5 REASONS THE INFJ IS FIRST ADMIRED… BUT THEN GHOSTED

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Dive into the curious situation where INFJs are first celebrated for their unique vibes but then end up getting ghosted. Let's break down the top five reasons behind this weird pattern, looking at the specific quirks and behaviors that draw people in but might later push them away. Get into the nitty-gritty of INFJ relationships and take a moment to reflect if this is something you've experienced. Join us on this exploration of the emotional ups and downs many INFJs face, gaining insights and maybe figuring out how to stop the cycle.
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[@Wenzes]

What experiences have you had when it comes to people liking you first and then ghosting you for some reason?

[@ninjareport2]

It's frequent, it usually happens with the opposite sex for me. Sometimes I get blocked too. Excellent video btw!!

[@keifer3795]

(INFJ PROBLEMS)It's Frequent' Most people Love may problem solving skills-But Run when I give loving solutions 🤷🏿‍♂️ I'm either a Jerk or a know-it-all...

[@landsurfin]

Sometimes I think how blissful it would be to be ignorant enough to not see straight through people. I try so hard to lessen my analytical and often judgmental side, but it's extremely difficult to fight my own nature. Despite every good intention in the world and wanting to truly make someone happy, I can't seem to do anything but make others uncomfortable. It's pretty damn lonely.

[@porcelainbisque]

thank you, you just summarized my whole life. its exactly all the points you said above and i am baffled. i love your videos as they helped me feel supported and that I am not crazy. your videos helped me feel understood. i struggled because some ppl think i lie or fake but I just didn't want to hurt their feelings or make them uncomfortable with certain info, so yeah i tend to hide it. and there were heavy, heavy amount of processes i went through just to gather all the facts. what to say, what not to say..and in the end, i just got misunderstood. When i go the honest and forward route, i share my analysis and views, and( i even went through in real life and real experiences) i was then deemed unsupportive and sharp, arrogant or a know-it-all. or too honest. I am just trying to help, only for them to belittle me. They said, you are too sensitive and emotional. too intense. All this just makes me even more want to hide myself further. its so hard and lonely. Back then, i get bullied a lot because i always make myself seem dumb and weak even though i understand their behavior. they think they are free to step on me. i saw through it all. at one point, i was thinking wouldn't it be good if i didn't see so clearly. then i wouldn't have to lie or compulsively try my best to make things better. is not like people appreciate you for helping, sometimes you get hated. i am never doing this again. its hard to fix, but i am never dumbing down myself again. GO INFJ!

[@MegaCyberleader]

Whan I off handedly read a person and tell them something that they thought nobody knew about them, Ive even out right called people stupid or liars because they tried to gas light me for thier own gains. It gets lonely for me because I refuse to tell people what they want to hear, but the honest truthe. If ya cant like me after than, then gfys. There has only been 1 person who accepted me for my powers, and I refused to cheat with her against her husband, and thus we grew apart. I really liked Sarah, But her relationship had to evolove in such a way where I didnt feel like I ever sinned against a marriage. Althought if she had been single. Id still be with her today as I would have married her. A tale of un requited love. I was so happy when she found her new husband, after she moved out of cali, to Nevada, divorced her abusive first husband and met this super awesome dood, that I even give time of day to. And thus, this has been my life for the past 40 yers or so. Only recently Have I come to accept and utilize these wierd powers.

[@juliusmuhumuza3018]

"If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen " infj intensity 😂

[@user-rc2xs5ti2w]

😂

[@jessmason2112]

💯🙏😇

[@EllieM_Travels]

The last time I got ghosted was when I set boundaries with a man I was trying to “help.” I forced myself to walk away and not repeat my past mistakes. The man I’m with now values me and I value him. He didn’t need to be fixed or helped, he doesn’t mind my intensity, we both see and accept each other’s insecurities, and we understand each other. Took me till I was 50 to learn but I did!

[@PenelopePitstop0078]

Love your comment & I relate!

[@xxAmyliaxx1xx]

“If I’m too much, go find less.” 🦄

[@bumblebee_mrs]

Amen to that!!!!

