21 Ways to Stop Worrying by Dr Albert Ellis, 1991

Lecture given by Dr Ellis in 1991, Albert Ellis Institute
Also see:
How to be a perfect non-perfectionist
• How to be a perfect no...

[@sartainja]

So, we must give up the 3 following musts: 1. I must do well 2. You must treat me well 3. And the world must be easy.

[@vladkagreen7324]

Bingo!lol

[@victorstuartcohen3083]

Love that! Thank you.

[@ivanandreevich8568]

I'm pretty sure that it would be nice if we gave up the following beliefs. Not MUST :p

[@timd8912]

Thanks jeff......

[@AxmedBahjad]

That would be a good strategy. Cheers,

[@ravikumarsingh3719]

Dr. Ellis begins by defining worry, or anxiety, as a negative emotional state that is often accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, and muscle tension. He then goes on to discuss the different forms of worry, including ego anxiety, comfort anxiety, and discomfort anxiety. Ego anxiety is worry about one's own performance and approval from others. Comfort anxiety is worry about being uncomfortable or in pain. Discomfort anxiety is worry about the world being a difficult place. Dr. Ellis then discusses how people often make themselves worry by telling themselves irrational beliefs. These irrational beliefs include: I must do well and be approved of by others. Things must go the way I want them to go. I can't stand it when things are difficult or uncomfortable. Dr. Ellis argues that these irrational beliefs are the root cause of worry and other emotional problems. He then teaches a technique called cognitive restructuring, which can be used to challenge and change these irrational beliefs. Cognitive restructuring involves identifying irrational beliefs, challenging them with evidence, and replacing them with more rational beliefs. Dr. Ellis concludes by demonstrating cognitive restructuring with a group of participants. Overall, the presentation by Dr. Albert Ellis provides a comprehensive overview of worry and how it can be treated using cognitive restructuring. Here are some additional details from the presentation: Dr. Ellis argues that worry is a learned behavior. He believes that people learn to worry by modeling the behavior of others, such as their parents or teachers. Dr. Ellis also believes that people learn to worry by catastrophizing, or thinking about the worst possible outcome of a situation. He argues that catastrophizing is an irrational belief because it is based on the assumption that the worst possible outcome is inevitable. Dr. Ellis teaches cognitive restructuring as a way to help people challenge and change their irrational beliefs. He believes that cognitive restructuring can be an effective treatment for worry and other emotional problems.

[@lingeelajohnson1977]

Thank you kindly sir!

[@jamesbutler5908]

Dr Ellis had an insight into the madness the deep rooted conditioning 😂😂😂😂

[@endrightwinglunacy]

I remember listening to this wonderfully eccentric, humorously instructive video over and over again three years ago when I was severely depressed and worried and obsessed about absolutely everything in my life to the power of 10. Although by itself, this video didn't 'cure' me (it took an unplanned visit to the ER and finding a great compatible medication for that), I took away some great lessons from it. It's bittersweet to come back here to a video that helped me so much but places me back to a time that was extremely uncomfortable. Wherever you are now Mr Ellis, thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

[@gregamenta648]

I bing listen it's helping have to keep at it

[@ytvva9686]

How are you now?

[@hassammahmoodq]

That's beautiful!

[@jamesd1737]

​@@ytvva9686😅 uh Inu no

[@Kingwayne86]

Purchased, A Guide To Rational Living many years ago and it was a life changer! Dr. Ellis is a genius!

[@misterfosterdulles]

yeah Al Ellis' approach , disputing until the 'crap falls apart '.. simple but effective. I've applied this approach, and even with my mistakes, I have totally had a great upward trend in my life, goals, according to my values... great stuff that happens to work for me

[@machumak4915]

I listen to this video over and over and over. It’s like one of those videos you don’t mind repeating. The lessons are so great and somebody here was kind enough to summarize the 3 musts. Gotta love the comments sections🤸🏽‍♂️

[@esands88]

I'm a counselor and I love Albert Ellis.

[@georgesteinfeld3971]

Studied with Al and loved his work. Funny and never failed to respond to my letters despite how busy he was. I miss him .

[@ym6176]

May God bless him, and keep him safe now. Yvonne. Kilkenny , Ireland.

[@eileenvaughan6702]

Absolutely agree .....

[@TheAnxietyGuy1]

Love the mind shift Albert Ellis brings to his teachings. Very big part to the knowledge on my channel ❤️

[@Max_Volume_Music]

Keep coming back to this video

[@alfredy80]

Thank u for posting, even in 2023

[@rukhsanazaidi629]

God I love this man so much.❤️

[@glendalewiskhaliq2387]

This man makes sense. I thoroughly, enjoyed this old video.

