4 Things: Dumping a man over a cake, BF and his prankster friends, Pickmeisha, Pest needs a nest

[@Diana734]

Lingerie for a woman "friend"....he is playing in your face. Dump his arrogant ass. Claire should know this is inappropriate and the fact she co-signed this is a red flag.

[@anakroy85]

Probably have slept together previously. Smh

[@joannediaz8978]

​@anakroy85 Yup, that's the "inside" joke, which is on the girlfriend because I'm sure the friend group knows.

[@parklady4233]

Girl, get out now. Any man that says that a girl who is his friend is out of his league, girlfriend needs to go.

[@attitudeproblem6462]

_Especially_ since *he* is making remarks about this woman being “out of his league”.😒😒😒 Pretty soon they’ll BOTH be playing in her face.🙅🏾‍♀️🙅🏾‍♀️🙅🏾‍♀️

[@audreystewart7179]

P ly

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

2nd story, she is a valuable place holder until Claire is ready for him.

[@vayas09]

Most men don't think it's important to listen to a woman, ever. They ignore what we say and don't read what we write. Then they're all 😲 shocked Pikachu when the woman is unhappy and wants to break up.

[@yawnsoften]

Gotta love how OP is good enough to date, but Clair is out of his league...nothing like being 2nd best!

[@rtphotos4691]

Yep, and girl needs to focus on her own growth and leave these non bears alone for a while. Two big red flags, he has "lots of friends," and they "love to pull pranks." She may be naïve but she's mature and simply needs to work on her self esteem.

[@kgs2280]

Yes, he literally told her so when he said that. He’s basically saying that if Claire wanted to date him, he’d dump OP in a hot second and go for it. He’s saying OP is the only girl who will date him, so he’s taking what he can get, even if it’s not what he really wants. Wow, did that not feel like a slap to the face?? Not to mention, to the ego. I’d be so hurt…and mad!

[@sammijo125]

The cake lady is at the gates of hell, getting ready to walk through. He actively ignored what she wanted. If he doesn't mess up like this at work, he did it on purpose. Walk away.

[@annmarieknapp]

Thank you for your comment. I really needed a laugh with all of the doom and gloom of the Project 2025 nightmare. So thank you. And I agree, if the person goes out of their way to give specifics of something important to them and those wishes are disregarded, it's a clear sign to me that the other person in relationship doesn't care or is not making it a priority, which means it can get so much worse. Cake is a minor issue compared to ignoring other needs or wants when relationships are about accountability to the other person. I would consider her ending the relationship a blessing in disguise. And my kid is autistic and profound so when I hear high functioning Autistics using their disability as an excuse for behavior not cool. I also have full blown ADHD that because of medical reasons,I can't medicate for, I have to monitor my behavior to deal with it and I don't make excuses for poor choices. If I make a mistake, I own it. People need to be accountable.

[@katherines144]

He got what HE wanted to eat. And the stupid video game reference "welcome to level 30" is another "I know better than you" dig. Dump. His. @ss.

[@LibertyCairde]

This is that weaponized incompetence at its finest!

[@dharma6481]

Yeah, weaponized incompetence. This is just the start.

[@ThimbleFox350]

Absolutely did it on purpose. If he was confused at all he could have easily asked her again what exactly it was that she wanted just so that he didn’t mess it up. He is trying to condition her to ask for less, expect nothing from him and to love herself less by accepting what she doesn’t want. Leave him.

[@LibertyCairde]

The cake thing is weaponized incompetence at its finest!!!

[@imabosssorta1923]

"My bf is neurodivergent and says it's better if I spell it out what I want than him guessing" *gives him exact instructions on the cake she wants* "oops I guess I messed up." Bsffr.

[@NellyMariaArt]

Nothing funny about buying another woman lingerie. It’s extremely disrespectful, especially after she told him how it made her feel. A man like that will gaslight her into excepting anything

[@healgoth]

Reminds me of the Colleen Ballinger stuff from last summer, “sending panties and a bra to an underage fan is fine/funny since it was NWT” 😵‍💫 do not give these freakazoids the benefit of the doubt, they’re either in denial or gaslighting about what they know is wrong

[@parklady4233]

When women start running at first red flag 🚩, there will be very few relationships. And, that is a good thing!!!

[@TheePrincessBrat]

I think that is going to become the norm, now with so much information at our fingertips. That’s why they’re working overtime to undo all the progress women and society have made

[@kittenkat5244]

​@@TheePrincessBrat Yup and this is why yt vanishes commentz that have certain words , meanwhile yt lets redd pillers post whatever anti womenn hate speech they want unchallenged. But as soon as u address redd pillers what u write keeps vanishing.

[@awg7068]

@@TheePrincessBratolder men are already moan ing about it, lol! I hear it alllll the time!

[@alabaster2163]

Girl with the cake.... Fucking don't walk RUN!!! HE WILL SABATAGE EVERYTHING.... GET OUT NOW!!

[@katherines144]

The guy ruined a milestone she said was important to her. Even though she spelled it out and did all the emotional labor. He doesn't like her. It has nothing to do with neurodivergence. He's emotionally immature and is punishing her for either taking the spotlight or because he thinks his tastes are superior and she just needs to get in line. Sucks she's staying with him but it's her choice

[@kittenkat5244]

​@@katherines144 Dont softball these adult males by calling them immature. This was an intentionally maliciousness action by an adult narcissistic male. Call them out on their narcissistic traits because softballing them gives a false sense that their actions are less harmful. Remember we are talking about adult males who are the #1 perps of deleting womenn.

