3 Communication Skills Hacks Successful Women Use (And IGNORED Women Don’t)

[@natalie73animals]

Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want? I love the simplicity of this formula.

[@MsBettyRubble]

I used to go to monthly free gardening sessions run by my county. I noticed that I'd ask a question and get a derisive answer. Then in another session someone else would ask the same question using very similar wording. That person would get a warm encouraging response. I couldn't figure it out. Turns out, I ran into someome else who had the same issue. The gardening presenter does not like older, overweight, unattractive women. I went back for two more sessions and noticed that he was kind to the young pretty women and dismissive to the older ones. The take away here is that even if you use a great verbal formula. There may be other reasons your message isn't received. So many times, we are in the presence of jerks.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I agree with what you say.

[@LisaDonaldson-m8h]

I have been in a similar situation. It's very hurtful.

[@spice8831]

Your hysterical. You’re a natural comedian. And you give such awesome advise ,thank you

[@periteu]

I love your videos. To me, you are the go-to source for workplace assertiveness, and I appreciate how your insights also apply to other areas of life. I’m especially drawn to your way of organizing everything into acronyms or creating unique concepts-it’s something I really admire. That said, I think it’s important to note that assertiveness requires a functional level of self-esteem. I consider self-esteem to be a prerequisite for assertiveness. You can use all these strategies, but if you’re stuck in a state of shame about your existence, or feel ashamed of being who you are and thinking the way you do, or if you operate in a very dysfunctional mental state, then you’ll need to address that first-or at least simultaneously. Good vid. I’ll definitely be putting this into practice

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I agree that if you have a serious esteem problem, you should address that first. Having said that, I also believe that these techniques, properly applied, will help with your self esteem because of the reaction people will have to the new way you are conducting yourself :). And I appreciate your thoughtful observation, @periteu.

[@CJScrol]

Luv the concept “either we are conforming to the environment or the environment is conforming to us.” Genius! 👏👏

[@1phoenix346]

Thank you. I needed to see this today. I completely forgot about the effective Feel, Felt, Found.

[@EveningTV]

thank you for saying that about "does that make sense?" I don't know when that started to be so common but it drives me nuts almost as much as "literally" used incorrectly over and again.

[@vhayashi7369]

I feel the same way about those words! I hate how the kids use literally for everything and what they need to use instead is "actually "!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I know, right? It's literally 😅driving me crazy.

[@tarajh]

As someone with a neuro divergent brain, I'm constantly concerned about adequately articulating the 73 simultaneous thoughts all jockeying for a spot in the first couple sentences that come out of my mouth... when I ask, "I hope that makes sense?" it's to verify MY ability to produce a comprehensible sentence, not question the listener's ability to understand it. Still, it sounds like I should find a better way to ask 🤔

[@kf4083]

I love this! As someone who struggles with verbal communication when put on the spot, this information is quite helpful! Breaking things down like this gives me a pattern / script to work from that helps verbal communication to be more manageable. It’s not always easy getting one’s point across and with you explanation I can see how that with practice I can get better at this just by simplifying my approach in the Thank you.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are very welcome @kf4083

[@sara_phoebe]

Would love to learn more about phrases that are “inclusive” and brings people together

[@tarajh]

I second this!

[@MickieMuellerStudio]

This…this made my day! Thank you. I’m so glad I don’t have to practice not making that gesture, because I’ve never had the urge to do that. 💜 Love to all and may we all take your good advice and apply it to communicating with love during this difficult time.

[@susandrydenhenderson6234]

You can’t be that daft. I stopped listening and unsubscribed after his deliberate and malicious misrepresentation of Elon. As somebody who studies body language, you knows perfectly well that there is nobody on earth you could not capture in the split second process of a gesture, such as a wave and claim it is a Nazi salute. The Internet is awash with demonstrations of all the most prominent political figures and celebrities momentarily caught on camera in such a position, which, of course, as with Elon was not a Nazi salute. As his gesture was preceded by him grasping his heart and making a throwing motion and saying he was throwing love out to everybody, nobody who watched and listened could fail to know that. He is a dishonest and malicious man, and nobody should listen to him and everybody should unsubscribe. I suppose his ego has been affected by the likelihood that his particular brand of perversity will no longer be promoted and this motivated him to lie spitefully.

