Definately Brent, he wouldn't be connecting if he wasn't connecting is how I'd put it. His delivery is confined to being astute. I like some of his older publications, where he is wearing pajamas that kind of look Ming Dynasty... 🤭 Really, these ones seam somewhat 'surrealistic' yet the content is more explicit than when doing any of the reviews on some poor or unforunates. These are the ones that present to us 'game changers'. 🙏

[@bertzerker747]

@@BB-wm4ti his mind boggles with hints of refrain while he clearly projects his true interest with the well formulated message and nuances that he has constructed to convey. That brain deeply relies on all the sustenance it craves for. I hope he has high helpings of gamma.

[@brentwilbur]

@Manek Iridius - I can definitely see where you're coming from. I think the good doctor is using outlines instead of extensive scripts, and speaks in a mildly extemporaneous fashion The fact that he remembers so much from cues is extraordinary... assuming I'm correct in his method.

[@mistyisland343]

That's right Brent, he's looking at the deepest corners of our being, laden with cob webs. Better do some spring cleaning before Dr. Todd tracks us down and pries us open with a crowbar !

[@danbyers8862]

Amen

[@provethioaltum3276]

Im a bit of a narcissist it takes a lot to admit this but im getting better thanks to your videos Dr Grande. I used to think the world revolved around me and that i was such a gift to the world. Ive learned alot these past months and also dealing with gain and loss teaches you humility.. I hope to let go of these traits that have gotten me nothing in these past 6 years

[@HankiMaus]

Would love to know how your doing right now... one year after your comment. Hope you were able to let go of these traits you didn‘t like.🤗

[@sallygarlick4293]

You are brave and your courage will help you immeasurably.

[@dmitryasadov9319]

I actually want to be able to feel like you used to)) I was on the opposing side of disorder )

[@josephcoon5809]

Everybody is a narcissist. Nobody does anything “selflessly.” People just tend to make judgments relative to other people. Even if you “sacrifice” something, it is done based on a personal value system. So, stop fighting your narcissism because it is pointless. Instead rise above it and understand how you can use the innate motivations of your narcissism to contribute to the world around you. Everything you do is driven by personal biases, what those biases are associated with is programmable. That’s what the complexity of the cerebrum is for. Your lizard brain processes emotions, however, it relies on your cerebrum to inform it what is to have emotional values and what to be motivate toward or away from.

[@josephcoon5809]

@@dmitryasadov9319 If you learned how to use a language, you can learn to adjust what motivates you. That is what CBT is: studying your motivations and mastering them.

[@lewisletthedogsout9020]

I finally gained access to my diagnosis history, as Im getting back into psych treatment, and found that I was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, but was never made aware of it previously. In researching ODD, I have found that if left untreated it can manifest into ASPD. Mine was left untreated. The more I study ASPD, the more it explains a lot of my feelings, reactions and life. I think I am going to seek a diagnosis to have better access to treatment. I am so tired of only feeling rage and depression, I would like to be able to not act so impulsively all the time too.

[@BartMesser-n1c]

Conduct disorder often comes in the middle

[@malna-malna]

best of luck to you! someone dear to me was diagnosed with ASPD. and while a lot of what has been discussed in this vid applies to him, doesn't change a fact that he's a wonderful person and I wish he would find peace and happiness.

[@kenzie9501]

Yes.. I can definitely relate to this. Lying, manipulating, due to environmental factors and seeing that when I was younger, that is what I learned and thought that is what I needed to do to in order to be successful and get ahead in life. Extremely damaging thinking... But over the years, I realized it wasn't benefitting me at all, I saw the damage and pain I was causing the people closest to me.. (even though I didn't care as much as I should, I knew it was wrong..) and I was really conflicted and changed. Change is possible :) but it has to come from within on a visceral level. I hate that I have done some unforgivable things. I have repented for years and finally am forgiving myself because that in turn caused more suffering and problems in other ways. Thanks for the informative videos.

[@countryhippiechick4466]

I am a bit late to a comment here, but I just want you to know that you ARE forgiven. You have been forgiven by God's grace. You just need to forgive yourself. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. Trust me, I know. Your comment resonated within me. I can relate... Forgive yourself and set yourself FREE. 💜✌️

[@anna8328]

Have you tried to fix the worst of damage? Do something to make it up to people you hurt?

[@Titbitist]

Blaming others right away haha…

[@Zach.3246]

@@TitbitistThat’s where they come from, moron.

[@ZappyOh]

I love working completely without contact to anybody. Makes me very efficient, and allows me to not think about personal appearance. To me, that is a kind of luxury.

[@ZappyOh]

@islanti ... 15:03

[@MsPuff-ly4gt]

I was recently diagnosed with this and even in my early childhood moments I can remember red flags and now it all makes sense even my first grade teacher told my mother to watch me closely it all just makes sense now

[@Sissyphussy]

hey hope you're ok and learning about yourself after diagnosis. I'm thinking exactly the same thing about being younger actually...I even remember overheating my mum saying she didn't feel safe with me sharing a room with my little sister...id NEVER / have never planned anything like that. but still. makes me wonder how I was being viewed and what those red flags were. if you don't mind sharing - what were those red flags???

[@walterwelling6734]

I used to be very kind, empathetic, fair, attentive, sensitive and caring. As an adult, I learned by pain that the world is a hostile place for me, most times. I consciously became more like the aspd -type. Worked well, now a lot less pain, could even say none at all. Every time I try to introduce the good personality back, I get poorly hidden social backlash and seem to lose respect from others

[@markthomas4083]

I feel you Walter!

[@dinatarkteruz]

Yes, exactly this. Stay frosty 🧊

[@daveraven4044]

You are not alone. I work and live alone by choice after a 23 year marriage that ended in divorce. Been divorced 13 years .Im still cordial and have aquaintences but the few friends i have are passing. In general, the only time i get a phone call is when somebody wants something.

[@brittneyking4284]

@@daveraven4044I’m so sorry! People are always looking for what they can take from others instead of wanting a genuine relationship. I’ve lost so many friends throughout high school but hopefully I can find some in college. I wish you well!

