21 Words to Cut from Your Writing

[@shalaq]

Tip - most of these apply to your narrative writing but not your dialogues. People are sloppy, people use little vocabulary, so keep that in mind.

[@1993Michoacan]

I was looking for this comment. This is why I don't trust this "expert". He just creates this videos for views, but I don't see his work considered Award winning.

[@shalaq]

@@1993Michoacan I get it but he makes some good observations. The no.1 tip from me regarding this topic is set the tone with the language of the narrative, make a choice and stick with it. After that you should decide how formal or informal, bloated or concise your language is.

[@Scantronimus466]

I think this was implied - words to remove from YOUR voice as the writer. Bad - Suddenly, Avi saw a really big dog just outside Good - “Oh my god, Sera there’s a really, really big dog that just suddenly appeared outside,” Avi said.

[@THEmeepmopmoop]

@@1993Michoacan It’s not like he needs to be a Pulitzer Prize winner in order to know what he’s talking about.

[@nicholassinnett2958]

I'd say they can even have place in narrative writing at times. If you have different characters' points of view in a story, sometimes tinging the narration with their voice, and not just the dialogue, can work really well to keep them distinct. I get his idea, but there are ways to use these things effectively, if the story calls for them. Sometimes you should just keep the narration neutrally voiced and concise though.

[@1krani]

One thing I like to do in place of "suddenly" is simply cut a sentence off and jump to the interrupting action. Like, narration will be describing a scene where the characters are talking about how hard the rain- The lights went off. It makes the audience feel the interruption, too, you know?

[@SomeName_AlsoHandlesSucc]

Makes it more impact full, especially with the lines that separate the interrupted sentence.

[@jugglenutjones]

yo i really like that

[@snoote533]

That one is cool, as it litteraly cut it off

[@peterproductions5015]

That’s so cool, love this.

[@dryoshiyahu]

Daaamn. I felt that.

[@aijimatsumoto2322]

Thank you for encouraging a LOWER word count. One of the biggest mistakes I see new authors make is trying to increase their word count for no reason at all. They end up handing editors these 600-1,000 page monstrosities and getting rejected almost immediately. I have been a critique partner and beta reader for novels for a long time and I can't stand this new trend. So thank you for the tips on how to shorten things up and still have impact, much appreciated.

[@Scantronimus466]

Could be an artifact of our education system. How many of us were raised on having to make sure a paper was [x] words long, even if we didn’t need anywhere near that much to make a point?

[@aijimatsumoto2322]

@@Scantronimus466 That is a good point, thanks. At least there's some reasoning going on for that.

[@admthrawnuru]

@@Scantronimus466 For me it's always trying too hard to be descriptive. I let myself run wild on the second pass (first pass in my process is barebones story), and then start deleting large sections when I realize the reader probably doesn't really care about the shape of leaves on the exotic bush even if I do think the word choice is clever on subsequent passes.

[@robertpetrovich6776]

Another reason for it is simply because it can be done; word processors make typo correction a trivial task. In a typewriter, eliminating a word accidentally repeated might mean retyping the rest of the chapter (or rephrasing to keep the change from affecting another page).

[@maxwellkowal3065]

This is a product of the "word minimum" established from schooling, or at least that would make sense.

[@cptsuperstraight6924]

That was really very good.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks!

[@cptsuperstraight6924]

@@WriterBrandonMcNulty You gave excellent advice.

[@BillyLemonZest]

"Haha" I said out loud, reflecting on the irony of this comment. Just discovered you McNutty, really good lectures. I've always fantasized about being a writer. Most of my attempts are 1-2 page jokes, but I appreciate the thoughtful presentation.

[@friendlyone2706]

😁

[@custos3249]

Seems that you just should not gun for the very words you just saw.

[@PayneMaximus]

I think this is not only good for writing stories, but for normal, everyday writing. I can see it applying just fine to work emails.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Good call!

[@realityjunky]

Agreed. I look at a text or email to see what I can eliminate. Anything unnecessary gets cut.

[@protorhinocerator142]

And speaking too. Especially just, which is used the same as like. This is like a really like fun way to like do things. This is just a really just fun way to just do things.

[@PayneMaximus]

​@@protorhinocerator142 True. However, when you are speaking it's to be expected to use some filler words, such as "like" and "just", because you are speaking at the same time you are thinking. This does not apply to ANY written medium, since in those cases you have the time to organize your thoughts and express yourself appropriately. It's fine to take some pauses when speaking to craft your speech, but there's a reasonable and practical limit to how long those can be.

[@bigredracingdog466]

THEN - I taught writing for 23 years and my students often began multiple sentences in their narratives with THEN. "Then we went to the store. Then a strange man started following us. Then he started begging for money. Then we tried to find a store employee because we didn't feel safe..."

[@madelinedavis6570]

Yes, that was one I thought of too... except for certain occasions, appropriate to the pov and the sequencing, where not i cluding it would feel too abrupt? But every other sentence is *not* that.

[@ScrambledAndBenedict]

As if to prove your point, you ever see that meme where you add "Then the murders happened" to quite literally the opening line of any story? It makes it so jarring that it doesn't matter what you tack it onto. "I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Then the murders happened"

[@nicholassinnett2958]

Yeah, this sounds very awkward today, unless it's for laying out explicit instructions or procedures, or describing a list of events. Even then, it's probably better to save that for dialogue or a set of instructions, and keep it out of narration in 95% of cases. That said, it was very, very common to do it in narrative prose in older forms of English. Old English texts are full of "þa" and "þonne" (both mean "then", in slightly different senses) at the start of sentences, even if it tends to drop out in translation. If someone's trying to imitate older forms of English, it might make more sense.

