5 THINGS GERMAN PARENTS NEVER DO 🇩🇪 Parenting the German way

[@AntoinetteEmily]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my amazing channel supporters who have sent tips to support my YT channel. Your kindness and generosity mean more to me than words can express.🙏❤ ko-fi.com/antoinetteemily

[@Gert-DK]

Always remember the why. If you explain kids why they can't do this or why they must do that, it will glide down much easier. As soon they understand why, they will do it/or not do it. It is completely natural that they need it explained, they are studying to become an adult.

[@nadinerick1182]

I feel the same way about bosses. 😂

[@Izanuela22]

German parent here: All points are true. I did babytalk to my baby. But since she is a toddler I just talk to her and I try to talk in a slow and calm voice with good pronunciation and as many different words as possible, but also breaking down complicated explanations into easy to understand sentences. And yes it is because she is currently learning how to speak and I want her to learn proper pronunciation and as many words as possible.

[@la-go-xy]

Babys (

[@emiliajojo5703]

It's extremely important to dissapoint kids from time to time.the ability to deal with dissapointments is the most valuable gift you can give.

[@B.Pa.]

Dissapointments come anyway, there is no need to produce them, children should be able to rely on their parents.

[@nitka711]

@@B.Pa.yeah, but you should not cater to their every whim either. Saying no to their 20th stuffed bunny is OK! That is the kind of disappointment emilia was talking about.

[@ClaudiaThur]

@@B.Pa. Yes, they should rely on their parents. So Parents have to say the truth, even if it sometimes hurts. The art is, to tell the truth in a gentle way. I would never say to my daughter, her picture is awful, but I would ask, wether it looks, like she wanted it to look. And if she says no, I would maybe show her the tree-trick, or maybe not, because I cannot draw either :-)

[@vanessas2454]

@@B.Pa. Being honest to your child is not "producing" dissappointment - on the contrary: it is avoiding disappointment. Pretending that something average or bad is "amazing" or "so wonderful" will create false expectations and set them up for major disappointment by others. The things children try out with their parents need honest feedback. That´s what allows them to rely on their reactions. I always thanked my children for everything they gave me or made for me and but I never pretended that something was good that wasn´t. (I didn´t crush them with critizism, and of course I considered what they could do at that age.) Constructive criticism will help them excel, whereas automatic praise will only make expect compliments for anything.

[@Bea25049]

If you hear a german speaking in baby voice it's most likely to the dog 😂

[@v.r.2834]

Yes, it seams to me that they love more their dogs as children 🙄

[@Bea25049]

@@v.r.2834 As a german myself I'd like to say that we love our children as much as any other people no matter where they are from. Not speaking in a baby voice (or only if the child is very young) or in baby language is mostly because we want our children to speak as proper as they possibly can when they start attending kindergarten or preschool. That way they can focus on learning new stuff instead of things they should have learned at home 😊

[@tschaytschay4555]

​@@v.r.2834 if Baby voice is the equivalent of love for you, than you should check up on your definition of love. I've never spoken to children in Baby voice because it is disrespectful in my opinion. They are not dumb, just talk to them like a normal human being.

[@marge2548]

@@v.r.2834 Like very young kids (babies) dogs react more strongly to high pitched voices or rather an over-emulated tone of emphasis. This is why we use this language in babies and in dogs, but not in kids when they start to speak. And that's about it. Of course there are people with no connection to kids but a strong connection to animals (and of course also the other way round) - but I think there are some of those all over the world.

[@cosimawagner7831]

@@v.r.2834 Xenophobe alert!

[@Annie_in_wonderland_123]

If you constantly tell your kids in an over-the-top way how amazing everything the do is, you are in a way manipulating them. It is not about not praising them enough so they aim higher or work harder. It’s about being realistic about yourself and the world around you. If you’ve been taught your whole life that you are so talented that everything you do is amazing, it’ll hit hard once you realize your parents have been lying to you. Many times those are the kids, especially teenagers, that then can’t cope during this already vulnerable time, that they start to question everything about themselves. What I’m trying to say is, by praising your kid over the top, you are not necessarily improve their confidence because it’ll come and hit you harder in the end and really damage your confidence in an big way. Just be real with your kids. They don’t have to be perfect. They have to be happy and know their own worth!

