10 EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE THINGS HIJACKALS SAY OFTEN & How to NEUTRALIZE Their Effects on You

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you
- 10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over you
- How to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nasty
- Recognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult children
- How to stick to the facts and respond accordingly
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Website: www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
Facebook: / relationshiphelpdoctor
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LinkedIn: / rhobertashaler
Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler
KZbin: / forrelationshiphelp
Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
Take my free checklists: www.forrelationshiphelp.com/c...
Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on KZbin to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.. When you're ready, let's talk.
You can take advantage of my one-time. new client introductory Consultation here (only $97 for a full hour)
www.ForRelationshipHelp.com/join
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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#Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This content has been created and recorded for the general interest and information of the viewer/listener. Nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice, or personal advice of any kind. It is entirely informational, offering readers, viewers, subscribers, followers, and members educational resources, anecdotes, case studies, and stories.
Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind.

[@elefkats398]

Its so devastating to come to terms that you thought you are entering a love marriage but instead you’ve gain a psychology degree to put up with them

[@SowPeaceNow]

Yes! Devastating, disappointing, devaluing…and so much more.

[@ursuladraeger3773]

i am married for over 60 years.most of those years not positiv.he thought he can live a single life.go out come back as he pleases.when i was devasteted he laughed at me.turned aroubd and left for more drinking.he is and was always RIGHT.his excuse i am working!!!!observing him for month i believe he is a narcissist.using my children also against me.he destroyed our family.i am 85 now my doc knows him!!to late for me to change.he was my 1st partner .i was 15 years old!!!!he 22.toxic toxic did never showed love or empathy for me or anybody.but he worked very hard all his life.(good thing)!!!i wish not to be here with somebody normal.

[@jenna6600]

Agreed. I used to think he was my 4th child. It was exhausting. The best day after marrying him was the day my divorce was final.

[@ilikeitlikethat7305]

Wow this is exactly how I’ve felt about my parents! I spent my whole childhood analyzing them and diagnosing them trying to understand why they’re so bizarre

[@bobsanderz3005]

My grandma, dad and now wife have driven into my psyche for 40 years: “you are too sensitive” and now I finally find these videos and it’s like taking a breathe of fresh air you always knew your body needed.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

I hope you'll keep taking those deep breaths!

[@kimberlymccracken747]

This is what insensitive, insecure, emotionally unintelligent adults say because they don't have the skills (nor inclination to cultivate them) to respond in a sensitive, loving, supportive manner to the emotional needs/states of others.

[@junelledembroski9183]

My family said it and when my ex husband said it I believed him. I was making him feel guilty. He told my son (not his biological son but he adopted him) that he couldn’t get out of a wet paper bag and he always found a way to tell me I worked not enough, way too much, I was the best mom in the world but I never did anything right with the kids, he would hold me down for sex and then say “I’m not raping you again,” but the venom said, “you will not make me feel like I’m raping you again,” I never called the cops on him and he made me look like the jerk, and incompetent, so I have to share custody of our kids with him. He doesn’t bathe them, or make them brush their teeth, or brush their hair, I’m so frustrated. My 14 year old could choose to be away from the emotional abuse but he said he doesn’t trust my ex to not hurt the three littler ones. And I can’t be there. It’s not fair to my 14 year old. It’s not fair to anyone. The littler ones love him and practically worship the ground he walks on. I’m so worried he will go back to hitting them. Especially if one of them says something or remembers a trauma or anything.

[@beaglerescue5281]

@@junelledembroski9183I prayed for your family today 10/21/2023.

[@Moon_Fire_Water]

Your sensitivity is a SUPERPOWER 💪

[@Ridiculi]

When you ask for a single example of anything they claim, they are BLANK.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

...especially if they are talking about their behavior. When they are talking about your behavior, they will vary between one very specific example they use all the time, or generalized behavior because they "just can't seem to put their finger on a speicifc one!"

[@cherripitman6642]

Yes!

[@goodgracious6364]

Or they will just call you "crazy" and go into some kind of senseless hysterics.

[@queendivine3044]

High jackals will tell you that your own confidence is a red flag. They are the most miserable people that having them out your life is a place of peace. The truth is the truth. I remember when the world was beautiful to me way before these people.

