4 Signs You're Abandoning Yourself Without Realizing It

[@keneillithium8525]

I've avoided my emotions so much that I've forgotten my own childhood memories

[@eked5894]

Same 😅

[@RaulMourao-tm6ml]

Same 🤗

[@leffanahsays]

Same

[@stoicbubble5755]

⁠@@RaulMourao-tm6mlWTF, you do not use that emoji for what you said.

[@stoicbubble5755]

Same 😥

[@Mysterious-Night]

I feel like I’ve lost hope in myself and I kinda just drag along through life, I become what others want me to be, then when I disappoint others, I’m nobody.

[@snowarmth]

You have the potential to know yourself much better than they ever could. You've been present for 100% of the things you've gone through. They have not. Even when they're not present, they don't read up on what you've been doing since they were gone. If you wanted to get to know yourself, you'd know what is best for that person much better than anyone else can. It's like how everyone "knows" what other people should do with their talents, but no one knows what they should do with their own. They jump at the opportunity to make a judgment for others as if a person only has one talent, but they recognize many talents in themselves. Don't let clueless, uninformed people have all that power over someone as valuable as you.

[@ElectricDubZz]

What I recognized about myself just a few weeks ago was, that I always tend to let others tell me what I should think. Like this I basically pass over the responsibility for my failures and mistakes. It has been much easier for me during the almost 10 years of bullying to be able to tell myself ‚Hey, it was their idea and thought they pushed into my mind. So it’s not my responsibility if I fail.‘ Bit guess what… I‘m 29 years old now and looking back, I lost so much and had to go through so much pain because I never really told my inner child that the danger is gone. I‘m free now. I can think and act on my own. My thoughts are not wrong as they made me think. My thoughts are exactly right. I AM the one taking over the control now. I AM responsible for myself. I‘m just at the beginning of making this important change. But I damn sure will take my life back. I. Am.

[@nezugt]

Probably because people have already abandoned me, so I have started to do so aswell.

[@mcmjr405]

This recognition is something that is worthy of praise. You’re in the driver’s seat now.

[@rvarinn]

Don’t, please! You deserve it all. Keep better care of yourself, once you do that things will start to look up for you!

[@thecorrupted3217]

Hmm

[@Connie-LynnBoast]

That, unfortunately, is the way I isee i (about myself), too. And it's oh, so difficult to do otherwise!! But, we just need to practice more, and stay firm about new boundaries!!! Chin up. 😊❤

[@freconsbo]

This..m

[@HowTo-Psychology]

Thank you for the amazing video! Here are more signs that you might be abandoning yourself: 1. Neglecting Personal Needs: If you consistently ignore your physical, emotional, and mental needs, such as not getting enough rest, not eating well, or ignoring your emotions, you might be disregarding yourself. 2. Lacking Boundaries: If you find it difficult to say "no" to others or allow them to consistently overstep your personal boundaries, you may be neglecting your own needs and desires. 3. People-Pleasing: Continuously prioritizing others' happiness over your own without considering your own wants and needs can lead to self-abandonment. 4. Ignoring Emotions: If you suppress or deny your feelings, you're not allowing yourself to acknowledge and process your emotions, which can lead to disconnection from your true self. 5. Losing Identity: If you're constantly adapting to others' expectations and losing a sense of who you are, it can result in feeling disconnected from your own identity. 6. Seeking External Validation: Relying heavily on others' approval or validation to feel worthy or accepted can indicate that you're not fully valuing yourself. 7. Ignoring Intuition: Dismissing your gut feelings and not trusting your own instincts can lead to making decisions that aren't aligned with your true self. 8. Neglecting Passions: If you've stopped pursuing hobbies or activities that used to bring you joy and fulfillment, you might be abandoning aspects of yourself. 9. Self-Criticism: Constantly berating yourself and having a negative self-talk pattern can be a form of self-abandonment, as you're not offering yourself the kindness and compassion you deserve. 10. Fear of Disapproval: Being overly concerned about what others think or fearing rejection can prevent you from expressing your authentic self. 11. Loss of Purpose: If you feel aimless or lack a sense of purpose in life, it's possible you're not taking the time to understand and nurture your own aspirations. 12. Avoidance of Conflict: Always avoiding conflicts or disagreements can indicate that you're suppressing your own opinions and needs to maintain harmony. 13. Constant Self-Sacrifice: If you consistently put others' needs before your own, to the point where it's detrimental to your well-being, you're likely abandoning yourself. 14. Isolating Yourself: Withdrawing from social interactions or cutting off relationships due to a fear of vulnerability can lead to a sense of isolation and self-abandonment. Recognizing these signs is the first step toward reclaiming a healthier relationship with yourself. Engaging in self-care, practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your needs can help you reconnect with your true self and prevent unintentional self-abandonment.

