4 Types of Coffee Drinkers

Which one are you?? ☕️
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[@BeardedHeroThe]

It bothers me slightly that when you get to the snob that you use a standard blade grinder for the beans instead of a burr grinder. DID YOU THINK ACTUAL SNOBS WOULDN'T NOTICE?

[@EliteRocketBear]

Not even a blade grinder. Just a straight up nutriblender.

[@JamesThomas-dn6hz]

I think he just didn't realize how snobby a coffee snob actually is! These comments have opened my eyes! 👀

[@hochspannunglebensgefahr5339]

Real men cut it up with a flintknapped blade

[@theresagomez2605]

Lol. You people are funny!😂

[@polrusstomakriss9001]

@@theresagomez2605 Agreed because I do it too, and you know what, I'm mad I missed a step in not saging it 😂😂😂😂😅😅😅

[@PhantomSavage]

You forgot me. The guy that dumps 80% of the sugar dispenser's contents right into the mug with a half cup of heavy cream before throwing in a shot glass of the black stuff and calls it "coffee"

[@djblade3688]

See that’s because that’s not coffee lol

[@cleverusername9369]

You put a shot of Guinness in your coffee?

[@DeathclawJedi]

@@cleverusername9369 No he puts a shot of Guinness in an unprocessed warm ice cream mix. ... Hmmm Guinness Ice Cream? I think we may be on to something here. Want to partner up and start a new company? lol

[@PhantomWolf-pd2qq]

Yep that's me 4 of those creamer cups and 2 sugar

[@personx4999]

Ru a 13 year old white girl?

[@dragons_red]

"I got a two-fer with a coupon, I'd call that a fair trade" Perfect

[@Mattrino101]

That's me to a T

[@jefffinkbonner9551]

And then there’s the grandpa who’s squarely the first guy here but winds up at a Starbucks randomly, squints at the menu board, and just says: “I’ll have one of those vanilla bullshit things.”

[@MusicalBotany]

As a barista of eight years, I can confirm that these are my FAVORITE customers. I recently sold a mocha to a guy who looked like he'd only ever had gas station coffee... I still have no idea how that happened.

[@cliffarroyo9554]

Vanilla bullshit... the best thing on the menu!

[@paul_warner]

"Starbucks sells everything but coffee"

[@kristenkaz3080]

Oh man!!!! That’s the BEST COFFEE STORY EVER! I’m screenshoting this!

[@jinksphoton]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/q4LHgZKEeJl4qrs

[@deputydonutlife3745]

For the coffee snob, you need a bur grinder, a scale, and a temperature controlled electric kettle for precise temp water. Great video though. Lol.

[@theresagomez2605]

I guess we know which one you are.😂

[@dchen2140]

And single origin geisha grown from a fair trade, sustainable (he got that part right), single farm, small batch, 2 week old roast for maximum breathing time.

[@reginabillotti]

@@dchen2140 Sorry, the geisha will be serving tea...

[@feonacho]

an snob is a wannabe that doesn't know what he is doing, so no, someone who knows what he is doing isn't a snob.

[@ariomintarja4539]

Also treated soft water

[@rosegoldhiips]

I'm a Starbucks barista and you portrayed like half the customers I get with that baristas nightmare one 🤣

[@chelseaaa7360]

It's hard to believe those people exist! but that's a big reason I won't work in the food industry. My baby cousin works for Starbucks and the customers regularly make her cry there

[@staceykersting705]

I can't even detect any coffee in all that liquid candy crap. Guess I'm most like the first guy, but buy mostly organic.

[@ethanriley7763]

I worked at Starbucks for a few years (192). There are times when I miss it, but then I see how extra some customers have become and I’m glad I’m out.

[@lovelydeath04]

I am so sorry for people like that.

[@JenXOfficialEDM]

Thank you for doing the Lord's work. Sincerely, a coffee nut.

[@kyletroyer7595]

Charlie is clearly not an actual coffee snob as a snob would never use a blade grinder to grind beans. 😂

[@izzybeth]

mortar and pestle all the way, eh?

[@loren6783]

I concur. He should have used an adjustable, hand-crank, ceramic burr grinder.

[@jasonhigley1791]

I honestly didnt know there was another option. But I'm a black coffee guy.lol

[@David-zx3ud]

@@loren6783 ceramic... you disgust me sir. Stainless steel at least

[@kirstenmeyer346]

I admit I cringed a little at the blade grinder.😅

[@kostyayatsuk2004]

A variant of the snob: The collector. Has the most different ways to make coffee and uses them all depending on mood, weather, coffee type, etc... May or may not be me

[@IkeCoblentz]

Vacume pot am i right?

[@peggywoods4327]

Hahahahaha oh that's me, with a touch of snob. My preferred method is pour-over, 2nd is aeropress. Cold brew in the summer. Only souvenir from Costa Rica? Coffee maker. Life's too short to drink bad coffee!

