5 Signs You Are Non-Binary

[@lynnsaga1397]

I hope you all enjoyed the video. Let me know what helped you figure out you're non-binary!

[@jadapinkyjoseph5254]

I'm non-binary and yes I question my gender

[@godseed7984]

You helped me figure out I'm not. But didn't think I was. Although you did raise a lot more questions. I hope you read my comment and perhaps address my questions in a future video.

[@darengardner9351]

thank you for this video the way you explaned how non binary people experiance life has helped me understand my friend erin and what they has to deal with on a daily basis i have always supported erin and after watching your videos i understand erins situation better and hopefully be even more supportive

[@SM-fk7tf]

@@jadapinkyjoseph5254 non binary isn’t a real thing, you can be born a man or woman, nothing else. If you ever question your gender, look inbetween your legs. You’ll then arrive on planet earth!

[@arolemaprarath6615]

@@jadapinkyjoseph5254 same but I'm a pig. I identify as a pig. It means I am exempted from taxes, bills, etc If you insist, the you are a bigotted animal abuser.

[@VanessaMarieBooks]

I'm cisgender, and I've never questioned my identity. I've always felt like a girl/woman (even though I went through a little bit of a "tomboy" period as a kid), I've always identified as female. I watch these videos mainly to understand other people better and their experiences, so thank you for sharing. 💗

[@InfuzeDcyphR]

You're awesome as an ally.

[@VanessaMarieBooks]

@@InfuzeDcyphR I try. 😊 I wish more people would too. This world could be a lot better for everyone if people tried to understand and respect others rather than acting out of fear & trying to control.

[@beebeecee669]

Well you can't feel like something you've never been. That's my confusion with trans and nb people.

[@VanessaMarieBooks]

@@beebeecee669 Have you tried talking with trans and/or nb people and listen to how they feel?

[@myplaylist7007]

Your a woman, not a cis ( Cyst ? )

[@EggsToYourBacon]

The playing dress up thing actually applies to me more than the others. I enjoy dressing feminine because it highlights my body, but other times I feel really uncomfortable with it. It wouldn't be as bad if I has a more masc body.

[@little_pretty_little_dead]

Exactly! This is what I came here to say! Kindred spirits!

[@thebrutaljudge9883]

it just means (LIKE ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD) that sometimes you feel more at ease with yourself and some other times not !..... nothing else..... everybody sometimes feel hotter than some other day and it has nothing to do with being a female or a male..... + stop comparing yourself to others and you'll start feeling WAY BETTTTEER !!!!!

[@EggsToYourBacon]

@@little_pretty_little_dead kindred spirits!!

[@C-White-88]

​@@little_pretty_little_dead I wish I had a kindred spirit.

[@GrilAnimates]

OMG THIS IS ME!!!

[@archyneverpicked]

"Just wanting to be seen as me" Hit the nail on the head. This is how I've been thinking about myself for the longest time. Not a man, not a woman, just me. Really validating to hear it from someone else

[@Lisa-pw2he]

I have ruthlessly felt this way since I was about 5 years old. "Just wanting to be seen as me." And rejecting male and female stereotypes. People tell me I'm beautiful, and I think to myself, "What does that have to do with anything. That's nothing to do with who I am." See, that's the key; we are all simply individuals, but it doesn't change the fact that we are born with XX or Xy chromosomes and therefore female or male. This "non-binary" is just artifice covering for feeling uncomfortable with oneself and with conventional society. We don't need to make up words in order to be different than the norm. The truth is that humanity is filled with infinite expressions of self. But denying reality is, also, not helpful.

[@mayanose7875]

That’s just what I feel like. I just see people as people not genders. I don’t see myself as gender either. Wow I’m non binary.

[@queenofspiders]

Okay I just “feel like me” but don’t need to go around demanding that others perceive me how I want to be perceived, you can be who you are without demanding compliance from others.

[@lynx9704]

Nobody can see you juat as "you". What's wrong in being a man or woman? Nothing!

[@lynx9704]

@@Lisa-pw2he And coincidentally, only non europeans " feel this way" , since they're not brainwashed with idiotic propaganda that is there to help them wipe themselves out of existence.

[@9-VoltGaming]

The pronoum thing is complicated to me because my main language does not have a neutral pronoum so I need to pick one, so I just go with the male one for simplicity, but I love using "they" in english

[@HermayonieHernandez]

Same

[@HermayonieHernandez]

Btw i use she/they pronouns but people can use any pronouns im chill about it

[@KatGhostDrawz]

same-

[@9-VoltGaming]

@Philip Kirby The generic argument of "there's only 2 genders" doesn't really invalidate non binary people because being non binary isn't really a gender, is the lack of one. Calling it a gender is like calling Atheism a religion so... You take a class now. Plus even going with biology, gender and sex are two different things even in biology.

[@1Jason]

The pronoun stuff is a load of nonscence.

[@FlyerBowman]

As a kid I hated when my mum would force me into a dress. Not because of the way I looked but because of the way I was expected to act when I was wearing one. I suddenly had to be quiet, well behaved and be extra polite to everyone despite my feelings towards them. My brothers never had to go through this, they still got to run around and have fun like I would if I was wearing pants. I hated being treated differently because of my gender and have people think I was physically inferior. So when I was 22 I moved out of home for work in another city and I started living how I wanted to away from my family and it was an incredibly freeing experience. I started looking in the mirror and not see a female looking back. It's taken some time, but I'm finally feeling comfortable with my non binary identity to start coming out to people.

[@ServusChristi777]

You are still just female.

[@ServusChristi777]

@Jay Blue I understand that you will not give up your delusion, but it doesn't change reality.

[@andrea446]

It sounds like she distorted your view of what a woman should be like and that's why you're questioning whether you are one. There are so many ways of being a man or woman. Just dressing a certain way and not being quiet and polite doesn't make you a different gender (im not a transphobe because im trans myself)

[@mysryuza]

Oof that hit close to home a little bit

[@ErikWagner-qq5vl]

I'm sorry that your mother forced gender roles on you, but what clothes you like or how you behave in general has nothing to do with your gender. It only comes from your body. You are still a woman.

[@lumy60]

I questioned my gender for many years. In reality, I am cisgender ! The problem wasn't about my gender but about another difference : my autism. So I had the impression to not be a woman and neither a man because I felt different.

[@biohead66]

More ppl must acknowledge this.

[@dropdeadjuno]

I feel like this could play a big part in my gender journey. I’ve always just accepted she/her and being called a girl/female because it’s “just what I was.” Relating to your comment- I also want an autism diagnosis, since there is a high chance I have that. But in a way, I think being autistic has helped me feel less “normative” anyways and that it makes it feel easier to be more me instead of stuffing myself into a box

[@sundaysims]

i think my neurodivergent traits have made me look at the world differently, i don’t really understand the gender binary like a neurotypical would so it would make sense that i don’t relate or see myself fitting in to a binary - it is simply incompatible with how my brain perceives society and the world. i’ve always just been >this

[@nova4476]

@sundaysims i relate to this so much!! getting doctors to take me seriously is an uphill battle being AFAB. but i think it definitely has a lot to do with the way i perceive the concept of gender. i just don’t understand it and i don’t feel drawn to any particular label.

[@gulpispulp]

I have OCD and I’m trying to figure out if I’m experiencing intrusive thoughts or if this is who I am lol

[@angelicabasque1749]

I remember when I stopped shaving my legs/underarms, and one of the first things my mom asked is if I was "making a statement" or what have you. It's a mix of "Having my natural hair grow out feels better", and "Men don't have to shave their body, why the hell do I need to?". I'm still trying to figure out if I'm NB or just GNC. There's something so comforting and liberating about styling myself in the way that I want, that makes me feel comfortable, happy, and confident.

[@DarthLesbian]

omfg, deciding you dont feel like shaving doesn't make you NB for fucks sake

[@user-th7lu2yf7n]

@@DarthLesbian why don't you let them explore themselves in peace?

[@DarthLesbian]

@@user-th7lu2yf7n What’s to explore? The depths of their naval? If you want peace dont post your stupidity in public forums

[@nforne]

@@user-th7lu2yf7n It’s difficult to watch young girls clutching at the lifeline being offered to them by cultists on the non-binary boat, when we know they'd turn out perfectly fine without it. All they have to do is be themselves, dress however they want, shave or not shave, make-up or no make-up, and not worry about new fads like pronouns, labels and identities. They'll be fine. Honestly.

[@yochiartz2839]

im sorry but “making a statement” got me dying cuz my mom keeps questioning y im “rebelling” to what makes a women 😭

[@lilykatmoon4508]

I’m in my early 50s, and I’m so grateful for channels Like yours to help me make sense of most of my life when the language we have now didn’t exist. Neither did the availability of resources to learn about differences in gender identity or the exposure to others like ourselves. I’ve only had the language to start to understand my queer identity these past four years. The agony I experienced growing up expected to act like a girl and wear dresses from my mom just pissed me off. I, too, went through a more feminine phase briefly in high school, but I have always been attracted to more “weird” fashion trends having been influenced by punk, the wild stylings of the 80s, goth, and grunge. I was also diagnosed autistic four years ago and learning a lot of us in the spectrum identify as NB or GNC makes so much sense for understanding myself and past struggles. I just discovered your channel and will definitely be catching up on content. I’m not sure where my journey of discovery will end, and that doesn’t really matter because I’m starting g to love and accept myself as is. Thanks again ❤

[@JoJoTheModern]

High five! My 46th birthday is next month, and I only realized in 2019 that everything I experienced fit the *nonbinary* experience. I saw nonbinary people talking about how they felt and saw things, and I was like, oh... I thought everyone was like that. 😂 Never too late to learn about yourself!

[@greenhippie5360]

Wow, I never thought of the whole "dress-up" feeling as being a non-binary thing before, but now it seems like it should have been so obvious! Wearing formal attire has always felt uncomfortable and awkward for me because it's so gendered. Even if I like how I look I always fee like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.

[@BlackRoyalty-hh8tb]

I feel the same way

[@AnnabethOwl]

Yea I feel the same way… I recently just told my uncles girlfriend(it seems weird but I told her because I don’t see her that often and she was the most supportive of what ever I did). I wrote a story about me being lesbian and I made the main character dysphoric. She said she can help me get a chest binder without my parents knowing❤. It took me so long to find out because I don’t remember much of my childhood but I remember my parents never cared about gender so they let me get a pixie cut and they let me get masculine clothing. It wasn’t until puberty that I started feeling really uncomfortable and the 6th grade locker room, oh my lord…. That was a disaster I wanted to run, I dreaded gym because of the locker room. I still don’t know how to tell my parents though.

[@katelyngochenour8019]

"Even if I like how I look I always feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not." This really resonates with me. I actually wrote that down and am going to bring the quote to therapy because it explains how I feel so well. Thank you!

[@SRHisntSilent]

Oml I felt like that for so long Now I dress how I feel

[@Lyn-m8j]

Just don't wear formal attire Unless forced to and then don't.

[@jaelove.bts7]

I completely related to the "dress up" part and the body dysmorphia part. I remember as a kid I would always wonder why I had to wear a dress to church when some kids wore pants and a shirt and when I was told it was bc I was a girl, it always felt so off for some reason. It was also in my junior year of hs, I was trying on dresses for a school dance and I just genuinely didn't think I should have been wearing a dress. And everytime my mom had me wear a new one I just felt more and more out of my body, and I ended up just settling on one I liked enough to wear. Took me 4 years later till now to realize that I just want people to stop associating me as a girl. it's still hard to come to terms with but I'm trying not to feel disappointed with myself about it.