[@BabalonNuit]

@@katherines144 He didn't give enough of a shit to be arsed to get things right. If he's doing this NOW, before they are married, just wait! If she thinks he's a neurodivergent A-hole NOW...

[@BlackRaven000]

Story 2: She said she wanted to breakup w him so he left her first to one-up her. He was ready to leave her with his backup (likely Claire) and just needed an opportunity. He said Claire "has always been out of his league". Who tf says that about their friends? This was the "prank", to fuel her into a fight and then use it as an excuse to leave. OP got punk'd. When males jump in to defend their male friends and pin it on you, run. He's cheated and they all know. Let's see how chill he is if she bought her male friends tight Calvin Kleins for his birthday and made remarks about how smexy he was.

[@parklady4233]

Birthday cake 🎂 man is starting playing games. He wants to show you that he will give you what he wants to give and how he wants to give it.

[@ky9933]

The comment about "neurodivergent males" is spot-on. I dated a guy who began no-showing our dates (standing me up) and blaming his ADHD for "forgetting" 🙄🙄🙄 We were played a certain video game together for about a year and I saw that he never once forgot about a team meet-up in the game. I told him, it's clear you care more about a video game than me, this has nothing to do with your ADHD, you're trash, goodbye" and he got upset 🤣🤣

[@margaretanderson6924]

🎂 IMO, doesn't rise to breakup level, but he needs probation to demonstrate if he *cares enough* to not let her down when it matters to HER. Postpone wedding if possible.

[@Br0nto5aurus]

The thing about ADHD (and neurotypicals, but emphasized with ADHD) is that it's much easier to forget about things you don't care about or are uninterested in. It's a revealing condition.

[@thepoliticalcat]

@@Br0nto5aurus I've never been diagnosed, but since I was a little child, I very quickly forget about anything I'm not truly fascinated by. I hate it, but my brain literally will not commit to memory any information about certain things, whereas I can literally quote chapter and verse when it's something I love.

[@awg7068]

@@Br0nto5aurus100%. I’m neurotic-spicy, and I never forget things for the people I care about.

[@emjohnson7207]

#2 Claire gaslighting her and boyfriend flirting in her face. Dump the boyfriend and say you're too conservative for him. Bet he and Claire start dating.

[@rtphotos4691]

They already were, no matter what he claims.

[@mrttamara]

When a man has a woman friend, she is not interested in him but he is secretly interested in her. He tried it with his girlfriend. He wants that other woman.

[@attitudeproblem6462]

And he also wanted the power over the girlfriend b/c she initially wanted to break up but he talked her out of it only to turn around and break up w/ her like he has the upper hand.😒😒😒

[@hmmmbrilee]

​@@attitudeproblem6462Yep I noticed that too. I can't stand the "you didn't dump me, I'm in control here and I dumped you" sort of mentality.

[@kgs2280]

Immature as all hell. “You can’t fire me ‘cause I quit” thinking mentality.

[@thepoliticalcat]

There was a time when I didn't know that. I was "friends" with all of my exes. I didn't realize that they were not my friends.

[@marissaclayton4889]

It’s not just about a cake . It’s deeper. He is testing the boundaries to determine what level of b.s he can introduce into the marriage . The best part is that he will keep increasing the dosages if she lets this slide. She has to nip it in the bud . The thought (or lack thereof) that went into not caring about written specific instructions about a cake is concerning . His next cake will be childcare if they decide to have children.

[@NaiSays]

The pickmeisha is hilarious. Men treat their dogs with that much care. Like I’ve seen men with their dog in the front seat and their girl in the back. 🙄

[@TheePrincessBrat]

They act like someone’s holding these men at gun point and demanding they pay all their bills. Men who choose to be providers, usually take pride in doing so. It would be embarrassing for their woman to be taking care of them in that way (Not referring to one’s who do it for financially abusive reasons)

[@AIBot929]

The real gag is men are the ones who say they are providers and then the brokies get mad when asked to provide. If you don't want to provide financially then you need to have other qualities and they typically don't.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@AIBot929 exactly. All these relationship norms come from men

[@1108-g1q]

Since women have started turning the "what do you bring to the table" question to them, most of them have quickly realised that they had to stop leading by saying that they were a provider. Especially since that is all some of them could come up with while getting upset that they were seen as "just a provider". That's where the recent "protector" has been added.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@1108-g1q but most are really neither… they take instead of providing and harm instead of protecting. They used to act like them being a provider was contingent on women being “feminine and submissive”. Now these femininity coaches have popped up, teaching women how to be women 🙄, and men still aren’t providing lol

[@unicorn73212]

​​@@1108-g1qnot only that but its something to do with there ego too they much rather look at what the wife did wrong instead of accepting that there the one's choosing these women and then if you confront them on what they did wrong they tell you that you should have choose better instead of just taking accountability for there part in messing up the relationship Even if they approached you first they probably thought they could go 50/50 with a woman and still ve treated like a man. That's not how this works because the kind of plans they keep implementing would require them to pay all the bills not just a few or them. So they better be greatful that all these women are opting out and voting blue because we're actually fighting to protect there freedoms too. With a patriarchy system they would be forced to work and pay all there families bills if they wanted to survive.

[@bcottony]

#1 As a neurodivergent, I feel extremely comfortable saying that we are better at detail-oriented tasks than everyone else. Not worse, better the only thing is that we need to feel motivated to do it. Are we going to forget our mother-in-law's birthday? Probably but a significant other's favorite cake flavor/style/theme....? No. This is a very good example of if he wanted to he would. And I guarantee you if you let this slide it would have gotten worse. He's trying to see how low he can go, testing for minimal effort. This was a passive aggressive Way of letting you know that he thought your request was too much for HIS assigned value of you.