[@simpleneeds2582]

man thats a lotta steps... does cracking jokes during serious existential crisis count as a sign?

[@tejasraysad933]

Why doez it look like a chatgpt format, it says same conclusions all the time i tried to hv a counselling with it

[@HopefulMathGirl]

Well it takes time and sometimes we fail. But maybe it'll get better again.

[@AgentST33L1X]

Been doing all of these all my life for almost 30 years, that's awkward

[@MoodyBluesRequiem80]

Me who does all of them... 💀💀💀

[@shannonw6308]

I'm a probation officer and always find these videos useful, not only to help myself but to consider these things with the people I work with as part of their rehabilitation ♥️

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

You might also get some mileage out of "Therapy in a Nutshell", depending on what sorts of issues some of the people you work with seem to have going on. It's a channel on YT, run by a licensed therapist in Utah, Dr. McAdams. With series like "How to process difficult emotions" and a penchant to keep "coping skills" to a relative minimum so they stay "in perspective" she works more toward actually fixing what can be fixed... real healing. Coping skills are great, but more for "in the moment" and "crisis management", not as a fix-all to be used over and over forever... At least, such is Dr. McAdams' point of view. Anyways... as a probation officer, I know it's not exactly your job to be "Mommy"... BUT sometimes it just is what it is. If you haven't heard of or seen it yet, there's some pretty good stuff over there, too. I'd rather you have access (as in even know about it) to the tools than struggle on without. ;o)

[@angelalynn1979]

Thank you for being one of the people trying to make a difference ❤❤

[@111JenA]

That is so awesome! You are a angel in this world. God bless you and yours always.🙏

[@anderstermansen130]

Heyy

[@mandywindwalker6207]

The first mistake is that we tell everyone not to be selfish-some people need to hear that, and some people don’t 😢

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

We are all different and unique, at least so I thought.

[@rvarinn]

Sometimes it’s better to just focus on yourself, especially during *those* times! taking a break is okay

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

No one is perfect, but unfortunately not everyone sees it that way.

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

@@rvarinn I agree totally ^_^

[@azunkor422]

You have to be selfish to some degree never please people where you know it won't pay off

[@mikeschuett339]

I was raised that being a people pleaser/thinking of others was right, and thinking of myself was selfish. I realize how wrong that is. Thing is, that's how I grew up, that's pretty much how my mindset is. I'm trying to get past that and learn to put myself first, and others how I see fit.

[@spacedarling]

Same. I’m happy I am not the only one. We are working on ourselves 💕

[@coastaku1954]

The thing is I want to people please, that's how I get people to love me

[@RainaWilkins]

No offence to my Christian teachers but they were the ones who taught me that and they are wrong but they ment well.

[@Tati843]

Same here

[@inquisitive.2510]

Same here.....but at some point it sucks 😞.......

[@LadyGoddessSephiroth]

I just started setting boundaries and I feel a lot better about myself. In fact I went off on someone for the first time in years bc they were a jerk to me. They were shocked. So was I. But I felt a lot better afterward. I stood up for myself, which is part of setting boundaries. And they've been a better person to me since.

