30-50 Feral Monkeys On The Loose - Weekly Weird News

[@Tortilla.Reform]

A 20 Monkey margin of error is wild

[@alaneahawkins4833]

At my job that margin of error would get me fired a best 😂

[@spraynardkruger6426]

It's exponential because ape together strong I'm sorry

[@Tortilla.Reform]

@ hahah, If you’re a police officer it gets you a paid vacation

[@pandamandimax]

That is insane. You think you could take a count and see exactly how many are missing within a maximum of 1 hr. Unless they don't keep records and just have random monkeys running around

[@Americanbadashh]

Well they are wild animals. You're not wrong.

[@Intelligence_Failure]

"we're not going back" - 30 to 50 monkeys, 2024

[@somethingclever4563]

Lmao

[@OscarHernandez-sf6kq]

​@@somethingclever456317:24

[@chrisbuttonshaw2088]

Apes. Strong. Together.

[@BearanormalPodcast]

Get out 😂

[@Intelligence_Failure]

@@BearanormalPodcast speaking of which, I haven't seen any libs crying about leaving america yet. are they?

[@mttylerdurden9]

Monkeys escaping from a research facility with a shady name? THIS IS LITERALLY HOW 28 DAYS LATER STARTED!!!!!!

[@FionaOfMountLawley]

Also Outbreak. Or maybe it was a smuggled capuchin destined for the pet trade. I forget.

[@JRDShamrock]

and the simian flu from Planet of the Apes

[@donelltarver7371]

Let the Zombie Apocalypse begin!!! 😂😂

[@DescartesStrollsIntoAPub]

This is how planet of the apes began.

[@Cristodeterror]

Thank God we're not british 💀

[@robinette64]

“Please keep your doors and windows secured. We obviously didn’t follow our own instructions.”

[@Intelligence_Failure]

@@robinette64 "do as we say, not as we do" - leaky biolab

[@shadows1192]

If this week taught me anything, it is that we might as well reject humanity and return to Monke.

[@b00nz0r]

@@shadows1192 the more educated you get the more you come to this conclusion. Technology is nice, but we created modern slavery to have it advanced as it is.

[@meganvincent5381]

Mmmmm, monke

[@kylelockhart3122]

@@meganvincent5381 "oo oo... ah ah ah.... 😔" - Monke: 1BC - 2024 AD

[@nat9909]

Our brains have shrunk by at least 10-13% in the last several thousand years. It would appear that we are on our way 😮

[@DavidAndersonKirk]

Yooo! Was up GTAG fam!!

[@fathomtuns7127]

the vibes of every single news show and podcast I've watched for the past week could be best described as "classroom the week after a student died in a DUI".

[@ctravis91]

Wow, very accurate observation!

[@lukeroswold5557]

Damn lol

[@DarthP00P00]

I experienced that in high school... Except the kid that died bullied me so I was the only one in the room with a massive shit eating grin.

[@novalinnhe]

​@@DarthP00P00Well damn

[@Deloreon]

FACTS!

[@glitchedoom]

Ape Escape becoming real wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but it's a lot funnier than the other spaces that have been filled in.

[@magicpigfpv6989]

Monkeys are not apes… you shouldn’t buy trump brand games.

[@technodrone313]

florida has multiple wild packs of monkeys running around. look up "herpes monkeys"

[@Inquietuss]

"Grabs net"

[@chakuraxo]

Dunkey did it again.

[@chrisbuttonshaw2088]

Good thing I recently went nostalgic and played it. LETS GO!!!

[@spychechaos4895]

Literally the only news media outlet I haven’t unsubscribed from

[@PeachysMom]

IKR?

[@MarcillaSmith]

Do you follow RM Brown?

[@MitchMcConnellsTurtleShell]

@@MarcillaSmithDAD!

[@liesalllies]

WHO? ​never heard of him I SAID never heard of him.

[@fernandoflores6136]

I almost did a few times. These guys are hilarious, but God dam if I can't stand their liberal bitching sometimes.