[@michelledavidson1781]

Nurse should turn WiFi off, keep no food in the house, sleep at a hotel. Eventually when he's getting nothing, he'll leave. They only stay for as long as it's beneficial.

[@RayGlatt]

Evict him. Then call the police. What is wrong with you?

[@KenniseL]

Exactly, buy food and only cook for yourself, or eat out. Most of all, she needs to stop giving him money, period. Like you said, he will leave eventually.

[@mobranch3678]

She should pack his stuff when he goes out and put it outside. She should have the locks change and give management a key.

[@Harlem-ub3tn]

Make a fake eviction notice.

[@Harlem-ub3tn]

Please be careful. Too many of us leaving this earth. You know these MFers get mad when they know their time is up

[@risitascositas1699]

Story #1: When presented with detailed written instructions for what she wanted & he intentionally failed twice means he doesn't care about her enough to do it the way she asked. Men who truly love & value their woman's feelings take pride in giving her exactly what she asked for and maybe when extra things.

[@malindaallen718]

Beyond "doesn't care"; it's deliberate and malicious. It's also testing her limits to see how much sh*t she will swallow.

[@ACollectorNotAHoarder]

So basically, claiming to be "neurodivergent" is an easy justification to be careless, indifferent, and lazy. Got it.

[@jsChelimo]

So many men use neurodivergence as an excuse to be mean that it's almost becoming a red flag

[@KompassOhneNadel]

As an autistic woman: I ll care about the things I care about. If I mess up like that dude it means I don’t care. That this how you like.

[@Trinitytruth7]

Women who allow men to use their resources after only 8 months of dating need to speak with a therapist because there is clearly a self-esteem and savior complex going on. I hope this woman gets the backbone she needs.

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

She has bpd.

[@aprilfox9205]

Something else I noticed, in the last few days of browsing Reddit is that 3 stories were very similar. Nurses, I think with the way they try to nurture people seem more vulnerable to abuse. I've noticed so many more stories of nurses lately. Maybe it's a coincidence tho ???

[@jessitabonita]

@@aprilfox9205My mom was a nurse and met my dad while he worked as a cook in the hospital cafeteria. She's always been the breadwinner and tried everything to push him to work his way up to a chef position at a high end restaurant but his anger issues always get him fired from low-level jobs like Walmart, which of course the instability constantly stressed her out. 🤦🏻‍♀️ His eldest brother (my uncle) is an ophthalmologist, and another brother is a retired U.S. army sergeant, so not sure what went wrong or if he has a personality disorder. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know my mom wishes she had found a doctor to marry instead, but she had a sad childhood and ended up a Barb-the-builder pick-me. 😔 They're not together anymore and I have low to no contact with both, because I moved states away to be away from their chaos.

[@rapture-citizen6949]

She has borderline personality disorder.

[@levelupgoddess9289]

Facts. Because that’s the ONLY explanation.

[@takeishaarmstead4686]

The prankster boyfriend is trash! I would of broke up with him for constantly talking about how beautiful she is. You need to gon and be with her then!

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

girl him and claire wouldve had me effed up from the beginning😂😂

[@kgs2280]

@@BlackGirlLovesAnime6I wouldn’t be effed up, I’d be gone!

[@thoughtsofelizabeth]

The pickmesha saying that women are too hard on men isn't a woman. It's a man. I don't know if that's the case but i think it's a good hypothesis

[@starlingswallow]

PSA!!! You do not need someone's PERMISSION to break up with them!!!!! The fact this last lady is saying her bf tells her they aren't breaking up? Ummmmm...._Excuse me??_ Nah, that is not gonna fly! It sounds like he's only lived there for less than 8 months, she needs to check to see if he needs to be formally evicted and if so, get going on the paperwork!!!

[@UnexpectedSpanishInquisition]

After 30 days, in most states, formal evictions are required

[@tiredmeekala]

I saw that lingerie story on reddit. Yeah I fully believe OP was backup girlfriend like all others he may have been with. He told her to her face thag Claire was the most beautiful woman and she was out of league. The lingerie was his way of trying to flirt with her. And I bet it was because Claire is one of those women who don't want a specific man but don't want other women to have just in case she needs him as backup. She probably showered him with attention since he got together with OP and he took that as his chance to flirt. Of course, he had to gaslight OP because it also wouldn't look good to be flirting with another woman while he's in a relationship. Claire just didn't expect her antics to go overboard. She needed to exert her importance over OP in showing OP she had this man in the palm of her hand but not too much because she'll have to deal with his undivided attention if OP wereto walk away

[@rtphotos4691]

Maybe. But I don't think it's that deep. I think he and claire are already a couple and their friends all thought it was funny to make the OP look a fool. Remember that his friend called the OP to make a dig about "a friend who looks like Claire." They were all laughing behind the OP's back. It's the classic high school mentality of the small town "cool kids" who have nothing better to do than pull pranks on each other, and one of them happened to find the mature, albeit naïve, OP to try to play house with because it's expected of him. They're all immature and the ex and Claire simply have to make their relationship public. Old as the hills: non bear wants the one out of his league but "settles" for whichever poor sap will put up with him.

[@LetsTalkAboutItWithMara]

Lingerie story sounds like triangulation and he likes his BF

[@vrichards4363]

Future swingers in the making.

