3 STUPID Essay Mistakes on the Common Application: DON'T DO THESE!!!

Want to get into college? Avoid these 3 stupid essay mistakes and increase your chances of writing an awesome essay!
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Produced by: David Paul
Edited by: Sara Lester

[@SupertutorTV]

Want to read these tips instead of watch? Check out the blog for this video: supertutortv.com/college/3-stupid-essay-mistakes-on-the-common-application-dont-do-these

[@Majestic469]

I don't know why I'm addicted to binge-watching this channel

[@npi8612]

x2

[@garvityadav1153]

Same vibe😂💘

[@johnathonlamoreax557]

Same

[@DanielaBodoh]

SAME!!!!! Like I literally already went through this whole process a year ago, and I'm literally moving into my dorm room in a month, and here I am just binge watching these for fun 😂

[@yohanserarias8904]

Same!!!! JAJAJA

[@michael50694]

These videos just stress me out.

[@kaiyabou]

same, but I still watch them.

[@user-tj6xo8nj4n]

Yea, she just complicated things

[@user-tj6xo8nj4n]

Most stupid thing : critisize ananymous"s essays.

[@maltedpeaches6796]

@@user-tj6xo8nj4n Actually, I find they're super helpful!! Her videos provide so much insight, I feel much better about writing an essay when she has provided yes's no's and examples of application essays :)

[@Amy-wr7pf]

Malted Peaches They’re helpful, but they make me feel stressed out cause I feel like I don’t have time for extracurriculars and neither the talent/intelligence to stand out in them. Considering that I’m a sophomore in high school, I only have 2 years to prove myself which seems like little time to me :(

[@kq3165]

make a video where you go through and fix these essays pleaseee

[@SereniaSaissa]

Fix these essays? That is not the tutors job. That is YOUR job to do. If you dont know how to tell a story then you have already missed out on college.

[@Majestic469]

SereniaSaissa that’s not helpful at all. The point of watching these videos is to learn HOW to write the essay and get good at it. Not everyone is a writing genius is like you.

[@aryanbista747]

@@Majestic469 I don't get these people.I mean I am good at logical reasoning,maths and Science in general but when it comes to literature I can't tell a story well and what's wrong in taking help in that.

[@BetteDavis19]

it's kind of hard to not be "melodramatic"-sounding, though, if you've had a really hard life and gone through a lot (and maybe that's why you didn't do the best in school), I don't want to come across insincere or over-the-top, but I do need my essay to show how much I'm going through to explain how I've done in school.

[@Crunchyapples1]

there's a fine line though

[@SupertutorTV]

If you actually had a hard life, that's drama not melodrama. Many kids have not actually have much of a hard life and pretend that simple things in their life were absolutely grueling, amazing or otherwise hyperbolic. That's the issue.

[@mahimasrivastava2080]

As you said, we're teenagers, we think the work we do is amazing. We're excited. And now I'm annoyed.

[@squidward9155]

I’m a vibrant writer okay I can’t HELP but be melodramatic it just happens 🤦‍♀️

[@reshad3844]

You are awesome for creating all the videos for us high schoolers, especially the act videos! Been a huge help

[@SupertutorTV]

Thank you!

[@emberd-l795]

I just don’t know how to start it.

[@tamiancube8521]

Just start writing

[@BetterThanYou96]

Oh wtf? I really wish I watched this before I applied for ED.

[@saffronyoutubeshorts]

How did things turn out?

[@CarolMcNally]

I love your videos, Brooke! I use them in the SAT Prep classes I teach.

[@tomahawk3645]

the tilt on your camera is freaking me out

[@oliviadelrosario7380]

i hate that i read this comment cuz now i'm annoyed at the camera tilt too

[@shadesofpurplex]

I can’t stop seeing it now 😭

[@Outlandishoutset]

It feels like her books are about to slide off her shelf

[@awesomesmith4489]

nooo I didn't even see it now its I all see

[@sheraanmartin7501]

WELL NOW THAT U BROUGHT IT UP

[@andromedastars8939]

HA they accidentally submitted their physics paper

[@SomethingToThinkAbout2002]

XD

[@hutsko]

Thank you!!

