4 Steps to Improve your Body Image: How to Stop Hating Your Body - Interview with Amy Harman, CEDS

Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Get the course: 4 Steps to Improve Body Image
courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Today I'm interviewing Amy Harman, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, on how to improve your body image. How you think about and talk about your body is like a relationship. If you hate your body or speak harshly towards it, it is like an abusive relationship.
But you can improve your body image, you can learn to see past the lies of social media and advertising, to stop comparing yourself to others, and start to treat your body with love and respect. You really can learn to improve your body image.
Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off: betterhelp.com/therapyinanuts...
Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Support my mission on Patreon: / therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Check out my favorite self-help books: kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/bes...
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
----
Music licensed from www.Bensound.com or Artlist.io
Images from Freepik.com (premium license), Pixabay, or Wikimedia commons

[@ShesMongolianASMR]

I used to have the internal dialogue of a drill sergeant - always so harsh on myself. Since I was a child I was always chubby and people - both adults and kids - never let me forget it. I starved myself, got surgeries, went to all kinds of extremes to look better. But now, I’ve learned to recognize that drill sergeant internal voice, acknowledge it, and replace it. I’m much kinder and forgiving to myself, just as I would be to a friend going through something like this. I don’t expect myself to fit into these extreme beauty standards anymore. I allow myself to be human. Whenever I have a moment of self-cruelty, I try to think to myself, “What would Emma say to me in this situation?” And it helps a lot. Thank you so unbelievably much for all that you do. The ripples of your warmth and wisdom travel far and wide.

[@seesone8035]

Glad you rediscovered the real you, your higher self. Your words are very powerful as they project energy good or bad. Know thy self, Love thy self.

[@naesharee]

I can relate. Another thing I'll add is to see ourselves as God sees us. How would He want us to see ourselves as being made in His image and likeness?

[@ShesMongolianASMR]

@@naesharee I’m not religious at all

[@fryingliontv9457]

My inner voice is an African Grey Parrot saying to me, “Fat bitch.” It’s funny but it sucks, too.

[@MartinTheCoach]

Awesome discovery. An internal problem takes an internal approach to deal with it..You did exactly that ....that is awesome.

[@toothpastehombre]

You can hate your body beyond even image - pain, fatigue, loss of ability or performance, disease and sexual identity come to mind. Sometimes it is not just about appearance or self-image, but about how one feels or functions

[@rebeccaarcher5139]

At 40 (20 years ago) I had a surgery and immediately gained 60 lbs! It was a horrible experience due to a hormonal imbalance. One day, I was sitting there, in great physical pain from the extended recovery, watching a rerun of all things, of “Baywatch”!! I became aware of my own self talk and it was terribly abusive! I could not believe that I was talking to myself in that negative way! It is hard to fight the criticism from within and without. Sixty pounds is enough to change your self image if you let it! Scary how much value we put on the physical person!

[@rebeccaarcher5139]

Note: after 20 years of obesity, I lost the weight, and now as I rebuild my mental picture of what I look like, I find that sometimes I still feel obese, and sometimes I feel “normal” for once, and sometimes I get terrified it will all appear again, and sometimes (more and more now) I’m not even thinking about it! What a roller coaster!!!

[@donnabolt5847]

This is huge issue for many! I'm sure men struggle as well but I know women carry so much hurt. Their breasts too small or too big and gross looking, being on our menstrual cycles and how nasty that is, breastfeeding is looked down on I can go on. Haters gonna hate. We HAVE to speak loving words to ourselves. Our body hears it. Our bodies are truly amazing. We bring life into the world. We are enough!!! Please love yourself because when your body gets an autoimmune disease or some other chronic illness you would do anything to have your health back. Thanks Emma!!!! 😊

[@metalciti]

I stopped the video at 7:20 I think using words like ugly and fat when talking about body image only adds to the problem of stigma and poor body image itself, I wanted to obtain new information about this topic because a family member has an eating disorder and several suicide attempts due to poor body image and I intended to share the video but I would never share it because the only message they will get is ugly and fat which are the same words constantly playing in their minds. I am a frequent visitor to your channel and I have gotten good solid advice in the past and is not my intent to start a comment war, I am just someone whose life is been deeply impacted by this issue and I made a conscious choice to be as thoughtful with my words when dealing with this particular family member.

[@PoppinHoops]

Fat is not a bad word nor an insult. It is just a descriptive word. We just carry so much value to it that we shouldn’t . Like tall, small, skinny, fat, none of them are right or wrong. You don’t have to have the judgemental value with it.

