25 Year Old Microwave Cake Mix | Ashens

[@kroneyt1493]

18:15 - "And yeah, just give it some love." Considering what it looked like, it seems he was pretty successful in that endeavor.

[@cameronretason5073]

He films you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he'll hit you up at 3am, to microwave a cake.

[@markxxx21]

the clock on the wall says 10:30

[@topmandog1]

@@markxxx21 yeah it wasnt filmed at 3am you donut

[@jackbrothwell2375]

I didn't see "Bust a nut on the cake" in the step by step instructions

[@magggoguma9048]

@@beckigreen its just a bad joke dude, chill

[@pillbugheart]

Your profile picture is the same as my moms profile picture on Instagram, so whenever i see it i think it's my mom so hi mom

[@finninations4975]

What did becki Green say? I think they deleted the comment

[@ChanceKearns]

Finninations thats what im thinking

[@chrisa2735-h3z]

Only for the most exquisite of diners.

[@ColoredInsanity]

It's nice when two friends can get together and put a white milky fluid on a cake together.

[@PassiveSmoking]

He said to give it some love. After putting the glaze on that's exactly what it looks like they did.

[@jaydenkoopmans4425]

That “glaze” looks like something I would create on a lonely night

[@CouliousJason]

Blud i thought the exact same thing 💀💀💀

[@spykerm6]

Coom cake

[@FIXTREME]

Do it twice a day. I learned that from Wolf of Wall St.

[@DoktrDub]

It’s looks like that with added sins and off-ness

[@dianaberlin4767]

You're baking on lonely nights?

[@lowfat7348]

The cake should be renamed; 'The Semen Demon'

[@TheLarryburns84]

The Sperminator

[@lowfat7348]

Wangable Lector

[@floridaredfishin8209]

Betty Cocker

[@chtholly8084]

Jizzus Christ

[@lowfat7348]

Dicktoria Sponge Cock

[@wdfghjkl]

Chef excellence spreads his rancid love on a cake at 3am.

[@kaylaburney3789]

Oh dear lord no.

[@CoryC321]

Mother of god yes. By the way, Rancid Love would be a great name for an 80's rock band...

[@CoryC321]

GoldenPikachu Chugg Could very possibly be...

[@BubbleWrapPerson]

I believe “Death Streusel” is Hideo Kojima’s new game.

[@guilhermemuratore5352]

Nah m8, that is death stranding Death streusel is rammstein's new song

[@skudzer1985]

You cheated by using a fresh egg; you should have found one from the 90s to mix with it.

[@williamela3340]

You mean are really freakin old chicken?

[@user-74652]

skudzer1985 Perhaps he should have used one of those century eggs.

[@consolios]

yeeee that's the one

[@TazD3vilzz]

Eggs from that long ago would have dried out. It would no longer be wet. I've seen this happen to eggs 2-3 years old.

[@pictureofsky5332]

Literally impossible

[@LaynieFingers]

I'm afraid... I actually remember these! The problem is that they were more expensive than a regular cake mix, significantly smaller than a regular cake mix, and ended up super rubbery and gross. So you got to pay more, do exactly the same amount of work, and end up with tiny, crappy cake. The 80s sucked in a lot of ways!

[@AgentTasmania]

While a golden age for cinema, tv and music, food was not golden in the 80s. And as a child of 1994, I feel all games before about 2000 sucked as well

[@dncewzrd]

+AgentTasmania Are you kidding me? About all games before 2000 sucked?

[@AgentTasmania]

DNCEWZRD Without any nostalgia filter, pretty much. To someone acclimatised to games with actual length and content rather than fake difficulty and bleeping. I tend to have controversial feelings about works in any medium.

[@ThereWasNoFreeName]

I'd say 90s games were good. Not all of them, but what about some Sega and SNES classics? PS1 games? many great and still playable games from back then. NES and SMS games were inferior, yes, but Genesis, SNES, PS1, N64? Great 2D games, nice visuals. Way better than crappy 3D which started at the end of 90s and all the way to first Crysis.

[@nardo259]

AgentTasmania that's really not true have you played some of the games like banjo,crash 2 and 3 or even super castlevaina?

