12 Ways You're Being Manipulated At Work

Are you being manipulated at work? If you are in a toxic workplace, you may be dealing with a bad boss or even a narcissistic coworker or boss who tries to control you through any number of manipulation tactics - and if you want to avoid being controlled by them (and having your confidence destroyed) you need to know what the tactics are. Knowing the narcissistic manipulation tactics lets you spot them, so you know the dynamics and don’t fall prey to them.
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[@danettejones4969]

The MOMENT you realize your boss is a narcissist do EVERYTHING you can to get away from them. When dealing with narcissistic coworkers, gray rock and documenting everything in writing goes a LONG way.

[@Chris-tg3qy]

Documenting is key. I got rid of my narc ex-coworker that way. She had no valid response when asked why she wouldn’t respond to my emails or why she left me off of important emails that other team members forwarded to me. They are short term manipulators/ thinkers and they just hope their target will get frustrated and leave or blow up which makes the target look bad. Stay calm, keep a healthy distance and build other relationships while documenting everything. They will not be able to cover their tracks because they are so focused on disliking you that it never dawns on them that you are on to them. It is actually quite interesting to see them have a melt down when they are confronted with the evidence.

[@JenniferBrick]

Danette you are singing my tune!

[@yukio_saito]

It's important to document not only their bad behaviors but also your accomplishments when working at a toxic environment. It keeps you sane and it's useful when writing a resume for next job.

[@curiousone6435]

Yes. They can destroy your life , health, and economic viability (wipe out past efforts, make the present unbearable, and destroy your future prospects). It happened to me and I reckon millions of people out there.

[@MrNikhilgherwar]

I left that shit with that shit!

[@uganda8956]

Micromanaging is very common trait of a narcissistic boss. Each time you spent at work has to be controlled.

[@claudioklaus2642]

Oh boy. You're bringing me back memories of my sad past. I would do 99 things right, and 1 thing wrong was enough to get berated. So much stress and suffering taking a huge toll on my physical and mental health. Absolutely not worth it.

[@Baseballbruja]

The boss before my boss now I had that happen. I'm sorry. I hope you are in a better environment now

[@Dragon-Slay3r]

😂😁

[@ivanbarbosa81]

Some gaslighters Start by testing your commitment first, Say like off work calls.They play Nice to gain your confidence and then Start to reveal their true intentions

[@acdude5266]

1. Moving the goal posts 2. Gaslighting 3. Projection 4. Changing Topics / Word Salad 5. Triangulation 6. Infantilization 7. Amplification (of mistakes) 8. Enmeshment 9. Set up to Fail 10. Inappropriate Restrictions 11. Rationalization 12. Threats

[@holly_gmTwb]

Sounds like someone I work with. Good thing my rapport with my boss is good. But I do wonder how long the "chipping away" has gone on, and how far they will take it. And if after persistent mischaracterizations, the half truths become truth.

[@tijeraslack3]

My recent job was number 1 like a champ. The goal post and expectations were moved around daily and was never set in stone. When I was told I was let go and there was no exact reason, I couldn’t wait to clear my office and chuck the deuces.

[@Dragon-Slay3r]

⬆️⬇️🏐?

[@acdude5266]

I worked for a manipulative manager at a government lab in NJ who was supported all the way the management of administration chsin of DHS. It was all about sandboxes and personal ambitions couched in the name of the mission. The test lead manipulated his subordinates and blamed me for his technical incompetence (blame shifting). He played people against each other (triangulation) The director was equally manipulative, gaslighting and using his set of flying monkeys to build his fiefdom. The casualties, besides the affected/ abused employees, were the public interest and money. This behavior is reinforced in dysfunctional organizations.

[@acdude5266]

@Dragon-Slay3r see my follow up comment for reference. I think Ms. Brick is correct.