[@tinac3094]

I've been learning about body neutrality, where you focus on what your body can do, rather than what it looks like. And when I say "what your body can do", I mean within the entire spectrum of every physical body, including the limits some of us have. It bothered me when this video mentioned "ugly" people or "beautiful" people. I hope eventually we can learn to view eachother as equal beings, encouraging one another to share skills and experiences, rather than judge one another (or ourselves) on our outward appearances. I'm trying to view myself and others like I did when I was three years old. With a sense of wonder, and with a certain amount of obliviousness. ❤️

[@MartinTheCoach]

That is a practical approach to getting ok with your body because it's something your mind will take quickly rather than mere affirmations. This approach aids your mind to go into details of why your body is ok the way it is because it focuses on the purpose of each of the body parts.

[@zoemung4667]

I agree, not a fan of that commentary on how "even some fat people have good body image"

[@glorialong9545]

100% agree

[@daintytreasures]

It's so true. We wouldn't say those mean degrading comments to a good friend. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" means we need to love ourselves.

[@beanbagtales]

I love your channel. But right in the beginning at 2:00 Amy said how there were "beautiful people and ugly people" and I am here like wow did she actually call people ugly!!

[@kategh4709]

i know i was like uhhh??

[@genevievedube9814]

Yes!!! Strange comment...

[@nauselbaum23]

Very strange.

[@mihaelaclaudiap..2]

I will have to be honest, I never hated my body not even when I had few extra kg. That is something i am very proud of, that is that I always had the capacity to love my body the way it is. Great topic and very relevant indeed!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

That's great!

[@oliviatolonen8726]

there's probably significant privilege as to why you don't/never have- it is not some inherent accomplishment that you should boast about in this space. this comment is insensitive.

[@frootloot6789]

@@oliviatolonen8726 ^

[@spencerb9539]

@@oliviatolonen8726 you're speculating on why she feels that way ("there's probably significant privilege"), as you don't know her experiences. I think it's an accomplishment in today's society to stay body positive with the amount of body pressures that are applied through all types of media/friends and even family. How is her comment insensitive?

[@oliviatolonen8726]

@@spencerb9539 her comment is insensitive because of the demographic this video is geared to. its like watching a video on how to find housing as someone who's homeless and the top comment is "ive never been homeless even though there were times I didn't have enough to cover bills" how do you think someone would feel reading that at a low point while searching out this video? it was not needed, and not inspirational as I think she intended.

[@BeYourUniquePotential]

We can show up just as we are and focus on what we want from life. What we focus on we become and in any moment we can choose to think supportive or nurturing thoughts about ourselves. To make a new way forwards, practising appreciating ourselves throughout the day can really help. Becoming a good friend to ourselves is a great way to build trust which builds confidence as we begin to believe our own words. Practising a calm bedtime routine, morning ritual, all these little things add up to a better mindset, and feeling more balanced in our emotions. Thank you Emma and Amy.

[@Godwinpounds4333]

Hi 👋 dear, how are you doing?

[@rehaanrizwick]

good looking telling others to be happy with their body. Isn't that just perfect.

[@adshar20000]

I’m not sure how but even after everything I’ve suffered in this life, one thing has remained constant, i love my body. I love the way it looks even when i pack on a few extra pounds. I’ve never understood this concept of hating your body. I used to think it was an American thing due to all the media’s bs here but now i know it’s more common around the world.

[@marlene4914]

I have daughters with eating disorders, they don't use shameful talk to help motivate them to lose weight... it is a deep feeling of shame that drives their negative talk and veiw of themselves. Thank you for speaking on this topic!

[@suzanchristiaanse8972]

Great video. It really makes me think what are moments I have negative self-talk about my body, it’s really when im struggling with other things. And it helps to be aware! You can feel so much better without actually changing your body. It also helps not to watch a lot of tv, I have no insta , Facebook and I don’t buy magazines. I can only image how it is for people to deal with this constant bombardement of images in the media.

[@michellejohn2918]

Thank you so much for making this video. It was very helpful and much needed!

[@lucie8185]

that was so healing to hear , it’s like I’ve been craving these words

[@rohwermusicstudios]

I try to talk to my string students about objective self talk. I personally have noticed in my personal practice that negative self talk actually makes my progress and development slower. If you don’t have that objectivity, you can’t think through practice solutions as easily. Thanks, you guys!

[@maraC80]

It's true. The day I don't exercise I feel terrible. I accept that I have a problem. Since I was a little girl people criticized me. And yet I got married and have two children 🥰

[@Healthydistrust]

I have a question, how do we know people weren’t feeling this way about their bodies 100, even 1000 years ago? How do we know it isn’t an intrinsic part of our subconscious, for whatever reason? Even before we had social media there is evidence in historical literature showing that humans have been feeling as though our bodies are not in its ideal state. In Victorian era, where heavier set women were the ideal image, there were many many women who felt as if they were too thin. They were still body shamed by men. It’s interesting to me how you can speak on body image while simultaneously using terms like “average looking people” and “amazing looking people” when the entire idea of this conversation is to help those feel more comfortable in their own skin, telling people that you can love your image no matter what you look like but you’re still using the idea that there is a generally accepted idea of certain people being inherently more attractive than others. Maybe the issue isn’t that we may have distorted thinking, maybe most people are just painfully aware of the bodies we’ve been born into and how we’re interpreted by society and those around us. Maybe we just KNOW we’re either average or below average looking, maybe we know there will always be people who look better than us. When considering these concepts, it makes me wonder if we’re all struggling with some form of dysmorphia or if it’s just reality and we’re not happy with that reality.