[@Candyliz2003]

It took letting them make me feel invisible to recognize what was WRONG. And it wasn't me.

[@karieification]

“If I’m too much, go find less.”-Wenzes Great way right there!! 🎉

[@yadirose6514]

Girl That’s 100!!! I’ve had to tell someone that before.. 😂🎉🎉

[@sonnenschein553]

Brilliant. ❤

[@bethanybailey202]

BOOM 💥 THIS 110% YES❤

[@HaleyMary]

If I'm too much, go find less" I love that! We will always be "too much" for the wrong people.

[@illssolution5720]

So well prepared and presented. Thank you Wenzes. At 68, I've seen how the game ends. INFJs WILL NOT "WIN" if you don't play YOUR best game. Believe Wenzes. AND BE/DO YOU ...right now! Regardless! Go, baby GO!

[@bumblebee_mrs]

In my life it goes one of two ways, 1) Someone will ghost me, 2) That I will ghost them. There is NO middle ground. It is exhausting.

[@jeem8760]

Damn

[@maximusneal2642]

You need to learn how to improve yourself, as in INFJ you have to learn self growth and growth mindset, I hate being in this community with a bunch of people who are winning and complaining, learn to grow and adapt

[@bumblebee_mrs]

@@maximusneal2642 And I hate people who can't take the truth! No one is forcing you to be here. If you want to know why this is the way it is, maybe you need to ask more questions. Since you too are complaining, I'll tell you why I do this, coz anyone I meet, they either expect way too much from me and cut me out as I can't give them what they want, or I meet toxic people who have nothing to give and just take so I cut them out as that is NOT what I'm here for. Now, do I need your approval for my life???

[@maximusneal2642]

@bumblebee_mrs There's a time for everything under the sun bubblebee. You can't be bluntly saying everything out and calling everything out. You can't change anybody, and from experience having a relationship dynamic of trying to be the "ideal lover," which is also in the book called art of seduction, that junk disappears over time and you can't ever try to fulfill someone because they will always be asking for more, you need to be yourself and have your own standards that are actually realisitc and follow, until you do that you will always attract the wrong people and allow them to step on you, you have qualities of an INFJ, your more then intelligent enough to read the social situation, its like your trying to complain about something that you allow to happen, there's no reason to complain, its not fixed, failure is your greatest teacher, if you haven't learned from your past experience the only person's fault is yourself, it's called insanity, you have to learn that you can't change anyone, only go to the people who will actually except the change, as the saying many are called but few are chosen to act do it, go to that few that will listen, I get it, there's many fools and idiots out there there blind, just go to the people who are wise because they will listen to the truth and except it, now will you except this and grow is the question?

[@maximusneal2642]

@@bumblebee_mrs You need to from the start of the relationship be you and make your standards known, instead of trying to give what they want, and if you know your consciously doing that there's nothing to complain about you just need to learn and grow so you get better results, me and you or anybody hear is not a victim the world don't revolve around you and your mind learn to be open and flow

[@valeriezaitzieff1462]

INFJs should just be their authentic selves & seek like-minded friendships & relationships. Avoid the rest & save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama & heartache.

[@thedopeone96]

Big Facts 💪🏾

[@PenelopePitstop0078]

Problem is it’s a challenge to find other INFJ’s.

[@manyiiynam6702]

We’re always too much for those who aren’t doing enough…i.e not living in their truth

[@Mentally_Better]

Overall, while INFJs may initially be admired for their positive qualities, misunderstandings or mismatches in communication and expectations can sometimes lead to them being ghosted by others. It's essential for INFJs to find people who appreciate and understand them for who they are and to cultivate healthy, authentic connections based on mutual respect and understanding.

[@GurpreetSingh-fm3nz]

Right. I always got admired but never loved. In every friend group I was in; in school, in university. They admitted me a lot, but always like a third best friend to them.

[@Verichmond]

I hate it, been single for 12 years now because of this whip lash. It almost feels like we are called to being in a life of solitude except for when those rare people that are like soulmates - even if not romantic - pop up. I’m really not interested in what most people are and I don’t like talking about it so I just don’t connect with most people.. I feel like that’s why Infjs just listen to what others say… cos we are focused on Ni

[@bumblebee_mrs]

I feel the same.

