15 Signs You're Being Emotionally Abused | Relationships & The Psychology Of Emotional Abuse

[@frankibetty2574]

You are talking about our total cultural experience right now

[@douwebeerda]

Weird I feel I am getting emotionally abused by my government and the mainstream media... Thank you for doing this, super useful to be aware of these signs.

[@LucaAnamaria]

You are not alone. 🙌

[@enyp6814]

This description fits exactly our world right now and our relationship with the goverment or "science" and the mandates. You are not allowed ti question them, it is for your own good, they tell you to stop seeing friends or family, being shamed for questioning them, they control where you can go and what to wear (on your face). So what's the number I can call to get out of this abusive relships then? 🤔

[@christinadonnelly781]

So this is how controlling parents can lead to seeking out emotionally abusive romantic relationships. My parents checked all of these boxes even while I was grown and out of the house.

[@simstarlet6613]

And now I'm crying because I've been through ALL of it, both relationships, and family, and a workplace or two. And today I'm belittled for, "Well, you just should have left, you are the stupid one for staying."

[@ImmanentizeTheEschaton]

I've been in a couple of abusive romantic relationships. One of them ticked most of these boxes, the other only ticked one or two .. gaslighting and being told it was all my fault. But on top of that my physical boundaries were being violated many times a day and my trust was violated because the person was lying, cheating, hiding, and stonewalling every day. It makes it less "clear cut" that it was an abusive situation and they ended up telling their circle I was abusive because I would get angry and raise my voice when my boundaries were violated over and over again.

[@FruityHachi]

i didn't know that having my opinions constantly dismissed or belittled is emotional abuse, it's not just family but also ever since i started socializing with other kids, i always had to conform to their opinions to fit in and survive school and so it's hard for me to find friends who don't dismiss/belittle me when we have different opinions or different tastes in what we like

[@TheOhioCountryboy]

Hey, I didn't know you knew my parents so well. They had 13 out of the 15.

[@DHarma1923]

Or you’re a minor

[@TheOhioCountryboy]

@@DHarma1923 Nope. I'm old and gray haired. But being a minor is irrelevant. Kids really can be emotionally abused by their parents...they even threw my dad in prison for child abuse when I was 11.

[@jenbailey6243]

The father of my children ticked all those boxes. Thank god I found the strength for my children and was able to put him in prison. It now appears the NZ Govt are working to the same check list.

[@shilohstephens13]

Is there a way you can do a video on abusive dynamics and trauma bonds in "situationships" or friendships? I feel like when people list emotional abuse dynamics they feel very rigid and more obvious. like direct forms of isolation vs. versions of my experience like..., he didn't exactly isolate me but he asked me to keep our relationship secret so when he did hurtful things I could not share with other people who knew him, so I was left feeling like the only person I could really talk to about us was my mother who didn't know him or him...the man who was manipulating me. That's just one example, but I sometimes feel like the emotional abuse is more covert and insidious even than the emotional abuse tactics that are listed on domestic disturbance sites...Also, some of the lists feel harmful because reactive abuse can leave the abuse victim doing some of these things. Like I'll admit I called and texted often but it was often because I was constantly being invalidated, ignored, gaslit, or only experienced love intermittently with him (and others). As a healthier person, I take responsibility for these behaviors. But it took me years to stop blaming myself and viewing myself as cruel or abusive. I still have moments of doubt. I wish some of these topics were covered more comprehensively.

[@LS-bg3hq]

i agree

[@danitaoliver264]

I felt like I wrote this, it's so obvious your a Survivor of a person with NPD, they leave their Mark on us. It seems perhaps they have a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment style. But it seems like the answer is to find "OUR" Attachment Style and do the Core Work, so as not to b afraid of Love or Being Loved, I'm talking to the Choir, Too, Myself......... that's why I'm here on her Page!!!!!♡

[@devanshihehe655]

Some of these signs sound like my authoritarian parents when I was a kid, like having my experiences invalidated, having my opinions belittled, needing to take permission for everthing, censorship over clothing, and never being able to question the parents. Is that abuse or is that just toxic parenting? Explains why I gaslight myself so much

[@MegaDreamOo]

Overprotecive parenting style

[@Calicokitty2]

But just because I experience some of these, that doesn't mean my emotions let me get out! So much work to do!

[@lauraschleifer4721]

1. You can't go out without permission. 2. You're told what to wear. 3. Your privacy is invaded. 4. The person or entity controls your finances or won't let you work. 5. There is some sort of censorship over your life--somebody is controlling what you're reading, watching, or saying, & telling you how you should behave or act in public. 6. There is an intense monitoring of what you're doing. 7. You are punished for breaking rules, and yet the rules continuously change. 8. Someone tells you that this is for your own good, and they know best. 9. You are not allowed to question this person, and if you do, you are shamed or punished in some form. 10. Someone tells you you're crazy and no one agrees with you. 11. you are 'gaslit' and continually made to doubt yourself 12 - they call you names and shame you for being 'stupid' and 'selfish' 13 - your opinions are constantly dismissed or belittled 14 - whenever something goes wrong the other person (the abuser) plays the victim 15 - you're encouraged to stop seeing your friends and family So in other words, what you're saying is...the school system subjects children to 12 years of textbook case emotional abuse? :-/

[@AshleyLebedev]

I want to add as a daughter of an extremely extremely extremely abusive pair of parents for the whole of my life, that stonewalling is BEYOND abusive. Stonewalling to maintain the upper hand, stonewalling to punish. Also I know I am guilty of doing 2 of these to my last partner. I definitely kept changing the rules around on him when I wanted to go and started to sabotage. As soon as I was hurt I did that. :( I know I also called him selfish towards the end quite a bit for being the DA who pulled away. Thank you for this list. Thanks for helping me heal my shit 🧡

[@K4113B4113]

Stonewalling the same as no contact or ignoring?