[@Lyn-m8j]

For my grade 6 leavers my ex-mother tryed to force me to wear a dress i argued that I wanted to wear a suit instead, and in the end I went to my grade 6 leavers wearing a half suit half skirt and the idea of killing my self and bitchy teacher for the 8th time that month. Worst year of my life.

[@Seapatico]

As someone who either didn't experience disphoria (or wasn't aware of it), the two biggest signs to me were: 1. Being obsessed with queer representation and content in all forms. I always kind of wished I was gay because things would have made more sense, lol. But being femme/androgynous attracted, that never fit. Turns out it's because I'm nonbinary and queer. 2. Gender euphoria!

[@lynnsaga1397]

Yes! Both of these are big signs and I definitely think there needs to be a bigger conversation around gender euphoria ☺️

[@eleonorguanipa]

Why is this me?

[@quittedmakinganewchannel.7095]

69 likes

[@Kaidoezthings]

When I found out Non Binary & Androgyne was a thing, I wished that was me because it seemed to fit me. But I felt like it wasn't me because I was a girl. And that was it. But then I started to look into more stuff, and now I realize that I'm Non Binary. I also prefer looking Androgynous. ;3

[@clouddy4836]

Is being obsessed with queer representation rly a sign!? I’m bisexual but I’ve especially recently been quite obsessed with researching abt trans and non-binary idk I hate being a woman but mostly just because if drama, periods, sexism, etc. I’ve also hated my boobs and tried two bra binding but I feel like that’s just me being self conscious

[@NoxAtlas]

I struggled my whole life to find my true gender identity because everyone kept telling me "you can either be a man or woman" but I always wanted to look like a completely androgynous person and having no genitals. Being referred to as a man or woman made me cringe every time but it was so difficult to understand why I felt that way. And coming out as nonbinary was literally the most wonderful feeling that I ever experienced

[@lynnsaga1397]

I'm happy you found the word! I also agree coming out was the best thing to happen to me

[@fingerscrossed2453]

What you dress like shouldn't influence your gender identity. I'd argue that you are shallow if you think it does. I do not identify as a lycanthropist if I dress as a werewolf for Halloween.

[@elfieinblack4618]

The two biggest signs for me were 1) I felt really odd in public bathrooms. Every time I’d go into the women’s restroom I’d feel terrified for no reason and not come out until everyone else in the bathroom was gone. I was so scared that someone would call me out for being in the wrong bathroom, even though I was to all the world a woman. I subconsciously knew I didn’t belong there. 2) I always felt too feminine to be “one of the boys”, despite desperately wanting to be. But at the same time I felt way too masculine to be “one of the girls”. Whenever I was with a group of women I felt so manly by comparison that I felt like an outsider. But I felt the reverse with all my guy friends. It’s very frustrating.

[@illusrin]

Same. I'm afab and still trying to figure out how I want to present, because feminine things are very comforting to me but I know I'm not a girl or boy. It makes me uncomfortable when people read me as a girl but I don't want to be read as a boy because that isn't who I am either. It's frustrating how people see feminine as = girl :(

[@elfieinblack4618]

@@illusrin I totally get it dude. Im afab too. If it makes you feel better, your presentation doesn’t matter almost at all to cis people. If you’re afab non-binary they’ll still call you “she/her/ma’am”, no matter how well you pass/how andro you present (or at least that’s my experience. I’m super andro and I’ve never had anyone not default to she/her). I think cis people have some sort of super power where they can tell right away your assigned gender and never forget it or get past it. So dress however you want, you’ll get misgendered either way! 😂😭 In all seriousness, I feel for you. It’s a struggle for sure. So far the best solution I’ve found is pronoun pins. If people don’t respect your pronouns even when they’re literally spelled out for them then those people are just rude. Good luck friend

[@calli.gio82]

I remember getting to middle school and thinking when I went to the girls bathroom that is was in the boys. I felt so off and I would always get scared to go.

[@cheezesmoker8851]

@@illusrin you are either a girl or boy, theres no question i can feel like an apache helicopter and "identify" as one. Does that magically make me a helicoptwr and not a human male? Hope u sort your head out and get in reality at some point

[@godseed7984]

Well public restrooms are dirty and dangerous places. I suspect NO ONE feels comfortable in them. Why did you want to be one of the boys in the first place?

[@happylucky13]

The one that really sold it to me is the fact that I just want people to see me as *me*. I first felt this when a friend of mine was designing a character to resemble me and asked the question “do you want them to be a girl or a boy?” My immediate response was “I just want them to be like me.” This was before I even started questioning my gender!

[@Mel-wn9gb]

Welcome to the club, where all of humanity is just themselves. So explain how that makes you 'nonbinary', given that you're no different from anyone else?

[@myrtila]

I recently started questioning my gender after ranting to my friends about gender roles. I hate (for myself - respect it when other people choose to live this way) having to put feminine clothes, being submissive, more emotional than males , expected to marry, have a family and devote my life to my children and my husband, while my beloved husband does barely nothing at home and is free to be himself and pursue his interest outside of work. I crave intellectual bonding with people. I’m not a “she”. I’m a person, my person

[@antonscorner]

just because you don't conform to gender expectations doesn't mean you're not a woman actually i'm not trying to invalidate you in any way (i'm also questioning myself) but just thought of putting this out there for you to know

[@Black-io1uc]

That's definitely internalized misogyny. Everything you said is sexist. Talk to a therapist if you can. Disliking what is expected of women, doesn't make you less of a woman. You don't have to do what is expected of you, you can do anything you want and still be a woman.

[@myrtila]

@@Black-io1uc well, i kind of agree that this doesn't make me less of a woman. I'm generally questioning myself. But how is that misogyny? I never said or insinuated that women are less capable. Elaborate yourself please

[@Black-io1uc]

@@myrtila Believing that you probably aren't a woman because you don't wish to be and do everything you've listed that is expected from women, when in reality most young women don't want all of that. Suggesting that you can't have an "intellectual bonding with people" as a woman sounded pretty sexist as well.

[@Black-io1uc]

@E V I never said it was disrespectful or judgemental. The way she sees women doesn't offend me, but it does sounds like internalized misogyny and disliking of gender expectations which is the reason why many young girls want to identify with another gender. Something to consider.

[@greybey4385]

I actually realized that I often feel uncomfortable with people talking about me with she/her pronouns. At first, I thought it was just because I generally feel uncomfortable with people talking about me in third person, but then again, when they use my name, it actually feels more ... right. It acutally baffles me that I can somehow relate to all these signs.

[@user-fr1fi1uy1z]

@@amberrose2597 ???

[@sheasolo8507]

You're just a spoke as well.

[@liviwaslost]

@@amberrose2597 oh shut up.

[@simkitties2727]

@@snorlaxxxxxxxxxr Can SOMEONE explain how its weird /nm

[@snorlaxxxxxxxxxr]

@@simkitties2727 alright explain this to me, how can someone feel uncomfortable when other people are using their biological pronouns? you don’t hear someone use your pronouns because if the other person was talking to you directly they WOULD use your name…. pronouns are used when that person isn’t present in the room. that is one of the many reasons why this is all ridiculous

[@imthebossmermaid3648]

Could you make a video about signs that you might be a demigirl? Even though I am a cis girl and comfortable with she/her pronouns(in fact I always tell myself it’s her/she like the chocolate, just for the giggled), I have been questioning this for quite some time. Or if not any videos that I could watch on this topic? Thanks for this and have a nice day!

[@Cookieloafres]

I have schizophrenia I get bullied for being a girl and made me insecure to call myself a girl. Now I’ve learned what non-binary is I feel much better calling myself nonbinary.

[@Aj_idfk]

I never really explored my gender identity but once I did I realized that I was non-binary and now every time someone says she/her I feel it in my gut like a gentle punch

[@mantralibre1367]

How would you want people to address you? They address you the way you look, probably. They're not there to hurt you, i mean. They are just busy. Sex is a perception in somebody else's eyes. And i use sex because most people will always see people as male, or female. Even transexuals. Male or female transexuals.

[@jeanv1352]

@@mantralibre1367 And funny enough all people ARE either male or female.

[@grrgrrgrr0202]

Kind of highlights why this gender ID crap actually isn't helpful at all.

[@albertogutierrez8653]

The problem is not other people. The problem is you. People are not obligated to cooperate in your illusions.

[@chrissmith7563]

get therapy. there's too much goddamn stigma about it still

[@annalolitaestelle5761]

I've just started questioning my gender after years of repressing my discomfort as a woman. Like having a chest makes me feel really wrong and I've never been able to dress how I want because of it, and I've just never really been overly feminine in general. Putting on makeup and doing my hair and looking pretty always felt so fake. I'm not sure if I'm NB or trans but this video really helped validate a lot of my experiences growing up and now. Also fun fact, did you know that women actually like having boobs?? Cause I didn't know that, I thought everyone felt the way I did, but my sisters and mother are totally comfortable with their feminine features 😱💜

[@Exeszs]

I hope you get help. You are just you, no need to mutilate your body or identify as something you are not. There are an infinite number of personalities on this planet. By the way, there are a lot of women who don't like having boobs.... this is complete nonsense.

[@andjelkozlotvor]

Adolescence is a complicated time in a person’s life, dominated by physical and psychological changes. A teenager’s social life can become a source of drama when complexes during adolescence begin to emerge. These complexes are also the result of emotional factors. In addition to the sudden changes in a teenager’s body, the psychological factor of insecurity plays an important role. All of this is exacerbated by the media, who sell young people an ideal image of physical perfection. At this age, boys and girls are very sensitive to the demands imposed by family, the media, and social life. These variables, when combined with their own set of expectations, lead to feelings of doubt, fear and worry. The most common complexes during adolescence As anyone can see, the media sells young people on unattainable physical ideals that can be unrealistic and even dangerous. Girls in particular are susceptible to body weight issues, which are sometimes the result of the extreme thinness they see in celebrities. Meanwhile, boys feel pressure to become more muscular. Similarly, they also absorb ideas about what makes for an attractive face, including a small nose, perfect white teeth, and beautiful skin. Young people become convinced that you need to be “sexy” in order to “be someone.” The list continues with qualities like height and clothing, going on ideas received from Hollywood and the world of advertising. As a result, failure to live up to these empty standards can cause real distress among adolescents. It’s normal for a teenager to be an individualist, since it’s the time of life when people start defining their personalities. Their minds are preparing to exercise independence and build a future for themselves. Complexes During Adolescence: Why They Emerge Seeing the signs Parents and teachers should pay close attention to how adolescents behave. Taken to an extreme, their concern with meeting the aforementioned physical standards can cause significant frustration and suffering. The typical signs of complexes during adolescence include excessive shyness, bad moods, aggressiveness, sadness, and apathy. Being attentive to these signs will allow you to understand the problem and address the changes they’re experiencing with empathy. “Complexes are the results of emotional factors. In addition to the sudden changes in a teenager’s body, the psychological factor of insecurity plays an important role.”

[@astluna]

PEOPLE LIKE HAVING BOOBS?!?!??!?!?!! WTF

[@DSS712]

Hi there, I'm sorry that there have been factors in your life/community that have led you to feel this way about your gender. From a stranger on the internet who probably had a much different life experience and community than you did, I want to clear up a few misconceptions in your comment: 1. Doing one's hair and makeup is not related to being a woman. Women can have short hair or low maintenance hair, and not ever do make up, and they are still valid, normal women. I know many women who are like this. 2. Liking your boobs is not normal or standard for being a woman or being cis. Every woman feels differently about their boobs. This is also normal. Speaking for myself personally, I used to hate my chest as well, but after finding a healthy partner I realized that a lot of my previous insecurities were coming from unrealistic standards that were pushed on me by a variety of factors. I'm in my 30s and have come to wholly accept my droopy uneven gals, as they are just a part of who I am. I live in a country where bath houses are common, and since going to them I have gained a lot more confidence in my body and my womanhood. The room is always full of dozens of women, hair tied up or natural, no makeup, no jewelry, just real, raw women. The media tends to only show us a very specific view of womanhood, but I have now seen with my own eyes that women come in literally all shapes and sizes. It's a beautiful thing!