[@princesskileyrae]

"Stupid" & "worthless" were my mother's favorite lines, along with telling me I "have a warped perception of reality" when I'd get upset being screamed at.

[@amandalynnagain]

Ugh, worthless... that is one of the worst

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

Is she dead now? Do the healing and live a joyous, prosperous life!

[@princesskileyrae]

@@gabrielleaumont3971 nope, still alive... but if I play my cards right I may be able to put her in prison. It's a lot of work though.

[@tslilbearshoppe9870]

sorry your mom did that to you, I know how that feels from my dad. I couldn't ever speak to my children like that, they are my heart. They say abuse is repeated, well I forbade that from happening to my kids. My husband and myself were raised by abusive parents (fathers) and I forbade any angry discipline in any way shape or form. We sat them down and corrected them with words and love. Hitting and angry words were just not allowed. My two kids are now in their early and late 30's and thriving. Parenting is a privilege. I am praying for your healing hun

[@jullianneavery4587]

So awful, sorry to hear this, can't believe people could think this is a way to bring up children

[@luanainspired]

With both my ex-husbands I was so gaslighted and made to believe that I was the reason the relationship wasn't working. The only way that I was able to know for sure that they were the problem and not me was by spending two weeks with out them. (They went on a trip without me.) After a few days without them I began to feel so much better and then as soon as they came home I immediately began to feel depressed and anxious again.

[@rainingpatchouli4476]

This is by far the most helpful I’ve watched on all of KZbin . Everyone else over focuses on the strife of narcs..you teach!! Thank you!!!!

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You're welcome!

[@allisonhogan7443]

Sometimes it's not even their words, it's their actions which send these messages. Ex. Repeatedly cheating on their partners = sending the destructive message of "You're not good enough"...

[@susanmiller950]

He never compliments me. I brought it up a few days ago. Then he tells me my make up looks good today, I got happy for a moment and was smiling back and said thanks but then he said, let me put on my glasses to see if I’m lying. Set me up just to crush me.

[@RobinCopeland-gy9vr]

Same,they are not the same as we are

[@BA-vx7gb]

They can put you down without saying a word ……by re-doing the jobs that you have just done …….They won’t do what you have asked …... .. they” pretend” to fix things that are not broken ie DIY …….My daughter would say to me that my house was like a display home… .. but my ex covert narcissist husband would drag his finger along the cupboards looking for dust …… after the divorce.. I’m told his place is a pigsty inside and out ….… I did everything” inside “and out “ all the gardening etc .. ……… HE IS ABLE to look after his place but he doesn’t he’s not disabled in any way. shape or form ..….. he has no-one to feed his ego or make him feel special ……….

[@naomihanna7028]

My ex husband did the exact same thing...he would come home looking for dust in the corners of the house....but I'm told his apartment is a rat nest, a garbage bin!

[@djw8591]

“You need to be emerging in power on a daily basis.” I love this.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

Yes, be emerging empowered daily. Yay!

[@ellensc-hawley3720]

one Christmas back in the early 90s, I was so DOWN, that I sat in my car at a shopping centre thinking if I went into a store at the mall, & try to get into the Christmas spirit. I actually felt like a walking skeleton. literally. I had nothing inside of me. it was thr most empty feeling ever. she was almost demonic with her verbal & emotional abuse

[@beaglerescue5281]

Narcissism is demonic.

[@ishitabhardwaj1797]

Where is she now. How are things now

[@minnaparker1041]

So sorry that you felt like that but I know how you felt since I also had that feeling. It's simply horrendous to have those feelings. I was asked to leave on Christmas day so his evil mother could come here. 😔

[@mookeystinks190]

My jackal likes to tell me I’m old (even though I get many compliments on my appearance) and I’m a “garbage personality”. The funniest thought in my head as a borderline/aspergers female is I COPY those around me. So that must mean I’m reflecting a garbage personality… 😂 And now at 41 instead of getting sad and depressed I just go “b, I’m fabulous!” And walk away.

