31. Long Distance Breakups

[@karenzhang1020]

I am literally crying like a kid as soon as I start listening to this. 😭 We dated for a short period of time and he suddenly decided he couldn’t do it anymore. It’s been a little over a month now and I thought I should be over it. But I am not! Anyways, you and DG are absolutely the best. Both of you are so insightful and realistic. Other people even suggest to visit your ex in his/her city after break up, and/or tell them you will move for them. Are you freaking kidding me? You gonna follow them and chase them after they dumped you?

[@joserubio8352]

Any update?

[@Laaalt]

Hey what happened after ?

[@xHappzx]

After the break up, I was reaching out to him constantly for answers. Got the "it's not you its me" speech about how he isnt ready for a relationship (after heavily pursuing me for 6 months) and "lost feelings" for me despite me doing nothing wrong. Everything was good from my standpoint, this really took me by surprise. He had told me recently he had started therapy and it wasnt helping and made him realize he shouldn't be with anyone. I was encouraging and patient with him as I truly care for him. I stopped reaching out for 2 weeks, and nothing from him. Started reaching out again but clearly it's a mistake because hes just not receptive. I've stopped talking to him again but I doubt he will reach out. I am just saddened by all this mostly by the fact he seems not to care or miss me one bit.

[@rudigerkerz7981]

same thing here. any updates?

[@elissar3580]

he said stuff like 'it's not you it's me' as well... now im there hearbroken and it is NC day 18...

[@TheCoffeeCat]

Dismissive avoidant ex, sounds like.

[@lisat8147]

Just want to say thank you for this Rory, you give relationship advice with no sugar coating, that’s the best way. it’s given me clarity about my long distance breakup. Through working on myself and dissecting how, when, why we broke up, I’ve realise it’s because of validation, I didn’t make him feel validated, We both felt lonely in the relationship due to the distant and the repercussions meant we disconnected and the relationship felt flat. I realise my error and if my ex does reach out to me, then I know how to make the relationship work. Thank you Rory. Can’t wait to listen to your next audio. ✌🏻

[@exo.1414]

Did he contact you?

[@RoselySS95]

You are truly a blessing to humanity, Rory. Thank you so much for helping our little world of broken hearts. I wish this was around last summer, man did I need you! I was in a long distance military relationship. We were dating for 3.5 yrs total, engaged for 9 months, long distance for 2.5 yrs of our relationship. When he broke off our engagement last April, we were already planning on moving in together. Of course he didn't want to anymore but I begged and pleaded to not break up (BIG NO-NO, I now know) and basically forced him to let me move in anyway to work on our relationship. It was the most miserable summer ever. I pushed him further away. It's been 7 months since I moved out and have been NC. I am much better now, I moved passed everything, but I don't think I'll ever move on from him. Can you possibly do a video on what to do if you didn't go no contact right away? I basically did all the things you're not suppose to do after a break up for 4 months straight (I seriously could not let go), before finally going NC for, so far, 7 months. I feel like even though I've moved past it, I'll always wish he would come back even after doing every breakup mistake.

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you! I'll look into that topic for a future video!

[@RoselySS95]

The Love Chat Thanks Rory! Keep up the good work!

[@brianhill6842]

Rosely Sisa I feel ya! I’ve just stumbled on Rory and wish someone in my younger years told me about the importance of No Contact. I’m gay and the guy I was seeing was long distance. When we first began talking via Facebook, he was constantly telling me he’s falling for me, could I see there being a him and I, could I see myself living in Texas...months later, at eight months on my last visit there I asked “so what are we exactly” ..just a check in about how to progress forward...what I received was a lecture. “Why do you have to label it? I know what you want me to say. You want me to say yes we are boyfriends and I’m not going to do that.” Even though the next morning he reassured me to plan more visits as he took me to the airport, the doubt started to set in. Once I was home he told me the shirt I had of his. “I wanted you to have something that was mine. And yes, I said let’s plan another visit.” But each time I asked I got more excuses about working. What used to be “I can’t go a day without talking to you” became “we don’t need to talk everyday.” It all got very confusing. The mixed messages. Anyway, he ended it because I over texted when plans changed one evening. I just asked how his day was. He told me he was spending his day with a female friend and I just thought by 9pm it was ok to ask. I got a “plans changed.” I asked oh I thought you were spending the day with (name).” He replied “I didn’t know it mattered when.” It was the short curt nature that just kind of threw me. Anyway he called me yelling that I had over texted and he hung up on me. That was apparently it. It was done. I have spent the last month reaching out and he just got more aggressive. Never an apology. Never a mature discussion. Never really even a rational one. Anyway, I’m glad to have found Rory and hope to at least learn from all this. Of course I would love it if this guy’s heart can soften enough to simply acknowledge that there were many other ways to handle this. Thanks Rory and thanks Rosely.