[@shmomo]

Take a shot every time she blinks...

[@erik6276]

shmomo *ends up like Amy Winehouse*

[@prabhleenreen3594]

bro lmaooooooooooo u do NOT understand how fuckin hard I laughed at this. literally best comment ive ever read not even exaggerating

[@user-tj6xo8nj4n]

Melodramic

[@user-tj6xo8nj4n]

Stamford coming out

[@sowhatandisaidhi2235]

I dont want to die

[@Sofia-wl3ee]

who else feels super spiteful and petty like I wanna write a melodramatic, impenetrable and impersonal essay now just cuz she said don't do it

[@dye4na]

That's the problem with us teens. We just Have to do the things we were said not to

[@lifeafterlawschool4842]

I’m an adult who just finished grad school and it made me feel that way 😬. I don’t get this and it has upset me 🤪😬.

[@saksezo]

2:20 The most beautiful "it's unrealistic" expression I've ever seen, lol.

[@calvinat792]

Thank you

[@anumtayyab6672]

Now I have a feeling that my essay is melodramatic. Rip

[@dr.jamieadamspleasantph.d.1609]

as always! u r awesome!

[@Leediaa]

Thank you so muchhhh ❤️

[@Chiagoziebelolise]

Thank you for this! I'm addicted to this channel... I'm international, I don't know if you could help review my essay as I'm not used to the American style of writing...

[@user-ye8tf1mi9e]

This Chanel is just super helpful and also interesting

[@ayuanf]

You are amazing!

[@fatimasaleh4542]

CANT BELIEVE IM WATCHING THIS AFTER SUBMITTING ALL COMMON APP DECEMBER 7TH (wish I subscribed)

[@richardmajece5498]

By the way, your videos are quite useful for students! Using your videos and my fav source nerdymates I managed to pass my exam so thank you! I like your videos so I want you to mprove your channel! Good luck to you with your teaching!

[@sophiakloster7980]

can/should you use dialogue in essays that include personal stories?

[@povhengyam3395]

One thing that I learn how to write a good college essay is to always make yourself the main character in the essay. And don't try to tell everything, just focus on the time and space that you in, (if you telling a story). If you guys has more tips, comment down below!

[@viveklall698]

Hope u are well

[@saadboudad8578]

Hello , What do you guys think about having a WhatsApp group to discuss college application, give feedback on essays, and talk about SAT if some of you are going it in December. We all need help from time to time, and this might me an enriching experience tho.

[@samriddhisangraula7068]

SAAD SLAYER that's a great idea!

[@milannoss]

Hey, do you still have it?

[@yeredithcruz6414]

Hello, do you still have it ?

[@gm7161]

I am grateful that you take the time and energy to put such a message out, as it will definitely help most applicants. I personally find them interesting because I am an admissions interviewer for a top univ. I never read the essays, but have chats with them. I think you have some great points about exaggerated themes, as well as the fluff essay at the end. I would only ask you to literally acknowledge that your own terminology such as "down to earth, or accessible, etc" are value-laden terms, subjective terms, and even ethnocentric terms. Please, for your own integrity as a person in the helping profession provide a little disclaimer, rather than think that every college wants something like what you prefer. The second example of the math student is too dry in my opinion, but remember, students are not applying to be on Jimmy Kimmel, but to pursue advanced studies, and so it is not inappropriate for them to be sharing some of their knowledge. I think the person just went on too long about it, but that it could have been a topic to utilize. So funny how all of the admissions advisers like yourself are all telling people to be informal and down to earth! That's a very American bias, but.......no one is paying any attention to that. Nor is anyone urging that applicants frame their expertise around a more specific experience, which seems to be more of what you are indirectly suggesting. You use the terms "wow factor, learn something personal, and down to earth" and others, which would essentially require a specific personal experience, which could then explain WHY they had interests in some major or academic goal. Interesting video, but I think you could improve it with less emphasis on "dumbing down" the essay language and suggesting that applicants discuss experiences with reflection rather than just inspiration and emotion.

