15 STEPS TO REAL SELF-CARE | no spend, real results & proven habits

you're doing self-care all wrong.
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📄 ABOUT ME:
My mission is to help young women everywhere become their BEST SELVES and create their dream life. Self-improvement and self-love transformed my life. It took me from being the shy, insecure, unmotivated girl who was always hurt by men... to being the woman who prioritises herself everyday, achieves the goals on her vision board, takes herself on dates, feels fulfilled when alone, has a newfound confidence AND has power over her dating life. I found my purpose in life after working on myself and I want to help and inspire YOU to do the same.
🏅 My best tutorials on TRANSFORMING yourself and your life:
How to achieve REAL confidence: • how to build REAL conf...
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FAQ:
How old are you? - 23 years old!
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OH HI! comment 'blueberry' if you see this to confuse everyone else lol

[@fireflieswishes]

thanks queen spending money has been normalised in the self care world but that's just a way to capitalise on people feeling bad about themselves, real self care is free 💕

[@deletingchannel]

Yeah most of those self-care contents are not realistic. I'm glad she's speaking out about it. You don't really have to apply multiple products on your skin, buy expensive stuff, paying for gym membership just to exercise etc.

[@nancycortes6110]

Amen ! 🙌🏼

[@Alisha0424]

​@@nancycortes6110 bless you to!

[@mariesdeliveryservice]

"Self-care is a way of being, not buying" WORDD ‼️

[@imfoive149]

1. journalling 2. energy givers amd takers 3. plan out the week, schedule and time block everything on sunday. plan out ur family time and downtime as well. 4. self care menu:deep breaths, songs, journal, enjoy mundane moments, changing little things, changing ur perspective of everyday things, looking back at old pics, choosing what u want from ever situation. 5. internal work- therapy, shadow work, manifesting, taking actions, rewiring ur brain. 6. alingning who u want to be and who you are. 7. 80:20 nourishment. 80%healthy 20%whatever u like.

[@helena..20032]

8: Your needs change . Keep a video diary . What went well today ? Watch yourself progress . See yourself smiling/crying . Write a letter to urself . Jot down things you wanna do example: dance class in six months write it in your calendar now so u have a reminder in 6 months . 9: Techniques to regulate emotions. Choose how you feel. You can eat chocolate, dancing, 20min walk etc 10: Read 11: Burning the letter . Or tear it out . Write it to the person who hurt you . 12: Movement . Choose any form of movement 13 : Slow mornings. Slow movements . 45 mins just to urself . 14: Romanticizing life. Cup of coffee . I get to put on an outfit . 15: Make urself the commitment . Commit to it regardless if u feel tired . You do it for everyone when ur drained but not for yourself.

[@miharu9794]

Waking up 1h earlier so i could have a slow breakfast and have some journaling, affirmations and meditation has made this period, writing all day my thesis to graduate from uni, SO SO SO SO much enjoyable ❤ i would wake up HAPPY because i knew the first thing to come would be taking care of me 😭❤️

[@xnm2754]

That’s adorable ❤

[@nidhipandey5281]

God bless ❤

[@SkylarCharm]

My calming therapy ❤️❤️

[@oamahana]

Here’s the timestamps -> 1. 3:14 Journaling 📖 2. 5:15 Doing things for your futur self ❤ 3. 6:33 Organisation & planning 🤛 4. 8:28 Self care menu✍ 5. 10:52 Inner work ( DO IT !) 6. 11:29 Identify your time 7. 13:05 80/20 technique 8. 14:34 Your needs change ! 9. 16:20 Regulate your emotions💓 10. 18:23 Reading 11. 19:17 "Burning the letter" 12. 20:54 Movements for mental health not apparence 13. 22:21 Move slower baby 14. 23:57 Romanticize life 15. 24:42 Commitment

[@woffee_8]

Thank you❤

[@julyjisa]

Thank you, this helped alot

[@oamahana]

@@woffee_8 my pleasure 💓

[@oamahana]

@@julyjisa my pleasure 💓

[@LolaMaher-xoxo]

Thx so much! Xx

[@medwithandy]

My mindset changed COMPLETELY when my therapist (psychologist) told me that “people don’t do things TO YOU, they simply DO things and YOU decide what/how to feel/react about it”… 🤯. We were talking about to acknowledge your responsibility in discussions and emotional intelligence.

