10 Reasons Why Some People Over 30 Are Not Married | Sheikh Mohammed Al-Hilli

What kind of obstacles are people facing when trying to get married? Why do we see a rise in Muslim over 30s who are not married?
Sheikh Mohammed Al-Hilli discusses 10 reasons
#marriage
#nikah
#thirties
#delayedmarriage

[@raza8995]

Am a 43year old woman and not married some my mistake and later my parents .

[@RyuFan1999]

Most over 30's are women and NOT Married Let me explain 1.) Personal choices to reject good men and pursue career makes their choices far more limited when you're older because A) You're older so naturally you won't attract as much men as they rightfully prefer a younger woman closer to their age B) Highly career oriented women seek someone same or higher on their academic level- again limiting your potentials quite exponentially Make the wrong choices and you'll be left alone. Feminism carries you in your 20's and dumps you when you've hit your 30's. Harsh reality many hate listening to.

[@princessmarro]

We're allowed to want good careers and be established. Good for sisters near 30+ for wanting the best, never settle just bc you havent accomplished anything yet. Everyone deserves a spouse they're proud of, regardless if you get married at 20, 30 or 40. No need to have low standards because you're older, or low standards bc ur young.

[@MA-zo3cm]

Marrying a good man is more important than career. You missed his point, he said you shouldn’t reject or neglect good men for the sake of career.

[@MA-zo3cm]

And I don’t know where you get the gall to diss the men for being “low standards.” Enjoy the trap of the shaitan you’ve fallen for.

[@MA-zo3cm]

Your comment resonates with me brother, I’ve suffered because of this. She straight up told me she wants to end the relationship so she can focus on school.

[@princessmarro]

@@MA-zo3cm i'm referring to his points A and B. Thank you for your well wishes, inshAllah God guides me. I hope you find a good spouse iA.

[@MsPearl_]

ya Allaah grant us tawfeeq in becoming a good spouse and parent , members of the community and have a fulfilling life. Amiin.

[@aliyarizvi4317]

LGBT is getting very common these days in our society.Maulana plz explain

[@rubyblue4945]

Another problem is this ‘ in Pakistani culture ‘ women don’t want to marry into joint family system , they will feel like they will marry into a family and feel imprisoned to serve everyone with food and tea ☕️ it’s exhausting

[@zailahussain3003]

It’s alway girl, I don’t agree it’s more on men, as they are not educated, don’t want to take responsibility easy way out is Muta, islamically educated use Muta as get out of responsibility. I have seen a lot of girls not married because she is not perfect and or their families cannot afford dowry or cannot buy business for groom. This is wrong reasons may be there very few cases like that.

[@rubyblue4945]

The problem aren’t just girls tho , it’s their fathers too , yes pressure can put women off. And the other problem is men in their 20s don’t seem to want to settle down either they want to wait in their 30s and then they only really want to marry girls in their 20s rather than women in their 30s , men are picky too

[@hasnainlalji4018]

Imagine a person (boy/girl) growing up in a culture in a religion (Shia Ithnasheri) and being looked down upon and bullied all because he/she is not NORMAL. He/she has a medical condition like Autism or ADHD or Tics or Dyslexia and all his/her life, he/she is bullied a couple of times by people from the same culture whom he/she considers as their friends, the so called "friends" give their own opinions and create fights within the person's family because of their opinions? Now in all honesty, when that child grows up how confident and how reliable is it that he/she will marry someone from the same culture or same religion? This was one of the obstacles I think would be important to discuss in a lecture :) Hope I didnt offend anyone by this but its just a thought I would like to address.

[@S_N_]

The same person should also think once that if this is the community that follows the best of the people(masumeen a.s) & commits such mistakes then what can we expect from other cultures who don't even have such role models, hence settle with the same community finding best asap or else it's your choice....

[@hasnainlalji4018]

@@S_N_ the person told me that he received better understanding from other cultures and that they treated him better than people from His own culture who claim to follow Masumeen unfortunately, hope I didn’t offend anyone

[@S_N_]

@@hasnainlalji4018 I don't deny the fact that there are good one's in other cultures too yet you can't deny the fact that the best ones are from our culture also if you haven't met any of those good one's, well it's your fate & your choice....the problems that you have mentioned are persistent in other cultures too, you just need to think for your own self....

[@nadinenana1]

It could simply be that there are no suitable men around, especially if you live in a non-Shia country and don’t have parents who can introduce you to ppl.

[@ArubaAysha]

I agree with you sis. I've never had sex, don't drink, don't smoke it's so hard to find a suitable father figure and I think it's only fair the woman is also attracted to her spouse not just physically but by his qualities. Most men are not suitable I agree as well as some women and the other thing is the Masjid DOES ABSOLUTELY nothing to help

[@rab251]

Sisters want to marry...but some pressure from family...wanting the sisters to marry with in their culture...

[@saleimahmad6753]

As how

[@rab251]

@@saleimahmad6753 If a Sister wants to marry a Black Muslim or White revert...The family members always make the woman feel uncomfortable that shes wrong...we need to marry according to Islamic values and compatibility...not marry for sake of keeping others happy and Sister unhappy....