[@BHBalast]

I think we can have good relationship with our bodies despite knowing that we are below average. It's not like as ugly person we are either grounded in reality and think harsh things about ourselves or living in a fantasy world in our head and thinking we are not ugly. We can also accept our ugliness and live in peace with that, that way we are grounded in reality and have a healthy relationship with our self. As for the video I'm critical, saying that fat doesn't mean unhealthy is just misinformation, she can't really argue with science. Seems like her way to treat patients is to create fantasy world in their heads that is not grounded in reality, and I'm sure it helps to feel better, I'd just prefer not to take the blue pill. At least after this video I think I understand more modern movement to call black white and white black, it's just an easy way for a lot of ppl to get rid of negative feelings. To be fair most of what she says is perfectly fine, I'm not okay with escaping form reality part tho. Btw. I'm fat and I'm in peace with that fact, also I have plans to make myself healthier and I'm working on that.

[@kathrynkayhong4359]

yes! they even talk about you can be ugly but still contribute to the world....

[@Cynthia_108]

Hmmm...that's insightful, interesting to ponder. I think self-shaming is unconscious, and therefore extremely difficult to stop with affirmations and kindness. SO easier said than done, right?

[@chocolatasm1255]

I’ve hated my body for 52 years. Had anorexia, been overweight. As a gay man there is so much pressure to look like a male model. Every day I tear down my self esteem. I’ve had hundreds of hypnosis sessions, therapy sessions. I don’t think anyone can help me. I’m approaching the later part of my life and don’t think I even care to try to “cure” this anymore. I don’t look at my body in the mirror, not even in the shower. I find this video to be very simple in its approach, “just stop it” seems to be the message and that’s not helpful for many people at all. The Affirmations they talk of are just words I say but don’t believe while I’m saying them.

[@Healthydistrust]

@@chocolatasm1255 exactly, this video is toxic at best. I’m so sorry you’ve had to struggle with the relationship you have with your body so much. I’ve gone through similar issues but not as intensely or for as long, something that has helped me is looking at my body from a general standpoint rather than aesthetic. Our arms and legs and organs and fat and muscle allows us to experience the things we value most in life like traveling and experiencing other cultures, music, sights smells tastes. Connections with people, connections with animals and nature and contemplating the universe and life itself. We’re given one chance to live human life, I try to appreciate it for what it is and let go of the more artificial aspects. I’m not on any way saying this in means of “this will cure you” but it’s something to think about, and I hope it can help in some way. Good luck on your journey, you deserve to love yourself ❤️

[@classicalcat3737]

I really needed this, thank you! :)

[@marlene4914]

Thank you somuch for this!!! I have 7 daughters and can say body image is definitely a struggle!

[@maureenharrop4951]

EXCELLENT program! Thank you both for this!!! I’m 73 yrs young & I STILL have body shame! But now I have great “tools” to work on this issue in a healthy way! Thanks again! 💖

[@Godwinpounds4333]

Hello 👋 dear, how are you doing?

[@domisthebomb09]

I was having a bad body image day. I feel so uplifted. I am going to come up with body positivity affirmations

[@Psychefire]

People need to start appreciating we all are beautiful in different ways and stop talking about ugly and beautiful people, who are these ugly people refer to would people call their children ugly , professional need to consider what they are saying...

[@bethanywebster7662]

I was truly shocked with what that woman was saying. Didn’t help me with my body image…

[@somethingyousaid5059]

It's true that I can have a distorted perception of my body image. But it's also true that I can have a distorted body, and thus my perception of its image _isn't_ distorted. The Elephant Man would have said as much.

[@everyonesalittlementalpodc8349]

Thank you for this video!

[@fujiokakujo]

11:36 yes, this really hit me. i am more than my body, i can enjoy life without stressing over how i look, my weight or whatever about my look. i deserve to be happy and im loved ❤

[@welcometowellness511]

Excellent video! Thank you!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad you liked it!

[@elin_]

The media and Social media are big reasons for our distorted body images. I'm soooo harsh on myself all the time.

