3 Dirty Ways Narcissists Always End Relationships

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Do you want to know more about how to fight back when a narcissist ends the relationship? Join me on my free live masterclass Outsmart the Narcissist: The 4 Step Proven Plan to Take Back Your Power. Sign up right here>>> slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrainingrz-3627

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

I will be there to answer all your questions!

[@DeannaHenton]

I'm trying to get these people in court and I am having problems with the government saying that I was mentally incompetent but they can't prove this and the government is totally involved with this Rico case of my whole life these are government, county's police, FBI .... can you please help me before they finish up and try killing me again.. they have my daughter and tried killing me and my son I've nursed many family members through hospice and so on I've done Ben out of a wheelchair lately due to poisoned me. Beat almost to death hit by truck and I have NO harmful record I believe in God and Jesus christ, who's been with me, I'm in my 60s they've taken All of my inheritances they put a death certificate on me and life insurance policies, stocks bonds and properties which they're saying they're going to burn down the home of mine they're living in. So much more. Scared my therapist, she stopped talking to me period dot

[@DeannaHenton]

@RebeccaZungEsq I'm just now learning how to get into this the government wouldn't let me have any phones long enough to learn anything let alone laptops computers do not acknowledge my name for decades

[@DeannaHenton]

@@RebeccaZungEsq I'm going to need help. My phone has been hacked again since June when I got it

[@DeannaHenton]

@@RebeccaZungEsq they have a hit on me again right now

[@MidnhtCrzr]

Narcissists don't like others for who they are. They only like the things that others do for them.

[@margaretaloucado4308]

Sometimes the victim of narcissists jump out of the relationship suddenly and go no contact for survival sake and look like the bad guy…

[@ssentieri]

@margaretaloucado4308 Hi. I live with my narcissist, so it's real hard to live with, but I BECAME REAL STRONG and do my best no contact here, but I'm hovered and I need to remind myself tattoo "Don't forget" on my wrist

[@RachelAmmons]

@@ssentieri maybe just write it for a while… or wear a bracelet with it on there Don’t let a narc cause you to get a tattoo you’ll have for life. Someday when you’re healed you may want to forget that person altogether - not the same as forgetting what they did and allowing them back - and you may not wanna look at that tattoo anymore.

[@ssentieri]

@RachelAmmons Hi. Thank You so much for sharing this with me I do agree your right I definitely would never now. 😊 🙏 tu

[@tiffanywhipple7174]

I just left a real bad relationship to my husband. The hardest thing for me is that I love him, but I can't live with someone who constantly tells me I'm lying, cheating, and doing things I don't do. God knows I don't have time for the stuff he accused me off. So why is it that I miss him. Is it because I have been manipulated for so long? This is so hard

[@cecillebalignasay7358]

Very true! And then it is made even worse with the lies and the smear campaign.

[@eiehe93-]

Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, if you need to find out about a cheating narcissist, send a request to MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.

[@MulliganCDN]

@@eiehe93- Wow, I've never read such a well written comment before. This was very helpful and eye opening. Trusting your intuition is probably the best thing that I will take from this. Going against your intuition for too long can really have a negative affect on yourself. I'm realizing this about myself as I type this.

[@AdrienneSweazz]

@@eiehe93- Amazing response!! Thank you

[@CarolDubiel]

Very well written Ms Linda, recognise so many signs, thank you x

[@researchclue2020]

This is gold! 💯 accurate and eye opening. Thank you.

[@deewitt8693]

@@AdrienneSweazz she knows the subject, unlike you

[@dlopez7517]

1. Sudden Discard 2. Smear campaign - make you look like the bad guy 3. The hovering -coming back

[@siboneypeltier2307]

1. It is not a sudden discard, they have been working on this for a long time, even years, to ensure they will end up with all you both have worked together for 2. smear campaign is to ensure you are left with no support system, shows you your friends are not worth your time 3. the 'hoovering come back' is because they inadvertently left something open for you...legally, both names on a home? car? life insurance? by love bombing you, you will NOT protect your legal rights/claims on these things...after all, it was their money, NOT yours that paid for everything, your contribution is not worth the blood and pain they went through to achieve these things! GIVE IT UP! or it could be as simple that they want to ensure a warm heart (sex) to come to should things get a little cold with their new love? 4. LOL! don't fall for it, you are just a stepping stone, they already have a beloved waiting in the wings!

[@Wavecloudlining]

Thanks - talking heads so boring

[@hairlessharescrambler56]

My ex wife smeared me to her friends and family a long time before she told me to leave and she told me I couldn't take my belongings or she'd get the police involved which she did anyways and I left with a change of clothes and wondering what just happened,she sold the house and everything in it then moved in with her boyfriend that she had been seeing while I was at work,she ran out of money then seen I was doing good and was able to get my life back on track and she tried for months to contact me and get me to go out for drinks so I blocked her,then she knew my favorite hangout place after work and started showing up there so I just stay home now and have nothing to do with her and life is alot better

[@giannamicha3122]

There's no supportive people. It's just "Yourself, Yourself, and Yourself".