[@alaysiakayebutler6299]

It gets much better after 40, for many highly sensitive atypical, nonneurotypicals, that have taken our hearts, bodies and souls thru a life lived on multi levels of heaven and hell, simultaneously,, with intensity, 🧡 survival is introspection . Being a survivor of abuse and bullying, cptsd added to the recipe on the spectrum, having an (overdeveloped) sense of responsibility for what happens to ones self... I'd been told by good women, that life gets better after we hit 40, and found all those challenges obstacles meltdowns throw Downs running away facing the music taking it on taking our lives deeply to heart starts to pay off we

[@rascallyrabbit]

so sorry

[@DaisyAnnabelle6]

I hope you find someone who loves you for yourself! I’m praying for you! You deserve to live a life free of insults and being treated less than. 🙏❤️✝️

[@mrsherwood2599]

A "garbage personality". Lovely. Projection, clearly.

[@SowPeaceNow]

Good for you for recognizing the mirroring and projection so productively!

[@dragonclaws9367]

I was told I have 3 weeks to fix myself. It was hard not to laugh.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

I'll bet it was hard not to be amused. And, what was threatened to happen at the end of three weeks? And, was that person specific about exactly what needed "fixing"? Hijackals like to use general terms like "fix" so that, if you supposed "fix" one thing, they will say you didn't fix another. Power, power, power.

[@dragonclaws9367]

@@ForRelationshipHelp Well, he's getting new dentures in three weeks, and therefore will be attractive enough to replace me. (in his mind)

[@dragonclaws9367]

The hilarious thing is, I know more about introjects and an external locus of control than him; I've been in therapy so long, I'm becoming Jungian. And he tells me to see "a real doctor", like a Psy D isn't haha! Meanwhile he went to a marriage counselor thirty years ago and thinks he knows more. Of course he does without study. A wunderkind as Dr Vaknin says.

[@dragonclaws9367]

I did observe in this instance. I did not heckle. I said they attend medical school,And I disengaged. It took a great deal of effort.

[@naomihanna7028]

Wow!

[@marnierethmeier6538]

Really wish I heard your talk when I was a in my abusive relationship and needed help but had no one to help or anywhere to go.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

I wish you had, too! I'm glad to hear that it's in your past. Congratulations!

[@lilithjesus7718]

Fantastic. You are my favorite resource for cluster b type individuals. I am freshly free from a particularly covert hijackal romantic relationship , and am reorienting myself again. This content is really fantastic. I almost died (literally, my body shut down & no specialist could diagnose what was wrong... took me 4 years to determine this was due to this connection & me not trusting myself). I'm so excited to be gifted with another chance at life, & to learn more about discernment, intuition, and hijackals.

[@beaglerescue5281]

I’m so happy for you.

[@robinkaye9763]

A similar thing happened to me. One particularly horrible psychiatrist treated me as if I were “putting on an act” and pretending that I was semi-catatonic when in fact, my mind and body had experienced a psychotic break and were not working together. In the end… when I recovered (no thanks to anybody in the field of psychology), I was reborn. I am stronger, and more aware of the dynamics of myself and others than I’ve ever been before. It’s amazing how predictable and how programmed people are. They’re like broken records… playing the same bit of a song over and over and over… unable to make the leap to a new song. This has helped me to learn how to respond or not respond to their attempts to manipulate or gaslight me. It’s been life changing. Now, I just sort of float around the edges or above other’s dysfunction… and it doesn’t affect me.

[@cheerio9119]

You're not alone in this battle. I'm so glad you're able to reclaim your health...and a second chance at a deserving life. I'm in the same boat. God is leading me to fabulous content to help and I'm very grateful. Hope your difficult days during this healing pass quickly ❤

[@lilithjesus7718]

@@robinkaye9763 wow thanks very much for sharing ! this concept you shared in this exact way about how people can be predictable and like a broken record , how you float around the edges of the disfunction now , unaffected... this feels super key and very insightful ... thanks so very much

[@lilithjesus7718]

@@cheerio9119 thank you very much 🙏 both for the encouragement and for sharing that you're in the same boat! Funny you should comment today, because i experienced a physical miracle today! Before I couldn't bend my right foot , especially my big toe back or really bad pain would shoot up my leg. Well tonight i on a whim tried bending it backward as i do from time to time, and instead of the usual being a form of crippled on that side , IT BENT BACK/STRETCHED like it used to !! It's been VERY slow going , so this positive direction my body has taken is SO ENCOURAGING. If i May be so bold, I just wanna say, if i can heal from this, you can too. We take this one step at a time, side by side.

