15 Tools for Developing Self Compassion and Nurturing Your Inner Child to Improve Self Esteem

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#compassion #strategies #innerchild
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Chwyl, Christina, Patricia Chen, and Jamil Zaki. “Beliefs About Self-Compassion: Implications for Coping and Self-Improvement.” Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin 47, no. 9 (September 2021): 1327-42. doi.org/10.1177/0146167220965303.
Herriot, Heather, Carsten Wrosch, and Jean-Philippe Gouin. “Self-Compassion, Chronic Age-Related Stressors, and Diurnal Cortisol Secretion in Older Adulthood.” Journal of Behavioral Medicine 41, no. 6 (December 2018): 850-62. doi.org/10.1007/s10865-018-99....
Kim, Chanhee, and Hana Ko. “The Impact of Self-Compassion on Mental Health, Sleep, Quality of Life and Life Satisfaction among Older Adults.” Geriatric Nursing (New York, N.Y.) 39, no. 6 (November 2018): 623-28. doi.org/10.1016/j.gerinurse.2....
Lathren, Christine R., Sanjana S. Rao, Jinyoung Park, and Karen Bluth. “Self-Compassion and Current Close Interpersonal Relationships: A Scoping Literature Review.” Mindfulness 12, no. 5 (May 2021): 1078-93. doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01....
Lloyd, Joanna, Jane Muers, Tom G. Patterson, and Magdalena Marczak. “Self-Compassion, Coping Strategies, and Caregiver Burden in Caregivers of People with Dementia.” Clinical Gerontologist 42, no. 1 (February 2019): 47-59. doi.org/10.1080/07317115.2018....
Luo, Xi, Jianzhao Liu, and Xianwei Che. “Investigating the Influence and a Potential Mechanism of Self-Compassion on Experimental Pain: Evidence From a Compassionate Self-Talk Protocol and Heart Rate Variability.” The Journal of Pain 21, no. 7-8 (August 2020): 790-97. doi.org/10.1016/j.jpain.2019.....
Lutz, Jacqueline, Michael P. Berry, Vitaly Napadow, Christopher Germer, Susan Pollak, Paula Gardiner, Robert R. Edwards, Gaelle Desbordes, and Zev Schuman-Olivier. “Neural Activations during Self-Related Processing in Patients with Chronic Pain and Effects of a Brief Self-Compassion Training - A Pilot Study.” Psychiatry Research. Neuroimaging 304 (October 30, 2020): 111155. doi.org/10.1016/j.pscychresns....
Misurya, Ishita, Pranati Misurya, and Anirban Dutta. “The Effect of Self-Compassion on Psychosocial and Clinical Outcomes in Patients With Medical Conditions: A Systematic Review.” Cureus 12, no. 10 (October 17, 2020): e10998. doi.org/10.7759/cureus.10998.
Phillips, Wendy J., and Donald W. Hine. “Self-Compassion, Physical Health, and Health Behaviour: A Meta-Analysis.” Health Psychology Review 15, no. 1 (March 2021): 113-39. doi.org/10.1080/17437199.2019....
Thomason, Sarah, and Nima Moghaddam. “Compassion-Focused Therapies for Self-Esteem: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” Psychology and Psychotherapy 94, no. 3 (September 2021): 737-59. doi.org/10.1111/papt.12319.
Torrijos-Zarcero, Marta, Roberto Mediavilla, Beatriz Rodríguez-Vega, María Del Río-Diéguez, Inés López-Álvarez, Cristina Rocamora-González, and Ángela Palao-Tarrero. “Mindful Self-Compassion Program for Chronic Pain Patients: A Randomized Controlled Trial.” European Journal of Pain (London, England) 25, no. 4 (April 2021): 930-44. doi.org/10.1002/ejp.1734.
Zessin, Ulli, Oliver Dickhäuser, and Sven Garbade. “The Relationship Between Self-Compassion and Well-Being: A Meta-Analysis.” Applied Psychology. Health and Well-Being 7, no. 3 (November 2015): 340-64. doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12051.
Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
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[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at: kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@letsgrowandprosper6562]

I was taught that being kind to myself is selfish and my role as a girl/woman is to take care of others…….siblings esp. brothers, parents, children. Been doing it since I was 5 and I am 40 now, I am tired!

[@ppll7020]

I can resonate. I'm 47 years now. I'm learning to take care of myself finally. As I have no contact with family of origin. I'm unlearning that self care isn't selfish. I have all the right to care for myself!!

