5 Surprising Habits of a Victim of Narcissist

[@narcabusecoach]

Register For the Workshop Heal After Narcissistic Abuse emotionalabuserecovery.com/whana

[@joycolclough2272]

Yes my mother was a malignant narcissist... she did not want a daughter... cold distant and abusive... I married a borderline bc I was unhealed... both were psychopathic bullies aggressive abusive rulebreakers... when I went thru EMDR I began to process my trauma and was no longer willing to tolerate the abuse... btw my mother was in love with my husband... crazy right ?... my song was 3rd day ...cry out to Jesus... mine was hot bubble bath with Epsom salts... magnesium is calming and it help my muscles relax

[@CelestiaQuixs]

YES, movies YES, night owl. I also began sleeping when he's awake. It's the only way I get peace from his intermittent explosive behavior. He says he can't control it; but, he does when I'm sleeping. YES, music. And, now I create my own music. YES, hot showers, the hotter, the better. I always feel cold, have my whole life. YES, I feel more in control when I'm on a schedule, eat the same foods, wear the same cloths. I am an Autistic INFJ Pisces with Complex PTSD caused by Family Scapegoating Abuse instigated by my Narcissistic, Sadistic mother.

[@godschild3640]

@@joycolclough2272. 😡GOD 😡TOLD YOU NOT TO JUDGE. No this guy doing videos just trying to make people feel like trash, which were not this guy doing the videos is the devil telling you that you’re crazy you can’t do anything right you’re a narcissist no, you’re not. You are not any of those that’s what this devil here that does the videos are.

[@chriskatz2355]

Too good of a memory to rewatch things.

[@CherylHCheri]

Oh yes noise

[@ingridds9152]

The most soothing thing to me is: READING THE COMMENTS below videos about narcissism: I am not alone, not abnormal, not a liar, we can believe / recognize each other's experiences and pain. Everytime I am amazed to see how much suffering has been thrown into (my and) other people's laps... and we are still alive... choosing not to do harm to other people, but heal ! PTL ! So: thank you from the 💖 to all of you. And as a christian I choose to forgive, even if I don't feel it (yet) in my emotions. Yes, there are demonic spirits behind narcissism and yes, there are ways christians can / may / must respond to narcissists: leave them in God's hands and stop being a doormat = I am learning to put boundaries. God bless you all 🙏🌈

[@carlotta6470]

I confirm: I like to hear the same playlist, hot shower and eat the same meal, these things give me stabilty and control

[@williambowes-xt2sm]

@carlotta6470 that sounds really nice :)

[@ulnaa9886]

Now I realize I listen to the same french theater to sleep 😮

[@Raven4508]

Comfort in rituals, spot on...

[@romanastrasheim5226]

My bedroom has been my sanctuary, ... and my books ... my bed. Switching off the light early ..closing my bedroom door, just to be in peace ...at peace ... My parents passed away the last few years, and I have forgiven the narcissist, my father. Setting myself FREE.

[@NothingCompares2U]

Yeah, great to do. Although my pop's still here and requires help all of the time I got a lot of being set free praying about my bloodline, turns out the curse was from the 33 degree freemason background. The priestess I was talking to let me know he was cursed. It depends, I guess they can also be cursed by black magic or something else.

[@moochiesmum]

My bedroom is my only sanctuary in my house. I have horses so when I'm really down I go outside and spend time with them, but as soon as I come back in the first thing I do is go to my room. 😊

[@moochiesmum]

I'm still with my narcissist. As I was watching this video, he came in and started the whole berating me that occurs more often now since he retired. I am stuck and feel so desperate at times. I don't want anything but peace and he doesn't give a sh!+. But it's too late for me. I have so much respect for all of you who hot away from your abuser. I always made excuses for not doing it. My kids, my home, my horses, money. I am living to regret it, but what's to do now? I'm 64 and have been with him for 4 decades, that's all there is to it, he's stripped me of every inch of self esteem. Good luck to everyone, it helps to know there are others like me. God Bless Everyone

[@JessAnonymous]

​@moochiesmum im so so sorry! 40 years with an abuser is insane, but it happens more often you & I know. It's insanely tough healing from narc abuse, however the first step is getting our self esteem and self worth back. God saved my entire life. I advise listening to positive affirmations every single day and set a routine for yourself to really meditate on those uplifting words. Baby steps is key and you'll get there

[@moochiesmum]

@JessAnonymous thank you so much for your lovely comment. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to even admit that I'm still in this situation. But I don't have the strength anymore. So having people validate me helps get me through. And my faith in our Lord and Jesus Christ is my salvation in the really tough times.

[@fancypinkg]

Tending to my fur babies heals me because I know they truly appreciate and love their mama, it also gives me a sense of purpose.

[@lisa2000geese]

Yes!!

[@KosmoSherry]

@@fancypinkg yes, this too ☺️

[@jollymathew972]

Oh ! great" MAMA" human beings started delivering dogs 😂😂😂😂.New development and technology

[@fancypinkg]

Never heard of adoptive mothers? Why don’t you check those developments in technology and see if they have created a human heart for you!

[@jollymathew972]

@fancypinkg adoptive owner not mother.