[@bubbytrujillo9644]

I live in Denver, Colorado with an altitude being 5280 aka high altitude. I have to put extra flour in mostly everything I bake or it comes out rather flat. No I Don't live on the tip of a mountain, yes I have a microwave.

[@missgurlyteengurl]

Bubby Trujillo I was just about to comment that because when I lived in Vail I had to do that!!!

[@zaphod888]

I came down here to say that plenty of people live at the altitudes listed - particularly in the US. We in the U.K. are used to ‘high altitude’ being somewhere exotic that adventurous people go rather than a place to put cities.

[@DRTKO365]

Greetings from Salt Lake city, I got the same problem, good luck making bread up here.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

Now I had to convert it into imperial, but I live at impressive 27 ft, the highest place I ever lived was at 240 ft and the highest I ever been (besides just passing through) must be around 2600 and the lowest around -15

[@someonessidechannel1485]

@@HappyBeezerStudios being in the middle of the US, most places i've lived are easily in the thousands (of feet) for altitude, with sea level being some coastal place I visit for a day or so.

[@neoqueto]

Dan's acting was so convincing that at first I believed that he was angry, despite the whole waking up scene.

[@DravenWolfe]

LOL, and wearing the Chef Excellent costume.

[@rockerseven]

unless the wake up scene actually was real, and was convinced to put on the costume and continue with the video lol

[@TechyBen]

Unless it took him hours to get there, the clock was not set to 3AM. They missed a joke there. ;)

[@eiaboca1]

@@TechyBen they noticed, though. They made a comment about how Dan's travel time was six hours.

[@FourDozenEggs]

It's astonishing how much that frosting looks like actual jizz.

[@Lunaero]

we all dirty minded when we see that type of shit

[@StanSwan]

How do you know it is not? Ron Jeremy comes in every box.

[@DoktrDub]

Well… jizz that’s long passed it due date

[@peterclarke7240]

Many of them unwilling.

[@dnb5661]

😆

[@SouthwesternEagle]

18:32 That's what I looked like in mid/late 1989 when this cake was boxed.

[@eugeniaamariei8626]

You were just a single cell back then I guess. How things have changed.

[@DarkRawrb]

Ah yellow cake uranium flavour, my favourite.

[@gregmerter4083]

they use yellow cake in radiation suits.

[@monochromeboi267]

+Robert Byrne It's probably past its half-life by now.

[@Sam-no8tt]

+Edd Sampson Oh God there's thousands of 'em

[@Recumbent_IT]

Fallout feeling :D

[@kadengolda2373]

lol

[@azugirl111]

it feels weird knowing that that cake is older than i am

[@MrMistermoges]

+UnrealDifficulty you and me both. i'm going to be 37 in less than a month... oh well.

[@blueworm2341]

+Hjorksi Bjorksi You 37 now?

[@PeterGriffinANIMALCRACKERS]

+Hjorksi Bjorksi Hi grandpa

[@MrMistermoges]

oh hi there sonny boy. now GET OFF MY LAWN!!

[@ethanpoag1206]

+Simon WoodburyForget weird.

[@BloodrealmX]

"You won't need to knead it, though, as it's gone soft over the years." Today I learned Stuart doesn't know how instructions work.

[@ambergris5705]

I'm surprised at how thoughtful the packaging is for the early nineties : inclusion of diabetics recipe, and instruction for high altitude. Great work !

[@JasonZakrajsek]

I find it hilarious that Ashens said "Give it some love" before they put the jizz icing on it. lol

[@oi-nf9uz]

When you take 25 years to make a cake thats supposed to take 4 minutes.

[@Nails_By_Kimberlee]

Lol right? They were giving me such anxiety. It's like trying to cook with my son 😂

[@CigarRegal]

You forgot to use the century egg. Please find another package of 25 year old microwave cake mix and try again.

[@mattharlan4847]

Steve microrave

[@IVR02]

With a name like "MicroRave", I was half expecting a miniature rave in the microwave.

[@Earthstar_Review]

For extra rave, cover with aluminum foil before cooking.

[@vivianmacbluff5285]

"Hand me the spoon, Daniel!" were his last spoken words before the death cake tragically took his life.