[@airarose6248]

The Love Chat Hey Rory! Thank you so much for the video! Do you think if I never directly said for to my ex to get in contact with me if he changed his mind then he won’t do that? See when he ended things with me (a year & a half relationship, 3 months long distance in different countries - he’s 24 & I 26) it was because his career required him to stay where he was and he got cold feet and wasn’t ready for me to move there. He had originally asked for space and time to figure things out which I gave him but then after a while I knew I needed a timeline and couldn’t be left waiting, the not knowing where we stood was probably worse than hearing the truth. I got to see him in person for our final conversation and when he told me he wasn’t sure how long that space and time might be, it could take weeks, months, or years for him to be ready but that he didn’t want to date anyone else and still saw a future with me, I knew I couldn’t just hang around and be his friend or take on a different role in his life. I loved him too much and that wouldn’t be right or honest. So I said this had to be goodbye for me, and removed him from my social media (though he still follows me). He didn’t really accept that, said he didn’t want it to be hard to communicate and asked me to unfollow and not unfriend him (though I explained why I had to do the latter and he understood), but we did end on good terms and he told me to take the space and time I needed apart from him to heal and then reach back out when I am ready. So I guess I’m just wondering if in my instance no contact will still be effective? It has been almost three months now. Is he always going to wait for me to contact him because he wants to respect that space even if he does change his mind? He told me that’s why he didn’t before when we had our initial period of no contact. And if the only way for him to really contact me is through an awkward message request on FB, will someone do that? There is a risk I won’t even see it. I regret unfriending him, but in some ways I know it has really helped resist seeing what is going on in his life, which is good and healthier for me. And seeing him active on messenger had been really hard for me, so unfollowing wasn’t enough. I hope I made the right decision, but I can’t just suddenly friend request him back or I would risk breaking the NC. 😕 Thanks for your time and sorry for the long message! You don’t have to respond to all just the original question has been plaguing me for a while!

[@simonray1066]

Brian Hill hi Brian I can feel u pain and I’m facing the same situation right with a guy i dated for 1year 6months and everything was so good that we started taking about me moving over even though i was the one who was mostly talking about it and he often looked for excuses and me wanting to be with me, kinda thought i should talk about the issue more of us being together but it seem it was pushing him away. After our last meeting, everything was so good and when he return home, he started acting funny and distance. Well I thought it was just work and normal life issues but everything kept changing not until after his graduation, he broke up with me that he preferred having someone closer than being in distance. I think u should just let him be thou it’s hard and if he really loves and want to be with u, he will come back for u.but for now give him enough space and give him the break that he wants. All will be ok bro 💪🏼💪🏼🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@paulstanley88]

Even if two people make plans to meet up it doesn't matter because that could change in a second.

[@Полина2525]

So true.today i love u,tomorrow-break up

[@GFH99]

This is by far, the best vid i've heard rory. Love you for doing this.

[@GFH99]

Thanks for the like rory! Just to share, i met my ex on tinder. And we got to know each other for 10 days before we called it quit.. Not really sure we were even an item, but im definitely sure he liked me too. From my end, i already told him that i really like him.. But i understand why he doesnt want to be official yet because he's still broken and healing from 11 yrs relationship. And he always said he wants to be friends with me after we called it quit. At first, i said im ok with being just friends but im not sure if i can handle it later. Then he texted me when i went no contact (just after 1 day) .. He said he felt weird not hearing from me, he often wonder why we didnt work out, but when i asked him out, he just dont want to do it yet.. I dont really get him. To be honest, eventhough we havent met, i know that i really like the guy.. So i cried, and mourn, you know the drill.. Like as if i've known him for 10 years.. Lol. Then he kept breadcrumbing me.. One time he texted me, the next thing i know he just left me hanging. Not continuing the text.. So i went to send one last text to him and said, "this could be my last text to you, i made up my mind, that i CANT and DONT wanna be your friend because i still cant stop thinking about you, and i really2 like you as a person. Next time you text me, we HAVE to go out on a date. If you're down with it, just call me, or i'll just leave this text here, unreplied." then he never replied.. Lol.. I was a little dissapointed but i still believe hes a good guy who's afraid to be broken again. So i kept listening to Love Chat and Dating Guy, you guys are the best, and i do believe in Self improvement is the best way to go.. So i signed up for MMA Class, the thing that i have been wanting to do all this time but my lazy ass wont allow it. I think sometimes, breakup is necessary for growth.. You grow through struggles.. And this ought to be the best one for me. I dont know if it makes sense lol. Thanks rory. Please dont get bored helping broken people like us. We need you. Keep making this vids ok. Love you.

[@GFH99]

I thought it was a wrong move to send that last text, but then came your vid. Lol..

[@kungfukenny1540]

@@GFH99 update

[@GFH99]

@@kungfukenny1540 i know he still thinks about me till today since he viewed ALL my stories and one time i said to him "thanks for viewing my stories. Making me less lonely" he said he wanted to ask me hows things but didnt want to ruin my day. So we talked abit. But he didnt show any signs of reconciliation. But im good about that now since we have different thoughts on religious belief which i can tolerate but he cant. I'm good now😊

[@prodbyjustmean831]

Breakup during lockdown...

[@TheKG636]

Yep

[@ethanportillo9264]

Same

[@elissar3580]

same..