[@csoto8220]

Real life: I was called to an emergency meeting to discuss my attitude. Apparently i should be extactic that my new boss cant find an email i just sent and should stop mid food swallow to help. It jumped from that to how noone in the office liked me. "He was keeping me here over better judgment" so i told him to fire me. He could not because he was so new he didnt understand the job and needed me. Never bad jobs, just bad bosses ✌🏻

[@JENNIFERBOO]

Good Luck Everyone! Remember: HR is Not There for You, Co-workers are Not Your Friends, Be Your Own Hero. Be Your Own #1 Supporter/Fan! 🌻🌻🌻

[@kurthanke5788]

Some very good points and advice

[@MaximumCareer]

Toxic relationships all feel similar, whether in your personal or professional life.

[@JenniferBrick]

Same dynamics. Ultimately, humans human right?

[@jenamirgholi6004]

there should be a rehab for this next

[@breej3055]

My boss talked me out of a promotion. Used all my insecurities to manipulate me into thinking that new job isn't for me.

[@The25Sister]

Had a narcissistic manager, the most unsafe situation at work. The only thing you can do is to get the hell out because they will use you and destroy you (been there). They don't deserve your commitment.

[@MoonLight-gm6zm]

My boss would extensively micromanage to the point that it felt to me he was looking for a mistake. And when he would find it he would explode and sometimes even shout. He would gaslight me on a regular basis. He never once even acknowledged any of my achievements and was jealous of my success. Communication was a one-way street for him and "divide and conquer" was his management style. He was a real tyrant. That was the darkest time in my work history.

[@Listenthenspk]

I worked in an environment like this for 7 years...there's a reason why I am as bold as I am today...no joke

[@cdorothy444]

Does being bold work?

[@great567]

I had a manager who would downplay my role. They would actually praise me like a junior or present to me clients without my full title, so I wouldn''t be taken seriously.

[@JenniferBrick]

That must have been so frustrating.

[@matthewmcdonald8892]

I'm a male working in a female dominated field. I experience every one of these things on a daily basis for the last 25 years. I've worked for five different agencies in different cities/towns. It's extremely common everywhere I've been.

[@yukio_saito]

Getting gaslighted in my early career affected me badly. I wasn't sure what gaslighting is, so I had been confused for a long time.

[@kopper7509]

Once you get seeds of doubt planted, you really do carry it with you throughout your career.

[@yukio_saito]

@@kopper7509 Exactly.

[@claudioklaus2642]

Same here. Bad people blaming me for their actions. Like "I don't want to yell at you, but your lazy attitude gives me no choice!"

[@yukio_saito]

@@claudioklaus2642 So sorry to hear that. It happened to me too. They blamed me for things they were responsible for.

[@anitablackman1]

Gaslighting only works when someone doesn't know that they're being gaslit... Sucks but least we know.

[@sarannec1282]

I worked for one employer that exhibited *ALL* of these tendencies. EVERYONE was miserable working at this place. A song that would aptly personify the experience would be Gary Jules' Mad World. The place was run by two "possible" textbook narcissists.

[@JenniferBrick]

I am happy you're using past tense here and got out of that work environment.

[@sarannec1282]

@@JenniferBrick I am so glad I got of there too. I was flabbergasted. I did not know what was going on and often times found myself questioning myself. There was a lot of material for me to learn.

[@dorothytinman]

Another tactic is creating rules and policies out of thin air, when it suits them. For example, I was told that we weren't allowed to wear open toed shoes and that this rule was extremely serious... 4 years after I started working there. The rule was so serious that you never bothered to mention it or bring it up in 4 years? They will then assert that it was "always the rule" and they are "sure they mentioned it". The other one I experienced was "so-and-so said this about you" "so-and-so says you did this" and you know have no way of knowing if they actually said that or not. They do it to destroy trust and communication between people.

[@JenniferBrick]

Yep, inappropriate restrictions, goal post moving and triangulation are all signs.

[@danielbarrett3434]

Also, triangulation and infantilization are happening to me and I’m a guy. It’s being done to me by women leaders. Do I deserve it? I understand that women have been abused by men in the workplace for a long long time and I hate it. I wish Chad would grow TF up and treat people with respect. When the roles are reversed, is it appropriate? It still hurts and makes me feel small. Sometimes the impression I get from others is “You’re a privileged man so you deserve it”. Abuse is abuse.

[@JenniferBrick]

Nope, no one deserves abuse.