[@dreamcrazy36]

Not true. I’ve been self conscious and hated my body since I was 9. Internet hardly a thing back then

[@elin_]

@@dreamcrazy36 I said Big reasons.. not the only reason

[@mlouw8218]

Thanks so much for this. I hadn’t really thought much about the relationship between wanting to be eternally pretty and cute, and wanting to be taken care of and forgiven for my failings…

[@sylveemoonfaye8533]

Having acne i struggle with the way i look and i let it dictate my whole day, its a struggle but this was very helpful video. Thank youu

[@KellsSmith1244]

Please, please, please do this. I think of all of the fun times I missed out on.

[@leoar_]

Thank you so much ❤

[@mathildaandersson1341]

I don’t really have my own negative self talk. I more just have a memory collage of stuff others have said.

[@aften4789]

Wonderful video! Keep up the good work

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thank you! Will do!

[@weltschmertzz]

It's really hard to override an idea that's been drilled into our heads ever since we were young. All these underlying message that women have to look a certain way to be beautiful is toxic. I'm healthy but am "chubby" by todays "standards" of what a woman should weigh but people say I'm unhealthy because I have fat. What's ironic is that the people saying that to me, both men and women, are the ones with heart problems. I have NO health problems as specified by my doctor. There's this fat phobia especially for women.

[@lilybee777]

I've been hard on myself about how I look but I tell myself I'm my best in this moment as long as I have a positive attitude. I tell myself I'm beautiful

[@robinvogt1472]

i put so much pressure on my self i workout every day always saying i have to look good my body is so tired i damage my back form working out on machines at the gym i needed major back surgery while recovering all i can think is im gonna get fat i need to workout i didn gain weight it crushed me those voices inside our heads can damage us women on tv looking great does not help i know there all plastic and bought but its hard i work on it every day but its a struggle especially as i age thank you for this video so helpful thank you

[@eliana6474]

Excellent! TYSM! 🥳🥳

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

You’re welcome 😊

[@jeanries434]

Thank you

[@TheHollowGHOST]

I feel like there is some language coming up on this video that is particuarly unhelpful when discussing body image. For example, numerous times, reference is made to "ugly people" and "average-looking people". I don't see how using such language is conducive with promoting a healthy body image. 🤷‍♀️

[@Brandon-mt4tm]

I have not heard a single male therapist/ coach, or even influencer say that it's ok to accept yourself as you are. The closest I've heard is "it's ok bro, just go to the gym". I've really been struggling with this.

[@rijubhatt8366]

The practice of mindful living is a way to overcome the constant rush of thoughts that run counter to our well-being. The mindful state does not silence external sounds but accepts them. The inner monologue is in our hands and thus we may reduce it, transform it and allow ourselves the liberty to will it in and out of existence. I have experienced the positive effects of mindful living. In my case, I am trait mindful.

[@chocolatasm1255]

I’ve hated my body for 52 years. Had anorexia, been overweight. As a gay man there is so much pressure to look like a male model. Every day I tear down my self esteem. I’ve had hundreds of hypnosis sessions, therapy sessions. I don’t think anyone can help me. I’m approaching the later part of my life and don’t think I even care to try to “cure” this anymore. I don’t look at my body in the mirror, not even in the shower. I find this video to be very simple in its approach, “just stop it” seems to be the message

[@nauselbaum23]

You are wonderfully made and more than your outer shell. Where is this pressure to look like a model coming from?

[@lilnoe8274]

I'm sorry you had to go through this for so long, it must be such a heavy weight to carry. I can relate to not really finding anything that helps. But I hope you're doing ok, and know that you deserve to feel free and valued, regardless of the state of your body.

[@indecisiveexplorer4565]

I have to try to give up on the idea of liking myself on the outside. I've struggled so many years. I know about photoshop. I know how makeup and lighting can help change a persons looks. I also know that it is pointed out in the media what parts of me are not considered right and I have an entire list of what someone could view wrong with me on the outside. I wish someone had a way to make me accept myself as beautiful on the outside and even in this conversation they are saying some people are ugly on the outside. I don't think anyone ever wants to be viewed as such.I've been told instead of hating my body like it because it gets me around. Now I am getting wrinkles. Just one more thing we are taught to dislike, aging. I guess I was hoping for some magical wondrous epiphany from this video but I've been in therapy for over 20 years so oh well.

[@Ashraf-fz2ql]

I love your videos and was about to share this with a loved one but I hesitated as your guest uses terms such as “ugly” people “average looking people” etc. I hope you can post another similar clip on body image minus the labelling, which may take away the credibility of the subject matter…it’s a bit of a shame as most of the content was really good! I still love you and your content in any case:)

[@autumnskyes5633]