[@K4RN4GE911]

"Go ahead and give it some love." And of course, he says that right as we find out what the icing looks like. *snicker*

[@Spike6Pixel]

Like melted frosting! ...Right? ...R-right!?

[@punch3322]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@madmangamerful]

Creamy creamy frosting. Mmmmmm....

[@punch3322]

Myrmeko Me Satan cum.

[@Evan2]

Comedic genius everyone.

[@mrbarrylewis]

Crikey I struggled with the closeup near the end, will have to get you making a proper one some time from scratch washed down with some aged hot dogs

[@q3znw6j88aywnwy]

Hola

[@gilgammesh1]

THE MAN!

[@bentramer682]

Don't forget the baby food and spider

[@jeeves_uk]

Egg and bacon baby food

[@geckokid8265]

If anyone ever tried to poison ashens it wouldn't hurt him at all because he has built up a resilience because of all the mouldy food he's eaten

[@elwoodjacobs4353]

But is he immune to Iocaine powder?

[@TheCompleteMental]

Alternatively he'll have consumed some antidote beforehand like how penicillin was discovered.

[@soangry]

Your friend's cooking skills make me feel so much better about myself. I can at least follow simple directions on a box without staring at it slack jawed every minute. Then again, he may not be joking about you waking him at 3am for this, that could explain some things.

[@TheHutchy01]

It's incredible how his kitchen was basically indistinct from a student kitchen.

[@MrWolfSnack]

council house

[@emil4417]

"empty. thats how i feel as well." thats some relatable shit

[@ianplace9977]

So it’s been 4 years ¿hows life?

[@emil4417]

@@ianplace9977 woah i completely forgot about this. im actually doing a lot better! thanks for getting me to look back on this, its a good reminder that ive actually made some good progress in my life. :]

[@ianplace9977]

@@emil4417 well that’s good to hear..ok bye...

[@DaveDexterMusic]

Stuart is a goddamn interceleb and he still buys the most budget soap possible. I genuinely approve of this frugality. Soap is soap.

[@DaveDexterMusic]

AND what would appear to be ultra budget gin. Ashens is Frugalord.

[@ChocolateShock]

Not to mention he's also got a PhD and uses it accordingly.

[@DaveDexterMusic]

***** I'm really not trolling. I think it's awesome he buys supervalue soap and gin.

[@DaveDexterMusic]

Morgan Dayna He's run the tests, and the results are: cheap consumables often more or less the same.

[@dannywithnuggets]

Interceleb? Seriously?

[@SniperWalrus]

4:20 minutes and seconds! AWWW YEAAAH! Also 25ish min long video, the cake mix is 25 years old. That's around 13140000 minutes. That means that each minute of this video, rounding to 25 for convenience sake, represents 525600 minutes of this cake mixes life. Truly this is a monumental feat, I commend you Ashens and cake mix.

[@shadoom]

420 420 420 420 420 420 420

[@Kepesk]

Half-Life 3 confirmed!!!

[@DatCupcake]

I know I'm super late to the game at this point, but I think it's valid to point out that the reason they put high-altitude cooking instructions on there is because in the US (the target market for that, I assume), we really do have several inhabited cities that are 3500 ft.+ above sea level.

[@DarkdustDragon]

Wait, you got through the whole video without making a "the cake is a lie" joke? Bravo.

[@DarkdustDragon]

CainBitterman Which makes it perfect for this old thing.

[@DarkdustDragon]

***** The thing they made that can ostensibly be called a cake. Kinda sorta.

[@coupledyetivonvanderburg5385]

But the cake was real.

[@RevampedStone]

Coupledyeti Vonvanderburg But the cake was no cake, its was the embodiment of death.

[@coupledyetivonvanderburg5385]

Revamped Stone But it was still real. It was the last cutscene of the game.

[@TheAuron32]

6 years on and i am rewatching this again... its just funny to me to see these two make a cake and the reactions and one liners are on point.

[@alexpilkington3257]

I think its odd that we call off-vanilla "yellow cake", seeing as thats the name of a highly radioactive material that if consumed will almost certainly result in immediate death

[@athenathegreatandpowerful6365]

3 years later... white cake has no yolks in it. Yellow cake has yolks. Thus the difference.