[@tessaritter5339]

True. And over phraising can cause children to fear failures so much they won't risk any challanges. They always choose the easy way. Better to get children get used to failures and show them how to learn from them.

[@purpurina5663]

Absolutely. Also an important ingredient of mental health is feeling an ordinary human (although yes you are unique). Your issues are not that special, everyone goes through pain, sometimes things are just hard or not really the way we want.

[@MarkusWitthaut]

Thanks for the video. On hyperbole praise: If everything is amazing than nothing is amazing.

[@manub.3847]

"Temper Tantrum", most children go through this phase, with one having a "movie-worthy" outburst of anger, the other having theatrical tears and sighs. Sometimes anger because you really want something, sometimes exhaustion (for example, when mom or dad don't carry you after a long walk) As long as the parents react calmly and prudently, everything is fine.

[@sarderim]

To be honest, I have no idea why I keep watching your videos! I don't have kids, I have no contacts to New Zealand or anything. It must be your really nice accent and the fact that you're simply a really nice and sympathetic person! keep going, thanks for your videos! I'm subscribed now!

[@peterkoller3761]

ah yes, the accent: Eye-Cleaver headphones (before I looked at teh spelling, I thought by myself: shouldn´t rather be called Ear-Cleaver?

[@AntoinetteEmily]

This put a big smile on my face, thank you 🤗

[@peterkoller3761]

@@AntoinetteEmily which makes you even prettier ;)

[@lovespringgreen]

Same for me. I'm European, but have no connection to Germany or New Zealand. Nor do I have children. I just find Antoinette Emily to be a really kind and interesting person :) I've been subscribed for years

[@fionaryder632]

German Here! Never ever have my parents used a baby voice!! However, I might be a Bit extreme...I was taught to adress my parents by their first names. I have never called anyone "Mom" or "dad"

[@peterkoller3761]

Upon overhearing a conversation between a mother and a child in public, I once asked friends in the USA: are you talking to your child like it was a dog, or do you talk to your dog like it was your child?

[@BeWeRo]

I really like your videos and it is very interesting (and sometimes surprising!) for me as a German when you talk about your observations. For example the "baby-voice". I never noticed that we Germans don't do that. And as far as tricycles are concerned: Until about 20 years ago, every child had a tricycle. But little by little they were somewhat displaced by the balance bikes.

[@Attirbful]

I clearly remember an evening at a talent show at the Apollo in Harlem, NY, back in 1999, where there was a girl of about 14 or 15 years, who performed a song and she could not sing or hold a tune had her life depended on it. People thankfully were polite and did not laugh at her, but, by God, she was awful and of course, did not win the competition. I clearly remember having a discussion with my NY friends afterward, expressing my (German) shock at this girl taking part in a singing contest when clearly, she had zero skill in that area and probably excelled at completely other areas and I voiced my assumption that, as I had witnessed among my AuPair family and many American friend‘s families etc. that the constant parental oooohs and ahhhhs that children are given for every minor display or effort in anything, really, will at some point backfire when they are met with a) a professional environment that does not pamper their every move or when they are met with serious competition by real experts at what they are doing and they will then find out the harsh way that - honey, you‘re talents OBVIOUSLY lie somewhere else… So, I also really prefer the honest and constructive criticism from parents to being complimented over the moon for every mediocrity. It is somewhat like telling your child lies and keeping them from finding their real talent. Of course, very young children should not be discouraged from something they like, but I feel quite strongly that parents who know their children and their cognitive capacities will know the point in time when castles in the air must be met with a reality check… BTW: I likewise feel about putting your children down in areas in which they do show talent or have not really explored a talent. One should always be open to have children try out everything and I do not consent in PARENTS telling their children, they should NOT try to learn to play the piano, learn knitting, take a watercoloring class or get a snowboard because THEY assume their child will not develop some talent in a skill they themselves don‘t care for…

[@klarasee806]

I agree with that 100%. However, it must be said that in the USA this is not only done with children, but that adults also praise each other for every little thing, and that people there also praise and congratulate themselves much more often than we do in Germany. And woe betide you if you, as an adult, practice reflective, honest self-criticism - your American friends jump in and explain to you why you are actually great. The fact that direct, justified and constructive criticism, whether of yourself or of others, can be very healthy and helpful has not spread as widely there as it has here.