[@CarolDudeck-bl7kz]

Yes nobody understands narcissism!🥶

[@Oceansgreen]

You are so right… I feel so alone some days. Family cannot see what the narc has done.

[@JaceHerrod-wp1tk]

❤️‍🔥🇮🇱✡️🦅✝️Charitable response. "God Bless You"🙏🛐☦️🐕‍🦺🐾. ...

[@ALICEY.SIMPSON]

@@giannamicha3122 so true amen

[@ALICEY.SIMPSON]

It's just me,me,me myself & I. Bless you I'm right there with you & all that are being attacked & done this way

[@denisereich1485]

After 32 years - he asked for a divorce. I told him i didn’t want one. He said I didn’t have a choice. Found out he had a girlfriend. Didn’t ever discuss it. Hindsight, best thing that ever happened to me. I thank God everyday.

[@CarolDudeck-bl7kz]

Mine was dating on 3 separate dating apps. I was so dump I trusted him 100% for 20 years but now I know everything about narcissism it’s been “9” years exhausting but you get stronger!🙏

[@CarolDudeck-bl7kz]

Yup he played the victim in court ohhhhhh poor me she was so mean and the new supply was rubbing his back in court luckily the judge saw right through!🙄

[@AngiebLee-to3zi]

@@denisereich1485 let his ass go because it's not going to get no better let him go and destroy some one else life trust and believe you will feel better run and don't look back they are big liars manipulators cheaters con artists wannabes backstabbers he already started a smear campaign on you trust and Believe if you have a girlfriend let her deal with all the crap because he leave you and go to someone else he going to still be a narcissist and she's going to get it to worse and when he leaves don't let his ass come back don't care if he call cuz he going to call gaslight you don't fall for it cuz if you come back it's going to get worse let him go and trust and believe you will start getting your blessings

[@limitlesspossibilities444]

@denisereich1485 why wouldn't you want a divorce

[@limitlesspossibilities444]

​@@CarolDudeck-bl7kz likewise my judge called him out and absolutely ruined his reputation. He was shamed

[@lindabraucht4712]

Trauma bond is extremely painful. You think about the person and situation non-stop. It’s a dopamine addiction without the drug. Like withdrawal. Shock, pain, shattering. You must retrain your brain to stop the cycle in your head. Focus on reality. Whatever you are doing, concentrate on that. Not the turd. It’s a process. Get a dog and go walking. Concentrate on the surroundings. Concentrate on what you like.

[@orvelorten5586]

@@lindabraucht4712 Thank God I have 3 dogs...free therapy and unconditional love.

[@saragolightly]

Thank you for this. Even 3 months later, I still get stuck in those loops. But honestly - every time I pull myself out of that, it feels like my brain gets to go on vacation. Real life might be missing the fictional man that I thought he was, but real life is so much calmer without him. I can breathe again.

[@mammadingo9165]

Oh how they use the dog against you 😭 so hard to maintain focus on what is going on when the fear of what is happening blinds you

[@orvelorten5586]

@@mammadingo9165 she can have the house...but I took my 3 fur babies and moved on

[@MiaK06]

Oh is it ever. What’s scary is is that so many of us - and I include myself in this - lead such independent and successful lives and we would never put up with this treatment from other people / I know I wouldn’t Yet there a select few who seem to have that hold on us where we tolerate some of the most abhorrent behaviours directed at us; yet, we still feel elated when the narc throws us a breadcrumb It’s sick, it’s pathetic and I often ask myself what in the world has happened to me But I also know that beating myself up over it won’t help. Breaking that trauma bond is the only thing one can do and I am determined to do it There does come a time when the concept of spending one more day in this hell is worse than the idea of kicking this person out of your personal life

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

It’s similar to a stranger walking up to you and slapping you across the face and then running away. You are left thinking what the F just happened ?

[@bodymindsoul60]

@@KleeKaiBreeders couldn’t have said it better🎯

[@lesbuttrey9730]

@@KleeKaiBreeders nice way of putting it

[@pegggymallis324]

Like Will smith slapping Chris Rock at Academy Awards.

[@mysticjen379]

💯

[@wyattbrule12688]

Absolutely

[@peterknyk1942]

Simply said, they are “low down” and operate 24/7 without a conscience!