[@AnhHoang-mp6ib]

Yep, 5 beautiful years of living together and after 3 months long distance, and he broke up with me.

[@nicolewinston135]

Painful 😖

[@JohnDL212]

Thank you. I just suffered a loss of a 2 year relationship with someone in Brazil. We meet for a 5 day vacation a year ago this month and had been in contact continuously for 6 months before. We had many plans that included seeing each other several times more. Then COVID hit and flying from the US to Brazil was impossible. Now, as far as of now, it's over. I am struggling very hard.

[@gr1520]

Same situation..because of the stupid Covid. Just broke up after 2 and half years of relationship (1 and half year was LDR period) So sad....I live in east asia and he lives in western europe..

[@ShadoWolfSigma]

We were in a ldr for 3 years. Near the end she began to feel distant. I thought it was because of the chaos of covid-19. Called her on her birthday. She didn't answer. Messaged me later to just give me a very dry thanks for remembering. That's when I really felt something was definitely wrong. I managed to get the truth out of her. She had met someone else and they had been going out for a month. Completely destroyed me. She said she was hoping the being distant would be enough to make me lose interest in her, because she didn't know how or if she should tell me the truth. She wanted to stay friends so that she could make sure I would be fine. I said no. It's been 2 months since the breakup, and 1 month since the last I heard of her. She sent me message telling me how she felt horrible for hurting me because I was amazing and deserved so much better, how she felt karma would catch up to her one day. I just told her to no longer worry about me and to not think like that. Then I deleted all the conversations, her contact numbers, and WhatsApp. I've been trying to move on. Been working out, drawing, reading, looking for help videos on KZbin, but it still hurts. Distance and betrayal are a hell of a knife to get stabbed through the heart with. I only hope the day I stop counting the days gets here.

[@gilbertom8436]

Any update on your situation?

[@ShadoWolfSigma]

@@gilbertom8436 Well I've been feeling a lot better, working on myself, learning new things. I wouldn't say I'm completely over her, but I'm in a much healthier place. It has been over 2 months I think (it's a nice feeling not knowing the exact number anymore hahaha) since I last heard of her, and I honestly believe I'll be fine if she never reaches out again. All the learning about relationships I've done has helped me understand that she is dealing with her own personal problems and insecurities, and those are hers to deal with. The important person in my life right now is me.

[@kewl800i]

@@ShadoWolfSigma how about now bro? You have a new GF?

[@ShadoWolfSigma]

@@kewl800i I do :) I honestly didn't believe all that I heard when I was hurting. You'll be ok. You'll find somebody better. All that stuff sounded fake. But I kept working on myself, and I did find someone amazing someone that I actually feel is better for me than my ex. Plus I have the experience of the failed relationship to be better able to keep this one healthy. Hopefully you are now in a similar situation, but if you're not I want you to know that it does get better. You will find someone better.

[@kungfukenny1540]

@@ShadoWolfSigma did you and your LDEX ever meet in person?

[@martinplaza7904]

Time doesn't heal anything. It just teaches us how to live with the pain.

[@cyndemaegentapa467]

Truly. We Just Learn to live with the Reality, as it is.

[@Lucas-ik1ff]

Time does heal! As long as you’re taking steps in the positive direction and not dwelling on the pain. As hard as that may sound

[@1kmilez]

True. He always says to me that he wants me to be with him physically cause we live in diffrent countries... He broke up with me just yesterday saying stuff like his mother wont allow me marrying him..Thank u for this bcuz, it opened my eyes...

[@dasia7920]

Tbh I prefer Rory's perspective on this instead of DG's (and I admie both!) Because I've experienced this sort of breakup and totally agree that there's more to the separation than ONLY DISTANCE. I can attest to this due to how my ex broke up with me. And I definitely believe that LDR can work if both are mature and work towards bridging the gap - ending the distance.

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@ellem4music156]

Was expecting your videos always. And yes, this video came out at the right place, right time for me.. Keep making videos, you have a good voice which keeps us engaged. And a mutual understanding while you speak. Thank you..

[@ChordsForU]

Myself and my ex had always been long distance. When we met we both lived in the same city but soon she moved to a different city for collage. I worked in my home town all the time we dated while she went to school. 3 years later I decided to go to collage to study and she broke up with me. She had some family stuff going on during the last year of us dating and she gave this as a reason to justify the break up. We agreed to be friends post break up but we started to argue and she ended up blocking me. When we broke up she said she wanted us to start dating again one day when she got over the family stuff but she ended up sleeping with another dude and kissed a few dudes infront of me on a Christmas night out between our friends.

[@anacueva9284]

hi rory, im in ldr and my partner broke up with me a month ago, wen i was in vacation everything seem to be fine with us, and infact we started to level up our almost 3 years relationship and started our dream house infact. but suddenly he went cold and distant 2 months when i came back here in other country for work. and i am carrying our child.i felt like my world was crashed and shuttered. i watched almost all of ur videos and i am on the 11th day of no contact i wanted to gain my self back and i admit that its so painful and hard, but i will strive it, i promise i will gain my self again and i will be the best version of me the best that i can be.