I had a bad body image when I was younger. Mostly it was because my family thought it was funny to poke fun at certain physical aspects of us girls. Later on in my tween years, this really didn't help that insecurity that starts happening at that age. After having three kids and a low thyroid I gained a lot of weight. I mean a lot! I eventually had a roux n y weight loss surgery. I lost all the weight. I found once my weight was coming down I found that I was being treated differently. I remember walking past a doctor that worked in the same clinic I did for almost ten years at that time. He never said one word to me before that point. That day he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time and stopped to have a conversation. It really hit home for me because I was the one that his patients would ask for to get their blood drawn. I'd go to his office a few times a week for years. He never acknowledged me let alone remembered my name that was on a name tag on my scrub top until I had lost that 150lbs. That bothered me for a long time. No matter what I looked like, I was still the same person. Now that I'm going to be 50 in a few days and am currently newly divorced after 23 years, I find that "kind language" harder to hear. My head is going back to that. Critiquing my body image has been ingrained in me for so long. I felt I had it handled. Maybe I really didn't have my bad body image handled after all, it was just the fact I lost all that weight and I ended up with a false sense of value in myself. This is something to think about. Thanks for putting out this video.

[@jmccouture3866]

I love all your videos. I have PNES. Sometimes when I have my episodes it is hard to Control them. Some of the times I feel like I need new coping skills. Can you do a video series on PNES? That will seriously help me and others search struggle so dish disorder.

[@sarahblunden4372]

I have always been hard on myself due to my weight, It has fluctuated over the years but I've really started to like myself better since coming out of my marriage.

[@carmelhughesparolya899]

When I don’t show up it always makes me feel much worse about myself and steadily chips away at my self esteem

[@sunshinerainbows4627]

Great video! The hardest part about body image is when you're working to earn a living with minimal time to exercise and your partner comments on the extra pounds or not-so-perfect body parts like legs or butt. Even harder if that's your actual body type and truly not changeable in a significant way. Kinda hurts. Love to learn how to power through the criticisms.

[@malumusera]

Your partner is awful

[@cheezepye]

As a trans woman that started transition in my early 20s, I definitely struggle with body image 😔 It feels impossible to ignore the hate and feel good about myself when society continuously reiterates that we are disgusting, less than human. The amount of vitriol that comes my way is difficult to deal with. Every time I complain people just say that things are getting better and imply that we should stick to our own kind, but what if I want to live a normal life? I think some of what she said definitely applies but with the current state of things in society loving my trans body feels like an incredibly radical act, if not a pipe dream

[@womanbei]

Just know that you're not alone. :Hugs:

[@AngelBien]

You are NOT less than human. You have a divine soul

[@russky68]

Body image is the worst thing to obsess about.. appreciate what you have..

[@a-spaceman]

I'm afraid that most people are shallow - as I am And it matters what you look like. It matters more when you're in your breeding years than it does when in your 60s as I am, but I still feel like crap about how I look no matter how many positive affirmations I tell myself. Good looking people have more fun than the ugly or plain ones.

[@mikemar988]

When we dismiss someone as being fat, stupid or whatever, we usually not express it due to various social agreements. It doesn't mean the thought is not there. We can hide our thoughts from others but not from ourselves. I don't see how that works since our thoughts preceed our behaviour. Any help would be appreciated

[@AdipescentCat]

You are not your thoughts. You are your behavior. If you have fatphobic thoughts, I wouldn’t say it’s a “good” thing but that’s far more preferred than actually being prejudice against someone because they are fat. Example would be purposely being rude to them. Even subconsciously acting rude to them.

[@blossomparangi-lualua2239]

Money dont mean shit to me wont make me happy treat me as i would treat you in loving all of your body and loving all your imperfections I know I do deserve so much more love.

[@johnny_roots]

I know that women struggle much more, but men can also have low self esteem and much violence in their inner dialogues. But many won't talk about it, because we were taught not to, because it's a "women's problem.". Sometimes that will come to surface in unhealthy ways (ex: destructive or self-destructive behaviours). I found this incredibly helpful and will share with some of my male friends. Thank you both! BTW this channel makes my heart warm ❤️

[@Maddy-iv7zy]

I work a lot on building myself and being more comfortable in my body but then my family visits me and they fatshame me every single time. They have an obsession with my body, it's an ongoing thing for more than 7 years. I have so much trauma regarding it and I fear going home if I am not "fit"....

[@prettyzen2]

I'm a size 10-12 with a upper body of 6-8. I struggle with lympho and lipodema in summer time which swells my lower body. I also have 'cankles' which is a visible cuff of fat on each ankle. I've been told by one jerk I have legs like tree trunks and a doctor even proclaimed I must have a health problem and measured my ankles and prescribed diuretics ( my appointment was for a mole removal) I hadn't mentioned a word about my ankles but had shown up wearing a pair of short as it was hot. So anyway, I view my ankles as a disfigurement and wherever possible live in maxi skirts or long pants

[@fatematabassum5247]

I feel happy just because I know that I am not alone now

[@phillipsantana2633]

Very good too often we get to a point in life where we conquer one fear but develope a different one.I have gotten older and the laugh lines are showing,so I get self conscious about it toss the thought and something else Will start to bother me ,so there's always something coming up. If we address the problem with good results chances are you can combat the next one. Because there's always something coming up that will present itself Don't give up.