[@cocoace7587]

Pest story : Since it's not her house . The landlord should be able to kick him out . Or pretend to be kicked out until he leaves . Tell him the rent is about to double , so if he can't pay half ,y'all have to leave . 😢 Typical , almost 50 yr old man couch surfing. 🛋 😡

[@KenniseL]

Right! Get a whole fake eviction notice put up

[@Hebe-ek1ul]

Cake story - Run, don't walk. The lady asked for EXACTLY what she wanted. All he had to do was give these instructions to the baker. His weaponised incompetence will only escalate. Life is too short to live a miserable life in the name of companionship or marriage.

[@boldenmywords]

Cake guy- So, the bf doesn't read minds or messages. I'm struggling to see reasons to stay. Prankster girl- He has a crush & probably fantasies about his female friend. She should've told her bf that she is also out of his league & bounced.

[@RoseThePhoenix]

I've grown to hate the word "overreacting" so much. Maybe there are actual examples of it, but it's gotten to the point where it seems like ANY reaction is an "over" reaction. I'm so over it.

[@jsChelimo]

Women usually aren't overreacting

[@parklady4233]

I wish I had broken up with the narcissist when he treated me bad on every birthdays I ever had. Now, his masks has fallen completely off and he seems like a monster.

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

I wouldn't have even acknowledged his birthday since he treated me like crap on mine.

[@Glowing-zr6vg]

Yep. I used to treat my narcissist like a king every bday. Until I realized he consistently did the bare minimum for my bday and would start a fight. One year I told him no more exchanging gifts since it’s so hard for him to match my effort. He was LIVID because he knew he was getting over and shortchanging me intentionally. So glad I left his azz just wish I’d done it sooner.

[@malindaallen718]

Not too late to leave him.

[@AeriaGl0ris]

1- The cake sounds like the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. 2- Looks like the ex did OP a favor by showing who he really is. Same for Claire and Kyle. OP is now free to move on to better things. 3-at this point I just think of that Miley Cyrus song, "I can love me better than you can!" Why outsource to a loser bro when you can treat yourself better than he can? 4- Ewwwww, burrowed into...makes him sound like a bloodworm or maybe a tick. Do what it takes to get rid of him, even if that means moving to a new place without warning.

[@Zzz-ff1np]

The lingerie thing is funny. Like if it's really about some under wear and color red fiasco in college, red shorts, crop top and a lingerie gift card would work just as well. Why d o you know your best friend's current lingerie sizes anyway? lol and his friends?! she dodged so many bullets.

[@ThimbleFox350]

Why is he still thinking about her lingerie four years later? And unashamed to be so obsessed with his “friend”? Is there not any other funny inside joke between them that does not involve her in her underwear?

[@vilee1877]

When excuses outweigh effort, I lose interest.

[@osimiri7111]

#1 My baby sis (who like myself is prolly ND) is 14. This past year for Christmas she picked out for the first time all the Christmas presents she wanted to give everyone in our family by herself. She got me a necklace and matching earrings that are the constellation of Gemini, because she knows that I’m a Gemini and an astrologer. She also got me a couple crystals. She is a child, but she bought me very lovely gifts, because she knows me well, and she knows what I like. Having ADHD or autism does not impact empathy. Myself and my sister are very good gift givers, because we emotionally invest in people we care about! People saying that the reason why they suck at giving presents is because they have ADHD or autism are definitely lying? All of the people I know who are fellow NDs are kind and empathetic people. Lack of empathy has nothing to do with Neurodivergence. I say all this to say, a person who loves you will remember important things and put effort into doing nice things for you when it matters. I would never date a person who cannot give me gifts at least as well as my baby sister 😂. That’s for damn sure. I don’t know if I personally would dump the man in the story automatically, but I certainly wouldn’t rush into getting married to a person who can’t follow written instructions. Maybe she should wait a couple months and see if this is a pattern

[@starlingswallow]

A real partner will actually CARE about what he does and how it makes his partner feel. This was a great way to vet him, set a boundary regarding that lingerie and see how he responds~ and he responded horribly! 🚩🚩🚩🚩 He took the trash out FOR you! 💗

[@Dangerous_Peace]

I was just commenting about how you'll hear other women echoing sentiments such as "you cant expect a man to give you ,___ if you don't ___". Girl, you don't expect that...i support having the same audacity as a man lol no matter what.

[@jsChelimo]

Women are always trying to be 'fair' when the world is not fair to us. Audacity goes a long way

[@continuousself-improvement1879]

S1: oh girl, he should've stayed dumped.

[@hmmmbrilee]

Ah, I remember when I turned thirty and I asked my ex for a specific type of cake. He already knew it was my favorite from previous occasions, and I specifically requested it for this birthday. And yet, when he showed up *late* to my place that evening he had a totally different flavor of cake, because he thought it sounded good and I should try something new. Great times. 👍👍

[@BlackRaven000]

That sucks! 🫂 My parents (mostly dad tho) do this all the time and I now hate birthdays.

[@Holisticallycarol]

Claire said, you will learn, f that. I'm not learning to expect more of this crap. bye bf. NTA

[@nupy83]

This reminds me of my husband when he cooks... He is allowed to do two things, either he cooks the programed food how he thinks it's best, or if he asks me any direction on how to do it, he is not allowed to get it wrong. He has to lift the mental burden from me or cook it as I specifically say. He understands now, but it took so many arguments... He just is not allowed to put any burden on me if he is not going to properly listen to the instructions.