[@MegaMandy91]

You don’t ask them to explain how you are not meeting up, they make up false narratives as they go. Their stories are very fluid in nature, best thing to do is to tell yourself the truth and leave them in their lies

[@margareth1504]

Yours js Such a good comment, leave them in their lies, and keep the truth with you. For them :- their speaking has no reason other than to build up their ego, or to call someone else as less then themselves. I wonder if later in life, and because they must only live with constant lies, it must increasingly become very difficult eventually for them to decipher what is fake, lies, untrue or real, so are they more likely to end up with dementia type illnesses with a mind full of so much make believe. (?).

[@trailladymtb7700]

God sent you to help continue my transformation from wispy washy to warrior! I am a lion and ready to roar!! …internally of course.

[@beaglerescue5281]

It’s a start 😂

[@miryreina925]

😂😂 brave up and ROAR!!!

[@northofyou33]

"What is the matter with you?" "You are too sensitive" "What are you talking about? I never said/did that" "You live in a fantasy world" and "You are so dramatic," accompanied by the condescendng smirk, are the things I heard thousands of times, from my mother, my siblings, and my husband. Wish I had had these videos when I was listening to their words.

[@alisonvanbockel8146]

When I told the hijackle I don't see any of the Fruits Of The Spirit here..quite the opposite- he said I was dangerous and wanted me out by end of the week or he's putting my stuff on the sidewalk with a FREE sign.. He was truely SHICKED when I found a place and moved out before the end of week.. Haven't spoken since - blocked him

[@johedges5946]

Blocking them is like a "super power" X

[@jen9283]

Body shaming after having two absolutely beautiful & healthy little girls back to back! I picked a real winner!

[@eecneihappy]

🙏 on DRIVING Separately! Being trapped to endure lectures, gaslighting, abuse during car rides, and then rushed, shamed on the walk in.. hurrying out of breath trailing behind angry person.. One time, to avoid this, I opened my car door too quick at Disney because I knew my family would be frustrated with me if I was last out- I dinged the car next to us*..and of course, trading info so I could repair the damage added more time (*the parking spots are narrow) effects me.. Now I realize I drive myself to avoid drama and arrive late I think to avoid small talk, if I really have to go. Before my partner improved his behavior I would ask to be let out so I could walk a few blocks home. I also heard of a women getting so frustrated, she jumped out when the car was moving too fast, survived but barely. So I carried little alcohol bottles in case of emergency, if I wasn't driving and incase the urge to jump out was strong. He changed so far so I don't have to do that.. but life was rough.

[@robinberry4957]

I wish I could show you my scar because I did that my high heel was sparking, and he kept speeding up so I had to make a jump for it! It was like I was a stunt woman. God is on my side was too, and I have a scar on my arm to prove it.

[@elisabethwatkins7386]

Wow!!! The car is my worst version of hell. I have endured all that you say you have for years. I'm not safe when I drive him. In fact, he's not safe either. I have spent hours locked in the car; he's stolen the keys; earlier this week he broke into my house, took my car keys and left with them. He has beat me about the head with the seat head rest while I was driving and his 16 month old daughter was in the car with us. When I said she could have been injured, he screamed at me for "daring" to claim more concern for her than he has. I understand what Roberta is saying, but I'm still at the stage where I am notging

[@elisabethwatkins7386]

" nothing"

[@risingeagle6332]

My now ex wife; did everything you described herein. She and her mother were both true Hijackals in my life for years. Living nightmares, even when then exited. It was brutal. I could never do thing right in their eyes. Rabbit holes and landmines everywhere. Sucked!

[@beaglerescue5281]

Yikes-battling one is rough enough but two simultaneously. Dang-Purple Heart recipient.

[@enigma_33.]