[@knowledgeseeker4116]

🙌 Rational Thinking for life…..Literally 👍

[@zoewaldron2899]

Wonderful. Ellis is inspiring.

[@heronguerra2248]

Universal truths taught by the Great spiritual masters; Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, and others. Here's the thing; it takes practice; no way to get around that. If we want the easy way, it doesn't exist. I've found this true in my very ordinary life.

[@jamescrook8376]

thanks to this video, I cured my ocd...

[@jamescrook8376]

@MARK V it's been a Long Time and since gotten further Check out giftedness

[@Whitb0y7tHsT]

Any tips?

[@baterickpatman]

the microphone was in someone's pocket who was fondling themselves the entire time

[@miyamotomusashi1946]

That man was genius :)

[@tenorman2764]

What a gift. Thank you for posting . Has been a great help for me

[@benniehaasbroek]

It helped me lots! Glad it did for you too! (Even though I'm breaking miliions of copy right laws. But it can stay until they through the book at me.)

[@anthonyquinn5927]

This is the way it should be!!! Worrying does nothing but bring you down!!!

[@mitch5222]

And how to stop worrying if u have health problems and no future? 😢

[@anthonyquinn5927]

Mitch hi there I am sorry that you or your family are going thru that!! There are many resources available, there are social program that can be accessed. Regarding your health is this a serious condition? Is there no medicine that can help?

[@mitch5222]

@@anthonyquinn5927 thanks. Medications give me horrible side effects.

[@anthonyquinn5927]

Mitch never give up!!!!!!!! Regarding medicine there are many variety you just need to find the right one!!!

[@knowledgeseeker4116]

Accept unfortunate circumstances. We don’t have to like it and can work on Changing it but accept it. If you can’t change it then feel sad and disappointed about it then look for some form of happiness even if it’s minuscule. We can’t control a lot of circumstances and things but seek pleasure even when it seems like it doesn’t exists. Too bad, tough cookies….now how do I find some happiness anyway- Dr Albert Ellis 🙏

[@ashleyawbrey1200]

Awesome. Brilliant.

[@mtokhi]

54:15 coping statements: I never have to do well, but it would be preferable. I can cope with stressors and adversities in the environment and usually they not always do well. I never need absolutely under all conditions what I want. I will always to some degree fall on my face, be rejected do stupid things because I'm a failable human and there is no way I'm ever gonna be perfect and infailable.

[@anthonyha2425]

I like this, really, really, really like this.

[@mikecain4109]

Fantastic! Thanks for sharing!

[@luvkrafft]

Great insight. Love his no-nonsense approach which is accessible and easy to follow.

[@bedonking]

Thanks for sharing!!!

[@MUJONYC]

Thanks for sharing this

[@TheMelody55]

Great video, Ellis is a great guy, makes everything relative. Thanks to put it on.

[@saiprasad8311]

Thank you Ellis. You keep a true mirror and sometimes it is intolerable.

[@julesd9543]

I love his approach...he makes so much sense.

[@lindahebb4832]

Thank you for posting

[@kab985]

This is great, thanks for uploading. I had heard of Ellis but didn't think to properly look into his work until now. So glad I did.

[@benniehaasbroek]

You will never look back!

[@AnaFamilyLifeCoach]

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this audio.

[@benniehaasbroek]

My pleasure. Seems to have helped a lot of people.

[@melodyglass2908]

thank you. You helped a lot. I admire you.

[@-mainstreetflushingqueensNewYo]

Dr. Ellis didn't believe in GD. Or an afterlife, but I would accept his opinion. I believe; he is still working and helping people on the other side. He was a special soul he wrote many books and was successful in his life. He didn't care about the material things in life. The main objective was helping people getting through there anxiety and their life travel in the earthly realm. He Must have gotten his angel wings from the most highest.

[@-mainstreetflushingqueensNewYo]

You have listen to Dr. Ellis opinions and lectures. To understand his thoughts and his cognitive opinions. He was outstanding soul and caring human being. Those of us who studied with him or attended his work shops were blessed.

[@hassammahmoodq]

I agree. He was absolutely amazing

[@nihkke]

Oh nice, all the more reason to respect him:)

[@bsdiceman]

Hi David.

[@yoursubconscious]

best motivational video!

[@benniehaasbroek]

Glad you liked it!