[@tarajh]

​@@susandrydenhenderson6234- good grief... somebody sure spiked your kool-aid. Have you even seen the *unedited* footage? He did the salute TWICE. So there goes your "split second frame in the context of a wave" justification. A word of advice: if your leaders are always correct and *cannot* be criticized, you're in a cult, my dude. Best of luck.

[@Cat-sx6ep]

Thank you I feel a shift in the way I communicate since watching your videos

[@alleyway2]

I would like to humbly request, that the Great, Magnificent, Dan O'Conner, please make videos like these for non-work place settings as well. I would LOVE some insight on dealing with toxic family (and friends for some).

[@jesar6058]

I was planning on cross purposing the techniques 70% of my family is passive aggressive and I also have teenagers that talk in circles can't wait to see how it lands on everyone LOL

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Most of my techniques are applicable to work and home, but I hear you. I am considering doing a few more videos specifically for family and friend situations.

[@Meechstik]

@@TheWizardOfWordsPlease do! 🙏😇

[@ivispark3780]

Yes please 🙏

[@rorenee5245]

New subscriber, here! Hi Dan, this is Ro. As a recovering people-pleaser and formerly PAINFULLY-shy person, I appreciate your direct, yet kind approach to communication. There is an art and a science to showing up with poise, kindness, and competency...and you display all three qualities. I appreciate you and your content, thank you 😊

[@TheWizardOfWords]

@rorenee5245-- Hello Ro. I am deeply grateful for your analysis! Thank you and welcome to the channel.

[@rorenee5245]

@@TheWizardOfWords thanks 😊

[@SaturdaysWarriors]

Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!! For calling out the "Does That Make Sense?" I've been saying for years it's insulting!

[@ai.culturalquotes888]

Okay give me SOAR framework - SOURCE, OBSERVATION, ACTION, RESULT!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You bet!

[@richardhimes3723]

Thank you "Oh Swami👳‍♂️" for giving us the words of wisdom

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are entirely welcome, Young Son.

[@carolinemullan2781]

You are 🎉the best!

[@rockytreadway]

Thank you so much for these tools! You're helping me help myself so much! ❤

[@carmenfreeman693]

Wow!❤❤❤ thank you!❤❤❤

[@DalesValor]

Good word structures.

[@Lilia-pi8pf]

Nice to see you after long time

[@jesar6058]

Wow! This is hands down the best video I've viewed on KZbin. This goes beyond being great content it's more like getting a gift and it's not even your birthday 😊 I had hit the subscribe button before you were even finished with S.O.A.R. ❤🎉

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks much for the sub, @jesar6058.

[@Martiniiiiiiiiii]

Ughhhh I love it. Fabulous! 😊

[@TheZGALa]

Thank you for the useable gold!

[@msmxd333]

I totally appreciate this presentation! Really great concepts to learn & know! If only we could all communicate so well! Great content to share! It would also be helpful to discuss how to help others with different communication styles or Neurodivergence. They often seem scattered when speaking as multiple thoughts are running simultaneously in the back of their minds. This has helped our teams discussions greatly & resulting better cohesion with everyone sharing their thoughts. Elon Musk is obviously a freaking GENIUS, with high energy & reportedly has Asperger Syndrome, so it’s also a different communication style.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

@msmxd333, might I (with great humility) suggest that you refer your Neurodivergent friends to danoconnortraining.com/store and suggest Step Out of the Shadows and Speak. For that matter, it is suggested for everyone--but left-brainers, shy people, and people who are Neurodivergent will benefit from it all the more (I say with great humility).

[@anacarolvp]

I learn so much from this channel, I see advices that can be used not only workwise but in every relationship. It's thought provoking, You're awesome !

[@helenaasousa]

Yaw Gawwwwgus, my friend, you’re literally Glowing! I truly appreciate the effort & wise insight you so kindly offer us, Thank You! ♥️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are very welcome, @helenaasousa

[@auberjean6873]

@TheWizardOfWords 💯 Thanks for explaining the process of communicating more effectively. Came for the humor, stayed for the lesson. Instant subscriber! You rock!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks, @auberjean6873

[@the.blue.raven7777]

How do you answer to colleagues and managers who refuse even to arrange some excel files to have a filter? Then they make you to stay late and accuse you of not finishing tasks?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Please give full details.