My narcissist’s favorites to say to me used to be “know your place”, “you need to submit, or I’ll make your life a living hell” (Ha!), and “you’re subhuman” just to name a few.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

Sad, nasty, and way to common, I'm afriad. They "used to be?" Does that mean you are not together anymore, or the behavior stopped?

[@enigma_33.]

@@ForRelationshipHelp Not together anymore. They never completely go away though.

[@sarastarzdesignz]

Wow!!

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

Still with that rear passage opening spouting body wastes? You deserve better! Run!

[@rascallyrabbit]

omg. what an evil person

[@brendawarner5415]

Yes,I'm always doing it wrong,no matter what it is. I like her suggestions for being assertive.

[@kaystephens2672]

My Mother, "You know, the family doesn't approve of you." Wow.

[@kellyhummingbird]

ew

[@novaricos]

...says she, to you. consider the source! as in, it could be all lies about what other people supposedly think of you, or she has fed them a bunch of rigamarole about you to them, to get them on her 'side'! But, If they are similarly sick and they 'don't approve of you', that would be a very good thing, lol!

[@ReRe_642]

When people call you dumb & stupid they are talking about themselves.

[@Countrylover1946]

Whenever I did something noteworthy I was told in a haughty manner that even a blind sow finds an acorn in the woods once in awhile.

[@naomihanna7028]

My daughter sent me this. Thanks very much for providing this awesome contribution to us all. Blessings!

[@acolley2891]

i gasped at 29:23 He just told me that word for word. This is so sad how predictably awful the jackal behaves.

[@christinerobertson9596]

Im taking care of my mom on hospice. She is off the charts. Apparently I don't obey her well enough. it goes on and on. I'm staying in my RV to keep away until she passes.

[@OLAlchemiAzazel]

Why would anyone want to continue in a relationship with these types???? Omg sick🤢🤢Don’t put up with this anymore!!!

[@juliejeanable]

Its not always easy to leave, when they threaten you if you try to leave its not usually a bluff.

[@beaglerescue5281]

Because it takes years to figure out what the heck is going on. By then you have children and bills. Very difficult situation. It’s sabotage at it’s finest.

[@twigsoflife]

I am glad I found you Dr. Thanks a lot for giving such helpful information

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

Thanks and welcome!

[@pipergunderson-swaney4539]

Had my 50th and he did nothing - not a card nothing- when I was hurt he asked me- why do you deserve anything- along with his other put downs I am glad to find this thread.

[@sherisedances8267]

You are so relaxing. This video makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You are so welcome

[@evemichael3850]

It does, it's an eye opener for me 💛. Such a beautiful soft spoken human being, despite going through it herself. Someone to learn from ❤

[@AsifSyed123]

Their illogical twisted and convoluted words proves they are sociopaths and psychopaths.

[@lisaperezcreations]

I'm learning so much from you thanks

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You're welcome!

[@lisaperezcreations]

@@ForRelationshipHelp I have a question for you. Are some hyjackles worse that others? Are there different degrees? My husband does a lot for me, but Im wondering if its a type of control.

[@Daysleeper1000]

You're so amazing. My coworker in a nutshell. Thank you!

[@paulaballetdancer4432]

Could you do a podcast about hyjackal fathers and how their sons can heal. My son has been emotionally tortured and abused his whole life. Please. Please

[@evemorris1435]

On my 40th birthday, my mother calmly told me how she was much better looking when she was 40 than I would ever be. 😂

[@virginiacash-renbjor8455]

All of the topics about difficult people have been very helpful and what I get back confirms so much of my own thinking about what's in front of me. I have watched the difficult person as he engages with me and I see the nanosecond facial thing that I know he is completely unaware that he has given himself away, again. LOL Myself I just chalk it up to this is him and his own feelings he can't openly deal with and yeah I do think he is dealing with his own shame that's nagging him until he reacts and hopes I follow through and return it back to him.No thank you honey. I guess that's call projection, the come on honey if ya love me you'll own my shit so I can feel better about what I do to you. LOL Living with a person who thinks the world can't see him is not always easy but it is what I do see. So thanks for the psychology lessons and advise, it has come in handy for my own sanity and well being. I got this 💘

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You're so welcome. I'm glad you've "got it!"