[@rogeras5966]

2:07 I just like how you just repeat the word "Just" a lot, it's just very funny

[@AudioLove17]

Noticed that too 😂

[@daforkgaming3320]

Probably to showcase why it can be annoying.

[@rogeras5966]

@@daforkgaming3320 yes

[@CountCrane2065]

Take a shot for every just.

[@Standard-Mammoth-397]

20 times 😂

[@billfrankfurt5133]

I’m curious why the views are so low, he’s really good. I am not a writer, never will be. But, I still enjoy videos like this.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks for the kind words!

[@deathx88]

That suddenly became the most extremely helpful video I've seen on writing. I feel like I simply cannot express just how helpful it was. It will help my stories in a really big way. It's very nice, haha

[@boobo]

That hurt

[@thefractalchannel4833]

I have seen. 🙂

[@BigDaddyJinx]

I'm pretty sure we all see what you did there. LOL. Good job.

[@smiledawg]

I'm so glad someone did this so I can just like your comment instead of writing my own

[@sanniepstein4835]

All words have their places. "Really", for example, has a sour, ears-back sound that can emphasize a peeved statement. It can sound youthful and excited in other sentences. For a character, or an author adopting a persona, it tweaks the tone nicely. Very nicely.

[@ScrambledAndBenedict]

A lot of these rules of what words to use or not use go right out the window when writing actual dialogue, I feel. You can break these rules to develop characters. Perhaps throw in a lot of "justs" into a sentence to make them seem flustered or panicked, "Just, I just got here and I swear it was just like that!" Or use a lot of "verys" or "thens" to make the character seem less intelligent by giving him less vocabulary. Or not have a character ever use contractions to give their speech an almost robotic feel, "I can not do that. It would not be proper for me to do that." Improper dialogue actually is one of my all-time favorite jokes: malapropers. Where characters use the wrong word, thinking it's the right one. Archie Bunker of All In The Family was the master of them: "Making suppository remarks about our country," "You have turned into a pyronymphiac," and "It’s a well known fact that capital punishment is a detergent to crime!"

[@kegginstructure]

The distinction has to be that when writing in 3rd-person omniscient style, you must be more specific and less generic in your descriptions. When handling the dialog of a person of lesser education or some ethnic traits, ALL of the listed words are fair game as needed to convey the person's characteristic behavior.

[@lutravelstheworld]

Sometimes the most helpful videos have little views. This video made me a better written already. With the last examples, not only did you explained how to fix the "he smelled..he touched..." issue, but you actually kept your word count low as you were speaking. I appreciate you making it easy for us to understand.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching, and let me know if there's another writing-related subject you'd like me to cover!

[@killerpinkart6173]

"This video made me a better written already". Whelp.....what was it like BEFORE this then????

[@GaiaCarney]

@@killerpinkart6173 even the best writtens need editoors

[@hodarov1564]

@@killerpinkart6173 Oh no, somebody's reply had one grammatical error! Time to be a prick about it. Oh, and by the way, you used your fullstop past the apostrophe. Which is grammatically incorrect.

[@killerpinkart6173]

@@hodarov1564 Irregardless of you're opinion, my grammer was in fact correct.

[@MyWorld-eb9oz]

I like how you approved of just using the word said. I'm afraid to use it because it's too simple, so it's nice to know it's fine to use.

[@Aelda69]

"Said" gets old real fast. I use different descriptors for replies and statements because an emotion can be carried by words. Saying "he/she/they said" constantly is strange to me. How did they say what they said? Should I then write an entire paragraph describing how they said it? Or should I have a character enter a scene during dialogue and "announce" what they are saying, instead of just saying it? "they rudely shouted" "he said sternly" "she stated harshly" There are different kinds of speech that indicate a person's state-of-mind in that moment. When I write, what my characters are saying is just that; what they are saying. There is no need for deeper meaning behind their words unless it is intended. The way my characters act and feel is not up for debate or interpretation by the reader.

[@wonjoonsuh4004]

I am a writer in Korea, righting in Korean language, which has totally different structure, but it is amazing that I can still benefit a lot from advices in this video.

[@ArgentavisMagnificens]

what are you writing, if I may ask?

[@semmiesem9]

@@ArgentavisMagnificens Korean words

[@_BiologyMatters_]

*writing

[@shotgun2a]

"Just" is the most overused and improperly used word in the entire English language. The inclusion of it on this list is what earned my thumb's up!

[@thegoodgeneral]

That’s just what I was thinking.

[@geriwan1]

7:03 Hi Brandon, in Germany we say "Nett ist die kleine Schwester von Scheiße." which translates to "Nice is Shit's little sister." When I was learning my job as a journalist 40 years ago, one of my teachers would share his "3 eternal rules": 1. paint pictures in your readers' heads, 2. be precise, 3. Keep your sentences short and simple, Your writing is not about you showing off your prowess of chiseling tapeworm sentences but about your audience and how to keep them interested. Any text is pointless if nobody reads it. And it's amazing how many people, even pros, don't pay attention to this. So a big thank you from me for carrying on the torch.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks for sharing this! Glad you enjoyed the video

[@miramari732]

I think that when cutting out words like three first examples in narrative is beneficial, using them with intention to distinguish characters in dialogues is great. If one of characters overuses "very" and other "just", after second chapter you don't need dialog tags and everyone knows who is speaking XD

[@robertowens3329]

Thank you. I did a word search for "That" in my manuscript. After several tedious hours I had in fact trimmed down about 50%. Spot on. Painful but worth it. The writing is much tighter now.

[@silverletter4551]

My 30+ page first chapter has two instances of it in dialogue. And it would be hard to replace. "Who said that?" for example.