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you. What tools from the video are you planning to use to increase self compassion?

[@mosim9691]

@@ppll7020 I'm learning to give myself permission for self care. Your comment is encouraging! Thank you!

[@letsgrowandprosper6562]

@@DocSnipesThis year, I have been practicing saying no to unreasonable family demands. At first it was tough, I felt guilty and second guessed myself a lot but I stuck to it and it’s getting easier. I also started therapy in June and my therapist really helps validate my feelings while providing me with tools to improve how I feel, treat and talk to myself. I am working on being mindful of my thoughts at the moment. I also find that I have time for myself now so I have been enjoying long walks and joined a Zumba class. Thanks for asking doc, I really appreciate your work!

[@toby7582]

Same! At 40 we're finally allowed to take care of ourselves and the sad thing is that we actually could have helped others out a lot more if we would have spent a little more time being, "selfish" and actually taking care of ourselves.

[@DocSnipes]

Do you think self-compassion helps you be more compassionate with others?

[@mkoz3093]

Yes, it probably would help but many people put themselves last.

[@tnt4648]

No, not exactly! I am very compassionate towards others, just Not for myself 😢. I'm working on it and getting better 🙏🏽

[@mkoz3093]

@@tnt4648 Good for you!!❤

[@JR-dt9ie]

Yes

[@GraeMatterz]

@@tnt4648 I can relate. I treat myself very badly. I'm very hard on myself, to the point that it would be considered abusive if I did it to others. I have a lot of compassion for others even when they treat me badly, but still think I deserve that bad treatment because that's what I grew up with.

[@DocSnipes]

What do you do (or are you going to start doing) to improve self compassion and model self compassion for the people around you?

[@rickkillian2378]

Since I started learning about narcissism I've been taking cate of the self and connecting to my inner child through meditation. Lisa A Romano has helped with that. Dr Ramani Durvasula has helped me understand why my father treated me the way he did and why my mother was letting out happen.

[@rickkillian2378]

I've been doing well so far

[@samiauddin9350]

When I catch myself being self critical- (often it’s under the radar and I don’t catch it)- I’m going to change what I say to myself. I realized being self critical doesn’t get me results and being self compassionate doesn’t prevent results. That’s a big step for me

[@billthelen6524]

Compassionately journaling about my day is a great idea.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching, @Bill. Yes, it is. What other strategies would you say would help you in developing self compassion?

[@MrDan92102]

as always, love every single one of your videos and SO GRATEFUL they're not full of interrupting commercials and can listen straight through entire talk - LIKED AND SUBSCRIBED

[@DocSnipes]

I truly appreciate you watching. If you don’t mind me asking, how are you planning to start to improve self compassion?

[@style-city]

been divorced for four years now and this was the most helpful session i had gotten, thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

You're so welcome! I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video

[@billthelen6524]

Rewriting my negative critical thoughts to a positive compassionate thought or response on paper is very good advice.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching.

[@toby7582]

I'm using chatbots to rewrite my negative thoughts into positive ones.

[@billthelen6524]

Thank you Dr. Snipes for reminding me that problem solving is part of distress tolerance. Thanks for covering how to properly handle our emotions.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for sharing

[@ashleywessel780]

My god your channel is great. Thank you for the care and detail that you put into these videos. You are doing a great service to us all🙏

[@FrenchTwist]

A wise educator advised me that when dealing with students, we don't know what they'ren dealing with... So true

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. How are you planning to start developing self compassion?

[@billthelen6524]

Wow. Thank you Dr. Snipes. You make such a great Dialectical Behavioral Therapist

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching

[@DiscordBeing]

You have no idea how much I appreciate these how to videos. I treat them like serious exercises to help heal my CPTSD and they have done so much good for me. Thank you.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=CPTSD

[@DocSnipes]

What were you taught about self-compassion when you were growing up?

[@mkoz3093]

I wasn't taught. That would be selfish and sinful.

[@tnt4648]

I wasn't taught about that.

[@joyhobbs8605]

To always put others before yourself.... That my role as a woman is to take care of other people life is rough but you just keep calm and carry on

[@dlynsky]

No but i can teach my children 😊💪🏾

[@abowling5759]

That it didn’t exist; that it was all about being a dumping ground for my family 🎃and my sense of self worth did not exist unless I was doing something or being useful to them.

[@basedxrp]

Doc, I love your videos. They are so helpful in assisting me in my recovery. It also helps that you are also drop dead gorgeous. Mama mia.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching videos on the channel. What did you find most useful from this one?