[@222radar]

"personal weather report" - excellent idea

[@michellelippincott6097]

Is the eye roll a form of contempt and disdain like the smirk? Especially if its done behind your back thinking you don't KNOW or see it .

[@beaglerescue5281]

My covert narcissist daughter married another narcissist who eye rolls constantly. It’s the way he deals with her daily devaluing of everything he does. It’s going to be an interesting marriage. I’m learning and praying most days for the future eruption.

[@lizhart8768]

Love your show .. Helps ne think so much. And learn..

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

I'm so glad to hear that. Thanks for reaching out.

[@writer1986]

My hijackal husband victimizes himself when times get tough between us, which I feel is abusive. One time he tried to manipulate me by saying "...unless you leave me first." So I reminded him that in couples counseling I was only able to name one skill/trait I like about him, whereas he named at least 5 about me. I took the power back by reminding the BOTH OF US that I AM better than him, and the losing person is not me--although I personally do not do power-struggles or competition in any of my relationships.

[@728spridle]

Dude. If your sitting there saying you're better then someone else, especially your partner, maybe you need to rethink who your with. One person is not better then the other. One person may be kinder, more upstanding, though no one is better then the other. I'm sorry for your situation, and truly hope you rethink things.

[@Calidore1]

Is this for real? Are you certain he is the abuser?

[@veronicalagor4771]

Um….I hope you reread your comment at some point and realize…

[@clareespina4018]

I was having a conversation with my MIL. She said why would I think that I would be chosen as a godmother to my friend.’s baby. She said, who do you think you are. BTW, I was chosen to be the baby’s godmother.

[@finallyforme8059]

This is excellent! Appreciated🙏❤️

[@elizabethcrockett3821]

I’m married to someone be I believe to be Asperger’s not diagnosed but I listened to a program that made sense to me most of the issues that impact me are dismissed, emotional needs, anxiety and depression.

[@elizabethcrockett3821]

The other area is he doesn’t take responsibility, and the difference in parenting.

[@vcreativeart16]

Great video

[@kimberlymccracken747]

Thanks Rhoberta ❤

[@rascallyrabbit]

this woman is spot on

[@lorrainenicoletti6232]

You are Brilliant . You know . And the words and structure come through. Light! Thank you

[@Saltysweet69]

Thank you

[@rosezarco9185]

When they say they will take away your kids...

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

Oh, yes, they love to threaten that, don't they? They know it is a very tender spot, and they like to jump on it. Sad.

[@pattyrooney1323]

Thank you for this insightful teaching.

[@JudyMikeska]

Fantastic explanations, thank you very much

[@theresahodgins-lott4375]

I just found you!!!!! Thank you.

[@regiz5358]

You are our jewel 💎 here! GRATITUDE 🙏🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

[@amithasimon6725]

every word u speak is absolutely right

[@Ridiculi]

Thank you so much for making these videos.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You're welcome!

[@DMWB57]

Excellent video, thank you!!

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

Sadly, they can seem so familiar, right?

[@batcactus6046]

LOL "that noise is going on over there" Pure gold.

[@SmidgeofSnow]

Just found your channel. In reading some of the comments you might want to consider asking/giving someone a wrench so they can monitor the chat. Those that make nasty/condescending comments need to be removed and blocked/band from your chat. They do damage to those seeking support, compassion and love.

[@ginaeboldt5107]

Thank you for videos. My mother and spouse now are narcissists and you words help me day to day. On my way to healing ❤️‍🩹

[@SowPeaceNow]

You are so welcome. I wish you well.

[@anneliesebartonik5501]

This is really amazing info, do you have any more self-affirmative and validation videos that I can learn from as a co-dependent?

[@janm9610]

My soon to be x husband just texted me today saying " No matter what you think, you are not special."

[@beaglerescue5281]

That hilarious 😅. He’s still doing his bs from a far.