[@topgunner1962]

Update?

[@anilarajaian6520]

Is there anyone like me who has been in a long distance relationship for more than a year and he/she broke with you before u met him in person

[@siangwedding748]

Im

[@kokyukagekiss5933]

He said his mother don't approve our relationship because of cultural differences and he needs to focus taking care of her right now. Sometimes I feel a hope of him coming back but I already know that he will not.

[@johnnycase2905]

Right here bro still hurting

[@cyndemaegentapa467]

Thank you! This is Very Comforting and Reassuring. Love your Channel! Best Advice I Got so Far.

[@Alan_Wigz]

People ALWAYS say "it wasn't just the distance that broke us up," like you have, Rory. As if it's some kind of comforting excuse or convenient deflection from the main issue. My ex said the same thing - "I don't think distance was our only obstacle" (and I knew what she was getting at). Sure, but the distance is totally unnatural, unhealthy, and it ONLY exacerbates all the other obstacles. She said, "you have commitment issues, and have never had a serious girlfriend." Brilliant, and what's the perfect solution to that? - put a guy like me in a 'long distance relationship' with a girl I only see 2-3 times a year, and the only way to end the distance is by me moving to New York and having to get married for immigration purposes. Yea, that'll really help my "commitment" issues. Long Distance is what breaks it off, unless one person is willing to drop their life and MOVE. End of story.

[@Alan_Wigz]

Anonight Wolf Hmmm, sorry Ill have to respectfully disagree. Even in a long distance relationship where you see each other every month, you're still in the same predicament, the same big question is asked. Who is going to move? Whose life is less/more important? Who is closer to their professional goals/ambitions, and doesn't want to disrupt that? Who can get a company transfer? Who is earning more? Who has more savings (to be able the support the other when he/she starts life where you live). What is the immigration process, if you are both different nationalities? The amount of time "seeing each other" is irrelevant. This is the the real world, not a fictional Hollywood romance film starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. Someone is going to have to move. This video fails to reflect on that.

[@Alan_Wigz]

In the real world, love isn't enough. In romance novels, tv shows, and Hollywood movies, for the sake a good fictional story, yes, love is enough. But it's all one big lie that women, and feminised men buy into. In the real world, the harsh, unfair real world, love isn't enough for any relationship, let alone a long distance one. There needs to be compatibility, timing, and circumstances all working in your favour. Just "loving someone" isn't good enough. It's naive, childish thinking that will always lead to inevitable heartbreak. For a long distance relationship to work, it takes 2 very special people. Both parties MUST prioritise the relationship above everything else, and have a plan of action on how and when to end the distance - and yes, some situations are much easier than others, like you've addressed. Both parties will probably not have "goals and dreams" and fulfilment and happiness in their own independent life - and therefore use the long distance relationship as the most important thing in their lives. Someone is going to have to move. Yes, if you are a career freak, its not going to work.

[@Alan_Wigz]

Born in Scotland. Childhood in England. Grew up in California. Spent 2 years in Singapore. I've had 2 "long distance relationships" in my life. I really liked both girls. But they ended....because of the distance. The distance. The distance.

[@ellsiswoyo1696]

Alan W well i think its not only girl that give up about the distannce. in the fact that my ex is did the same. he is break me up because we had too little time to be together even we were very close to be together but he decided to break up its ridiculous

[@adj5767]

Agree Alan. For me long-distance relationships are the most useless of relationships. Why do people bother unless you both completely understand that it's only on paper. Proximity absolutely matters.

[@marcinkowalski2668]