[@justkaeden5959]

"If you can just cut the word just--" I GET IT

[@HadrianQueen]

Thank you for this! I hate using the words “feel” and “look” and didn’t know how to make a stronger sentence. This helps so much!

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Awesome, glad it helped! Best of luck with your writing

[@Aelda69]

"feel" is better used for dialogue, same with "look."

[@jonathanfrancesco3305]

A few disagreements with the gun/car ones. Not necessarily in principle, as I get the idea of adding specificity over vagueness. Not wasting opportunity to characterize, etc. Where I think writers need to be careful is being mindful of the POV. If the POV character is one who would notice things like the type of car or the type of gun, then I agree it's good to include it. But a lot of POV characters wouldn't notice that detail, or if they would, they might not notice it in the moment. This could actually be a good video or two itself.

[@Candlemancer]

I think anyone would notice the difference between a handgun and a rifle at least, and that has quite a big impact on what can or will happen with those people.

[@PresidentHotdog]

If it's in dialogue, I don't think any word is off limits. It should be tailored to the character. I avoid repetition as much as possible though.

[@PixelSubstream]

Reminds me of adventure games where you play multiple characters and make them analyze the same items and they both make different observations

[@aaronleverton4221]

Suddenly a nice car just pulled up out outside and a dog got out with a gun. He felt that none of this seemed right. In fact, he felt that all of this really seemed very, extremely wrong.

[@PresidentHotdog]

@@TheIndieOcean it shows you have no interest in fine automobiles

[@Millstone99]

This is great. I agree with all of them except "replied." As an editor with 25 years of experience, I find this perfectly acceptable and as invisible as "said." However, I do have a problem with "responded" because that bumps me.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks!

[@curtismmichaels]

The word "nice" can be a great way to build mystery around a character. When referred to as "nice" by a variety of people who've had a variety of experiences with this person, a reader can easily be led to the "nice" person turning out to have a shallow public face that covers some deep darkness... if it's not overused, of course.

[@DavidMay-cc1xo]

I think what this video boils down to is, if you're writing a book or some story to engage people, you want to be descriptive and detailed in developing characters, settings, and events. But in everyday life, we're not writers engaging people, we're just trying to relate facts of events and very often we are vague when speaking to one another. You mentioned "big" from a child's perspective, so I think in creating dialog between characters, it's fine for a character on the phone with someone to say "let me call you back, a car just pulled into the driveway" or "my wife seems angry, meet me at the bar." But you shouldn't set the scenes up that way.

[@eduardoyamaha7279]

I'm not even a writer, but your videos make me wanna create a story or something. And I always learn something from them, thanks!

[@gameprogramme]

Not sure if you’re still reading the comments 3 years on, but I liked everything you had to say. I especially liked how most of your points were explained with counter-examples. I wanted to point out one that I liked that really jumped out at me. I quite like what Stephen Sondheim did with “nice” in Into the Woods: “You’re so nice. You’re not good, you’re not bad You’re just nice. I’m not good, I’m not nice, I’m just right. I’m the witch. You’re the world.” Probably the most effective use of the word “nice” I’ve seen.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Yeah, if you can use a word in a creative way, it can score you points for sure. Thanks for watching!

[@richardmartin7708]

my favorite is from mash, where frank burns says, "it's nice to be nice to the nice". ultimate blandness.

[@therealsirchewy]

I use a lot of these words often because I'm just a beginner writer, not that I'm lazy or just want to rush the story or anything, but because sometimes I genuinely don't know any better. But this video definitely helps a lot, and I hope will improve my writing going forward.

[@Thisisthewaypolymerclay01]

In only fifteen minutes you clarified SO much. I didn't think it would be so interesting and helpful, so thank you! I'm not completely sure of alll of them, but I know for a fact that I am guilty of using the word 'seem' a considerable amount of time, while subconsciously knowing it's a weak and lazy word 😂 I'm gonna need to fix that!

[@artOVtrolling]

“I grabbed the coat hanging on the door” “That was” is technically correct, I believe. In it’s absence, the sentence can be construed as “I grabbed the coat while I was hanging on the door.” I know it realistically wouldn’t in the modern era, but sometimes you need “that” to be grammatically correct.

[@admthrawnuru]

Dialogue tags are the bane of my existence when writing dialogue. I'm not sure I agree with you here though, repeated use of "said" drives me up the wall as a reader, but you certainly have a good point that trying too hard to vary the tags gets distracting.

[@apersonlikeanyother6895]

The beauty of ... advice like this is the fun of creating stories that break the rules.

[@MyWorld-eb9oz]

I don't think I've ever heard someone use the word just more times at once than when you were talking about not using it

[@serenity1967]

Hey, Brandon. I just discovered your videos, and I think they're great. I've been a book editor for 28 years, and you share a lot of the same ideas that I impart to my authors. In doing developmental edits, I tell my authors to give scenes the "George Bailey test." That means, ask yourself: if this scene had never been born, would anyone miss it? I get a lot of positive reactions from that concept. Keep up the good work. I'm going to subscribe to your channel.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

The George Bailey test sounds brilliant (I'm a huge Wonderful Life fan). Thanks for sharing this!

[@claudiag8823]

The problem is: *I* as the author would miss it because I knew it was there, but had to cut it^^. But objectively, you're of course right

[@normanwhite6677]

@@claudiag8823 My brother and I do a radio show. When we have to leave an interesting fact out about a song or artist he always says, "The audience won't know what we didn't tell them." But still, we're in love with what we wrote.

