4 Strategies To Be a Better Father

In this week’s FRIDAY FIELD NOTES, Ryan Michler discusses FOUR strategies to help men become better fathers and shed the baggage handed down by our own fathers. Hit Ryan up on Instagram at @ryanmichler and share what’s working in your life.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
1. Recognize that our dads are not superhuman
2. Be realistic about what elements you want to take from your own father
3. Review the work that we are doing
4. Think about what your kids need
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[@1SmokingLizard]

"Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice". -Charles Kettering

[@ronmexico79]

Excellent! So true

[@bjornson1452]

That's the goal brother

[@1SmokingLizard]

@bjornson1452 I'm glad you help confirm this Broski. Bless you.

[@Sigma100_]

To a certain extent in all cases, this isn't true. I was very observant as a kid. I wanted nothing to be like him. I knew and know he loves me, and I as well, but for my children I chose to change the image as a father he gave me. My legacy AS a father is so important. I live my life always thinking of them. That quote wasn't true for my dad, but very true in my eyes. Peace ✌️ brothers

[@jlarsent]

I’m really glad I stumbled upon this. I’ve had full custody of my 2 sons since 2014 and I wouldn’t want it any other way! I’m not always perfect I react to things sometimes before thinking but I also know when I’m wrong. This was a good reminder thank you!

[@newera7993]

As a father of a beautiful 5 year daughter, I've been reflecting and I know I'm failing as a father. I've been struggling with alcohol and I've tried many times to quit I always come back to it. I'm one of those so called functioning alcoholics If you will.. I'm going to try and quit today after watching this video. Hoping today is day 1 to being a better father. Thank you

[@Allium_369]

Do it for her man. Not only will you be a better more present father your health, mind, and soul will be amplified. Focus on becoming the best man you can be. Clean eating, exercise, spirituality all helped me quit. It wasn’t just kicking the booze for me. I made it into a complete transformation of my self.

[@robertwellman8571]

Sir I’m literally half a bottle of the cheapest whiskey money could buy listening to this

[@GoatlikePersonality]

Good luck, I hope you never give up ❤

[@alexandermonzon8165]

​@@Allium_369 That's right brother I been thru it has well multiple Prison stints and now I drink every know and then the struggle is real and we gotta man up and we owe to our little ones to be better men Physically Mentally and Spiritually and Financially be our best Brothas we got this let's kick the booze to the side Partnahs life is good and the Glory Belongs to God May all in the struggle get out the dark hole of alcoholism and drug abuse be the light in the Dark Brothas...

[@natlovell122]

I appreciate these videos. I have 3 girls (14,11,5) and my goal is to be their rock, provider, and protector. Now is the time for good men to become great in every aspect of their lives. These videos help!

[@Chong760]

The only thing they ever need from their father is the total submission and faith to his Creator God through the Lord Jesus Christ. From that, all those things will not only make sense, but they will come with genuine love and grace.

[@chrismullin8304]

If you always do the things for them, without allowing them to try and fail. They will learn to be helpless.

[@ryanthompson772]

Same bro 11, 2 and one due in 1 week. Your going to be the best dad you can be brother

[@godseed7984]

I'm a new father. I been a husband for 6 years now. I have discovered that being the head of a family is not lording it over my wife and children. This is a common misconception bandied around by various people. For some it is true. I have discovered that fatherhood and being the head of a family means responsibility. It means I am here to provide and guide my wife and son to a better life. I don't want to fail them. My father was a big bad Marine. Being raised by him was like the first half of the movie full metal jacket. I think he taught me the only way he knew how. Marine Corp pride, semper fi, uh rah uh rah is all he knew. I thank him for giving me striength and backbone, teaching me honor, courage, and justice. It has definitley helped me survive in today's world and given me an edge. Although I think his methods were wrong and there is a better way. I want to pass down the good values to my son. But I don't want to give him the same baggage that I am burdened with.

[@tedhoag2181]

Thank you Ryan. I’m constantly reviewing my performance as a father each day and like you, fail or come up short each and everyday. It kills me inside but I get back up and try harder the next day. For example, my 8 year old son asked me to play catch with him at 8 pm. His bed time is 830 but we just got back from a king weekend trip in which the purpose of the trip was for him. My instant response was “No, it’s time to eat then go to bed.” But then after he went to sleep and all morning today I was kicking myself for not taking that opportunity to get some 1 on 1. I seem to forget that they are young for such a short period of time. I’m certainly not a bad father, dare I say a good one. Bottom line is…I just want ALL my kids to want to hangout with me when they are adults. I pray about this everyday.