[@mlouw8218]

In a future episode I wonder if you could talk some about how to tell when you values are valid. I always worry that I’m a bad person, and certainly I’m regularly outside of my own integrity, but I think that I’m maybe sometimes overreacting to my mistakes, feeling ashamed for how I spoke to someone of my facial expression long after they’ve forgotten… and maybe my standard is impossible. On the other hand maybe I’m really far off course. How can I tell if I’m experiencing a cognitive distortion? I’m thinking of this because if I’m not criticizing my body and trying to improve it, I move on to my character 🤕

[@criticalmaz1609]

Tried for years to think positively about my body but it only made me feel worse, like I was lying or gaslighting myself.

[@linzlu7051]

Emma do you listen to kara lowenthiels unduck your brain!!? Your war anxiety video helped me so much! Thx🥰

[@BlondeQtie]

i think we are missing the point somewhere. i know that i am still smart and i can do art and i am a funny and nice person. but i want to be craved, admired, looked at, lusted after. and that is simply not happening in this body. it feels like a disability. you want to do something and you cannot. like playing volleyball without arms. your body doesn’t support this feature of life experience or only on rare occasions. attention is like a drug for the brain. i know both sodes. i am not fat, i am at the upper range of a healthy body weight. but at BMI 18/19, life was different. i hated my (non existent) diet though.

[@lilletrille1892]

6:05 Uhm... That's pretty much how my homework sessions went. My mother was an elementary school teacher so she knows teaching science.

[@tjparker8654]

What does one do when 1. allergic to food types ( dr tested/ proven ) and have an aversion to eating. The textures, smells, etc. Is there something I can do for that so I can eat regular food?

[@kathrynkayhong4359]

it's not only "if i am perfect looking, i'll be happy," it's like, what if i am not pretty enough to attract a mate...i mean, some people are pretty, others are plain, some are ugly....also worth mentioning are all the reality shows about women changing their bodies, mutilating their bodies, to "look better."

[@azeemnawaz8418]

Nice

[@OSHAPSOUGH]

Can I ask a question ? how to stop thinking of problems and people

[@user-uj6bm6od3w]

Where is the social anxiety videossss!

[@aarav34590]

What about hairfall and myopia (nearsightedness) these two things Crepling me everyday 😭

[@kerrin6633]

I think the world is so judgemental even if I have body confidence. So it's very eroding and degrading like mentioned about body types that are discriminated against. I get a lot of discrimination. I don't think fear should be listed as unreal tho

[@mirianakovachevic748]

What if it's not about image, what if it is real problem ?

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

Worth a mention... Over the years of cinema, LOTS of objectively "less than attractive" people have had STELLAR careers with accents on their less attractive attributes... Think of Buddy Hackett, Tim Conway, or Anne Ramsey either as Danny DeVito's "Momma" or "Ma' Fratelli" in the Goonies... The reason I bring this up, isn't just to diminish image-shame... BUT also to point out that as mentioned in the video, "Advertising Works"... Right? Well, when was the last time YOU saw a core character in a series or cinematic adventure that was "goofy looking" or "obese"... Lots of the side characters are allowed to be different, but the main cast??? Never... Now I wonder just how much it's driven by audiences or viewership... and how much is purely another excuse to limit or even mistreat "fresh faces" because the Hollyweird executives just don't like the way they look... AND the truth is, so long as they had the patience to build their career and grow as an actor... nobody in the audience would much care??? Jack O'Halloran was often type-cast as a villain or scary thug because of his dominating stature and VERY characteristic face... Jack Elam was popularly known as "Dead Eye" for his characteristic Lazy Eye... a medical issue... BUT he laughed right back all the way to the bank. He had a LONG and stellar career, and didn't mind type-casting for years... BUT he also joined the core characters INTO comedy with "Support Your Local Sheriff"... SO while it takes time and patience, there IS real potential... Maybe we (audience) ARE to blame, at least in part... BUT I don't recall ever switching the channel or finding a different show because there was a central character who looked any particular certain way... I don't remember any TV executives asking me which "body type" should be the news anchor or a main character in a specific TV show or movie either... Be careful how much and what media you bombard yourself with... Maybe that's the best take-away.... Because we ALL can probably name at least three of our favorite "under-dog stories" with a coach, mentor, drill instructor, or some other paragon character who ABSOLUTELY foul-mouthed and berated our "Hero"... Whether it's Burgess Meredith calling Rocky Balboa "A Bum"... OR you want to talk R. Lee Ermey in "Full Metal Jacket"... Even coaches on "King of the Hill" talk sh*t to their charges, students or professionals, and it's supposed to be satirical, BUT we "eat it up" and amid those laughs... maybe something altogether toxic is sneaking in... Now, I'm not saying "Boycott" or "Cancel"... Far from it. The objective lesson is "Take a break from it." Brainwashing is based on sleep deprivation and mind-numbing repetition... It's all about "Tearing the subject down to build the subject back up anew." They use it in Bootcamp to impressive efficacy... but the fall-out for those who "don't make it" is terrible and often enough, life altering. Let that sink in a little bit... What you do with it is up to YOU, of course... It's just observation, but too often I see people getting themselves into trouble, and then wondering how they're in trouble... We've got to get better than that. I hope this helps (someone... anyone) ;o)

[@singlaankush777]

why the course is so expensive?