[@rubyblue4945]

Yes you’re right sister , these pressures is causing a lot of stress , it’s not good for anyone , people should marry who they want and they should marry a person based on good ikhlaaq not their status or colour of skin or culture

[@demharakak690]

Even though I’m Sunni Muslim and don’t agree with ya Shia people I agree with what he has said in the video it’s true I’ve seen this myself Alhamdulilah I got this video whilst I’m 22 😂😂😂 so I know I don’t make these mistakes

[@RyuFan1999]

May Allah SWT bless you inshaAllah

[@hasnainlalji4018]

There is a reason which is not mentioned that is number 11…… Wait for a separate comment for that in the next 2 or 3 hrs

[@AhlamShia]

These are big factors. Other things can be childhood trauma, medical illness, and unsupportive parents. Here in my community, Iraqi guys are in their 50s looks for 20s. Meanwhile young guys dates western or Asian girls. So young girl cannot marry someone young😅 My ex-fiancée lied that he was in his 30s when I was just 19. Later he told me he is much older and does not when he was born. So problems are more bigger than what we see.

[@Agent.313]

at the point i will take anyone as long as they don't mind I'm jobless and broke lol.

[@rubyblue4945]

The other problem is , a lot is Sayed Shia girls aren’t given rights to marry Muslim men of their choice , they are so limited and therefore they don’t end up marrying at all. This definitely needs to change especially in Pakistan India etc

[@saleimahmad6753]

At the beginning amma scholar alot of pressure will increase if try to

[@r.m.k.1974]

No money , no House , no car , nothing to offer

[@nazuva2893]

The reason is MGTOW and the rise of western feminist movement wave across the globe. ... Proud to be a Man 😂💪

[@fesojdemha5025]

JAZAK ALLAH KHAIRUN SHEIKH!

[@amuu8286]

Jazakallah kheer ya Sheikh, Muslims women don't want to be in prison by marriage anyone and men are always looking for second wife before he even marry the first one .😭😭😭

[@nothing-nw8xm]

Parents are mostly responsible

[@axeblue]

Lol, this guy has good advice 🤣

[@MrNotfake]

Personally found this difficult. Left searching to family, but from my understanding, they may have been a bit picky. I'm over 30 now and am trying to look on my own. Finding it hard to find people with hijab who are realistic. Also the other tough part is a large number of people expect a lot from their potential parter......but don't believe they themselves need to have or reciprocate that trait. Interested in other people's experiences/views.

[@ferrisbentley]

Yes I agree

[@RoyalCountessUn0]

43

[@RoyalCountessUn0]

3

[@RoyalCountessUn0]

I notice your arts,I touch people and they get rid of disease, my friends, just christians so far, but people say the bad sickness just gets better,I think much of your art might be a similar belief to several beliefs. Gb, almighty allah

[@RoyalCountessUn0]

2nd attempt at the socialist political group, must have helped some how?

[@KAhmed-wp5ui]

Excess segregation can have more harm than good When you go to the doctor with an ailment, he treats the problem not just the symptom. If you segregate and shut down mixing you are not treating the ‘problem’ you are just shutting it down, please educate and teach the community how to behave in crowds with each other otherwise you will never treat the problem you will not get reward from Allah for doing your duty. You are responsible for teaching people how to begave in crowds, allow them to mix and give the word ‘please mix respectfully and remember your lord’. Women protect your modesty and men lower your gaze. Educate the Maulana’s to teach their flock the right way otherwise you are not doing the role and you are answerable to Allah for. Then everyone will be rewarded more through the correct way of life and behaviour. When a member of a family dies and they attend a funeral a mother needs to be supported by members of her family and this is not possible in a segregated centre, and arrangements need to be made to meet elsewhere or on the street outside the mosque, this is inhumane and the British see us in large groups congregating on the pavement rather than inside where we can respectfully give condolences. This is mainly in the Indian sub-continent mosques which are not following the Islamic guidance rather they are reversing and becoming extreme. This is not the case in middle eastern mosques such as Lebanese in Kilburn for example. The men and women mix respectfully and the families and children gain Islamic and social benefits in every aspect of their wellbeing. We are teaching children the wrong message ‘ to mix is haram’ and yet the opposite is true to mix and enjoin good and forbid evil is rewarded if done correctly. Teach your flock the correct path. These are customs of the sub Indian continent. Correct the mixing.. You have a fear, face the fear and correct it. Fear of flying for example they teach you to overcome it, rather than saying its ok you don’t need to fly again. You will gain greater reward by teaching your flock the right way to mix. So when they do finally mix in wider society they will do it wrongly Indian and Pakistani men stare and do not lower their gaze as they have been taught to keep away and it is haram to be amongst women. And not taught the correct manners by their community. English men respectfully look down quickly. In Prisons, if you want to punish a prisoners for bad behaviours they are segregated away from others. In society we segregate children in school if they are misbehaving, so in society we should not segregate unless there is bad behaviours, so segregation in our Islamic centres is akin to punishment. It should not be indoctrinated into children’s minds that being in the same room as a man or woman is sinful in itself. The word for Insaan in Arabic means companionship, the natural human instinct to be amongst other people. It was not H. Mohmmad’s message to segregate from each other. We go to Haj, Karbala, Ziarat and millions of people mix without segregation the largest holiest gathering for the greatest reward for Muslims in the world. The Quran does not say segregate, it’s the opposite that we should pass good knowledge to each other. Young people feel isolated, depressed and hopeless without the support of the wider community, they then turn and look for support in British society for the natural human connection and support. More and more young Muslims remain unmarried and become despondent, we are punishing them by saying that if they mix they will commit sin and its their fault and have filthy minds and manners. Young Muslim boys and girls are committing greater sins by remaining unmarried and then forming relationships with non Muslims or not ever getting married. We are punishing them. This is very sad, we are dehumanising them. When we were young the first generation from India and Pakistan did not segregate at weddings and we all married each other at younger ages, seeing possible suiters and matches. Now it has become extreme and we don’t see our own relatives for years at a time.Now these young people remain unmarried at age 30 and older, they are saying ‘we don’t need to marry’.