[@Niall_Peace]

It's a shame that they're only now being a better person AFTER you stood up for yourself!

[@L0vely_Gh0stly]

I accidentally abandoned myself when i was very young

[@carljames5443]

Now I know why I can't grow on my own, I always want someone beside me to make decision and being approved it by them (even little desicion). Now, I'm done being people pleaser.. thanks to this video. 😊😊😊

[@justoniascool9410]

Thank you for always helping me to learn more about myself and making these beautiful videos

[@juliabrnssr]

I remember would I used to say yes to all 4 items in this video. Now only 1 of them is a maybe (It's difficult to find friends with the same values). It's a combination of things that made me start caring about myself. Spreading too thing, Transitioning into the person I want to be, and Discovering my favorite Book. It feels great to live for yourself rather than everyone else.

[@claire9547]

I’m same, you learn that most of the “ friends you had don’t actually like you doing this. They liked being able to manipulate you because of the low self worth. It’s like resetting your whole life..

[@mrbanana7167]

Would you like to share what the book is?

[@juliabrnssr]

@@mrbanana7167 I wasn't sure if people would be interested about it so I left it vague. The title of the Book is "Atlas Shrugged", it's a cinderblock but I had a very hard time putting it down. It gave me a female role model when I needed one the most, as well as themes that helped out a lot. Great example, if people are controlling you with guilt then stop feeling guilty. Easier said then done, but it's liberating.

[@mrbanana7167]

@@juliabrnssr Sounds like it was very helpful. I'm glad to hear that.

[@percubit10]

This is true, selfishness is bad. Pleasing others is not good practice.

[@username7126]

I honestly don't know how to do a lot of the advice anymore. I barely can read my own emotions anymore, so it is a little hard to manage boundaries when you don't even know what you feel anymore or what you want.

[@c_man-ss5wo]

I just love how soothing her voice is.

[@hayleeramos278]

I’m definitely a people pleaser not gonna lie🥺✋🏼 I feel like taking care of myself is selfish 😞

[@JoelDJohnson1986]

Hi, I know how you feel. I was always a helper because my mom was a registered nurse, so it's very natural to me. It's okay, not selfish, to take care of yourself and your priorities first. Self-love is not selfish but paramount.

[@hayleeramos278]

@@JoelDJohnson1986aww thanks for letting me know 🥹

[@rvarinn]

Taking care of yourself is something that should be normalized! If you ever need to talk it out I suggest doing one of these things. -Talk to a *trusted* friend -Get a therapist -Or vent here if you comfortable that is!

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

Yea I've been that way a lot too - even way before the pandemic started. And if anything, the pandemic/quarantine got me to think about things on a much deeper and spiritual level - but again, it's one of those things that is a personal opinion and not anyone else's responsibility except mine to want to value myself; especially with personal care.

[@Wind_Cursed]

I'm right there with you. How can you love yourself, be yourself, AND avoid SOMEONE hating on you? How can you do that AND avoid someone being offended and hurt by your opinions, your existance? Maybe that's just my social anxiety speaking, but seriously, how? 😥😢 What if one of my core values contradicts so many others and just having that core value makes them hurt? But I still care about them!

[@hjiha.x]

I did all 4 just because I don't want to be hated. In highschool my friends talked bad things about me behind my back. I know this because someone told me and I think that is why now I'm in University, i do all these 4. Sometimes, it hurts but i don't know. Life goes on i guess.

[@carlosalmonte5898]

Hi, Seek therapy, it will be helpful. Wish you the best

[@hjiha.x]

@@carlosalmonte5898 thank you so much. Have a nice day.

[@NeverToMuch21]

Remember guys. Don't make yourself miserable just to make another person happy. You come first, and maybe if you have time or if you wanna help then go on ahead.

[@BeaglzRok1]

The first point always gets tied up for me. I have low self-esteem due to not fitting well into social standards and "falling into" being a jobless homebody, so while I do draw lines and boundaries and speak of my emotions with friends and family, I keep "coping" with my inability to schedule space for employment with the rationale that caring for my father in his elderly years and nephew in a turbulent childhood are valid and valuable uses of my time. I'm never sure if I'm acknowledging the good I contribute or gaslighting myself.