[@lynshively5980]

Am up till 3/4 am. Then up by 8:30/9 am. The bible has been my safe place. I thank mine - narc - for giving me the great relationship I have with God , if it had not been for him in my life I never would of gotten this close. 😊

[@mrsqueakthecat.8061]

You just traded one narc for another one.

[@dakoderii4221]

Do word searches on the KJV Bible. Numbers are important to God. He even wrote a book called "Numbers" to us. For example, "Fear not" is in the Bible 365 times. One for each day, even for a leap year. It gets much deeper and amazing than that. Trey Smith and Pastor Michael Hoggard both have some great videos on numbers and the meanings thereof. You'll probably end up binge watching. I know I did and still do.

[@alrinaleroux9229]

Wow!!!

[@dakoderii4221]

Wow. KZbin auto deletes comments explaining how to do word searches on the Bible. KZbin protecting us. We're not smart enough to think for ourselves. They will decide for us. They are the self declared experts of all things.

[@deborahschmitt3335]

Narcissists are very small people. In the grand scheme of things, they are available to participate with those who are not reduced by narcissism, and they can be moved by God ‘s love,but they have a reduced idea of love, which is the very opposite of the love of God!

[@PatGusoff]

Yes, indeed. I'm a night owl who loves "I Love Lucy ". Even though my mother is gone, I still have these habits. Feels great to know I am not alone!

[@doubleL99]

Oh my gosh I have that on DVD as well as here's lucy, and The Lucy show! ❤️❤️❤️ Definitely a great escape!!

[@fancypinkg]

Golden girls here and three s company

[@williambowes-xt2sm]

"Luucy you got some splainin' to doo!" Seriously pal that's great tale it easy today :)

[@PatGusoff]

@@williambowes-xt2sm you too!

[@samanthac8060]

I love I Love Lucy, I watch it almost everyday.

[@MR-ly4xt]

I can 100% relate to having peace between 11pm and 8am. I used to be able to think better and actually be myself and even listen to the music I liked or read a book without interruption. All things I couldn't do around him. I used to dread getting up as I knew I had to face his chaos and those faces he would pull and drama he would create. It also explains why I kept wearing the same clothes over and over. Comfort. Thank you Danish. 🙏

[@sallycajunsaint3187]

My bedtime is at 3am😢

[@trying2survive602]

I was not allowed to read books. It was seen as a way of taking away from serving him.

[@cindyrhodes]

Me, too! I get up at 4 am for the pure peace.

[@PatGusoff]

@@MR-ly4xt I wrote my best reports in college after midnight. Had classes at 8:30 an. Lol

[@MR-ly4xt]

@PatGusoff Wow! Were you tired the next morning?

[@deborahschmitt3335]

Going into a difficult passage on the piano, putting love in action by cooking new recipes for others, and finding that the Lord’s love can penetrate any wound with comfort and more comfort.

[@donovangray4246]

When you were preparing those simple meals, it was more than just a routine. It was you taking care of your self (inner child). By providing nutritious food to yourself you are nurturing yourself in a way that your parents did not, which it why it gave you comfort. I do this too.

[@moreengover6033]

Yes it all resonates with me. i loved being outside on windy days, the sensation of wind on my body felt like hugs.

[@YouShallNotPass4Frodo]

Yes so true! I get the same thing

[@CoreeParis]

Bless you Danish for everything. I wish I could hug all the victims of narcs and tell you how much I love you. I would need very long arms^^. My bedroom, my fairy tales, the calmness of night time, my music, my singing, my dancing, my movies, drawings and dreaming. Dreaming of an all powerful protector, forever to whom I could go and tell Him everything. Who would want the best for me and would accept my love with love. Now I found Him and His Name is JESUS.

[@jungyoonseo3857]

He is too my hope, my strength and my song ❤

[@CoreeParis]

@@jungyoonseo3857 Hey^^ One of His infinite talent is to transform the bad into good. Truth becomes a deliverance. Fear becomes resilience. Hate becomes love. And so on. Such a miracle and a grace to have Him. Love you brother and be blessed forever in Jesus' Holy Name. Our everything^^

[@MiRiAmetje]

❤

[@rosepraveen6676]

Living with my narcissist husband for 32 years, cooking and cleaning have become like a therapy for me

[@rekhaahluwalia2439]

I am same as you with 30 yrs marriage . Could not leave my kids to him . He has parent alienated them

[@chhavigoel2539]

I can understand,your pain,may God help us all to get out of this trap asap

[@smile2lifesmile2love21]

​@@rekhaahluwalia2439 my mom did the same for 50 yrs she gave birth to 14 kids ....after my mom died a yr after father got a 41 yr old girlfriend and forgot Abt us. I'm 40 😢 imagine how I feel. Mother cleaning always thinking about solutions

[@Mira-gu6we]

Other races of women can atleast escape. Us South Asian women are damned till death.