[@agjul]

I am so sorry you are being treated this way. It is absolutely unacceptable to treat someone like this regardless of gender. Hope you are able to get out of that situation soon and into a better one and heal from it

[@breannab3610]

My former boss crossed so many lines, but I was used to it from my narcissistic father growing up. This unfortunately made me the perfect target because red flags didn’t go off since I was used to it; not until someone else witnessed my boss’s treatment towards me and commented on it did I realize how toxic my boss’s behavior really was. I left that job and made sure HR knew how problematic that boss was and why.

[@JessforR]

Thank you for talking about staff favoritism, especially when the youngest co-worker on the team is the favorite. To me, a boss who plays favorites is clearly demonstrating strong narcissistic traits.

[@petitemaam]

My toxic environment wasn't exactly like this. During slower times of the year we were heavily micromanaged, to the point where they didn't allow us to leave our desks unless we had good reason like bathroom breaks, getting water and bringing it back to our desk, etc. We weren't allowed to chat with each other for even 2 minutes. The bosses read through our IMs constantly because they had nothing etter to do so we couldn't have any conversation through that even if we wanted to. They could care less during busy season. Which we were able to chat for a little bit and get our work done...

[@marrowmadhaven4945]

Oh my goodness. I just realized that my ex-boss used to do this. Almost all of this. I’m just in awe. I knew she was toxic, but this hits even closer to home that than the toxic boss review. I had to leave this job with a company I loved. All because of her. I’d taken it as high as I could, her behavior only became more manipulative. More underhanded and in fact she’d no longer come to my reviews and would have the manager do it instead.

[@noramkelly]

My last boss ticked all of the boxes. The threat tactic they used was to write me up and then have themself along with HR gaslight me as to what I did and didn't do. The only consolation was that they were toxic to everyone, including their own executive team members (who all denied what was going on).

[@danielbarrett3434]

Jennifer, why do so many narcissists rise to positions of leadership? I have had 2 pretty bad narcissistic leaders. I’m dealing with one right now 😞.

[@JenniferBrick]

Because the traits they display and their manipulations align with characteristics of successful professions in the antiquate work structures most people are operating in. Watch my corporate psychopaths video...

[@danielbarrett3434]

@@JenniferBrick will do! I Love your work.

[@sandrahart6195]

If you have to LEAVE the work environment, that just tells me real-estate and/ or capital is involved. Very informative AMV.

[@aulzhoefer]

I’ve worked in a small remote team for 15 years with a toxic manipulator, at first I didn’t realise what was going on. In a small team the hardest part is enmeshment the next hardest is the use of information to discredit and spread gossip.

[@JenniferBrick]

It's such a mind trip because it's normalized.

[@aulzhoefer]

I feel very stupid for letting this happen to me.

[@Faelivren]

It’s not your fault! Airtight boundaries are the only way forward

[@lillinablue]

Focus on awareness of 'Gaslighting'and 'Love Bombing'

[@bbh7550]

Yes, I've experienced amplification. It happening at my current company. I earned a spot in the President's Club this year (which is the highest award in the company). It was barely mentioned in a meeting. In the same meeting my boss went on an on about another co workers success on a much less significant promotion. 😒

[@yukio_saito]

Some of those tactics are very subtle, so people around toxic bosses confuse those tactics with just a miscommunication or something. I didn't understand what was happening to me when they gasligted me or moved the goal posts.

[@curiousone6435]

There are two types of people who get ahead at work: those without a conscience like the ones described in this video and those who are cowardly enablers who think keeping their heads down will save them (the sycophants).

[@redbelli8297]

I burned the last workplace - they check off 9/12 tactics you dicussed...I walked out after dropping a bomb to the CAO. The result was my supervisor getting demoted, the deputy manager was reprimanded, and the manager resigned with blame to protect anybody from getting canned. I went from an Analyst in that organization to a PM at the company I work for now.

[@Sveiksmobile]

Wow! I am so grateful for this video and all of your work, Jennifer! I am on medical leave due to burnout. Now I see more WHY I was burned out. It's time to plan my next steps and new career when my recovery is complete.

[@JenniferBrick]

Sending you so many healing vibes. I have a video from last year and it's a chat with a Burnout Recovery expert. If you search Jennifer Brick Burnout it should come up!