[@emeri.i]

That’s so real tho, you can’t control what people do but you can control how u decide to go about it. Everyone gets pain but it’s if u choose to suffer

[@crystalbutterfly2997]

i find this thinking to be a very difficult thing to swallow… i have a lot of childhood trauma and a lot of it *was* people doing/not doing things. i feel like now i’m left with the pieces and picking them up hurts. i wish i could just switch something in my brain but i cant. hoping to find something that can flip my mindset like yours tho

[@Akshara2512]

i read this quote which inspires me alot that says -" from me to me: anything for you queen".❤

[@gabisky5995]

My favorite selfcare tip is to actually make the commitment. I watch so many videos on improving my life, but I struggle to do it. And this is my sign to be there for myself🫡 and slay this year💅

[@humaira2347]

yess start with something small, like tiny, maybe that could be reading a page or journaling a sentence - i know they seem small but once you do them everyday day you’ll want to do more

[@gabisky5995]

@@humaira2347 thanks, i am trying that! It seems to build confidence and consistancy before building the habit

[@Annie.s_Corner]

What i love about Tam's videos is how almost scientific they feel. This approach of explaining every single advice and idea, clarifying the processes that lead us to point A and what helps us get to point B, etc. This makes me feel like i'm really smart, almost like i'm watching an academic lecture (but fun!) Tam is literally so smart! You go girl❤ Lots of love to you and your audience (including you who is reading this rn😊)

[@sarvaepc]

The world is better because of Tam Kaur. More people achieve their goals because of Tam Kaur. The only reason to fail is to not listen to her.

[@panizdy]

It reminded me of this quote "your perception of me is a reflection of you and my reaction to you is an awareness of me"

[@KhushiSingh-lk8vy]

I didn't use to like the way that all of these "Pinterest girlies" could spend so much just on their self care alone. And due to all this influence, I'm pretty sure that many of us felt that we didn't "fit in" this type of a system, to the extent that I felt like I just wasn't MADE for self care, or it's not made for me, or that I m just not capable of doing that.. But let me tell you Tam, the journey-from learning how to love myself to how to treat myself my way, u've been THE GREATEST HELP!!! I look up to uh so so muchhh, and I love you like the many of us🥺❤️

[@ayushitripathi9476]

I never thought selfcare can be done without spending bucks , so I used to think that selfcare is shit , when I'll have my own money I'll do it but ALL THANKS TO TAM to bringing up such topic!

[@KhushiSingh-lk8vy]

@@ayushitripathi9476 and THAT'S motivation, isn't it??? To be able to do smtg rn, but also to be able to do the same thing in a better way when you have it all??!!?! U GO GIRL! SO PROUD OF UH FR!!🔥🙌🥹❤️

[@rupinderkaur6269]

It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!

[@Sara-zn5ib]

BORING SPAAAAAAM

[@moonlight4567_]

SCAM

[@tilly.s]

I deserve to take care of myself. The fact that I don’t have a lot of friends the moment doesn’t diminish that at all, because deep down I know it isn’t my fault and just due to the circumstances.

[@isabellagonzales2671]

I’ve always done video journals instead of paper and pen journal because my hands get exhausted from my job every day so if anyone hates writing try a little personal rant vlog to look back too it’s my favorite

[@tansytansy]

facts. i make voice recordings and sometimes videos. it also gives me a check of my voice and facial expressions

[@dinajakobsen457]

Are we not going to talk about how stunning you look? Like the hair and that makeup? The green shirt? You beautiful woman

[@itsimmah]

Guys have just noticed only 5k to 1M!! we're DOING IT!! I'm just grateful to Tam and to all of us who have build community, thank youuuuu❤❤ I'm already seeing Tam with that KZbin silver thing( sorry i donno what's called) written 1,000,000 subscribers🎉🎉 Thank you TAM❤

[@user-christiexz]

Can you make a video on how you set up your jewellery business and what you did. I really want to set up businesses and knowing your experiences ✨

[@celestemerwe9893]

I second this!