[@Vanessa-ii7cc]

I don't feel she's overeacting. The 'just a cake' was probably the drop on an already filled cup.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

I have been the “Claire” in many situations-minus the being complicit part-and it is so uncomfortable. The guy will act super friendly, bordering on flirty, towards me. Sometimes this even happens right in their GF’s face! They will offer to do things for me that they won’t for their GF, make certain comparisons. Men like that shouldn’t be trusted. Don’t take their attention as a compliment, because they don’t have any more respect for you than they do her, or they wouldn’t be acting that way. It doesn’t change or get better. And they will cheat given the opportunity. Many women have at least 1 ex, who would drop their current partner in a heartbeat, if they offered them a second chance. I would say idk how men can treat women like placeholders, but then again a lot of men don’t even see women as human or deserving of empathy.

[@rtphotos4691]

Yep, I was also in that place and I called him out right in front of his gf. I said, "don't do that," gave him a dirty look then left their presence. This was after it happened twice in my younger days and I saw the patterns of some of them. Both times, they tried to make comments about me in an attempt to make their gf "jealous" and I didn't appreciate being used as a prop in their sick games.

[@msnikkiwunderful]

Regarding the pickmeishas.....I really don't understand why they give a f..... For example I am in a ladies facebook group and a lady in there was asking for recommendations for 5 star restaurants as she had a date and the man wanted to take her to one. Here comes the pickmeisha's telling this young lady she should get coffee and how dare her get anything else. Its really weird you would think they would be happy more men for them. If a woman has set certain standards for herself who am I to disagree with her?

[@cassidyhector9958]

When a man goes out of his way to make his partner unhappy on her bday or a day that’s specially FOR her, it always gives “I’m too weak of a ‘man’ & my ego is too fragile to not feel threatened by my woman being happy on a day that’s all about her” 😂 If it was an accident then why did he ask her what filling it was BEFORE cutting into it if he thought he’d gotten it right? Asking AFTER picking up the cake but before cutting it gives him away. Not to mention he had a phone note he had to refer back to when placing the order.

[@Lysistrata2025]

#1 is not necessarily a horrible person, but he is not a good partner to have children with or run a household together. If the idea is to just LAT and go on dates that can work, but the word fiance typically refers to wanting more. #2 Good riddance to prankster, she dodged one #3 Do you Pickmeisha, leave us alone #4 Get the police involved.

[@kittenkat5244]

#1 is a narcisist adult male testing her boundaries to see what she will put up with. If he has medical problems it is his responsibility to seek help and not burden his partner with problems that come from it. This is a part of the unpaid labor womenn have had to deal with. His partner is not a doctor or his nurse or his momma. He is an adult male. If he can work a job, use a cell phone, pay bills, drive a car, etc then he can most certainly give the instructions she wrote to the person taking the orders at the bakery.

[@Anon06428]

Story 3 i can sorta relate sadly as a former foster youth … she likely doesn’t know better. I had a deadbeat ex who literally lives off women, I had my own place at age 21 and this dude moved in with me without my permission and I learned to never allow that again obviously. He destroyed my place when he got “mad”. King baby energy. Destroyed things he didn’t pay for. I’m 31 now but creep dude would bring his stuff little by little and stay overnight and not leave it’s gross

[@AndyyWithAY]

Coming to Reddit is a cry for help. Something is seriously wrong in your relationship to come here. That's why the answer is almost always breakup. He had multiple chances to get the cake right. This man does not listen to you. Get rid of this clown now, better to break up than get divorced. I'm neurodivergent as are many women in this space and we don't use it as a shield! She got 💩 advice. Yes, just show it to the baker! SHE would've done it right

[@mollyrosebranch]

I'm autistic and giving clear directions for a cake would be the best thing and super appreciated. the man may have a different neurodivergence, but generally i find that ND is (incorrectly) used as a synonym for autistic.

[@ccannon1]

Or ADHD

[@desiree2086]

Yess I have both autism and adhd, I’m sure I wouldn’t have messed it up. The neurodivergency was used as a coverup, it was not the reason.

[@darncash2056]

I have ADHD but isn't Autism on a spectrum? I say this because I wonder what else her boyfriend struggles with. How bad is his executive dysfunction and does he get burned out easily? It doesn't matter why he did it but is this something that she would want to deal with for 40 years. We all have different levels of tolerance.

[@kittenkat5244]

Stop softballing these adult males. They are responsible for their actions and they are responsible for seeking treatment for their problems. Womenn have the same types of medical/mental issues yet no one makes excuses for womenn. Stop acting like mommas to these grown narcissistic males. They make up enough excuses for themselves, they don't need yall pickmeshas to do it for them.

[@Iquey]

Nah I'm with you. I'm not making an excuse for this guy. A clear instruction and theme for the cake is like a heavenly mandate blessing instead of a vague "oh whatever you think is a sweet idea" cake instructions.

[@kaydubya6347]

The girl hasn't been mean to him BECAUSE SHE'S NOT INTIMIDATED BY HER. 😂😂😂 Lots of women LIKE BEING AROUND MEN WHO WANT THEM , AROUND THEIR LESS ATTRACTIVE/EXCITING/INTERESTING mates. ESPECIALLY as a confidence booster, when the ones she really wants, are ignoring/ dog-walking her

[@elizabethscrimgeour6608]

Story #2: His saying Claire is "out of his league" is a big red flag and a subtle insult to the OP.

[@Sleipnirseight]

Sh*t that insult isn't subtle at all! 😂

[@malindaallen718]

Not so subtle. Blatant. Obvious. Wake up, girl.