[@Sveiksmobile]

@@JenniferBrick Fantastic! I will watch that video, too!

[@RubyJay_]

My current situation. Got taken off work for 3 months! They’re emotional vampires!!!!!

[@Sveiksmobile]

Please take care of your health first! If you have extended health benefits, tap into them for emotional processing and healing. Get help and documentation from a doctor to help you. Take care of your body and your home. Only you will know when you are to "return to work," and to what setting.

[@RubyJay_]

@@Sveiksmobile I have learned to slow down and reported her to HR and I won the case! I was removed and expecting a transfer

[@t.l.c7481]

At my last job I had a narcissist boss. He tried all of these tactics. I got burnt out from this during the pandemic. I started seeing a therapist who helped me see the large issues. To think that idiot wanted to fire me because “I was not there (office). He would have landed them a lawsuit because I’m protected under the ADA. I had plenty of proof, if they should lie. I honestly have an autoimmune disease that made me a large risk during the pandemic. Do you know what is concerning? They hired a pastor (this was a business and not a mission field) to “help” people. I think it was to have dirt on employees. I have so many stories from that hell hole.

[@alzathoth]

i have an employer that offered me trades training, but has repeatedly delayed the training start dates, making lame excuses.. this is so humiliating and abusive.

[@sabrinaberryman2948]

My boss is manipulative. Lies about eveything and says i am “disrespectful” and “sassy” and “lack experience” for not letting him gaslight me and when I call him out for contradicting himself or being a straight up liar.

[@mags8682]

I had this at my first job. I was trained to be a team leader & when the time came, it never happened. I was told by then manager she didn't know I was interested in it after training for it for 3-5 months. Learned a lot of valuable lessons on what not to do to people from her as awful as it was.

[@samanthahardy9903]

The same thing happened with my daughter. Trained to be a Team Leader, was doing the Team Leader job but only got paid as a basic Sales assistant.

[@Native722]

A narcissistic person is not going to say, "Hey im narcissistic person, please quit as soon you can."

[@64imma]

Sounds a lot like my former bosses at my old job. They were a major reason I quit after 5 years with the company. Communication was terrible, and it always felt like I was being punished for the smallest thing, while other people were getting away with way worse. After suffering over a year of the new bosses' abusive and manipulative behavior, eventually I decided enough was enough, thrn they collectively did thr surprised Pikachu face. Actually made a meme about that

[@CarringtonHollister]

I feel the same way.

[@StillGamingTM]

It's an unfortunate fact of work life that we have to be aware of these dark tactics that people use. You wouldn't believe the extent some controlling types would go just to get ahead

[@schw0373]

It's interesting how a lot of people view narcissism as just typical human behavior when they're younger, ie "everyone's like that." It's only as we get older and learn more about it that we see it's really bad and is probably ruining workplace cultures everywhere, more than almost anything else.

[@lillinablue]

Rule Number One Think with your own mind

[@glennso47]

I did that during the pandemic.

[@katme8055]

All corporations are bad. Overworked and overwhelmed. Total exhaustion and zero flexibility.

[@townsendv58]

Dr Ramani Duversula has good videos on narcissism on You tube. Also, Surviving Narcissism.

[@yukio_saito]

I'm also subscribing her channel and watching her videos every day. It's so helpful for me to recover from toxic work environment.

[@sunflowerfields4409]

This is a fantastic video! It hits home with me. I just left a job that was toxic. I now understand even more about that boss. So glad I got out. I do agree about the "family" aspect. That is a HUGE red flag to me.

[@JenniferBrick]

I'm so glad you escaped.

[@sunflowerfields4409]

@@JenniferBrick I did something I never do. I quit after a month and gave less than 24 hours' notice. The only reason I went back the next day was to return their stuff (computer, keys, etc). If I had left those there the night before, I would have never come back. It was entirely unprofessional but it was a mess.

[@lorrie4122]

You legit described EVERYTHING my boss has done to me!! 5 people have quit due to this woman and HR knows it..HR director got fired !! I was interviewed by HR re my boss's behavior..they reached out to me and I told them everything..they did nothing..she took away my job duties..took my office away and more!! It uncanny how this vid is spot on !! I'm thinking lawyer!! Thank you you are awesome!!