[@shirleyjones6026]

​@@rekhaahluwalia2439 me it was 36 years of marriage and none of my five children speak to me. It's like I don't exist. I have rebuilt my life and wish you well

[@user-lt3yb4fm6q]

Got all of them 😖 Thanks Danish, for making me feel more normal

[@BloomingBriars]

I actually do my weekend like this. Friday night fiesta with taco's or nachos and one margarita. I dance by myself with my favorite songs. Saturday is movie night, which ever of my favorites I am in the mood for. Sunday night I listen to Chopin nocturnes, all of it. Somewhat organized and I feel a little off if I have to change anything.

[@sandrahendricks2020]

OMG! I just discovered you and you've blown my mind. Each and every thing you talked about I do like crazy. Same TV shows and movies every day, never gets to sleep till 2 am, live in hot baths, live to cook and eat the same things over and over again and listen to same music all the time. I love various older songs from my younger days. My friends think I'm nuts but, like you said, these habits offer me refuge and solace. My mother was a narcissist, my dad an alcoholic. Now my narcissist sister lives with me since she became very ill this past spring. She's taking over my life and I'm so stressed that I'm getting sicker by the day. I am the family caretaker and scapegoat and thought I'd find some solace in my senior years. Im not suicidal. I love God too much to ever take my life but look forward to the day He takes mine. Death will be my only true refuge and escape from this hell.

[@JenniferAlexis1984]

I rewatch shows, movies and songs..so true ...over and over

[@rajnibhatia6581]

Songs give me comfort

[@jokerlovesyou1861]

I go through phases where I can't listen to music...but when I do. It's on repeat a lot

[@KosmoSherry]

Same. Music was the one constant in my life that I could always count on.

[@RandomThot]

Music is therapy ❤

[@denia6565]

Dear Danish, i cannot imagine that you had it twice at the same time! 😰I was married to a malignant narcissist for over 20 years. I waited until he fell asleep or took a nap in the afternoon - that was my moment of relief and happiness. When he was bad to me, i went to an other room or a corner or somewhere i could listen to SAD songs about love. The morning running routine was my other moment of relief and exactly as you say - the long hot showers afterwards. He used to knock on the bathroom door and shout out some "excuse" like an issue that couldn't wait and i needed to handle it right away...I so much enjoy now my morning coffee routine, in a relaxed atmosphere because when he was around, i could have had only a sip here and there while concentrating on him all the time. Your videos helped me very much to understand the narcissistic personality, to lear that it was not my fault and to be able to move on ❤

[@sajor1847]

@denia6565 I was married to a covert narcissist for 24 years. I am always amazed at how these people do the same annoying things 🙄 he used to ask me about doing something the minute I woke up. I used to eat before he came home because towards the end I couldn't eat if he was anywhere around. He passed away 5 years ago and I'm beginning to find myself. I didn't exist it was all about him all the time!

[@virginiahart4480]

I do all of those almost every day. I also sleep with a heated blanket, even in the summertime. It soothes my soul. The only time my current Malignant Narcissist Sociopath and his many flying monkeys/criminal co-conspirators won't bother me is literally when I am in my bed, when I am in the bath or when I am in my room alone with the door shut, which I am not allowed to do after I get up for the day unless he allows me to. He even put his tv in my bedroom to force me, against my will, into co-existing with him in the same room! I am working towards a strong, safety plan of escape and putting him in prison, where he belongs. Enough is enough. I am done putting up with abuse from anyone. Thank you Danish for helping me understand what I am enduring and giving me strength and encouragement to find a better, healthier life. ❤ I am so sorry for what you went through as a child and so grateful that you have been able to heal and help others in the process. May God always bless you! ❤

[@fancypinkg]

Empowering songs and songs where the man treat the lady with tender care and appreciation.

[@survivor2530]

I've become a night owl. Re the music, the opposite has happened to me, although I love music I've stopped listening to it as my ex narc was really into music so it reminds me of him. I either like the peace & quiet or if I need to blot my thoughts out I listen to something on KZbin instead. A big healer for me is my pets, particularly cats their purrs & cuddles are very healing

[@lindseyw2791]

Yes to all 5. You never take your safety ( mentally) for granted as it has been taken from you for so long

[@sajor1847]

O my goodness! Everything you've shared is true! When you said staying up late. Watching the same movies and the hot showers I yelled out loud because knowing why has given me peace! Thank you for the video .

[@ΒάσιαΚουμουνδούρου]

Ντανις ,φιλε μου ειμαστε ολοι μαζι σου,σε ευχαριστω τοσο πολυ και ευγνωμων που υπαρχεις στη ζωη μας!!! Μαθαινουμε τοσα μαζι σου,ανακαλυπτουμε οτι δεν ειμαστε μονοι,τρελοι....

[@TheUnderdogMinistry]

The self-care and reparenting of my own routine, diet, sleep schedule, hygiene, etc. was the most essential thing I’ve ever done and I’m still not even 10% of the way healed that I’d like to be

[@jennf6731]

Oh! I’m doing that now. Some things are difficult but I am making progress. Still trying to find my voice and knowledge that I can make a decision and sometimes the right one and not condemning myself when I don’t

[@AnnaMartins-dt5we]

These very real and painful experiences are quite traumatic! The lack of validation from our parents, the abuse from our partner are two of the most painful experiences within growing up and becoming adults. We try to cover up the pain as if it never existed but the reality is totally different. The cold we feel is explained accurately in this video! We must be strong and move on to a better life!!