[@lynx9704]

@@DSS712 The media is corrupt and trashes and supports the destruction of femininity. Stop talking utter garbage, you sound clueless as if you've never seen a woman behave naturally in your entire life.

[@alexgreen8651]

I just dont know aye? Somedays I want to were a skirt and look feminine but a lot o the time I just wear dark androgynous clothing and that feels more like who I am. Thinking back i never felt like i was a girl, i had a pink bike as a kid and i really didn't like it and i would always dress in green and blue and didnt like girly clothes and when I'm with a group of women outside of my immediate freind group i dont feel comfortable and I dont feel like i belong and I really hate it when people call me femine or call me a young woman or things like that. What if I dont want to be a woman. The fourth sign, wanting to be seen as yourself not your gender hit me deep and thats kinda how I've been thinking about myself and my gender identity in my head. I think I will change to she/they pronouns, try it out. I haven't before because there are so many labels that i think i could be and most of them feel right in some ways but I actually just dont have to label my gender. Thank you so much for making these videos Lynn, you've really helped me to realise that I'm asexual and probly also non-binary.

[@Melotinecookies]

Hi I just found this video myself (yay gender crisis) have you ever heard or gender fluid? It means to fluctuate between gender- any gender! Weather girl boy or in between!! I recommend looking into it

[@letter_o_hyphen_letter_o]

I'd say if androgyny is the way you want to be seen, go for it. That's what I'm doing.

[@Dude-dx5ns]

Your gender isn't all that important. Clothing does not define it and not wanting to be a typical girl does not mean you need a new gender

[@im_a_washing_machine582]

Some other people are saying this but have you heard of gender-fluid? If you see this. How is it going?

[@M4lici0us]

EXACTLY

[@wendyjaa]

I'm pretty comfortable with my gender identity, but I'm trying to better understand those that are nonbinary. Plus your smile made me smile!

[@jeanv1352]

Good luck! 😀😀😀

[@eggbath595]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJSnkJafmsyIaLc be uncomfy 😟

[@bathroomcrying8387]

Thanks for this video! I've always wondered why it was so wrong for me as a guy to do "feminine" stuff such as shaving my body hair off legs or wear makeup and a necklace even though that seems completely wrong to put a label on it and I've always worn baggy clothes to make my gender ambiguous and why some things were considered "masculine" and "feminine". At first, I thought I was a women stuck in a man's body, but that didn't feel right, because because I never understood why the things I did were feminine even thought they seemed completely normal. This confused me for so long until I realised, "Wait, why am I thinking whether I'm completely a 'man' or 'woman'. Gender is an entire spectrum, it would be wrong to put myself at one extreme end or the other," And now, I think I'd feel more comfortable as just being a person, despite whether I'm masculine or feminine, and never hold my desires back due to social roles and labels.

[@devss4982]

Well we share experiences

[@koreywitabagg665]

That’s interesting I’m a woman and I’ve always loved masculine things and even though I’ve had feminine traits I’ve always had more masculine traits so I definitely relate to that. Society has made it so if your one particular gender you can’t be a tomboy or a Demi boy without identifying one or the other. I personally believe that just because you act more feminine or masculine doesn’t mean you don’t have to be a boy or a girl. It’s okay to be a Demi girl and tomboy.

[@Black-io1uc]

Nah dude, you're just a man who likes feminine stuff and that's fine.

[@Black-io1uc]

@@koreywitabagg665 Prefering masculine things doesn't make you less of a woman.

[@ElleBlackk]

We're basically the same person, lol. 😭😂

[@vasundarakrishnan4093]

"Trying to find yourself in your reflection." This is so true for me. All my life I felt my body was inconsistent with who I was in my mind. I don't know how to put it but it just felt wrong.

[@kathyroux7386]

Same here

[@purplekitten6637]

I so agree on that whole thing of feeling uncomfortable when someone tells you that you're turning into such a beautiful young woman. I actually used to throw temper tantrums when I was four and people called me a pretty girl.

[@Feisenbach]

Then be an ugly girl, who cares? The point is, you ARE a girl!

[@kevinhorry4182]

So your not a girl? You don’t have a v*gina?

[@sultanmufleh2905]

your the prettiest girl I have ever met

[@astolat2262]

​@@sultanmufleh2905buzz off troll😊

[@lupicalmoon]

I find it ironic how this video came up first when I’m starting to doubt myself. I went through the similar experience as starting off using gender fluid and then felt more comfortable using non-binary. I personally prefer the term queer but I’ll still use non-binary if people are specifically curious about my identity. I’m quite comfortable with either she/he/they pronouns and I was in a pretty comfortable space for awhile, but lately I’ve been almost gaslighting myself I guess? As someone who’s assigned FMAB I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my femininity, and sometimes when I walk past women I feel almost ashamed that I’m not this fully shaven, long haired individual who’s wearing a lovely dress or a cute skirt. It just messes with my head and I start asking whether I’m just pretending to be NB, but the thought of identifying as a woman just physically doesn’t feel right. On top of that I’ve been dealing with thoughts like ‘What if no one wants to be in a relationship with you because you’re not a woman? You have to look like one if you want love, if you deserve it. Maybe you should wax your body again so you’re more attractive.’. It’s mentally exhausting and I feel so lost and alone. I know it’s just me overthinking but it’s still upsetting to experience. Sometimes I wish I never addressed my feelings towards the binary, because maybe then it would have been easier and in some fucked up way I would be ‘better’ and more palatable to society if I wasn’t me. I’m currently not very open about my NB identity, compared to sexuality there is still a long way to go before it’s seen as something as common as being gay. However, this video helped remind me that I’m valid as I am and if people choose to not even associate with me for simply being myself then I’m better off without people like that. It’s still hard navigating who I am especially since my gender expression varies from being fluid to androgynous. Even though gender expression and gender identity aren’t the same it can still be invalidating when who you are and how you want to look doesn’t fit what society has deemed ‘right’. Thank you for the comfort the video brought. ❤️ Hope everyone is doing okay 🌸 Hug 4 u 🫂💞🏳️‍🌈

[@cheezesmoker8851]

Alls this video has done has made you a weaker stranger person who actively seeks out whatever they want to believe at the time based on your feelings, you are either born a male or female period. It doesnt matter what you feel like at all, your either male or female

[@lisettex123]

@@cheezesmoker8851 Asking out of curiosity… how would you personally classify people who were born as intersex?

[@winterlove9892]

I can relate so much to the "you have to look like a woman if you want love" part. I'm so scared that boys doesn't want to date me because I look too masculine or people in general if I look and say I'm NB, this is so hard and now that I read your comment I don't feel so lonely. now I know there's more people in the same situation. I hope everything gets better for u! pd: I don't speak English so I'm sorry if I spelled something wrong.

[@cheezesmoker8851]

@@winterlove9892 you should be worried about it

[@winterlove9892]

@@cheezesmoker8851 oh darling, I really don't care what YOU think but thanks for sharing your opinion with us

[@lukanight666]

Signs if you nb: 1.You aren't comfortable with gender pronouns 2.You over analyse your body 3.You feeling like playing dress up 4.You just want to be seen as you 5.Questioning your gender (Also,thanks for the video,Lynn,it was very informative :3)

[@SpeedStrike]

Uh oh that might be me

[@XxLucaTheBucaxX]

When I was younger, I always knew something was wrong. It started when I was about ten years old and i wasnt comfortable in she/her pronouns anymore. It was kinda surprising me bc when I was in kindergarten and elementary school i always was very girly and when my grandma picked me up id say "i am so glad i am a girl!" At this time i knew about trans bc i was informing myself in the Internet like all the time bc i wanted to find a label for me. Soon I found out about trans people and was like "Yes, that must be me! I am not comfortable in she/her so that must be me!" At the time i didnt know about non binary or atleast i thought i had to be binary. I watched many trans documentations but somehow i couldnt relate to them. I knew about non binary but like i said i never thought i could identify with it. And when i tried he/him i didnt really feel good with it. It felt better but still not right. Some time goes by and when i was just walking and minding my own business a bloody 7 y o girl asks me "you a boy or a girl??" I didnt want to answer and thats when i realised i was non binary. It was mind blowing and everything finally made sense! Now i go by they them but my ass is still closeted and its also kinda difficult with gender neutral pronouns in germany. Good Luck y all!

[@joyeetaghosh2209]

Why did she/ her pronoun made you uncomfortable and he / him doesn't I also sometimes don't like doing girly things or feminine things

[@XxLucaTheBucaxX]

@@joyeetaghosh2209 I don't EXCACTLY know why I just know that its not me.

[@joyeetaghosh2209]

@@XxLucaTheBucaxX I have a very personal question from you since I'm also trying to find my identity whether your people around disrespect you for just being a girl ar restrict you from doing things bcs that's not what girls do

[@joyeetaghosh2209]

@@XxLucaTheBucaxX or forced you to do certain girly things which you don't want to do

[@joyeetaghosh2209]

@@XxLucaTheBucaxX or are do you don't like call you she / her bcs of certain things being associated with being girl or woman

[@LoveTheVoid-lg4ss]

I remember it all started for me on one summer vacation i spend in a small strict religious village as a child (where my parents were born). I was confronted with the typical male/female stereotypes and it just felt so terribly wrong to me. I questioned if I was maybe trans or if I just wanted the same rights for women as there were for men or was I just weird... I just didn't understand why women were considered as the service staff for men, we didn't even chose the gender we were born with. It just never made sense to me. And every year I had to deal with all that stuff like as a girl you have to wear a pretty dress, you have to act polite, you have to cook and serve the men of the family and so on. Today I'm 23 yers old and I would still consider myself as a woman but I really don't care about my pronouns or anything, I just wanna be able to wear what I want and if I can't be myself I'm simply not going on that damn wedding, birthday or anything else.

[@frozenlillypad2070]

Me: Listening with full attention *Cat walks into frame* Me: Looses all attention 😍 *Cat leaves* Me: Full attention again *Cat comes back* Me: Desperately tries to not get distracted... Fails

[@funnyfails1275]

You are so so so different. So quirky🤪. You are not like all the other ones. Always distracted😂🤪

[@frozenlillypad2070]

@funnyfails1275 Nuh, lots of people react the way I do, its why I commented it. Too find people who think the same. If anyones trying to be unique its clearly you. You want to hate. Go against the grain. Why else would you comment on a video like that I truly do wonder what your life is like, to enjoy being a horrible person on the internet. Were you raised/still being raised in a bad household? I bet someone has told you to stop trying to be unique. So you started doing the same to others, who are actually genuinely being themselves. But you dont know. You were raised differently. Told to shun anyone different to you. To assume they are just trying to be "unique" Lol. Have a nice day whoever you are. Probably 9 year old or something. That would be funny

[@lucaspeltier4421]

That was the big one, where every piece of clothing I put on felt like dress up. My mom and sister growing up were lesbians and I didn't grow up with a father so I always felt more in touch with the girl binary when I was younger and then I spent from 16-22 trying to push those feelings aside and being what my family saw me as. It wasn't until I met my partner that I started even questioning myself. Now, I can wear whatever I want and be who I am however I present at 26 and it took a long time, and I still have a lot of personal questions but these sorts of videos really help validate my feelings when I'm feeling confused. Thank you, Lynn!