[@lingriffin6362]

That person who treated you like garbage? You are better off without them, you deserve better !! If people believe the awful things they're saying about you, you don't need them either!! You deserve better!! These awful people are NOT lying in bed at night crying into their pillow over you!! They have NO regard for you or your feelings. Good bless you all,and good luck for a happier and peaceful future 👌💖

[@kky.x]

Mine told me he has a very detached coping style and also a dissociative disorder so its hard for him to show he cares. He was always so full of excuses for everything

[@SheilaKirebeda]

Amen

[@cheririvas2707]

We adopted a very cute 5 year old with lots of mental issues. No one, social workers, teachers, foster parents had a clue how to handle/deal with this kid. But everyone wanted her because she was adorable..charming. She turned 21 and found another supply, a 35 year old man and she did what you said in the video. Every STEP!! I shared your video with my entire family who had to live through those years with me and her dad. 1. She just left. She told the cops to keep us away. 2. A week later, she started the smear campaign on social media and reached out to certain family members to bash us. It's been happening for the last year. She won't stop. 3. Now she wants an apology from us. While still smearing us. Your video was EXACTLY what happened! Thank you for helping us. We have been having a tough time trying to understand what the hell happened!! We've got a lot of documentation. I'm glad you mention that in the video too. It's been awful. You really helped us with the video to understand, it not us. Thanks again!❤

[@cheririvas2707]

She's hoovering today. With the family. We all replayed your video.❤

[@dr.bhavnaprabhakar4208]

Exactly - they leave suddenly, bad mouth about you and then they come back! 😓

[@elle2437]

I divorced him 7 years ago. He’s hoovering - still- via our daughter being the victim. He’s got a ‘PhD’ in gaslighting. My daughter is stressed because I told her I wasn’t going to be controlled by him through her. It’s tough but the only way. By getting educated and accepting he will NEVER change has empowered me to say NO. Have supportive friends, go for walks, take good care of yourself, counseling, journaling, good diet, be creative, start loving yourself. I realized the tough times lead to change for the better when you don’t give in. ❤❤❤

[@justasimplesomeone]

@@elle2437 Phd in gaslighting! Love that!

[@donttreadonme2]

Love this post. Thank you. I need to do this.

[@donttreadonme2]

​@@justasimplesomeonethat really is the best line ever!

[@sandistroud7669]

After 23 years living together I had a heart attack and he disappeared a month later and ghosted me and never heard from him again. I am going through the legal part now but very stressful. Never knew another human being could be so shabby and disrespectful. Thankyou for your video...really helped.

[@pacs0508]

@@sandistroud7669 🙏🏾

[@CorinnaHaunschmid-lg7vp]

I hope you are well now!

[@travelwithsouthernchick5112]

13 years of married to the man who just walked away!!! I stop trying instead heal and move forward my mental health and peace is everything!!! I did not know how to understand a person like this!! We are not losing but winning! They love control!

[@sovereign8043]

Reverse discard...created an unbearable environment of confusion and neglect. Trauma bond....insidious pain.

[@dhamon-pi6os]

Then play dumb when you question them

[@pietpompiepompiepiet940]

@@dhamon-pi6os yip i get the zombi stare

[@shannonbishop7785]

I went through a reverse discarded. I didn't date for two years. Start to date... Bam another one. I called them out and they disappeared. I'm done, no more dating for me. Never again. I don't even want friends either. I have gone through all of this alone.

[@fokker34]

I want to harden my heart too, I'm so broken and the trauma bond is real. I refuse to have selective amnesia. I hope I let someone into my life in the future but I am going to be very closed off for quite some time.

[@cc1k435]

I can understand the urge. ❤

[@helder6175]

I hear ya. More than ever, people are so self-centered, flaky, inconsiderate, distracted, etc. thanks to their social media and smart phones. Don't give up, though. There are many others out there just as frustrated as you are. Best of luck.

[@roberttruman8444]

I don't have any motivation at the moment to find a date or friends, but hopefully it's just temporary. I hope you get back on the horse soon and don't let a few bad experiences define the rest of your life. Just out of interest was it online dating you tried? Internet dating is meant to be a breeding ground for narcs.

[@dancindebs1]

@@shannonbishop7785 friends evoperate and do not understand the depth hurt that a soul is unfairly subject to. Stand strong. God is with you. As Rebecca says. Your gut knows

[@donaldgansky5907]

I had number 1 done to me. The discard out of the blue. Worst thing that ever happened to me. Your explanation is dead on point. You nailed it. Great video. 5 years from the narcissist and living my best life. I now know what I didn’t know. I gave myself closure.

[@CynthiaCinelli]

Always hot & cold, VERY CONFUSING.

[@maesmith3310]

Yes, yes absolutely 😢

[@aliceparker9115]

He never tells me he loves me but he tells his sisters and all his kids I love you.we have been together 22 years.i have asked he never answer me. Help why?