[@VortexFlims]

Ignoring your own emotions is the hardest one for me. Because I always fear that the fact that I get looked upon as a weak or people will laugh at me. For so long no one has really taken me seriously. And that's why I always hide my emotions really. And it might be more troublesome that family members do this more than friends or strangers. In fact, for me I feel more comfortable about opening up to acquaintances other than family members. I don't know what that says about me but... What do you think

[@jts1705]

yeahh!! its hard for me too and its not easy to express my feelings to another people because ik they would be sick of me and think me as weak person and thats how i grew up ignoring my own feelings to make them happy and it makes me worse after that. Yeah, i feel comfortable with expressing my feelings to my closest friends because they are only people who can understand me and support me. It's our pride to hold our feelings because it makes us look weak that's exactly how I feel. I meant yeah I understand you and I related to you man.

[@ava4689]

I dont know what to do with sadness. I do not process negative emotions well. My solution to crying is usually to just stop thinking about what is making me sad. That usually works until I think about it again. I dont feel comfortable crying in front of people. Its too vulnerable. And processing the roots of issues takes a lot of effort.

[@multivewer]

I love the illustrations with the cat, sometimes all you need is just the love of your little fur baby to feel better when you're feeling down

[@xx_aura_xx4186]

The only problem I’m having is that I’ve been putting everyone else before me for basically my whole life and doing what others expect me to do which has now gotten to a point where I don’t even who I truly am. I only know my selfless and people pleaser self.

[@Poliebear]

Thank you Psych2Go and team of course for making this video! I’ve been self abandoning myself for about all my life :( and brought myself into high functioning/smiling depression because of it, so what I’m meaning to say is thank you for these video and they’re helping me realize how I can help myself into finding help❤. Anyone that reads with a mental illness all I can do is say I believe that if you work hard you will get better❤

[@queenofgoldenhearts]

As a child I always thought that I had to put others first to be a good christian, which left me many scars of self abandonment and dealed with all the signs mentioned in the video… Today I have BPD, but also I’ve been to therapy and a different chruch, I changed and grew up a lot, now I know that to care for others I need to care for me first and that’s nothing wrong with it! Actually, even Christ said to love others like you love yourself. Is important to set boundaries and respect yourself just like you do to others and expect others to do so for you! ❤

[@chargedpikachu]

i was starting to abandon myself in 2018-2019 and fully abandoned myself in 2020 because i didn't have anybody to talk to. now, i try to self abandon myself less, but it's kind of difficult because i got used to such an unhealthy lifestyle from then, so i feel like it's impossible to recover.

[@HelloFam]

I've been feeling down again lately, thank you for posting this video and the voice is calming as always, I hope the good times will come to everyone ♡

[@tenebrisblade]

0:01 hi Psych2GO you've helped me over this summer so much and lately iv'e been battling deppresion and iv'e been getting better lately i mean your videos scored me a girlfriend and i js want to thank you so much for every thing you've done for me and my life keep up the work i love the videos stay well😄❤

[@Evelyn_Maii]

And I hope people dont forget that you are able to say no, and that the other person shouldn't manipulate you if you are in a situation like this. People who are good, accept you for yourself, they don't try and gaslight, or change you for their liking. ♡

[@-idk-61]

I don't need therapy I need this Channel and my problems will be solved.