I was talking to this girl from Europe for about 2 months... her level of interest in me was really high and I must say perhaps during the course of the interaction I was a little bit of an ass sometimes because I thought I wasn’t really into her but then suddenly she got cold and gave me the “ I don’t feel anything” I just see you as a friend, I thought there was hope but unfortunately I do not feel anything and I want you to be happy, find a girl even tell me when you find a girl etc etc type of speech... basically just flat out communicate she had no romantic interest in me at all.... that took me through a spiral and I became sooooo hurt and realized how much I liked this girl... for few days after that I would try reaching out even though I would get one word replies, no really lot of engagement and definitely it felt like one sided relationship.. it got even to the point where she straight out told me one day... look, you really need to find a girl for you, I’m just not that girl... that was so hurtful and it truly got me inside my heart but I valued the fact she was being brutally honest with me also...it’s almost been a month since this happened and I started watching coach Corey Wayne and your videos as well as few others and I have tried the no contact rule... by the way, when I tried reasoning with her regarding the reasons behind the rejection she assured me that it had nothing to do with anyone else being in the picture.... she said she had no interest in anyone and that she didn’t need anyone in her life to be happy, etc.... at first I agreed to being friends (mistake I know!) but then when I came across yours and coach Corey Wayne work I realized more things... I tried the no contact for about a week and then when I started noticing she liking my Facebook posts a lot, being literary the first person to watch my stories etc I reached out just to say hello, not begging or trying to get answers nothing.. she seemed excited at first to talk to me and kept asking me how is my life, that I seem happy according to my Facebook posts etc etc... then I went ahead and ask if we could have a video chat that it would be cool to see her to what I got the ummmmm I don’t know I’m kind of busy now type of answer so I said well.. if you change your mind or want to make it happen let me know, to which she responded okay 😇 with that exact emoticon... another week passed and the tendency was the same regarding liking most of my posts and being one of the first people to looking at my Facebook stories etc etc so then I reached out again asking how’s she doing, keeping it short and ,when given the chance ,asking to see her in video chat rather than talking... again I got an answer in the sense of... at the moment I’m kind of busy taking care of my niece so Idk, to what I said ok well I will not bother you so please let me know if you’re not busy sometime and want to make it happen and we can do it, to with she say okaay.... after about almost a week (yesterday) I posted a video in my Facebook page talking in my native language and suddenly I get a Facebook private message saying : “translate the video for me 😀 “ to which I replied... what is the fun in me doing that, why don’t you guess and let me know what you think and I’ll tell you whether you’re right or wrong ... to which she took a guess etc etc... so I told her that she was close to the answer but since it was too much typing I could tell her via video chat that way it would be more fun as well... she said I agree with you but unfortunately I am at my friend house right now (her best friend) so I said, ok well when you’re not too busy let me know and let’s make it happen, deal? To which she said “okaaay 😏” with that emoji that I have no idea what it means.... anyway, I am no going to contact her again and from now on the only form of communication will be when she reaches out... I would love to hear advise in my situation because it is so odd she checks everything I do and even reached out to ask about the video (why would she even care what it means) but at the same time she won’t make an effort to make a video chat date with me.... I must add that even when her level of interest seemed high in the beginning we never really did video chat, it was mostly her blowing up my phone with messages all day and sometimes being upset if I didn’t respond right away... in addition, she said she would meet me in person if I am in her country so I’m sure she would go on a date if I was around where she lives... anyway, I would love any input and your thoughts on my situation... god bless you all

[@ginevratortora2851]

Thank you for this Rory! I guess also cross-cultural breakups could be a topic worth exploring ;)

[@gloryan0624]

Thank you for this video coach rory!! 💖

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@sebm8075]

I came back here for reassurance It helped thank you x

[@sebm8075]

@@godwingood7232 don't need him shes back n we r both happy 🤙🤙🤙

[@x.mhuang631]

You are so on point

[@naekki18schlumpf]

Could you please discuss the topic of a delayed break-up, meaning, you and your ex agreed on a time-out to reconsider and than they decide to break-up anyway? How does the effort the dumped party made, effect the way on getting back together? Is that already begging and pleading?

[@efficient_pluto]

That's right where I am currently in! My LDR bf and I agreed on a "break" from the relationship because he had to join military service and claimed that the distance does not work out for him anymore. 7 months have passed and he turned into a very cold, selfish and kinda despicable person. I devoted myself to him and our relationship, trying to save it from going downhill to just find out 2 weeks ago, that he never made an effort! He never really cared about my fears. He changed so much from the person he used to be. The last time we talked he blamed me for the distance and although I offered to visit every month, he said it would not make a difference. So basically, he refused to solve that problem with me together. He had no interest in working it out. I'm now on day 14 of no contact but yesterday I realized the reason he grew so cold towards me must be because he found his emotional support in someone else. He must have met someone while in the army and made her his new anchor in life. But what's really making things hard is that I gave him lots of possibilities to tell me the truth and he never said how he truly felt. He kept on lying and made me an option. Even now, although he claimed to have no romantic feelings left for me. After I finish no contact in 2 more weeks, I'll end this myself and tell him that I know now and that I wish I would have get rid off him much earlier. Because since I started no contact, I feel so much more like my old self again! I feel free. Being with him was making me miserable. Now, I'll leave him to be miserable with his miserable decisions and his miserable life!

[@kimberlymadsen5954]

I need help! I got into a long distance relationship with my life long friend, (30 years)Within 15 days he dumped me and now I put no contact in place. I am so heartbroken. I told him I could not be his friend at this point. I Know I need to not think about him however, I miss him so much and feel this is a different dynamic because we have been friends for such a long time. Just by writing this I know I need to just LET HIM GO. However ii am grieving the death of someone when I know he is alive and is so devastating It’s been one month... I need some solid advice...

[@panagiotatzortzi1030]

Hello. Me and my boyfriend were on a ldr for 2 years and we met every 1-3 months. Due to coronavirus we haven’t met for 6 months and he slowly started acting weird and he told me he doesn’t feel the same way anymore and he doesn’t see a future,because we are both in a phase on our lives that we need to focus on our careers. We met in person and he broke up with me about 2 months ago. I started no contact but then its birthday came and i made a mistake and said that i miss him and other stuff and he said that its difficult for him too but he doesn’t want to fix anything right now. What do i do now?