[@salnoto2322]

I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER! Remember the CLIT is a tiny offshoot of the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes (LABIA) movement

[@RealBradMiller]

You're my little boobookittyf*ck.

[@FailingUpwardz]

Whenever you see CLIT you'll see this face!

[@taylorslade961]

Shit, I needed this laugh. 😂😂 thanks

[@jamesthedog7783]

​@@taylorslade961right on! 😂

[@novalinnhe]

What??? 😂😂

[@thatchick1205]

This is what I need. I have been avoiding most forms of social media the last few days. I have never cried over a president before but I did Wednesday. I need some escape because if not, I might go insane.

[@sinsgalore5146]

COVID 2: Electric Boogaloo, Revenge of the Monkeys!

[@RealBradMiller]

This summer!!! This summer!!!!! This summer!!!?!??

[@mattyholt2012]

Revenge of the flying doo doo . I will escort myself out now

[@geneobrien8907]

Maybe not closing the door to the Alpha Genesis facility wasn't an accident? Check to see if one of the monkeys is named Cesar!

[@jordancuplinger2671]

“You’re in Trump Country Monkey” bro you can’t say that lmaooooo

[@brendynv.2328]

Literally thought the same thing when he said it 😂

[@BobertNo-m5m]

Internet today out of context

[@TheArtofKAS]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Dylanquinn666]

I love how when Michael Cohen shakes his head in disappointment, the Elvis hair jiggles. You can't write comedy that good.

[@thexmacx812]

This is exactly how 28 days later starting bruuuuhjh😂😂😂😂

[@Nick-cs4oc]

Nah, the universe isn’t that just. That’ll happen once the rich get their space yachts and are in the clear

[@j1995martinez]

Lmao fr

[@oliverschultz4943]

Michael Cohen getting pranked with the turkey and other filters was BEAUTIFUL - made my day, so I thank you whoever did that!

[@JonathanShidler]

Bad week, bad year. My brother in law caught da cancer, niece got the lymphoma, my father in law was in a coma earlier this year, and my best friend, my dad, died less than two months ago, and a lil' genocide we are funding .... A year where the horrors persist. But So Do We ✊🏾 Really have been appreciative of the consistent joy of your work does.

[@pandamandimax]

Very sorry to hear that man. At least your dad didn't have to see a fascist get re-elected. maybe for him we were on the way to having a competent president

[@LotusDecal]

@@pandamandimax dude no, no no no this is not how empathy works, this is not how empathy works at all. Good lord.

[@PeachysMom]

I’m sorry to hear that you and your family has gone through all that. It really has been a bad time.

[@adamemmrich283]

Sorry to hear that. I know this can be a tough time of year as well. I know it has been for me. I'll be saying extra prayers for you and your family. Hang in there 💪🏼. ❤

[@jamesthedog7783]

Damn dude, peace

[@AustralianMurderTurtle]

Monkeys breaking free? sounds like the Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers, or CLIT for short.

[@daemon4621]

Okay that got me

[@torib93]

🔥🔥🔥

[@ElijahRhyne]

But who is their commander?

[@likecrazyhorse]

Working together with the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement

[@AustralianMurderTurtle]

@@ElijahRhyne we all know who their commander is, the CLIT commander.

[@spychechaos4895]

Finally some news I can use; I’ve been on a news media blackout all week

[@coasterblocks3420]

To be fair the News Media has been on a news media blackout for years.

[@LucciClubStudios]

Lord friza would not be happy about those monkeys being out

[@jusme3534]

I didn’t expect planet of the apes plot on the 2024 bingo card

[@mypal1990]

A nice palate cleanser after this week. Thanks for the upload boys!

[@mrsladyoj]

12 monkeys is looking like a prophecy at this point.

[@thebarkcrystal]

i came here to say this. also the # of monkeys increased due to inflation!

[@lisasteel6817]

Trumps tariffs.

[@nilsk3656]

Maybe the monkeys' bites turn stupid people into intelligent and aware human beings.

[@RealBradMiller]

😮😮😮 with empathy, even!!!