[@TXFDA]

Just imagine dying from eating something sent in. "Death by 83 year old can of spaghetti rings."

[@Exroth]

TXF mums speghetti

[@edgykid4226]

Rudi van Disarzio Death by 1000 year old monster meat.

[@consolios]

Truths

[@edgykid4226]

Please get the reference.

[@diannarodgers8786]

TXF I'm just waiting for someone too smart to understand jokes to come in and say "spaghetti rings weren't invented until (whatever year they say) so they can't be 83 years old!" ... I see it happen to the best jokes...

[@ReplayRetro]

can't help but feel that maybe the reason you're supposed to knead the glaze is to mix it together so it doesn't come out all separated? it could be because of how out of date it is but i don't think so. The rest of it looked like it had actually held up pretty well, shame about the taste

[@retrosimon9843]

Kneading it ? Sure and risk the whole thing exploding ? Nah i think not.

[@retrosimon9843]

***** Exactly kneading it would make it explode lol

[@TheInCreDIblEMaReKU]

***** which he will promptly follow up with "probably because it's full of preservatives and other nasty shite"

[@sidrahhussain5958]

*facepalm*

[@UnknownbonesJM]

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. Although, you know you can't be lazy.

[@lopsidedhead]

Ohhh my god.

[@MarkLaLone]

Never use a messy recipe

[@gr8gassy]

This comment is number one

[@SigEpBlue]

The cake did end up crazy. Crazy _bad_ but still....

[@sithisdawnsend2730]

BRING IT DOWN B*TCH LEMME SEE YOU BACK IT UP

[@ketfoen]

I actually remember this cake growing up. My sister would make it, when she and I were watching tv and we didn't have any snacks around to munch on. I never liked it, but she loved it, I think because it made her feel like she could cook or bake or something and felt really proud of herself. The icing was pretty good, but not so watery like this one, i guess thats what 25 years in the cupboard does to icing hahaha.

[@JarrodPoulter]

Stuart, you're the only person in the world who can make a 24 minute video of yourself and a friend cooking a microwaveable meal and still make it entertaining...

[@angelachase2163]

One time I made brownies at midnight. Not to brag, but they were good brownies.

[@fluxxhunter1742]

Send me some

[@BlackBunik]

Lol the cake could be used to murder someone. A perfect alibi. "Oh I did not notice the expiration date" All family dead.

[@emporbooty]

Well Gendo, they'd probably still be booked for manslaughter if they claimed that

[@BlackBunik]

Gendo dja nai, Hasegawa da! (I'm not gendo, but Hasegawa) ...

[@BlackBunik]

ididabod Sorry, can't oblige. I am not ready for that kind of commitment yet.

[@BlackBunik]

ididabod Thanks for the advice. I shall file it under the "do not try at home" folder.

[@emporbooty]

ididabod You're trying too hard to be edgy and offensive Nobody gives a shit about you

[@Roguestormtrooper]

Not to be a dick, but I just so happen to live in a city which is roughly a mile above sea level, despite the fact that it's called Prescott Valley (granted we are surrounded by mountains). Point being, we actually have to pay attention to "High Altitude Directions" or else the cakes come out practically inedible. Note this also applies to things you make from scratch, though only to things you bake. OK, now that I know this will be universally ignored I can continue with my riveting day of doing absolutely nothing.

[@jay_344]

I thought it was for stoners who were high off their ass.

[@AgentTasmania]

Like 90% of Australians, I live damn near on the coast and this is the first time I've been glad of it.

[@tigerstrike7]

+Roguestormtrooper Yup... I live at 8750 feet, silverthorne colorado. But I may point out that the high altitude instructions only go up to around 6000feet :/

[@cc777-u1c]

+Roguestormtrooper it was nice to know where those instructions apply! you are now not universally ignored.

[@frtard]

+Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar ...and all this time I thought I just smoked too fucking much.

[@Bluemilk92]

That glaze looked frighteningly like semen. I mean, it's just plain uncanny. I swear I've stared at puddles like that, on top of my trash can, regretting every decision I've ever made.