[@adama4791]

I have a nespresso for the rare occasion when I feel like doing nothing or if I’m late. Main brew methods are chemex and Cuban coffee/Moka pot

[@Richard-HiFiMan]

I may be guilty of this as well. Current equipment include: Baratza Sette 270 grinder Fellow Stagg EKG gooseneck kettle Hario V60 manual pour over Hario Smart BT-7 automatic pour over machine La Pavoni Stradivari lever style espresso maker Quick Mill Alexia Evo espresso maker Gaggia Cadorna Prestige espresso maker Ikawa smart home roaster

[@Nateilage]

I finally found someone just like myself. I knew I couldn't be the only collector

[@randomcub922]

I showed the coffee snob part to my friend’s dad (who is coffee snob) and his reaction was: “A true snob would not use that grinder”

[@parker4544]

It's the most important thing more than the coffee

[@annieboookhall]

​@@parker4544 Yup, gotta be a burr grinder with a minimum of 3 settings (fine, medium, and coarse)

[@Yupppi]

He's right, the first guy might use bladed grinder if he didn't drink what he drinks. It's not too expensive to get a manual grinder without blades and greatly improve the brew.

[@Darthquackius]

yeah.... all of us immediately noticed the blade grinder like "oh .... so you don't care about even grind then okay"

[@GraceWhip]

Having worked at Starbucks, I actually loved the complicated drink orders when people were nice. It felt so awesome whenever I'd finally learn a regular's crazy drink order have it starting by the time they'd come in each day.

[@RaidersX95]

That's lovely 😍

[@atlramona]

Wait, people actually order coffee like that? I’m so sorry for what you experienced.

[@thenightporter]

In addition to giving an employee like you a generous tip, you are the kind of person I would offer to connect with for a job opportunity if you were looking for a better one.

[@eileenrouhani6294]

Oh yes - that's the entire staff of the Dutch Bros. my daughter goes to!😅

[@heatherpfeil2939]

Clearly you are an amazing person!☕️

[@repapeti98]

We buy coffee beans because my parents found 3 microgramms of sawdust or whatever in the pre-ground package. Boy I sure enjoy the sound the grinder makes in the morning. Sounds like a lawnmower going through a rock garden.

[@gofferboy18]

How did they find 3 micrograms?

[@thesnoopydance645]

😆

[@PokeMinecat]

I sense a little bit of sarcasm in here.

[@jakegarrett8109]

Too bad, that was actually coke, makes it the best coffee (extra jittery though, but it really wakes you up!). I call it the "Hunter black coffee"

[@tommyoh8873]

Please never tell them about the permissible levels of cockroach in pre-ground coffee.

[@discman15]

You're missing one: the belligerent addict who brags about needing ten cups and screams at you until they get it

[@DJTheMetalheadMercenary]

"FRESH POOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!!!!"

[@Anna_Noelle]

That’s my dad’s mom!🤣🤣🤣

[@danulas]

and the New Englander who gets a large iced coffee from Dunks even though it's 20 F outside.

[@michelenoia6767]

🤣

[@discman15]

@@AzathothTheGreat coffee is the most socially acceptable addiction

[@abbyelliott8091]

As a decaf drinker with raging anxiety, I have never felt more accurately offended

[@CHIMPOaGOGO]

At least you'll never have to worry about caffeine causing a UTI.

[@elenacosta5634]

looool

[@elenacosta5634]

@Kyra Same, I can't with caffeine, it feels like a heart attack lol

[@SilvaDreams]

@@elenacosta5634 Well just so you know... Decaf isn't caffeine free. Just very little around 2mg compared to black tea which is 26mg. (Coffee can be anywhere between 60 and 100mg)

[@SolomonUcko]

"You just insulted my entire race of people. But yes." - Jimmy O. Yang

[@ajmacphoto]

Not sure if it was intentional, but grinding coffee with a magic bullet blender was some high level trolling. So many corrections from the coffee snob crowd. 😂 (To be clear, I’m a huge “coffee snob” to the point the TSA has searched my bag because of all the beans and coffee gear I was carrying.)

[@redshed2020]

Bullet blenders actually have a milling blade available, does beans, nuts, wheat berries etc. Don't adk me how I know 😅

[@christosyal5883]

I agree. A conical burr grinder is great. But if you’re ever caught at a friend’s cottage and all they have is a blade grinder, you just pulse and shake to your preferred grind.

[@noobulon4334]

Try a moka pot with a gamecube controller on top of it, eyebrows were raised at the xray 😅

[@abhimaanmayadam5713]

@@redshed2020 the milling blades always break. I have gone through so many of them

[@ki5aok]

"Yes officer, I'm on my way to Columbia. Am I hiding drugs? No, I just want some coffee."

[@jektonoporkins5025]

I am so guilty of number 1. If I actually do have to go to a coffee place, my order is usually “I’ll take the largest cup of the darkest coffee you have.”

[@inmyownwords9798]

My uncle calls it cowboy coffee ☕

[@standingdoor7077]

I don't wash my coffee cup for months at a time. I just blow out whatever dust that collects in it.💀 I mostly drink instant.

[@Puddlef1sh]

Lmao same. Big cup with hot black coffee that's all that matters.

[@bobbybob4680]

Yeah I feel that. I used to absolutely hate coffee until I tried it black and now thats one of my favorite beverages

[@jpheitman1]

Word to the wise: The lighter roasts have more caffeine, and often more flavor.

[@ryanebrecht5651]

"It's little, but goes a long way...just like me" genuinely made me burst out laughing. 😂

[@arielle8489]

*Only for fans over 18 years old* Forepl4y.com/machiko mañas no se la Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la lease que escriba bien mamon hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado.por la vida dura que se vive hoy . Köz karaş: ''Taŋ kaldım'' Erinder: ''Sezimdüü'' Jılmayuu: ''Tattuuraak'' Dene: ''Muzdak'' Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis. Aç köz arstan Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon. Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu gana taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. ''Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt'' dep oylodu arstan. Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu.#垃圾 Son unos de los mejores conciertos , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente 💗❤️💌💘💟

[@kristinefendrick3633]

Same!!