[@mariamarks995]

Try merging them. Bros gonna conquer empires

[@necurrence1776]

Individuals tend to copy the environment they were brought up in. My parents are not social individuals. I had a hard time discovering why it feels awkward and exhausting for me to be in social situations. I always questioned people who want to befriend me, given that I'm not a peoples' person. But the few friends that I have are similar to me and they mean the world for me, because they understand.

[@anna8328]

Issue with personality disorder is that people who comitt criminal acts psychopathic people can be born into most nurturing families and it doesn't matter. That's the difference between normal criminals and psychopaths. You are right that people learn from their environment but the issue with sociopaths and psychopaths is that it doesn't apply to them.

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

@@anna8328 sociopaths are made, psychopaths are born

[@Loriburnett]

I am living with a narcissistic sociopath and I need help please.

[@slimshany4602]

@@anna8328 no this is not true. This doctor Grande also explained research on this in another video. So this is your own idea of it.

[@LisaWhynot-r8l]

The environment is Not your "problem" or ... the challenge for you is (very highly likely) that you and your parents are on the autism spectrum. It is genetically linked/inherited. People with autism very often (almost always) struggle with "social communication" and therefore often have very dissatisfying experiences in social settings. If you're not aware of any autism diagnoses it is likely that you and family are what used to be called "high-functioning" autism , where you have leqrned the ability to "mask" the signs of "obvious autism" when in contact with other people. It is a very difficult situation to explain in a small comment text. But possibly look into that.. and all of the best. Dealing with autism in your life Sucks.. i know, because... i just know ;)

[@Marella2024]

It's amazing how many of these characteristics fit with a narcissist that I know. Thank you for this clarification because we have always been led to believe that antisocial behavior was just not wanting a be around people. However, this video taught me that it's so much deeper than that.

[@hamstrungharry259]

No no, what you're thinking is asocial behavior. What we consider the modern vernacular of Antisocial behavior is incorrect. Antisocial means against society. Which means violent or criminal behavior.

[@Marella2024]

@@hamstrungharry259 Thank you for that explanation. 👍😊

[@jennleiker1823]

You don't know how much you're helping people with this depth of explanation. Thank you.

[@nicoleoakley2751]

This is so insightful. No remorse, no plans for changing, and always l no pre concerned with getting caught instead of just doing the right thing in the first place. Unfair rules do not need to be followed.

[@pennywisethedancingclown4024]

I dated a diagnosed ASPD. I have diagnosed BPD and wow, was that a trip. But the overlap in Cluster B symptomatology is so strong that for a while, I thought he was BPD as well. The sad part is that he wasn’t receiving treatment for it while I’m receiving treatment for my personality disorder. Needless to say, it didn’t end well.

[@bpsc9882]

Skill based matchmaking

[@Bacinator334]

😂😂😂 ​@@bpsc9882

[@ClaireJ89]

My mother has BPD. I love that someone with BPD let loose on someone with ASPD. Good for you! I wish I could hear your stories and laugh with you. I've seen my mom let loose when she was cycling from BPD. I hope you made the ASPD person think twice about coming after you. 💪👑

[@tdesq.2463]

The Victim should apologize to Me (the Attacker). I can understand on a purely abstract, intellectual level that some may truly think that way. But my cognitive empathy hits a brick wall. Maybe that limitation of mine isn't such a bad thing. Great Presentation yet again, Doctor Grande! Quite an education in every installment. Thank You!

[@yourenough3]

I am not grandiose. I may have been in my earlier years but I do believe I am vulnerable / bpd. As long as I'm not in a relationship I do much better. I can focus on my daughter and really be vigilant and help her to not be disordered in her adult years I've read all of tom bradshaws books and pete walker s books and I'm watching these videos . Going on 7 years without a relationship and I am doing better than I ever have.

[@jboom1085]

Keep pushing 👏🏾

[@we8608]

Exactly! These people are insane!

[@MrLuigiFercotti]

Very few people that have PDs ever face it, the defenses won't allow it. So give yourself credit and love for stepping back from the edge.

[@pamctshll]

I have been single for 16 years I've learned that I am incapable of being in a relationship because I am the common denominator in why it never works. I am content and happy in my life now.

[@kristinehorn9099]

@@pamctshll It has been since 2006 for me and prior to that there were long term toxic relationships. I am happier and more successful now yet still long to have a companionship and good things relationship should bring. When I read your comment it hit me in the feelers🥲. I have not surrendered to the truth yet; the truth being I will never be happy in a serious monogamous relationship. How does one get to the point of accepting this?

[@TFrills]

Love your videos, Todd. I watch a new one every morning before work (before dealing with a company full of manipulative sociopaths, covert, and overt narcissists).

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Get out

[@zigmondbonez9411]

Wow Doc, very articulate and on point. I'd love to hear you talk about ASPD with occasional waves of short-lived empathy

[@faithevolution552]

BPD and bipolar. I was out of control, reactionary, and impulsive until I was put on mood stabilizers..Lithium and Lamotrigine, plus anti-depressants and anxiety meds... And everyone said "Thank God". But this video has enlightened me to my motivating thought processes as a person with borderline pd.

[@sad_doggo2504]

From what I've noticed, people do use "I can't help it" or "that's just how I am" to deflect. If you can get someone to admit to even the possibility for more complex reasons for their behavior, consider that a metric of progress.

[@t5396]

Dr. Grande: what kind of hope is there for people with personality disorders to get better, assuming they want to? What can they do to get better? What kind of rate of success is there for treating personality disorders, cluster B disorders specifically? I really appreciate the time you take to make these videos and answer requests.

[@conniethingstad1070]

dealing with way too many of them in my life, they don't want to get better often because it's not them with the problem, it's other people who have a problem. My step son did get help (he had no choice as I was the parent!) and he is fine at 32 yrs old. His father, one that will never seek help cuz he is just fine will never get better. It's a long difficult process of retraining the thinking and behavior patterns. It's possible but they have to want it.