[@lilymiller3522]

Just found your channel and subscribed !!! You’re an Angel!! CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN when speaking . What you say is so important and when you go so fast it’s hard to absorb. I’ll keep coming back. Many blessings

[@GBpena]

Pretty much sounds like what all the governments around the world are doing during this pandemic...

[@romaekimberlybisnott6226]

Good morning! Thank you for doing these videos. Love watching them In the morning.

[@roshalllambert]

Woaaah my Narc parent had a lot of these!

[@stormyskyz7881]

Yeah love. The personal development school site is down, but I’m ready to be a student and get reprogrammed❤️

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

We were just doing a quick ten minute update. It is back now :)

[@THECQBKING]

I need to say, your eyebrows, look amazing

[@kalinabozhkova5655]

So this describes many parents to children quite perfectly However this is abuse when it’s done to adults but can be okay if done to children it’s just taking care of them 🤔

[@cloudslady3400]

narcissists do those and mmmorre of other ones....like shaming you for your vulnerabilities...talking really bad about someone you love behind their backs...making you in need for them financially so they can use that against you...waiting until you’re at your weakest place to hit you...stop having sex with you as a punishment...there’s way more signs of emotional manipulation and abuse then mentioned...thanks for your efforts it’s a really important topic ✨👍🏻

[@karmaisreal9094]

10 out of 15. This describes two female bosses I’ve had at work. Also to add they were extremely envies

[@maryameihya8077]

Isn't shutting down and being passive agressive a form of emotional abuse as well?

[@LucaAnamaria]

Yes it is.

[@Peanuts76]

13 of 15, definitely my family are toxic, no wonder im depressed

[@gabriela.36944]

I was definitely in that kind of a relationship

[@lunkerjunkie]

this all sounds like control. unmet rejection being expressed.

[@parikshamahabeer]

It would be good if she acknowledges some of the questions or the important ones

[@ARandomAccountYT]

This sounds like my dad lol

[@bongjamesbong00420]

What about when your partner does not accept responsibility and you call them out then they paint you as unsupportive and abusive? I just want peace and accountability

[@chickenpower309]

Love my mom I scored 11/15

[@stormyskyz7881]

I’ll try on my desk top

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Hey Stormy! It should be back up now, we were just doing a quick update this morning :)

[@stormyskyz7881]

Hi!!! I want to complete a course but the link isn’t working.

[@ElGreco1541]

I recognized 3 or 4 of these in one of my friendships. Is that a lot?

[@stormyskyz7881]

I even tried just putting in the wedsite without the link.. is the site down?

[@Peanuts76]

oof, my mother almost checklist all of this....

[@thewallflower7483]

Wow my boyfriend does all of these😢

[@hueyedwards9447]

Where does parenting come in? Children need guidance don't they?

[@77maanno]

Why do you never talk about the type of emotional abuse that is even more crazy-making, scary and damaging to our physical and mental health, namely the more DA type of abuse, like stonewalling, withdrawing, withholding information, withholding love and affection, conditional love etc etc. All of the experts on narcissism talk about these types of covert abuse as being extremely unhealthy, and so do even a lot of the self-aware narcissists out there. They recognize these types of abuse as being extremely crazy-making, and even these self aware narcissists will talk about how these things will make partners go crazy and get so desperate that they end up lashing out and getting angry out of desperation. Whereas here in the PDS these are never really even mentioned as abusive behaviours, nor as controlling behaviours, which they really are. They are extremely controlling. Why is that? Why are DA’s behaviours always presented as just being self preservation or self protection, when the truth is it is abuse and control? I feel extremely gaslit by this. In fact it made me leave the PDS after years in the school, because I ended up feeling so gaslit in the school, and I felt that APs were called out as being abusive and controlling (and even narcissistic) and needing to change into pretzls to please DAs and FAs. I’m sorry for being so direct in my critisism, but it’s time someone speak up about it, because the poor APs in the school are taking all the blame for all the abuse they are accepting and adapting to more and more from all the advice in PDS. Only when I finally decided to go with my feelings of this just seeming so wrong and then leaving the school, did I realise how gaslit I had been in PDS. I found others who would speak and write about more healthy relationship dynamics and the normality of interrelational needs and of how these types of behaviours are extremly abusive. That’s when I finally got out of the relationship with my DA ex who I ended up seeing was actually more of a Narcissist. But in PDS I had learned that APs were the narcs, so I was completly confused. It all became clear when I found the healthy information.

[@kimberlykelly1806]

Can you share where you found the healthy information, please?

[@shansational1803]

Seems to me that PDS tells AP's to take care of their own needs primarily so they can feel safe with alone time, and no longer be ruled by a life-and-death-feeling fear of rejection... which should help immensely in setting boundaries; and that receiving communal help with your needs is still important within relationships, it should just never displace your hard won relationship with yourself. The logic is sound. Not sure where this cartman triangle of villain and victim came in, the comments section? Unhealed AP's are already pretzel people pleasers and apparent doormats. No one needs to encourage that behavior from an AP. The above comment is super sus.