[@rainpooper7088]

Eh, we had enough talentless local singers at our local German talent shows as well. My friend was even pushed into singing by her family despite having no sense for it because they needed some entertainment at the local village festivals, happens quite a lot in rural areas. Ruined the relationship between her and another friend of mine for a while because his band was looking for a female lead singer and they had to reject her. Then the girl they ended up accepting was actually even worse than my friend and got in because one of the guys decided he wanted her as his girlfriend. Friend dodged a bullet there imo, she's a much better dancer than singer and competes on a national level these days.

[@norbertzillatron3456]

Balance bikes are *relatively* new in Germany. As a child, I had a tricycle and later a bike with training wheels. But that was several decades ago ...

[@Speireata4]

Same here. There were no balance bikes when I was young.

[@jennyh4025]

Same here. I think balance bikes only started to be a thing in Germany about 10-20 years ago.

[@Sabena-pl3cw]

My daughter is 20 and we got her a balance bike very early. It was then handed down to her younger brother. Both kids transitioned to proper bicycles very quickly without needing training wheels.

[@indrahx5905]

Right, I adored my tricycle as a 3 year old in the 80s. Did me no harm.

[@Gartenlust]

Back then, there were also scooters made of either wood or metal - the better ones had inflatable tyres and luggage racks. 😍

[@emiliajojo5703]

At the very start,baby voice is good,because the vowels are easier for the very small kid to pick up.but when they start to talk,just talk properly.

[@Herzschreiber]

I agree. Speaking baby voice to a newborn up to one year child is still very common and I guess it is absolutely okay and natural in some situations. When they start talking is the point where it at least should end.

[@barbaramuller5049]

It's also quite natural, we do it automatically to hrlp babies pick up not just the vowels, but also consonsnts, and befreundet that the melody of sentences​, the end of words and sentences and , of course, emotionslos 😊 @@Herzschreiber

[@Mandara1847]

@@barbaramuller5049we do notmdo that naturally. It is a learned behavior stupid people tend to spread. I would not even put my dog up to that babytelligent talk, lest alone a kid to be an intelligent human.

[@kamesennin22ify]

We do pitch up our voice but not so much. And maybe we stop it at an earlier age. But its in our DNA that we as child's give more attention to higher voices. And parents do that voice out of instinct.

[@purpurina5663]

I remember reading that a child's brain is particularly responsive to a high-pitched, feminine voice 😮

[@jgr_lilli_]

I grew up in the early 2000s, and back then balance bikes were basically u heard of. I had a bobby car, a tricycle, then a scooter, and later a bicycle with detachable training wheels. My parents tried so hard to teach me how to ride the bike without training wheels but I was always scared to fall off and I had never learnt to balance, so it took forever. Until one day the penny suddenly dropped when I was dared to ride friend's bicycle (who had no training wheels!) and suddenly got the hang of it. Then when my younger brother was 3 he got gifted a balance bike by our neighbours and it was a HUGE game changer. He rode it to and back from KiTa and when it got time for him to ride a pedal bicycle, it took him maybe one week to get the hang of it! I still remember me and my dad tossing my training wheels in the bin immediately afterwards. 😂

[@01jausten]

All my German kids had balance bikes. They’re aged 25, 22 and 20 now. Started cycling on normal bikes aged 3 & 4. We live in a very cycle oriented city though.

[@steffi009]

👍🏻in my childhood, kids started riding bikes, when they attended school, my own children could ride a bike wehen they were almost 3 years old. This made life easier, when you not always have a car at you disposal.