[@raisinlungs2092]

Usually people who have anti social personality or narcissistic personality wont ever get help because they dont believe anything is wrong with them. They often get help in jail or are forced to see a psychiatrist by the court. Its almost impossible to help someone with anti social personality as they will only try to manipulate the psychiatrist into believing that they are okay

[@t5396]

@@conniethingstad1070 I understand your point, but I am asking the question supposing the person who has a personality disorder wants help.

[@t5396]

@@raisinlungs2092 I understand your point, but I am asking the question supposing the person who has a personality disorder wants help.

[@conniethingstad1070]

@@t5396 it's possible, it's unlikely they will come to the conclusion they need help. my stepson is proof it's possible but years and years of being one way, thinking incorrectly for so long, it's going to be a long hard course but I believe it is possible.

[@40nights40daystv]

Most people copy the environment they grow up in. I struggle with these feelings as well because I come from a very strict, unpredictable, alcoholic, religious, and emotionally abusive household, all while maintaining the perfect “Flanders” family. I harbor a lot of rage for my parents and the way they treated me, and gas lit me into thinking I was never good enough. It manifested in complete distrust in people, compulsive lying, womanizing, and a deep hell hole of craving validation. I’m 26 now, have great friends, hobbies, and a partner that I love and loves me. It took a long time to figure out why I had no personality, no friends, and 0 direction in life. I think the most important first step to coming out of the ASPD cloud is being honest about your environment, do you like it or hate it? Then Understand that changing your environment will change your mindset. Also I’m not even joking magic mushrooms really helped me dismantle my necrotic and abusive ego. Obviously I don’t condone it’s use unless directed by a healthcare practitioner but it’s what really helped me break my toxic thought patterns Dr. G talks about.

[@eula5261]

I came here for educational purposes, but i actually recognised every single one of them in myself. I'm not completely ignorant, so of course i considered multipe possibilities when i realised, on an intellectual level, that some of my behaviours and thought processes are quite different from people around me. But i believe self-diagnosing is a thing that should in no case be done seriously and with (unhealthy) conviction and when i first stumbled upon the Term "Aspd" i kinda crossed it out because there were a lot of criteria i met, but also some that i really don't. I've actually read a whole lot about it but this video really suprised me, as i never found something so well explained. Thank you, Dr. Grande, this was in fact, an interesting video. I'll definitely subscribe

[@toss_the_blade_subliminals4923]

Same

[@tatrotzz3643]

If you really have every single one of these behaviours then its likely that you have aspd. You should get it checked out

[@terhisomersalo8588]

It could be a combo or tendencies without it being a disorder. But not everyone can afford getting a dg or therapy that would help with daily interactions and decision making so self diagnosis shouldn't either be an idea that gets shunned. After all if there is no reason to see a doctor no one goes to one either.

[@dreia29]

The last person I dated drained me emotionally and mentally. He owed me some money. Never paid a cent. He's a charmer, love bombs, but he seems to be emotionless. Leaves without a word. Never cared about how I feel. I'm not sure if he's a narcissist or an antisocial.

[@vladimirrakitic5029]

Ты ему морду набил хоть?

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

The world is a hostile place that is literally out to get you. How could anyone not see that

[@soioioioioioio34]

this guy can't he's got his hair cut way up his ass. he's an ass hat.

[@blueblaze9862]

You have to be strong

[@xxstormxx56]

​@@blueblaze9862 what.about people killing you then good riddance

[@faithevolution552]

You have to be smart and this video is helping to even the playing field.

[@Patrick-ld8wy]

​@@blueblaze9862when your not strong enough bad things happen let me explain fight flight or PTSD and if you've been exposed to traumatic stress frequently you adapt to shitty environment and you lose your consciousness

[@LaMaestra2102]

Thank you, Dr. Grande. I bet you've saved lives in your day. Information/knowledge is the first step to logic and common sense. :)

[@steef4000000]

some of these thoughts resonated with me. wondering if I am the only one? the thought about remorse resonated the most the one "why do I need to feel remorse towards him when nobody ever felt remorse towards me" but I don't ever act on those thoughts because if everyone acts on those thoughts society would break down, and that's also the best way to think about the effect of certain behaviors, how would the world look and how would I feel if everyone did that.

[@pormatipid.5959]

I have the same mindset as well, if I gave someone who I have given many chances to change and they stubbornly for whatever reasons dont change and continue to disrespect me I will have no remorse, In fact thats the mindset I see quiet often to those people who had suffered traumas. because man, you need to respect yourself as well and dont forgive people who dont deserve to be forgiven. because people dont respect an overly upright man (a crowdpleaser or a seemingly gullible one or just inflexible) you have to be shitty sometimes to show that youre standing on the right path and you wont bend on their play of dominance/manipulation.

[@samm0704]

Thank you for this! I’ve never had hope with my almost 15yr old son until I heard this. Now hopefully someone can start helping him better and help us better understand him.

[@camuscat123]

That was fantastic! All of those scenarios are daily occurrences at work...sad but true. In addition, your glass frames perfectly coordinate with your shirt! So, the video was well integrated in a visual sense and according to content and structure. Thank you!!!!!!

[@LegalAlien100]

I was diagnosed with ASPD after seeking help for PTSD. I have been very lucky so far and have not been caught when it come to my criminal behaviours. The part where you mentioned getting enjoyment out of fighting or being around fights is really true. I would often instigate fights or arguments just for enjoyment. Or if someone has slighted me, I would damage their property in retaliation. I justify it (even now) that as I would only engage and hurt those that started on me first, even if the response was disproportionate, then they deserved it. Since receiving help, I realise that I can’t go around like this, even though I feel no guilt over it. It is hard to control and always will be I assume but my motivation is driven by the fact that I don’t want to end up in jail. The reality of it is, I don’t feel that I have done anything wrong, they brought it on themselves, but I know that societally it is wrong and its in my interests to control that behaviour.

[@elisamastromarino7123]

I love the "thoughts" version you give of these disorders. It makes it easier to know what to look for. 😄😉 It's true! This one seems similar to narcissistic personality disorder with the main theme being _dont put me out in any way or I'll punish you"_ . Thank you, Dr Grande. 🌹👍

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

You're gorgeous 😍

[@k_dee9168]

I think sometimes it's hard to separate personality disorders... I'm a Cluster B (except histrionic), which is really hard, because it's like I have more than one personality and it depends on the situation and on my psychological stability which part is in charge. I guess only people with that problem are able to understand that. It's hard to explain...