[@MagdaleneDivine]

11:11

[@Freddy-ff8yj]

My thighs are gorgeous but except these i don't like almost any part of my body

[@fujiokakujo]

12:53 😭😭😭🤍🤍

[@HealthandHealing7]

✅️✅️

[@ralexav]

May be it's need to stop call fat people fat and call them more precise as "unhealthy people". I like what doctors never told you to lose weght but prescribe you pills to fight with consequences of it. They don't talk you about unrecoverable catastrophic damages of it.

[@mindyvfamily203]

My internal body image voice is a nasty jerk

[@rakhivaishnav6259]

I am an overweight person by 5 kgs and trust me if i ever wore clothes which fit my body like swim suit or anything. My emotional break down will be bigger than everything on this world. This video is just not working for me. This is not at all practical. It is not that easy.!

[@shukorina416]

Lol this is not realistic. Sorry to say this, I will be happy once I lose weight because I will look good in the clothes and feel better. When I did lose weight at once I was going out more. When I gained my weight and was depressed I stayed home. Im not going outside if I look terrible and I’m huge, I rather be comfortable than uncomfortable.

[@ffh6795]

to me the whole premise of this video is based on you being able to like stuff about your body. that is not working that well for trans people. but even with dysphoria ruled out some people just cant get over their physical limitations. the fact that you two are pretty makes me doubt that you ever felt the pain of having-no-chance-of-being-good-enough-for-yourself. some people just lose. what about them? what if you are not just scared, but its your actual reality?

[@BHBalast]

I feel you, I think the attitude of this video is more like taking blue pill and living in one's head within a positive fake word. It will help a lot off ppl tho, it wil also loosen their connection to reality. The way out, is to accept reality and live in peace with it, it's a lot harder than living in fantasy world, but it's the way out. This also means being critical of our thoughts about how bad the word is, because constant harassment of our mind also means lining In a imaginary world, just negative one.

[@valeriejoylauria8944]

I always LOVE your videos, but this one greatly bothered me. What you’re saying basically is that looks don’t matter. That’s true! But then why are you ladies wearing mascara, makeup, your hair is neatly combed, I’m sure you chose what you were wearing today because you were going to be seen, etc. What you’re saying is to define your self worth and then you won’t worry about your body. While this IS the best way to live, it’s not how we’re programmed. This is taking a huge, huge leap from caring or obsessing about what we look like to not caring at all. That’s the way I take this video. Perhaps I’m not understanding completely but I just think you ladies would not look so nice if you were basing everything solely upon your self worth. I’m sorry there’s just not enough in this video to teach anyone (or just me 🥴) anything about how to stop obsessing about what they look like. I do love your channel, thank you for putting your videos out there.

[@cats6111]

Brilliant. Thank you! It is nonsensical to talk about body image, whilst the two ladies presenting the information are wearing makeup. They too, have been, and still are, under the curse of body image issues. It is what women are taught from a young age, and manifests it self as spiritual turmoil. Never mind the fact that certain standards of beauty are constantly reinforced. How many women are taught to be spiritually beautiful? Not many. I appreciate this channel and find it helpful and insightful, so I am not knocking these two ladies, but hope that they too, can overcome this “thing”. Good insight-

[@BHBalast]

The video is okay but saying that being fat doesn't mean being unhealthy is just misinformation, you can't really argue with science. Saying fat I mean it like science defines it, because there's the difference between curvy and fat. It actually can be harmful to say that, because ppl believing this misinformation may not want to change themselves.

[@achilles7736]

Get shredded, duh?

[@Morticia147]

Great talk, but when it come to how you should word your affirmations there are very bad examples in it. You should never use negative words or words like didn't, doesn't, no, not and so on. Because your subconscious does not understand them and eliminates them from the context. So if you say "My weight does not define who I am" your subconscious get's " My weight does define who I am" - so please don't do that. Word your affirmations diffenrently.