[@avirani0203]

Wow. I just left a position where all these tactics were used by my supervisor, who was also one of the owners so no HR. I stayed for 6 months but should have left after the second day when he had a staff member in tears.

[@RonnieWisdom]

This was a very powerful video, I have experienced many of these things and sometimes you do not realize just how much of what you are experiencing is toxic and falls into alignment with narcissism. I had a boss who never celebrated a single accomplishment of mine, and they would actually get mad when other team members would celebrate my work. I used to say to myself “Who in the world wants their team members to fail.” I want us to all win together! There are some wild people in this world! Educate yourself and stay strong!

[@johnorr8094]

What I've experienced over the past 12 years because of a toxic supervisor and her flying monkeys, I fret looking for another job.

[@nellydelcheva1068]

My boss told me that I have to go because there's nobody to mentor me. Meanwhile I found out that a few weeks back he told my supposed mentor to stop helping me.

[@utube2605]

Jennifer, thank you so much for uploading this video. Based on my most recent experience, I think charities are a breeding ground for communal narcissists. There was a lot of overt intimidation, indecisiveness, and general unprofessionalism coming from the Executive Director. For six months, I was either micromanaged to the point of exhaustion or left to fend for myself. I had amazing coworkers, but my manager was the absolute worst. I was terminated without cause, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am glad I don't have to deal with that again.

[@erickbarney4470]

I going to sit this right here. You were verbally counseled today to respond to official communication. Your behavior today was not something expected out of an officer. Please refrain from rude behavior as well. - Do not clock in on the date when you are not scheduled - sign the correct sheet of arcade . Further negligence will entail a written warning/ write up.

[@candaceyoung3468]

I have a communiry of co workers have done all you've mentioned tactics in meetings, shift and after work. I value a win win situations.

[@CarringtonHollister]

My boss which I’m very close with after 2 years she basically gave me the silent treatment not to mention she reported me to the big chief and I’ll honestly have to quit if applicable sit rep I just had a hunch that my boss and assistant bosses were indeed plotting my dismissal for months now and my prediction came to pass as of this time that I writing this comment.

[@juanitajames5978]

I think I experienced all of these tactics, a serious toxic workplace. I looking for a way to get right now.

[@aprillynn6221]

I work at a store and my manager keeps shifting the requirements to get a full-time spot. After several years, he admitted they were doing away with it completely. He also told me I'm not management material. --Be prepared to be told lies about your work so other people get ahead of you.

[@drdan75]

I once had a job that involved dealing with international clients remotely, most from the Pacific rim and Australia. I was pulling a graveyard shift and dealing with one other guy who was, to put it mildly, difficult. He would undermine me with clients and go out of his way to make me look bad as a way of pulling himself up. One day, out of the blue, he told me that he could kill me if he wanted to and said they’d never find my body. Then he laughed and said”go ahead and tell HR. We are the only two people here.” He was right… it was about 3:00 am and literally no one else was around. I got out of there in a hurry.

[@rebeccaliew2247]

😲🤯😨

[@janelleglass3673]

Unfortunately, for some businesses they will Implement those steps against the most loyal employees who try to uplift everyone.

[@tayntp]

I’m glad I found your channel to prepare myself better. Last year I left one toxic workplace with my plan B prepared and found out it was even worse than the previous one.

[@JenniferBrick]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is the toxic loop, and so many toxic job escapees land in another one.

[@marinapavlovic6200]

Wow wow! Amazed ! I have felt on my Skin manipulations coming from unprofessional Hr and manager . Praise the Lord , i left them !

[@WorkCultureConsultant]

Amazing as always

[@jasper5902]

This resonates strongly with me.

[@att3845]

Your content is at another level.

[@paperguns115]

I have a very toxic work environment and these videos help so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I recently took control of my professional life and happiness by giving notice. I’ll find another job. No one deserves to be treated like 💩. Thank you career bestie!

[@MoonLight-gm6zm]

Have been there and completely agree with all of your points!! 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌

[@nickgagliano7392]

Thank you so much for this 🙏protect your peace + mental health in the workplace!