[@bradchervel5202]

Sounds like you were indoctrinated into being whatever it is you claim you are

[@Rotemix]

Thank you. In the end you mentioned the uncertainty that is just always there, and I feel it too. That is why I thank you, because you've helped me eliminate a great deal of it and you've given me somebody to relate to. So thank you, really. Keep doing what you do.

[@Josephine_de_Beauharnais1763]

I remember when I was younger I'd ask my mom how she knew my dad was the one, she said she just knew. I later, when I started realizing I didn't feel attraction towards anyone, asked my mom how she knew she liked guys, she said she just knew. Even later I was questioning womanhood and she said she "felt" like a woman. But I don't understand that. I've never "felt" like a gender, they don't matter to me (I of course respect other people's pronouns). When I found out what an asexual was, I thought "I'm still young, even if that matches me right now, it won't in the future" (influence from media expecting heteronormativity). Later I found out what an aromantic was, and it resonated with me, and I guess I know what my mom meant when she said she "felt straight". I started seriously questioning my gender literally just a few days ago, and this resonates with me. I never thought I'd come out online before coming out to my family (if I'll even do that), but non-binary aroace seems to fit quite well. And the community seems really nice too. Thanks for the assistance.

[@Black-io1uc]

It's actually extremely common for our generation (if you're gen z or millenial) to question their gender. Most people don't "feel" their gender, they just accept what they were born with and live their lifes. Not "feeling" your gender, doesn't mean that you must be something else, it's normal.

[@Aroaceenby]

I'm glad you figured out who you are!

[@mrknarf4438]

It's good you've found a place you feel well, but don't stop questioning - what you feel changes over time, and if you get too attached to a label and a community and start making it part of your personality it can stick with you even if your heart ever tells you otherwise. Look for good people, look for their character, not the way they label themselves.

[@Josephine_de_Beauharnais1763]

@Mr Knarf I know that. I always question myself and my identity. It's just really nice to know I'm not some weirdo, and other people also feel how I feel. If I ever feel something different, cool. I thought I was pan or bi before, and I found something more comfortable now. Labels are like clothes, I'll keep trying on different ones till I find one that fits, or I'll stitch an already made one or make a whole new outfit. It just depends on how I feel. Flexibility is important. Willingness to accept new ideas and concepts is what allows for progress. I try to keep that in mind when going about conceptualizing complex topics like human identity

[@youngjellyfish8694]

Thank you so much for this video! I’ve honestly been questioning my gender for a good 3 or 4 months, and this video kind of put some things into perspective (I also have had teensy moments of questioning every once and a while for at least 2 years now, but it hasn’t been prevalent until this year) I relate to a lot of these, especially the “I just wanna be me” part. But im having a difficult time coming to a final decision on this both due to general apathy/disconnect from how I feel about my body (which could either be a sign of non-cis feelings, or it could be the opposite depending on how I interpret that feeling). I’ve been wondering to myself: “do I feel non-binary, or do I just want to not be pressured into traditional gender roles?”, and I have a hard time answering that question. plus I have a fear of rejection if people don’t believe me or understand me, and a fear of making a decision too early and then feeling guilty if I make the wrong decision. While I still haven’t come to a final decision this sure did help!

[@Kevin-eq1yc]

Im having a similar problem! Sometimes I don’t know if I’m making things up and being misogynistic, or if I don’t want to accept the fact that I may not be cis. I settled on the term demi-girl, for now.

[@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557]

Go to psychiatry it’s called gender dysphoria

[@legoshirocha]

Had some similar situations but finding love and just deeply reflecting about myself I knew at the end I’m just a gay man and sometimes I just like to be more feminine and bubbly with my closest friends and my partner and I feel more comfortable being masculine when I’m in public or with family members because I don’t like to call attention and personally being masculine just feels good with me as well. Yes at one point on my 20s I felt conflicted being a man and not expressing my femininity as I wanted to. Today I’m proud to be a man and just because I’m feminine as well doesn’t make me less if a man. Being a man is not about being masculine, it’s so much more. And finally I’m feeling way more at peace with myself day by day 😌✌🏻!!!!

[@youngjellyfish8694]

@@legoshirocha thank you for sharing your experiences! It’s great to know that there are other people in the world like me who share similar feelings to me, since it helps me feel less alone, and helps me understand myself a bit better.

[@legoshirocha]

@@youngjellyfish8694 glad I helped ☺️!!! Honestly I don’t necessarily understand non binary people, sometimes they contradict themselves the more I watch different point of views but hey if that’s what they want then you do you boo. At one point I really thought I was trans but I did a really well deep self reflection before proceeding forward so at the end I knew I wasn’t trans because unlike trans I never suffered dysphoria as a kid, honestly I was just being a kid I just didn’t worry about gender but I did have some feminine gestures and I thing that was an early sign I was a gay boy 😅. But my dysphoria only showed until my late teens, then I became gender fluid and at the end after my 25 and with some help I just realized I’m just a gay men who is feminine yet masculine and that will never make me less of a man. It’s the toxic mentality and ideology of the alpha male what is wrong and I try to disassociate with people like that. I’m happy a gay men wether being masculine and hairy or feminine and wear make up at times. Trust me at least for me accepting my body just the way it is, it just helped a lot with the nonsense and unnecessary confusion.

[@supertwin1000]

I don’t understand why people can’t just reject the stereotypes that they feel surround their sex. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman who doesn’t like dresses. It doesn’t mean you’re not a woman.

[@petersaysthings]

Did you even watch the video? It’s about more than just not liking dresses.

[@hitotsuworldllc5352]

#3 hits me hard... "Playing dress up" is totally what it felt like. And what helped me figure out I'm non-binary is that I tended to like (and wanted to be like) nonbinary anime characters XD

[@lynnsaga1397]

Honestly I should’ve know when all the characters I loved as a child were androgynous and/or cross dressed lol

[@jamiejosh96]

So you didn’t like stereotypical women’s clothes……. Still female. It’s called style

[@mightynel]

man, these anime kids. its always you guys that are changing your gender to chicken sandwiches and candy wrappers

[@liviwaslost]

I’ve always felt like that when I went to church. Instead of wearing a dress I went for the more comfortable option of wearing a blouse and jeans.

[@babyyoda7417]

I was assigned male at birth, I’ve always been uncomfortable being in the gender binary, I used to think I was a trans girl, but I also felt uncomfortable with that too, now I identify as Nonbinary agender Edit: I’m 14, and people always tell me I’m growing up to be a beautiful young man, I hate being told that because that’s not how I identify, it makes me feel more dysphoric, I look like a boy, and others sometimes mistake me for a boy, but sometimes since I’m growing out my hair, I get mistaken as a girl, I hate that too Edit 2: Still nonbinary, but genderfluid specifically now

[@shadowss360]

I have been growing my hair and do get mistaken for a girl sometimes but I don't know what I feel I don't mind being called by she/her or he/him but I'm also not sure if I like it. I'm also 14 and don't usually think about gender I kinda just accepted it and stopped thinking about it, but really I've been looking into how genders work and now I really am not sure.

[@simonw.1223]

@@shadowss360 like just identify with your birth sex and just dress however you like. Like I alo dont conform to gender norms

[@agrizic]

You are just mentaly ill.

[@babyyoda7417]

@@shadowss360 You could be Apagender, that’s when you don’t care about your gender

[@kaurpajula2731]

​@@agrizicyou are more

[@Wowza08]

How many of us looked this up during a lil bit of a gender crisis? :p

[@duelmasteryuya1205]

Honestly, this video should have more views haha. I was questioning what does non-binary even mean and now I see the points that you made in the video, I finally understand. It's more focused on you as the identity, not the "masculine" or "feminine" identites that people usually associate with genders. It's more of classing you and what YOU want to be. Thank you for this enlightening video. Btw, although as of right now I categorize myself as a male, I can relate this to myself about having my own identity because I wouldn't say I'm very masculine, but I am not completely feminine either. I don't mind being called a he though, but that doesn't mean others are in the same situation as me, hence the non-binary group. I will start to adapt to calling people by they/them. Again, thank you for answering my questions. You earned a sub 👍

[@DarthLesbian]

So basically exactly the same as ALL men and women who just act like they want without worrying about what society says 😂 Only you have to pretend it makes you special somehow.

[@duelmasteryuya1205]

@@DarthLesbian Yeah I can see what you mean. Telling others that you are something special, such as a non-binary, could be seen as something stupid since many men and women want to be themselves and yet they don't need a special name to be called by. I commend those that don't need to pretend that they are special. But sometimes, being exactly who you are while also being a part of a group that are in the same boat as you, why not be known as a non-binary? It's the truth after all. Besides, not everyone that are proud to be themselves also have a problem with gender. There's Trans men and women, and those people are fine in the mainstream to exist. Not everyone that wants to express themselves are Trans, so why is being known as a non-binary change that? Sure there are people that just want attention, and having a grain of salt for every piece of information is smart, but that doesn't mean you can dismiss everyone because some people ARE what they say they are. I've said my piece.

[@duelmasteryuya1205]

Oop they deleted their comment as soon as I posted mine. Welp I guess they felt bad or something.

[@jankajackiewicz9873]

Thank you so much for this video Lynn, it really helped me to understand feelings I have had about my gender identity/ my body image. Watching you is next small step for me to live as my authentic self.

[@jamiejosh96]

The irony in that last statement is hilarious

[@omikrondraconis5708]

Oh, I recognise myself! This feeling of being forced to play a role that doesn't fit, like my whole identity being a horrific casting fail, was something else. For me, it wasn't just dressing up to pretend to be female, it was also internalising each and every rule imposed on girls and women by whomever bothered to vent their opinion at me, irrespective of the inevitable contradictions and inconsistencies. I have been mostly out for half a year now and I still get constantly better at being just me. Not he, not she, just me :)

[@johnbattle7518]

This is is a woman her pronouns are she/ her

[@omikrondraconis5708]

@@johnbattle7518 you know nothing, John Battle.

[@johnbattle7518]

@@omikrondraconis5708 sure I do, the woman in the video is female, her pronouns are she and her, she also has a vagina

[@astoldbynickgerr]

I SO identify with your comment.

[@countess.5619]

@@omikrondraconis5708 actually he does

[@ShockedHearts]

lets see here. dont like gendered pronouns, check. over-analyze my body, check. dressing like a "man" or "woman" feels like dress-up, check. wanting to be just seen as myself, not as my gender, check. and I did watch this video. so check. yeah im non-binary alright.

[@akaneh1989]

I never really had an issue with she/her, the pronouns of my assigned biological sex that is. But I never had an issue with being mistaken for a guy or addressed as Mr either. At times I even welcomed it! I have a deepish voice with a first name that can be male or female depending on the language,which I love and am proud of. Always have been. I also like how it means "man/manly". I've been having recurring thoughts about my gender too, sometimes more strongly, sometimes less strongly. Most of the times feminine clothing doesn't feel like dressup but makeup does. What comes as a gut punch is any questionnaire with only male/female as gender options. And I never felt completely/fully female. I felt either insufficient/uncomfortable when I really thought hard about it or completely forgot about anything relating my gender and was just being me. I have/had some body image issues, specifically with my breast sometimes, but nothing culminating in selfharm... yet. But I feel you about wanting at least a more neutral bodytype.