[@MoonBunny69]

18:29 He really wants Claire but she doesn't want him. You're a placeholder op

[@sonja4164]

Exactly! 💯

[@smlorrin]

How weird that the boyfriend said *to his girlfriend* that Claire was out of his league. He'd be with Claire if she'd have him, which means that he was settling for his current girlfriend. I think that the girlfriend sensed this but hadn't consciously realized it. Yes, she dodged a bullet. The girlfriend would have only had her boyfriend until Claire decided that she wanted him.

[@queenreg7]

If he ever leaves the house change the locks.

[@bcottony]

#2 He already made it clear that the only reason that he had a girlfriend was because his female friend is out of his league, And Superior to you in every way. She enjoys their dynamic, he enjoys their dynamic. You're the outlier so you have to go. They're probably enjoying some version of "will they"/ "won't they" IRL which is there right.... until they involve other people. I have noticed a dynamic in which some men chase wallflowers even though that's not what they want because the woman they do want doesn't want them. He can't sleep with his female friend so that's where you come in. But you will always be measured by her greatness. Leave the happy couple alone.

[@ragingrn8342]

If it's in the budget, I think the girlfriend of the prankster should send each of the Prankster's male friends a nice set of red see-through boxers.

[@louhortonsculpture]

21:13 😮 comparing looking for a partner to unrealistic job listings is perfect. We put up with too much at work too!

[@KCtheSUNSHINE]

Wellllllll, my ex wanted me to look like J. Lo. I said my low salary would not allow that but if he wanted to pay for a team of 7 people to work on me, I would go to the appointments for hair coloring, cutting, styling, eyebrow person, personal trainer, nutritionist, etc. I saw it on a t.v. interview and showed him. He was not pleased. Funny how after we got divorced, my hair & nails started growing, I lost weight without trying, and people said they saw my light-heartedness coming back. No team of people needed. Just needed to get out and did. Took 5 years before i started dating again and love my boyfriend.

[@nbucwa6621]

What times are we living in that asking for a cake for your birthday is seen as too high maintenance? It's not like she asked for a wedding cake or that he had to make the the cake himself? He literally just had to go to any cake shop and show them the exact note she gave him and he would have earned enough points for the next ten years for basically doing the bare minimum. Hell my local grocery store will basically bake you a cake and write a specific message on it for under ten bucks. I don't understand how someone messes up so bad unless they really don't care.

[@XtineJohnes]

All this talk about cake is making me hungry LOL

[@cocoace7587]

Claire knows that her friend wants her & will do anything for HER . Claire enjoys having a " lil side kick" who does anything for her . Remember the story last week ? The husband found a younger girl , bff at work ? The wife ended up leaving . But , the young girl stated she would still be HIS friend . Everyone was getting something out of the relationship except the wife . NEWS FLASH : A husband isn't supposed to find a female bff at work . 🙄 # that's called attraction # gateway to cheating 😡

[@Asia-yt3cg]

2nd story He doesn't want you to break up with him because Clair isn't interested in him romantically. If Clair ever changes her mind, he will dump you. 3rd story Either the author of the post is a man, or she is male centered. Most men don't believe in "live and let live" philosophy 😂 Last story Parasites cannot survive and thrive away from the host. It is going to be really difficult getting rid of dude😢

[@jodismith6948]

1- she is not overreacting. He saw the note and didn't follow through. She is not the problem, so trust yourself. Dumping him is the right thing to do.

[@ThimbleFox350]

Story number 2 is a terrible person and I am so glad that she is not with him. Had to meet up with her after the breakup just to insult her further. Claire deserves him.

[@BlackRaven000]

Story 1: Mr. Man is probably really upset about several things: She's 30 and happy about it. He wanted her to hit some wall ig. Her 30th is a big deal to her. Of course he was going to mess it up. Being ND has nothing to do with it. Why are we seeing the same destructive patterns with neurotypical XYs then? I'm ND and that has never stopped me from having the ability to celebrate someone else's special day. It's literally just once a year. How hard is it to not mess things up? Calling her to ask which filling she wanted and letting her know about the screwup in advance was smart. She wouldn't suddenly snap when he reached home. He waited a month for her to ask if he was going to make it up. If she hadn't pressed, he would've just sat and done nada. Maybe the "30, flirty and thriving" thing annoyed him further. How dare the words flirty and thriving be on her cake? I also wonder if he got a cheaper filling for the cake, maybe one he liked?

[@malindaallen718]

Probably.

[@amberinthemist7912]

In story two it's not just lingerie. It's calling his "bff" sexy and out of his legue. They are clearly both sickos who can only be happy together if they are cheating on someone.

[@rtphotos4691]

He's very likely NPD and "Claire" and his friend who called the OP after the break up are flying monkeys.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

Story #1: He showed her how he really felt about her. She spelled everything out and he still got it wrong, and she gave him a chance to fix it and he still got it wrong. Story #2: NTA. I don’t need to explain why. Story #3: Some of people’s requirements are so unrealistic that it’s hilarious. That said, unless you’re looking to date women, why should you care what another woman wants? Story #4: Another great cautionary tale on the hobosexual. Also, if you’re LEASING a property, and if there is an adult is living with you that’s NOT on the lease, you can technically get evicted for violating the lease.

[@leehalloway8787]

Neurodivergent people can be very good at getting what you ask for and can give very thoughtful gifts. There is sometimes a large gap in how neurodivergent men and women act.

[@BlackRaven000]

I've seen this too. ND men can be monstrous. Wouldn't recommend a ND man to anyone.