[@janastratmann-severin1892]

I can only say why I have never spoken to my or other children in a baby voice. Because I take my children seriously. I take their sensitivities, fears and insecurities seriously, but also their tantrums etc.. I hated not being taken seriously as a child and never wanted to treat my children like that. Now I have the opposite problem, my children think they don't have to take me seriously now that they are older. I am an old mom. My 16-year-old said the last time I told him that he wasn't allowed to do something he had done, but before I could even explain why, he said: "Yes, that's another one of those things that only you think that way because you're old. Everyone else doesn't care." Oh, that made me a bit more serious. I told him how much that had hurt me and that it definitely wouldn't work between us. I think he was a bit horrified to have hurt me because we have a great relationship. He apologized and gave me the opportunity to explain why he shouldn't do what we were talking about at the beginning, regardless of whether others do it or not. I think part of taking someone seriously is an explanation. Of course, this is difficult with small children. It's difficult to explain complex relationships and you can't pass on experiences, but it's important that you try. Because the explanation puts the child in a position to understand and only learn through it. If someone tells you that you have to do what I say because I want you to, without explanation, that makes you angry too, doesn't it?

[@AnnetteLudke-je5ll]

Children deseve an honest feedback. Otherwise you do not give them a chance to improve their skills.

[@helgaherbstreit5102]

There is a misconception that praise helps children's self-confidence. In reality, it harms them because they make their self-worth dependent on external evaluations. They should do the things they do because they enjoy doing them and because they connect with what they are doing. The praise is disruptive and puts pressure on repetition. It is innate in us that we speak high-level language to newborns and babies. Babies take it better. But we don't have to keep it that way when they get bigger.

[@danika9411]

I think that praise for when you actually did something well can improve self-confidence. It's not helpful when a child does something bad and you praise in an over the top way. But knowing when you did something well, when something is "good enough" is important. F.e. I was never praised and I started failing in life, because I grew up thinking I was never good enough. I became a workaholic and perfectionist, because I only ever got advice and critic and never praise, not even a "well done", because it "screws up the character". I developed burn out and often can't sleep or relax going back and forth between "needing to work more" and exhaustion. A middle way imo would be best where you can learn a realistic sense of self. I often feel like an imposter.

[@jgr_lilli_]

I think we do sometimes use "baby voice" for kids, but rarely ever in public, and rarely above a certain age. To some degree, changing your tone and cadence when talking to little kids is actually an instinctual behaviour (called "motherese"), but I personally always feel very silly using it on kids over 1 year, especially kids I don't know. Also, once a child can talk, it's probably better to model "natural" speaking patterns instead of imitating their speaking style, as they might feel mocked especially when you underestimate them / simplify your speaking too much.

[@viomouse]

I sometimes still speak to my 4 year old like that, but only when he's feeling low and behaving like a baby like crawling onto my arm.

[@norbertzillatron3456]

A "baby voice" is also very condescending, and even little children will soon get the impression that they aren't taken seriously.

[@marrykurie48]

That's right. I remember me as a four year old asking my dad why grown ups always laugh when I said something that was right and I meant it dead serious.

[@karinwenzel6361]

Exactly, and you usually don't imitate people's accents or dialects, that would considered quite condescending, too, even rude. And you don't do it, if someone, e.g. a foreigner, doesn't speak the language perfectly or worse if someone is lisping or stuttering. So why should kids be treated differently? They know from a very early age that this is not your normal voice.

[@oeqac7871]

True, but many people forget to sing with their children, to play with vocals and words, to play with their own voice, to play with their language, to use their hands to tell little stories and rhymes . Children LOVE these games. In German we call them "Ammenspiele" , nursery games.

[@ronny-lb1cr]

You are absolutely right and the danger is that it can worsen the relationship with your toddler. Speak to them reasonably otherwise they won't appreciate

[@EvaCornelia]

Yes, totally. In addition, if you see all the tantrums and drama going on in their lifes, for them this is all very real, big and serious. And then they have someone using babytalk to them. It's like a slap into their faces.

[@reneolthof6811]

Al five things sounds perfectly reasonable to me, being the proud Dutchie. Our neighbours are quite similar to us after all!

[@gaedingar9791]

The balance bikes are a somewhat new thing. About 25 years ago training wheels were the standard. I remember that so well, because my parents weren't fans of those, so I started learning how to ride a bike without them (and without a balance bike. I had a scooter but from that I got directly to a "normal" two wheel bike) But all my friends had training wheels.

[@aikohikari6587]

When I was a kid in the 90s we had tricycles and training wheels. Kids were usually around 5 years old when they got rid of their training wheels. My dad says he used to have a balance bike instead in the 50s. It was a wooden one though. I guess modern balance bikes became a big hit around 2010.