[@birdlover6842]

It is now believed that histrionic pd may not even exist. It is almost unheard of too.

[@caringheart34]

​@@birdlover6842 It does, but it's so majorly undiagnosed and understudied that people think it doesn't exist.

[@yourenough3]

You have no idea how much these types of videos are helping me accept what I cannot change and to accept what is. I dont want to believe I am a borderline and bipolar but you know what I am what I am and as long as I am working on myself and I am aware of what is wrong with me. Yes I could try and label myself with cptsd ( because somewhere in my brain I feel that sounds better ) I may have cptsd ontop of borderline and bipolar and I feel and have really come to grips I will be single for the rest of my life and I'm ok with that. Thanks Dr. Todd Grande. 👍💖 never stop giving up and things will work.

[@moinmoin1293]

Wow, I started watching with less than 100k subs and now you have grown so much! Your consistency and hard work seems to pay off. I hope you make at least good money for your free great content.

[@chawtak3r39]

I endure BPD, I have to say that it’s extremely important if you want to get better to be willing to make sacrifices. I have many drug addiction issues and impulsivity issues. I got into a bit of legal trouble about 5 years ago. I had one probation violation on a Class D non violent offense and asked my attorney if there were any way I could get help through the court by getting a long term court order in a psychiatric facility. I was at an end. Unsurprisingly they just don’t do that sort of thing but he said he was positive Id get another chance with probation if I wanted. I knew it’d do me no good and I’d probably die. I chose to go to prison after he said it was the place to go if I needed help. It was the biggest step I ever took and I still don’t regret it. I declined parole 2 times and did my full 19 months out of 5 years. It was my first and only time going to prison. I learned alot about myself there. I was given time and space to work things through in my mind. The thing is, I got better in alot of ways. Even after I started using substances again, its never gotten as bad as it was before. I have value in myself. I struggle but haven’t given up like I tried to do every time before. It’s been 5 years since the last intentionally reckless action. I stopped hurting myself. Intentionally I mean. Of course it’s still hard. Life is hard period. But I know thats normal nor for everybody. There is no cure all. Once I began making sacrifices in my life, uncomfortable ones, things did improve beyond what I ever thought. Rewiring the way I think is not easy but I know I can change now and I know emotion is temporary and actions are not. Just figured I’d throw in my two cents. Thanks for your videos and hopefully this gets read and processed and helps somebody.

[@meganeff]

Thank you! I’ve been trying to articulate this into a video but have struggled! This is so good & has definitely inspired a video for me! My boyfriend has ASPD, and now I have clearer examples between his old behaviors and more recent behaviors. He has been working on himself ever since he went to prison in 2011. He still exhibits antisocial behaviors, but they are more mild in comparison now. Think riding his bike on private property now vs breaking into cars for fun 10+ years ago.

[@ourcollectiveinsanity]

and you still date the same guy? good luck...

[@inkslaboratory3010]

Damn, that's a huge ass difference.

[@littlelily4]

You are so strong And such a nice woman I met one once I think if I met him again I would have a feeling of disgust. He doesn't want to go to therapy

[@denamullen340]

Can you do a video on how children growing up with both parents in active addiction can develop into mental problems such as....? With the last couple of decades being over prescribed opiods and benzos this is very relevant and many young adults are now affected by this upbringing. Seeing parents falling asleep in their food, ect.

[@ourcollectiveinsanity]

Fantastic video with very interesting examples, the more Dr. Grande videos i watch, the easier it gets to figure out the different percentages of personality traits of the people in my surroundings and what may be the possible causes for certain behaviors, fascinating to say the least, thank you Dr.Grande for another enlightening video.

[@coletrain6545]

The "i need a cigarette to settle me down/control me" and the "if manipulation doesn't work get violent" describes my mom so so well

[@ok-py6sv]

2:04 , no mediating thought process and going from the stressor to the behavior is important for sure in understanding antisocial behavior. The thing is, pwASPD often behave that way to cope with immense amounts of stress and trauma as a way of self-soothing, the main difference between that and the self-soothing in NPD or BPD being that the antisocial doesn’t have to worry about external validation or being abandoned by their source of said validation, or maybe they do but not to the same degree at all. Most narcissistic and borderline people are neurotypical or ADHD, it seems like antisocial personalities are driven by something a bit more primal and impulse driven. BPD has impulsivity, anger and often antisocial behavior or traits, NPD is callous/unemotional and has the entitlement/rage cycle but both have inhibitions and restraint that antisocials, sociopaths and psychopaths just don’t have.

[@JohnnyLee-x7q]

Thanks, Todd. i am diagnosed with ASPD, autism, and a few other disorders. I do, however believe I have more than one PD. I am a complicated individual, but I do have very strong empathy at times and intense feelings of guilt. I think I manipulate people without realising sometimes, but I am very honest. I live life on both ends of extreme.

[@mikelobrien]

It's always an education watching your videos, Dr. Grande. I found many of the examples in this video quite startling, as they're commonly expressed in comments made by "friends" on social media ~ there's that same sense of entitlement and lack of civility and personal insight. Rather frightening to think we live in a time and culture that allows these behaviors to appear "normal." Looking forward to your next talk!

[@anyonecansee4601]

ASPD behaviors 1. Bragging about a successful crime committed, enjoys reliving it, seeks admiration 2. Aggression all too happy to attack you given a slight reason 3. Getting caught is more upsetting than the act and no remorse 4. Disbelief in getting caught 5. No remorse idea of lone warrior in bad world, or victim deserved being attacked. 6. Thinks people can be easily fooled. If manipulation doesnt work can resort to aggression. 7. The truth is what you make it. Strong belief in their talent for deception. 8. Grudge holding 9. Behavior justifying 10. Appeal to fairness unrealistic evaluation of self

[@rajbhattacharya4427]

I have been diagnosed with this disorder since I was a teenager. I don't have any issue and I wish people would stop labeling others with things that, to be sincere, we really just don't understand, such as this "condition". Life throws you lemons. You don't make lemonade. You throw the lemons back. And when they make that lemonade, you take it from them. Double win. It's not a matter of being antisocial, rather its a matter of being your own form of preservative.