[@Petra999]

Relatable for you was it Ryan?

[@christytheobald2088]

That was the best part!🤣

[@SarLizNoo]

💀💀💀

[@isaiahrohrabcker4964]

As a coffee snob watching him dump those beans in a nutri blender was more difficult than seeing folgers

[@rosepistilli223]

I know right????😂

[@benjaminschroeck509]

Burr grinder all day erry day

[@1papester]

I like Folgers 😐

[@aidenlakata7662]

@@1papester try something new, most other coffee is better

[@VeteranVandal]

That was probably part of the joke.

[@paultellier2147]

The ground coffee in your lip during church had me dying. Seriously funny.

[@AirshBornely]

Same. "That's how you get a good buzz going for the Lord" had laughing for a good minute

[@triclopsgamer5934]

Yeah. It's good for you. It puts hair on your nipples.

[@abbeywade9264]

I used to sneak into the church kitchen when I was 7 during service to make myself some coffee. It helped me get through sitting down so long. Many years later I was diagnosed with ADHD 🤣

[@commonomics]

Imagine if we could be stimulated by life like the decaf guy? we are all secretly jealous of him

[@jackb8598]

No ….we are not.

[@insaneaqua9692]

Not everyone relies on caffeine lmao

[@commonomics]

@@insaneaqua9692 ya dude it was lil joke

[@erinyes3943]

I wish I had this chill and concentration

[@Alex-is8hk]

When I was a waitress in a small town in Montana, an old man told me that only women and children put cream in their coffee. Which made me question what children he knows drinks coffee. Hahahaha.

[@yourgodemperorofeverything1354]

Back in the dyas it wasn't that uncommon. I remember that even in Astrid book "Children of bullerbyn" they drink coffe during winter.

[@gregorsamsa1364]

I started in the 6th grade. I needed to stay up all night to read a book and write a book report for my best friend. The book he was supposed to read was the first Harry Potter book. I got so cracked out. Read the book from front to back and finished writing the report just before it was time for school. Then I needed more coffee to function at school. I was hooked immediately. Friend got an A+ on the report. I never read any more of those damn Harry Potter books

[@nickapalooza861]

My 11 year old drinks decaf with cream lol

[@jettahammond2916]

Haha that’s funny 😂

[@Cjinglaterra]

I started when I was tall enough to steal Mom’s off the counter when her back was turned. She took cream and sugar. I liked it. Eventually I was caught and she started making me some so she wasn’t being shorted of her caffeine fix.

[@JenniferHudson3231]

I wonder how many times he's practice that Starbucks order🤣🤣 not gone lie the first one sounded pretty good

[@leefrenchfry]

So true

[@hungryjack8032]

Starsucks only sells coffee flavored milk. Its not coffee if the cup is full of other stuff.

[@JenniferHudson3231]

@@hungryjack8032 I mean you're not wrong but it's good milk 🤷🏾‍♀️💀

[@niclasgehlen1532]

Expensive milk, nothing else

[@theosingh29]

" that’s how you get a good buzz going for the Lord" 😂😂 ☕️

[@Samcomply]

Haha, absolute gold.

[@gregorfurtenbach6893]

Completely unnecessary

[@SirPunch2Face]

@@gregorfurtenbach6893 You're completely unnecessary. Go manually check the height of a bridge for the Lord

[@pugmo]

The fiend. "Check this out, it has 300mg of caffeine per cup. How does it taste? No clue, haven't really paid attention. A pitcher when I wake up, a cup before bed to keep the shakes away. Switched to this from bang energy when I started adding up my energy drink expenses, bought a new car with the savings."

[@atklecz2695]

Yeah that’s perfect lol I was thinking he was missing the “addict” but fiend is much better. I was definitely a fiend at one point and I still fall back into it every once in a while. 1$ Dunkin happy hour before they raised the price and added espresso shots was my go to but I would happily drink coffee with any of the stereotypes

[@davidreed4713]

Lol this is me

[@dasdovian7785]

Deathwish coffee. For when you haven't slept in 3 days and need to stay up for another 2.

[@aaronmacy9134]

I read this in Tweaks voice from South Park. *“AAAAHHH!!!”*

[@zanaduz2018]

@@dasdovian7785 Having drank some Deathwish, I can agree with that assessment - drinking my first cup was like getting a rabbit punch to the kidneys, but boy was I wired.

[@aprilfonseca4916]

I am literally watching this as I hand grind my organic, fair trade, Peruvian honey processed beans. I am ashamed of myself now lol

[@pholdren]

Organic fair trade AND honey process? How much do THOSE beans cost?

[@thevashfan12392]

@@pholdren about 25 dollars a bag these days. I've had plenty but my daily go-to is instant followed by an artisanal coffee brewed up to follow me through the day.

[@JesusMySavior24]

​@@thevashfan12392Artisinal.

[@el_dani]

Don‘t be ashamed, enjoy life and your coffee - let the others drink the rubbish

[@seanm7539]

Hey ha ha ha ha as you should be sir

[@sabatheus]

2:48 Blade grinder? Oh HELL no.

[@jezlassiter9374]

Lol that Barista Nightmare scene was exactly my friend and I when she first took me to Starbucks 😂😅 I was the inexperienced one, watching her like she was trying to summon something.