[@ShenayaKodithuwakku]

Me too!

[@Somebodynsnsjwhnw]

I wanna know too

[@amina2072]

Me too!

[@kulokolakevin]

Yes and invite Marnie to contribute to the talk

[@zoyyyaaa]

so so random but you saved me when I was going through it girl! I appreciate your videos so much never stop making them!!

[@Annie.s_Corner]

Good for you! Tam's content really helped me out too. I literally pulled myself out of a depressive episode thanks to stumbling upon her videos at the right time😊

[@idk-el5vr]

Same💕 I'm so proud of ourselves 🫶🏽

[@vicsolimo]

I like to use my journal to reflect on what happened in my day, what I thought and felt throughout the day, and what I have to look forward to tomorrow. I set out goals and write out my plans to reach those goals and reflect on when I reach them and how I feel. Sometimes I vent and sometimes I just show grattitude. Whatever is on my mind, my journal is there to recieve it and it has been therapeutic and allowed me to truly make changes in my life and take care of me. It is the best thing I ever decided to do aside from therapy for my mental wellbeing✨️ I just finished my first book of 2024 and I am onto my next

[@Anavaeebaee]

Girl I called off work today cuz this week has been extremely hard and I felt it in my bones to just take a sick day. I woke up took one of those “take care of everything” shower, then I see your notification. It was literally perfect timing! Thank you so much Tam 💖

[@Woanderer]

I'm crying watching this lol. I'm in the state of life where I just need to live. Anytime I have spare time I use it to sleep, so I have enough energy to work, forgetting all about the things that make me happy, working out, eating healthy, delicious food, I literally just gulp down an unseasoned sunny side up to shut my stomach up. Never into journaling because I think it's just a waste of time. I feel sorry for me, my body, my soul. Let's take care of myself better from now on. I can do it!

[@annabelleportier6935]

You are literally a God send. Your videos are as good, if not better than therapy. Since discovering your channel a month ago, you have honestly helped me transform my life/mindset into an absolute dream. I cannot wait for your book to be released. You deserve all the success and happiness in the world, as you have changed the lives of many. Thank you Tam ❤

[@xay8336]

omg!!! thank you for posting~!!! few days back, i was thinking of purchasing expensive dresses, jewels and face masks because of pinterest & insta self-care influencers. my mom stopped me and said "self care does not come from purchasing things without motives. you can put on a lamest outfit and still feel pretty, its based upon how YOU can do it"

[@ambeeerrr---]

TTPD and Tam's video in the same day omg such a luckiest day ✨️♥️🤌

[@adhithysaashaprakashrosyth5029]

what's your fav song? Mine is SL,L

[@toolazyforanything1209]

Omggg frrrrr

[@ambeeerrr---]

I can't choose, cuz every song is really really good but well ig I'll choose Guilty as sin

[@rachealdias9819]

I usually prefer doing a weekend reset where I do half tasks on Saturday and half on Sunday They literally make me feel like I have a hold over my life and indeed a very productive yet calm form of selfcare I love it so much:)

[@OpheliasAdvices-mp9km]

This is def one of my favourite vids by you, it’s just so calming and self-loving with the perfect mix of advices (without feeling like it’s being imposed and that you HAVE to do it, but still setting some goals) that I come back to it everytime I am feeling a bit stressed out ^^ Thank you for this

[@emilyyun7279]

I’ve been trying to do self care and work hard recently,but kinda stuck in the middle and lost my power and don’t know which part is wrong ,but thanks for your tips,I find peace and kinda regain hope.🌹❤️You’re an angel.

[@jayzee160]

Self care is creating a life you don’t want to escape from.

[@khan_farayha]

yass ❤

[@joaskaaa]

Thank you so much, Tam. This is a gem for someone who wants to turn their life around but doesn't know how and where to start. You're saving a life.

[@artmarefuel]

Literally needed to hear this today. Avoiding journaling and falling off of my self care the past few weeks has really put me out or sorts!