[@eminencegrise1061]

That last part was...poetically creative. Wow.

[@katarinailic1095]

I'm so fucking jealous of you 😭🤬

[@tonrobert3391]

With all do respect I think you should Speak for yourself & own experience as it relates to the disorder people these disorders have ruined many peoples lives and has caused them to commit suicide

[@Marcelube]

These behaviors and thoughts videos are the best. They go straight to the point and help us understand what we many times would think to be... unbelievable, let alone understandable.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Hahaha, I'm not a narcissist, yet this time the person, who wished this topic, was ME.🙂 Didn't expect you to be sooo fast with it. Thank you so very much.🌹🌹🌹

[@pocoeagle2]

Lucky you Esther 😃

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

@@pocoeagle2 Thank you Ben. Have you found your champagne glasses? 😊

[@pocoeagle2]

No, I can't find them....lol. Don't worry Esther, we still have 2K in time to find the glasses, but it's going fast with our Dr. Have a nice day 😃

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

@@pocoeagle2 Hahaha, same to you!😊

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

@@LuciaInman lol...Don't rush him, Lucia. 😉 He's already panicing..."...damn, where are they...????" 😄

[@friendofbeaver6636]

I worked for 7 years at a correctional facility using the Cognitive Behavioral Treatment modality with convicted felons. I heard every one of these thought patterns from residents as reasons for committing property crimes, selling and using drugs, domestic violence, delinquent child-support, etc.

[@frederickcombs8661]

These videos help me realize how messed up I am and why.

[@jesslee7985]

Another insightful video, Dr. Grande! My psych professor told me that a violent woman would be more likely to be diagnosed with BPD, whereas a violent man with AsPD. Could you elaborate on the sex differences of these disorders in a video?

[@mattg7952]

The good Dr. has already covered the topic. My personal opinion is that it's not socially acceptable to label a female with aspd.

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

@@mattg7952 but they're out there. For instance my step daughter defended scammers because that's her behavior.

[@galedivaris6487]

Thanks Doctor Grande. I wonder if you could do the Ristevski case, that was committed in Australia. I find this case intriguing; it would be good to hear your analysis. Thanks again Dr.

[@dasein9980]

Thanks, Dr. Grande. Would it be possible to do a video outlining the differences between ASPD and sociopathy (and possibly psychopathy), why there are different kinds of diagnoses, and how they differ in terms of symptoms/behaviors and treatment? Much love! Your videos are tops!

[@willywanker5866]

That is a great video idea!

[@MrPrush-ji4gs]

there is no such thing as a diagnosis “psychopath or sociopath” the diagnosis is ASPD and those with it are sociopathic or psychopathic.

[@tastx3142]

@@MrPrush-ji4gsThank you!

[@BaDAiR647]

Thanks Dr. Grande. I enjoy your clinical perspective. Even more so, the temperament of your voice and delivery. Very easy to listen too and recieve. Take care.

[@blurrylights6344]

Edited for typos. Just out of my own curiosity, after watching this video, I watched a portion of the Anthony Pardon death penalty trial that just ended yesterday. The part where he was allowed to speak directly to the jury without being cross-examined. I guess that's allowed in Ohio. He spoke for about 15 minutes and based on my lay opinion, explicitly hit 1 through 8 and 10 of each of your examples of the type of thinking for this personality disorder. 9 was shown from testimony of the crime. He especially hammered on 5: "Everyone failed me." With tears too. And not one word or even a hint of remorse for his horrific crimes. Wow...that was something...watching the accuracy of each of your points and all of them at once! He was sentenced to life without parole. One part, among others, that stuck out to me was when he said to the jurors "I wish we could've met under different circumstances." He is a burglar, rapist and a murderer! Prior to this charge he'd done 35 years in prison. I can only imagine what went through the jurors minds when he said that. Thank you for another fine and very informative video Dr. Grande. You are appreciated.

[@DPtheOG]

It's now almost 2025, and this is still one of the best videos addressing this question.

[@snowstormonsat]

My sociopathic father lied all the time. He thought of me as stupid, weak, and foolish for being truthful. He thought everyone lies, why would I be truthful. He yelled at me because I wouldn't lie on my resume. He said everyone lies, and he thought I was pathetic.

[@Andromeda_M31]

A lot of people do to get ahead unfortunately but many of those same people end in in jail or getting sued. It makes sense not to lie, if for no other reason than to live in peace. He has terrible advice. I don't know why he would get mad at you regarding your resume. Seems a bit controlling. I wouldn't share anything with him. Maybe start lying to him instead, everyone does it right? :)

[@geneharrogate6911]

I've been binge listening (in a non compulsive way...) since stumbling upon your channel a few day ago Doc. I'm finding your breakdown of public figures, in particular, criminals, fascinating. Once their behaviors are isolated assessed in a more clinical sense, their, in some cases, romanticized public personas, simply crumble and we're left with very ordinary, yet tragic and deeply disturbed individuals. Pity (or not) Anton Chigurh was only a fictitious character..

[@charlesje1966]

I like episodes where you clarify the outward behavior, the inner thoughts, and compare how it looks with different conditions.

[@terhisomersalo8588]

Interesting insight. What bothered me a bit was the lack of mention that aspd dg doesn't guarantee sadism. Collateral damage - which can be serious ngl - doesn't mean they intend to hurt just for enjoyment. Seeking a feeling constantly bc of the constant boredom and acting out without realising the consequences first and acting accordingly would be aspd. But sadism would be acting on it because the enjoyment of the suffering you cause.