[@Sleipnirseight]

Yes, and that gap has to do with socialization due to stereotyped expectations of each gender. It's the same reason it's much harder for women and girls to get their autism or ADHD diagnosed. From birth we are treated with strict expectations that we are well behaved and "lady like", which causes girls to start masking their symptoms very early. Meanwhile, boys are treated with a "boys will be boys" attitude from infancy. They are allowed to be boisterous, disruptive and aloof, and don't have to mask nearly as much as we do because they are free to act more naturally. Now I'm not saying males should be forced to mask - nobody should, at least not to the exhausting extent that women are - but it explains why there are such stark differences between the symptoms seen in men vs women. It also lays bare the moral failings of our mis'ogynis'tic culture.

[@KA-kv1kq]

2. It sounds like the guy wants Claire, he's settled for her but he's still hopefully prodding to see if he can " upgrade ". Claire isn't interested but will keep him on the hook cause she likes the attention and back up plan he provides. It also kinda sounds like she enjoys having power over another woman's man. They are all lying to each other. And using that poor girl to biost their egos. Men cannot be friends with attractive and/or sexually available women. Eventually one party has a go. We need to be comfortable talking about toxic women too. We've all known at least one. Hopefully OP realises that she has done one heck of Neo impression dodging all those bullets.

[@kittenkat5244]

🎯🎯🎯

[@AnRo-ik3gj]

💯

[@hmmmbrilee]

Yep, this was my interpretation exactly

[@chanson8508]

As someone not in my 20s, this was soooo #obvie to me, do I hope someone left this kinda commer for her on reddit so she can learn the ways of shiesty folks who use you for ego boosts 😢

[@Sunny-tc3ul]

Claire must be single because why would he give her lingerie for a prank? If Claire had a boyfriend that wouldn’t slide with another man and a woman shouldn’t let that slide. I never had a guy friend to buy me lingerie. I had a guy friend to buy me perfume and a purse, but not lingerie.

[@clownetto981]

I'm autistic and i am great at gifts. It's because they don't care. He got the cake becsuse it was cheaper

[@rtphotos4691]

Or because it was what he wanted. The clue is what was written on the cake "you made it to level 30" which is a gaming reference. I guarantee he's into video games.

[@clownetto981]

@@rtphotos4691 definitely

[@MIAKIM-d3j]

When you really want to get away, you will take steps. Im a nurse too...and I know we make decent money..take ine thrid of your paycheck and put it as a deposit on a new aprtment, get a PO box and have your mail forward there, take your next paycheck and pay for first months rent on the new place..call your landlord and tell them you have to brak the lease as you are in danger from your partner,,dont tell your partner anything..then bounce...ask me how I know

[@sakeenahevans6875]

If his boss asked for a specific cake for work he would have gotten it right.

[@leeroyjenkins05]

That pest really thought he got a nurse and a purse. Women in health care really need to watch out because these men know their targets well

[@videofan1010]

I'm not going to beg anyone multiple times to do something. If you get it wrong, I'll just do it myself 🥰. "Miss Independent."

[@dharma6481]

He wants her to do it herself and stop expecting him to do ANYTHING. He’s just starting his weaponized incompetence.

[@starsinger5935]

And if I find myself doing everything on my own I’m leaving no arguments or questions. Just dipping. I do too much work with you I’m out.

[@UnexpectedSpanishInquisition]

That’s precisely the goal of weaponized incompetence: so you’ll just do everything yourself. Enjoy that.

[@videofan1010]

@@UnexpectedSpanishInquisition You can just be single love. Who said I was doing things by myself in a relationship, lol?

[@ejiroghene20]

Did women say that we wouldn’t do anything in return? Where in that statement is it implied that women wouldn’t reciprocate that and plus men assume when they give women stuff, the women will have their kids and cook, clean and more for him for life so this is the bare minimum. Men and pick me’s are just mad that men don’t have money so you demonise women who can support themslves for wnating a man to take over those financial drains because he’s the one who wants her to maintain them. He wants her to look pretty, he needs to pay for the the pretty stuff then

[@mamat1213]

I got a pest out of my home by putting in 30 day notice, letting them know I have to move, and getting a new place without them. I’m team TEA but need coffee sometimes 😍

[@BurbNBougie]

That is awesome! How did the pest take it? What did they do?

[@jaeshasway]

She’s marrying a child man. She said multiple times that they have had problems before. We honestly need to seriously consider these issues when making our decision for a life partner. Too many decide to let things go thinking it won’t happen again and years later nothing has changed except that they’re married with children. I have ADHD and know how to follow instructions. I have kept jobs for many years, 19 being my longest. I understand that neurodivergence is on a spectrum but too many use it as an excuse for full on incompetence. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

If she bought a male 'friend' a pack if speedos, he would spazz out. Stop it!

[@belledear54]

So why was he so insistent on telling her the filling when she obviously already knew or if it's a surprise wouldn't he want the filling to be a surprise why would he keep telling her over and over. Then try to see her reaction to it being the wrong filling. Maybe he's testing to see what he can get away with then slowly he'll continue to keep doing it since she has gone back to him now and he'll only continue to get worse. This is what men do to push your boundaries and complimenting her to his gf and saying she's out of his league so if she wasn't he'd be with her he just can't get her. And women also lie to other women to protect the man. He's put down her feelings and probably trying to get her to accept more. She needs to leave him.

[@strykmike]

The Claire story. Notice how he called her to meet up, scolded her, and broke up with her after she broke up with him. Now she feels bad and self-esteem affected. He needed the last word, make her feel bad, and spread misinformation about her to friends and family. We all know what this is. Classic Narc.