[@h3069]

😐📸

[@Bluemilk92]

@@h3069 Emojis > language eh?

[@h3069]

@@Bluemilk92 "Unimpressed face looking dead at you holding a camera in the process of taking a picture of your subjectively weird activity" doesn't have the same impact as 📸😐

[@DannyBeans]

That took a turn.

[@Kalitayy]

⁠@@Bluemilk92”Emojis > language eh?” 🤓🤓

[@terryd5974]

The bit at the beginning with Dan all angry had me laughing hard 😂 I think his a brilliant actor and in my opinion was easily one of the best in the game child film!

[@MitremTheMighty]

The glaze looks like... eh... "gentlemans relish" (And I don't mean the kind you spread on toast)

[@MechaPro93]

Wtf lool i aint never heard that one before

[@4.6_boat]

IS THAT A TOP GEAR REFERENCE BECAUSE I WILL BE SO HAPPY

[@DarkLink1996.]

He did call it the "Devil's cum."

[@Zeldarock11]

i've seen it spread on toast oddly enough

[@TeeterreteeT]

The kind you spread on bagels? (Yes I get the joke xD)

[@bloodflowersandhurricanes9463]

I love it when you cook with your boyfriend, the two of you are so adorable together. :)

[@4gregs]

I can't tell if this is a satire comment or not I'm 99% sure Ashens has a girlfriend

[@RyanReta97]

They're Hella adorable Xp

[@Michael_in_Vt]

You know them?

[@4gregs]

alright tone down your homophobia mate

[@Michael_in_Vt]

***** Flagged

[@sammysoppy3361]

They have lots of microwave cakes now. This time they are mug cakes. You don’t need to buy a mix of course there are lots of easy recipes for mug cakes but yea everything comes back around again

[@DJ-Ophidian]

Box looks like an Atari 2600 cartridge design!

[@digerttm]

'is it full of weebls?' I just imagined a tiny mr weebl falling out of the bag while singing

[@pigslywigsly4218]

tristan digert

[@digerttm]

that's me

[@MarkLaLone]

thog don't care

[@BertGrink]

"Unicorn.... Are you what happens when a narwhal makes sweet sweet love to a horse, Sexy sexy fish-horse!"

[@drsnova7313]

Streusel are *supposed* to be lumpy. To see you crushing them back into powder because "something must be wrong with them" was kind of hilarious. Oh, and a German "eu" is pronounced roughly like "oy".

[@jackp6812]

Where can I buy these? I want to bring it to a party of someone I hate.

[@anthonyostrovsky]

Yes hahaha

[@equinox6944]

JDONP best comment I’ve read in a long time hahaha !

[@why3443]

Ebay

[@systemhalodark]

I still think this channel was an inspiration for Steve1989.

[@AdminAbuse]

Nice hiss!

[@vtlurker]

The Strudel sauce did look rather like 'gentlemens relish' as it were

[@CoryC321]

Baby gravy on you cake What a way to start the day If you're late to work then say; Baby Gravy Everyday!

[@mobrien98]

You need a medal for "gentlemans relish"

[@CoryC321]

Michael O'Brien What about mannaise?

[@cjinl2428]

Who knew videos based on ordinary household products could be so entertaining? So grateful for Ashens.

[@papachanka658]

18:23 Money Shot

[@peterclarke7240]

Ashens at a party: "Dessert, everyone?" Everyone : takes him at his word and proceed to flee the building.

[@OmegaSoypreme]

I laugh my ass off every time at the wake up scene! It's fucking hilarious!

[@bentramer682]

Me: bored and sad Ashens Video: (weird keyboard jingle) *day gets better*

[@lactoseintolerantaxel]

*insert overly used seminal fluid joke here*

[@mustachecashstash6315]

someone jizzed on the cake am i funny now?

[@lactoseintolerantaxel]

Mustache Cash Stash no

[@coyotelong4349]

+Mustache Cash Stash You're hilarious!

[@powerjbn9283]

Jerry Seinfeld They should have used a [# OF YEARS THE CAKE MIX IS OLD] old [FOOD PRODUCT OF POULTRY] !!!