[@privateprivate8366]

Although I’m my family dynamic, I would be considered, perhaps, the most-well adjusted, I have a lot of these thoughts, with the main exception being that I generally like to live in solitude. It has been forced upon me by the circumstances of life but, sometimes, you learn to embrace what you can’t seem to effectively change. So, as a result, there’s nothing I like better than to not be at work and, instead, be at home with my cats. Other than needing to earn a living to pay for life’s expenses, I would choose to spend about 2 days per year with most people as, I don’t feel it is productive time anyway. I feel that the girl who is told to get a job by her parents does actually have a bit of a point, if her parents did not enforce that upon her brother. Something is wrong with her parents. I know I would chose to be in a job where I have very little interaction with people because a lot of workplaces are a stewpot for narcissism and other interpersonal issues and I do not, at all, have a taste for having to involve myself in them, merely because I need to pay bills. Most would say, “Oh, you can’t cope?” Is coping what I should be doing or should I be working to earn a living? Also, we go is the psychological authority on whether or not I should cope? Certainly no one I’ve ever worked for. For the majority of managers, while I try to respect that they may have enough experience to handle some of the aspects of their position, most often, managing people isn’t one of them and, quite often, they have no training in the management of people and are no more success at managing people, than they would be at hoarding cats. Like parents, they are tasked with managing people and experience isn’t necessarily a qualifier.

[@amarieg5]

Great video! The nuisance in the thoughts really make a difference in the diagnosis!

[@thenobleone-3384]

Mental Health and that Psychology class got me learning this. Prior to me taking that class I didn't know anything about mental disorders.

[@simonevirdis27]

Thank you dr. Grande for all your work, the quality of the information you provide is always, and consistently, great

[@thewatcher8580]

Mr grande man! What's up man I used to listen to your videos when I worked overnights! Good stuff

[@tamuyarichards460]

I like Dr. Grande's vids very much. Yes, I have BPD from childhood. I also have traits of other personality disorders. Anyway, looking at myself and learning about my behavior is helpful. My insight has always been very good but I procrastinate putting anything into practice cause I'm a self saboteur.

[@gsafadi2]

Im really loving this series about thoughts in personality disorders. Great video Dr.Grande! 😆🖒

[@sina7051]

Great content. I will watch the whole channel slowly but surely. I love it when I get to explain why someone possesses a specific kind of behavior

[@andreacombs6092]

I really appreciate finding your videos right now. I have been through hell and just got out of it after 4yrs a week ago.. now I'm trying to heal which I'm finding difficult

[@cdorothy444]

Wow you have so many videos per week! Thank you for bringing psychology knowledge to us :)

[@btetschner]

I was a psychology minor way back, but I understand the system of the field much better after going through these videos.

[@nickinaceperry4443]

Animals hunt in packs. The dynamics of divide and conquer. The aggressive nature and also the examples that you gave are thought provoking

[@evelynwaugh4053]

Very interesting, great content as always. Although CBT offers many useful tools there is also evidence that many of our thoughts are essentially imaginative justifications for an emotional response created by our mid brain. That is, the emotion arises first, and then we rationalize it. This is true even of seemingly nonemotional issues. In essence our brains evolved in stages, so we have a brain comprised of 3 distinct evolutionary stages, which often have different priorities. Perhaps with ASPD there is less communication between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex, and the limbic system hijacks behavior? Obviously, there is ability to delay action, or people would commit crimes in the presence of LEOs, which they very rarely do. The inability to comprehend and apply odds, like the examples of gambling or denying the liklihood of being eventually arrested after committing a crime seems especially puzzling. Although perhaps many of us do this in behaviors without immediate negative consequences ( unhealthy eating habits, etc.).

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Hi Evelyn! Yeah, exactly that's how impulsivity works somatically. This hijacking of behavior done by the limbic system is behind many behavior styles that clinicians consider as 'disordered'. Great comment. 🙂🌞

[@LaMaestra2102]

And thank *you* Evelyn, for Brideshead Revisited! 😊

[@evelynwaugh4053]

@@LaMaestra2102 :) I am quite partial to his farce like The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold, Scoop, Black Mischielf, etc. His frequent dim view of our species always amuses me.

[@LaMaestra2102]

@@evelynwaugh4053 He was right. 😊

[@evelynwaugh4053]

@@LaMaestra2102 So true. One has to laugh to keep from crying.

[@DowntownTasty]

Keep up the good work, doc. I’ve told you before on other videos, you’re probably the only public psychology professional I respect due to the fact that you’re the only one who shows any true insight rather than just spit out the EXACT SAME THINGS others do. You will actually go in depth and teach and show understanding and I’m here for it! I HAVE ASPD (for anyone interested feel free to ASK ME ANYTHING) and right off the bat I can agree with you, doc. It’s weird, a lot of people don’t think of this but there’s actually this intense sense of optimism that comes with aspd that really makes you think nothings gonna happen, likely since I have managed to talk my way out of things many times. And cuz things have often worked out for me. (Or if things don’t work out... yup I’ll say I’ll be more careful rather than not to I’d next time) The “did something but then has to brag about it” many times I’m like “I need to just fly under the radar” but literally just CANT HELP MYSELF but to blab. And yeah sometimes it can be for intimidation factor/because just to see the look on their faces, or just so they think of me as a wild card (we love being unpredictable) and know not to take me for granted. Especially in work settings. Ugh. I have big sensation seeking issues. I almost wonder if there’s an ADHD kind of component to it. Even an addictive component. I’ve exhibited addictive behavior since before I ever did drugs. And oh god “the unfair rules” thing. ABSOLUTELY so many rules are just so dumb and it’s like dude get real come on these things are not a big deal and they take them so serious. As far as long term planning I think were ok with that. But short term not at all As far as “showing remorse” even if I don’t feel it if I’m in trouble I will ALWAYS pretend at least. I do know how to pick up on some social cues to benefit myself I think a big misconception is that we are actively looking to screw over others at all times. Like we are on constant “predator mode” rather a majority of the things we do/lie about is simply to make our lives easier. But people get caught up in the middle And omg the relationships... YUP I’ve many times went for men who are “normal/healthy” individuals. After all, they’ll be good to me, maybe balance me out, help me in life, and hey maybe I can even benefit and boss them around hehe. However, they could do/give me everything I want... showed me with affection and love....and do everything that a regular person would love, BUT I WILL GET BORED. Many times I’ve wished I could not get bored (any advice so I don’t die alone? Lol) and I’ve often felt stupid later and been like I could’ve been married... he’s so successful now, etc. I do however, often keep many of these men still somewhat attached as if I’m storing them for later. If I want them for something later I can call on them. I’m often told I put a spell on men or have a permanent effect on them. My favorite men are the ones who think they’re an “alpha male” but really I’m the alpha since I’m the brains between the two of us hehe. Omg the “UNFAIR RULES” so many rules are just dumb to me. And when people really get all worked up over some minor infraction I’ve apparently committed I’m just like... GET REAL! Be more laid back wtf who really cares about shit like that lol As far as perceived slights against me, yes I need to crush an enemy. If someone has done something to me I will go all out to get back at them. And will often rationalize my anger against someone. And the truth thing... YUP lol And yes.... LIFE IS ALL ABOUT FUN for me. I can come across as irresponsible, but I simply want to just have fun, fun, fun. You really help me understand myself more, doc. Warm regards.