[@cricobug9778]

Hello

[@bpxl53yewz29]

That was so funny when she said “I don’t even know what you’re talking about “ with the science/math essay. When I saw the formula, I just tuned out. Lol

[@zooks7318]

bro wrote about the time period for a swinging pendulum and made it more complex than it actually is 💀💀

[@expiringphilosophy7605]

Oh well.

[@siddharthan571]

Hey! I wrote my essay About my parents divorce and hardships in life. I then talk about how I was introduced to robotics and completely changed my life taking me to extremely high levels including leading the country thrice and ending by thanking everyone and how I anticipate college. Is this a safe topic?

[@SwagDawg]

Siddhartha N nope

[@stinhuffine4422]

I believe it is Harvard material

[@sophiam.1625]

How does divorce and robotics relate? Also, I'm not trying to minimize your harships, but divorce is pretty common.

[@katelamb8787]

I'm going to apply to Vanderbilt ed2. Can someone please give me feedbacks on my essay? Thanks! :)

[@FernandoRodriguez-ge2tg]

It looks like a physics write up

[@yogitasarode4183]

Can you please help me by checking my sat eassy practice tests

[@sumeyye7370]

Hey Brooke(?), your videos have been helpful.thanks for that. I have a question my subject test scores are out and i got 800 on sat math2 but unfortunately got 690 on bio E. I wanna study business because of this math2 was recommended. Would my bio E scores hurt my chances of getting into an Ivy?

[@user-gz7ix3uy7b]

Did you get into Ivy?

[@shaxzodaikramova4500]

Great😘😘😘😘

[@regal432]

I have no epiphany/aha moment :(, liked what i like since before i can remember (tho wasn't always my main goal) but wasn't really an aha moment for that either

[@elroiadamneh8475]

Hi I am going to take SAT could u tell me where the SAT book is found pls

[@ebonih7138]

My essay was too negative

[@viveklall698]

How is the sat and Act exams

[@lucigi]

hahahahahahahaha I don't know what I'm doing anymore

[@CC-qi8oe]

Mood. My essays are due in 5 days and I'm just starting. Now I feel like I have to rewrite everything.

[@jenniferou]

For real, I already messed up lol

[@yinayang1407]

Hi! How can I get you to read through my college essay because I feel like you are super helpful and I'm hoping that you can take a look at mine personally if possible, please? Do you offer this kind of services? Thank you!

[@samriddhisangraula7068]

Yina Yang in the comments, people are volunteering to read each other's essay. If you want, I can read your essay and provide feedbacks as I don't know you, that would be helpful. You can send it to me @[e-mail]

[@mehmetnadi8930]

love it when she gets mad at the essay lol

[@user-ft7xr4nr8q]

I am a student from China and I am having some trouble with my essays. Though I try my best to write them, I always consider there is something that I can do better. I wonder that can you guys help me with them? Thanks a lot!

[@saadboudad8578]

张孟晋 what do you need ?

[@FernandoRodriguez-et7qj]

You should do random drawings for prizes

[@jennflprofileupdated8931]

Essays!!

[@barbarasemidey9789]

Hi there! I'm an international student and I need some help finding some safety schools where i might have high chance of acceptance while also being able to recieve financial aid..(as much as possible obviously) Sadly I cant afford any advising programs but I've been nonstop watching your videos! Is there any advice you can give me?? tysm

[@tmdsb2655]

Hi! Do you know the relative location of where you’d like to study? If you want to come to California, Cal State schools are great.

[@barbarasemidey9789]

@@tmdsb2655 im down to go anywhere as long as i get good financial aid lol

[@user-zw8ms5ke5d]

barbara semidey lol same

[@jennflprofileupdated8931]

Yey!!!!

[@aiyanash8027]

I applied to NYU Stern ED and I'm extremely worried because my gpa is a little on the low side. Can someone read my essay and tell me how it is?