[@heathergentlyinthewind806]

I've always been invisible. To almost everyone. I went to watch your other video about the compass and I now think I know why... I can't answer the 2nd question "what am I here for". Can you provide some ideas on how to figure that out? What do I want? Easy.. to be visible.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're not invisible to me, Heather!

[@heathergentlyinthewind806]

Thank you❤​@@TheWizardOfWords

[@AOHgoog22]

A+

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you :)

[@charlottehanna790]

So. Make a proposal to Corporate. Do not give away the brilliant idea to them until one has enticed them? LOL. Sounds great and thank you.

[@crystalbledsoe5741]

My husband hears you as I'm watching this, he thought you were Pat Sajak. Curious if you have been told that before. Either way, I'm happy you got my husband's attention.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

No, I've not been told that before, but I am happy that I got your husband's attention--and yours :)

[@Mushroom321-]

Thank you for addressing what couldve been said from Elon. !!& with class too !!😮🎉🎉

[@susandrydenhenderson6234]

I stopped listening and unsubscribed after that deliberate and malicious misrepresentation of Elon. As somebody who studies body language, he knows perfectly well that there is nobody on earth you could not capture in the split second process of a gesture, such as a wave and claim it is a Nazi salute. The Internet is awash with demonstrations of all the most prominent political figures and celebrities momentarily caught on camera in such a position, which, of course, as with Elon was not a Nazi salute. As his gesture was preceded by him grasping his heart and making a throwing motion and saying he was throwing love out to everybody, nobody who watched and listened could fail to know that. This KZbinr is a dishonest and malicious man, and nobody should listen to him and everybody should unsubscribe. I suppose his ego has been affected by the likelihood that his particular brand of perversity will no longer be promoted and this motivated him to lie spitefully.

[@katliese]

I get ignored in my own home 😳

[@avisnubia]

Great, but this doesn't always work with everyone or every population. Just saying....

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Nor every culture . . . .

[@cbeautifulworld11]

Tons of helpful information in this video. Thank you! The sound effects are annoying distractions which make it impossible to listen and to focus upon what you are saying in those sections. The delivery of your important messages would be so much better without them.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome @cbeautifulworld11.

[@cbeautifulworld11]

@@TheWizardOfWords Aww, interesting reply. This is the first time I've seen your channel. I intended to watch more of your videos and possibly subscribe yet have reconsidered. To thank me for the positive and ignore the direct feedback (yes, I did not make an effort to add any type of manipulation or technique while writing my honest opinion) is not the effective, advanced communication which interests me. Open-minded humility and cultivated listening skills will draw people in rather than drive them away. Good luck and goodbye.

[@selmer1322]

You are ageless!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

MOM--You aren't fooling anyone--especially me.

[@selmer1322]

@ I haven’t seen you in a while and you look exactly the same! 👍🏻

[@SDee.]

❤

[@meganwalker27]

❤❤❤

[@Meechstik]

What if I am the source?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Of?

[@tammy4]

Some things to remember-Elon has autism, he's an engineer and inventor not a public speaker nor a politician. That 6:27 wasn't a nazi salute. I've seen other people salute the crowd in the spirit of the moment including AOC and Hillary.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

@tammy4-- My observations of this man go well beyond his autism--to his posts and to his words. Having said that--he's been given all the attention I intend to devote to him.

[@tammy4]

@@TheWizardOfWords And your statement that it was a Nazi salute? It seems an inflammatory thing to say for a person in your profession and with your experience.

[@denisemichelle878]

​@tammy4, I agree. I like this guy, but that was not a NAZI solute. He was throwing his heart to the crown.

[@mokahgirl5165]

It was a salute.

[@qesther1241]

Dang!! The man says one 60 second observation about Elon and you go “bat shit,”dismissing everything else this video was about.

[@sylviagierasimczuk9556]

❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@Youtubewonderer]

✨🙏🏻✨

[@charlottehanna790]

Yeah. The salute horrified me personal. Elon? What happened?