[@donpablitojuarez4640]

Im a man and Im comfortable being a man, but I have a more squeaky voice than normal and also Im also smaller than normal, so my friends often make fun of me by calling me a woman lol

[@Subparanon]

Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuinn really got me to think about our social pressure to define people by their gender. Which led to me wondering why we even have gender specific pronouns in the first place. I mean when you think about it, I, and YOU, are important pronouns because when we communicate, it's important to know if a person is talking about themselves, you, or somebody else. That's critical to communicate a thought. But then why if I say "She went to get a cup of coffee" is it so critical to understand the person getting the coffee is female, that we have a word JUST for denoting their gender? Like, is it that a woman getting coffee is a different thing than a man getting coffee? Is it like a holdover from patriarchal society where some people were lesser people so it's like some need to differentiate people based on their class, and their class often followed gender lines with women being more like property? I don't know the answer to any of these questions, but reading that book make me see how weird our society is in the first place. Now the weird thing is that knowing gender pronouns are weird and I don't think we need them, it still feels WEIRD to me to continuously use 'they/them' as a pronoun. I think it's just because we're not used to using those pronouns in that manner. Like they/them is usually used for groups of people not individuals but at the same time they/them seems less personal and more like you're talking about a group of outsiders or somebody that you don't recognize as an equal. This is very subtle stuff. If I said "They got a cup of coffee" that's not disrespectful, but at the same time it's less personal and shows you see that person differently than if you said he/she got a cup of coffee. Like it's more...impersonal I think. Isn't language weird?

[@seanhartnett79]

True. I sometimes slip into they when I am talking about more than one person. And in order to not screw up pronouns I try and use the persons name.

[@lilyhawthorne1196]

You perfectly managed to articulate the reason why I don't like using they/them most of the time without me even realizing there was a reason behind it lol

[@CrapTurret94]

I've been questioning for a pretty long time now, and after identifying with every point in this video... yeah, it might be time to just accept it. Even typing this, I'm looking down at the green and black polish on my nails, and thinking I should really start listening to myself. Anyway, great video, as usual. It's helpful to be able too hear too his stuff from someone who really knows what they're talking about. You're helping a lot of people - myself included - so thank you very much. :)

[@lynnsaga1397]

I’m so glad to have helped! And trust me I definitely understand it taking awhile to accept it

[@IMURSOFTFUZZYMAN]

Small question, is it normal to feel Nonbinary but not show any signs of being nonbinary as a young child? I feel most comfortable identifying as nonbinary, but when I was little I showed absolutely no signs of that. It wasn't until around a year ago I started feeling like I was neither male or female. I've always been extremely feminine (and still am, but I still feel like I'm non binary at the same time) so I feel like maybe I'm wrong, can someone please help me, am I valid or no?

[@mdust8409]

ª , i'm exactly the same . I never had problems with my gender for almost 20 years until now but this last year i'm really struggling with my gender, I feel like I'm demigirl and I'm having chest dysphoria . Yet I never had any serious signs I can recall being a kid .

[@Redddragon]

SOMEONE ANSWER THIS BECAUSE SAME

[@Faithsproductions]

I just had the biggest realization that I've been showing all five of these signs (especially questioning if I'm a girl or not) since I was a little kid and that I'm actually non-binary, I just didn't know that it was an option until around two years ago. This video really helped me figure myself out!

[@loganblackwood2922]

It isn't an option, if you're female you're either a girl or a woman. Nobody gets to step outside of their biology.

[@FrommerJacobsnumberonefangirl]

Get help, this is just a phase 💀💀💀

[@mjones8170]

You're not non- binary. You just aren't a walking stereotype. It's so sexist to have this spectrum where feminine women are women and masculine men are men and everybody else is inbetween. Grow up. Just because a female doesn't act like barbie doesn't mean they are less female than one who does. This non- binary rubbish is old school 1950s sexism.

[@andrilierlol]

​@@FrommerJacobsnumberonefangirlong

[@kaurpajula2731]

​@@loganblackwood2922it's not stepping outside biology as gender is psychological and everyone is free to identify as they want

[@oliElizabeth09]

i recently came out to my friends as non-binary and hearing people say my real name instead it has felt so good to hear that and it makes me feel so cared for

[@Ian3485.]

"omg i relate so much to thissss, maybe i'm not a gender because some rando on youtube said i was"

[@jozefienvoets2744]

shoutout to the fat cat in the background

[@lynnsaga1397]

All the cats deserve a shout out😅

[@jozefienvoets2744]

@@lynnsaga1397 god you're SO right

[@heyy1829]

I dont get it, at all, and this is not meant as hate... just because you dont fit the stereotypical gender roles, you are non-binary? So every feminine man, or tomboy women, is not a man/woman anymore, but sth else? Isnt sorting people in and out of categories based on such rigid stereotypical gender roles the opposite of progressive? I - as a man - have felt very uncomfortsble with my body as a teenager too, never felt like i could fit the role of a stereotypical man... I like to go shopping, love wellness & spas, use beauty products, love fashion, wear pink, cant fight or do handywork, and cry alot in movies ... am i now non-binary? I know im not, im just not your stereotypical male, but where is the line, what is the criteria? Again, this is not meant as putting anyone down for what they think or how they label themselfes, im genuinly confused about this stuff and wanna learn, thats why i watch those videos in the first place

[@silverlightning6649]

Hi. So, while I can understand why you might think this video is claiming all people who do not conform to stereotypical gender roles are nonbinary, that is not what is being said. So to begin with if you take into account that the video was made with the intent to help people who are already questioning their gender and then is also just a "summary" of some common experiences among non-binary people it will come across as a very general video so I understand where you're confusion came from, but Lynn is simply pulling from common experiences in order to help people come to a clearer understanding. Also, yes arguably creating labels does "force" people into new boxes, but then that's the beauty of labels, they are adaptable and you can always create a new label, specifically with the nonbinary umbrella term it is extremely extensive and adaptable covering a whole range of feelings with the only "necessary" common thread being that you do not identify/feel wholly like a man or woman. If you want to understand more about what being non-binary is actually like then there's a pretty extensive comment thread up above (Maria, Elfieinblack and Silverlightning), but for convenience I will place the explanatory comments in this comment as you are obviously expressing a wish to learn and understand more about non-binary people. Comment/question from Maria: "I am really trying to understand the concept of non-binary. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds to me that you were not comfortable with femininity: growing boobs, dressing up etc. A lot of women feel this way, and prefer to look and/or act in a more masculine way. It's nothing new or unacceptable. Besides, it is all new to the teenager and it is quite natural to question everything. Furthermore, I believe that everbody wants to be seen and accepted for who they are, and not their gender, or role in the society. I really can relate to most of the things you have mentioned, excpet for the relationship with the pronouns. However, I would not identify myself as non-binery. I find it very confusing that non-binary is referred to as "gender". Another thing I find confusing is the stereotyping what being a male or female is. As you are not either of them, that implies you know exactly what it is like to be a man or a woman. How? " Response from Elfieinblack: "It’s more complicated than just not being comfortable with femininity. There are tons of masculine presenting women who are definitely women and there are tons of non-binary people who still love to put on pretty dresses and get dressed up. It’s more deep down than that. When you’re non-binary you feel constantly too masculine to be “one of the girls” and too feminine to be “one of the boys”. It’s when you feel like you’re an alien or something because neither “boy” or “girl” feels right to you. There’s a lot of discomfort in the performance of being one gender or the other. Not just in terms of presentation but in terms of the day to day things. Whenever someone calls you “son” or “girlfriend” or “ma’am” it just feels wrong. Sometimes you don’t even really feel human. You’re just you and you wish that was enough, that you didn’t have to put a label on it because neither label feels right. Clothes are gender neutral. Like I said, you’re right about there being lots of women who don’t like traditionally feminine things and men who don’t like traditionally masculine things. That doesn’t dictate your gender. When they said “your assigned gender feels like a costume” it’s more like drag. When I dress up in fancy dresses and look traditionally feminine I feel like I’m dressing in drag. Imagine how you would feel dressing up as a “boy” with a fake mustache and everything. That’s how it feels. The thing is, there is a non-binary beauty standard just like there is one for men and for women and that standard is the flat chested, straight waisted, cheekbony version of androgyny (like Ruby Rose). But a lot of non-binary people aren’t that, and that makes it hard, the same way it’s hard for cis people when they don’t fit a beauty standard. We know that our gender and what we look like aren’t related but we also know that this is beauty standard." Comment from Silverlightning: "I'd also like to add something. In my experience I literally do not feel any connection to the idea of being a man, whenever anyone has grouped me in with the boys it feels wrong and even just being around a group of guys leaves me feeling disconnected I have no feeling of shared connection with them its just an alienating environment. I feel more comfortable just talking and hanging out with girls and feel more of a connection and understanding their but in the same way that I know I'm not a boy I know I'm not a girl, not a part of that group just separate. Gender in the way society sees it is a construction, whereas gender identity or perception is personal and internal its intrinsic to a person's core self to the point where its more instinctual than any actual realisation at first for a lot of people." Response from Maria: "Thank you for your explanation. It makes me think. I find it interesting that a non-binary person wants to be accepted for who they are.The focus should be on the human being, and on one's personality, right? It sounds pretty nice. However, you say you don't feel belonging to a group of guys. Doesn't that put more emphasis on their gender than their personalities? I understand what you mean when you say you don't feel belonging to the group, but isn't that generalizing their gender at the same time? Thinking that you definitely can't connect cause they are guys? Perhaps they share similar values, interests type of humor with you, but you never found out as you didn't approach them as separate individuals, but just as a group. Hence, they don't get to be seen "for who they are", but just as a gender with stereotypical gender roles. I don't believe that the gender determines your personality. It plays a role, for sure. However, there are so many other factors that play a more important part such as: upbringing, school, hobbies etc. My other question is: How can you identify yourself with females and still not feel like one of them? How can you know for sure? How "different" do you have to be from either group, boys and girls, in order to be regarded as another gender?" Response from SilverLightning: Hi. So first I'd like to say I'm not the best at explaining myself or my understanding of my gender because a lot of it is instinctual to me and I'm also still trying to figure out exactly where I fit, but I'll do my best to answer your questions. I'm glad your actually interested in learning and understanding. So when I say I don't feel connected or like I belong in a group of guys, I'm not saying I don't get along with them, often I do and whenever its just me and one of them its a lot easier as we're just individuals and there's often no pressure of gender roles or categories as we're a pretty diverse group as it is (we never originally hung out as a group so I knew them all as individual people first and its still easy to be around them when its just one of them). But whenever its a group situation, I always feel disconnected and alienated its like a persistent nagging sensation and I feel like "other", its got nothing to do with the conversation or topics I just feel displaced I don't really know how to explain it more than that a displacement. I can answer your next question a little easier, so when it comes to girls, I can connect on an easier level and I often feel like I can be myself easier as all parts of my personality and interests are taken at face value whether they would've been expected from me or not. I also just relate easier with girls because I don't feel uncomfortable there's no disconnect. When I say that it might sound like I'm saying I can identify as one of the girls as I don't feel disconnected, but its not that simple, there are times when I wonder if I'm a transgirl but it just doesn't sit right with me as I feel more neutral, the reason I connect easier with girls is because of that, I'm not judged for my interests and I'm taken at face value which includes the fact that I have no draw, no desire to be a girl. I want to say, I can't know for sure how I will come to perceive myself in the future as my understanding of myself may change so yes, I may decide that the nonbinary label is not 100% right in the future, but at the minute it is who I am as far as my understanding goes, I'm not a girl and I'm definitely not a boy. I honestly don't know how to approach your final question, simply because I never have felt like I belong to the "groups" of being a boy or a girl fully so I can't really say how different one would need to be. It's someone's perception of themselves that matters and the only person who can fully understand their identity is the person themselves, so you just have to take somebody at their word. I know that it can be frustrating not having a clear and decisive explanation but everyone's unique and so everyone's perception of gender identity will differ slightly especially when you equate that to gender constructions in society and how they shape expression. I hope this makes some sort of sense as its hard to put into words and probably sounds a little contradictory which I'm sorry about I've tried to explain it to the best of my ability, but its a part of me, its instinctive not something that I know how to describe as it just is." Sorry for the extremely long message which included the previous comment thread, but I really hope this helps as its a complicated topic and honestly I still struggle to completely wrap my head around my own feelings around my gender at points mainly due to it being so instinctual to me I just have to feel it rather than explain it.