[@mydadshowering2978]

What's the deal with cake semen? *Seinfeld theme*

[@crrnan_thrr_brrbrrrianrock9092]

I love Chef Excellence's laugh. Its hearty and playful.

[@The_Farwall]

"Oh no need to knead it. OH NO, it has separated because it's old!" If only it had been kneaded to recombine, eh?

[@LumyTheQueen]

"Darling, what are we having for desert tonight?" "Oh, it's Devil's food with chocolate frosting. You'll love it, it's delicious."

[@kevinm5940]

I had never heard of that term before this video, but apparently it's a very strong tasting chocolate cake. It's called that because it's sort of the opposite of an "angel's food" cake, which is very light.

[@imeanokaysureman]

Yellowcake is so delicious. Mmm... best served with Uranium.

[@esmeraldakim6591]

I really appreciate this videos! thanks for going through this torture. but seriously, there's something extremely fascinating about seeing you open something that has been sealed for so long...and how it looks...wow.

[@slipperyfish7560]

If ashens becomes immune to bacteria, we all know why.

[@TXFDA]

To be fair, the box DID say to knead the icing packet, which you didn't do, which probably would have mixed it up a bit so it didn't look as separated. I'm guessing that's why it said Knead. Not because it was more solid originally and needed to be softened, but to mix it up.

[@invaderjill8054]

I know this video is nearly 10 years old - I only discovered this channel a couple weeks ago. The high altitude instructions commentary is pretty funny, because there are lots of places a mile or more above sea level in the US. A mile is 5,280 ft, so it’s at the high end of their 3500-6500 ft range. Denver is a mile above sea level, pretty sure most people will have a microwave at home. 😂

[@lolboy546]

Uh, the glaze is separated like that because you didn't knead it.

[@annother3350]

I know. He goes through all the trouble, then doesn't prepare it properly and wonders why it's not good

[@elwolf8536]

Because he can't stop yapping and trying to be funny

[@qwertykeyboard5901]

Its 20 odd years old, kneading is not going to do anything

[@Trophonix]

@@qwertykeyboard5901 it would be about the same if it were new. that is why kneading is one of the steps. not that it matters since it's 20 years old and it would be disgusting regardless lol but still it WAS his fault that the glaze looked gross

[@shaunclarke04]

Lord Kittens McTavish smart arse

[@Erry4576]

That moment when microwave cake is older than you are. :I

[@tails345]

***** How? O,o

[@blingblingboy5205]

Matti Meikäläinen Its not older then me, cuz the iceing is my jizz...

[@tails345]

Supercat Mao Silence, invalid. I'd backhand you, but I don't want to touch you. . :D

[@cube2fox]

As a German I find it funny how you pronounce "streusel" 😄

[@canamx399]

Most English speakers don’t get how certain words are pronounced lmao

[@heartbust4624]

@@canamx399 Whoa most English speakers don't get how words from another language are pronounced? Shocking

[@Destereir]

@@heartbust4624 yet we non-English speakers know how to speak English 😉.

[@necromorphous]

How do you pronounce it then?

[@ioioioioio6026]

@@Destereir because it's s better language

[@DRUMAdam91]

Is that Tesco value gin in the background?

[@reijin90]

Yep, he used it in an other video

[@NoFormalTraining]

***** In several videos if I recall right.

[@AgentTasmania]

It may or may not be the same bottle he's had for years.

[@Vollification]

20:24 That is genuine concern on his face :p "I know this whole thing is supposed to be fun and all but this might be crossing the line...."

[@Japanlover79]

Oh the Ahsens channel the only place where can see to grown British men cook 25 year old cake at 5:00 am

[@GarrettTBuse]

Are people still whining about Dan, he was in the Ashens movie for fucks sake, he was fantastic in that and he's great in these. If you don't like Dan do everyone a favor and unsubscribe, or at the very least don't watch or comment on a video with Dan in it.

[@ziginox]

Ashens, acting like 3,500 feet is a mountain _laughs in Idahoan_ Also, yellow cake is white cake (probably the vanilla) where you include the egg yolks, not just the whites.

[@AiOinc1]

it occurs to me that every video stuart has done on old food, there is probably someone in the audience pointing at the screen saying "That was my favorite! I'd do anything to have it again!"