[@terrydyer2490]

I watch a lot of the oldies shows, over and over. The song I listen to is "I'm not ok." By Jelly Roll. I'm disabled with chronic back pain, and I can only sleep for 2 hours at a time, late night is my favorite time. I eat simple meals. I stay in my pj's unless I have to go out. I have become a procasternator, so I fight with myself to do things that I need to do. Taking a shower is a chore I hate doing. My days go by so fast now. Sometimes I just sit and stare and I don't even realize hours have passed and I don't know where the time went. I've been destroyed beyond repair. All I want is no drama and peace. If my life ended today I wouldn't care. I'm not scared of death. I'm so ready to meet my maker. No worries I am not suicidal. I'm just so exashusted.

[@Carol-ye7vw]

I'm also finding showering such a chore and stay in pyjama's time Flys. Why are we having this problem.

[@sleepydoppy8516]

I am so sorry. It’s good to know others are going through the same thing, only, I wish non of us had to go through this. Terry try going outside and after a year of hard work, I now get dressed every day. You will heal.

[@terrydyer2490]

@@Carol-ye7vw 🫂 hugs is all I can give. Wish things could be different. I don't understand this world.

[@terrydyer2490]

@sleepydoppy8516 I wish nobody was going through this either. My narcissistic demon daughter stressed out my husband, her father, until he couldn't handle it anymore. He had an emotional breakdown and took his last breath 5 years ago. His last words were, "What did I do wrong raising her to be so evil?" She destroyed me beyond repair.

[@DJAries1]

@@Carol-ye7vwThat's a hallmark of CLINICAL DEPRESSION - diff from normal case of the blahs we ALL experience from time to time. Can be triggered by a deeply sad or traumatic event, causing brain chemicals that regulate mood to malfunction. Antidepressant meds make them function normally again - thus returning your mood to what is normal for YOU. These meds are not "happy pills" & does NOT alter your normal mood, feelings or personality in any way - only heals THAT problem. & know that you can STILL be kind & loving - while effectively making your "narc radar" so sharp, you'll detect them immed & NEVER EVER find yourself in a narc relationship again. Not a psych - speaking from experience. Just PLEASE know that help is available. Consult a good psychiatrist - he/she will test for clinical depression. I'm praying for your healing, & GOD BLESS YOU.

[@prueaddy-z3r]

Omg. Yes I did these. As a child, Bewitched, Gilligans island, etc were my go to to feel ok. I would touch light switches, walls, door handles ,a certain number of times, if I didn’t do it “right” it meant someone could die. My turtle died, buried it, dug it up in terror over and over believing I could make a mistake at age 9 and buried it alive. My narcissistic mother made fun of me, I was so ridiculous she told me. no I was traumatized and alone and beginning a lifetime of crazed obsessions to find grounding from a very wealthy and sick home. I made it thanks to our community and Danish’s clarity of truths.

[@sandracrandall4561]

You are a survivor. I admire that. Thanks for sharing. We need to see progress & success🥰

[@3minutestospare]

It’s also considered ocd check out the symptoms for that.

[@Healed2Day]

BIGGEST Hug ever! ❤

[@SusanJackson-i2y]

Oh my goodness...I'm a wall/light switch/etc toucher too. My parents complained about it. My husband notices it so he can tell when I'm stressed. Yes, it feels like we are obligated to manage the world with our compulsive coping techniques. I never heard from another wall toucher...even my college psychology teacher was perplexed!

[@jenniferAKABUT]

Yes noise really gets to me

[@martyrose]

I live in ear plugs.

[@sc4112]

5/5. Years later, I’m still struggling with sleep but really do enjoy the playlists, comforting and familiar TV series/ films on repeat, hot showers, and simple routines.

[@prophet1782]

100% i resonate with hot showers. Whew ! Found out today.At the end of my shower i let the very warm water run my body. And feel comfortable. Danish you are God sent.

[@KosmoSherry]

Yes, Danish, I share most of these habits. I have to keep a “relaxing favorites“ playlist going nearly 24/7 and in an earbud when going to the store. Some of my staples are the band America, Anita Baker, James Taylor etc… A very specific mix. Loud noises are very disruptive to me. I do choose the hot water rather than cold as it’s like a hug. There was so much dysfunction in my childhood that movies weren’t really present so I reach out to Seinfeld reruns when I need to laugh. Stuart Little was my favorite book and little friend, I was sailing away with him in his little matchbox. I do share the physical afflictions you have shared in prior videos that I still try to work through. I hope by now that you know just how many lives you’ve made better through your caring, openness and helpful videos. I cannot begin to thank you enough in my prayers. May all who read this receive this big hug to you from my heart.

[@mrsqueakthecat.8061]

My dad was the primary narc in my family. What was wild was how he loved the old western movies and saw himself as the hero, yet in real life he was 100% the bad guy doing the bad guy things to everyone all the time.

[@KeithBell-t5p]

What amazes me that in general, most people will take the part of the good guy in the movie but live their lives totally as the bad guy.