[@basedxrp]

What stood out for me was having compassion for others as a way to remind me to be more compassionate to myself and to my inner child.

[@basedxrp]

It's funny I noticed I was filled with anxiety prior to responding because a friend was mentioning something to me that irritated me. I was bouncing my leg at mach 1 speeds. I noticed what was happening and had compassion for him and his situation. It helped me to have compassion for myself and soothe my inner child.

[@billthelen6524]

Self hugs are great in showing my self love.

[@DocSnipes]

Yes, they are. Thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

CEUs are available for this video at AllCEUs.com Here is a related video on Keeping Guilt from Ruining Your Mental Health kzbin.info/www/bejne/pISyhnp9ea2Kbqc

[@mickygonzales2924]

This was a very very revealing and helpful ❤video. Thank you Doc Snipes

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching

[@YeOldeGeezer]

I was naturally born with the impression to put others first (no one taught me that) and put myself last! I am tired!!

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use to start developing self compassion and view your thoughts, wants and needs as important as everyone else’s?

[@YeOldeGeezer]

@@DocSnipes be alone! 😂

[@JR-dt9ie]

Thanks Doc💝

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching

[@MM-pk4xw]

❤️ love these live talks 👏

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching.

[@laura835]

Looking good, Dr. Snipes!

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. What would you say was your favorite strategy in the presentation?

[@CeCe-fh2ix]

This is such a great video! Thank you Doctor Snipes

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. How are you planning to start developing self compassion?

[@crisscee1930]

🎯 this is SO helpful THANK YOU!!!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching. How are you planning to start developing self compassion?

[@philly111]

Thank you for sharing this video, much appreciated!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=innerchild

[@anitach5901]

Thanks for this podcast . This is exactly , what I need practise. But I can't stop to be so demand for myself It's simply. It has to be done . And never is good enough. 😉

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching.

[@anitach5901]

@@DocSnipes I really appreciate this opportunity. This is the best education psychology channel on KZbin. Happy Halloween from Ireland 🇮🇪

[@thaile6149]

Thank you so much Doc Snipes for creating all these helpful and insightful content for us! I am super grateful!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@foxie8638]

Hi Doc and - again - a big thank you for this video. I'm learning so much, I can see a big improvement in my life. To express more selfcompassion to myself, I'm trying to catch myself when I'm harsh to me. Then, I kinda separate myself in 2 in my mind like the adult me and the child me. And I try to understand the child and guide her the best I can. It's working so far and the effects are kinda unreal. I'm more kind to other, more stable in my emotion and who I am, it's like a strange and soft force coming from within like "whatever come our way, we are capable to overcome it." and I'm less affected by emotional manipulation. My decisions for my life are so much better! Wish you and all the community a great day! 😁

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching and sharing. Have a great day!

[@musiquefrique]

This is excellent … also holy trigger alert for the wounded inner child !

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@rubinus6674]

Thank you so much for your video help me a lot 🙏

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video

[@Divinefeminehealing]

Great material I love you

[@DocSnipes]

Sending love back. Thank you for watching. How are you going to start developing self compassion?

[@Divinefeminehealing]

@@DocSnipes Great question I think affirmations and positive people around me for now?

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

This is like an empaths' handbook of how to give yourself what you have given everyone else, hoping to get it back. But no one gave me the courtesy of what I gave. So it fueled narcissism in them. Now I know how to get it started with my self. And I don't want pity for my failures and fake congratulations, which is what I always got from narcs. If I give you a good idea, will you validate me with that, Dr. Snipes? No one validated me with the ideas I had but used them anyway... but only narcs would do that, and you are not a narc.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video, Kitty. I hear you, your thoughts, wants and needs are valid and important and i’m not going to try to minimize or take them away.

[@ayoladuda4415]

Thank you so much for your videos, im learning so much from them. This video helps me a lot especialy with my kids i have been doing it wrong. I am changing my ways of teaching thanx to you.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. What tools from the video are you planning to use to increase self compassion?

[@Frkpii2]

When you talk about why people don't set up or maintain boundaries I found out that it has something to do with fear of punishment, because I've been punished a lot in many different ways by my mom and also she just don't respect the boundaries I put up. She keeps violating them even though I say it in a nice way or when I get mad about it - It's just like she doesn't even hear me or see me or recognize and understand what I'm saying to her. It's SO difficult! It's like we don't speak the same language even though I try in so many ways to rephrase or try new methods to say things or do things or ask how she would want me to say things differently or..... and I know that sometimes it takes time to break a habit or just to do something different, but with her... Idk. it's the hardest person that I ever had to deal with and I hate that it is like that. I've been trying my whole life, I just can't anymore.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that. Thank you si much for watching. How are you planning to start developing self compassion?