[@heyy1829]

@@silverlightning6649 wow ok thats a lot of content 😅 after reading it, i sadly still dont really get what "feeling like one of the boys/girls" or "feeling connected to a group of men/women" would even mean, because for me it would entirely be about individual personality traits, not gender. but your response made me think...maybe its like with the fish and the water, you cant feel it unless it is missing or there is some disturbance... anyway, thanks for responding 👍🏻

[@silverlightning6649]

@@heyy1829 To be fair, I can't explain it the best because as I've said I don't experience what its like to identify and feel like a boy/girl but I have had it explained to me from both sides since I came out. I also focus on people's personalities, this is just another factor to interaction that generally goes unnoticed by cis-people as it all aligns identically to what you expect anyway so I understand how you may not be able to feel it as like you said, you can't feel it unless you miss it.

[@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557]

@@silverlightning6649 It’s one valid sign you are non binary and that is being transexual if not it’s just a delusion i could get behind calling a trans (them) I’m not gonna call a white person Chinese just because he feels like it. gender dysphoria is a mental health problem that you need To take up with a therapist or psychiatrist and not go around screaming you are non binary just like a person in psychosis shouldn’t go around and talk about his delusion that is obviously fake actually it’s basically the same thing thinking you are two gender is a perfect example of a psychotic delusion I mean it’s the most obvious wrong delusion that exist if you want to take the argument seriously

[@kaiyodei]

from what I gather that is the "soul" of what being nonbinary means, or gender non conforming

[@laupel]

Ugh please I’m having an identity crisis right now and it’s so confusing. I grew up with a conservative family who valued femininity way too much. My father always taught me that women were meant to be sexually attractive to men, basically that was their sole purpose. Granted he was a homophobic, sexist, and racist pos but that’s a story for a different day. I got bullied all the time as a kid for looking too masculine because I hated wearing dresses and skirts. I felt insecure in them and it didn’t feel right. Eventually my family starting controlling the way I dressed and appeared and I hated it but I guess I grew used to it. Ever since then I’ve always dressed extremely feminine, wearing only dresses and skirts, long hair, makeup, etc etc. But I don’t feel like myself anymore. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize who I am. In reality I guess I don’t really know who I am, because I’ve never been given the opportunity to decide that for myself. Now I’m grown and can choose my own path, but it’s scary and I feel alone in it.

[@BillCipherTheGayTriangle]

5:05 this. I always thought I was just bothered by compliments because I don’t see myself how others do, but looking back, I only have a problem with typically gendered compliments. “You’re so beautiful/pretty!” “Uhhh thanks ig” “You look handsome in that” “Tysm, I really appreciate it!” Never really took that as a sign before.

[@ziggyzoggin]

NEVER put the comment sort to "Newest" on these types of videos. Your faith in humanity will be crushed. Why is it so hard to understand that gender is a spectrum?

[@craniorach5764]

Gender is defined by your reproductive organs, and not by your intrusive thoughts and delusion.

[@kaurpajula2731]

​@@craniorach5764gender is defined about who you feel you are. Simple research shows that gender isn't the same thing as sex and although there are 2 sexes, gender is a spectrum.

[@Deboifrager]

I know I’m bi but I’m am starting to question my gender, this was helpful thanks!!!

[@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557]

How do you question your gender unless u trans bc it’s 99,99999999999 times a billion more that you are your gender actually it’s the most obvious delusion there is when I think abt it

[@Feisenbach]

Take a look between your legs and you'll know.

[@jeanv1352]

Of course you are! Follow the trend!

[@Bunny501]

Only today have I realized that I am non-binary. I was really oblivious until recently tho. and I've been telling people that I use any pronouns and getting stuck at a select a gender from the list boxes for over a year now.

[@Bunny501]

Great video btw, made me feel even better with my new label. Now I can say for sure that gender euphoria is a real thing

[@lynnsaga1397]

Congratulations on coming to that realization! It’s always amazing figuring out a part of yourself

[@MikeMike-fl5mi]

lmfao mentaI iIIness

[@trustypatchy2720]

Except for number 1 (kind of), 100% vibe with the rest. After confronting my own feelings and the disconnect I felt between my assigned gender and what *I* wanted, I came to the conclusion that I'm NB on my own. I spent a long long time thinking about it, and opened myself to the possibility. Approaching so many feelings and behaviours from the angle of "Could this mean I'm non-binary?" really opened my eyes to myself. Being AMAB, for my entire life it seemed that what mattered was *appearing* like a "man", avoiding anything "feminine" not because I didn't have interest, but because that would make me "girly", the opposite of "manly", and therefore bad. Moving out, having time to myself, and making friends with completely new people has afforded me so much space to explore myself for me. I can finally express more of my "feminine" traits, and have wound up in the middle. Neither stereotypically masculine or feminine, and most importantly, purely ME. I no longer make judgements on myself or my interests based on the gender binary we're presented with, I just do what I want. And I'm much happier, and excited for the future because of it. I just searched "non-binary" to look for a video like this, and it only solidified my identity. Thank you. BRB gonna cry (also I have almost the exact same mole on the right side of my face, mine is just a bit closer to the nose so I found that pretty funny) EDIT: What really 'flipped the switch' so to speak, for me, was seeing/learning about the character "Testament" from Guilty Gear. Suddenly I found myself really REALLY resonating with a character in a way I haven't with any other media, and I explored why.

[@terriem3922]

In 1968, I used "they/them" differently. I was in 8th grade, and I used it when I didn't know the gender of a character in a play or tv show or play. It was easier than saying "he or she".

[@littlecatfeet9064]

Being uncomfortable with your developing body, not fitting into gender roles, and just wanting to be seen as yourself is actually part of a larger identity than non-binary. It’s called being teenage. Particularly being a teenage girl and the ruthless scrutiny they go through. Saying that if you don’t fit into a narrow female identity you must be non-binary is stereotyping itself. Can you not imagine gender nonconforming people who AREN’T trans or NB? Do you really think cis women don’t question their gender identity? I’m sorry, but I think it displays a lack of knowledge of and interest in most women’s lives. And the vagueness of the signs you used just apply to most people 🤷‍♀️

[@keyboarddancers7751]

Excellentsummary.

[@kaiyodei]

nah. it's the core and entrity of nonbinary. even when someone has neurodivergence and depersonalization disorder

[@blackgrlfly]

Way to be closeminded and ignorant

[@Undesignedd]

What about adult people lol

[@brooks12197]

Just a gentle reminder that it’s ok to be a man/woman/boy/girl and not conform to/identify with stereotypical gender norms. It’s a little disturbing to see so many people jump to the conclusion that they’re not women because they never liked wearing dresses. Let true gender diversity be a thing again. Please!

[@Levytsa]

Oh. I'm getting confused. Like maybe I am non-binary cause I'm questioning my gender a lot and all those 5 signs are about me. But what if I'm not? This is really a lot for me to process. Thank you for this video ❤

[@valery_lm]

I’m non-binary person. Thanks. All the signs are the same. However, I feel like an agender man, sometimes a genderfluid, sometimes a demigirl . That hesitates. Nonbinary is the most comfortable.

[@kaurpajula2731]

​@KZbin_Jakeeveryone decides their own gender identity not someone random on the internet.

[@buddyltd]

I remember one time, when I was very new to the idea of preferred pronouns, I realised that I didn't really care about what pronouns I was given by people, and a bit after that, I worried that I was making a really flippant mockery of gender by being so unbothered by being referred to any way, so I kind of retreated back into myself. All this time later, it must be eight or nine years, I'm realising that it was an early presentation of my non-binary identity, and honestly, there are times where I'm kind of scared of it, but there are other times when it feels really affirming and lovely. Thank you for this video, it's really great to see! Definitely getting my sub!

[@alisaborissova6527]

AAAAAAAAA, OMG , thank you very much. I was so hesitant about my gender. I thought there was something wrong with ME and that I couldn’t just accept myself as a woman, to give up stereotypes. But I was wrong. Thanks. You gave me confidence in myself and my feelings ☺️😌❤️

[@MikeMike-fl5mi]

sometimes life is hard and sometimes you dont like something but that doesnt change REALITY. FACE REALITY DONT RUN FROM IT

[@koreywitabagg665]

You can give up on stereotypes and still be a woman like tomboy or still a both a feminine and masculine woman

[@gayfrogtime]

@@koreywitabagg665 Yes, you can do that, but also you could be nonbinary. Its different for different people.

[@yochiartz2839]

same here

[@odu6918]

Or just be a masculine woman????

[@silverlightning6649]

Thanks for the video this came at a really good time for me as I'm just starting to be more open about my own identity with people outside of my immediate friend group. Honestly part of what helped me to realise I was non-binary (possibly agender but sticking with just NB for now) is that I just always felt disconnected from boys and uncomfortable whenever I was grouped in with them. No idea if other people experience this, but I never actually felt uncomfortable with masculine words or terms until I actually came out, now I can't even hear someone who doesn't know use them about me without cringing or worse. So I definitely understand point 1 and point 4 the most and point 2 but to varying degrees depending on how self destructive I feel. Thanks for all the videos all of them have helped me so much since you first started (I'm demisexual as well)

[@funkytikigod7039]

I'm slightly questioning my gender, but I think I'm still cis. I've become in favour of gender abolition, so I no longer want to limit my self-expression in accordance with the oppressive social construct of being a "man", yet I remain most comfortable in the default clothing I grew up in which I'd consider neutral/masculine. I can also grow a pretty good beard, and I feel good with one. Having said that, I've recently become quite enthralled by the sorta androgynous/femboy aesthetic, and it's left me kinda frustrated that I can't instantly switch between the 2 looks, since I think I could pull-off both if I committed full time to either. When I've cross-dressed in private it's been very exciting, but it did feel kinda like a costume so maybe it's just a fetish rather than my sincere gender expression 🤔I've also recently discovered I'm bisexual, so that might be contributing to some of my feelings.

[@keyboarddancers7751]

Why not focus on your education and on your career plans?

[@funkytikigod7039]

@@keyboarddancers7751 I think I can continue to have a fulfilling career and still be introspective about these kind of things. When I said "full time" I didn't mean fixating on my gender expression at the expense of everyday life and long-term plans, I just meant I kinda have to choose a look and stick with it. Since whilst my facial hair regrows fast, I can't be cleanshaven and more "feminine" one day and then bearded "masculine" the next.

[@keyboarddancers7751]

@@funkytikigod7039 Well as long as it doesn't involve removing anything more substantial than hair, there's nothing wrong with experimentation. Your twenties are such an incredibly precious energetic foundational opportunity for the coming decades of your lifespan.

[@funkytikigod7039]

@@keyboarddancers7751 Yeah I don't have any interest in sex reassignment surgery, I'd have to be suffering from extreme gender dysphoria to consider that. I'm just curious about discarding any arbitrary limitations on my gender expression I've subconsciously internalised so as to better self-actualise myself. Although, I think it would be cool to be a post-gender transhuman cyborg one day, but that's just scifi nonsense for now...