[@jfrazz9729]

Don’t forget me! I’ll drink anything so long as there is enough creamer and sugar because I actually hate coffee 😂

[@abbyz6614]

Me! Anyone who watches me make my cup in the morning says, "Would ya like some coffee with your creamer?" I need my coffee to taste like a dessert

[@davidsinclair47]

The reason I gave up coffee was because if I'm having sugar and cream why spoil it with coffee.

[@jfrazz9729]

@@abbyz6614 my dad says “would you like some coffee with that sugar?” He also calls it Candy Coffee.

[@xXSarahSacrificeXx]

Reminds me of a regular customer we had back when I was working in a fast food cafe "extra large coffee with 10 cream and 12 sugar" "ma'am the creamer fills up the entire cup and it's 2 inches of sugar, are you sure that's the amount that you would like?" "Yup. Just a small splash of coffee please."

[@marshmallowmilkshake1893]

I add cocoa powder to mine lmao

[@emmaschauer5409]

As a former Starbucks batista, I can affirm that the "Barista's Worst Nightmare" is real life.

[@elizabethhoover4672]

The coffee snob was a hoot. 😂 "It's little, but it goes a long way. Just like me!"

[@karafuller3033]

"It's little, but goes a long way...just like me." 🤣 And the decaf guy is awesome!

[@lyanne5525]

He made 150 Starbucks app points with that one order.

[@aashepherd8585]

Yess

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

My grandfather was 💯 the first kind of coffee drinker. I took those habits and made them snob, by combining them with my DIY obsession (also inherited from Pop), roasting my own beans in the driveway using a heat gun 😂

[@AnticipatedHedgehog]

Please tell me you get decent results with the heat gun!

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

@@AnticipatedHedgehog we do! My hubs actually prefers it, because he likes the connection of really hearing and smelling all the stages of the roasting process.

[@AnticipatedHedgehog]

@YellaSpiceFamily love it! Probably alot of trial and error but very clever.

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

@@AnticipatedHedgehog we can't really take credit for any invention: there are many coffee roasting forums online, and the heat gun + dog bowl approach was the favorite method in the olden days when home-sized roasters were not yet common and/or affordable. If you Google it there are tons of videos and instructables out there! The resources take a lot of the guesswork out of it.

[@fritz6530]

I started with a popcorn maker I got for 1.35 at goodwill. Built roasters out of rotisserie ovens and made dechaffers from old cans. Lol I love it.

[@thorskjelver8564]

"No this isn't allowed in my house, please go throw it at a cat" had me dying.

[@memyself898]

I love those that say they love coffee, then proceed to add 14 different things to it turning it into a slightly coffee flavored milk (oh, sometimes almond or something weird) shake.

[@Griselda_Puppy]

Right!?

[@vittoriof.8088]

You literally described every starbucks costumer.

[@memyself898]

@@vittoriof.8088 literally....

[@Dovawhat]

And thats their choice.

[@erinyes3943]

Honestly I do both lol Easier than going out to buy coffee ice cream but tastes just like it

[@dusksoldier]

When he said the decaf guy like to bake white bread, and liked vanilla ice cream with regular sugar cones over waffle cones. I felt attacked😅

[@peggyrider2364]

I honestly feel like Charlie is all of these depending on the day 😂

[@arielle8489]

*Only for fans over 18 years old* Forepl4y.com/machiko mañas no se la Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la lease que escriba bien mamon hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado.por la vida dura que se vive hoy . Köz karaş: ''Taŋ kaldım'' Erinder: ''Sezimdüü'' Jılmayuu: ''Tattuuraak'' Dene: ''Muzdak'' Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis. Aç köz arstan Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon. Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu gana taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. ''Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt'' dep oylodu arstan. Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu.#垃圾 Son unos de los mejores conciertos , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente 💗❤️💌💘💟

[@spamviking]

Dont forget the "I got fucking annihilated last night, slept 2 hours, took 8 ibuprofen washed down with a gallon of gatorade, but I gotta get to work somehow" coffee drinker.

[@101jir]

With the exception of "getting annihilated last night," basically me. Except I work overnights at a group home, so it isn't about getting to work as much as not falling asleep on the job. Some nights nothing happens and I can sleep right through. Other nights not a single hour. Though my boss and coworkers are cool with me staying at the house and sleeping after my shift is done before going home if need be, fortunately. Technically we get sleep hours. In practice we may or may not actually get any sleep.

[@spacee3249]

I usually drink energy drinks for caffeine, but there is something about the punch in the face that black coffee gives you that almost wakes you up more than the caffeine. Its like punishing yourself in the morning after already not wanting to be awake

[@JustinHonaker]

It's only punishment if you don't like it.

[@lovelybones8179]

is that why yall drink black coffee?? I could never figure out why anyone would ever do that to themselves but that makes so much sense now 😅

[@markm0000]

That’s bitterness and acid. Tastes great

[@Lizzyjaeger]

“Go throw it at a cat” 😂😂😂

[@raiderjohnthemadbomber8666]

We got a coffee grinder (not chopper ) as a wedding gift. Just for giggles we bought some beans at Traders Joes, knowing nothing about the various types of beans. We'll celebrate our 39th anniversary this year and we've never looked back! I bought a chopper after the first grinder gave out after 20 years. We endured it about 2 weeks and threw it out and bought another burr grinder. We also endured the Northridge earthquake, I was forced to use a manual grinder and a Melita pot on a camp stove. We quickly became the most popular neighbors on the block!