[@CPE1704TK5]

I will never understand how they truly believe that they are in the right whilst behaving in embarrassing ways

[@mrsqueakthecat.8061]

@@KeithBell-t5p That was what got me. He would put considerable deliberate long-running effort and resources into making someone else's life worse over nothing real and still think that made him the good guy in the end.

[@JessAnonymous]

​@@CPE1704TK5They are literally delusional living in a false world they've cultivated for themselves. Every Chakra and energy point in them Is closed tf off. They're insane people pleasers just like their victims hence why they choose their victims very strategically. They always go for the compassionate, giving people bc they sense those people lack self esteem and worth (I did) but so do they

[@Vivian-o0o]

Two hours in hot bath to melt and have Zen blank walls or a beautiful focus soft dim lighting and a lock. Yes!

[@Red-Cloud69]

Checked every box, I really have a love hate relationship with this man’s content. I’m 55 and both my parents are narcissistic that’s why I tune in but I have a reaction afterwards, a hammer blow to my equilibrium when he describes my habits to the point where I’m checking my home for cameras. Life just feels like a wet blanket and sometimes a Hollywood shower helps.

[@ΒάσιαΚουμουνδούρου]

Υπεροχα τα οσα ειπες,οντως μαγειρευω για τον εαυτο μου,διαβαζω,πλεκω,βαζω προτεραιοτητα εμενα σε ολα.

[@elaine4551]

You always address issues that have made us feel so weird for so long but are our reality. Thank you. Keep up the good work!

[@prophet1782]

I second that.

[@HarryBarker-yp1xv]

Desparito by the Eagles. After eating out of cans all of my childhood, I love to enjoy healty eating. Fav movie Cinderella

[@romanastrasheim5226]

@@HarryBarker-yp1xv 😰😰❤

[@arlenematthews1794]

I can relate to all of this. Being with a narcissist is hard to develop a routine because they love chaos and to try to create your own balance or stability is close to impossible. Now that I am on my own, I engage in many of these activities. I still struggle with symptoms from the abuse but I try to create routines that make sense. I love hot showers and baths. It is so comforting because we are so touch deprived. We look to any warmth we can get. The music on my playlist are usually big empowerment songs by Whitney Houston, Tony Braxton, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson and Shania Twain. I like listening to love songs and beautiful country ballards. Cooking brings comfort and stability. Minimalist and organizing helps deal with items we have to maintain.

[@Greeceismygoto]

Watch a few special shows over and over. I know it’s not normal, but yes, it makes me feel safe. Like the conversations are with me and they are normal!

[@alwayssparks9165]

I'm a Potterhead too, my parents also became emotionally absent since I started working, they complained endlessly of how broke they are so that I'll give them money, and to make me feel responsible because they bought me a small apartment "a place to stay" , so I won't live in their house, and one narcissistic man with whom I had a heavy trauma bound for years was cutting his veins for me, so I felt like Danish was the only person who knew my inside. Thank you for existing, I wouldn't have survived without you. I'm immensely grateful for the clarity and the power of discernment that you have. It's unbelievable how brilliantly you explain everything just like it is. From this point when I feel kinda healed and those parts of my deep emotional nature are not even accessible to me, I will just be cautious how much I give, and to who, after the horror that I don't know how my body and my skin endured throughout these years🖤

[@Jennifer-di4nl]

Thank u so much for covering this! I became a ferocious reader for escape . A Song of Ice and Fire was one of the books I lost myself in. I also developed insomnia.

[@tammyturner5507]

I find comfort in my Saviour Jesus Christ and knowing these are not his plans for me. I do stay up late for ME time. I do find solace in bathroom…only place of privacy and quietness. Gotten now where doing self neglect. I have a dog I take care of and recently started back an old hobby. I have fibromyalgia and degenerative joint disease so daily pain. Something needs to change for my health.

[@annsaunders5768]

Yes! Still at 64 staying up late! Watching the same DVD's over again. (Signs, Suburbia, Wizard of Oz...) Repeat songs. Norah Jones... Santana... Warm hot baths...with fragrant candles in a dark bathroom...cocoa, used to be international house coffees, ginger tea. Thank you. I needed to hear this. Definitely needed to hear this.

[@Flowersandtrees]

Yes indeed! I am up all night, escape by sleeping during the day, repeat on almost everything (music/habits). I go for a message, and long baths. Loving myself! Learn to take care of yourself !

[@lisambrancy5265]

I find all of your videos insightful. Although, I am transitioning from staying up late at night, I can completely identify with this habit. KZbin videos have been my friends and helped me stay grounded during my recovery. Now that I know better, I am tapering off with late night scrolling as it is now having an opposite effect and can have a serious impact on the quality of my sleep. Also, when I’m cooking, I find myself in Zen mode when creating a delicious recipe. It feels comforting and takes my mind off of everything. The benefit is a healthy and nourishing meal rather than a crappy, expensive meal made in a restaurant. Although I am struggling with balance, as I rather be cooking and creating then dealing with any of my other responsibilities, which has been a huge struggle completing these tasks. Let me know if you have a video that addresses this type of avoidance and lack of motivation to focus on the important things that keep piling up. I just don’t seem to have the head space for left brain analysis and activities as I once had and struggling to find balance in this area. Much appreciate your videos and keep making them. 😊❤

[@June865]

💯 regarding the books. I spent most of my time in the library gathering my favourite books so that I could have peace and quiet and become one of the characters 😄 so pleased I'm not alone 🥰

[@karnalsunita90]

Yes. I used to listen playlist of spiritual songs continuously for so many years years and that helped me

[@rebeccasnell2953]

Yes my narcissistist husband used to deprive me of sleep often.