[@keyboarddancers7751]

@@funkytikigod7039 I wouldn't dismiss such things as "sci-fi nonsense": Joanna Russ and Marge Piercy each wrote really interesting (seminal) sci-fi/utopian novels in the mid '70s whose (revolutionary for the time) themes were the radically non-conformist societal roles of women and men. *The Female Man* and *Woman on the Edge of Time* - both well worth a read. I'm indebted to a female acquaintance over 20 years ago for introducing me to those rather amazing books. Also I think Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica (reboot) have already used the "transhuman cyborg" plot device very creatively.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

When I was a girl I began to notice the sexist stereotypes, roles and expectations imposed onto me, my sister, my mother, grandmother, cousins, aunties and friends. It was grossly unfair and oppressive, and still is. 'Gender' is the entire problem. Defining ourselves in terms of it is not the solution. It's a huge step backwards. You guys are so close but so far. It's baffling that you don't get it. Like hundreds of years of the women's and LGB movements went right over your heads.

[@feltfrog]

Trans people have always existed. Your obsession with them is honestly embarrassing and I feel sorry for you. Why are you stalking this KZbinr?

[@Mel-wn9gb]

@@feltfrog People who believe in the ideology of 'cis' and 'trans' have existed since about 1994. People who believe in the ideological concept of 'binary' and 'nonbinary' have existed for a mere decade or so. I'm not obsessed with 'trans' people or 'nonbinary' people. How can I be obsessed with them when my entire point is that there's no such thing, and they're just people with a problematic ideological belief system? I'm interested in resisting sexism, misogyny and homophobia, which I've been doing since I was a child. When you impose sexist dogma onto other people - violating their lives and rights - don't be suprised if they call you out on it. You made it my business, so here I am.

[@feltfrog]

@@Mel-wn9gb You are obsessed with them, you spend every day seeking out trans and nonbinary content creators so you can spread your gender critical ideology and tell them their families are disappointed in them. That’s bully behaviour, Mel. Why are you so obsessed with them? Maybe you’re trans :))

[@feltfrog]

@@Mel-wn9gb Rather than going after actual misogynists spreading manosphere BS you’re targeting LGBTQ people lol. What a good person you are.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

@@feltfrog Quote me where I said anyone's family is disappointed in them. I've never said such a thing because that's not my argument. My argument is that the concepts 'cis', 'trans', 'binary' and 'nonbinary' are sex stereotyping, which is sexism. I've been opposing sexism mý entire life. I'm not obsessed with 'trans' people. My entire point is that there's no such thing. The only bully here is you, making personal attacks and making up lies that you can't back up, instead of decent, reasoned, coherent arguments. Try harder.

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

So I'm bisexual and polyamorous but I have zero understanding of non-binary gender identities. When it comes to my sexual and romantic identity, I'm of the philosophy of "you don't need to understand me or like what I do, you just need to believe me and respect me". But I have also always appreciated honest questions from people wanting to understand. As someone who knows nothing about the non-binary experience, I often hear about dysmorphia and not feeling right in your body's sex in terms of gender identity, but I have also met a few people who say they're non-binary (and have they/them pronouns) who DO PRESENT binary (i.e. deliberately feminine or masculine appearance at all times). How does that work?

[@LaHulka]

I wonder what womanhood really is. Wearing dresses? To me, it's just my organs, and I see as sexism all these expectations that we should all want to be princesses and be bad at math.

[@DarthLesbian]

@@SpockLover27 No such thing as assigned sex, just observed sex 😂🤡

[@DarthLesbian]

@@SpockLover27 I cant help that delusional people exist bro 😂

[@DarthLesbian]

@@SpockLover27 Oh no fake made up people in a fake fictional story my life is ruined! Oh wait… 😂👋

[@bertbrezel8605]

I also dressed up as my masculine OCSs with a binder and felt freedom. For a long time I thought that I felt this way 'cause I was so excited about this "gender swap" until I started to flat my chest "just for fun". I feel so much more confident, hot and free since then. There're some other signs that I'm not cis before that but I thought that I would be just an unusual type of woman who doesn't want to fit into her biological role.

[@vn1445]

How do you identify now?

[@bertbrezel8605]

@@vn1445 I'm still unsure and need more time for that to be totally clear, but actually I'm seeing myself as nonbinary and more in the agender spectrum.

[@austins.6805]

Have you ever asked yourself why you were upset at being a woman? Looking in the mirror and being dissatisfied by what you see is a symptom of low self-esteem. The problem there is the expectations that society has placed on you for being a woman, or you did on yourself. You need to become okay with what you are rather than pretend to be something you're not. Also, what is the being "seen as you" apart from your body? In 99% of cases, your body is usually pretty obviously male or female. Your body is who and what you are. Your personality and individuality are emergent properties of your body. Being perceived as female because of your feminine body *is* being seen as what you are.

[@CaptainBuggyTheClown]

A lot of these new comments are people who fundamentally are ignorant about biology and sociology. You have people confusing the two, people asserting sex or intersex isn't bimodal, you have people who honestly think my idea of a man is the same as their idea of a man and don't recognize nobody is going to fit arbitrarily gender norms 100% whether man or woman hence we're all technically non binary (although that comes off as speaking on others lived experience which isnt what I'm saying) because gender isn't binary. Sort by new comments, these people are hateful ignorant puppets parroting the narratives they've heard from mainstream media and grifters trying to capitalize off their stupidity and hate.

[@LitherFamily]

Gender, personality, and mood shifts are 3 different things. There's no need to create a gender term for each and every "type" of personality" or periodic "mood swings." What I see described here as "signs" doesn't call out for a gender category (although they might affect one's perception of their own body, feelings or the form of language that comes with that conclusion).

[@rayoliver760]

Great signs you pointed out! When I first found out what the term non-binary was I was so relieved because after struggling with both my gender and also sexualaties as a child (even up to today) I was still unsure who I was. It is so refreshing to not be held down by traditional labels, or to fall into cliché gender norms now! Plus after researching the medical costs of transitioning that scared me off transitioning that way.

[@natirve1698]

Hello, Could you please let me know what can you do as non-binary that you can't do as woman? I just don't get when people say "feel like a woman" What does suppose to mean? I have seen other videos stating that they are non-binary because of the clothes... I just don't understand how the fashion taste can affect your whole identity...

[@Nimsrodel]

For sure, seems rather shallow, doesn't it? I hate this male female polarization thing. There's really a lot of overlap and people seem to think only the extremes are important. That's a big mistake.

[@lorarena]

when I was young I could not stand having breasts and I did everything I could to hide them but I also learned to dress up I wanted to fit in - my mother was really hard on me for not wearing feminine clothes like dresses and blouses. I always felt uncomfortable about the male gaze on my feminine body I always wanted to just be me not boobs and ass so to speak - now I am fifty and I just recently had a serious accident and suffered a brain injury and now more than ever I don't relate to any gender it feels completely wrong. I feel much more expansive about how I live in my body and that feeling makes me happy. It is hard to feel this way non gendered and still have big breasts. I wish we lived in a world where we do not have to identify with a label.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

We don't have to 'identify' with a label. Just be who you are. 'Woman' just means female human. Humans don't have to fit neatly into sexist stereotypes, roles and expectations just because of our sex. Those days are over, despite people who are pushing this ideology stupidly upholding that tired old sexism. Don't buy into this garbage. It's conservative, conformist, regressive and sexist. 'Gender' is the very problem.

[@transfern7]

This video can at just the right time for me. I’ve been questioning whether I am or not and I’m pretty sure I am. I’ll wait to the end of the school year too think about it though. I go to an all boys school and I’ve been wanting to change schools anyway. So I’m going to wait to come out to my parents and this’ll give me more time to think too.

[@lynnsaga1397]

Awwww I’m so glad I made it now then! Coming out is such an amazing thing let me know how it goes☺️

[@jxck_exorcist185]

I’ve come here for the beginning of my journey. I don’t feel masculine enough nor do I feel feminine enough let’s see where this takes me

[@SorenPenrose]

Hey that’s why I’m here exactly. Glad I’m not the only one.

[@violetskiy854]

I have body dysmorphia, I'm bisexual, I'm a 'tomboy', I don't like being called a girl or woman, I don't like my gender being perceived, I've questioned my gender, I've had disordered eating and body views

[@krumble8327]

Wow. This was depressing. I'm sorry you grew up in a restrictive environment that set out a specific life for you based on your sex. That's exactly what we should challenging! No one fits exactly into sexist stereotypes or wants to be restricted by them. It doesn't make us not women. Expand the definition of woman don't identify as something else and further reinforce sexist stereotypes that hurt us all. 😞

[@tiktxks2409]

What

[@brokenland5154]

I was going to comment this, nobody feels 'connected' to being a woman. It is just your sex. If you categorize yourself based on your sex with gender stereotypes, you are putting down the other women around you. It's internalized misogyny 101.

[@SB87613]

All I got from this is that you want to feel special and unique

[@777Rowen]

It seems more like this is what a lot of people experience when they are going through puberty. A lot of people have body image issues and don’t like things about themselves; but you eventually grow out of it. You’re still you, a woman, but can just be a Tom boy or wear gender beau teal clothing. The non binary things is a bit silly to me, you’re referring to yourself in third person. That’s what the pronouns they and them are used for. They’re going to the store, and they will be back later. They can refer to a person like a man named Frank. But ok. You do you.

[@petersaysthings]

They’re not referring to themselves in the third person lol. Pronouns are how other people refer to you.

[@Ewr42]

being uncomfortable with people calling me "male" being flattered when misgendered as a female being full-on gender euphoric when a little girl passing by with her sister couldn't figure it out when see looked at me and then she asked her sister which one it was(I had a dark purple hair, black nails, and a beard on my face(which makes it special because it's hard not to be thought of as a male when you have facial hair)) there was also the time when I was talking about it with a friend and at the time we both considered ourselves "mostly" cisgender, but then we got into gender expression and how abstract it really is, and I think we both figured it out definitively right there and then that we're both non-binary actually.. since I'm already oversharing, one time I took Ayahuasca under an unintentional trans flag whilst dancing in the middle between the male side and the female side because randomly they put me there for no apparent reason other than acoustics because of the singing we were also doing.. but talk about gender euphoria!

[@Maria-rc2hf]

I am really trying to understand the concept of non-binary. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds to me that you were not comfortable with femininity: growing boobs, dressing up etc. A lot of women feel this way, and prefer to look and/or act in a more masculine way. It's nothing new or unacceptable. Besides, it is all new to the teenager and it is quite natural to question everything. Furthermore, I believe that everbody wants to be seen and accepted for who they are, and not their gender, or role in the society. I really can relate to most of the things you have mentioned, excpet for the relationship with the pronouns. However, I would not identify myself as non-binery. I find it very confusing that non-binary is referred to as "gender". Another thing I find confusing is the stereotyping what being a male or female is. As you are not either of them, that implies you know exactly what it is like to be a man or a woman. How?

[@elfieinblack4618]

It’s more complicated than just not being comfortable with femininity. There are tons of masculine presenting women who are definitely women and there are tons of non-binary people who still love to put on pretty dresses and get dressed up. It’s more deep down than that. When you’re non-binary you feel constantly too masculine to be “one of the girls” and too feminine to be “one of the boys”. It’s when you feel like you’re an alien or something because neither “boy” or “girl” feels right to you. There’s a lot of discomfort in the performance of being one gender or the other. Not just in terms of presentation but in terms of the day to day things. Whenever someone calls you “son” or “girlfriend” or “ma’am” it just feels wrong. Sometimes you don’t even really feel human. You’re just you and you wish that was enough, that you didn’t have to put a label on it because neither label feels right. Clothes are gender neutral. Like I said, you’re right about there being lots of women who don’t like traditionally feminine things and men who don’t like traditionally masculine things. That doesn’t dictate your gender. When they said “your assigned gender feels like a costume” it’s more like drag. When I dress up in fancy dresses and look traditionally feminine I feel like I’m dressing in drag. Imagine how you would feel dressing up as a “boy” with a fake mustache and everything. That’s how it feels. The thing is, there is a non-binary beauty standard just like there is one for men and for women and that standard is the flat chested, straight waisted, cheekbony version of androgyny (like Ruby Rose). But a lot of non-binary people aren’t that, and that makes it hard, the same way it’s hard for cis people when they don’t fit a beauty standard. We know that our gender and what we look like aren’t related but we also know that this is beauty standard. Does any of that help?