[@cashkromsupernerd1193]

I don't know what most of those terms mean, but you sound pretty proud, so congratulations!

[@raiderjohnthemadbomber8666]

@@cashkromsupernerd1193 yes, I'm very proud of us and our upcoming anniversary that no one predicted, thanks.

[@fourlittlebirds6166]

Ahh. The ol Northridge earth quake. When no one had running water or electricity for a full week, and people slept out in tents in their yards and everyone broke out all the camping gear they never used (like Colman stoves) cause they were afraid to go back into their houses. Never seen city folk freak out so much in my short life. (Grew up in simi and I don’t remember my parents drinking coffee at all that week. But they probably did instant with boiled water. They drank a lot of instant back then. )

[@raiderjohnthemadbomber8666]

@@fourlittlebirds6166 I use to work at the Longs Drugs in Simi, Feel me, touch me Valley. Yeah, I remember folks sleeping in parks, too. We, however were REAL campers. I was a member of the Order of the Arrow, which is a honor camping society within the BSA and my son held a 1st. Class badge. We liked to camp at Chileo Flats, my wife is a tailgate camper so she'd stay there while my son and I would go "peak bagging". Besides Mt. Waterman, there were six other peaks within hiking distance. Had a lot of fun. Nice to talk to a fellow native as I've been gone from California ten years. When they re-elected Gov. Moonbeam we were out!

[@ruthsaunders9507]

Those coffee places always look at me funny when I ask for coffee. Just coffee.

[@polrusstomakriss9001]

Frfr 😂😂😂😂

[@johnindigo5477]

🤨😑😶

[@cassierobertson5778]

😂😂😂 I'm a black coffee snob. "It's Folgers. That's not allowed in my house." TRUTH

[@jordanhicks5131]

Oh, you must be one of them there Maxwell House drinkers, eh?

[@cassierobertson5778]

@@jordanhicks5131 😂😂😂

[@MedCodingGoddess]

@@jordanhicks5131 Growing up, my dad was a Maxwell House guy. It's all we had in the house because if it was good enough for the 29 guys on the freighter, it was good enough for home. These days, now that he's been retired for nearly a decade, he buys beans from a place in the city and grinds them before brewing each morning. If there's any leftover coffee after breakfast, he saves it in a mason jar for the next morning to make the next day's fresh cup a more drinkable temperature.

[@theoriginalNoOne.]

That's funny, folgers is the crappiest coffee I'll allow. 🤣

[@lovelydeath04]

Lol, you and my mom

[@kristenkaz3080]

My grandpa would make coffee using one heaping tablespoon of grounds per cup. I’d leave their house & I’d be sitting at a stoplight with my foot SHAKING on the brake pedal. Good old grandpa’s coffee. Miss you gramps! No one makes coffee like you!

[@notimportant8643]

The part where the coffee snob tells his friend to throw out the folgers is 100% me lol

[@phinehasjacob9122]

I’m the Black Coffee guy of my house. My mom is the baristas nightmare and my dad is the snob. Give me Folgers any day

[@brittanymiller3157]

I drink my coffee two ways: Plain "if I could snort pure caffeine I would" black or adult milkshake. Nothing in between.

[@carljohnson4691]

Totally underrated comment! Lol,

[@parkerdewitt5279]

You can snort pure caffeine

[@brittanymiller3157]

@@parkerdewitt5279 Any amount worth snorting would likely be fatal. Which isn't exactly what I look for in coffee.

[@fomoco300k]

Agree 100%

[@jpmonin7429]

Sounds like you want something better than coffee.

[@Th3Duck0nQuak]

You forgot the ice coffee guy in the midst of winter

[@boomchakalaka0]

guilty

[@DJTheMetalheadMercenary]

Cold Brew is great, beats the heartburn lmao

[@clrobinson1776]

That’s me too. Well, except for the guy part.

[@jnicole2440]

That's me!

[@Lawrence330]

I feel attacked.

[@danielthompson6207]

The first guy brings back memories of using the instant coffee that came in MREs like dip. I'm not sure if it ever worked, but it's what we did.

[@NaNa-re3wc]

My grandpa drinks decaf, and my grandma’s got him drinking crystal light. That part hit home for me😂

[@jessmiller2376]

I'm one of those people that just loves coffee. I can drink the nasty stuff or the expensive bougie stuff. I just seriously enjoy coffee so much. I look forward to my cup in the AM and i have to force myself to not get crazy throughout the day, lol

[@paigeherrin29]

Amen, sister!

[@oldsguy354]

I tell people that I used to be in the US Army, there is no such thing as a bad cup of coffee. ;)

[@mickidee6714]

I’m with you. I’m the opposite of a coffee snob. If I can put enough sugar and creamer in it, I’m a happy camper.

[@jessmiller2376]

@@mickidee6714 SAME!!!!

[@jessmiller2376]

@@Javajavajav awwww, thank you so much!!!

[@gypsybelle4757]

That freshly opened bag full face deeeeep inhale!! 😍😍😍 You nailed it! 😂😂🤣 This entire sketch was brilliant.