[@lizgichora6472]

Dispute the law of should, must , could , with challenging logic and reason through scientific method . Thank you Dr Albert Ellis, for philosophical coping skills.

[@rachcliffe3182]

Bennie thanks! Great for my studies! Social Work at University!

[@samueldarocha22]

This is gold.

[@renumalhotra6692]

Hi there, this is very educating.

[@timd8912]

Thank you so much......

[@benniehaasbroek]

Most welcome

[@SGTcrackey666]

Great Video!

[@ThisMichaelBrown]

Brilliant!

[@kakai7640]

Thanks Dr.

[@jdanderson915]

fantastic...

[@robertgreen5271]

Bravo and in lay person terms "clients do worry" this is ... useful for student learning a client example would have been useful though, in the way we got to know Ellis and Gloria (1965 lecture.)

[@benniehaasbroek]

Dear Ellisians! I'm unsure if all of you know about the new recording that I published a while ago. Here is the link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2KTaqaMo52tfaM Kind regards Bennie

[@SparkyWaxAll]

Thanks

[@oscillatewildly6553]

You're a legend!

[@meleshadgu5783]

Thank You, Thank you Thank You I love it , it is helpful

[@benniehaasbroek]

You are welcome!

[@igorg.8624]

Genius. I've been using his ABC's strategy to conquer difficult thoughts. He was way more effective with therapy than 99% of the pros out there.

[@edsparky7512]

he throws the truth at you … TY 👍

[@G3Number]

SENPAI I LOVE YOU

[@br4180]

He is smart and logical

[@ja5cv]

Only came across REBT recently for presentation, wish I had discovered before ...

[@bordendonna]

Bennie, great video. Did you make a list of the 21 ways?

[@antihero105]

Good practical advice. Recording starts to sound really weird around 50:00, sounds like a guitar strumming every time he speaks.

[@robertbaur3145]

Learned helplessness theory contradicts ret the only reason why any helplessness would cause worry or depression in ret if the outcome is defined as essential but given helplessness theory is experimentally shown wondering if it proves we have far less control to define an event or outcome as good bad or indifferent at will as ret seem to imply

[@jonross5597]

Genius

[@mikemiller5637]

Wow.

[@protodhamma]

1:19:20 most beautiful song

[@aquahero]

great

[@LeonidSpartanKing]

He is genius :)

[@obinnayoung]

RBT is easy and works great on humans.

[@drtroyturner7464]

As a group of Counselors we went to his Manhattan office for a lecture and demonstration when he was in his 80s and wheelchair bound with a number of assistants. Our volunteer was a biracial young lady who avoided black people, felt only politely tolerated by her so called white friends and had one friend in life...her dog..... who died last week. Paraprharasing Ellis - People disappointed you because they should always accept you?" That would be nice. "Does life always have to be nice or it's unbearable? " I think so. "So you wish that people liked you more?" Yes. "And what happens if they don't? " That's bad. "What if you were to say that I want to be liked by my friends, but if they reject me, forget them. I'm still a valuable person? What if you tried that?" I an not sure.

[@gnuPirate]

That's interesting. I assume it would have been an urbanized area? I didn't know that such an amount of tension or feelings of racial division would exist in such an area to such an extent that a lady felt always out of place based on her particular mix of colours.... although you did say she said that she "avoided black people", so that seems strange too. If she wanted a friend, she just narrowed the chances for herself. Why did she avoid black people? Was that addressed?

[@drtroyturner7464]

I did not know the lady. Seeing as we were in Manhattan, most visitors were from NYU and one only need watch a 2 street radius of passing couples and the trend of Asian females walking with white males to see just one example of how this young lady might feel like the odd woman out. My suave Co-worker prefaced that he was engaged but shocked that such a pretty lady felt so bad. He told her to be strong because he and others saw value in her. I think her endeavors such as NYU and music tastes limited her interaction with Black people. She wouldn't be the first to say that she disqualified some black men as overly aggressive thirsty and not friends with black females for lack of exposure where she grew up, but that was not explored as he had enough with addressing her feelings about being okay with being alone.