[@claudiag8823]

@@normanwhite6677 yes, that's true, but nonetheless hard🙈

[@normanwhite6677]

@@claudiag8823 "Excruciatingly hard" is the phrase I would use. 😀

[@muhammadujaama631]

I just gave you a thumbs up because I just love how you just added the word "just" in just about every sentence. Just really very clever 👏

[@shawn576]

Great tips. I'll try my best to remove these words from my writing. What I find interesting is that my writing has improved significantly since I have started working with a lot of people who use English as their second or third language. The way we talk face to face can be remarkably difficult to understand when written as text and sent to someone from another country. Sentences need to be much shorter and use as few commas as possible. I grew up here, so my writing naturally contains layers of apposition that a lawyer would be comfortable reading, but an engineer from Malaysia has difficulty understanding any of it.

[@claudiag8823]

This is interesting because I experience the exact oposite. I'm German and because I have a difficult time explaining some things due to missing knowledge like everyday speech, my sentences tend to become very long, very constructed, very wooden. Someone whose mother language is English would express some things way different than I would (and also shorter).

[@ellethom]

As a fprmer teacher of English and Language Arts and English as a second language, I agree with you. I have found that the lessons I learned teaching the language to those not native hacve enriched my own ablilities.

[@thywordistruth2720]

Other words that can be cut are had, also, still, actually, however, and there are times where a prepositional phrase can be removed because it ends up being redundant. For example, "She drove away from the store" can be shorted to "She drove away" if you already mentioned the character was at the store in a preceding sentence.

[@BrandonCase]

My brain just couldn't help counting just how many times you used just after the just section.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Just have to just make sure you just don’t let it just distract you from here on

[@indian_coaster_enthusiast]

Vague words like 'nice' can be used to create conflict and get insight into a character. For example, to write a self-centered character, you can have him or her reply with 'nice' to everything in a conversation, regardless of what's actually being said. It shows that he or she is not interested in listening to the other person and is probably waiting to get an opening to start talking. It's all about how we use these words.

[@ItsRainingCornflakes]

I have a slight disagreement with the replied one: if a character asks a question, I find it less distracting if the reply is tagged "replied" or "answered" or the like, as when it just says "said" I'm usually distracted and have to take a moment to determine if they were answering the question or ignoring it. But other than that, yes, you should avoid using things like "replied" or "stated"

[@shambhav9534]

Exactly. "Said", "replied", and sometimes, "asked" convey just the perfect amount of information, while also allowing you to simply ignore them.

[@nihilist1680]

I am just going write my first book. This video is big help.

[@eepruls]

I'm not a writer but I find your videos fascinating!

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thrilled to hear it! Thanks for watching!

[@eepruls]

@@WriterBrandonMcNulty You are extremely clear and your examples are excellent. When I was in University writing science papers, I soon realized just how many unnecessary words we use that add nothing other than to make it less concise, redundant, and longer. I'm intrigued with how story writers land up doing the same thing. When I was in English class, 'said' was considered 'boring' or 'lazy' and we were encouraged to use other more descriptive words and change them up. For example, "replied John" might be used first followed by something else next time John says something ("he responded."). What you say in this video makes total sense and I appreciate your insight!

[@lexietalionis]

1. very 2. extremely 3. really 4. just 5. suddenly 6. replied 7. haha 8. seem 9. that 10. big 11. nice 12. car 13. gun 14. bug 15. dog 16. saw/sees 17. heard/hears 18. felt/feel 19. smell 20. taste 21. (anything that can be a contraction)

[@GronaldS]

In both my writing and acting classes at university they'd chastise us for using "thing" the vaguest of placeholders

[@shambhav9534]

You do require it when you have to convey that exact sense of vagueness.

[@cekane88]

This video was massively helpful! I was stuck in my writing and I wasn't sure why it was such a slog both to write and read it, and it turned out I was making a lot of these mistakes. Now that I know how to spot these problems it's much easier not to make them. Thank you!

[@tattoodude8946]

I think one of my favorite quotes from another of these "words to avoid" videos was "when you use the word suddenly, you 'suddenly' take your reader out of the action." Sure enough, I removed the word from my story (for the most part) and it read so much smoother and those sudden happenings, happened that much more suddenly! 😃 On another of these subjects - taste is a tricky one but I find that you don't really have to describe taste so much as saying what was in the mouth or on the lips. Something like "wiping the blood from his lips" or "he spit the dirt from his mouth" give a description of taste without saying "it tasted like". Also remember the word flavor is a good swap too - "the dirty, metallic flavor of the coin he spit to the ground" (not sure what is happening there, but it sounds compelling...😂).

[@idongesitusen5764]

Great example with “just”. Have to keep this in mind for editing.

[@AlexReynard]

This video actually made me feel really good about myself, as I'd already realized a lot of these over trial & error. If I use generic words like this, it's often in dialogue to show that a character is just normal/basic. Also, the word 'snotfuck' typically doesn't belong in most genres.

[@AlexReynard]

@@Jodd_purrz I like you.

[@ShowtimeDr]

I personally do my best to not use "was" in anything but dialogue. The car was red. The bright red car.

[@NaDa-kw2fu]

Nice to see a male writing advice vid. The girls are great, and I've watched many but you always get the feeling that they are very female author focused. Quite a lot of the advice is generic to all writers but when you review the books they've written, they tend to be teenage girl romances, disguised as something else. If you ( or anyone else) can suggest other male writers worth spending time watching, then would love to see them. Sanderson excepted - I've watched most of his. Great work - thanks.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks for the kind words! And if you want great video essays on storytelling, check out The Closer Look or Lessons from the Screenplay. If you want vlog-style videos like mine, Tyler Mowery does some of those (although he does many video essays as well). I think dudes tend to gravitate toward video essays. To be honest I'd love to do some more video essays like my Mandalorian video on writing antiheroes, but they are VERY time consuming. You have to write a script, gather film footage, overlay the footage over the audio, etc. On the other hand, with a vlog I can mark down a few points, speak my mind on camera, then edit things down. I try to do a video every Thursday, so vlogging works better for me.