[@darpankaur7068]

i just found your videos when i searched up how to get to know yourself because all along i just hated the space in my head and rn since im alone after such a long time i feel very lonely and anxious all the time. Came across your videos and girlll you have no idea how much motivation i have received just watching one video of yours. Im really looking forward to going on a self healing journey with you one day at a time. Thank you so much for what youre doing! All love

[@Sheedah-21]

You motivate me a whole lot! I was procrastinating when you posted This 3days ago i kept saying to my self ever since i got the notification of this video that " I'll watch it tomorrow and the tomorrow never ends 😄" but i decided no matter how busy i am today I'll watch this video now i did and im happy cause your self care tips are so real!! Thank you 💙✨

[@emmakarlsson08]

5.000 subscribers until 1.000.000 omggggg I am so excited!!! So proud of you! Love uuuu ❤️❤️

[@simonanapolitano1307]

self care to me also means coming back to ur videos whenever i feel like i need to

[@n.hemavathi3451]

Journal has been a major game changer in my life, and as wall as reading books. Sometimes I jealous you of how mature you are, and i honestly don't know how to describe you. I watched this video at the right time because i can't control my stress and i got a lot of ideas from you. A Bunch of thank you for your help .

[@sangeetabhandarkar7635]

Such a wonderful coincidence! Just today I burnt this emotional letter to a friend who is no longer in contact for good. I feel so relieved, makes me believe that I’ve burnt hurtful memories ❤

[@Jiah_-714]

Ain't no way im first comment ❤gurl i want to thank you... because of you im finally loving myself despite having narcissistic parents...i love you so much 💥😍

[@stevensvapes4217]

Keep up ❤

[@NicoleStaplesYogaandWellness]

Thank you for sharing that you don’t need to spend money to put yourself first ❤

[@jochellevalenzuela4879]

Thank you so much for this video Tam! I've been sabotaging myself for the past weeks and I realized that it's because I'm getting fed up with my routine which I started doing since I was senior high and now, I'm in college. I already experience many things, bad and good that my past self can't even imagine that she would experience but here we are that's why I needed a new routine for my current self since I'm no longer my SHS self.

[@mlkl8864]

My fav self care is working put just to feel strong hoewever the way you decide to feel it

[@citlaliregalado9463]

Wait wait wait m the Snapchat video diary is literally something I’ve been doing for over a year now *mind blown* I literally woke up to you so much and I cannot believe you also used to do this.

[@FullyLovingYourself]

Im so glad a younger woman is discussing the need to look into holistic self care that doesn’t involve a lot of spending. teach on the 9 pillars of self care for women on a healing journey and it includes so many facets of being that we aren’t taught and don’t learn. Loved this video Tam!

[@keylaaranda1013]

Thank you so much. I needed a reminder not to burn myself out, and take time outside the gym for some extra hobbies I said I'd love to do, but always tend to push aside. It's great to come see your videos again!

[@michellejpillay9378]

I'm so glad you addressed this 🙌🏼 so many people copy and paste, that they don't realize their 'unique-ness'. We need to customize our lives accordingly ❤🌟

[@nehu.2000]

Mam thanku so much .....in my very tough time where i m suffering from fear ....u helps me alot .... now i m in my healing journey

[@jeanb2725]

This video was well needed I’m currently trying to get my self together I went to the gym yesterday and woke up at 8am this morning and went to the gym again Iv also been eating good and drinking a lot of water (8 cups). I also got my self some flowers after the gym I feel so good and happy. Iv been taking baths one a week on a Friday after work it makes me feel like Iv washed the stress of the week away and gets me ready for the weekend. Now I’m gonna start journaling and cleaning my house on a Sunday and try out planning my week just like you said and see how it goes.😊 thank you. Xox

[@ساراصمدی-ل8ب]

tam, i just want to say THANK YOU! i had my first solo-date and it was the most beautiful,peaceful and enjoying date that i've ever experinced... i felt better the moment it start, i cook my self a good meal i dressed well and watch my favorite show and literaly enjoy every second, now i really feel more confident, more detached and powerful and i really tgink something inside me change and i never heared of solo dating in my whole life, you bring this bless and joy to my life so thanks a lot💜

[@simranjeetkaur5880]

OMG! I just completed my morning study session. And the moment I opened KZbin , I saw Tam's new vedio! What a good morning❤

[@jazxmoon]

You're a queen Tam! Your videos have helped me soo much in all areas of my life!! Could you please make a video on time management! all the love

[@Esmae-cs2vl]

Congrats on 1M subs!!!!!!!!! I love your vids❤️

[@sejalatulkar7745]

Hi Tam, It's been two months since I followed your advice from various videos and concluded that I matter too. Watching your boosting self-esteem videos legit helped me out in multiple fields. Thanks, gurll🥰

[@Aye_pepitoo1789]

Praying ang going to church/mosque/synagogue/temple. It helps even if you are not religious.