[@tikunolam7]

Essentially, I've noticed those that pursue God and aim to live a godly life - automatically become better husbands and fathers and serve their communities better. Pursuing God is the key.

[@MN-ub7gl]

These are awesome! Thanks for spreading the word!

[@TheChuckfuc]

The best advice I can give is to develop a deep emotional connection with your kids. It's easier when they are 5 or under. Because we will fail our kids and lose patience etc. But if your kids truly believe that you care about them. Children will listen to you.

[@nicklawson4390]

Thank you for this video I'm going through a ton on trying to be a father her mother is doing her best to keep her away from me I won't stop

[@chainsawoz2385]

Thank you, I needed some help. I didn't have a father growing up. I had a stepdad who was not very good to me. You have great advice and I appreciate what your doing for fathers such as myself. I'll be watching more of your channel.

[@ronmexico79]

Excellent video, thanks for sharing. Really made me think. I have alot of work to do

[@jerrymodeste5900]

Thank you bro!!. This should be on national television

[@mcfaddenabrahams9017]

Thanks Ryan, explosive exchange brother!

[@Boosie_wc]

Thank you

[@danielbuschbacher3599]

Thank you for the fatherhood videos. I married the woman who birthed both of my little girls. She was already a mother when we met and so I became step dad to a little boy around the same time I became a biological father myself. Your videos help me manage how I interact with my son to make sure he knows that he is as much my child as my girls are. Which is something I struggled with in the beginning. Thanks again!

[@Abdul-Raqeeb15]

Thanks Ryan 👑🦁

[@bosschedda_]

Looking to become the best father ever ❤

[@paulwaweru3403]

Hey guys..First time to listen to this video. Well done Ryan. Well articulated, sincere and honest. I have two boys 7 and 4. I look forward to putting these strategies into practice. Thanks for sharing.

[@brianbachmeier34]

Excellent

[@tunentheculture1773]

Appreciate it

[@cyberjack256]

I just found your channel this morning. I really appreciate this video. Thank you for producing this content.

[@Orderofman]

Glad you're with us!

[@ryanthompson772]

Great to finally see a sensible advice channel for men that believes in true male values such as fatherhood and being a good husband. Immediate subscribe and I will be recommending this to me friends

[@paulisaaksohn9179]

Ryan is like Jocko Willink's younger brother, if he had one;)Love this channel. Thanks and deep respect.

[@andrewrackliff8223]

Do you have a specific episode that you can point to where you discuss reacting versus responding? It's very solid advice overall thank you.

[@elcucuyspooks]

It’s crazy to me this video doesn’t have more views. More of us need to take accountability as fathers and men overall and stop making excuses and being so reactive. I don’t want to look back one day and wish I could’ve been better in certain situations, I just want to be the best father and husband I can be. Great video, thank you.

[@sin_gray8470]

I appreciate this video, I have a wonderful partner that would soon become my wife, I never really had experienced having a dad as my dad left us when I was a kid, that's why I wanted to be ready and be sure to love my partner and our future childs with everything I have, and raise them with love and be a better father for them and a good future husband

[@nicklawson4390]

As I grow I realize my dad is just a man I understand his downfalls. Now that I'm a father I realize I'm not going to do everything right. I'll do my best to be there for myself & child. Review that shit dads

[@06jeepowner]

Review and how I react are the two things I am going to take out of this it was a rough day today thanks

[@dangeles95]

Hey if your dad was great go and take what he did right and build on. Never complacent

[@ramcymendoza2381]

I actually look more like my mom than my dad but this message is gold. I respect Ryan so much for moving forward and continuing his work and life calling through difficult times. He continues to inspire me to seize the moment and start making changes to better our family's lives as well as our own as men in this day. Thank you, Ryan.

[@smitty2033]

I struggle the most (being a father of 3 girls {2 step} and 1 son from a previous marriage) with the mess around the house. Like, goddamn, leave me a walkway (through the mess) to get to the bathroom when I'm home from a 13 hr shift. And then the money in general (that it takes to raise kids and keep a house/car payment) I'm making decent money but (I always feel) like it's never enough. Even tho it is just a bit more than what paying the bills takes.

[@BornEnlightenedNoSell]

I know what i have to do i Will Be the best Father for my family because i love what i grow single , girlfriend,wife,children All in one ❤! În first time i put my self before me and after i We are result what i made ,before is after ,after is before ! You a e in the middle (pilar)

[@bigc5467]

Mad RESPECT brother. This subject does not get the support it deserves.