[@evanmaximilianovelardi]

thank you Jennifer for sharing these office tactics that everyone should know about but no one talks about (only you) THANK YOU!

[@user-lx4ox9yx2i]

Thumbs up! Good stuff! I appreciate that. Cheers!

[@jaybrown2849]

Your so spot on, this video is funny but true, it sounds like you have definitely had your fair share of narcissistic people, they are NOT easy at all, they should all have a one way ticket to the moon. Thank you for sharing.

[@joanellebracht5311]

Yup, going through some of these very same examples you gave.

[@caric8133]

My former boss at a bank did ALL of these. I want to share my story so it might help someone else. I got out. So can you. Gaslighting, being set up to fail, never good enough and enmeshment. I honestly don’t know which is worse. The being set up to fail was the most hurtful. Looking back on what she did to me I was set up for failure at the point I was hired. I was inexperienced in the department and she assured me in the interview that they would help me grow. I don’t know why someone would be so cruel and treat someone like that. She was the youngest in the department and insecure I’m convinced she used me as a target so she would considered “a tough manager” by her boss. Anytime upper management would come by she was so playful and tried to be funny. It was cringe worthy to watch. Seeing how she treated me and others who were below her. I would be called in for endless meetings about nothing (endless word salad) and it would even be about things I supposedly said to others and it would be twisted around. I think from the very beginning she wanted to control and manipulate me. I thought Initially I had made it, had my dream job. A fancy office, a nice chair and after all I really did enjoy the work. However navigating office politics, being the target of jokes, having to eat lunch with these people nearly every day and I put on a happy face but deep down I loathed them. They talked poorly about others and tried to make themselves look important. They used the “we are a family” line constantly and we were expected to have constant “team building” activities that took away time from actual work we were supposed to be doing. Their idea of an “afternoon break” was walking down to the coffee shop for 45 minutes. Meanwhile we were on deadlines but expected to “bond”. It’s the worst enmeshment I’ve ever seen. They were cruel, unprofessional and the worst was that they acted like an 8th grade clique. They preached kindness yet treated so many with malice. They talked about the importance of “authenticity” but were the fakest people I’ve ever met in my life. She even orchestrated the whole department to tattle on me for anything I said and did (down to when I left for lunch, etc and I was never late btw) it became exhausting. I was having to constantly have to watch my back, never knew what I said would be repeated and twisted. It felt like a corporate version of The Hunger Games. I developed stress migrains, constant eye twitch, stomach problems and I quit sleeping all from job stress. With the help of alcohol I would finally fall asleep at night. I was going down a dark path. My husband pleaded with me to quit. That we would be fine but my ego got in the way and I assured him I could just “tough it out”. I was in complete despair. I stayed because it was my comfort zone. I was scared of the unknown and what would happen if I left. After a year of bullying, and being lead by fear, I finally hit my breaking point. I met with my boss and put it all out there exactly how I was feeling and how she made me feel. She seemed to have empathy and I was hopeful things would turn around. However a few weeks later reviews came around and they gave me a scathing review, all blown of of proportion and not even true. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Being told everyday I wasn’t good enough and berated/humiliated. I quit the following Monday. When I quit which was almost a year ago, my doctor said I had severe depression and ptsd. Putting up that kind of bullying and verbal abuse for a period of time had a traumatic effect on my mental health. I’m still healing. The nightmares aren’t as often but pop up every now and then. I’m hyper critical of myself something I’m working through and still struggling with anxiety. Just taking it day by day. These days I’m happy to report I work for the successful family business. We travel when we want, And put our kids 100% first. Life on the other side is beautiful and fulfilling. I paint, play piano in a band on the weekends. Art has been my creative outlet. Find something you’re good at and focus on that. Your confidence will come back in time Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you don’t matter. You do matter and are important. Anyway…sorry for the crazy long post! It helps to vent and put it all out there. your channel is a blessing for me. Love that I found it on KZbin!!

[@JK20239]

Narcissist bosses and coworkers try to play god and use your financial situation to their advantage. If he or she knows your in debt,(i.e, student loans, car notes, mortgage etc), they will use that against you. Having debt while working the corporate rat race is a no no.