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

Wow! This was never taught to me that there was even a thing as compassion. No one ever validated what I was going through. They wanted all my compassion (I am an empath) to go to them. My father was strictly AGAINST compassion in any way and he was angry at people who obviously needed it. But then he was a narcissist who thought all the compassion and praise should go to him. Complaining and needing compassion were the same thing and he CERTAINLY did not like anyone complaining because you would not receive your Brownie points if you complained at all. Brownie points are what you got when you obeyed him and it meant, not that you were to be thanked, but that you could stay in the family without everyone hating you. My mother was a narc and enjoyed all the pain that was being heaped on me and told that I was responsible for. The doctors told me I was overly-conscioustious, but I did not see my role of compassion that burned me out! Self-compassion for me means putting my self first for my compassion now, and seeing how much it hurts when narcs abuse me and respond with strong boundaries.

[@ripley7t429]

People are worthy because they simply are...still working on it for myself though.

[@DocSnipes]

Beautifully put. I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use to increase self compassion?

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

One form of SC that I notice that you model for us is that you pause for a second after each of the different options given in a sentence to demarcate different things, instead of slurring them all together. It is as if the person doing this is really caring whether we get it all. I can relax when someone gives me a second to absorb something instead of expecting me to pick everything just thrown at me like a lot of teachers do. It's like they make it some kind of competition about who is smarter, making it hard to learn which is what I love, not winning a competition with someone else.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for your kind words, Kitty. I am so grateful to be of help and I am grateful for you watching the video. What tips will you use to increase self compassion?

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

I expected my self to pick up all the stuff without thinking that I am NOT a machine.

[@analedo4312]

Hi Dr. Snipes, is it possible for you to talk about the human Temperament trait. The Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS It would be very much appreciated.

[@DocSnipes]

Please join me on Thursday at 4PM EST, I answer questions for free during the Ask Doc Snipes Live Q&A. You can press the bell, so that you don’t miss it. Thanks for watching.

[@scottthomas5819]

good

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. How are you planning to start developing self compassion?

[@scottthomas5819]

@@DocSnipes self compassion is my new Passion.

[@LadyPR1]

This is so good 😊

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. What are you planning to do to improve self compassion?

[@mosim9691]

Doc Snipes: This GREAT content! Do you have shorter videos? Information overload is alot for me to take in although I need every bit of this information!

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. What would you say is your favorite strategy for developing Self Compassion?

[@mosim9691]

@@DocSnipes My favorite strategy is - when I haven't completed something - to take a step back, be gentle with how I speak to myself, get back up & start over again. Example: I went to the gym this morning - got in all the strength training exercises but only put in 10 minutes cardio when I should have put in 30 minutes cardio. I gently told myself I can either get in 20 minutes on the exercise bike at home or wait until tomorrow to do full cardio. Dr. Snipes: Thank you for what you do!

[@billthelen6524]

Growing up I was taught to be the protector of my family and not to show feelings.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you. Please let me know how you will start addressing that.

[@rickkillian2378]

I was always told as a child that if I do something for myself then I was being selfish.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you. What tool are you planning to use first to develop self compassion?

[@furkandesign-art9213]

15:50 21:30 27:30 30:00 32:00 37:00

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching. :) Are those your favorite tips on developing compassion?

[@furkandesign-art9213]

@@DocSnipes yes they are. I really like your videos you are giving great tips. Other channels are just defining problems and don't tell anything for helping but you don't do that. I especially find useful the cognitive tips than other pysical tips or distraction tips or 5 senses tips. can you make a video about why we people feel like there is something wrong with us we need to fix ourselves by therapy? is that true, when we are going to be whole? how should we see purpose of therapy? like an end point to finish or a life long learning? Because some therapists videos on KZbin make me feel like that.

[@barbarasakowicz5338]

Hi, how you could make amends yourself to not be self compassion. You were repeat the sentence and I haven't got an answer to this. 😢

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. You can start by using the strategies in the video to develop self compassion

[@ilonam3365]

You cannot be compassionate in stress situations when someone threatens your life or health including barking dog. Your protection mechanism will work to fight or flight

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. Here are some videos on mindfulness that might help: kzbin.infosearch?query=mindfulness