[@themuse11]

I'm not an Elon fan-girl/boy, and the latter half of his gesture definitely looked very 'zieg heil'... but the first part of the gesture was him touching his heart and said something like 'my heart goes out to you' or 'from my heart' or something like that. Elon is definitely has some socially awkward moments in the limelight, but he's neurodivergent. I relate to the flub, unfortunately. It was painful to watch that.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

The gesture should perhaps be taken in light of the totality of his tweets and interactions with the ADL. A person can be two things at once :)

[@gwengwen4535]

@@themuse11Wouldn’t it be interesting to take every celebrity, politician, or philanthropist etc and take one or two gestures they’ve made whilst speaking, edit out the context, and put our own nefarious spin on it? They’re all fake, but let’s pretend they’re real people making impulsive, unintentional body movements, and we are sitting here like medieval witch hunters, assigning authenticity to a circus🤪

[@themuse11]

@@TheWizardOfWords Yes, I agree. I'm not carrying water for him. He's definitely more than 2 things at once. I just have different concerns. As far as the ADL, perhaps it's worth considering here that it has enormous financial and political influence - and isn't sympathetic to the 1st amendment. In countries without protected speech, people live in fear of their words landing them in prison. If you're a German, you're forbidden from speaking anything but praise on it's migrant policies, even though it has impacted the population quite negatively. There are repercussions for limiting speech - like social unrest. It's like squeezing a tube of tooth paste. In my view, the ADL has done more harm than good for it's cause. As far as Elon goes, I'm much more concerned about his direct ties to technocrats - who are now not afraid to say with their whole chests that full AI global surveillance will ensure a safe society, and that they're building that now.

[@themuse11]

@@gwengwen4535 exactly.

[@melissacostin4464]

Brilliant but nit gut .. old ape brain or lizard brain stem under adrenalin vs neocortex under parasympathetic system.. gut just full of adrenalin receptors to empty for flight or fight in primitive times ..useless if stress at desk etc.. subbed

[@Hipshair]

I was really interested at first, but then i knew I had to ignore this video after the nazi salute thing. Elon waved. Sorry, you seem very nice and are prob a good person IRL. I think you are wrong about the nazi salute, but you prob believe in your heart that you're right. You were right about a lot of things in this video and a lot of it is very good advice. HOWEVER, you alienated half your audience when you did that. Whenever you decide to get political, 50% of the people will likely not agree with you and may not be so willing to hear what you have to say.

[@mokahgirl5165]

I'm sorry but that was not a wave and I did vote for Trump! 🤷🏾‍♀️🤭

[@Hipshair]

@mokahgirl5165 you can make anyone look like they're doing anything if you take a snapshot at the right moment. They have several images of other candidates, even Kamela and Hillary, doing the same handwave out of context. It's propaganda.

[@tarajh]

Critiquing abhorrent behavior isn't "political."

[@Hipshair]

@tarajh here is the definition of political Dictionary Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more adjective relating to the government or the public affairs of a country. "a period of political and economic stability" Similar: governmental government local government ministerial parliamentary party political diplomatic legislative policy-making constitutional public civic state administrative bureaucratic relating to the ideas or strategies of a particular party or group in politics. "a decision taken for purely political reasons" He spoke at a presidential inauguration and the media is claiming that he made a nazi salute. It's very political. You just don't like Elon which is fine but don't lie about him. He waved.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

@Hipshair, Comments made about observed behavior of a politician are not ipso facto political, any more than comments made about Elvis Presley are musical or comments about Judge Davies are judicial.

[@RolferShannon]

Does that make sense, and the ghetto version ya I know what I mean. People with supposed really high degrees say you know what I mean 🤣. To me that makes that person sound like they have zero confidence with every you know what I mean, does this make sense, you following me? 😅

[@mokahgirl5165]

Ghetto? Is that the same has trailer park trash??

[@womanatthewell9603]

I’ll overlook you getting political because you’re funny and entertaining, always slaying me with your facial gestures, and suave good looks. I believe Elon is neurodivergent hense his bizarre behaviors and body language especially if he just watched the excellent recently released Bonhoeffer movie. A lot of neurodivergent are also brilliant and contribute to society despite their quirks. Looking forward to more of your content.