[@boboertyusa]

18:55 Looks like someone jizzed on the cake.

[@princefleaswallow5182]

Y...yellowcake? Yellowcake... Uranium...

[@gabewaters405]

HoNk :o)

[@ZombryaTheDark]

Nepeta Leijon lmfao I understood that reference

[@katiecarter8363]

when you look at the clock and its not 3am ;)

[@strawbtangerine6087]

Transport time and the likes

[@DeadLine10153]

ITS 4AM

[@pencilstreak9]

It's 2:59!

[@katiecarter8363]

+DeathTerraki the little hand is on 10 and the big hand is on 4 ... making it 10:20 ...

[@katiecarter8363]

+Stocking Anarchy look at the big hand and little hand ...

[@DidntKnowWhatToPut1]

Am I the only one who really wants to know what kind a bacteria can survive 25 years in a bag of icing?

[@puddes5832]

Not.

[@DarkdustDragon]

I wouldn't want to be the guinea pig, I can tell you that much.

[@Nukle0n]

It's not bacteria, it's just the natural decay of things. There's no way there's bacteria in any of that unless it wasn't made properly. If there had been bacteria the bags would probably be bloated or possibly popped. Shit just decays, even canned food will end up tasting like death and cigarette butts after a while.

[@belstar1128]

The bacteria dont live 25 years but the bacteria will multiply every 20 mins so after 25 years there willbe many bacteria.

[@HermanManly]

If there was any bacteria at all the bags would have blown up already

[@PhoebeLisaaa]

That is why they ask u to kneed it lol all the glaze separated

[@clearspira]

+RocketMan153251 How dirty will you feel when you discover that she is actually a fifty year old hairy fat guy with a stock photo as an avatar?

[@PhoebeLisaaa]

+clearspira holy fuck u got it thank you!!! Maybe people will leave me alone now... Btw I used this photo because I didn't know there was a rule about using photos of yourself and my account won't let me change it so great 👏🏽

[@PuffyCraftOfficial]

+Zomm Bishh Rule?

[@brendans.9515]

love the red dwarf reference

[@ThatPerthFan]

He complains that its 3am but the clock says 10:20...

[@xkamont]

+Pissed Off Fat Guy that's 'cause of the six hours of travel time.

[@AgentTasmania]

+CityRuler1 Difference between Bristol and Norwich.

[@jameshamilton6963]

+xkamont that would make it 9am

[@nexusninja8839]

had to scroll for at least a minute before i post this same comment lol... i knew someone else would've noticed the clock

[@paulfitz4861]

xkamont looks pretty dark for 9 am

[@sperrin]

"Why are you doing this at 3 AM in the morning?" 3 AM in the morning, as apposed to 3 AM at night?

[@StormsparkPegasus]

3AM is night as far as I'm concerned. :P

[@papayer]

"because I've lost control of my life"

[@dormantrabbits]

It depends on when you go to bed

[@nonyabusiness999]

@Digdug30 it said it took him 6 hours to get there....

[@JuicyJJ3]

@@papayer Ey! That Rugrats reference tho! 💪😎

[@PersonalZombie]

"High Altitude Directions, for if you're on top of a mountain" sooo... The Midwestern US?

[@PersonalZombie]

5320 at the capital building! It's nice actually, once you get used to how thin the air is a mile above sea level.

[@TheAldocaro]

+Josh of the Zombies a fellow Coloradan?

[@Chrnan6710]

The Midwest is pretty flat, it's the Rockies.

[@thedukeofallsaiyans1369]

+TheAldocaro colorado native

[@valumtimes]

Depends on what part of the Midwestern United States; the Dakotas are flat, whereas Wyoming and Colorado are nothing BUT mountains. During my stint of living in Wyoming, it was uncommon for baking instructions to not include high altitude adjustments for just that reason. Baking is a finicky chemistry when it comes to heights.

[@TheCrazyHedgehogLady]

If I ever start a metal band, our name will be Dėth Strüsel! 💀🤘🏻

[@intensitydigital]

I don't know why he thought the altitude thing was weird. I went ot go visit familiy over the summer, in the mountains, about 6-7 thousand feet (although when I went hiking I got to 10,000 feet) above sea level.