[@rereloluwamike74]

It’s quite hard for me to do things normally because of my audhd you made me realize I’ve been forcing myself to do things the neurotypical way I’ve been forcing myself to be normal, to seem normal and it’s sooo exhausting and frustrating I live in an extremely dysfunctional and toxic environment where no one pays attention to my neurodivergence or that I’m different from others neurologically I’m always forced to be normal and not be a disappointment this is the first video im watching from your channel and it has taught me so much already I don’t love myself very much I don’t think I do at all. But with these steps I hope I can become a better version of myself I honestly just want to be happy and from now on I will do things MY way

[@xnm2754]

Came up in my recommendation that you posted & wow you’re glowing !! I haven’t sat to watch this yet but just want to say I’m loving the natural soft girl look❤❤❤❤❤ so beautiful

[@MrsBudget2Beauty]

Very big on self-care...I agree that you should do self-care that works for you! ❤

[@theinfinitebeingg]

Queen just posted to save all of us i love you😭

[@wiktoriarymarska1144]

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 1M SUBS TAM!!

[@adventureswithsuzanna5667]

Congratulations on 1M Tam Kaur!

[@muskaansinghhamdard2598]

Tam , you are the only reason i feel so good...i feel alive watching your videos !!❤

[@snehaa4240]

I was just watching your "How to find your passion?" Video and this dropped. Love your videos ❤

[@annemk23]

I really love your new make up, you are totally glowing and your natural beauty is shining🥹✨Ofc, I loved your usual make up too, but I’m here to appreciate and admire mew side of you and your beauty🫶 I love you my queen.

[@Reckless_soul16]

Something exciting to wake up in the morning is to re-watch your videos which I need to...as a self care. Created a playlist "Do It For Future Self". ✨❤

[@yumikoyuzuru]

i love this no eyeliner era. she looks so natural and beautiful

[@bettygraves1690]

When I see the bubble baths and going to places that involves money I stress out due to me never having enough so seeing this actually! Made me feel alittle better more of reassurance due to it being mental self care :')

[@lun4g]

Omg girl you’re literally so close to 1mil subs, you’re amazing 🫶

[@shroukanwar]

Your new way of eye makeup is just ♥️♥️

[@CraizaYacac]

Yayyy!! 1 million subscribers!!!!! Congratulations Tam. You really deserve it! Happy for youuuuuu

[@Brownwomanart]

Oh my god🙃 this girl gonna make me the first ever successful girl of my whole family✨it's just i feel like i got that big sis that i always wanted 💙 luv uuuuuuuu♾️

[@veraaltunajensen3144]

Tam, you look SO good with this makeup style

[@SnehaSingh-n9f]

I just don't know how ...like seriously how ...is this possible... yesterday i commented on one of her video ....about how can i do self care without being financially independent ....and here the next day ..mother is mothering ❤...i just love u .. miss tammna kaur ...i literally do ...half of my life change because of u and lizz and i just love u like with my whole heart ❤️..

[@perfectionisboring6785]

Could you please make a next video on dealing with toxic co workers, boss and classmates?

[@emilylesleymiller]

Thank you for explaining these steps in such a clear and practical way!

[@monicaricardo512]

Love read all the comments. Every one Positive and including their personal self care

[@Beebee192-j7i]

I do one job in the evening that I could easily put off. Cleaning one window, cleaning one shelf in the fridge, sorting out one part of the recycling, choose 1 item to put in my charity shop donation bag. Doing those tiny jobs really add up over the month. I also use the time it takes to boil the kettle to do boring little jobs like empty the dishwasher. It's not the most exciting of suggestions but it really helps me keep on top of the housework and frees up large chunks of time i can spend doing more interesting things.