[@sematy4948]

I'd recommend Terrible Writing Advice. He uses animations with a lot of humor and satire to give advice to various topics he wants to talk about, including novels, movies, video games, DnD campaigns, and even arguing in SocMed. XD Also, a big plus for him is the ad section of his videos with various villain archetypes and an overarching story about them. :D

[@kurtisgoodrich1599]

Sounds good

[@kirajlerner]

"the girls are great." Maybe you should start watching videos by women; you might find them challenging but at least you won't write teenage boy wish fulfillment fantasies, disguised as something else...

[@NaDa-kw2fu]

@@kirajlerner I understand what you are saying. I did try many female authors advice videos as they were the predominant ones available. So maybe 150-200 videos spread across a dozen female authors/editors. I disagree with the 'wish fulfillment' sentiment as that's what books are. The desire to escape and immerse yourself in an other worldly environment. Girls like this too ie: "she discovered her powers on her 16th birthday..."

[@TheThinkersBible]

These principles apply to fiction, nonfiction, even documentary films and books. Excellent list with a rich range of examples. Thanks.

[@a-zlan7372]

Suddenly, it just made sense to just cut out the word just from my writing.

[@jimihendrix23456]

Seems like a very good idea that you just had, really.

[@jerbganderwood8433]

That's very, very nice.

[@friendlyone2706]

😁

[@anotherblonde]

I am 70yo, English by birth. My peeve is American writers who attempt Regency fiction not knowing there were no city blocks, sidewalks or fire escapes in Regency times. That reins were used and not straps on the bridle of a horse. Just reading one Georgette Heyer novel will fully acquaint any writer from anywhere of exactly what to put in and what terminology to use for it: for those new to Ms Heyer I recommend my personal favourite: Faro's Daughter. Am new to your channel and find it explains the shortcomings of American authors. Have just enjoyed my first Meagan Pearce "Sweet Revenge".

[@CornerTalker]

“If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.” - George Orwell “Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.” - William Strunk “I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter." ― Blaise Pascal, (Letter 16, 1657) “Examine every word you put on paper. You'll find a surprising number that don't serve any purpose.” ― William Zinsser, On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing

[@daforkgaming3320]

I love how all of these quotes agree on cutting out unnecessary words but they all go about it differently. One of them highlights that’s in unnecessary while the first one agrees it’s always a good option

[@anthonybush6444]

“This really is a very extremely nice list. I just saw and heard a lot that I can just take away and just add to my writing,” I replied. “Hahaha.” All joking aside, I genuinely learned a lot from this video, and I will definitely be incorporating as much of this as I remember into my writing.

[@shadozealot3644]

Great video overall. Just really very helpful. I've gotten conflicting advice from other writers on a few things, & I'd love to know what others think. 1) I'd been taught NOT to overuse "said," basically the exact opposite advice Personally, I find a bunch of dialogue lines using "said" annoying, but would consider changing if I'm in the major minority. In my own writing, I like to avoid normal dialogue tags whenever possible, instead using an action by the speaking character ("ran his hands through his hair," "leaned forward," etc.) to break up & tag dialogue. Thoughts? 2) I had also been taught that outside of dialogue, you do not use contractions (I have stuck to this, although I personally would rather use contractions in many instances) Would love to get additional insight on those specific ones!

[@Saerthen]

The problem I have with "said" - if a whole chapter is about several characters talking to each other, you can't use "said" every time, you need at least some variety.

[@forutube244]

Brandon-"I hate the word just". Also brandon within 40 seconds--just X 20. 🤣🤣🤣

[@Josh.Proctor]

Good word check list for the editing process, especially for a beginning writer. Write the story out as it comes to you. Then, at the end of your session, check for each of these words, and see if you can replace the word or rework the sentence to exclude the elementary words where possible. And then the more you write and use the word list, I'm sure you'll eventually remember the word list as you go and avoid them to make less work on the editing side. Excellent video.

[@Defiant1940]

One mistake I made almost at the beginning of my novel was the phrase 'He thought to himself.' A friend quickly pointed out that he could hardly have thought to anyone else!

[@lazygardens]

If you had written "He thought to his friends" ... we could be in a different genre.

[@Karlosovic77]

This is your best video yet as it's great advice for all types of writing. I do a lot of formal and technical writing and I often advise people to lose superfluous words like "I think" to start a sentence; if you're writing it, it's obvious that's what you think.

[@me-myself-i787]

Personally, I think that using "I think" helps to separate facts from opinions.

[@Karlosovic77]

@@me-myself-i787 if you're writing fiction it doesn't matter. If you're writing non-fiction it shouldn't be opinion unless it's a direct quote. Either way it's superfluous to write "I think" (and "personally", for that matter).

[@friendlyone2706]

@@me-myself-i787 I've always used it that way, but have recently discovered most don't differentiate between a think versus know assertion, so have been working harder to present possible insights (versus what seem to me an unquestionable conclusion) as the probing thought stage they are. Both speech & writing, forces more thinking.

[@kalekain3521]

I hear the opposite advice about “replied.” I’ve been told you want to avoid using “said” because it’s boring, and have always been advised to replace it with more varied verbs.

[@indigoziona]

Ymmv but too many different verbs like "remarked" "responded" "murmured" "commented" "interjected" etc doesn't add to the narrative and can get distracting, whereas "said" is bland enough that it is basically invisible. But otoh words that describe how someone is speaking can add tone, e.g. "whispered" "yelled" "growled" "muttered".

[@kalekain3521]

@@indigoziona Yeah kinda my thought as well. I think as long as they bolster the narrative, they are okay to use.

[@ricimax]

This was extremely helpful. Others have gone through, saying "do this and that" but they never give examples. Your examples here made it click. So thank you.