[@gnuPirate]

I suppose that makes sense from those angles. I guess I was just thinking that what is often behaviour that is attributed to "race" seems to shift with geographic and cultural shifts. ie. I imagine in America blacks (or people of any colour) in a ghetto would tend to be more aggressive in terms of getting what they want , since they don't have much to lose anyway. The same thing with say, broke / "disenfranchised" white southern males / hicks etc. (Having parallels with such things in Australia : Eg. behaviour that is attributed to Middle Eastern people seems to me to shift dramatically with culture (ie. religion specifically) and location. Insert anti-religious rant here... ie. when irrational non-evidence based beliefs don't divide people up, people mostly seem to get along okay. Of course, some individuals are just naturally over-aggressive.. They just seem to be more aggressive when they believe they have an invisible friend on their side.) But since this lady is mixing with crowds at NYU (and I imagine there would be a racial mix there) , I would think such behaviour would be different in these areas and cultures she mixed with. So I am surprised she would feel that way.... Especially if she's good looking ! I don't have personal experience in NY though. But yes , it's important people feel mostly content on their own . How on earth would they feel content with another person otherwise? So I see why that was the more important matter. Ta.

[@drtroyturner7464]

Jim Kirk I focused on my experience with him. My experience which is not governed by your rules. Obama's Audacity of Man comes to mind. right now. The previous reader enjoyed the personal touch as opposed to the generic account that you want to ordain. Since that is the angle you want, hop to it.

[@drtroyturner7464]

Don't nobody want to hear all that.

[@protodhamma]

56:31 referencing. Vitakka Santhana sutta

[@missnaoumi]

I know this is completely not the purpose of the video BUT can anyone write the names of all the songs at the end they just me so joyful 😊 please!!!

[@sauravbasu8805]

Is there any way I can get the full transcript of this whole lecture ? A transcripted version is easier for me to read, reread, highlight and make notes from. If anyone can provide a link of the transcript ( in pdf format or otherwise), that would be so welcome.

[@alfredy80]

If u want, u can give me an email and I can send it

[@mtokhi]

53:40 An effective new philosophy: Yes, I didn't do so hot this time, as I don't have to. And yes, I didn't get the love of this person now, as again I need not get. And yes, the world is uncomfortable as a life is going to be and I don't have to have it comfortable.

[@1ratoncrispin]

53:39

[@sonnyboyd10]

The BARNY song :D 1:21:00

[@manneagle3929]

52:30

[@teamcrumb]

they should hush up and listen to him. aah my pointless untimely complaint.

[@brians1902]

How does one handle a loved ones anxeities.

[@stephaniewright340]

I feel asleep

[@LurkingCrassZero]

Becomes almost unlistenable about half-way through due to mic rubbing.

[@robertbaur3145]

These talks significantly better than his books which are repetitive overly philosophical bordering on promoting apathy or I not much more than apathy

[@brandgardner211]

but anger at being treated wrongly is a great engine of social progress -- it leads to LAWSUITS. which are the main drivers of social progress (not "demonstrations", lawsuits)

[@snakedogman]

Do you HAVE to be angry to file a lawsuit though?

[@bordendonna]

@@snakedogman not always but you are probably concerned or experiencing a loss. It's okay to be angry we just don't want to stay "excessively' angry. We don't want to be stuck in that.

[@robertgreen5271]

Useful don't what the 2010s lectures could be by accademics and we need more of the Gloria case studies, therefore it is thematic? qualative? and a quanatative for student learning..

[@Theone-ou2xt]

Albert Ellis also wrote books claiming to completely cure anxiety ,his methods do not work ,if you do not believe me then read and apply his books while keeping context in your life the same as before .

[@maya9685]

And how do u deal with C- PTSD ur REBT is worthless when it comes to complex trauma

[@micheldemontaigne9726]

Maya Try dialectical behavioural therapy :)

[@Atropis88]

how do you figure? i think it’s very effective actually. has to be administered gently in those cases but at the end of the day the reason PTSD stays in a person have to do with irrational beliefs about the event, oneself, the world, possible perpetrators, etc

[@MindfulandMindless]

I use Ellis’s basic approach with those experiencing developmental, complex, and shock trauma every day and it’s very useful. Beliefs keep up chained to the past. There is additional work to be done because of the physiological nature of trauma, but nonetheless, challenging and changing our beliefs is vital.

[@MindfulandMindless]

Thatguy Overthere perhaps you should read at least one paper on trauma before you next make another completely uneducated statement.

[@MindfulandMindless]

Thatguy Overthere you’ve also eliminated education

[@yoya4766]

His work was really good. But to hear him, god doesn't he go on, and on and on. He doesn't get to the point and has such a droney way of speaking.

[@brandgardner211]

total crap

[@user-lz9rs6tz1y]

this is the best psychotherapist

[@markmiller489]

This guy changed my life