[@HeartOfTheSource]

The Legion of demons will only say something like that when you truly ARE special lol. They see your light and when they can't feed on it directly to they seek to attempt to dim it. Don't let them win. You are wonderful. Go NO contact if possible or very low contact if still must have to co-work, co-parent or co habitat etc with the demon. Cast them out and integrate them into the Light of infinite intelligence. 💛 ✨

[@johedges5946]

You will be special to someone better than him.

[@jennywager6228]

The left brain, there's no logic. It's pervasive. I asked what I'm doing that he feels upset about.... His answer was classic, I stood there waiting knowing I do everything with thought care and compassion ....His answer, was, You know what you're doing....BAM!

[@jturner97601]

I lost my partner and a year later got involved with a hurricane. Insults. Jibes. I'm dizzy like i forgot real life. Just feeling dead inside.

[@woobielocks]

Literally I’ve heard some of these exact sentences like the paper bag one

[@amothergoddess2774]

THATS SPOT ON, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH; I'VE GONE NO CONTACT W/ONE SISTER, SHE KEEPS RINGING, I DON'T ANSWER AND I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL, THERES NO POINT, BECAUSE I'M PRETTY POSITIVE NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE, I HAVE ANOTHER ONE AS WELL TO DEAL WITH, ITS NO WONDER I'VE NEVER FELT GOOD ENUF, I'M LEARNING ALL I CAN SO I CAN SEE EM COMING, I'VE BEEN DUPED SO MANY TIMES! YOUR ADVICE IS EXCELLENT! SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE CALLED ME STUPID, IN FACT I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS REALLY NOT TOO BRIGHT AA ND ITS TRUE, SHE'S DUMB, KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING CAUSE SHE NEVER LISTENS!

[@SpiritualTarotGoddess]

I really need reminders please please

[@Searchingwithin74]

I don't know who I am anymore, I used to be happy & feel good about myself..but my bf has already controlled my mind,feelings.im struggling of how to walk away, I don't know how. He made me everything is all my fault nothing that I do, feel is good for him :-(

[@beaglerescue5281]

Everything he says from this moment forward is false. Trust yourself. Get away from him by planning an escape and stick to it. Never let him know you know. A decent person never discourages people they encourage. He’ll suck the life out of you because he knows he’s messed up.

[@Traumawomen]

What would the difference be if both believe that they are correct? I always try to question my reality, my perception of what is going on, an important way to be able to grow in the world not discount others reality . On the other hand, two inches of grease on the stovetop is not a clean stovetop..in anyone’s reality.

[@veronicalagor4771]

Yeah, I’ve definitely had to redo chores or constantly remind my partner how to do certain chores because they just weren’t done even remotely good enough. And I’m not a super duper neat freak, like the thing supposedly cleaned literally doesn’t look any different to me. Like…he pretends like he has no idea what clean looks like despite his family home being absolutely pristine.

[@AsifSyed123]

They target and observe their subjects usually good and easily accessible people and study them indefinitely and spread hatred against their targets.

[@juliecooper7194]

I didn't know there was so many people going through it

[@Cleofree]

My ex called me a whore and told me no men worth anything would want me because I have had failed relationships and have a child out of wedlock. Keep in mind he has a kid out of wedlock and numerous one night stands.

[@traceyphillips4539]

My husband turned all seven of my adult children against me when I filed for divorce. How can that be restored. They treat me like he did.

[@brendarewan7441]

Let them feel however they choose. Walk away from them all.

[@brendarewan7441]

I’m not answering your question because you already know the answer”. REALLY!!

[@juliecooper7194]

😢great my daughter is .

[@JS-ld2qd]

I wondered about the 😏 smirk

[@tahiraovais8914]

My real brother is like this

[@love2vintage]

So fare I’ve had hair, teeth, body, make up and jewellery shaming and shoe shaming 😂keep laughing at there bull shit.

[@beaglerescue5281]

It really can be funny when you become knowledgeable of the tactics and predictability of narcissists.

[@nicolebowman5727]

All these things, yes. But even after the breakup, tell me WHY I still want to get his approval?? 5 weeks no contact after he dumped me (when I tried to confront these behaviors, specifically " I find it hard to talk to you and be authentic/vulnerable because I feel like im walking in eggshells") and for some reason I feel like im dying everyday he doesn't contact me. Somehow I still feel this need to overcome all his objections (which are listed in this video).