[@TannerSwizel]

My wife is a black coffee snob. In the last two years alone she has acquired 3 different grinders, two electric kettles, two different glass pour overs, two different french presses, briefly tried going back to autodrip just to throw it out a week after she bought it, then bought a moka pot and an aeropress in the same day. Regardless how she grinds it, pours it, steeps, or percolates it it always has to be black; I've never seen her taint the black go juice with any kind of magic heresy. Luckily she married a guy that loves the smell but hates the taste, so she gets all the coffee to herself while I relax in my mornings with the smells and sounds of a full on french cafe 😂

[@ChibiPanda8888]

Good for you, man. 👍

[@michellem9444]

The Decaf Guy is totally relatable. I started listening to NPR on the way to work recently because the local rock station is just too jarring. LOL But why watch paint dry when you could do some lovely knitting? LOL Seriously tho, I used to be more wild and exciting than this; aging just does a number on your body! ;)

[@davidcox9709]

Watching the paint dry is super underrated 1:53

[@NinjaSushi2]

"Medium coffee?" *"OH NO YOU WILL NOT."* Lol doesn't even let him order.

[@busslayer4790]

Someone at work subscribes to the 'don't wash it theory' with their coffee mug. They left their crusty stained mug in the sink one day and I couldn't stop myself from getting out the scotch brite scrubbing it spotless. It was very satisfying.

[@jakegarrett8109]

Why was it in the sink if they never wash it?

[@busslayer4790]

@@jakegarrett8109 I think it was actually left in a conference room or other common area and was moved by a third party to the sink, seeing that it was obviously in need of cleaning.

[@jakegarrett8109]

@@busslayer4790 That makes sense, poor dude isn't gong to even recognize the coffee mug and think he lost his though, lol!

[@av8orCH-47]

@@busslayer4790 I don't believe in doing any of my dishes and, subsequently, my kitchen is a mess. I'll do you a favor...come on over and clean the kitchen. If you though scrubbing one mug was satisfying, just imagine how great you'll feel after making the kitchen a place where food can safely be handled again. You're welcome in advance. Just being magnanimous today.

[@Wizardcastslightningbolt]

Someone left their coffee at my office in the mug, then covid hit and we were all sent home to work. 1.5 years later when we returned, the coffee was a black goo science experiment at the bottom of the mug. Needless to say, they just threw out the mug.

[@theultimaterage675]

I turned into a coffee snob after my old art teacher got me in this cult. I've been ordering specialty beans ever since. He taught me all the ins and outs of enjoying high end beans and specific boiling temperatures

[@Sr_iRL]

Could you share your tips with me, with us in the comments section?

[@AllyMonsters]

@@Sr_iRL The key is to have monkeys poop the coffee beans out.

[@The-Blue-Knight]

@@AllyMonsters lmfao you made my day XD

[@marcoberriodi3685]

Specific water temperature is not really important in most brewing methods, and you will generally get the best results at 212° (for light-medium roasts anyway). You should watch Hoffman's video on it.

[@armorykittington]

Please.

[@SamsaLilaTheHobo]

This is sassy, I love it. I used to be the fourth one in Northern California making these little cups of "yuba mud" burning sage and pair it with sexy mexi weed (aka imported weed that wasn't pressed into a brick). 90s we're fun

[@OspreyFlyer]

I remember in 1973 sneaking back to the cafeteria at my job to have "Cowboy Coffee" with the cooks. They'd boil water and throw in some Folgers. A little gritty but was good times. 👍😂

[@BuckeyeNut123]

Ah yes, it's the texture that makes it good.

[@WeezieV]

When he "fell off the wagon" it'd be funny if he said, "Yeah I couldn't sleep for 5 days and I'm not used to pooping everyday. It's never some place convenient either."

[@Laura-oy8oz]

I am decaf. 😂😂 Everything is correct. 😂

[@laurabuckles7961]

I wish coffee tasted as good as it smells. Smells like warm, toasty goodness, tastes like if paint thinner and dirt had a baby. You guys are just drinking it for the caffeine buzz, admit it. 😉

[@TheMgarofalo]

Yes it smells better than it tastes. That's why I need at least whole milk in it

[@dasdovian7785]

If it tastes like that, you're either drinking bad coffee or you're burning it.

[@MooseBme]

Seattle's Best, No 5 YUMMY 👍!

[@laurabuckles7961]

@@MooseBme Well, I was about to ask for recommendations 🙂

[@MooseBme]

@@laurabuckles7961 !(: I'm glad I could help, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do ;)!

[@fiercedeity9955]

And then you have the psychopaths who will sleep for five hours and then get up and perfectly function at 3 in the morning without coffee or breakfast.

[@MozzyCV20]

I guess I’m the black coffee guy, except I wash my pot….occasionally lol

[@juliamundt101]

You forgot the Keto Bullet Coffee snob: black coffee, Irish butter, heavy whipping cream, coconut oil, faux sweetener- all mixed in a blender. Everyone should like their coffee with a head on it.

[@The_BlackTemplar]

If you want something with a good head on it, and contains something irish, may i suggest a pint of Guinness.

[@andrealmoseley6575]

I just started this! How'd it turn out? I feel like I'm betraying my roots🤣

[@anybodyoutthere3208]

Julia that’s how we’ve been making our coffee for a couple years. Sometimes we jazz it up with cinnamon, anise powder and Cacao Boy fills you up for hours on end Love it ☕️

[@cristea9429]

I am the coffee snob and I have the “Coffee Snob” mug as a gift to prove it. Nobody complains when I make a pressed cup of my finest new coffee find. ☕️ 🤤

[@ecvfamilytube]

“Come get it while it’s cracked!”

[@CyberdyneSystemsSkynet]

My 3rd grade teacher would legit chew up coffee beans and keep the grounds in his lip like chew. Guy smoked like 2 packs a day too.