[@leannewalsh5339]

Dont go back or look back I am stronger i am moving forward with my broken foot i am educating myself & will not let anybody treat me like crap 🎉 Thankyou

[@sarahmiles8131]

When they suddenly discard just send them a final message of kindness and support wishing them well in their personal development, that you hope they become happier in themselves, but tell them you do not feel it healthy for you to receive contact in the future. Then block them on everything. No dramatic reaction just a calm way of gaining your own closure. Then reach out to your friends and family be honest and open about whats happened and how much you need their support through this. Then all you need to do then is focus on yourself no matter what they do dont react stay calm stay silent and just keep moving forward. Focus on where youre going and you will move through it to a much happier peaceful place. Nothing and no one deserves your wellbeing more than you, thats yours, guard it ❤

[@VirginiaK-d5t]

saramiles8131 Good advice! Thank you!

[@josheichholz1666]

Great advice but much easier said than done

[@michaelthompson-li7zs]

@@sarahmiles8131 i did the same best wishes message and expected the hoover. .when it came i allowed it, shield up and im playing them at their game !!

[@ladyv5655]

I consider myself fortunate as I wasn't married to my narcissistic ex and I was the one who ended the relationship, and so it was on my terms. The funny thing was, about 5 years later, he called me and since I was bored, I decided that I would listen for a little while. He didn't disappoint. Among other things, he insisted that he was the one who ended the relationship, but he was willing to take me back. I didn't argue. I just let him talk for a few minutes before I ended the call, saying I was in a hurry. Amusing, really.

[@patriciasaratego3887]

He walked out without a goodbye or it’s over, nothing. Just left. I felt like discarded rubbish. 2 months down the track and still no phone call or text. Everything was ok. No arguments or fighting. Nothing. Just left in a rage and foul mood. Never seen him like that with me before. I’m sure he went to another woman as nothing else made sense as I knew he had nothing, no money and nowhere to go. Had to have been someone waiting for him on the sides. It destroyed me. Still having a very difficult time working through it.

[@kaoshi_kutie]

He will be back but don’t let him back in!! He has shown his true colours. Narcs typically have new supply groomed whilst they are still with you. He won’t change though . You dodged a bullet ❤

[@ShonnieDee-j6r]

@@patriciasaratego3887 My heart hurts for you. Did you start pulling away before he left?

[@SherryWilson-dk7bo]

You are fortunate that he is gone ❤🙌🙏

[@patriciasaratego3887]

@@ShonnieDee-j6rno. There were no obvious problems except he was in a very bad mood.

[@ShonnieDee-j6r]

I can relate to what you’re saying re: the nasty change of behavior which unfortunately you’re right about him finding someone else because that’s exactly how my ex boyfriend treated me too. Only I started to distance myself (Thanks to God) and within a short time he started to become nasty and would disappear from his phone at night which was out of character. I quit hearing from him or seeing him yet he still denied meeting someone until one day like a switch he exiled me after 7 years of daily communication ALL day everyday. Feels like a death. I’m so sorry you are suffering the pain. If you can try to talk to the new source because she too will suffer his abuse and she deserves a heads up.

[@IraBLiss-xp1le]

Yeah it happens out of the blue….once you learn the truth of who they really are….then you can heal cause its definitely not about you! They are toxic and predatory. Best thing is to get as far away from them and always reject the hoovering as they NEVER change, never. They are unable to fix themselves.

[@frisco-chick5399]

I had to purchase a lock box when I started documenting because he invaded any privacy I thought I had ! Main reason I started documenting was because he denies any verbal abuse & it’s so I often it was hard me to recall. I no longer engage ! Now I’m accused of being in a bad mood all the time. It never ends ! One thing I can’t stand is being asked who I’m talking to on the phone. No boundaries whatsoever 😮

[@jonathanross7673]

I threw my narcissist literally out the gate when he was attacking me, called the cops, then door slammed him and he got deported!

[@27niner]

Hi Rebecca. The sudden discard was the early sign but camouflaged in the ghosting so was hard to see. At this time I was calling out the behaviour but you know how that goes!!Cant tell you how many times I begged her not to txt me but midnight pings and 3 am taunts were ongoing… it was relentless even victimised taunts of suicide and victimisation. Hoovering was relentless when I stepped away. Today was the last day. Your insights have been invaluable🙏

[@edwardspriggs5076]

So true, you will always be the blame and to make sure, they will gaslight you to force you to make a mistake but don't take the bait.

[@tracyishealing911]

I fully intend to tell you the story of my DOUBLE discard, but not until my litigation is wrapped up and the final is signed. I promise, you’re not gonna believe this one. KEEP GOING, FOLKS.

[@taken...]

I subscribed just to hear your story😂😂😂... I WANNA KNOW. EVERYTHING ❤🎉 you go Tracy, you are strong !!

[@Cod12Osc]

I was discarded too....and the things he did after he discarded me were odd ...odd...I would love to hear your story. So sorry this happened to you.