[@marge2548]

A bit earlier than that. When my eldest son was born in 2008 they were a thing already. I remember a friend's nephew having a woodden one as early as 2001 or 2002, but back then, it was more of a Walldorf kind of thing (my friend's mother was a Walldorf school teacher) and we viewed it as rather exotic.

[@t.a.k.palfrey3882]

The use of baby voice is something rarely seen outside English-speaking or Spanish-speaking countries, for any child of speaking age, and is not normal even for babies. My experience after 50+ yrs in paediatrics is that male relatives hardly ever do this. I have never understood this trait.

[@marrykurie48]

Balance bikes are a thing that came up in Germany after the time I learned how to ride a bike. But I'm nearly 44 years old.

[@ClaudiaPetersson]

Hey from a big New Zealand fan, our son is 23 years by now and he got a balance bike when he was small. As you said it was very easy for him to switch to a normal bike later on.

[@FrauTietze42]

I agree with the above: Germans talk to Babies in a baby voice but only in the first few months. Toddlers are considered to be proper personalities that deserve to be taken seriously, therefore you speak to them like to any other person.

[@AntoinetteEmily]

Thank you for sharing your perspective on how Germans interact with babies and toddlers. It's interesting to hear about the cultural differences in communication styles.

[@CJ-vw3dt]

As a German I learned a lot about New Zealand's parenting...the balance bike us actually only the last 20-25 years. When my son (now18) got his first bike at 3, it was sold with trainer wheels, that we removed because he had a balance bike since he was 2.

[@middleearth174]

Balance Bikes are a new thing here, I grew up in the 90s/00s and we all had tricycles :)

[@6718756]

i am german and i never thought of these things but yeah you are right... nice to think about it...

[@AntoinetteEmily]

Thank you for your perspective! It's always interesting to consider different viewpoints.

[@marionpetrosch5311]

We also have balance bikes witch are growing with your kids if you want you can build the bicycle pedals and the bicycle chain on and you only have to buy one bike. That’s really cool my both kids learn on it ( know they are 24 and 18) and we don’t have to buy a special balance bike and a normal bike. They learn it very very fast with this they both can drive their bikes bevor they gone in the ,, Kindergarten,, . Also a normal kids scooter is a very good thing to practice balance too

[@klarasee806]

My kids are 25 and 23 years old and they both had a balance bike. So did the other kids in our neighbourhood. Also my nephews who are now almost 30 years old. I am not 100% sure when it started. What I can say is that I am 50 and my generation definitely did not have balance bikes back then. It was very common 25 - 30 years ago, but it was also relatively new, so that elderly people sometimes commented on it because they found it to be remarkable.

[@patatita1166]

My elder son is 23 (born in 2001) and he already had a balance bike, they were already very common in Germany at that time. My husband is from Spain and there those bikes were very uncommon. Meanwhile it is a little different.

[@manub.3847]

Balance bikes became popular in the late 1990s, before that they were much more expensive than tricycles etc.

[@CHarlotte-ro4yi]

Most 90s baby’s never sat on a balance bike though, my cousins and I range from 89 to 99 and none of us had a balance bike. I think the year 2000 is probably a good cut off year for those bikes becoming popular

[@calise8783]

I saw balance bikes all over Germany when pregnant with my kids in the early 2000s. They also got balance bikes and were riding with pedals by 4 years old.

[@Candy7la3Creme]

When I was young balance bikes weren't a thing. (Born '96) My mom always says how much she loves that they are available now, because of the much lesser risks of bad injuries and training of the actual balance. ("Stützräder" (supporting wheels) on a bike have the reputation to be called "Stürzräder" (trip & fall wheels))

[@hejo721]

I think the trikes are conmon as a toy at home or kindergarden, because you can not ride a longer way on it without tired legs. Bikes/Laufräder you use at the street, when you have a walk, shopping, way to kindergarden... Also some families use scooter.

[@SoneaT]

About the behavior of kids in public, that must be different in the regions, bc i have always worked on this problem with my kids and when necessary apologized. But I don't explain everyone what the problem is. Because I doesn't change anything about the situation and sometimes I didn't know why it happened, but I always talked to them and explained why they can't behave like this. I guess we do baby voice in the early stages (at least I have) bc the vowls are easy to understand and the baby learns them better, but when they begin to speak, we Stopp doing that, so they will learn a propper language and as much words as possible. If you return the words of the kids, when they are wrong spelled, it will stay wrong.