[@jrtama5]

Working on this and so true that it gets trained into you. Making great progress and saying no more and in healthy authentic ways and it takes practice but it does feel better. If you need time to think because you feel rushed, ask/insist that you have time to think about whatever 'it' is. If it's being pushed or rushed by the other person you may just say no and can that talk or idea unless there's someone willing to work with you or find another way to do that thing if possible. You can do it!🙂

[@oobernoober7617]

I do all of these things because I feel selfish otherwise, but I don't feel like any pain I feel is important or even real

[@alter_037]

These resonates with me well. I'm at the point where I almost couldn't physically express emotions, even vocally. I'm able to express my emotions through text (not emojis) so I can communicate with my acquaintances a lot better. I can speak however prolonged conversations tend to exhaust me quickly and I'm not too much of a sociable person myself. When I meet new people, I hyperventilate for no reason and I always felt like nobody would... want to approach me because I'm super quiet. Also my mind went autopilot, thinking everything would be fine as I keep going as is. It did not. And neglected much of physical health too much. I'm fine for the most part. Though I think my time would be up sooner, and... I accept the fact. I'll just make the most of it.

[@jodibolan438]

That sounds kinda like me. I'm a pretty quiet person as well, and not too much of a sociable person either no matter how I would try to be. But, I do try to let the other person or people know that I am friendly.

[@Sayre777]

The title made me really sad. That’s such a sad combination of words. Self abandonment. Abandoning self.

[@rvarinn]

I completely agree!

[@Wind_Cursed]

When you're so used to abandoning yourself, it no longer seems heartbreaking Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean that directly to you! It was me talking about myself in 2nd-person, sorry 😞

[@ClawsAndTeeth]

You make that sound like it's a bad thing.

[@rvarinn]

@@ClawsAndTeeth It is, abandoning yourself is very harmful

[@ClawsAndTeeth]

@@rvarinn Explain how.

[@mojo_joju]

Thank you. I regularly work 12 hour shifts at work, 5 days every week. Sometimes it gets to be too much, but i'm too afraid of causing a fuss to turn down shifts. It really does take a toll after a while

[@ajscout594]

You can always support others. But support yourself first.

[@mrhouse8001]

This hits so hard and I’ve had an issue with and still am having trouble with this since I was a little kid and I’ve had a follow orders mind set. This really helpes 😊

[@SirPogsalotCreates]

I feel like I should clarify something. selfishness DOES exist--it is important to help other people when you can, and ignoring the needs of people you interact with can be selfish. HOWEVER, there is a difference between prioritizing your WANTS and prioritizing your NEEDS. when discussing wants, that's when it's important to focus on what other people want, because by caring about them before yourself, you do two things: you improve their life, which is just a nice thing to do, and you encourage them to do the same for you. so it's beneficial to you anyway. however, you SHOULD prioritize your own needs first, not just because it will help you but because a person with unmet needs is not in a position to try to fix the needs of others. an alcoholic is not the type of person who should be trying to convince somebody to quit smoking. prioritize your NEEDS, not your WANTS. your wants can wait, but if you neglect your needs, you'll harm yourself and others.

[@rlittlejohn579]

Used to battle with this a lot the past two years. After creating that space for myself, things have become brighter and easily align with my ideal lifestyle

[@johnbower7452]

A friend of mine summed it up very well; "If you don't look after #1, you can't look after anyone else."

[@nyx084]

Needed this video!

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

Haha

[@dymoure]

I think when you learn the difference between selfishness and self-care, that’s your first step. I know it’s hard when you’re a naturally a selfless and empathetic person. You don’t have to stop being those things. 🙂 You just need to recognize putting yourself last still means you need to help yourself. 😊

[@Oksimo-jc4tz]

I really needed to see a video like this. The timing of this is perfect. Thank you Psych2Go ❤

[@_jjjust.dreaming_]

man, if only i had this video 8 years ago.

[@tek512]

I was never taught self-love, only self-hate. My self-abandonment ran its course long ago.

[@Bionic8J]

Funny thing is that im abandoning myself because i never took care of my self. Now i am treating myself

[@rvarinn]

*TIMESTAMPS BELOW V* aaa i love ur vids! UR OUR HEROOO. What your doing is amazing, not sure if you’ve heard that but another time wont hurt TIMESTAMPS : (In sequence!) 1. 0:37 *People pleasing* 2. 1:22 *External Validation* 3. 2:07 *Avoiding Emotions* 4. 3:04 *You don’t respect yourself or set boundaries* 5. 3:58 *How to self-abandon less* If you’re seeing this, your perfect in your own way! Don’t ever change or even think about it. You matter, care for yourself! *Dont change for anyone*

[@KKH6]

Your first, good job! 🎉

[@rvarinn]

@@KKH6Tysm!