[@anthonyliddie2222]

I’ll read it if you want

[@aiyanash8027]

My SAT is a 780 math 690 reading/writing, and my gpa is 3.43 unweighted 4.0 scale and 4..08 weighted 5.0 scale

[@anthonyliddie2222]

Amazing !! I️f you want to email it would be easier for feedback

[@aiyanash8027]

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. To most people, the stock market is an indicator of economic strength or a way to retire, but to me, it has become a game. However, when I first came into this “game,” it was out of necessity, even desperation. “We may not have enough money saved for all three of you to go to a university,” my Dad explained to my two sisters and me. Our jaws dropped like pianos from the sky. My parents said were supposed to pay for our college using their 401ks, but they lost a lot of the money they saved in their accounts during the 2008 recession. I knew I would need to find a way to pay for our education. Unfortunately, my parents forbade me from getting a job, preferring that I focus on academics. Besides, even a part-time job would not pay for my parents’ retirement and my education. That’s when I found a way to make money while helping my mom with the math on her MBA homework: stocks. One problem: I did not have enough money saved to start an account with a realistic return to pay for college. However, my parents had recently switched to IRA retirement accounts, which allowed me to individually buy stocks on their retirement savings and hold a sufficient amount of capital. During my free-time, I studied finance, calculus, and economics so I would be able to offer my parents good stock tips. I watched KZbin videos of interviews and lectures featuring financial advice from successful investors, such as Warren Buffett. During my studies, I found a helpful equation to calculate the fair price of a stock: the Discounted Cash Flow. Finally, our opportunity arrived when the stock market fell due to the Brexit voting results and fears over the 2016 election. At that time, there were many undervalued investment opportunities. Unfortunately, the stocks that we purchased stayed down due to continued fears over the election, and they stayed down for a while. On top of this, balancing stock trading and school work was difficult since the market was only open during school hours. I would text my Dad stock tickers to buy in the middle of class, and then value stocks (perhaps ironically) using calculus during my algebra two class after I finished my work. My stocks eventually made a significant profit at the end of the year. The portfolio went up over thirty percent (not including investments outside of the portfolio like ethereum and other cryptocurrencies, which would bring that percentage to about one hundred percent), which is higher than the average annual return of even the most successful investors. Eventually, I made enough money to pay for the entire college tuition requirement for both my older sister and me. Something that started out as a necessity turned into both a passion and a hobby. Finance has instilled in me an undying confidence that makes me a better student and a better leader. I found the importance of learning from my mistakes. On the investments on which we lost money, I had to evaluate my missteps in order to never make those mistakes again. Also, I became a stronger reader. I can often tie what I learned from my readings back into financial theory. Managing a portfolio has made me a better leader by improving my decision-making skills as I compare the risks and rewards of every move I make. Though I have done quite well, there is certainly more to be learned. As fun as this “game” is to me, I want to master it well enough so that it is no longer gambling. That is why I am excited to pursue finance.

[@rickjames2584]

i like the topic of the essay and it has great potential. However, I really didn’t feel a sense of emotional connection with the younger version of you. Yeah, it’s great you solved a significant problem and found a passion along the way, but try and incorporate sensory aspects to engage the admission officer with your story

[@annadaae26]

How about a letter to my sister who died while I was in High School. The subject is what I learned about life, and myself since her death.

[@6thyonko265]

What school are you applying to

[@gn2630]

idk if you submitted it yet, but i personally think thats a great topic! If its written well, I think itll be something admission officers really like

[@howardxing5885]

Me: perfect score on story writing in school Also me: Bad score on essays. So do I get a good mark?

[@anthonyliddie2222]

Hey, I️ applied to Columbia University early decision and I’m really nervous about the decision. My SAT scores are a little on the low side for Columbia. Can someone read my application and common app essay (I’ll still be applying to Tufts, and Upen). ☹️. Thank you

[@beywhitaker8300]

good luck and I applied too

[@anthonyliddie2222]

Bey Whitaker good luck to you too !

[@anthonyliddie2222]

Bey Whitaker do you think you have a good chance ?

[@youssefrefaat1594]

hey ... I can help with that

[@anthonyliddie2222]

youssef refaat how would you like me to send it ?

[@Leediaa]

Hihihi this melodrama thing scared me 😂😂😂😂😂😂 okay okay

[@ilia_d3m0]

Ok now Im super confused! In one video she says you want to make depth and avoid being generic by just explaining what you did, and in another video she basically says don’t make it that deep. What I am then supposed to do?!?!