[@GigaChad_169]

Yup, the struggle is real as an INTJ

[@shattered115]

I never mention my IQ because I know it will make a lot of people feel threatened. People can see what I am. But I live by the rule that everyone has a lesson to teach us. I respect everyone and let them shine in the areas where they shine. I learn from them and know how to check my own ego and learn the lesson.

[@timothyirwin8974]

I am strongly attracted to narcissists. My initial attraction to them is now my first warning sign that they could be just that. I feel like that guy who protected Dracula when he was defenseless.

[@jessicacorrine2085]

Nailed it! I was evicted by my nasty copper father just yesterday.. bc him and my only two “blood” (ain’t thicker than water) narcissistic older brothers have a need for $ power and greed- it’s cool. You can drop me down, kick me out, leave me high and dry w nuthin on my back.. still. I Rise!! 🔥🐦‍🔥✨💜✌🏽

[@user-iu5sv2hf1r]

My father was a cop and I have experienced very similar behavior from him and family members.

[@jessicacorrine2085]

@@user-iu5sv2hf1r Love and Light to You!! It’s not ok- but WE will be ok;) Makes us stronger and more aware.. Xo Babe 💗

[@elenab8296]

INFJs are so different from others, even from INFPs, I'm INFP😊, that when a person first experiences communication with them, he is confused and does not understand what is happening. People need time to understand others, or to try to understand them.

[@JuvilleSB]

Jealousy is the cause , can't be intemidated

[@user-yz8nr3qj2y]

I prefer to say "go find better" it sounds more positive

[@LetiRoa]

For me that way of phrasing it may sound more positive for others but more hurtful to yourself.

[@teefru3677]

You are an absolute expert on INFJ’s. Always hit the mark!!

[@InvestigatingDavidCrowley]

You just gave me the perfect motto for what is going on right now. I love your saying, "If I'm too much, go find less." Thank you for that saying.

[@MENTALHEALTHWITHLUKE]

I'm finally at the stage that if you don't like what you see then watch something else. Don't pretend to like or love me to then just discard me cause I'm not the joke you took me for. I'll play it out to watch the collapse, happily. But I'm getting bored and tired of it. It's exhausting. Loving this channel, thank you. I finally make sense to myself 😂. Although we're giving the game away, I do like it. It's almost sadistic.

[@kevinyarusso326]

Personally, I never throw anyone’s insecurities in their face…ever! So what if I see it.

[@alfeonieorlanes6657]

happened to me thrice, at 34 am giving up. I am totally okay being alone.

[@MBAinternetmktg]

Thanks! This video should be watched by every INFJ.

[@summerbaker2771]

Yes every person I’ve dated was a narcissist. We knew all along. Yet always seeing the good in someone. They can’t live with you and keep the facade. We are good at putting together the pieces.

[@rjkl7363]

What you said at 6:07 its so difficult. Can't open up easily. I have tried to, but my conscious doesn't allow me to. Its so hard sometimes, I don't/can't feel like telling my real name.

[@thefilipinojoe]

One of my friends is very insecure about her appearance. She was always fishing for compliments as if she needed me to somehow convince her that she was pretty. I played along for a long time with the usual, “Very pretty,” “You look nice,” “Gorgeous,” until I realized I was in a never ending psychotic loop. Then, the next time she asked me about her looks, I responded “you look just like you looked yesterday.” 😂 After a few repeats of that, she realized that this was going to be the new psychotic loop and stopped asking me how she looks. 😂 No amount of ego boosting will give someone the self love and positive self image they are lacking.

[@cronelilith2830]

I wandered over here and wow ty for this. It's so tru and explains 60 years of life ❤❤❤

[@user-nz6yc1jr9t]

i think this is the first time I've encountered a real infj on youtube and it's so refreshing to see someone who can really get to the heart of things and has something different to say rather than infj bros who can see future and levitates once in a while

[@andrewdinfela1077]

I tweeted about this only few days ago. I just consider it a modern day friendship, finding people who we think are cool, find out they are not as cool as we think they are, and then we cut off, or mute them on social media, unfollow, or delete them etc. I did not think it this way - INFJs experienced it very much. But it's always good to learn that other INFJs experienced it too

[@MegaCyberleader]

After I finally accepted myself, its been some time since Ive even felt the slightst of depression and thus Ive ghosted the Wenzes.