[@BlueRaven307]

This channel made me realize I have toxic parents as well as just not caring about life anymore. Fun.

[@edgeofsanity9111]

I can't even tell my emotions bc they're burried too deep in my subconcious I can very much relate to this bc I've been told to always think of others while nobody told me to think of myself as well, which is even more the case for men than it is for women (social expectations and shit) And I've learned that setting boundaries is pointless bc ppl will cross them anyway They always find excuses why their wish is more important than my boundaries

[@jangotyson1925]

I abandoned my ego, my self, everything which is self related with the reason of refusal to accept that every human being is egoistic, for 18 years. I don't want to be like that. This is my own dogma. Now I try to understand, no matter how selfless I am, I have to think about myself to survive, to express myself. But it's getting hard to think that way because of my self-inflicted dogma. Watching this, I recognize myself all these issues I have at the moment.

[@sindisiwemoyo9742]

Thank you for this video, I needed it... I would also suggest a book called 'Not Nice' for people pleasers like myself ❤

[@Geckooverdrive]

Ever since finding these videos? I found out more about myself than I have in 25 years of living. This is making me anxious. But I'm starting to understand more about myself now.

[@metsrus]

we can only genuinely radiate what we have inside, to this world, either self love or self hate. I learn that a self hating person can never love anyone else, no matter how much they want to or pretend to.

[@BradfordDurass]

I stay in my room alone and am very tired sad and depressed 😢. Also this is so cute ❤.

[@Lord_Mangoat]

This video describes just about everything about me... joy.

[@mixmsirmighty8845]

I already know I have abondon myself long ago but I guess I just wanted to confirm it myself 😢😢 (But I am really going to give myself a chance)

[@riderofthepalehorsedeathhi4061]

Im 29 havent felt good about myself my whole life. the validation others give me has been the morsels that getting me through darkest spots but im off soda trying to quit smoking working out im feeling more confindant my heart is so light now i always though people felt like me but just fake happiness but im so close just have to remain steadfast i know people like the authentic me more importantly i like th real me

[@berrykoo812]

I've always been a people pleaser. I think it's from the constant need for validation and approval when I was growing up. I'm still in the process of healing from a relationship where I would always say yes.. even if I didn't mean it. It's really hard to set boundaries when you never needed to have any before. It's even harder trying to forgive yourself for not setting those boundaries and blaming yourself for getting into those situations because you can never say no... It's easy to be taken advantage of that way. Even if it's not your fault... you still feel guilty about it :(

[@Sorinoir]

Okay... This is the first relatable video on this channel

[@Zionith]

I dont do much of this anymore except pushing my emotions aside, bottling them up because its all i know how to do

[@thegamingducky8671]

Wicked! ( Btw about the story telling I think it would be great!)

[@josiahkeroff9965]

you need to make a video on what to do if you've already fallen into self abandonment. and how to get out of it.

[@PEAK__]

I think this is my favorite animation style on this channel! Love them all but this one is my personal favorite :)

[@Zac_Bowman]

I watched this video, but I was never told when I was slightly younger (I'm only fourteen now) that doing things for yourself was selfish. In fact, I was told that I shouldn't worry about other people at all. But I can't not worry about other people, my friends mean everything to me. I don't neglect myself, either. I just put less focus on myself, which may still be bad, by honestly, I don't care. My friends are happy, so I'm happy.