[@brookifyd]

I'm not saying don't be deep-- I'm saying AVOID MELODRAMA which is making stories out to be more grandiose than they actually are-- it's being overly dramatic and acting like you saved the world when you just volunteered one Sunday at a soup kitchen. And I also say don't be IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND -- I want you to go deep but you must be CLEAR and READABLE and I must be able to understand what you're talking about (i.e. you must explain jargon, etc.)

[@panamamike3823]

Why does the college need to know who I am?

[@infinitefuture1828]

Hey tell me something, I'm from India and I have come up with theoretical cure for cancer just need to test it and I'm 100% sure that it'll work, should I mention this in my essay?

[@lillieflower372]

Enchantix Harmonix Yup... Can't wait to here about you on the news :)

[@nickspringer5755]

Enchantix Harmonix right

[@pipersolanas3322]

This one is so funny I-

[@JustAnotherLokiStan]

"theoretical cure for cancer" uhhhhh did you do any hands on research or are you just capping lmao

[@megancruse711]

Is it weird that I'm a freshman in highschool and I'm watching these

[@afiaoduro-manu2349]

Megan Cruse nope

[@peacehope8972]

nah dude same, i'm a freshman and watching this 😀😂

[@mahimasrivastava2080]

But she's helpful

[@mahimasrivastava2080]

Just when I was beginning to think I don't have to dumb stuff down anymore.

[@justanokapi]

"like" count 9000+

[@Maria-lq4wn]

Can you check mu essay!?

[@tigerwinter]

G

[@subsnovideos8039]

Omg, I already applied to a selective college with an essay about my curiosity in biology. 😂😂😂😂

[@stinhuffine4422]

Did you get in?

[@jeremydavis5661]

suzy z ??

[@samarth.patel21]

Get in ?

[@patrickcrawford6392]

I am 27....

[@FernandoRodriguez-ge2tg]

Patrick Remi that’s hilarious

[@patrickcrawford6392]

I guess so...she assumed all people needing to write a college application essay was a teenager! WRONG.

[@prabhleenreen3594]

lmaooooooooooo

[@jeremydavis5661]

Patrick Remi hi Patrick how you doing

[@4_free73]

Is it bad to sound passionate on a college essay???

[@clinealle]

Andrew Casterella I Don’t Believe Soo I Think She Was Just Saying To Not Be Too Passionate To The Point There’s No Connection Or That You’re Not Relatable.

[@wojak6793]

@@clinealle Don’t capitalize every word lol

[@xyzw10]

So it is ok if I say that I want to become a filmmaker, because I want to prove the sick masses that you can be succesful as an artist, right?

[@viveklall698]

HiiKevin

[@fatimasaleh4542]

She's so friendly!!

[@kaiyabou]

When I was 16( and now at 17) my grandfather passed away and I never was able to get close to him because he hated my father, I also found out my father had a wife before my mother, my doctor told me I have indefinite vertigo(after going to the hospital 2 times after I passed out), I tried coming out to my family as bi but we're very conservative so doing that would ruin my life, two of my friends committed suicide, I got sexually harassed, had 3 panic attacks, found out a guy I liked (and who knew I like him) has had a gf for the past 3 years (and now she's in college),and I got a 58 on an essay which now made me get a C in English for one quarter. The literal only thing that was able to help me through it was music, my best friend, and writing online novels (aka the internet). Having a place to unleash my feelings and relieving myself in film and the melody of music really gave me the reason to keep going on. so...is that melodramatic?

[@ansleyzigzag]

Yes.

[@jehovahsthickness6086]

Very

[@viveklall698]

Foodmirnung

[@betseatkibret8658]

Can you please read my college essay? Please

[@anthonyliddie2222]

betseat kibret I’ll read it if you would like

[@saadboudad8578]

I can read it if you want

[@Latif.Kakule]

Ngl these essays made cringe😂😂

[@user-kh7ef4ho4d]

Self-aggrandizing :/

[@user-kh7ef4ho4d]

Exaggerated

[@user-kh7ef4ho4d]

Overdramatic

[@user-kh7ef4ho4d]

Reasonable, likable

[@mimharahman3742]

You are kinda funny.. :)