[@MegaCyberleader]

I still admire her though. Thats never gonna change.

[@PenelopePitstop0078]

Don’t put baby (Y💓U) in the corner❣️ Don’t be afraid of anyone calling you a B because you are strong. Let ‘em sit & spin and continue to be strong.

[@lindateuling7862]

Wenzes, I am enthusiastically joining the others who appreciate your quote, "If I'm too much, go find less." That saying is super-duper, on-target and appropriate. And it's something I wish I would have thought of a long time ago. But thanks to this video, I know it now! 🙂🙂🙂🙂 I haven't exactly been "ghosted," but in the past, when I have tried to help people, they have accepted my help and then criticized every move I made, which is also difficult to put up with. I'm thinking of two instances where I was offering a ride to two different people. One of them gladly accepted my ride but didn't like it when I wanted to confirm something I said earlier about the ride, and got angry and told me off big time. The other one (different occasion) took me up on the offer, but then didn't like the music I was listening to. It took a lot of effort to keep from telling them off big time. If that behavior wasn't narcissistic (maybe it was) it still came across as very self-centered. Although being "ghosted" can be painful, it's been my experience that sometimes some people's disappearances from our lives may be for the better. Now that I am older, I've been quite successful about keeping people like that out of my life as much as possible.

[@hologenics1958]

OMG so true. You are so gifted in being able to pinpoint all of this. Most of the stuff on KZbin is pointless rambling, but you are absolutely on the fffing money here. Straight out of the gate, number one item was so specific and so precise. Just amazing. I’m 52 so I have suffered from this crap for decades.

[@rnedlo9909]

I warn people first meeting them: I'm like cheese cake, as a treat a little of me is great, but it's too rich to have too much. It's okay to feel that way with me, just let me know when you want another serving. I'll be here.

[@TheProject-fw3qc]

Oh my God you are so right, with dating that has been just exhausting. I'll meet somebody and this has happened twice that we click on an unbelievable level, I make them feel safe I make them feel good I make them happy they could totally fall in love with me and then on a dime, oh it's not you it's me I'm not ready for a relationship I can't do this I need to work on myself blah blah blah blah blah. It's this pattern and it drives me crazy . What is the deal with that

[@thepheniox91]

Damn, thanks for telling me the truth; all the people who ghosted me I just wanted to know why! I wish they could have told me this; instead they push away, ghost, and cut you off.

[@ziegunerweiser]

i dont know if im an infj sigma but relate to many things you speak of, I will not talk about the horrors I have endured but I have learned how to be happy just being myself no matter what happens, happiness and strength must come from within and never loose your sense of humor I think are the most important secrets of life I think I wonder if anyone told you lately how youre the perfect amount of cute and your eyes are absolutely stunning, I can only hope there are people in your world that appreciate you

[@packyhubbard1]

100% Felt like you made this for me

[@BenBartolovic]

I'm really not sure, why people ghost me, because usually I don't care about those any more. So I don't ask or research that. I'm sure they have their reasons and the ones you mentioned are reasonable as well. There might be additional ones like jealousy, insecurities... The question is, how do I want to deal with this situation? What is a good mindset for that? If someone ghosts me and I didn't expect it, I think to myself: Ok, they figuered out earlier than me that we don't fit, fine with me. If we don't fit and they havn't figured it out yet, I show them why we don't fit and sometimes people ghost me then. Fine with me as well, just a sign of missing communication skills. I really don't care anymore. The tipps you give are very good, if not already implemented. Like staying away from narcissists, showing your true personality... Those are very valuable skills or traits.

[@christinemerritt974]

It’s how I weed out the weak😂! Get AWAY FROM ME😂😂😂!!!! I don’t want to waste MY TIME on YOU!