[@forrain-r9d]

even creating boundaries can't help me 😭

[@berserkknightdeadoralive702]

Yeah, this was exactly what I did wrong, among other things Helping people is always something good to do, whenever there's an opportunity for it, but the person you should help first before anyone else is yourself And that's because, even if it sounds harsh, you can't expect people to come and solve all your problems for you; that's just not a fair thing to ask for others, because they themselves have problems of their own that no one else can fix except them You're in charge of your own life, as well as any other person around you is in charge of theirs, and it's your obligation with yourself to focus on any kind of personal problem you may have; no one will come to rescue you, because the whole point is that you rescue yourself from that position In a way, you have to become the hero of your own story, and make things better from what they're at the moment, and you don't have to deal with those problems alone, sure, but at the end of the day, the only person who can offer a definitive solution is yourself You don't have responsaiblity for what happens in the world, or what other people decide to do, but you do have the responsability to adapt to the situation, and find a way to make your life better That's kinda the conclusion my own journey led me to, not saying is a good advice, is just what I learn from my experience And thankfully, things are back in a better way than before this dark-phase started, and it's like a hero's journey: once again at the beggining, but this time wiser and with a more positive attitude towards life So yeah, carry on guys, you can have a happy-ever-after for yourself too, just have to fight for it 👍

[@valsfilms9200]

Journalling definitely helps me 110%❤

[@فاطمهقاسماف]

It was really good and interesting, after my mother died i really felt bad and didn't care myself and drawn myself with my hobbies ( reading books , listen or watching things but didn't enjoy it and i always make proud and my therapist started to love myself more and live in moments but still hard

[@willingram9751]

Thank you for giving me the advice 🙏 I needed to hear.

[@snin3202]

Thank you for making this video

[@jacobmullin3428]

I was taking care of my ex girlfriend for months, losing everything as I sacrificed more and more in hopes of her being comfortable and happy when she wouldn’t ever be either with me. She threw me away as soon as I couldn’t give anything else, and it destroyed me. Ten weeks later now, I’m picking up the pieces and trying to find myself again without her taking everything away anymore.

[@BradfordDurass]

I always cry .and I'm 😔 sad to.

[@HerbertAckermans]

I have no, absolutely no idea any more who my authentic self is... or should be...

[@rageofinfinity2032]

I just wanna say this at least once: Your voice sounds so soothing, and combined with content you produce here, it just makes me feel like you must be the ideal person. Like.... yeah. That's it. I don't expect a response or anything, I just wanted to let you know that.

[@samuelitooooo]

External validation is a big one for me.

[@ERBanmech]

It’s really hard, I was emotionally neglected in my childhood and had to take care of the emotional needs of my parents, it’s screwed me up a lot, I’ve spent so long serving others that I find it difficult to have passions and my own sense of morality has been hijacked to see things like self-satisfaction, ambition, and self- love as something bad that I should avoid.

[@rachelsmith1123]

Same

[@ModestNeophyte]

i get desperate for certain types of care that i am deficient of but i also feel the need to punish myself.. constantly.. doing nice things for myself feels SO WRONG.

[@imnotahumanimamoron42069]

I just can't even tell how related to the problem this all is anymore 1- i just hate kids now 2- assume that I shouldn't ask others for help because they probably just want something out of doing so. 3- just believe by now that im not actually depressed like i think i am and the only way to ignore the problem is listening to music for as long as I can 4- asking for help from anyone else is just weakness, doesn't help that I already have to hold onto walls to walk and use a cane or walker.

[@HunterSTommygun]

At one point I was really out going but I was forcing myself. Now I’m alone and I’m a ghost which is very nice an peaceful

[@theblondebomber]

The trick is all of the fearful avoidant people watching this and being able to apply it without it validating their instinct to withdraw and eventually ghost their partner the next time life gets tough and they have to care for someone else in a difficult situation: their partner loses a job (again), gets diagnosed w cancer, etc.

[@zimti7390]

Go to therapy if you are struggling, there is no shame in needing help living in this complicated world that can be unfair and cruel sometimes

[@rubybitesthedust]

Ohhhh, so that’s what that thing that I have been doing for well over 8 years (and still do to this day) is called!

[@Cadychan]

For setting boundaries - remember, "No" is a complete sentence.