[@b.questor]

Point well taken, just when I needed it. Thanks for being here and now.

[@elenajohnson6336]

I have really been struggling with wanting to do harm to someone who caused me PTSD (probably Complex PTSD but I’ve yet to be diagnosed). I was a really good person before this happened but I feel like my morals have become much more grey since and I have lost a lot of trust and love I had for people in general following this. It’s exhausting, and everytime I feel like I’m over it I take two steps back. 😓

[@babblingalong7689]

Good luck. I too suffer from cPTSD.

[@elenajohnson6336]

Babbling Along thank you x

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Check out Tim Fletcher's KZbin videos on complex PTSD

[@zarathustra1430]

I empathize with you. I hope you're feeling less exhausted now. I have a similar struggle.

[@SgtPeppersLonelyHeartsClubBand]

@@babblingalong7689Me too! I have failed to realize this until now that I have so much to change about my perspective and way I think.

[@amicamio2435]

This is one of the only channels I watch religiously.

[@LunaGray13]

Nice picture! Also yes he's fascinating!

[@brandeeward9607]

The examples of the thoughts for different personality types was extremely helpful. I would love to see more videos of different real world examples and how the Cluster B personalies would think about the situation. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

[@Mike-xt2lh]

Lol sounds like my father don't look at me that way . Dr.Todd Grande videos keep getting more and more interesting !

[@symbolizeme]

This is one of the best videos on SO much behavior! Nice.

[@theescorpio565]

I love your videos! I always listen to you while I do my homework for Early childhood education. Thanks to you I have decided to go ahead and minor in psychology once I transfer to work on my BS next year. I am excited and physiology is way too fascinating.

[@bellatrixmoon1836]

I love you so much! I love how unbiased and compassionate you are

[@blushbb.]

I thought everyone felt the way I felt but there was always something wrong with me and no one noticed until I did something very bad. Then all of a sudden people wanted to care and get me help because it started to affect them, but it’s too late and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to think like a “normal” person. No one actually cares in my world. I wish I was normal but after everything I’ve went through in my childhood it will be impossible - I really wish I had a fair chance at life.

[@KoreaMojo]

I think people believing most actions are motivated by thought is problematic. In cognitive ergonomics the evidence most of our behaviors are motivated by thought on a subconscious level is helpful. Most of use would not consider the things that pass into consciousness when avoiding a banana on the sidewalk as 'thought'. Our brains are just our manual of operation, once they register something that helps us survive by us groping in the dark to self-sooth, we have incentive to repeat the behaviors and not to analyze it. Thought to me is passive and a reaction to feedback after an action spurred on my an emotional response or a analytical process that augments actions. Most of us need an abnormal environmental response to our normal patterns to have pause enough to truly think about how we behavior or what we believe. Understanding this can increase compassion and give us an opportunity to truly think about our own behavior, challenge beliefs and modify responses. Not truly in response to your thoughts but in response to the general idea people plan maladaptive behavior. They just respond to stimuli in the short-term and deal with the consequences similarly. Great video as usual Dr.Grande! Can you do a video describing what 'emptiness' is? People always list the critera for BPD but when they say this I cannot be sure I grasp it. There is no explanation I can conceptualize like I can anxiety, fear and other emotional states.

[@KoreaMojo]

@@user-xh7gb6zm1q Well everyone is different but we often follow patterns. Even the assumptions we make about why people do what they do can be theorized as a metabolic preservation tactic (using less energy by simplification). It's well known that our neural pathways developed connections mostly by repetition and certain chemicals like dopamine actually encourage repeat behavior based on anticipated rewards. If calming oneself down is not the implicit aim of most reactionary behavior, I don't know what is in simple terms. I find all this fascinating because there are so many angles to view behavior and thought patterns from, many if which don't necessarily conflict. I can only relate my own childhood experience to my adult thinking under similar emotional circumstances and see you react the more unpleasant the emotion is and analyze later... unless analysis becomes unpleasant as well. I could ramble on but I suspect we all are varying degrees of reactionary. The more maladapted we are the more damage we cause or so it seems.

[@kellyannallen2454]

Good morning ☀️. I love a vid to start my day. Thank you Dr.G and have the best day😉

[@billhildebrand5053]

Comment 260: 12,011 views. I just noticed the subscribers shot to 199K. Congratulations Dr. Grande 😳😳😀😀😀😀 Kudos on these great videos allowing us to see our narcissistic and antisocial thoughts and behaviors. 😄😄😄

[@louisafoster1640]

Thank you Dr Grande, you're very informative. I found the Cluster B/A behaviour/thought comparisons very helpful also!

[@cactustree505]

I have a family member diagnosed with ASPD and in addition to impulsive aggression he is frequently manipulative and he frequently plans ahead to hurt people.

[@SaritaSingh-dx8lv]

This is the most accurate statement I have read in the comment section till now, for some bizzare reason they have to hurt somebody or the other, it is genuinely a play in dominance

[@NateDenington]

I constantly lied to my parent because I didn’t wanna be beaten severely not because I thought I was a great liar or something. And lying worked. Telling the truth had a 100% beat rate. Lying was probably around 50/50, only if they found out.