[@caric8133]

@@JK20239 I never did any of my banking at where I worked for that reason… I have zero debt but would never discuss financial stuff at work anyway

[@Anna-cz9pc]

Thank you for your story! Very similar to mine !

[@TessAlberto-qm9mt]

Sounds like my story. Thank you for sharing.

[@Eri-Wi-]

I think these are good videos Very informative.

[@NA-xh9vy]

Thank you for this video, it confirmed my suspicions.

[@JenniferBrick]

I hope you're plotting an escape or can protect yourself from the narcissist you work with.

[@mirpatton662]

I had a peer show up who did many of these things to me... and took credit for my best work! It really left me forgetting what a badass I am.

[@dcabral00]

I'm certainly familiar with this behavior with co-workers. I can't imagine how it would be if it was the boss, I would quit in a second.

[@ericliberty1776]

Great video Jennifer as always

[@JenniferBrick]

Thanks Eric!

[@crystalcole888]

Great video as usual, thanks very much! This is vital info to get in to our heads, but knowing this is nothing without knowing what to do about it... That would make an awesome video!

[@JenniferBrick]

Check the playlist in the description! I have a whole playlist with videos about surviving, escaping and recovering from toxic workplaces.

[@Anna-cz9pc]

A lot of things are my story! My boss tells me that I am inattentive, I can’ t hear and listen , and I can’t express myself!

[@mortandsquiggy.2023]

Yeah I've had coworkers try to gaslight me and blow off my experience.

[@anonymousyoutubeuser1360]

Don’t feel bad everyone I feel I get these toxic people everywhere I go their senses go crazy when I come around 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@JENNIFERBOO]

Thank You Jennifer Brick for your well presented information. Please keep making your videos. I appreciate and value them.🌻 #careeradvice

[@yeahwell123]

Wow! Experiencing so much PTSD while listening to this!

[@davidellis5141]

Hi Jennifer 👋 - Hope you had an awesome 👌 vacation 😀. Happy International Women's Day 💪. I don't allow myself to be manipulated or coerced into what I don't feel comfortable with. I say what I mean & mean what I say. Good Day 👍

[@JenniferBrick]

Thanks for hanging with me today, David!

[@shoshanna8475]

Because there is zero recourse really, except to answer stupid questions about "why did you leave your last position", I found myself screaming at the screen and considering launching recourse... I know, I know - their own karma will eat them, but the stress they enjoyed creating is still here :-(

[@JenniferBrick]

I've been thinking about this a lot, because I went through something similar and I feel like it was tough to shake the toxic vibe. It just kinda stuck. That's their goal and how they win. The best revenge is going on to live the wildly successful life you are meant for 💜 Def more content coming from me on this... here and on Instagram.

[@shoshanna8475]

@@JenniferBrick Lyin' witch did me one big favor. I'll finally launch my own business. It's too risky to accept 'a good job' and have all my eggs in one basket.

[@brianrusan9307]

You look good in 2012 went you newlywed. Still looking much better in 2022. Don't take nobody's grief.

[@SamJones-do4hu]

😢 have to leave work place to battle this😮 toxic relationship.

[@dctrbrass]

This has to be one of the best/most helpful channels on youtube. Jennifer FTW.

[@JenniferBrick]

I appreciate the virtual hug!

[@dianajanejubilee]

I work in an office setting where I have to deal with a superior who referred to me as the "least thought of" because I'm not a legal assistant or have no aspirations to become one. (I'm a federal contractor.) A few weeks later, this same superior decided to ask me if I had any family while we were leaving work for the day on the elevator, and I gave a sharp "I do have family" answer. He stared at me with a frozen smile, and asked again about my personal life, and I gave a similar answer in the same tone. Another few weeks later, he acknowledged everyone's work in an email except mine. Since he's not my direct superior, I don't feel entirely threatened by him, but I'm not comfortable being around him. Yesterday, at a staff meeting, he sat next to me on purpose, and discussed a project that I worked on with everyone, without including me on working on it further. I am looking for another position elsewhere, but I am hoping to get a permanent position in another unit.