[@achillessonofsparta6824]

Can you make a podcast for us uncles trying to lead and direct our nephews in a good direction in life, especially when they have deadbeat dad’s

[@effektfootwear]

I appreciate your willingness to help correct course. However as a father I will also say this. It is the responsibility of the parent to raise the child as they see fit or believe will help them become capable adults. Unfortunately one deadbeat aunty of my daughter who has achieved nothing in life, is still suckling the family teeth well into their 40s and has no child of their own trying to tell me how to raise my child. It is now of their fucking business, other than supporting me and my partner and reinforcing our values. I stead she constantly goes behind our back in order to get a few quick wins (sugar, too much screen time etc.) Same goes with the grandparents. As I said, I honour your concern, but it is the role of the mother and father to raise the child, the family is there to respect the parents and help keep the child in line, not overrule and push an alternative. Unfortunately this has been detrimental to our family hierarchy. The best thing you can do is offer advice within the confines of the boundaries your niece/nephew are living in. Otherwise, you will have to adopt the child and take on this mission yourself

[@slmdsdn351]

Hey Ryan your videos have helped me tremendously and I had a question Why do you think masculinity has been under such an intense attack?

[@edusam666]

Because unfortunately walking all over us wins votes and moves money now.

[@anthonyharmon9265]

Satan....one word. He wants to destroy men and the family. Family is the foundation of society, without it there is extreme sin, immorality, sons with no direction, daughters with no self respect and its all chaos, noise, destruction and pain.

[@filipdulak]

Ryan, I'm a big fan of your youtube channel and prepared something especially for you, can i send it to you somewhere?

[@cherylwade264]

This is a good channel for men who want to help to elevate society Dictators,tyrants and warmongers have had too much admiration for too long.

[@Rizzob420]

I’m failing. Miserably. All the excuses I can come up with as to why just won’t cut it. And every time I try harder, I fail harder. I’m turning out like my own father and that’s something I always told myself I would never become. I have a beautiful son and wife who I love very much yet I keep pushing them away and feeling more and more disconnected. They don’t deserve the way I treat them. And no matter how much I keep telling myself to man up and do better, I keep dragging myself, and them, down lower and lower. I told my wife today that she should just leave me so my son doesn’t have to grow up with a dad who does nothing for him. That he would be better off without me in his life because I’m just no good. I’m a POS. I’m a horrible husband, father, son, brother and just a lousy human being. At least that’s my outward appearance. Inside I keep screaming at myself that I am better than this and that I need to do better. I keep begging myself to do better because my son deserves better. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m running out of options and chances. Can somebody please help me so I can give my son the life he deserves?

[@FarhiaFarah-wg5qe]

Familyyyyyy familiessss systems saabiriineeeEEEy patients

[@charlesedwards2348]

Am I missing something? Did Ryan get divorced recently?

[@Rg-bk7nc]

Iron is a weak metal. Did you pick it on purpose or was it just a happy coincidence?

[@johnteutsch612]

Oof the react part I'm bad about.

[@JG-yr9tk]

Move to the future not the past . Some of Ryan's words are too stone age

[@XxMlgBonnie2015xX]

Got a Dog (7)

[@Kylecombes4]

Have you maintained the same level of respect for your ex-wife & taught your kids to act accordingly amidst your divorce? Or did you have to pivot how you taught them?

[@sonnyh9774]

Even though children are to honor their parents, they can respect the office/relationship position while also holding sin accountable or creating boundaries. No one gets a pass on sin, however God encourages us to show mercy as He shows mercy to us. Sometimes God will be firm; sometimes He is gentle; sometimes He steps back and let's us wallow in our consequences and misery. Every situation is different. Most kids won't understand for decades, and by then, we've missed most of their lives.

[@LegacyFarmandHomestead]

You need a pop filter bro.

[@TheBonnieCT]

Maybe not dare marry and I pregnant your daughters friend . Then blame your kids for not giving you a break . I’m not sure how to figure this situation out for his first family. Our 3 children . My girls are hurting . Why do men fall like this ?

[@I.identify.as.a]

Just a bunch of dudes trying to be good men

[@rnt45t1]

no woman wants me, period. Never going to be a father.

[@ReggaeRedeemer]

How do i become a better father when the mother ONLY lets me see my son on HER terms? my son is 1.5 years old so im wondering if i let her kinda take control of visitation and have her time with our son while hes a baby but wondering how long should i let it go on till i persue court. Tha ks much love to all the fathers who are GOOD MEN. Stay strong brothers. Lord knows im trying.

[@erod01]

Show up every chance you get fight for that boy like it’s the last thing you have left. Don’t let anything or anybody stop you I believe you love your son enough to figure it out however you should never give up. That will show him to be the same 👍🏽