[@martcichocki5571]

Interesting glimpse into the pathological thinking of ASPD types. "Apology FROM the victim?" Double insult. Reckless aggression, impulsivity, rationalizing, self delusion excuses. I'd Hate to have ASPD!

[@yuckyskunk2021]

@Susana A oh my god u literally learned nothing from the video

[@youtubeepicuser4209]

Could u make a video about antisocial personality disorder with empathy? Lack of empathy is not a criterion so I’m curious about those kinds of people

[@wakeup6778]

I am also curious about that one

[@smooveboy]

If you have empathy then your not antisocial

[@youtubeepicuser4209]

@@smooveboy that isn’t true

[@nosvratupanaoic4221]

@@youtubeepicuser4209 any proof? Bc my doctor was trying to say I have APD but I have empathy for people. Sometimes it's all of a sudden extreme wave of sympathy and empathy for people out of nowhere. Then I have periods of lack of emotion for others. It's weird. As much as I hate to admit it, I love to feed my ego. I love to destroy property. I destroyed my neighbor's bunny sculpture when I was 9 for no reason other than it made me feel good. I also used to make my gf cry just to make me feel better. It's like I can be a good person and care for others but at the same time I also like to cause pain and make people suffer for no reason but my amusement.

[@galebh9715]

@@nosvratupanaoic4221 probly not dude, youre good dont worry

[@kateskeys]

I was not aware of much of the anti-social part. Very informative, I learned a lot. Thanks!. I kept thinking Betty Broderick could have been cast in many of your examples. I’d love to hear your take on Trump.

[@samanthamills5403]

I will watch any ASPD video of yours I can get my hands on. I’ve been involved with someone who has it for about it a year now and it’s ever exhausting. These are insightful and definitely relate.

[@funkymunky]

Stress and environmental stressors combine with beliefs to produce a cocktail of negative thoughts, which lead to negative behaviors, which lead to caged living.

[@Marcelube]

That is incredible insight! Thank you so much always, Dr Grande.

[@religiohominilupus5259]

Dr. G., you're putting theory into practice in these examples. Invaluable, thank you!

[@richardhorn7688]

Excellent video and I love the way you are able to share this disorder in a way that normal people can understand. If I may ask a question plz. I have been seeing a Dr actually 2 Dr for depression. They have never seen me and i have never seen them. All phone I've been seeing them for a year now and I'm on meds that I knew was changing me for the worse and I've tried 4 times to stop taking them but I spaz out and it's obvious it's the meds because I don't use drugs anymore. The problem I have is that I have aspd and the last thing I would ever do is tell my Dr about these negative side effects due to how unpleasant the side effects while not taking and the fact that since I have started taking these I literally have not sent a text message, made a phone call, sent an email. I am beyond irritated by everything and even the sound of my own voice I can't stand and I avoid any conversation with anyone all the time. I can still function I just won't interact with anyone. The anger feeds the isolation and all of this happening so strong I won't tell anyone including and mostly I won't talk to the Dr

[@marie2588]

I don’t know whether you are familar with the Hitchcock’s movie Rope (1948), but I thought a lot about Brandon Shaw during your video. His character meets the majority of the thoughts that you included here. Brilliant video

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

Great video Dr. Grande! Wow, tremendous lack of insight behind these thoughts. I also find it puzzling the excitement seeking, or this idea to always have some fun. Maybe the deep emptiness prompt someone to constantly look for excitement outside to fill the void? Hard to understand.. Excellent input as always!! Omg, 198k Dr. Grande!!! Celebration time is coming soon:) 🙂

[@pocoeagle2]

Good comment again Rejane. Yeah, I think that this excitement seeking might also has to do with the fact that these kind of people are often more extraverts and get easely feeling bored out of emptiness.

[@anonymouspeacefulperson6199]

Rejane Oliveira that’s probably a self analysis Rejane. For the rest of us it’s an absolute nightmare!

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

pocoeagle2 Thank you Ben! I agree with you. You know, it’s so ironic that I never really enjoyed sensation seeking and although I live in New Jersey for many years I am originally from Brazil- the country of excitement, fun! LOL Talk about feeling isolated 😄

[@pocoeagle2]

Aaah,.... the country from the delicious Brazilian barbeque tomato salsa 🍅🍅🍅. Have a nice evening Rejane :-)

[@mayrawellington1130]

Thank you Dr. Grande!🌷❤️

[@user-gb7vx5qu3h]

Very interesting briefs on this variety of types. It's good to remind one's self to turn toward service and kind actions toward others as a priority in one's life, as it's too easy to get self-focussed in ways that can become unhealthy, and lose one's capacity for compassion, either by "chasing that brass ring" of achievement, or indulging in "self-soothing" actions like overspending, as mentioned. Both of those actions have their place in a person's life at different periods, but if they're not balanced with healthy choices to take action to care for and serve others, to practice compassion and engage in caring activities; I can see how pathologies can build, and even "snowball" into unhealthy self-servingness. I would imagine that all people are on some kind of continuum of traits, and one's choices can influence those toward more compassionate ways of thinking and living; unless one is actually biologically devoid of the brain development to experience empathy.

[@GeorgePalmer-m8m]

Our group drives from our facility to another facility to set up our medications. I noticed on successive trips there that they had these huge hay meadows beside the road all the way there. I think there are substantially more meadows than I saw. I've read a couple of times about cattle farmers in other parts of the country that sometimes had trouble getting forage for their cattle. I worked hauling hay in high school, so I'm always thinking about how much hay you could get from different meadows. So, I mentioned that a person could probably make a lot of money moving hay by railroad hay to farmers in other parts of the country in a local site. Apparently my suggestion was better than I thought, because these farmers grow the very most prized type of hay - Kentucky Blue Grass. So, it looks like the local farmers are going to make a lot of money shipping their hay by railroad to other parts of the country. I had no idea how big this idea could be, but I am glad I recognized it. I even put a message on the internet to Siberia about shipping hay by railroad, and a guy answered with one word - "possible". I figure the Russians will be less dangerous if they aren't so hungry. Spontaneous combustion might be a problem for the Russians, because they use very large, square bales to move their hay. If they used round bails air could get in and bring down the temperature of the hay.