[@dystopian2153]

I totally agree with you. ❤

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks @womanatthewell9603 Parenthetically, you should know that my comments in re political figures or anybody well known come from my observing them as people--how they interact and whether they speak mindfully or with vitriol. I don't care if someone is a Republican or a Democrat, but I do care if they contribute positively to the global dialogue. And I speak only from my perspective because--that is the only perspective I have :)

[@lyutprok]

@womanattgewell9603 pls stop making excuses for his gesture fiasco, he is not a toddler throwing his hands up in the air randomly. He might be autistic but he is certainly far from dumb. kzbin.info7l1OJ5iidP4?si=MakHDFPoVapm0XUv

[@JC_0007]

10 years past of Nazi Salutes made in public, by politicians. Tim Waltz AOC Elizabeth Warren Kamala Harris Taylor Swift Obama Hilary Clinton

[@dogtrainingmexico]

Agree that Elon is neurodivergent, as is my nephew, however he also a megalomaniac operating only in his self interest and maximizing his profits... I have not seen any contributions to society, or even any interest in doing so

[@denisemichelle878]

It was not a NAZI salute. He hit his heart with that same hand and threw it to the crowd. Like throwing a kiss, but heart instead.

[@mokahgirl5165]

That palm was down so... it was DEFINITELY bordering on salute territory.

[@msarikah]

😅❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@lisam501]

It could be musk meant what he did 😂 no rationalizing needed.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

He didn't make a nazi salite@ that was a ridiculous smear, out of his control. He is a bit awkward at times but it was not a nazi salute

[@tarajh]

"Out of his control?" 😂 He did it TWICE. I'm autistic & awkward too, and I've never accidentally made a vulgar gesture or fired off a racist tweet. If I had, trust that I'd be mortified and apologizing to anyone who would listen, not cracking jokes and making N*zi puns.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

@tarajh, you've read beyond the salute. It seems a few others have not :)

[@lanaashford2192]

You want everyone to sound “canned”. We are sort of sick of that.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Wow, if I am reaching everyone, I AM GRATEFUL!

[@helenryan5217]

I was with you until you suggested Elon's Nazi salute wasn't intentional.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

What? I didn't suggest that. I suggested he unintentionally let his inner nazi slip out.

[@cbeautifulworld11]

@helenryan5217 He said the exact opposite. Fortunately.

[@catdean828]

Appreciate your information. Please note that not only the political right has used hand salutes that mimic the Nazi salute. Please do not bring politics into your videos. It just ruins it.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Watching and commenting on individuals who happen to be politically influential is not bringing politics into my videos. For example, if I saw a video of a politician mocking the disabled, I might very well comment on it--regardless of the politics of the offender. I might note that this is not a loving way to communicate--because it is not a loving way to communicate, regardless of which hat you wear.

[@dramafan08]

Awesome as always. Thank you for acknowledging neurodivergence. 👏🏽 🪄

[@desertpatient]

Good Afternoon, Great video as always. As we have communicated over the year, I have expressed that I am profoundly dyslexic (a neurodivergent brain pattern). Elon has Aspergers Syndrome so also a neurodivergent brain. I don't communicate in language but in visual terms. Such that I must convert my visual thoughts to language and then I must communicate a person's language back into visual patterns. Such that I can easily understand nouns and verbs where as connector words are often missed. I am much more inclined to give Elon a pass for his comment and arm gesture. Just the other day I was speaking with another person and hit the person next to me with pretty much the same gesture. I believe neurodivergent people speak with their hands perhaps more the than others? To me I did not see anything but his trying to share his heart with the people. When not working as a dentist, I work with neurodivergent children and fit into their lives which often those that are not neurodivergent cannot reach. Tomorrow I start lesson 43. You are more of a blessing than you might know and are so appreciated.

[@dystopian2153]

Thank you for your wise insight. I agree. 😊

[@lyutprok]

first of all Asperger's was moved as a diagnosis to "in the spectrum" of autism a while ago. secondly, you are generalising neurodiversity, putting all of them in the same bix as "hand communicators". he did in the past made a heart gesture to the audience, which did not involve a straight right arm into the air like a salute. finally, instead of acknowledging this fiasco he tweeted a bunch of nazi puns as a response, thinking it would be hilarious. you must be aware that putting him behind the shield of autism is you being gullible

[@desertpatient]

❤

[@jesar6058]

Your description of how you communicate by way of converting or describing your visual images caught me off guard because I do basically the same thing, and naturally, I assumed everyone did. Do they not?

[@themuse11]

I'm an Aspie and my neurodivergence is similar to Elon's. When I saw him do that, I cringed so hard. That's me. When we get excited, or have big, heartfelt emotions - we can misfire spectacularly. Some of the most embarrassing moments of my life are misfires, moments that were intended to be positive, or reach others' hearts - but alienated everyone.

[@reachlove6779]

❤