[@Szriko]

That'd be nice, then we'd have even more republicans to help save America!!

[@fatalshore5068]

Omg what a premise lol. Someone hire this man

[@cattibingo]

RFK Jr was going to go find them immediately, but he already had breakfast

[@Confucius_Says...]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@NJ-wb1cz]

His car was too full of whale parts

[@brendynv.2328]

They weren't dead yet, so he passed

[@Eeloxis]

Comment for engagement. I'm so engaged right now. Thanks IT for all the hard work.

[@nikyredgm]

Reply for engagement🎉

[@Vanillapixie13]

@@nikyredgmanother reply for engagement

[@NJ-wb1cz]

Are we all getting engaged here? Dibs on the person with big bucks

[@chippistachio5397]

Engaging so hard rn

[@fataldeath831]

They make my mornings.

[@rlobbest]

“How else am I gonna take care of the 30-50 wild monkeys that come into my yard when my children are playing?!”

[@EroticInferno]

They come in 3-5 minutes!! Who will think about my young children???

[@b00nz0r]

@@rlobbest *guy that bought a typewriter factory

[@morganharrison6139]

36:00 hey postal carrier here. You are 100 percent right about the postal carrier situation. Our office workers in the back don't have to wear the uniform. I'm a city carrier, and we are required to after our 90 intro period to have a uniform

[@Jetfox967]

Imagine if the monkeys teamed up with the feral hogs.

[@CatFish107]

Orca pod squad checking in

[@DarthP00P00]

Monkeys riding hogs! We're doomed!

[@NJ-wb1cz]

I bet they can ride the hogs into battle

[@UlshaRS]

It's no monkey on the lam(b) but it will do

[@justinlafser916]

Riding the hogs like goblins.

[@tacojoe7996]

More tacos for the taco God, more burritos for the burrito throne

[@Welsh7133]

For Mexican street Khorne!

[@RenMomoDotPog]

Hell yeah, warhams reference

[@frameandi]

Simone

[@UnstableEquilibrium]

Khorne cares not from whence the hot sauce flows, only that it flows.

[@ronoc9]

30-50 veral Monkeys: Who are you! 30-50 veral hogs, stepping out from the shadows: I'm putting together a team with the killer orcas and cocaine bears. You in?

[@Confucius_Says...]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@puncheonandmauby1]

"You sonofabeech.... I'm in"

[@donovan5656]

Sonova bitch, I’m in! 👉🏾

[@huhneat8908]

Monkey time

[@RustyVenture98]

Monkey time

[@Selfinflictedhummusrocket]

That's actually an accurate name for what happened with the "religion of peace" in Amsterdam

[@MrAmadeus1998]

Can we please stop monkeying around?

[@nikkipoop]

Are we ready to go ape?

[@trvpyn]

I think we've proven it's their turn. 😅

[@BarrVason]

Thanks for avoiding politics I’m still PTSD’d from Tuesday.

[@TheWizKid95]

I for one welcome our future ape overlords

[@bluester7177]

Aren't we our own ape overlords? Like all of the rich people? We are one of the 12 hominidae ape subspecies.

[@kylelockhart3122]

@@bluester7177 sadly weve evolved our way out of apedom. a true shame. oh but to be monkey again...

[@Sauvva_]

@@bluester7177 we dont welcome the current ape overlords

[@five12man]

Grooming ftw, the good kind

[@PeachysMom]

@@bluester7177you’re right! Apes together strong.

[@osiris460131]

Thanks for this lighter episode. We all needed this after such a horrible week.

[@johnn9125]

I haven’t had the heart to watch the last two episodes, but I’ll always tune into WWN.

[@Ok_Thanks]

Same. Can’t bear to see the fellas bummed out along with me. They’re good dudes.

[@johnn9125]

@ Love these lads.

[@laurettelaliberte8864]

Glad it’s not just me. I’ve avoided every news channel and podcast I normally listen to/watch.