[@Cool-Spot]

I don't think there are any mountains in the UK

[@intensitydigital]

***** I take my microwave climbing all the time. Can't stand freeze dried food. (sarcasm)

[@intensitydigital]

***** It's a hand crank microwave. They never really took off. Just kidding. There is a normal town on top of the mountain, 6000 feet up, with a paved road leading up too it, electricity, walmarts, houses, farms, and FIBER INTERNET that infuriates me because we are stuck with, relatively slow, copper where I live, AT SEA LEVEL (literally next too the ocean)

[@eewweeppkk]

You guys really think everybody lives at sea level?

[@CruelSummerWYou]

The Creator My exact thought. In Colorado we're 5280 feet above sea level so those instructions are beneficial.

[@pati5146]

"empty that's how I feel"

[@dan_tr4pd00r]

Upon Googling Yellow Cake, I realized the potential for a yellowcake uranium joke.

[@YOTLP]

Tell me

[@charliestevenson6853]

There is yellow cake cake here aswell

[@Needwagon4Speedwagon]

Hi Ho Wolverhampton Upon googling blue waffle, i realized, don't google blue waffle

[@steveh7260]

ahh! I googled it! aaaaah!

[@steveh7260]

ahh! I googled it! aaaaah!

[@SullySadface]

stoke me a clipper i'll be back for christmas

[@skirtingboard]

What a guy

[@The212b]

BoredVideoGamer You get an internet point.

[@sekkusupisutoruzu]

+SullySadface Magnificent

[@xMETALxSwifty]

I always thought it was kipper

[@DOSRetroGamer]

Microrave - sounds like an electro clubbing in pandemic times

[@RaptorJesus]

"HAND ME THE SPOON, DANIEL"

[@tylermusselman1593]

'Callin me over at 3AM to make you a cake... A DEATH CAKE"

[@Arbron]

How did they both know he was gonna say "death cake!?"

[@Spike-Prime]

Ah yes, the days before Barshens. Probably would've called Barry for this not long after, but Dan is always nice to see :D

[@ActuallyTragic]

"...not a wooden pickaxe." Minecraft kids incoming, brace for impact.

[@jacobdagun3670]

Yep.

[@phuzionisgay4536]

Sad Onion Productions =-= YOU BITCH

[@Waboku52]

+Phuzion Gaming dont feed the trolls. this kids probably 8

[@sadonionproductions3058]

+Phuzion Gaming stoooop hatooon on gays gays are u mum pooooppeeee hed 🚰🚾🚱💢💯🎎🔮

[@Joshua_Etho]

+Sad Onion Productions do you speaka da enggerish

[@sewer_king]

dude someone skeeted on your cake

[@ShadowFoxSoothsayer]

I still love Ashen's being sassy about High Altitude insructions, even though there are cities 5000ft above sea level. Hello Colorado

[@x0AuG0x]

I'm sure it's already been mentioned in the comments somewhere, but I'll be fucked if I'm sorting through them all to find it, so I shall clarify the rational for the "high altitude" directions: Here in the states the folks who live in the Rocky Mountains regions actually have to adjust their cooking processes due to the lower air pressure at their particular elevations. For the most part it's a difference so inconsequential as to be meaningless, but in a culture where the end user can't be trusted to know a boil from a simmer these companies were simply appealing to the lowest common denominator.

[@punch3322]

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooring. Cooking in space sounds better. Or on an airplane. I AM TIRED OF *THESE MOTHERFUCKIN* CAKES ON THIS *MOTHERFUCKING* PLANE!

[@punch3322]

***** STOP SPOILING MY FUN!!! You meanie.

[@BrySkye]

***** You're way, way off. Pressurised, yes, but not to sea level. Not even close. Cabin pressure in an airliner during cruise is equivalent to 8000ft. The new 787 with its stronger fuselage made of composite materials instead of metal, and cabin pressurisation systems that don't use engine bleed air, has been able to increase the cabin pressure to the equivalent of 6000ft.

[@punch3322]

BrySkye YES! AIRPLANE COOKING! I WAS RIGHT! _i think..._

[@Terestrasz]

Also or the Andes.