[@beaglerescue5281]

Your need for his approval will fade away the more you learn about this personality disorder. YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! Even if you were perfect, he would crucify you like Jesus. The problem lies with them, but we can learn how to respond and react better knowing about this dreadful mental illness called narcissism.

[@DobermanLover]

Rejection is painful, even when coming from a harmful and toxic person that you care about. Take heart, though. As the days pass, so will the pain of rejection. Clarity will come to you, a little more, day by day. The hurt will turn to gratitude. Gratitude that the problem person is no longer inflicting themself and THEIR problems on you. You will never, ever, find peace and sanity with them in your life. They did you a favor. Take it, spread your wings and FLY 💕 (edited for spelling)

[@beaglerescue5281]

@@DobermanLover Good and encouraging comment.

[@KindraShalynnHaimberger]

I have a question but I am not sure how to ask it in the comment section. Anxiety sucks.

[@beaglerescue5281]

Give it a try. You’ll be surprised how many folks are just like you. It will help. Your anonymous.

[@Searchingwithin74]

Can anybody help me, how do you guys walk away from emotional abused?? I'm struggling, its effecting me bad

[@ThingsILove2266]

Did u get out yet? Get yourself a counselor.

[@beaglerescue5281]

Counselors are slow and expensive. There’s great information online that’s free. Make a secret plan. When you leave delete him from all possible communication. If a friend sends you information from him block your friend. Leave no door open for this person. They need supply and if you give no hope most will give up and leave you alone.

[@michaelmakowsky]

All is irrelevant, We’re beyond the (.)of no return. Please, learn this super fast.

[@robinberry4957]

I get it! Everyone sucks!

[@cheryldaltonchandler8431]

Is there actually a future with someone like this?? Why not just choose not to be with them or around them?? I would just go live somewhere else and not include them in my life.

[@anothercomment3451]

Factually, nobody makes a "clinicsl diagnosis" except a professional. So, call a psychopath what it acts like, and nothing to re-term.

[@SpiritualTarotGoddess]

And show times

[@janm9610]

Sadly, before iur marriage blew up, he'd yell out of the blue to stay off dating sites.....he must have been perusing . Of course, i wasn't.

[@cyndimoring9389]

my husband married me. because he wanted children. But after I had them he blamed the children for our poor sex life.

[@feliciadean1084]

Why does the jackal always try to one up you?

[@anothercomment3451]

Please stop trying to set a Trend w/new your own new term, "hijackal". It is what it is - psychopathy, by psychopaths & sociopaths. Keep it simple, and Accurate!

[@jenna6600]

Thanks for this. My Mom always says I’m lucky anyone puts up with me & she body shames me, random strangers & her boyfriend. After a life time of invalidation and marrying a malignant narcissist, life feels like perpetual confusion. I found the courage to divorce my husband, but we cannot divorce our parents. It’s the most unsettling feeling I’ve ever experienced.

[@maralfniqle5092]

Yes, you can absolutely "divorce " your parents no matter how old you are. They just get worse with age, much worse and then they expect us to become their carers in old age. Walk away, move away and look after your yourself and your own healing.

[@queendivine3044]

I said the other day that I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with alot of bullcrap that I know I didn't deserve. But what do you do and what can you do when everything they doing to you has caused you so much depression and stress. Seriously I had a friend tell me that I should have told them to go hell because that my confidence level was low. I felt so much shame yet should I been even feeling this way the shame after she told me that because I was so depressed behind what they was doing to me and that was the case. More Importantly it was like I was being bullied into proving that I was not what they was sending me through yet I know I was never be able to breath until be happy until I got away from them and that relationship. It felt like my back was being pushed against the wall and I waa on eggshells behind trying to end it all. Then it would try into by defending myself and standing my group I was told I was kicking everyone else in the teeth because I wouldn't deal or agree to everyone else's plan. I walked away with myself and it came to an end point blank.

[@NeonCicada]

That says more about them + who they are -- than it does you + who you are. _(even if it doesn't always feel that way)_

[@JS-ld2qd]

I wondered about the 😏 smirk