[@sheerahbuilt3cities954]

I love animal rescue videos - yes, they are predictable, it's the same plot over and over again and it's a happy plot! I get to see people showing care and kindness, and I get to see abandoned, injured, and sick animals make it to a better life. To me, every animal rescue video reminds me of my humanity and tells me there are still excellent people out there. It is also a message to my heart and mind that I can get to someplace better than where I've been. I really appreciate the people who take the time to make them and share them.

[@cindys.9688]

Yes, noise triggers me a lot. I startle easily. Someone drops something on the floor - bang! I jump. A door closes hard - bang! I jump. It's probably a thump but it sounds like a bang. I hate it. Songs - that'd have to be worship songs. I get my most comfort from them. I love the term "emotional anchors". Extra hot showers - I love your reasoning behind them. I agree 100%! The term "touch starvation" says it so well. Simple routines - making my bed, washing dishes (+dry and put away). Straightening up a room. Simple, but comforting. Thank you, Danish, for your counsel and your powerful teachings. We're healing thanks to you.😊

[@MISSSUPERNOVA-]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD!!!!!!!! YESSSSS!!! The same movies again and again!!! Bitter moon, Talented Mr Ripley, Carol...

[@bekaharrell3885]

I engage in all 3. Praying for all of us!!!

[@sallycajunsaint3187]

Yes Amen😊

[@SuperEmpath-r3i]

"Aap hamko ham se jyada jante ho" Speechless

[@prophet1782]

True.

[@prophet1782]

Danish hamara Farishta hae.

[@karnalsunita90]

100% true

[@KateG-s8c]

Wow this hit hard! You just described me for most of my life - now I seek new music - now I watch new programmes - very carefully - I still do hot water - I still eat and drink exactly the same thing every day...... As a child I was begging to go to bed and looking at the same pictures and reading the same books through the night - finally - in my fifties I'm sleeping maybe six hours........

[@user-np4ge5wy4o]

Thank you Danish , God bless you. Hope some therapist in Italy can get this point .....also in court. Thank you sweet guy, it's nearly 5 years I am fighting

[@CapyQueen-q3x]

It’s true, I’ve been living with my narcissistic husband for 15 years. It’s so comfortable for me to rewatch same films, listen to same music. Staying up late while my husband was sleeping, it felt like a freedom. My favourite singer is Lana Del Rey. I like to take shower with really hot water. It’s so true, it’s hard for me to buy new things, clothes. I feel like I’m in same circle and can’t get out of it. I don’t live with him anymore, but he often comes to see our children and his impact on me is unstoppable. When I do something he doesn’t like he writes me many, many ugly messages about me, my parents, my miserable future without him. I never understood who he was until now, I thought it was me, something wrong with me. No matter how I tried nothing helped. I feel like he destroyed me, I’mnot sure I can heal

[@stellap7624]

'God specialises in things thought impossible'. He can heal you, or anyone in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. My best advice is reach out to God and Christ for the help, and healing you need.

[@freebirdrox7330]

I am probably same age or close to, your parents' age, but I get so much info from your vids! Yes.... I have a few certain movies and show I still watch. I'll watch shows like Leave it to Beaver, Brady Bunch, partridge Family, and more.....before I go to sleep! Same with music! You hit it on the button!

[@jonstewart5386]

Back to the Future series. I stop and watch any of those 3 movies when they're on TV. Something about having control over the past and being able change past injustices appeals to me.

[@fancypinkg]

Indiana jones for me

[@mosher121]

This was very helpful. Helped me connect some dots, but sadly, also revealed that the narcs in my life notice when I have found something comforting. Those are all the things they mess with and criticize me for.

[@kamicrum4408]

Yes!,I have a few TV shows I watch over & over, very calming, now I know why!

[@annm3064]

Thank you. I've always called myself plain jane for always going back to familiar things and listening to the same movies and soundtracks on repeat. "Poets of the Fall" and "Smash into Pieces" as some of my favorite bands I've been often criticized as a mother of 4 that I don't sleep as soon as they go to bed.... But I have always had trouble sleeping. Sleep is hard when all you want to do is relax without someone yelling at you...

[@DinFL]

Greetings Danish! I listened to several of your videos yesterday while cleaning. While there is nothing humorous about what you (or I) experienced growing up with narcissist parents, at times I felt like a bobble head. One example after another that I could relate too. So happy you put an end to the narcissist abuse. Bless you.