[@RayvenLunaNite]

My process watching this: 1. Ok, I do that... 2. Ouch, that hit me hard 3. Uh oh, I may be in trouble... 4. Ok time to fix this... I find joy in singing, drawing, and writing. Those help so let's start there.

[@totallynotthebio-lizard7631]

Foolishness, Dante, foolishness. Without power, you can’t help anybody. Not even yourself.

[@whatpach8145]

1. People please. I can't refuse in help, for me it's very hard. I put people in a very high prioritize, higher than myself. 2. External validation. I don't seek it. I want to help, but just because I want to. Yeah, I'm that person... 3. Avoiding emotions. For real, when I'm alone, I don't try to hide or avoid it. While I am sure nobody sees them, I can have emotions. But when I'm around people, I cover myself. Like, I try to be happy, even though inside I am sad. 4. Don't respect myself. Oh yeah. I hate myself so hard, that I can bully myself by saying bad about myself.

[@galletgaming]

Crying session!? Wish I could have one of those… Someone make me cry!!

[@noserialkiller3596]

I love these videos because I can relate to what is said in many of them. No Serial Killer.

[@doniyormurodkulov8572]

setting boundaries works!

[@S_E_CON_Y]

I just talked to my mother today and she told me some stuff that happened when I was still a kid. Turns out I'm a people pleaser since a really young age. She said I was about 2 or 3 years old and while other parents told their kids not to steal toys from others, my mother told me to take my toys for myself as well sometimes since I would always give them away to the other kids although I wasn't happy about it. And now, many years later, I'm still the exact same person.

[@USMC0311CplJackson]

Everyone else has abandoned me, its okay to abandon myself.

[@ballistachicken]

Really needed this video today. Thank you for the wonderful content, as always

[@KallenMalefic]

This is why I have become a more selfish person. It is not bad. It is not wrong. It is being true to you.

[@mhult5873]

Thank you for all your videos. And I really like the art, especially the figures and the leafs - it’s symbolic, I see it as an illustration of life and growth. I also like the narrator’s voice very much. Thank you again. BR //M

[@joshuahummel2858]

I know people say there’s not as much “proof” behind certain psychodynamic perspectives, but holy heck is this an example of how well they can work!

[@crstixn.v]

Man my girlfriend just broke up with me this week and a lot of the issues she had with could’ve been fixed if I just prioritized myself and didn’t give in to everything she wanted. I’ve always had problems with boundaries so it’s something I gotta work on.

[@RyanNerdyGamer]

0:13 - 0:18 Confirmed; I’m still resolving the aftermath of this effect, and building a steady momentum with each success! ☺️

[@Bubby132]

your voice is absolutely beautiful and your content has helped me aswell as many other people keep up the greatness!

[@stephenmartin5766]

Yeah I have therapists and family to thank for that…people always telling me “anger issues” but I don’t get mad for no reason, now I’m in some ways miserable because I followed their advice finally, gave it a shot, now almost impossible to reverse without a full 180 which could land me in jail or trouble. I’m not supposed to have feelings, not negative ones anyways, basically what family and therapists that were forced into me all told me…now the same family members telling me the exact opposite and that they were wrong. Not even an apology just “I was wrong then, now I see do this” really irritating to spend your life growing up hearing that crap just to turn around and hear that you were more right even than they were 🤦🏻‍♂️ Got me over here trying to clean up my own mess by myself that kinda started with others. Anyways, rant over lol

[@jamespowell740]

Unfortunately I have people who depend on me greatly, which means I HAVE to put them first. And I gave up on self care over a decade ago....if it doesn't matter to anyone else, then it doesn't matter to me either anymore. Besides, better to go down doing something worthwhile at this point...since self care isn't really possible anymore, and only causes me to feel like I've been selfish anyhow. This honestly makes me hate myself more, than just giving up self care entirely.

[@emilschonemann6344]

The next time someone tells me to stop being selfish after I helped myself for one second, then I'll call them a mental killer.