[@ziegunerweiser]

if you get ghosted you are to heavy for them, a true sigma doesn't are if they get ghosted the word zen means something to me, like what happens next doesn't matter

[@ajt0319]

True, I don’t care when I’m ghosted - I actually send out a “thank you” to the ghost-er, even if that’s only in my own being.

[@MelvinCowan-fr3un]

Wow, I needed this today! “If I am too much, go find less.” Today’s lesson helped to provide empowering clarity and affirming validation. Thank you!

[@MBAinternetmktg]

Great video, thank you!

[@casablanca3830]

Superb!!! Thanks.

[@Beecosy]

Thank you, I so needed to hear this right now. I thought I was invisible, but it was actually my intensity that led to me being ghosted. The fear of missing out has kept me stuck. Time to let go.💜

[@jacksonjazzy1999]

You are always so deeply on point!

[@debbiemondragon3144]

Wow, well, this explains alot!

[@maanappelman6692]

Wow thank you for this, this really makes me feel seen. I feel like this video really got to the core and these are always ongoing themes for me. You always make videos that resonate but this one really stood out to me 😊

[@bennyregohos1650]

Spot on!

[@belladonna2104]

Thank you Wenzes for letting us feel okay about being intense. I feel like a rich food that people can't take too much of sometimes 🍰

[@NCTVHQ]

Thanks!

[@Richard77014]

Благодарю! Ваши видео очень полезны!

[@aakkk7016]

Brilliantl

[@rachelschappacher1100]

Thank you. 😇

[@keifer3795]

👌🏿Truth..

[@MDWavemaster]

I feel like I have something from every trait. Not all but almost all videos like this. Resonate with me on some level. Everything you've said in here has happened to me. So what do I do? How do I figure out what I am so I can continue down that road?

[@juliusmuhumuza3018]

HALLELUJAH 🙌

[@marcp.1752]

It's would being best, to find another INFJ, lady in that case. All other MTBi types seem to not understand the INFJ so much...

[@thedopeone96]

We're too real for people that's what it really be lbvs 🤣

[@mayhawthorn5092]

I keep thinking something is wrong with me! This is helpful to hear.

[@IRACAROLINA2001]

😍

[@jeem8760]

For those who are single...Wenzes why don't you make a dating app for us? ... coz I bet everybody is way too tired to just waste time

[@april2702]

I AM AN INFJ & A ♓️😂💜👑

[@kevinyarusso326]

Haven’t talked to someone for 5 years…they are gonna ghost me now? Lol OK. Don’t let the truth get in the way of your story. I have not been honest? People on drugs are one way .. and when they sober up they act different. If that confuses someone… that’s on them. It doesn’t all fall on me.. I just am not gonna carry a connection. They may be a good/decent person, but not a good person to me! Period. I am not into mind games and tomfoolery! Give them space to be themselves and then you can decide if that is something you desire.

[@sapphireacquarose8452]

🤯🤯🤯🤯

[@alih5623]

Please use time stamps

[@friedaholmes3782]

Well, Don't Tell the WHOLE TRUTH Wenzes in a Society That Appreciates Pretense lol! Mystic Star Seed 777/ INFJ/Hermit Opportunist 2/4

[@marsellem6175]

What's an IFNJ?

[@hansanipelpola7621]

What is the meaning of intensity you mentioned here?

[@judykairu8246]

I believe She meant be over caring over loving dropping all your goodies😅 like being tò much and some people cant take it

[@beIETian]

Im INFJ dating a man who is same INFJ , it is scary how deep it develops, however he feels unsure with me. I allow the time to develop his feelings. Problem is in our 40s theres a feeling of time is running away.

[@mayhawthorn5092]

Omg social ostrisiation

[@nwbest4336]

You've done this topic before. This is a repeat.

[@stevelamhang9547]

Sorry but no time and energy for infj games. Infjs too complicated and life is short to deal with you all. Life is simple and you make it so complex

[@sisijames]

Cue INFJ diabolical laughter at your comment 😂😂😂

[@GrafinVonHopper]

A vida é simples? Talvez você é quem é raso demais.

[@djackman4229]

"If I'm too much, go find less".

[@Verdeoxid]

Thank you so much, very useful ✨🪽

[@endpoint76]

Thanks!