[@charlottestarot]

I listen to the same music from my childhood on repeat. Hours of Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, 90s music in general, and I'm very calmed by water. I still do all of these things. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 14 (My mother was my first narcissist) but in our early 30s doctors realized we are autistic. Thank you for making this content, we really appreciate the hope we've gotten from watching your videos and applying what we've learned. For the first time in what feels like a decade, I feel I can heal and recover myself and not just be a shell or a husk. I am an artist, a writer, seamstress, writer, queen of diy And I miss my crafts.

[@DinFL]

God bless you.

[@tricialynn8279]

Dearest Dinesh .. first of all I want to say you are the most wonderful person in the entire world you are fantastic you are so absolutely amazing and I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so tragically sorry for what you went through and honestly everything you say is exactly what I've been through even though you don't know me I am just a person on here but I lived your life and you have lived my life because I have the exact same upbringing only I had a sibling in there as well and he was just as abusive as my parents in letting me know how truly unimportant I am as a human being. My heart breaks for you my heart truly breaks for you and I thank God for you at the same time for giving this platform to all of us who have suffered these horrific atrocities at the hands of these monsters who ripped our souls into a zillion pieces and will never pay the price they just won't I can't believe how you nailed everything this video I think this was one of your best ones yet First I want to comment on the movies I am a female my favorite woman is Sigourney Weaver in the alien movies because she's always the hero and slayed all the monsters I watched that movie probably 900 times I know every word just like you said every movement of every actor and every scene Regarding hot showers I like a bath but it has to be hot as hot as I can get it I am also a night owl staying up my favorite time is between 11:00 and 4:00 a.m. where I can relax be myself have my favorite meal just like you said you were incredible you've nailed everything I read books but they're always horror books but the hero is not the cop that finds the bad guy ..... I read books where the bad guy has a secret past that no one knows about he was usually abused by his parents and he has a severe abuse history and no one ever finds out and that is why he turned out to be a bad person and I am not a bad person I'm a good person but I resonate with the abuse breaking somebody No one knows the severity of narcissistic abuse and how it breaks us as human beings that literally steals our soul seals our lives breaks us like glass thrown off a 20-story building Thank God for you Dinesh and all of you who are here commenting also to all my fellow brothers and sisters who have gone through this horror that destroys your life rips you apart from limb to limb God bless all of you and once again thank you jinesh don't know what I do without your videos and there's millions of us out there that feel the exact same way and I'm sorry for what you went through once again it breaks my heart in a million pieces you deserve better we all deserve better and we thank God for you for helping us come to the realization that we are not alone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@WearingAdos-el1xn]

OmG man, so!!!!!!!!!! True everything

[@DrDM2007]

All true for me!!! You are the best Danish!!!! Just wonderful!!!! I still do all of these as I am now taking care of my elderly narcissistic and ocpd father. Lots of domestic abuse in my childhood. Waiting for the day until they pass and I can have true peace. I do whatever I can to make myself feel better!!! ALL LOVE TO YOU DANISH AND ALL OF YOUR VIEWERS ALWAYS ❤❤❤❤

[@mayakatreeza6087]

I can resonate to all 5 and the rationale makes a lot of sense.

[@eumorphiaartemiou5748]

Absolutely true.

[@rebeccanatal1435]

You made me cry. I thought I was the only one. Thank you.

[@tonipeterson954]

Sadly we are all alone, together ... it's nice to be among others who understand ... what we have all endured ... and what lies beneath the Mask of a Narcissist

[@melliehobson8299]

Danish, always glad to see you. You've helped me so much! YES, I DO, watch and re-watch, read and re-read films and books--you're RIGHT! It's the comfort of the predictability!!! You are so insightful! I never realized this! Yes, i stay up late, sometimes all night working ( oil painting, jewelry, chandlering, making cards, etc.) Yes on the repetitive Playlist. Happy songs like Santana & Rob Thomas doing "Smooth," etc. Yes, so many times my books go swimming as I fall asleep in the tub, soaking for hours. You are so insightful into your own behavior, you have nailed down the modes of predictability and stability we all seek at the hands of narcissists.

[@amyc8442]

All points are spot on for me.

[@Sikanda.]

Hot showers, wearing same comfort clothes and rewatching films/tv shows many times couldn't be more true to me.

[@themermaidtree1144]

I do all of these. I was surprised about the shower thing, I thought I was the only one! I was so isolated by someone who never gave me affection I would have the water beat in my back a pretend the streams hitting my back was a human hand patting me. That is a loneliness unabused people I don’t think can fully comprehend. I’m so happy for you you have so many subscribers, but it makes me sad almost a half million people feel the same way and doesn’t even expose the tip of the iceberg. Love to you all.❤

[@Thequeenof90210]

The first one had me shook. I thought it was just coincidence until 2-5 finished me. So sad, yet so healing. Thank you!

[@privateinfo1711]

Several years ago, I watched Murphy's Romance hundreds of times. Also, Wang Chung makes me feel happy!