[@thefatdragon4580]

Put attention to your career ! Trust me you have to! Build a good and Strong career and if after all that you still love him ? Then you are a real lover you should go with your gut and see what would happen ! 🌟🌟

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,..+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@Maulschellezack]

Rory, do you suggest sending him his stuff back? He broke up almost 4 weeks ago. Or should I not do it and wait? And also I still owe him money. Shall I just send it to his bank account without any word or should i write something polite like 'the rest will come soon. Thank you'? Thanks in advance rory. I made up a coaching with you and I can't wait ❤️🙂

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,, + 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@zarifshahid8694]

Rorey! Could you please do a video on highschool relationships and the effects of no contact and if it works on the same measures it does with people who are much older. Love your videos man thanks for all the help

[@TommyProductionsguy]

Zarif Shahid I have the same situation here too! I can tell you that no contact works. I didn’t initiate anything with my ex for two weeks and she reached out asking if we could be “normal” people and be friends. I told her I could not be friends and that I want to work things out for a relationship. If she changes her mind, she can contact me. I have classes with her and it’s hard not to look at her. We’re still young man. We have a lot waiting ahead of us. It’s a bit silly worrying about someone who doesn’t want to be with us at the moment. Work on yourself.

[@TheLoveChat]

It does! promise!

[@vittoriolasam912]

I'd like to see an update about this topic. It's been 5 months of no contact (NC started during the same day as the break up after some pleading) after a 2+ year relationship. We were together during college, and she broke up a month after her stay in Singapore. I feel a lot better. But recently, I had relapses. Help.

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,[phone]

[@gabrielvacacruz4211]

I doubt this will get looked at since this video is old but my girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago and we are currently LDR. Going no contact for about 3 weeks with a minor hiccup but she actually will be moving to where I am (military) in about 3 months. She’s going through A LOT of stress currently and I can honestly say she can’t wait to leave Korea but I don’t know if there’s any chance of us getting back together once she gets here.

[@findyourtreasureot1251]

Any update?

[@paulrolfe7421]

Really helpful and insightful

[@alv6353]

What if I was the one who broke it off??? I had a distance relationship for almost two years, from the beginning I was super honest with him and told him I wasn't into that, I need my man by my side you know? He agreed and compromise to do whatever it took to close that distance as soon as possible, two years later we were at the exact same situation, he travels to my country for work, every time to time, it can be 2 months to 6 or more, I was going nuts!!!! I was willing to leave my country, my family, my friends to make things work and he says he is not ready, that he loves me but he can't make that step just yet! He has depression and other issues that he claims has to take care first so I ended it last week, he was very upset because he always tells me I'm the love of his life and the woman who wants to marry BUT if that were the case, I'd be there!!! Or he'd be with me right????? I don't know if I made the right decision, I miss him every single day, so much 😥

[@vittoriolasam912]

I wish my ex gf was like that. If i were you, and he is a committed man, i assure you it's never too late. But be sure that he's improved.

[@CU-ji9lz]

Nice video

[@kevinhallett1112]

What do you do if they never told you why they broke up?

[@hibalitoufi6282]

Deal with the actions don.t try to know why :) move on booboo

[@cowboyluigi5275]

Hiba Litoufi why do you keep calling people booboo, I’ve seen you say that to at least one other person

[@_R.T_]

bipolar virgo man and taurus widow in LDR... very complicated... being down to earth i always try to work on relationship to the bitter end

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@_R.T_]

@@guettadavid5252 he is individually good... i saw the bitter end.... he was dating another one simultaneously whom he wanted to marry.... now she is gone... and he came back again... but i chose my dignity and didn't gave him the chance.

[@baphometbby]

He still loved me but I noticed especially in the last week that our conversations had gotten stale and now I know what he means by he doesn’t like talking to me but now I don’t think there’s anyway to fix it. We already broke up once because of distance. He told me 2 days before he loved me and he was sure of that but unsure it could work. Then he said we’re not compatible after I said I would change ect and we broke up because I’m “just not right for him” I don’t know what to do or if he’ll miss me when he didn’t feel heard. I noticed my responses got much more impersonal even when talking about nice things. They felt nice to me but I notice I didn’t participate much. He said he didn’t like talking to me and didn’t think he would like being around me.

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@guettadavid5252]

+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@Alchemist_171]

I was hoping not to find this video lol. Trying to move on. Idk if I want her back now that she's already dating someone else and I can't get a date. I need peace.

[@StrongWellnessJourney]

She stayed in contact with me after breaking up with me.... I told her I need time. We never met yet she still wants to meet and connect in person. I asked her when would be suitable for her she hasn't gotten back to me yet.... I don't contact her at all....

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,.+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@poppiemoe4474]

Its been the 3rd month.. and he never reach out to me after the long distance break up. I am very sad. I know I need to focus on myself, but sometimes the feeling is so overwhelmed by the miss, the good memories and him..

[@viktoriyashiskova3130]

Hun, time will heal you! Believe me!! I’ve been in the same situation. Let time take its course and you will be fine ❤️

[@juliejuleswiingreen7277]

I know how you're feeling. For me, its been 2 months of no contact. I still miss him like crazy, but I'm also starting to realize how badly he treated me. Has he/she reached out to you yet?

[@poppiemoe4474]

Julie Jules Wiingreen not at all.. I am thinking about him all the time but there’s nothing I can do. I just need to move forward now I guess..