[@fionaquinn8777]

So Amy is talking about sabotaging ourselves by being harsh, but so that we get better and healthier (there is nothing wrong with that); yet at the same time a reckon she should do something about her body image and not accepting a fat and chubby (unhealthy) body. Don't let yourself be unhealthy just because you have to be ok with a distorted body because chronic diseases will come from that and hello years of suffering especially with all what we have are still going through (COVID)

[@cats6111]

I would like to second what another person wrote in the comment section about the two women presenting the information. Both of them are in makeup. Body image is a great conversation and one that should be had amongst women. It is a deep issue that causes so much spiritual turmoil in the lives of women. I am no exception, but I put away the makeup years ago and have never regretted it. We, as women, also have to take RESPONSIBILITY for contributing to this pile of mess. If we walk around in makeup (which historically only prostitutes wore), and “sexy” clothes, what we have to realize is that we are feeding the demon, not destroying it. Should women feel “sexy” all day? Perhaps, keep it for the bedroom? To me, women are hurting women, and keeping the pain alive. We can blame everything on social media, but at the end of the day, you don’t have to consume social media or television. What women are doing in their everyday lives, this bears much more weight. Modesty is key. If we as women, would value modesty, our lives would be so much better. Women could stop hating each other and comparing themselves to one another. However, we have to look at ourselves first. I am not innocent of being the woman in the tightest jeans or the “sexiest” outfit. That was me. I caused a lot of problems in my marriage due to this, as my husband hated my lack of modesty. This thing of makeup and clothing are tied to our pride and ego, and I have let those things go, but now I have more understanding about why I was doing this, and why other women do it too. I cringe at the thought that my lack of modesty and pride in my own flesh may have turned the head of men who were married, and how that would hurt the women who were married to them, making them feel body image anxiety. Imagine a world where all women hid their shame. We would not be experiencing these spiritual issues. There is a Scripture that says a woman’s whoredom is known by her eyelids. I stopped wearing makeup shortly after reading that. It has resonated with me and I haven’t forgotten it. We need to heal, but we need to look at ourselves first, and ask if we are contributing to the pain of ourselves and others, or are we separating ourselves from the masses of women who partake in immodesty. With that said, I know that this is one angle of body image issues, but a very large one I feel, and one that should be considered as heavily-

[@TheMrfrodough]

I'm sorry but Amy is factually incorrect. Being fat is unhealthy medically, that's an objective fact. I'm a fat person (6'3 339) who is in the process of loosing weight and improving my health. Comparing being fat (which is almost entirely in the individuals control, other than the rare medical condition) to someone's race which they can't control is severely dishonest and misleading. No people shouldn't make fun of people for being fat but pointing out something that is unhealthy is in fact unhealthy is just being factual. I have severe doubts on Amy's abilities and point of view after this.

[@mayaelizabeth2004]

Here here

[@aneshialewis5853]

This video comes off with a tad bit of ignorance. Using words like “fat” and “ugly”. No one is “ugly”. Also somehow drawing a comparison between race and body image. Two different topics, two different forums. Two very different issues and resolutions

[@shanemcguire6428]

i have to respectively disagree fatphobia doesnt exist you cant just slap phobia on a word and say it exist things like truth and being health consious does exist cause alot of people have used the term fatphobia for a reason to stay fat and lazy and its very dangerous to your health when in reality a person can do something about it and even exercise regularly improves even mental health

[@anon0926]

I used to like how you respected people's feelings. Are you now sacrificing that empathy to stay within the "In a Nutshell" structure like a simplified sitcom? Body dysmorphia is very powerful as are eating disorders and often tragic; similar to drug addiction. Your laughter with that other therapist to me came off as minimizing sick people's suffering and was disappointing. Seems like you are both simplifying some deep issues people suffer from despite their struggles to heal. Please be aware of how you come off. Thanks for your help.

[@ac27934]

Based on the thumbnail, apparently the answer is “makeup”. So much for being okay with who you are, as you are. 🙄 Edit: based on video of the actual presenter, apparently the more complete answer is “internalize as many trappings of gender stereotypes as you can.” Regressive gender identity solves all ills.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

I'm confused. Did you assume that the thumbnail was a before and after picture?

[@ELP1017]

Fashion and makeup is a fun thing for lots of people and doesn't always have anything to do with body image problems. It is an outlet for expression. Not sure why you took the time to be hateful?

[@womanbei]

@@TherapyinaNutshell I looked at the thumbnail again and I believe so. You look both similar enough that they apparently drew that conclusion.

[@catwmn14]

She’s not even wearing much makeup?? It’s very minimal and natural. Just because you wear makeup doesn’t mean you’re not happy with yourself, it just helps you accentuate your favorite features

[@womanbei]

@@catwmn14 exactly.

[@CKBrooke]

I mean this with the utmost respect and coming from a place of (what I hope is) helpful constructive feedback. But…two conventionally attractive thin, young, blonde, white women having this conversation feels like it leaves out too many relevant perspectives, to the point of alienating the very viewers who maybe need help healing their body image the most. 🫤 Peace and love, thank you for the content.