[@sabrinabloch316]

I‘m a German mum and I agree to all of this😂😅😊

[@indrahx5905]

There are a couple of weird parenting methods I've seen in English speaking folks (mostly Americans): they love to tell their babies and toddlers say this, say that! Even though they can't speak yet and it makes no sense. No German parent ever does that. They also tell their kids what to feel, by asking rhetorical questions that leave no choice, for example when a kid meets his newborn sibling, most of those parents will ask "do you love him?!!". This is a behavior you would never see here. A two year old cannot possibly love the new little intruder he's just met and who takes away his mommy, but he is told what answer is expected of him. German parents respect their kid's own feelings and boundaries much more, which is again why they don't force their children to share things that belong to them. And lastly, those parents love to mention work; so when a toddler has been drawing for a while they might say something like "you're working so hard!". This is very non-German, again they're telling the kid how to feel, and turn playing into work (which probably reflects the typical American work ethic). So bottom line I'd say that Germans see children more like sensible individuals who have their own rights and can be trusted.

[@oldeuropemyhome76]

"Work" does not have exactly the same meaning as "Arbeit". It is used carrying out anything purposefully. Just scribbling is not work, making an actual drawing is.

[@klarasee806]

This exactly. Very well said 👏

[@klarasee806]

@@oldeuropemyhome76 The point is that American parents are much more likely to praise the effort rather than just assuming that the child is just having fun. It is very difficult for me to put into words, but I have noticed this different perspective on children's activities many times.

[@evas.l.2332]

Keen observing eye as always Antoinette! But balance bikes in NZ are definitely a thing! Every little kid rides around on one. Not sure since when, but at least 5 years plus! (My eldest is nearly 5) Keep up the good work! We've since moved back to Germany and i was actually surprised seeing so many balance bikes. I never heard of them growing up(in Germany)

[@marie-louisehuber8408]

When my baby started talking I copied her sounds and used her words for example bimbam for church and I think this is natural and a very good way to help the child to learn language. I´m german. She talked quite early and very good. I love her little mistakes.

[@AntoinetteEmily]

That's such a wonderful way to encourage language development in your baby! It's great to hear that she's talking early and doing so well. Keep up the good work, and enjoy those adorable little mistakes - they're all part of the learning process!

[@semadt]

I think German parents generally adopt a more realistic view on parenting: There's no use praising your child over the top for minor things, because (a) you imply there's no need to learn more or to improve oneself, and (b) you don't give yourself room to really go over the top when your child has done something amazing. In a similar line, babytalk to toddlers is not that useful since you want your child (presumably) to learn to speak the right way - which means teaching by example, speaking clearly in a normal voice. The balance bikes are relatively new, they were the new thing to use around the millenium mark, but back then tricycles were still around a lot, as were bikes with training wheels.

[@AntoinetteEmily]

That's an interesting perspective on parenting and child development. It makes sense to focus on genuine achievements and provide space for real celebrations. And it's true that setting a good example with clear communication is important for children's language development. The evolution of bikes from tricycles to balance bikes is fascinating to consider in the context of childhood learning and growth.

[@ThomasBussmann]

I'd say the baby voice is reserved to bed time stories when the parent is imitating some character from a fairy tale or such.

[@purpurina5663]

The not apologizing I think is also because if the child realizes the parent is embarrassed, he/she knows there's a source of power in the tantrum.

[@RalfP-v3s]

as ever the mix is the clue to success. Free style where ever it is possible by for example in restaurant respecting rules. Explaning everything everywhere on every time is important but if a situation becomes dangerous a harsh and strict commando must be enough to protect the kid.