[@JRDShamrock]

@@laurettelaliberte8864 oh trust me I did tune in, and everyone is just as bumped out

[@juanmacias5922]

It's a hard time, virtual hugs for all, and I hope for the best for you all.

[@Gungybung]

"You're in Trump country, monkey." Hits different if a Republican says it with a southern accent.

[@donelltarver7371]

So true 😂😂😂

[@Xxxx2319alpha]

That has been said much more than once.

[@PostingCringeOnMain]

"try that in a small town, monkey" :|

[@Szriko]

I don't see a difference. The south has way more than 30-50. Though I guess those ones get caught by traps a lot easier!! LOL

[@cattibingo]

​@@Xxxx2319alphaper day, per hour probably

[@pjsw]

Been sick for a week Internet today always makes me feel better thanks boys

[@Blade658]

What if they team up with the wild hogs

[@langleymneely]

Can I runaway with the monkeys!? Maybe together we can get to Canada? Just lie and say the monkeys are my extended family! Lol

[@LordessCass]

Not surprised that people got weirdly suspicious with the postman dropping off ballots. I worked as an election judge for this election and a new voter had to vote provisionally because her address didn't match up. Her dad harangued one of the election judges saying "I don't like it, that's more hands on her ballot." The suspicion around elections has gotten absurd.

[@georgiagarfield9176]

The Shinzo’s divine intervention part gave me a really needed lol moment this week

[@drog343]

Isn't this just how 28 Days Later starts, rage zombies it is, I guess.

[@RealBradMiller]

It's fine, it'll be gone by Halloween, like a miracle. Sir, Halloween was last week...

[@jennyanydots2389]

Good thing that was a movie

[@tolazytothinkofauser]

Ill take zombies over this elections

[@ak-ub1ym]

Huh isn't it normal 'merica at this point , even without the rage virus. Half of this country already acts like brainded-rage rabid zombies on human rights issue so 🤷

[@BohemianFish]

Whenever Eliot refuses to apologise for delivering the news, i get goosebumps.

[@TheMerlotLine]

"The 43 primates broke loose from an Alpha Genesis facility in Beaufort County..." sounds so much like a news report from a movie. edit: I swear, I typed this before Ricky said it! 😆

[@Cunpushus]

Caesar said NOOOOOO

[@raheemali8827]

8:00 I heard that same phrase, just in 2016

[@vRoOmZoOmDoOmBOOM]

lol in a different context than escaping monkeys I bet.

[@dillonqaphsiel7977]

Bruh

[@OffWhiteDaz]

I laughed so hard remembering high school parties when you guys mentioned upper decking. In Australia we call it a top deck. There is a chocolate bar here called top deck that is white chocolate on top and brown on the bottom. Kinda what the toilet looks like afterwards 😂

[@StargazingDragon]

I love it when I stumble on a fresh Internet Today video

[@DoctaFingas]

Has anyone come forward to claim responsibility for the monkey escape? I've heard it might be the Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerary Treedwellers.

[@noahkarpinski1824]

For anyone who doesn't know: the Coalition is a tiny offshoot of the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes mother organization

[@NJ-wb1cz]

​@@noahkarpinski1824haha, that spells VAGINA

[@petestoutenburgh1412]

Needed this! Thanks guys!

[@crabbyphysics3000]

The way you guys always use the numbers "30-50" is always so funny 😂

[@jerodmattson2084]

Guys thank you every single day that you do this work for us.

[@boogooglysilversmith8009]

Well it is interesting that GA announced they would need a month to count ballads by hand, and yet fixed over night, and trump received the exact number of votes from the last run.

[@DarthP00P00]

He got less votes then last time and still won.

[@jesseyahiaoui395]

Michael Cohen getting annoyed at the filters on the Tik Tok Live was fucking hilarious

[@bobsawey]

omg all you had to say was Vitican + Anime to draw my attention back in with a face of utter horror knowing what would follow

[@Malloy...]

Keep this up never stop only news that's true and trustworthy. You two are the best !!! 🎉

[@Hyacin]

The monkey escape was definitely not on my bingo card of possible movie apocalypses of happening.