[@DefektiveEnvy]

Thanks for this! A lot of these are simple fixes that really do make a difference in the quality and strength of writing. Good stuff to be aware of in my own.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks for watching!

[@paytonschiefelbein3472]

This writing channel is really very good. Edit: This channel is brilliant.

[@brucefreadrich1188]

I hear you. Just did a major edit. This guy has some good advice, but this list is a gold nugget. More help in less than 15 minutes than most writing courses.

[@danlewis7707]

I think another great exercise is to read through your writing, or use word processing to look for repetitive descriptors. Words like 'terrific' or 'awesome'. Anyone who has read 'Twilight' or 'Catcher in the Rye' might know what I mean. It might also help to write down key descriptive information about all your characters, try and do this by scene and connect them as best as you can. Giving a character Blonde hair and Green eyes in chapter one and then referring to their raven-black tresses and smoldering eyes the color of a stormy sky on chapter 10 will really confuse your reader. Information you give to your reader should be for a purpose. That information shouldn't change unless your purpose has, or your characters change it.

[@brankobulovic167]

I do not write at all except for emails and short posts like this one - to me, it looks like it is all about logic - one of the examples of "how to avoid 'that'" is quite illogical - in terms of syntax it is a mix of a dangling clause and a confused pronoun reference. What is "Twilight"?

[@danlewis7707]

@@brankobulovic167 Sparkly vampire stalks teen in Portland, also werewolves.

[@trequor]

​@@danlewis7707YOU ARE FAKE NEWS! ... it was Washington, not Oregon lol

[@trequor]

It gives me great satisfaction to see Catcher in the Rye compared to Twilight. What an overrated, overwritten piece of garbage.

[@vulpinemachine]

"So" is a word that I have to intentionally get rid of in my own writing. I don't know if it's one that other people overuse but I definitely do!

[@PatrickAshe41]

I do use "just" too much; I deliberately do a ctrl+f to check every usage in each of my books. I have a similar issue with "but", *but* I think it tends to flow well, even if it's used often. In my latest novel, I got into a habit of starting narrative sentences with "And -" *and* subsequently did a ctrl+f for that and removed some.

[@KasumiRINA]

I deliberately avoid "but" when shitposting online because "I am not racist... BUT" is such a meme I hear Jojo theme playing every time I see that word. Yet, although, however are also dangerous. Best to avoid sounding like a bigot making excuses altogether.

[@csk24816]

Apparently I also use "just" too much. I don't know if I would have even noticed that he used it so many times, if he hadn't told us!

[@claudiag8823]

Spot on; I use these three way too much as well. While proofreading, I sometimes cringe and get embarrassed at my own writing for using them so much^^. Good to know I'm not alone in this.

[@Megawatt]

“Suddenly” can be tricky to weed out.

[@restoredtuna8264]

There is an exception to the haha rule. A character using it as dramatic sarcasm. i.e. “I will fight them all” says John, drawing his sword. “Ha! You won’t even make it through the door!” Said Sophia This can be written differently to exclude the ha, and not too much will change but in this case I think it does some character work to show how exactly she laughs, which adds to her reaction differently than “she laughs” What do you think?

[@claudiag8823]

I would totally agree with you on that because this is not a simple laugh but a challenge, sarcasm, baiting someone, whatever. And in that instance, I think it is appropriate.

[@trequor]

"Ha" and "haha" are fundamentally different.

[@chickenman297]

She struggled with the killer knowing full well her very life was in danger. Also, car and gun are okay if the objects have been described before. The dude wielded his 6-shooter with malice. He aimed the gun at his opponents head.

[@russellvitranoiii3504]

I really liked this video... but I sort of disagree with "replied." I get what you're saying about shortening sentences and keeping it simple enough to avoid distracting the reader, but I've always felt that variety words can add a sense of tension or even conflict (she retorted/chided/taunted); they can add to what you talked about in some of your other videos about dialogue, where the characters attack and counterattack. "Said" just doesn't do that for me.

[@darkbandit6717]

Thank you so much for this. I went from 256 uses of that to 110 in my current work in progress. This video is so helpful.

[@sealink129]

For most of these words, I’d say that you shouldn’t cut it out entirely (unless you really want to), but cut it down to just using it for dialogue purposes and very rarely for everything else. The thing about dialogue is that when people talk, most are never perfect in their grammar and word choice. When we talk, most people choose the simplest words to use to convey general ideas and thoughts. So while someone’s neighbor could be better described as compassionate and caring, in conversation, that person may rather describe them as ‘nice’ for quick conversation. Describing words like that and ‘dog’ are also more appropriate when you’re describing something where details are very unimportant and that something is mentioned for arbitrary reasons. For example, if your character is walking in a park at night and they see a dog barking at them, and it’s not important to the character, it merely is there for atmosphere and setting, it may not be necessary to describe the breed of the dog, or even whether it’s a baying, a woof, a yap, or a howl that the dog is doing. Just ‘The dog barked at me as I passed it, but I paid it no mind,’ is a substantial enough sentence to convey the detail without going into the specifics. Same with something like this: ‘“The neighbors are nice enough, but they seem a bit odd to me.” I said to my brother.’ You could just as easily substitute several of those words for better ones, but in dialogue, it’s not always necessary if that’s how the character naturally speaks.

[@WynneL]

I see your points, but the one exception to what you said is said. For me, "said" is incredibly distracting when it's frequently said. I've been reading the Dresden Files to my partner, and I said to him that it sticks out like a sore thumb how he's said "said" so often. Murphy said, I said, he said, she said... There may be a better way than just replied or stated, but at least those describe how something is said: replied points at something said in response to another. Stated is something said matter-of-factly or distantly. Said, however, gives no information. It could be said better--"Murphy chimed in," "I shot back," "he laughed." There are better options than said, almost always--like action descriptions like "Murphy shrugged. 'Not my jurisdiction.'"