[@sabineroberts3283]

My two younger children learned bike riding on a Balance bike. IT startet to be trendy in the early 2000. I found it quite good and they learned it quicker than my two older children on their bikes with Stützräder ( extra helps )😅 Balance Bikes are in ( trendy)

[@annepertl5207]

Thank you for this interesting video! As a german mother and now grandmother for about 1 year, I can say that you are right and you are not right. 😁 In Germany parenting has changed in the last 20 to 30 years. I don't know if anybody outside of our country knows about the evolution of parents from parenting to over-parenting. In Germany we call those parents helicopter-parents. They are overprotective, overanxious and they always kind of "circle" over their kids like a helicopter. They want to control everything and always try to arrange the best situations for their kids - even if it causes a disadvantage for others. And as always - it depends on the person. Some do parenting in one way and some in another way. It's okay for me, as long as they do not harm their kids. Sorry for my english, I hope you can understand what I wanted to say - I don't think that there is the Germany parenting or the New Zealand parenting. Depending on the different circumstances and cultures there is perhaps a usual way for parenting

[@Silbertrane-pw8dp]

As for drawing: I would never tell a child something is ugly or not right, that crippels the childs confidence in it's drawing skills and may harm their fantasy. Ich would not get glowingly amazed either, but if I liked something about it I would say that.

[@marion2687]

I have two boys (3 and 5) and I do talk in baby voice, if they behave like babys and of cause they hate it. :D

[@BenjaminLanzinger]

When your child gets praised for stuff which ist not really good, how should they get a Idea of what is good or Bad?

[@thefancyone784]

I am 28 and from Germany and I learned biking with trainer wheels :) I think the balance bikes are quite a new thing. For the babyvoice: I am studying to be a teacher and we learned that a baby vioce or speaking to "easily" indeed isn't the best thing to do, because children copy their surroundings, especially the parents and if they don't speak in full sentences, where should they learn it from?

[@peterp459]

Balance bikes weren't really a thing in Germany until about 20-25 years ago, I would say. Tricycles weren't a thing either. Before balance bikes came up, the usual thing were kids bikes with training wheels. Something you barely see anymore. Which is great, because it completely lacks the balancing which is the hardest thing to learn for kids when learning to ride a bike.

[@stefanieseidler2784]

Oh yes! Tricycles WERE a thing! But they were for small children. You got your first "real" bike (with training wheels) maybe at the age of 5 or so.

[@89taklung]

As a german mother and educator: Most examples you give have actually better for childrens development So if you dress kids in designer clothes they learn they need to focus on they appearance and that that is most important If you apolagize for you childrens normal emotions then they internalize these emotions are something to apologize for, that it is wrong to feel that way. The not doing the baby voice thing makes children feel more seen as a real person who is taken more seriously. The praising is just dependent on what you are used to, we germans generally do not use these over exaggerated praises. Also it is really the wrong kind of praise as you really showed with you example. If parents just go " wow, amazing" for whatevercthe child does not draw for the sake of drawing anymore but for the praise. If it doesn't get it, it will stop drawing, the internal motivation gets replaced by the seek for praises It is better to show interest " there are so many colours there" of show that you see them make progress "oh this time you dres hands! That is a first timer" so the child sees you care enough to look at that picture. The bike thing... we do have trycicley and like running bikes for smaller kids but when we get a real bike we usually don't use training wheels, though I had them as a child. I guess that is just aypreferance thing XD it doesn't really matter.

[@PhilippKiessler]

On your Question at 6:57 - you said it yourself: How is a child supposed to learn speaking properly, if it's spoken to like an idiot.

[@natashaw401]

Yes practical clothes better than trendy stuff kids esp.

[@silsternensand]

1. Rhythm and tone melody of the “baby voice” is innate. It signals affection. Babies therefore prefer to turn to people who speak to them in a baby voice. Once a child has more opportunities to express their needs, baby voice becomes unnecessary. However, adults can still fall into the baby voice (because it is innate) when explicitly addressing a small child. Depending on cultural practices, adults more or less often use a baby voice when talking to small children. 2. Children learn the basic melody of their native language while still in the womb. After birth, they can already recognize whether adults speak in their native language and prefer to turn to them - but only after the baby's voice in the ranking. The baby's voice therefore acts as a kind of universal language. So Babies all over the world are able to identify the person which offers them the most help to survive. 3. When adults praise a child excessively, they deprive the child of the opportunity to learn to evaluate themselves realistically. Then there is no increase. It is also important to tell the child if something is not going well. As long as you don't devalue the child! Therefore, it is better to praise the child for the commitment with which she/he painted her/his picture, for example, instead of praising the picture or the child itself. In this way, children can learn that, for example, “practice makes perfect”. Children who are praised for every little thing no longer try harder. Why should they?