[@VecheslavNovikov]

Planet of the Apes is a well established franchise. That's on you.

[@Kink_Shaman]

The monkeys were infected with rage.

[@bluester7177]

That would be the literal headline in portuguese if they had rabies, the common name for it is "raiva" which translates to rage.

[@VecheslavNovikov]

At least it's not FEV

[@icecreamget]

My buddy showed me the Luce character yesterday, and my first thought was "that's Coraline." Dowsing rod and rainboots included

[@yudithcaron8053]

That's the Vatican fault. They wanted to create Luke and they created Lucia instead.

[@TheDiabeticGameMaster]

I literally stopped watching a movie to check this out when I got the notification. As a Florida man this news seems like something I should be aware of as it is likely local and I am likely in danger, lol.

[@JakeLProductions]

“You’re in trump country monkey” is going to be taken out of context😂😂😂😂😂

[@rickdaniel7341]

Luce: the newest embodiment of “think more than not at all”

[@VecheslavNovikov]

Maybe they were trying to take the focus off the sexy nun trope?

[@FerniWrites]

I don’t comment much but just wanted to say thanks for being a sense of levity after this week. I’m Canadian but we’re definitely going to experience the ripple effects. God speed, boys. Y’all are rockstars and deserve your rise!

[@phoenixgirl70]

Well that Trump loving wanna be Polliviere or however you spell it, the MP from Alberta is putting out feelers if he can beat Trudeau. Now I know he hasn’t been perfect but my god he’s better than another Fascist winning because people don’t pay attention to what he wants to do, which is Trump 2.0 and we cannot let that happen. Food prices, housing prices, gas prices are high all over the world. It’s not Trudeau’s fault just like it wasn’t Bidens. We can’t go off fake promises that Trump made. We’re already going to be hurting because of Trump. I’m not giving up my freedom or anyone else’s especially a conspiracy theorist who’s convinced a lot of numb nuts in Alberta. Canada is Canada, we are progressive and can’t bend to fascism. I feel so bad for the Americans that actually voted for Harris who knew what Trump wants to do to the USA and many of their citizens. I feel physically sick thinking about it. Much love to you and your family. We’re going to have to fight too. Because they’ll lie about his beliefs just like they did with Trump.

[@ArcadiaLynn]

Shinzo Abe’s ghost saving Trump is a story that really made me laugh 🤣 because you know there are people who actually believe that🤣

[@juanmacias5922]

Escaped monkeys, ah, so this is how the zombie virus spreads?

[@Ok_Thanks]

Good morning IT fam. Sending love today. Hope y’all have a great weekend ❤

[@bradybirdy9243]

Yay silly monk to distract me from all this dread!! Thx big bros

[@TheBrokenJester]

Hearing Ricky explain an upper decker felt as if it was the voice inside my head talking. Ahh memories

[@GlutenEruption]

😭🤣. Omg, I died. Lmfao

[@NiallByrne]

As an Irish person, I hope our government cracks down on AI and regulates it so it doesn’t pop up at the top of search engines. This misinformation has potential to cause panic, confusion.

[@matthill5426]

THANK YOU for a return to thumbnails I can look at! Couldn't even watch the last two, I was so furious just from seeing them. Please, sincerely, from a fan, don't do that to us again! PS, started listening to Western Kabuki from you guys! They're fun, thanks!

[@OayzHozey]

Thank you for the show fellas!!

[@brianoneill6600]

I hate to do anything that defends Trump, but they did release a commercial for him saying to support the legalization of Marijuana here in Florida. But yes the Republicans have always been the major roadblock to it actually happening.

[@PeachysMom]

The Trump campaign strategy was obviously to promise everything to everyone with no plan or intent to fulfill any promises. So many suckers out there.

[@nerfherder4284]

Biden was actually very anti-legalization until very recently. They have all mostly been against it. It's been legal in Washington state for 12 years! Isn't that crazy? Imagine the tax revenue.... ....just looked: 15+ Billion in sales, with over 5.5 Billion in tax revenue. Multiply that by 50.....