[@poppiemoe4474]

Julie Jules Wiingreen Let’s stay strong! 💪🏼

[@topgunner1962]

@@poppiemoe4474 and Julie did they ever reach out? I am 55 days no contact and nothing from my ex

[@georgianaalexe6249]

Hello there, thank you a lot for the advice. I was 3 years in long distance and we meet every month and we lived together , so there is much connection and happiness for long time. Lately I was moody and pissed off because of my job and some issues didn't work quite well (yeah, i screw up a bit and yeah, he dumped me)...so he broke up with me saying it is going badly wrong (not fights, but many tensions in the last month). So, what would you suggest that I do if I want him to recontact me? Should I send him a message saying that he shouldn't take it personally (cause he did), he thought i didn't love him and accept him as he is and that i will work on my side? (what you said: that I don't accept his break up) or do you suggest that I go on with the no contact and act like I totally accepted his break up and i move on? I donno how to show him I changed if we don't talk anymore (we are talking of an old person, very stubborn, with a huge ego: he cuts off people from his life at the first hurt, extremly moody, difficult and a bit in depression)...in fact that was the break up reason: i am whi i am and can't change and maybe it is better you go and make your own life, mine was in the past....so, thus person is waiting for me to contact him and say i am ok and don't wanna break up, cause bla bla bla or he will contact me? Thank you!

[@FQ1998]

I went no contact and the only time she contacted me was to tell me that she is dating another guy, after a serious relationship.

[@dedoodle1643]

Did she ever talk to you?

[@GabrielGarcia-hy9fe]

I met my long distance girl online. We where together online for 1 year and 3 months. I applied no contact and she reappeared 1 year later. Another year later I finally went to go see her but she friendzoned me but I felt like she had some interest in me. I returned to the state and am currently in my last year of school. I want to go to her country to teach english and at the same time try to see if we are atracted to eachother like we were online.

[@adityashreeyan04]

Please update me bro..

[@sbman73]

Update me too. Similar boat

[@meekyungtmz4780]

Should I visit my long distance ex bf?? I miss him so much. He ghosted me after he dumped me.i am so depressed 😭😭😭

[@AhmadShah-mg7gm]

No absolutely not. This is why 7:48

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@meekyungtmz4780]

@@kungfukenny1540 we are no longer together. He broke up with me and he has moved on. It’s been 2 years today. I am the only one who’s hurt.

[@coreymichael2998]

Do you recommend NC for LDR?

[@themadmattster9647]

Corey Michael it’s trickier I would say since the space is one of the issues

[@JelenaVecic024]

I am on my day 7 on NC rule..after almost 7 years of LDR.. we broke up week ago.. so.lets try with NC.. i feel hearbroken..very sad.. LDR was good, but attraction failed :/

[@imaisling]

Jelena Vecic any update? We dated long distance for 4 years and I’m on week 3 of NC...

[@JelenaVecic024]

@@imaisling not yet.. will be 2 month of NC on 8th May...

[@imaisling]

Jelena Vecic stay strong, we can do this. Everyone says LDR takes time...

[@laaymillyy7079]

Well yesterday my ldr boyfriend broke up with me because he met someone else and it hurts so much. He says we might get back together in the future but idk🤷🏾‍♀️💔

[@puebo1472]

Don't be his back up plan! NoContact of course. If he returns, YOU are the prize, not him. Focus on personal growth, and improve your attachment style. Don't stop smiling please, you probably have a beautiful smile :)

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@johnnycase2905]

She said the same thing lol

[@mohanswaroop7687]

Me and girlfriend had long distance relationship break up few day ...she was tell that she not even stay with me because not getting any felling on me .. what should i do sir ?

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update?

[@SurlyMontanan]

I’m in my 3rd week of no contact. It seemed like a slow fade break up until I contacted a mutual friend and she got angry and blocked and ghosted me. I’m in a hellish state of confusion wondering what happens next. Part of me wants to just contact her and give up on the no contact scene and just get closure.

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update?

[@missellarae4656]

ive deleted all form of contact with him because it hurts too much when he doesnt asnwer calls or only reply messages because he doesnt want to be "mean"

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@anitaagbonavbare2314]

My ex and I started a relationship 2years ago, we were in a close relationship for over a year until he moved to another country. He moved away May 2018, So we've been in a long distance relationship. He came back September 2018 and spent less than 2weeks with me before he left again. He promised to come back before Christmas, and so he did. He texted me on his arrival, that he was going to call for us to meet up. But he didn't, For 5days there was nothing from him. I was sick of the excuses and so I asked for the truth. That was when he came clean about wanting to break up. So he dumped me 3weeks ago. And nope! I haven't exactly obeyed the no contact rule. I'm not sure it's going to work in my case because of the distance. Tell me what to do

[@dedoodle1643]

No contact works

[@Miki-un9ff]

Rory what if she lost feelings

[@johnnycase2905]

My ex and I broke up obviously (ldr) now she’s dating someone near her and last time we talked she told me that she doesn’t love me anymore and she loves someone else. I guess the this is the time to close the door and open a new chapter.