[@parveenbibi9484]

I m from Pakistan and my husband is narcissist he tortured me since from 10 years, this sudden discard happened 😢😢 ,he said that you are not attractive i want to get second marriage she is so beautiful but still he doesn't married only tourturing me now by watching your videos i understand his behavior now feeling satisfaction nothing is wrong ime

[@PeterJeffery-iw7pq]

Be strong & don't give up as im sure they are just being hurtful to cover up a fault in themselves not a fault with yourself. He is being ugly by his actions.

[@withloveandrespectalways]

@parveenbibi9484 my case is my husband love bomb me for 3 years and convinced me to marry him. Suddenly, after my pregnancy he informed has a first wife with 2 teenager sons and he can't take any responsibility so he left me and my baby he is living permanently with his first wife and his sons. I got played by a narcissistic.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Nothing is wrong with you!!!!!

[@joannehajdics5100]

@@withloveandrespectalways eee

[@parveenbibi9484]

​@@nicholecornes1915thanks dear

[@royedwards9676]

Easy way to defeat the narcissist turn around walk away don’t engage it’s a total waste of time you can not reason with another human that blatantly refuses any accountability whatsoever! And the strongest defence against them is the word no !!! Bless you all and please be strong they are set to hurt you!!! And they don’t care!❤

[@lindabraucht4712]

After the discard, you think of many things you want to write or say. But don’t. Silence makes them think you don’t care. That’s the best medicine for both of you. You cannot fix a narcissist. You,ll waste your breath and they will be glad the hurt you. They feel power in your pain. Suffer with friends but smile to them as if you hardly noticed their discard.

[@roberttruman8444]

It's hard when you really want to confront them, not for ansers or validation, just to put them in their place and set boundaries that you didn't when in the relationhip.

[@LydiaKettle]

@@roberttruman8444 Yes but they thrive on all attention, positive and negative so you would be feeding them. As they say on the internet, "Don't feed the Troll", or in this case narcissist.

[@aliceevangelista8423]

I have learned after getting sucked back in time and time again. One week he says we’re absolutely in a relationship next week it’s “we’re close friends”….I’m done with that emotional manipulation

[@Marketsolo]

Mine gaslit me, set up situations to trigger me do I looked crazy, then found a new source and tried to kick me out. " he had discovered he didn't need me anymore, leave MY house, My kids, etc".. refused and he got ANGRY and made me feel worthless..but I refused to leave my kids - with whom he had as little to do with as possible with a new source to raise! I should have left with them. I stuck it out, thinking maybe it would be okay...

[@barbaragonzales5944]

My last selfless gift to the narc (after the kidney I donated to him, the house, & the hunting land up north) was for me to walk out & go totally no contact. Now he gets to be the victim - even though he kicked my ass twice & smashed my laptop (but no one will ever know that, of course). He'll say I cost him the best 18 yrs of his life, even though he got to retire early at age 54, just 6 yrs after we got married. Oh well, I just miss my dog.

[@jackiep5009]

Ok so discards are different than breakup. They are timed when you are comfortable and they think you need discipline. They are as destabilizing as possible and they super mean and smear campaign. I have been through two of these now. I know

[@MarkS-y6k]

I'm going through it right now with a neighbor across the hall. I've disengaged so she's smearing me something awful, it's so hard not to react

[@esterbaque7757]

Same happened to me with a neighbor, but he is a man an a teacher, and lives four houses away from me.

[@graceevertt2317]

Oh so true!! Married 44 years & he blurts out one day “I’m too selfish & self centered to be with anyone!” Made my life hell till he finally left. Thank God he’s gone! 😊

[@PeterMortensenLit]

Worst thing is that when you explain what happen... you seam like the Narci to others.

[@justasimplesomeone]

All can say is that I am hurting massively! I really believed this guy! Had me hook, line and sinker. Came after a very bad relationship with an very bad narcissist. Can’t believe that this recent guy turned out to be far far worse. No contact never ever ever again - can’t trust him - everything in the relationship comes into doubt now - how long has the betrayal gone on ??? . I need this wound to close. But it feels like I am walking on the edge of an emotional precipice just trying to survive day by day. But I’ll not let him win. I mean win me!

[@TJLove77]

I call them a sociopath I can't beat them...#2 spreading lies all over my city, I had to get away before I die,

[@wendaprior6160]

Oh yes every word you said is so true, it happened to me after a 18 year relationship - four of which we were married. He made it all look like my fault - using such small things it was incredible! He was 65 and went of with a woman who was 48 ,I think that is right. Devastating my life. Although I now know so much more about this type of person, and worked on my self a lot it still hurts and affects me.