[@MrFinch-vx2kb]

He forgot people like me who drink coffee at 10:30 pm to get sleepy before bed 😂

[@tinaperez7393]

1:38 - Goose!!! 😁🤗🥳👏 - haven't seen him since the junk drawer! 😁😸

[@Kelly_Grey]

Cross the black coffee drinker and the snob, and that's me. I would never condone throwing anything at a cat though.

[@arielle8489]

*Only for fans over 18 years old* Forepl4y.com/machiko mañas no se la Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la lease que escriba bien mamon hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado.por la vida dura que se vive hoy . Köz karaş: ''Taŋ kaldım'' Erinder: ''Sezimdüü'' Jılmayuu: ''Tattuuraak'' Dene: ''Muzdak'' Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis. Aç köz arstan Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon. Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu gana taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. ''Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt'' dep oylodu arstan. Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu.#垃圾 Son unos de los mejores conciertos , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente 💗❤️💌💘💟

[@robertf3397]

I think I've been a little of each of those types. But now I'm pretty much the 'Black Coffee Drinker.' ... "It's pre-flavored!" 🤣

[@fbbWaddell]

I used to snub Folgers until I volunteered at a nonprofit that used to their columbian blend. It wasn't as bad as the instant stuff my grandma drink. I won't buy it, but I'll drink anything columbian that isn't instant.

[@Deborita777]

You forgot the Mid-East coffee guy. Tiny cup. Coffee as black as a black hole, and as thick as partially solidified maple syrup. And NOTHING in it (except, maybe various spices).

[@PariahThistledowne]

Yes! My Lebanese neighbor would have his buddies over for Turkish on the porch to loudly discuss things for hours in Armenian. Great times!

[@c0urtneyk]

I weaned myself off of all caffeine about 6 months ago, so I am definitely the decaf guy now lmao. “I got naughty and tried the regular stuff, didn’t sleep for 5 days” 😂😂

[@bobbyboucher187]

"I'm baking white bread." That one got me. 😂😂

[@kimmeeb]

I find this hilarious cause my dad is literally the black coffee guy but dumps like half a bottle of creamer in his cup every morning XD. I asked him when the last time he washed the pot was, cause it was starting to get some grime in the bottom and he just said "I don't know, when did we buy it?"

[@joshuaperry4112]

Worked at Starbucks. Can confirm. Worst customer I ever had asked "what was taking so long" IMMEDIATELY after ordering, as I handed her the receipt. I told her it would be a couple minutes; she snorted and said, "real specific. 2 minutes? 3?" I said, "actually, 5minutes 37seconds." Just to be a smartass. She brought her wrist up to her face and watched her fucking watch. Saying, "I'm timing you so you don't forget my order." I finished in about 30seconds, then sat her drink in plain view but out of reach, then set a 5min timer. She bitched but I told her straight, "you demanded I be specific - so we are BOTH going to wait here." She said she'd never come back. A day later she was back...and quiet.

[@Querymonger]

This happened

[@politicallyinsensitive4200]

@@Querymonger probably not

[@err_4044]

As a black coffee guy the moment he said "it's like cast iron" I felt to called out 🤣

[@proletar-ian]

The Jack Kerouac book in the last scene lmao

[@BBJBS]

I only drink coffee that comes from Kwik Trip, and only after I've spent twenty hours shoveling snow.

[@Visplight]

Seems like it would have helped you more if you drank it before shoveling.

[@TheSloppyjoejr]

There’s another one: my dad. He only likes his specific coffee from his expensive espresso machine. He also has a cup heater so the coffee is just right. 😂

[@kostyayatsuk2004]

Apparently I'm your dad

[@withthesun13]

I have a cup warmer.

[@suran396]

Cup warmers are great!!

[@boygenius538_8]

He’s a snob then. Doesn’t get snobbier than espresso

[@aashepherd8585]

A man of culture 👏

[@The-Blue-Knight]

Only coffee I like is 90% milk 9% sugar/honey 1% coffee. Might as well call it what it is. A milkshake lol.

[@AMCoffee]

I'm not quite the boring decaf person, as I drink black tea, but I'm basically the boring decaf person, because normal coffee gives me the jitters, I do like white bread, and having sports on in the background is terribly distracting. Unless we're talking about body cam videos, which I count as a sport. Those are fun.

[@annwitten4359]

Dude- I laughed seeing the Jack Kerouac novel in the Snob’s house! He’s a perfect coffeehouse Beats poetry guy right there!

[@coreyswan4747]

Honestly we can all agree there’s more than 4 types of coffee drinkers😭 u got ur frozen latte ppl, ur iced coffee/latte ppl, ur milky coffee ppl, ur cappuccino ppl, jus so many

[@sallyhamilton7202]

Your dog is so cute! I also appreciated the mug with the beagle on it as I have three beagles of my own!

[@moonlightride6256]

I'm in the caffeine doesn't affect me club.

[@fanrik9583]

List of things wrong with the 'snob coffee': 2:46 Beans aren't weighed or measured in any way. He'll get a quite inconsistent water to coffee ratio. 2:49 Beans are ground with a cheap electric blade grinder, making the grind very inconsistent. All 'snobs' will have a burr grinder. Electric or manual doesn't matter. 3:03 Filter hasn't been rinsed. 3:10 No concentration while pouring the water. There is technique to this stuff guys. 3:18 Drinking the coffee directly after brewing. A true snob will wait for it to cool a bit.