[@JenniferBrick]

He knows you're not comfortable and that's why he's targeting you. I'd love for you to boost up the confidence vibe so he's more likely to leave you alone 💜

[@curiousone6435]

Federal contracting is terrible. I got PTSD from it and I've been out of work for years. It's especially insidious because you are an "at will" employee like most workers in the country, but short of your boss being caught as a pedophile or something, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for them to get fired.

[@dalegrange7503]

Hi jeniffer hope you are doing well today I still watch your videos. This is my first comment in a while.. Hope all is well with you and yours

[@JenniferBrick]

Hey Dale, nice to see you! Hope you've been keeping well!

[@dalegrange7503]

@@JenniferBrick not to bad thanks. I really like the details in your videos. A different one each time. The number of people who subscribe. Means that you are doing a great job. I think I spell your name wrong. Oops

[@coreyanderson7424]

Wow. So I guess that I am not the only one who has been through this stuff😅

[@coreyanderson7424]

Triangulation is a way to scoot someone right out of the department. But these behaviors will not work unless the supervisor is also okay with it. Either inform your supervisor or get to a new department. Of course there are other options as well, such as also being manipulative and kissing butt even better than they do, etc. But, if you're not ready to do that, then, figure something else out. Once Triangulation is being permitted (which is a form of bullying imo), it's a bad sign. Not impossible but not great, either. Just sharing my experience.

[@RocketVet]

My boss is guilty of ALL of these. I am dealing with it though because I don't want to have a work gap or a job change while I'm dealing with a divorce and trying to maintain custody of my kids... scary because they also hit all of the other points from the signs you are about to be fired video. I've been aware of it but I have to keep fighting so I don't lose my children.

[@arihikes]

What are some of the best questions to ask HR when trying to improve a toxic work place? Involving HR as to provide management with more support to better support staff needs.

[@weronikaleszczynska6011]

I always play dumb when someone manipulates me. I don't take it personal... and I don't try to prove my worth to people who don't see it. I don't care how things look like, but how they really are. They are miserable. No one happy wants to influence others negatively. I wish manipulators healing.

[@Disciple4eternity]

I notice this about my lead. She disguised me. I cannot stand Jill. She has such a big ego and really needs to get over herself. She has said some really nasty things to my face and nasty things about others behind their back. I do 3 times the job of everyone else. She hits every point on the list. I work at an extremely toxic environment.

[@earthsteward9]

I had a manager who once a week who come to my desk and ask "WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE _______ ORDER?!?!" while he stood there with fists clenched and his muscles flexed. We had a system for tracking orders that he probably read but maybe thought I needed a fire under my butt once a week. Looking back I would have been better off quitting before finding another job but instead I stayed until I found a new one.

[@donkylefernandez4680]

I'm just gonna start treating people better, they can't use me forever.

[@Jenny-vv4ji]

I’m trying to quit and put my two weeks in and now they want me to stay and help because no one else can’t “ take care of their baby” like it’s not my problem it’s yours it’s so unprofessional

[@Jenny-vv4ji]

To be clear I work at a bubble tea cafe mostly back kitchen and they said they can’t find anyone else for back kitchen when I’m literally giving two weeks

[@SonnyBCreative]

@@Jenny-vv4ji i hope you left

[@Jupiterxice]

As soon they start their subjective opinion or gaslighting about your work performance. Then it's time to leave that job. They will move the goal post farther from you.

[@goingawol8672]

Great information! Unfortunately, the value of the info is a tad overshadowed by every scenario being the 'narcissistic boss'. Although you mention the 'narcissistic boss or coworker' a few times, every one of the hypothetical scenarios involved the boss being the narcissist. I'm sure narcissists tend to rise to the top more due to their willingness to be disagreeable, but workplaces are filled to the brim with underhanded, narcissistic coworkers pulling strings and manipulating outside the unsophisticated purview of the boss or manager.

[@libraryofalexandria8605]

What if they tell you it's not all on you to help your coworker get through a program they have entered to further their career and then a week latter manipulate you into agreeing to basically keep your production up and also give your co work as much unscheduled time to Complete her work whenever she wants?

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Moving the goalpost is also called future faking