[@robwarden3418]

Thank you that was totally my experience wife and the crazy thing is. 7 years later and after all she did to me and my family I still miss who I thought she was

[@scottbrandts610]

These psychos have absolutely learned the art of getting right into the CRAWLSPACE of your mind. They're in there before you even realise it sometimes. And that's the part of this life of torturing people that they've turned into a whole profession that makes every fibre in your being just want to get revenge and destroy them. They calmly sit back and let YOU have the realisation of the sabotage they've created, then the reaction you have to the sabotage, and casually watch you unravel in defeat, drawing absolute pleasure from it the whole while. They wait to see how you react and behave; then they adjust their response by default of how YOU'VE reacted. If you've responded with anger, they remain calm, so YOU look like the one who's out of control. If you respond calmly and grey-rock, they act like you've victimised them and you're uncaring. One of the best ways to never allow their lies and pretend-emotions to go undetected is to RECORD EVERY INTERACTION YOU HAVE WITH THEM. Video the entire thing. Then you have it. Youve got them. Whether recorded evidence can or will be permissable in a Civil Court will be subject to the laws governing your own particular country or region. BUT, a camera never lies. These professional life-crashers are so skilled. Undo them completely. Take notes, document and RECORD.

[@johncrouch6995]

This just happened to me. I have been asking myself every single thing you mentioned. Just completely shut me out. Her demeanor was so vicious so fast and unhinged I was completely caught off guard. I wasted so much time and money and energy trying figure out what I did that caused this and that resulted in absolutely nothing but cold air. I am in another state surrounded by friends and family now and moving on with my life. Definitely not interested in getting re-involved with anyone anytime soon. We were friends for 30 years and lived together for the last ten years and I never saw this side of her. Very scary.

[@HP-in8pl]

I went through the sudden discard. Things were going so amazing.... and then all of a sudden, the coldness and radio silence. The pull away. The sudden discard is such an accurate way of describing it

[@LisaSpanbauer]

Was with him fourteen years. Took care of him Through his double knee replacement. He told me he loved me and didn't know what he would do without me . A month later, he discarded me, like I was nothing. Like I was just a piece of trash he threw away

[@joonaspalin848]

I’m going through a break up like that right now!This helped me soooo much!Thank you.

[@Dei_Gratia_Rex]

Yeah…17 years of her control, abuse, and rollercoaster of emotions…I’m done. Done-done. I’m about to be living the life I was meant to live. I have four beautiful children with her, whom she is causing major damage to. I will be there for them. She’s history.

[@SomeswarDeChoudhury95]

Each and every word of yours is true, because I have faced someone who was very close to my heart! 💔

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

I am so sorry to hear. Sending you light.

[@amyberg9698]

Thank you for your video. It is empowering and encouraging. My soon to be ex-husband has done all three of the steps above. I'm actually experiencing the third step right now. I was able to move away from him to a safe and loving home about six weeks ago. He stopped all communication about 10 days ago. He was love bombing all the way up to the point I thought maybe it could work. Then ghosted me. I received divorce papers just this past Tuesday. He has now been trying to call and text. Leaving kind voicemail messages, kind text messages. He had also entered into a relationship with an ex-girlfriend of his about 8 weeks ago. They are no longer together either. Again, this video has given me renewed strength.

[@ladyagnes7781]

I thought I only had to deal with#2, but my ( main) narcissist did a bit of #1, & the #3 was suddenly when I got back with a mutual relative, narcissist acted like it was so wonderful to see me - like I had just been on a long trip. There was a vulnerable family member in the middle, so I had to focus on protecting/ freeing the vulnerable family member while putting up with the narcissist's crap for a while.

[@herbvoigt9002]

Thanks!

[@jackiep5009]

I call this the pedestal pull. Power and Control

[@6548ww]

I’m trying to get out of a relationship with a narcissist but she won’t leave we bought a house together was a huge mistake we tried to fix our relationship with counseling but as soon as questions were being asked about possible infidelity in the marriage she became very nervous and uncomfortable and she walked away from the program after only 7 sessions so not only is she a narcissist but now she has probably messed around on me to and refuses to talk about it made it clear to me she doesn’t want the topic to come up I am devastated to say the least

[@DanielleCross-m8c]

That's what I am experiencing in this situation 😮. Confirmation 👍 😅

[@hikefrost355]

i dated a girl for 3 years. at the 2 year mark, she pulled a sudden discard on me. She said she needed the summer to herself and needed to spend time with her friends. I could not believe it. It was out of left field. Imagine being in a flowing relationship and all of a sudden, boom, i need to do my own thing. And she cut me off, would not take my calls, avoided me, etc. I eventually moved on and said shes nuts, as i did not know the terms. She came back (hoover) months later when i stopped contacting her altogether for a while. Some other things, she was really bad with money, alot of credit card debt, always transferring balances, made me wait for her when i had important functions and needed her there at a certain time, and list goes on and on. She met some other guy and thats that... better for me,

[@DavidGraves-g3j]

They try to kill you, literally!