[@Mang0Tang048]

The fair trade joke killed me. But this is all so painfully accurate 😂😂

[@its_saber1525]

I'm the tea drinker I like Chai Teas and Bubble Teas

[@cav3man360]

Get out now

[@safromnc8616]

You are a tea snob...

[@pjp9383]

@@safromnc8616 Nah. A tea snob is a person who knows the exact water temp required for different types of tea leaves, and has a temperature adjustable kettle to get the temp just right. They are able to tell you the average temp drop if you don't pre-warm your teapot, and engage in spirited debate over which tea types are permitted to have a splash of milk, or a squeeze of lemon. The use of various infusers, strainers or paper tea bags may also get them going. They never use pre-bagged tea. Loose leaf for life! Tea snobs will also haughtily correct you if you say chai tea, bc that essentially translates to "tea tea." Masala chai is probably the best name for that spicy milky tea. Or you can just call it chai, because unless you're in India, asking for chai instead of just tea kind of implies all the rest of it. 😆

[@michaelhicks1481]

I swear, Charlie is like a Mid-West version of my Texas self. Except he's a heck of alot funnier. Keep er movin y'all

[@arielle8489]

*Only for fans over 18 years old* Forepl4y.com/machiko mañas no se la Megan: "Hotter" Hopi: "Sweeter" Joonie: "Cooler" Yoongi: "Butter Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la lease que escriba bien mamon hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado.por la vida dura que se vive hoy . Köz karaş: ''Taŋ kaldım'' Erinder: ''Sezimdüü'' Jılmayuu: ''Tattuuraak'' Dene: ''Muzdak'' Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis. Aç köz arstan Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon. Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu gana taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. ''Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt'' dep oylodu arstan. Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu.#垃圾 Son unos de los mejores conciertos , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente 💗❤️💌💘💟

[@claudiamiller7730]

Hmm…I see your decaf brew and raise you a caffeine free, non-acidic, water-processed, barley-sweet potato-chicory-cinnamon-melange made in the USA, served in a vintage Tim Horton’s mug and stirred with a renewable sourced bamboo spoon. Yep….this is how I start my day. Every stinking time.

[@Jomus85]

Meanwhile me and my mom: “Get me coffee, we gotta get going to school!” “I’m nowhere near awake for this shit-“ (Who is who is interchangeable)

[@davidfroehlich2702]

great as always, and as a big fan of Wisconsin, I am happy to say that the merch took only 5 days to get to Europe. I am looking forward to piss off my friends from Chicago. Go Packers and fugg da Bears

[@stephanieoregan]

This is frickin gold 😂😂😂😂

[@forestrot666]

Yes. I am a coffee snob. Years as a baristas at local joints got me to that point. These days,all I drink is a regional and local brand. However, I used to be a Yuba gas station coffee girl in my late teens and I very much dislike Starbucks.

[@valeriepark9444]

It's kind of like with IPA beer - the further it has to travel, the more likely the esters and flavinoids will deteriorate, leaving a straight bitter flavor. Locally roasted (or at least in-state) is the way to go!

[@andrealmoseley6575]

If you get to Boise, holler!!!

[@CHIMPOaGOGO]

Gotta support your local roasters! Mine doesn't sell the best specialty beans but they are way better than grocery store or franchise coffee shops. Also $13/lbs is a steal. If I want to splurge, I'll get beans from SWroasting at $15/lbs.

[@genewilliams617]

YAY for disliking starbucks. starbucks is not really a coffee shop, it's a kuel place to be. The social influencers made sure of that. Their coffee is very average at best, at worst it mostly tasted burnt. Granted, its been a great many years since I have graced the doors of a starbucks, and that may have changed. But the variety of "coffee drinks" is only outnumbered by the number of genders that the "woke"(just never awake)cancel culture would like to shove down our throats.

[@graham2631]

Apparently, I've been living under a rock, burr grinder? WTF? Take a pot, fill with water, add coffee when you can smell it. it's done. I blew my coffee budget for a year once, l went to starbucks never again.

[@OscarDeltaSierra]

Don’t mock coffee grounds tucked the the lower lip. It’s called “Ranger Dip”, and those of us who enjoy the privilege of conducting continual military operations and/or repeated forced double-shifts in law enforcement use it relentlessly when there’s no time to brew a real pot. Praise Jesus for the wonders of creation. (And yes, I WILL happily drink two-day-old coffee from the pot sitting in the back room when I get on shift, because I’m not made of money, and I hate too see perfectly good caffeine go to waste when I’ve only had 2.5 hours of sleep, OK?).

[@HighHolyOne]

I moved to Springfield Illinois. My Oregon brother-in-law is a total coffee connoisseur. He allows no heresy in his presence. So right after the move I was on the phone with him and my sister and I said I've got an important question for him. Inasmuch as my coffee makers were still packed, I needed to ask him what instant coffee should I buy? Nasty question to ask him, but my sister became a wealthy widow.

[@sydneymoore9896]

Cafe Moxo is a pretty good Cafe there, I would give them a try and they have stuff from black coffee to super sugary. They also have good food.

[@sherribrtn]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

[@hope2029]

Have him send you some Dutch Bros coffee if hes from Oregon. Good stuff!

[@NikoBellaKhouf2]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@theomnipresent1]

Starbucks instant coffee is my favorite unfortunately. Just don't buy their instant lattes, worst drink you can buy!