[@wildmooseking]

12:46 I've become a professional at understanding how ChatGPT writes: -Endless descriptors -Overly flowery language -No mentions of specific events -No mentions of specific times for specific events -No actual photography -No lines regarding restrictions or rules Once you spot those hallmarks, it's easy to spot fake events.

[@Mikes_NotSane]

I like the idea of Ricky doing a full Boston accent yelling at a Raccoon hey f*ck you! and giving him the finger

[@VanAlexi]

Thanks for remaining on the frontlines lads.

[@Benfrmbennett1]

Thanks for the upload gentleman. Always the highlight of my day.

[@TheHunterofWarriors]

You guys are hilarious. I always expect a little monkey business from you guys

[@seanstump8665]

Damn. I didn't realize Eliot's Tucker voice was so good😂 30:39

[@aerotube7291]

We have an ad on our feed for a pet retreat service which talks about "fun and treats for doggy "with a photo of a man and woman looking off a hotel balcony lol

[@Bob-b7x6v]

David Mammot was wrong, it's 43 Monkeys, not 12...

[@NeoXandercrossfade]

I worked for the usps for a short time and unless your specific post office has hand me downs, you do not get the offical uniform until your probationary period is done with and even then your stipend does not cover everything you need. The requirements are also different between rural and city carriers. Surprising no one, it isn't a very well run machine.

[@christianfox7431]

Wooooah! Beaufort finally made it into the IT hall of fame!! Those monkeys got loose from what we call the monkey farm locally. I know people who work there.

[@erinauter8939]

Michael Cohen is part of Meidastouch Network, they're almost at 3.5 million subscribers

[@Sue-r3n]

I haven't watched him on there but that is another good media source as well. I also really like Reese Waters.

[@DarthP00P00]

I haven't watched them in a bit. Their video titles are kinda over the top and kinda click-bait-y... Also haven't had the stomach to watch them post election. Usually they upload every like 60mins it seems but after election night they didn't post for like a day. I could smell the depression in the air.

[@Tortilla.Reform]

@4:25. Made me laugh hahah, a stainless steel Orb is objectively a worse thing to be injected with than any size needle

[@daveroche6522]

Gotta say - that Cohen bit was skinpeelingly HILARIOUS!

[@NanNaN-jw6hl]

@41:10 -- Ricky laughing while Eliot states, "just the mouth, no venom" -- except it'd be a mouth to ass bite from a python. Yeesh. 😅

[@wrendavey]

Michael Kohen blocking the emote gifts on TikTok is better than any SNL skit 😂

[@garnetski]

you guys sure you're good, pretty sure that first story is the plot of a dozen zombie movies

[@mowglinhazel8731]

A Planet of The Apes/ 28 Days Later situation might be the preferable alternative at this point.

[@JMM33RanMA]

I just heard a strange solution to the homeless problem. There is a rumor that an old, decommissioned Massachusetts prison has been repurposed as housing for the homeless. I can't confirm that this is true, but if so it's genius. Provided that food and heat are provided, it is cheaper than putting them in motels and other places that primarily benefit slumlords. OTOH, if done without humane steps it could be post-apocalyptic horror.

[@ElCheekyTaco]

I don't know what I'd do without this show.

[@luisfelipe9765]

what a nice episode for international viewers, with little US politics and no elon xD

[@DarthP00P00]

"EELON!"

[@prem007s]

Thanks!

[@dezih.2955]

Thank you guys for the much needed laughs ❤

[@sirwobble265]

Let it be known to all that Luce is for positive and wholesome activities only. Cute things are for brightening your day.

[@mattday2656]

I'm definitely pro monkey, there is kind of a feminist bent too. I dig it.

[@semibrad]

38:15 elders driving cars when they should not be driving is actually a huge problem in this country

[@mosesgunn6937]

Comment for the Comment God! Engagement for the Engagement Throne!

[@TheBokdol]

you are the one thing that keeps me sane.