[@tml721]

YES! she was 2 of 3. And she STOLE many little things from me.All nickel and dime value items.

[@ConnieWilsonbricks101]

I didn’t do what he wanted because he was manipulating me! He wanted money I did not have. He discarded me today.

[@TheJimCarry]

My ex really messed me up with the manipulation gas lightning invalidating my feelings lying and deflecting everything away from her mistakes..... man why do they have to be this way.

[@KimStretch-v9s]

Omg! I'm new here but not to the bullshit I've been thru! I use well still do.....I honestly have NO idea he is screaming... blaming... carrying on towards my direction!!!! It's so crazy I literally look over my shoulder saying , ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME!??! Literally I've NO clue what I've done!! Crazy,. confusing terrifying & exhausting!!! WOW TY I don't feel alone anymore!!

[@anitajoels2064]

I just got a text msg blaming me for everything wrong in his life and then he blocked me turns out he was having multiple affairs

[@brysonmartin5405]

Wish I learned all this information years ago. It’s nice to hear it’s not all my fault!

[@arsenelupiniii8040]

Once again stoicism FTW! I think women should look into it. Also responding instead of reacting. Like lil kids the narcissist tries to make others react. Mature people will take time to think about a decision, that way we respond instead of react. I take a hole bunch of time when known NPD's try to get me to do something.

[@roberttruman8444]

There's a lot to be said about stoicism, I've recently started learning more about it. I am a little concerned about how it teaches us to desensitise ourselves. At times it feels like complete detachment from self, which helps limit the pain but also the pleasure. I hope I have it wrong but I feel it could lead to a more permanent numbness where you stop feeling the highs and lows of life, and instead feel like "Meh!"

[@SheaBaby81]

Going through the sudden discard now. One month in and I'm still a little disoriented.

[@pixiecat1111]

@@SheaBaby81 I am so very sorry as I know what kind of pain it can bring. It happened to me 7 years ago and it was so hateful and abrupt. Never had any discussion or received any warning. I can look back now and see how much I have accomplished and grown since he has been gone but at the time that wouldn't have seemed possible. Please know how much you deserve love, respect, loyalty and happiness. Your best revenge for the narcissist is to have a life well lived without them in it. May God bless you and bring you peace. ♥️

[@MrWhaatay]

1:10 and she hasn't even started yet. Stop wasting our time and just get on with it.

[@louisemorgan3237]

You can speed it up it cuts out the annoying vocal fry as well

[@rebeccaludwig142]

Wow, you are describing my fiancé who broke up with me. No reason he wouldn’t even talk to me. It was all over just like that watched all these narcissist videos, I realize he was a massive narcissist.

[@dianeboross6978]

It's never this simple, yet, being ghosted by someone you thought was close is painful. I was, but now, I understand why. Unless you only have friends who are exact mirrors of yourself, always remember, we come from different places and experiences. If being from a different place makes you contrary in someone else's eyes, then, why would they listen to you? In crisis, people need people who can relate and help, and not say, your perceptions are wrong, however well intentioned.

[@sebgreenfield8800]

Absolutely exactly as you've described has happened to me. Thanks Rebecca, it's very supportive to hear this being described.

[@DanielCampbell-h5z]

I love how all these people know what and how every situation perfectly makes them out to look like a victim. You being a weak person doesn't make the other person a narcissists by default so you can feel better about yourself. Powerful people don't need to take back their power. If you are in that situation than you never had any power to begin with. You want to keep narcissist at bay, just have boundaries and standards. It really is that simple since they pray on weak people.

[@SSV-i-c-e]

Just been through this it’s incredibly painful especially when you know you have been used im trying to carry on but its not easy luckily i know who i am.love from New Zealand 🇳🇿

[@drmichaeljosephserabianphd9533]

Healthiest presentation on coping with narcs, ever! Ty 👍💪👍 well done 😎

[@JU007.]

I faced exactly the same as you said and also reacted the same as i was unaware about this. Now i can reconnect all points what i was facing. Thanks for the Video

[@marialoring7623]

They exist!! I finally encountered a narcissist, you describe them to a T, thank you for your info! Your info gives me strength and knowledge is half the battle. Thank you so much. !❤

[@danielbtwd]

Just been in a short term relationship with someone who for me had more red flags than a Soviet military parade. I resisted any urge to judge her, but after a very short term being physically and verbally abused, I just ended it. Why even bother trying to explain. It's over. I so much want to help her, but my gut says staying with her will just be a world of pain. Its really hard to just walk away. Sad.

[@whitneysawyer483]

Been abused by a malignant narcissist. Not fun...aggressive. Stalkers...