[@ramonapalmer2479]

Thank you very, very, very much! Just kidding. After using prowritingaid (love the program) and grammarly, I checked a couple of my books. I repeated the word "Just" over 30 times! OMG - in my first book, I may "have" (another word that needs cutting now and again) never recognized my overuse of the word without your video. Both the writing aids did not highlight my use of "just" - thank you again.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Haha what prompted me to make this video was a friend of mine using the word "just" 400+ times in her novel. I just couldn't stand seeing it so much.

[@KasumiRINA]

People should keep supporting Grammarly, it's a Ukrainian startup. Your good writing contributes to provide medical supplies for wounded Ukrainians!

[@ignacias1]

Brian, I wish that I would've seen this three years ago. Over the last three years I've written two manuscripts. I'm half way through the third manuscript. I started on this journey earlier than expected. I had planned to write a book after I retired. I'm 62. I never thought that I'd be working on a trilogy. I recently watched a video about the ten words writers should avoid. The person wasn't helpful. They came across as mocking anyone guilty of using the words on the list. You on the other hand are positive force! I learned so much today! I have tha story, now I need to polish it. Thank you!

[@michaelmclarnon6421]

Excellent video. Short and to the point

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Glad it helped!

[@Alleyoop1-7Fanfiction]

Ooooh I’m definitely guilty of seems 😅 Omg the saw/sees tip is SO stellar

[@TheInfamousBertman]

Thanks for your videos man, they're very helpful.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks for watching!

[@darylking265]

Limit the use of the word 'just'. Unless you are telling people not to use the word 'just', in which case you should use the word 'just' often enough that it feels like every other word is 'just'. This will illustrate why you should limit its use. Love the advise.

[@desertgecko4549]

7:04 Number 11, "Nice." Now what will I call my favorite French town? Sometimes it's okay to use these words, but in general they should be cut. I checked my WIP, a 4,200-word short story for which I've not yet run my editing checklist (item #14 is "search and destroy 'just'"). I found four uses of "just," and I think all are justified. I'll paste an example where the word subtly but importantly changes the meaning of the sentence and offers readers another clue of the dynamic between the two boys. Erik wanted to compliment Shawn for his impressive diving catch, but he couldn’t just say it; that wasn’t their style. Erik leaned over with his hands on his knees, panting from trying to keep up. “Not bad,” he said, and between huffs, “for a girl.”

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Yeah, sometimes just *just* works best depending on the context. It's a word that makes your writing sound more conversational, and I think a lot of people abuse it for that reason.

[@claudiag8823]

I see where the just is justified in that case, and agree with you here

[@dimirockeropoulos6104]

It was amusing when you used the word 'just' repeatedly when explaining why not to use it in your writing.

[@t.s.adrian8785]

To search for a word like "very" using Word is difficult, because you'll get words like "silvery" or "every." Protip: in your search bar, type a space before and after the word "very" and then do your search.

[@michaelsteven5558]

Or use the "whole words" filter.

[@friendlyone2706]

All "y" ending words are suspect, so that search is still valuable.

[@DFMoray]

Can’t you put quotes around a word for this?

[@Majesticon]

"car".. this is a good point... i'd include "shirt" and "house"-- maybe not fully getting rid of any of these words, but when you say we're missing an opportunity for some character building, you make a good point.

[@kevinpeoples8702]

Correct me if I’m wrong, but would most of these get a pass if they’re within a character’s dialogue? Even “Ha ha,” if the character is saying it sarcastically?

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Sarcastic "hah hah" works. Dialogue expectations differ from prose

[@DavidMay-cc1xo]

Maybe this is just me, but when writing dialog between characters, I think any change in tone (e.g., she yelled, he asked, he whispered) should be in front of the line. Usually when I'm reading, especially aloud, I try to imagine/use a voice for the character. So if I'm reading "you went to the mall without me?" she asked. I've already read the line without any inflection to make it a question. Sometimes when I'm reading dialog, I will try to look ahead to know what type of tone or voice to use, but it can become a burden. What are your thoughts?

[@UpRoaryus]

At the risk of giving away a particular strength in my own writing, an English teacher in high school gave me one of the most impactful pieces of advice in suggesting I try to avoid using "to be verbs" whenever possible. He noted that it was much more compelling to employ "action verbs" rather than stating something like "it was ___(adjective)". This would mean restructuring a sentence a little bit to make objects into the subjects, for example, and made for a more expansive vocabulary overall, as well as making those more concise sentences more dynamic and direct rather than passively observational. I was rewarded for making this kind of adjustment years later when a highly regarded professor returned an essay of mine with comments about it being "some of the most powerful prose I have ever read. Every line carries meaning, not a single word is wasted." Given that this particular professor was such a well-read individual, and someone who impressed one of my own favorite authors enough to be immortalized in his work with a character named after him, I took this as a particularly high compliment indeed, and one that I owed entirely to that high school teacher's picky criticisms. Stephen King is that author, and the character was John Coffee ("like the drink"), of The Green Mile, named for one of my favorite instructors at Emerson College whom he met, and that I managed to impress thanks to my high school teacher, Dr. John Wands.

[@trequor]

Why do you enjoy King's writing? I am an avid reader and have tried several of his books and universally despised them. I cannot understand why anyone enjoys him

[@Nathan-pq7xe]

Paragraphs are not your strong suit, however.

[@UpRoaryus]

@@Nathan-pq7xe Sorry, that is a formatting error from cutting and pasting the reply from a note where it was composed. There were paragraphs when it was written, but they didn't transfer, apparently... Fixed, I hope. Thanks for the heads up, I hadn't noticed.