[@Maria-rc2hf]

@@elfieinblack4618 That is interesting. Thank you for taking your time to explain it to me.

[@silverlightning6649]

@@Maria-rc2hf I'd also like to add something. In my experience I literally do not feel any connection to the idea of being a man, whenever anyone has grouped me in with the boys it feels wrong and even just being around a group of guys leaves me feeling disconnected I have no feeling of shared connection with them its just an alienating environment. I feel more comfortable just talking and hanging out with girls and feel more of a connection and understanding their but in the same way that I know I'm not a boy I know I'm not a girl, not a part of that group just separate. Gender in the way society sees it is a construction, whereas gender identity or perception is personal and internal its intrinsic to a person's core self to the point where its more instinctual than any actual realisation at first for a lot of people. Hope this helps

[@Maria-rc2hf]

@@silverlightning6649 Thank you for your explanation. It makes me think. I find it interesting that a non-binary person wants to be accepted for who they are.The focus should be on the human being, and on one's personality, right? It sounds pretty nice. However, you say you don't feel belonging to a group of guys. Doesn't that put more emphasis on their gender than their personalities? I understand what you mean when you say you don't feel belonging to the group, but isn't that generalizing their gender at the same time? Thinking that you definitely can't connect cause they are guys? Perhaps they share similar values, interests type of humor with you, but you never found out as you didn't approach them as separate individuals, but just as a group. Hence, they don't get to be seen "for who they are", but just as a gender with stereotypical gender roles. I don't believe that the gender determines your personality. It plays a role, for sure. However, there are so many other factors that play a more important part such as: upbringing, school, hobbies etc. My other question is: How can you identify yourself with females and still not feel like one of them? How can you know for sure? How "different" do you have to be from either group, boys and girls, in order to be regarded as another gender?

[@silverlightning6649]

@@Maria-rc2hf Hi. So first I'd like to say I'm not the best at explaining myself or my understanding of my gender because a lot of it is instinctual to me and I'm also still trying to figure out exactly where I fit, but I'll do my best to answer your questions. I'm glad your actually interested in learning and understanding. So when I say I don't feel connected or like I belong in a group of guys, I'm not saying I don't get along with them, often I do and whenever its just me and one of them its a lot easier as we're just individuals and there's often no pressure of gender roles or categories as we're a pretty diverse group as it is (we never originally hung out as a group so I knew them all as individual people first and its still easy to be around them when its just one of them). But whenever its a group situation, I always feel disconnected and alienated its like a persistent nagging sensation and I feel like "other", its got nothing to do with the conversation or topics I just feel displaced I don't really know how to explain it more than that a displacement. I can answer your next question a little easier, so when it comes to girls, I can connect on an easier level and I often feel like I can be myself easier as all parts of my personality and interests are taken at face value whether they would've been expected from me or not. I also just relate easier with girls because I don't feel uncomfortable there's no disconnect. When I say that it might sound like I'm saying I can identify as one of the girls as I don't feel disconnected, but its not that simple, there are times when I wonder if I'm a transgirl but it just doesn't sit right with me as I feel more neutral, the reason I connect easier with girls is because of that, I'm not judged for my interests and I'm taken at face value which includes the fact that I have no draw, no desire to be a girl. I want to say, I can't know for sure how I will come to perceive myself in the future as my understanding of myself may change so yes, I may decide that the nonbinary label is not 100% right in the future, but at the minute it is who I am as far as my understanding goes, I'm not a girl and I'm definitely not a boy. I honestly don't know how to approach your final question, simply because I never have felt like I belong to the "groups" of being a boy or a girl fully so I can't really say how different one would need to be. It's someone's perception of themselves that matters and the only person who can fully understand their identity is the person themselves, so you just have to take somebody at their word. I know that it can be frustrating not having a clear and decisive explanation but everyone's unique and so everyone's perception of gender identity will differ slightly especially when you equate that to gender constructions in society and how they shape expression. I hope this makes some sort of sense as its hard to put into words and probably sounds a little contradictory which I'm sorry about I've tried to explain it to the best of my ability, but its a part of me, its instinctive not something that I know how to describe as it just is. I really hope this helps as I know its a complicated topic to understand but you want to learn and you sound accepting or at least open so I'm happy to talk

[@twasadream496]

I’m non binary, but still haven’t told my parents yet. I want to, but there’s a couple things I hear my parents say that are against gender identity. I’m not worried about them kicking me out, I just want them to love me for me.

[@ribbrascal]

Maybe stop being a resentful insecure narcissist. Your parents are right.

[@lokimillzmillieon2985]

The whole binary thing is stupid and ridiculous. They will still love you, just don't be all extra with it i will say.

[@vi5727]

For some time now i’ve been thinking that i might be non-binary. I’m afab and i hate being called a woman or a girl, and i feel like i’m out of theese gender norms, i feel like i’m something in between. The thing is, i’m okay with any pronouns, and i’d like if people did not stick to only one pronoun. I’d like if people also used he/him and they/them for me. And I don’t understand, does that still make me enby if i’m okay with all pronouns, and gendered pronouns too? :/

[@kingdunnad]

The thing about pronouns is that you can use whichever ones you want! They're separate from your gender identity. For example i'm agender, but I use she/her and also they/them because that's what I'm comfortable with

[@vi5727]

@@kingdunnad thank you, that’s actually really helpful. I’ve been identifying as non binary for few months now and discovered that i like they/she/he pronouns for myself

[@Dragons4Dummies]

My sign was realizing that not only do I like to be called a queen, but I also like when people praise my physical strength. I thought I was just gay, but I still like women as much as I like strong men. In reality, I just want to feel pretty while keeping my physical efficiency at top levels

[@Scar-jg4bn]

The most annoying thing to me about “non-binary” as a label is the implication that only those who choose the label defy gender norms and the rest of us neatly fit into the boxes. It’s terribly self-centered and betrays a shallow understanding of the rest of us. The truth is we’re ALL non-binary in our attitudes, behaviors, and preferences. No one is Ken; no one is Barbie. I think self-proclaimed “non-binary” people must see the rest of us as cardboard cutouts shaped like the male-female silhouettes on bathroom doors. It’s insulting.

[@DangerousKaos]

Thanks! This was helpful. I just came out as nonbinary too a year ago. I loved this so much. Also def subscribed ❤️

[@eggbath595]

😟

[@eggbath595]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJSnkJafmsyIaLc

[@liebstmohnbroetchen]

I used to call myself a "neuter" bc when I was young there was no such word as "non-binary". I never worried about pronouns though bc they do not mean anything to me. They are just words.

[@prototype8137]

Some days I feel like pizza. Other days I like hamburgers... but I feel more like a weiner today.

[@julday4]

Thank you for making this video!! This really helped me think. Though, i'm of course still unsure about my identity cause a few years ago I thought I was bisexual but in actuality I really wasn't. So I fear that this time i'll be wrong once again. Not to mention that I don't want the people i trust to judge me if I were Non-binary. Cause i'm still a minor so i fear this is also just a phase?? I don't know, but either way. Thank you for the video!!

[@Redddragon]

are you me

[@kevino4372]

1 way to tell if you're non binary. 1. You're not.

[@DfiftyMusic]

I sexually identify as Micheal Jackson, my pronouns are He/Hee

[@simonw.1223]

is micheal jacksonalso transracial just wondering.

[@DfiftyMusic]

@@simonw.1223 no mf, he suffered from vitiligo which is a skin condition

[@simonw.1223]

@@DfiftyMusic well ohh okay but doesnt do that ust small patches or some bigger ones and not completly white?

[@DfiftyMusic]

@@simonw.1223 he had procedures done which evened out his skin tone

[@That_OneGuy46]

Sign 1: being uncomfortable with your he or she pronouns doesn't mean you should be non-binary, it means someone should teach you that those words mean nothing in relation to who you will be as a person and doesn't mean you must act a certain way, and simply lets someone know which sex you are. Sign 2: Body dysmorphia is more likely the case whenever you feel this way. Another way comes from kids experiencing puberty, as their new body develops before they can become comfortable enough to accept it, it is very normal and goes away as long as nobody is telling you that being uncomfortable towards something that naturally makes people uncomfortable, is an issue. When you talk about being a teenager and not wanting to be perceived as a woman, it simply sounds like you as a teenager weren't ready for puberty and becoming an adult, so you attempted to hide those characteristics because you were uncomfortable with your naturally changing body. Sign 3: Being a woman does not mean you have to live your life through the gender-stereotypes and expectations, you pretended to be feminine because you thought that was what you had to do. You don't need to do that, and being a woman who is something other than feminine doesn't mean you're not a woman or any less of a woman. Sign 4: I have no idea how this makes sense, wanting to be who you are, is just what everyone experiences, the only people who want to be seen as something they currently aren't are either gender-dysphoric individuals or people who are trying to improve themselves for self-esteem and respect. I want to be me, a male, but me not wanting to be the kind of male to do x (e.g. joining the military or being the breadwinner) doesn't mean I'm not a male. Sign 5: Questioning something about yourself doesn't automatically mean that the answer is correct. Many people who will question their gender identity (who don't actually have gender dysphoria) will question it not because this is something deep down that makes them genuinely feel that something is wrong, rather it is being fed all this incorrect information, and becoming confused, resulting in looking for someone else to tell you the answers. When I was younger I thought I was gay because I didn't think hugging my male friends was weird, but they did, I was not gay, I simply liked hugs because it felt nice. After listening to your experience, I can see where the confusion of you being non-binary has sprouted from. How your religion talked about how you must live and act a certain way based on your gender was wrong, they were simply pushing stereotypes that you can easily choose not to follow, whilst still being a woman, but as a child, you did not realise that was an option, and attempted to match with the stereotypes even if you didn't enjoy it. Puberty also didn't help, most teenagers naturally dislike the changes in their body as most aren't ready for the change, this combined with the teachings of your religion made you believe that these changes would permanently determine how you would have to live your life so you naturally tried to hide the changes because you didn't want to live your life according to the stereotypes (not because you are non-binary). Finally, before you were able to meet someone who taught you that you don't have to live your life a certain way simply because you're a woman, you came across people online who told you that these generic issues meant you were non-binary. I can assure you that if you were raised in a family devoid of those religious practices, and did not push you to live your life a certain way because of your sex, you would not have become non-binary.

[@KrispyGottaFork]

I feel comfortable with she/her pronouns but not all the time. I usually go by they/them

[@froggul1519]

Happy international non-binary people’s day! 💛🤍💜🖤

[@millertime97jm]

Holy heck, it really is! And I picked today to watch this video without knowing that, lol

[@nxmir6126]

You can be a girl and not want to be girly it's called being a tom boy.

[@LyLy..Thebuddist135]

I literally starting crying because all these were me, this video made me feel so much more comfortable with myself and my body, Thank you so much for helping me figure out who I truly am 😊

[@keyboarddancers7751]

Do not seek validation from the internet!

[@MikeMike-fl5mi]

lul dont have a cIue who you are living in deIusion

[@legoshirocha]

A confuse person?