[@Jujubean9795]

The last lady needs to move. Wait until that lease is up and move out when he’s away. Hell, she can arrange for him to be away for the weekend and move. Don’t tell him where she’s going just go. It would be better to change jobs too so he can’t follow her home. She is supporting him and he will NOT leave without a fight. She needs to MOVE!!

[@Lilytigers]

Yup !! And Start documenting all arguments text and fights .

[@emjohnson7207]

She should go gated. He may give up then.

[@chiobabe2180]

The nurse needs to just start looking for another place behind his back .. stop buying groceries & stop paying the bills. Slowly put your important stuff in storage/your mom’s house & when you get the new lease leave a dear John letter , block & ghost ! As a nurse you’ll be in a new place in a hot second. This could turn dangerous. Move in silence!

[@malindaallen718]

You can't just stop paying bills or skip the rent if they are in your name.

[@jojoone1099]

The cake thing is such a red flag. Who knows why he didn't care enough about her to buy her the birthday cake she asked for. He will disappoint her (and their potential children) for as long as they stay together.

[@leeroyjenkins05]

The cake is weaponized incompetence and learned helplessness. Like a child that can't follow simple instructions even if you dumb it down for them.

[@BabalonNuit]

It's also "I don't give enough of a shit to be bothered to get it right" energy. And they aren't even married yet! If she thinks he will "change" after they get married, boy has she another think coming! He's letting her know in the HERE and NOW what sort of treatment she can expect from him after marriage!

[@maryambrown8146]

How do you explain why he didn't get the cake the 1st time? How is that a mistake when she sent details to him?

[@bcottony]

#4 ma'am, being in a relationship with you IS LITERALLY HIS JOB. IT'S HOW HE GETS THE BILLS PAID AND KEEPS THE ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. If you stop providing him with any resources he'll move on

[@MsAubrey]

I learned a long time ago that if you have no expectations, you can’t be disappointed, but can still be surprised.

[@-talwer]

I want to know when Claire is going to understand that her relationship with both Kyle and her boyfriend is going to blow up in her face. I can handle being considered attractive by my male friends, but for them to casually talk about my face and body like that in order to make another girl jealous I’d be disgusted, but even that isn’t a strong enough word. I think she surrounded by men who only want to be with her and she can’t even acknowledge and recognize how inappropriate that is. Maybe she’s a pick me. I also want to disclaim that i’m not blaming Claire for the actions of the ex or of Kyle, but I have so little faith in men I have nothing to say about their actions 💀

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Nah Claire knows. She gets an ego boost out of being surrounded by guys who are begging to be with her. She’s a mean girl

[@ThimbleFox350]

If I had a male friend in a relationship and he kept taking about how attractive I am, I would distance myself immediately and probably stop seeing him altogether besides in large group settings. If the conversation continued in that way I would have a serious talk about how I’m not comfortable with it and how it is disrespecting his gf. Claire is quite possibly a narcissistic woman who gets supply off of these XYs but is not attracted to them.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

She has really low standards. My husband pays for everything except my personal things and what I want for myself

[@elietahari7290]

Cake lady's fiancé is already grooming her for weaponized incompetence. If she spelled it out then there was no reason to not get exactly what she asked for. Mr. Lingerie man is full of crap as if his " sexy bestie" they both were gaslighting her cause he knows damn well if her male friend sneaked around their house and left sexy underwear in her bedroom for her under the guise of a prank he would NOT go for it and in fact probably would've accused her of improprieties with said friend. I also dont like how he made it a point to call ole girl sexy and say she was out of his league. Umm tell that girl she's a placeholder and stop wasting her time. He's cool with being ole girls best friend cause he's hoping to one day get promoted to being her man. #Team Coffee&Tea

[@levelupgoddess9289]

1st story: He didn’t care and it showed. Males are so logical but can’t get a simple cake right. Uhh no. He knew what he was doing. If it was the other way around, he would have expected her to do it right. The fact that ppl think she’s over exaggerating over a cake. Umm cheating isn’t the only thing that should end a relationship. U can have ur boundaries and leave at the first time ppl cross those boundaries. Can u imagine her going to deliver a baby and him can’t even following simple instructions. Yikes 2nd story: Those prankster men are a HELL NO. Nope. End it. And the fact that he is manipulating u on top of that. Girl run. Ur mind is telling u to run. That’s why we women get into so much trouble because we DONT follow our instincts. Last story: HE WONT let U end things? Girl what😂😂😂😂😂 PS I’m more of a tea person.

[@exjehooberdubexpiobeezleeb6269]

Just want to say I love the palate cleansers. Otherwise these videos would be too depressing, lol..

[@BurbNBougie]

I totally agree!

[@stormyskyz7881]

Number 1 & 2 need to leave.

[@lynnp456]

GO DATE CLAIR THEN smh Those two pranksters are made for each other ,yikes ..prank people are annoying 💯

[@TheePrincessBrat]

If she wants to evict him, I would make sure the police are present and get a protective order. Idk how she even feels safe around him at this point! A man significantly older than her, who’s manipulative and controlling, and refusing to leave HER home? He sounds dangerous. What will be his plan b, when using her mental health against her stops working? He does not want to be homeless at 46 and it’s harder to couch surf at that age than if he were much younger. I would also be mindful of baby trapping.

[@barbarablink5951]

Why do people always give excuses for men’s behavior?

[@alleycatalog]

Coffee in the morning, green tea in the evening