[@paulimerino8992]

tam you are the best and you already know it!!!! what a queen, tysm for this video, so helpful❤️

[@meghap22]

Yayyy mother posted 😭❤️ Tbh Tam, you're literally life changing and I'm so happy that i discovered you right after my discard breakup from my avoidant ex.. exactly when i needed this the most and I've honestly improved so so much. Also, gonna pre order the book asap.. reallyyyy excited

[@Jiminsboost]

Tam is back I missed your videos girl 💕 self care can be freeing and relaxing.

[@lorenahernandez4866]

This is amazing! I was looking at my old pictures and it made me feel good. I didn’t even notice it’s a form of self care.

[@jackandjill3607]

Tam, you were one of the few people I listened to when I was at my lowest. I want you to know that you're not only one of the most empathetic and emotionally mature person I've seen but also one of the most intelligent ones. We all love you so much 😽. Thanks for showing me there's always hope ☺️. I truly love and respect you a lot.

[@user-christiexz]

You are my absolute fave KZbinr. What was I doing before 🫶🏽😭. Can you make a blog where you show how exactly you structure you days. And give tips to us? And how you also finish your weekly schedule.

[@aanchaljain]

her second channel has all of it

[@charlottemlld]

Follow her vlogs channel!

[@user-christiexz]

@@charlottemlld Her vlog channel is awesome I wanted more in depth

[@pragya977]

I can totally relate to the journaling .. whenever I have something going on which I can handle i write down everything in it even and bang my mind feels relaxed.. i write both happy and sad and try to motivate me through it ❣️

[@humaira2347]

i watched this video after work sitting in front of a river, sun was ever so slightly shining (uk weather lol) but i can say that this is one of my fav things to do when im stressed out !!

[@yeraldinsotocastro4195]

Hi Tam, I hope you are doing fantastically need to tell you I listen to your podcast and watch your videos everyday once or twice, you have helped me on my process on reinventing myself and I can only wish you the best because you are changing lives. THANK U

[@alicekxte]

Hey Tam I love your videos and was wondering if you could make a video on how to properly commit to things

[@skrahrno]

Queen has video for literally everything

[@1hrteli]

THE TIMING I LOVE U TAM

[@metome5109]

at 22:43 how i needed to hear this !!! cause up until now i feel like im that friend of yours

[@BrielleOnly-b8f]

OMG! My best elder sister is here with an amazing tea! Thanks Queen😍😘❤❤

[@BestFriendsWeddingProject]

I really like the idea to list things that make me happy and things that make me unhappy. I started to do it while watching the video and it made me very happy. Thank you!! and congrats on your 1M subscribers. You deserve this :)

[@StxrB1rbie]

Our girl reached 1 mil!! Congrats!❤❤

[@ankitsinghsingh5692]

Both our Queens Tam kaur and Liz posted their videos and its literally heaven!😊❤❤

[@MrRabbitsBookcase]

Soo useful!! I'm going through burnout I need to practise the 80 20 rule. The "things that make me feel good" sounds perfect!!

[@kathleen460]

Honestly bubble baths are my absolute favorite. I add magnesium, salt and essential oils with relaxing music. It calms my neevous system, draws toxins out, and makes me feel held and nurtured. I end up having the best sleep afterwards. Plus bubbles on the skin feels so sensual. So i absolutely say Yes to bubble baths as a form of self care3😊

[@ilovemom5713]

Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone

[@AskThesky]

Tam would you do a video talking about adhd, and how to deal with it. My ADHD constantly throws roadblocks in my path, hindering my progress

[@hannahkershaw7781]

The last step 15 finally doing it is what the push I needed ❤

[@KMac23-bp9hm]

Not long until 1m followers 🎉 Thank you for your work 😊 ❤

[@Sahildivedi710]

Amazing content in this video! I rarely suggest anything in comments, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is a game-changer. It provides deep knowledge on wealth and self-care that can really make a difference. Take care, everyone

[@calmcorner305]

I did not know I needed this video as much as I did, Thanks Tam ❤ I feel better just listening to you.