[@zoebroadbent3009]

Will he stalk me me?😢

[@notthatmisi]

I like your style, how you expose the subject, Thank you

[@PamV-e5v]

Rebecca yr are Brilliant 🎉 everything lm going true. Right Now! Do Not message them back. You, are stronger. Start saying No.

[@CarolDudeck-bl7kz]

Exactly Rebecca they don’t have to do the hard work of being an adult!

[@DRodMuzicman]

It’s a good thing when a narcissist leaves you. LET THEM GO! Your re reaction should be relief. lol God bless you.

[@CD-wv2bd]

Rebecca, thank you for this video. You got my attention at 04:37-05:10. I really needed to hear this. I was stuck on reaching out to seek answers from my ex and trying to get an explanation in order that I get closure. It didn’t happen. Like you said, I need to basically let it go and FORGET ABOUT IT, just like you said.

[@carolcorbett-lc3lx]

Mine kicked me and our disabled son to the curb.

[@kaoshi_kutie]

😤😤😤

[@VirginiaK-d5t]

Wow ,Rebecca ,you described the behaviour of both my husbands to a Tee ! You have helped me so much ,thank you!!! I sometimes thought I was crazy,as they told me...thought everything was my fault...I'm in a better place now thanks to you!

[@mariannebauman3410]

I was kicked to the curb at 6 months pregnant bc he was cheating a month prior. He would be on his cell, not sitting beside me n talk snippy n rude prior to dumping me n never went to the hospital to meet his newborn daughter 😮

[@jetterry1679]

Thank God for R. Zung and her allies professionally exposing truths about narcissistic abusers... Thank God for everyone teaching truth to victims of Narcissistic tricks and trauma.

[@roxyjohnson5112]

Thank you - I’m a therapist, and my guy left after I showed a bit of anger after 3 years of living together.

[@ArthurRobinsonII]

Spot on! That just happened to me. I’m a week into the into the break up!

[@switchhazel3517]

This literally just happened to me. No answers. He cheated and lied and blindsided me.

[@michealnelsonauthor]

1) The Vanish 2) Smear Campaign 6:25 3) The Hoover. 10:00

[@peggywalter4609]

I had the heart ache abrupt break up with my Narcasit boyfriend. No closure, no answers, no calls, np nothing. Almost 6 years later, we are back together. So far so good, but I am holding my breath. You are so right about the Narcasits coming back. He started hoovering alright, But what's even worse is my Mother lives with me and she is a narcissist, and I am the Daughter.😢

[@Wendell-vc5lf]

I got out of a very toxic relationship with someone who’s a model he used his body and tricks to get me to fall in love then cheated on me then boom silence and then blamed me for everything

[@DaynaRenee-i5t]

I was dumped with a IG post of him on a date with the next victim with a caption saying, "date night"😮

[@johnhamilton4677]

These descriptions fit my wife to a T. Not only is she a narcissist, but she suffered a stroke in 2022 that damaged the left frontal lobe of her brain. She left a few weeks ago to go live with her daughter. I do still love her, but my life has been much less stressful than it has been in years.

[@virginiahoward1660]

My narcissistic ex just went ghost often I tried to attempt to reason with why they did it but this time they just went ghost I believe it’s for good. I’m relieved because no more games, no more hurt, lies, manipulation!

[@edwardmccolgan1728]

Good morning Rebecca - I hope all is well. I randomly came across your video about the ways in which narcissists end a relationship, and it has absolutely rang true to my current situation. About 6 weeks ago (ended last week of June 2024) I was blindsided when the female I had been seeing exclusively (since October 2023) broke things off completely out of nowhere, no warnings signs, no closure, no contact since ..she was gone. I sound like such a “lil b****” talking about it, but I’ve never been so shocked and utterly confused the way I have these last 6-7 weeks, or felt so powerless, in my 49 years. I haven’t “sweated” a girl since I was probably 20 years old. But to this day, and ever since that late June day when she “punched me in the mouth” (figuratively, not physically), I find myself shaking my head in disbelief multiple times a day, just trying to make sense of it all.. The positivity and chemistry between us was unreal, and fantastic, growing by the day. Our feelings for each other had reached a level to where I truly thought she was The One and we would ride off into the sunset hand in hand. Then the wind suddenly changed directions and her reasoning for ending things was based on the imaginary fabrications she had conjured, that “I had done”, which were trivial and not grounds to part ways, even if I had “committed the crime(s)”. What you said here was right on the money and helps to make some semblance of sense of it all. Thank you!

[@carlosvera2807]

Going through a discard right now after 16 years, it happened all of a sudden. However, it had been planned for months if not years. Definitely a casualty of mental health.

[@JL16061980]

Great video. Really needed this right now... wish I could stop attracting narcissists. 🙏

[@rapstar4575]

They are hell to deal with ❤