[@kungfukenny1540]

Damn how long where y’all dating

[@marymake9485]

Hi Rory we’re on Long Distance he ask for Taking a BREAK! I already on my 26 days of no contact since he ask for that. I miss him I don’t know what to do ! Should text him ! He said he wants to feel how’s it look when I’m gone and he i can text him anytime i want but he gonna text me when his ready !should I continue no contact? Thank you please response!

[@kheygie5262]

We are the same..it sucks..but what i can say is just continue with the No Contact. You need to have pride too. If they don't want to contact don't do it too..unless they are the first one.

[@marymake9485]

kheygiee 24 it’s hard until now but I’m on my 47 days of no contact! Never gonna contact him until his the one who reach out.

[@kheygie5262]

That's right..fir me its 30 days..i feel the same but making myself busy and enjoying myself with friends..and found a new hobby..it is actually effective..and by thinking that he will never come back will be less stressful and disappointing..but doesn't you'll be rude when he finally reach out. Just give him the space he needs. How long have u been together?

[@xHappzx]

@@marymake9485 that's not a break really, that's a break up

[@topgunner1962]

@@marymake9485 did he reach out?

[@thecomicsnation6942]

I was in LDR, she reached out to me after a couple weeks of NC, how should I answer? What would be my approach? Since I can't just make a date and take it from there.

[@OscarEnmanuelDJFONIX]

What did you do? Any Update?

[@guettadavid5252]

@@OscarEnmanuelDJFONIX I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

@@OscarEnmanuelDJFONIX He is a nice man indeed,,.+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update?

[@libragirl2978]

What if he is in a rebound relationship ?

[@koreh1496]

Update?

[@kewl800i]

Update?

[@libragirl2978]

@@kewl800i i don't know if they broke up I stopped watching his social media

[@kewl800i]

@@libragirl2978 I hope that they did and your ex contact you soon!

[@hanisahroszamri5039]

Ive been blocked when we break up .do no contact for a month then he unblock during that one month period. Then after that I initiated contact the third attempt he responded cuz I want an answer so he give his answer I respect it.i don't beg cuz it's stupid to beg cuz he says he has family commitments.so I put my manners I say my sorry and I say we can be friends cuz I don't want to be anemy if you want (I only say that just to show my manners cuz I don't want to be negetive) . I don't want to be his friend.but you know what you have to do to get your power back.last thing that I say to him thanks for the thing that we had then I sent my chat. If he read or not is up to him. I already say what i want to say. I want to stick to no contact but why would I stick too long if I want to know the answer so I can move on or stay together. Just take your time. If loves you he will come back. Just remember you guys deserve better

[@hanisahroszamri5039]

But he still follow me on Instagram using fake acc.so let it.i already know that u don't make me as priorities. I make my peace

[@seanrooney170]

My ex gf is in college but has to come home every weekend so it isn't technically long distance. I can also visit when I want. But I feel my ex is confused and I hope no contact will make her miss me enough to want me back as we dated for a year and loved eachother very much and it wasn't a bad breakup we did not fall out

[@ravencris2644]

Can we call a rebound becouse of ur LDR ex for almost 8yrs have a relation with her co worker

[@kewl800i]

Update raven?

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@angelsky729]

great vid

[@dinaosama6537]

We are not a ldr but like we are not meeting because im arabian and my parents don’t agree to meet so we just text and now he broke up with me after 5 months

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@jeremiepineda7698]

Is no contact rule applicable for long distance and never met each other? It's hard 😭

[@pizzatime8404]

Me and my ldr never met for 4 years until we did at the beginning of 2020. She left me right at the beginning of 2021. Long distance creates a sense of connection unlike any other because of it’s difficulty. I trust that she’ll reach out because we were both madly in love enough to even attempt ldr for so long. If you have that connection or something similar, they will contact you. I’m still waiting. So can you :)

[@jeremiepineda7698]

@@pizzatime8404 aawww. Thank you for cheering me up! I really missed him and I can really feel that we have a deep connection even for a short period of time and that he will contact me again someday.

[@face2799]

I wonder if it’s the same for long distance situationship where we did meet

[@kungfukenny1540]

@@pizzatime8404 update

[@kungfukenny1540]

@@face2799 update

[@soufiane7arbi122]

I'm from Morocco so sorry for my english. I am a long distance break up to, but we used ti see eatch other almost every Week end, Holidays, Vacations...etc. It's a down hell break up

[@yadukrishnans9373]

👌🔥

[@themadmattster9647]

That’s why I didn’t do pure no contact with my ex. I am not talking to her unless she does me now though

[@guettadavid5252]

I was in same situation of yours and I man me out ,,his name is coach Dan ..

[@guettadavid5252]

He is a nice man indeed,,+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 1 0 7 9 9 5 8

[@desjoshbpbo8212]

Guys help my ex is sending snaps and indirect pictures..I ignored what should I do

[@desjoshbpbo8212]

@@godwingood7232 who should I message

[@TheLoveChat]

Don't fall for this scam. Please ignore messages like this