[@UpRoaryus]

@@trequorAre you sure they were actually the real Stephen King's books? There's an imposter by the name of Stephen R. King who writes in the same genre in a blatant attempt to capitalize on the reputation of the better writer. They aren't all good, but I generally find his style easy to digest and stories compelling. What books have you read that you didn't care for? Did you find his actual prose problematic or moreso the storylines or content?

[@trequor]

@@UpRoaryus Reasonably sure. They could have been re-covered, but i find that unlikely considering every book had a different source. The style was also identifiable between each book. The most tolerable was Gunslinger, though the ending was ridiculously bad

[@FHT1883]

yo idk if you read comments but your videos are interesting and helpful! I've always wanted to start writing, just for fun, but despite being fluent in 2 languages I have no confidence in delivering adequate prose. I will keep your tips in mind when I finally start writing (once I've handed in my master's thesis 💀)

[@berry186]

That was very helpful 😂🤣 JK. But, seriously I enjoyed and learned so much. I appreciate it. 👏

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Haha you've learned well, thanks for watching!

[@KeysofIDproductions]

I think for the senses, the writer could first describe how it affected them personally, then translate that toward their character. IE: How does a loud noise make you feel? Does this smell remind you of something or why does this smell good/bad? Maybe a few practice sentences to get the "feel" of expression with strong, concise sentences.

[@kebabs9106]

Great video! A thing about "seem", though. Sometimes, you don't want to describe something, as it can degrade the pacing. The word "seem" implies that a character might feel something, or might not. For example: He seemed angry. Something about him seems angry, but the POV might be mistaken. I'll still agree and urge anyone to write what exactly makes him seem angry, but again, that brings up word-count, and sometimes you just need to summiraze.

[@derinwithaq5811]

I think the way "suddenly" is best used is to separate two events. There are other ways to do so, of course, but adding suddenly can tell the reader that this new event is unrelated to the previous scene. I personally don't like it when something is happening and then out of nowhere another, completely unexpected event pops up, so I like the little cushion that "suddenly" provides.

[@ArtistJoshuaWeigand]

That was just really very nice, haha

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Haha someone needs to rewatch the first few minutes

[@ArtistJoshuaWeigand]

Doesn't breaking these rules, for comedic effect, demonstrate an understanding of the rules?

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

@@ArtistJoshuaWeigand Oh definitely. I was only joking around

[@ArtistJoshuaWeigand]

@@WriterBrandonMcNulty as a suggestion, maybe words to use in writing. I like vocabulary words. What's good to use in writing and why would be really interesting. I liked the alternate examples of writing you used. Maybe something about different synonyms. Which ones work better depending of the nuance being conveyed. Thoughts for future videos

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

@@ArtistJoshuaWeigand Love your idea for a Synonym video. Maybe 10+ words that can be used in place or more common words. I could do a verb video, an adjective video, an "action scene" words video, etc. Also, when you said you liked the alternative examples I used, you mean the parts during the "That" and "Saw/heard/felt" sections? Like the black screens with text? I added those at the last minute, so if they helped, that's great!

[@DarkStar-os9pv]

I look out for the overuse of "was ***ing" (was snowing, was sleeping was running, etc.). I find this combination passive. Cutting them except when necessary for effect, picks up the pace, makes for sharper prose, and usually lowers the word count.

[@erikadancerqueen]

I think I got blackout bingo by using all of these overused words in my story lol haha (too soon)

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Haha that really just should not happen!

[@1977TA]

I use the word abruptly for situations suddenly is commonly used. I think abruptly sounds better than suddenly and it indicates to the reader something happened in a quick and unexpected way. However, I think abruptly has the same drawback found with using suddenly because it gives the reader warning that something is about to happen.

[@silvercord2694]

Dude, did you just really hack into my computer, then suddenly read my supposed short story and decided to include every word that was in it? You're extremely rude! I'm feeling very down!

[@Valkanna.Nublet]

I think 'seems' can be fine if it's in dialogue that fits the situation, or character. "What's it like outside?" "It seems quiet" It gives the image of a quick look without the need to describe every aspect, and also leaves a little suspense because it's not saying it definitely is quiet.

[@tahutoa]

7:12 "Nice" can work fabulously as part of a conclusory sentence, to tie a paragraph in a neat little bow. Like, in after painting the picture for the viewer, ending on the phrase "It's nice" or "it was nice" can be good to convey a certain feeling - that being 'taking in a moment of wholesome serenity.' like "you squeeze her shoulder, and the softness of her shirt creases between your fingers. The breeze from behind chills your soaked head, blows single threads of her hair - each avoiding the falling rain just outside your cozy stop. Her eyes are fixated on the puddle before you, following the ripples the overhang's runoff makes... trying to catch each one as they happen. You smile with one side of your mouth, and stretch your legs out, making a tight noise in your throat, then halfway melt down the steel bench. This is nice." I only just started writing again like a month ago, so maybe that's not the greatest - in particular, I was aggravated because I wasn't sure how to write "the noise everyone makes when you stretch" but I've employed some of the tips you give here. I've been greatly enjoying how concise these videos are with their points.

[@annavg7294]

That last one, I feel it. I usually use the word groaning as both the sound someone older does when they get up and when they stretch.

[@richtea615]

'Had' is one to watch out for. It makes things feel too past-tense, rather than happening in the present-tense.

[@claudiag8823]

Oh yes! I want to cry with how much I use "had", especially if I'm summarising an event that happened in the past without being an actual flashback. "Hads" in every other sentence. Repeatedly. It's horror.

[@rheaelise4540]

I like you. Subscribed

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks! Glad the channel is helping!