[@ChelseaRollo]

I came across you just yesterday, and the videos that I've watched so far are amazing and relatable. They have allowed me to learn even more about what I am going through/ healing from. I really love how calm you are and how soft-spoken you are when sharing information. I have a father who is a narcissist and a close friend who I learned is a narcissist. I constantly watch Doctor Who. Especially series 1-4 and skipping to the 60th anniversary because of the character that makes me feel safe and happy and I relate to her so much. Also, how much growth, mental stability, and emotional peace the show overall healed me to a degree. A few years ago I learned I am an empath and given all the years I was as a child to an adult, I noticed the patterns and how interesting it is that empaths attract narcissists or vice versa. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[@prueaddy]

Dear person. It’s exhausting maddening and feels so necessary and needed doesn’t it. I am free now. Accepting the need to control what I couldn’t as a child. They were insane, not me. I bless them and I keep going. So happy you still do it when stressed. I too have these and I smile, love my heart full whole self that got so terrified and angry in insanity and flip the switch to trust me, my Source and you light toucher. We stayed sane. How creative we are💜💝💜

[@marciaborst8026]

Music has helped me many, many times, especially Lynyrd Skynyrd, Bob Marley, Steve Earle, the Grateful Dead and Kid Rock.

[@shiny7301]

Totally agreed 💯💯💯💯 Thanks Danish for your precious contributions❤❤

[@Blueskies445]

So glad i found you! You are so spot on, things i never realized why i do what i do. Amazing! I am healing and you are such a big help!! Thank you❤

[@MissShellBayleaf44]

I relate to all 5 habits. Thank you DanishB🎉

[@CORINNATORRES-ut4ug]

YES, I can confirm that. Anything soothing, peaceful, and healing, I usually celebrate when the narc is either asleep or away. I love my candlelight and hot jasmine tea, sitting on the sofa surrounded by my sweet cats, watching lifetime movies based on true stories. I can sit in the warm water in the bathtub forever, with candlelight. Anything to soothe the soul, yes! ❤

[@daveporter9222]

I have five out of five of the habits. This is the closest thing I’ve had to therapy, feeling better already. Thank you very much.

[@Awakening717]

This is such good information. I used to watch the same movies as a child.(I grew up a lost child in a den of narcs)

[@roohatheema4704]

I totally agree I am following same routine to feel safe and stable. I am watching same programs or videos times and times to feel that everything is familiar to me . Use hot water to raise my spirit

[@rebeccanatal1435]

I did and still do many of these things, but one particular thing i did was clean up one spot in my house that was pretty much always within visual sight and the purpose was to focus on that spot in order to calm myself and block out the rest of the chaos generated by my narc. Focusing on that one spot reminded me that i will be able to remove him from my home eventually and return my home to how it was because i was the one who created order and i can do so again and will do so again when he is permanently gone.

[@VirginiaHauck-y4t]

Your description of your daily life mirrors mine completely! Only by the grace of God did we survive!

[@marekm9647]

Thank you. I have been doing all of hese most of my life.

[@surv2239]

Trying to make sure there's always order so that there's some control and peace. I don't like noise and screaming causes me to hurt myself so I'm not hurting others. I clean when no one's around because I have to do things with out being interrupted so I can get things accomplished, not that anyone appreciates it as they create more messes immediately when they get home.

[@ashleybrown1257]

Oh my god, I am so grateful to have found you and feel so validated. 100% yes to everything you have said and say Danish! I'm so relieved and at peace, you truly have no idea. Oh wait, yes, you do!

[@helendayle6502]

Taking long hot baths regulates me. It's nice to know the reason now.

[@MariaWestermeyer-hd3tg]

🙏🙏I have been doing all of these things you talk about, this has helped me so much, thank you🙏🙏🌻🌻

[@MissPril]

Oh my everything you just mentioned are things I cling too.For me its techo or disco music A Christmas Story. Over and over and over. May I say Sir you have come along way since i first started following you.😊

[@fancypinkg]

I enjoy the tbs marathon of that movie every year

[@cindyrhodes]

This list is so absolutely true. Now I know why I watch the ALIEN series over and over and over. I also think that the amount of horror in the film mirrors the amount of horror that I faced. I'm looking for predictability and understanding. Thank you! ALSO. Remember that horrible true story FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC? I still have not been able to watch that film all the way through. It's too real.

[@jh9912]

Movie Sybil for me.

[@cindyrhodes]

@jh9912 OMG THAT was one of the very first films that gutted me, too!!!!!!! 💐 🌹 🌸

[@CarolGraham-lh2zr]

I watch a few episodes of a specific old tv show to fall asleep at night. It’s how I fall asleep. Once you said it, it 100% clicked.

[@angelawang7951]

It is so so true! I like to watch “Pride & Prejudice” repeatedly certain episodes. Listen to the singing or piano music of Laudate Dominum, or some tranquil piano music. It soothes my anger & sadness! It calms me from being driven into the mode of insanity! Even though I am very sleepy at 11p, I would stay in bed listening or watching some KZbin’s after 12-1a. Daily routine is so comfortable to me. I don’t feel boring. Rather going to a social gathering makes me nervous and always not liking to gear into conversations ( I wasn’t like that before my 36 years marriage with a NPD husband.) Reading books, listening to spiritual talks are my safe haven!

[@janicemurphy4373]

Love to just be by myself, this use to be the case for me, but I have been free for some time now and thank Almighty God for that!!!!!!!!!