[@ClaudiaThur]

Two-Wheel Bikes (Laufräder) for small children are here in Germeny also relativly new. I never saw them in my childhood. And now there come the first signs, they are not perfect. The children lern to ride a bike a bit too early. So many Kids on bike don't master to use the brakes, which is essential to use the bike on streets. So there comes a new form of Laufrad: a bit bigger than the first one, with brakes like a bike but still without pedals. Or you have to teach braking with the kids.

[@joeviolet4185]

I agree. When our children were small 30 years ago, you did not get Laufräder. You bought stabilizer wheels with a normal bike. But our daughter hated them touching the ground and preventing her from properly incline the bike going through a curve. Thus, we mounted them very far away from the ground so that during normal biking they never touched it. Only if the bike was going to topple over, the stabilizers prevented this. With this she was comfortable and after a few days she demanded to remove the training wheels completely as she felt that she would not need them any more.

[@joannajaworska0000]

Even non-german speakers can recognise when a german parent gently scolds off his/her child not by shouting at him/her but by using stressed name and surname e.g. Hans Peter Müller räum bitte deine Sachen auf. The tone of voice isn't raised, still a child recognises the mum or dad is serious😂

[@wora1111]

With our kids we used the combination of first and second name (rather than lastname) to make a point. And the kids understood very well.

[@Mandara1847]

Of course we have tricicles in Germany - you can even see them in GenX-childhood videos!

[@hakelliese7933]

My daughter is 17, she had both a tricycle and a balance bike. She was always small for her age so she rode the tricycle until her legs got long enough for a balance bike

[@beageler]

Why would I lie to a child, that is still learning and much more dependent on feedback than grown-ups (who still need it)? I love presents from kids because they wanted to give me that present, but I wouldn't lie to them about the quality of the present. Similar with the baby speak. I rather can't understand why people would use baby speak with children aside from sometimes when one is overwhelmed by their cuteness. I don't lie to grown-ups about their work, either, by the way. The thing about excusing the children's normal actions is that it is a slippery slope to abusing the children because people don't like children being children (i.e. forcing them to be quiet when they have tantrums (or just enjoy a loud noise) in public because other people might be annoyed). I had training wheels, in the late 80's. I think the balance bikes have been only a thing in the last decades, I wouldn't be surprised if training wheels were still a thing in the early 00's. And it's just that balance bikes are better. With training wheels it takes much longer for children to trust a bike's stability. For me personally they had to trick me. A friend's dad (since my dad died when I was very young) took off my training wheels and told me he would run and hold me up if I wasn't fast enough to not fall, but I had to pedal myself. He stopped running after a few meters, and I looked back only 20 meters further on. After that I got it and could ride my bike without training wheels.

[@ClaudiaThur]

This trick my father in law tried with my husband when he was about 7 or so. He looked around, saw, that he was alone, fell, and never got on the bike again.

[@Why-D]

To a baby you use less words, speak more slowely, bit you usually use the normal voice. On the one hand, it is important for the kid to understand and learn the "tone"(?) of the voice, if you are nice or angry. So there is a difference between an annoyed "no" or a harsh "NO". Second, as kids learn fast and learn that adults speak in a different tone on "serious matters", how will you explain to them, that this is a serious matter, when you talk to the kid in a totally different tone? Standard reply on a kids drawing: "Nice ... what is that?" And if you understand, that there are people on the picture you may ask: "Nice, ... who are they?" Well, the tricyle or a Kettcar, were you have to tunr the pedals and the balance bike is a good combination. First the learn to turn the pedals and then they learn to keep balance. And shortly after you can start with bike without additonal wheels.

[@artgedeck4560]

In some areas, it's not a good idea to excuse a child's behavior. You do that exactly once and you get a shitstorm for it. You are incompetent and should raise your child better. The absolute focus on the child is based on stopping the behavior as quickly as possible in order to avoid people getting upset about how poorly you are raising your children.

[@AntoinetteEmily]

I understand your concern about excusing a child's behavior. It's important to address it effectively to avoid any misunderstandings. Remember, parenting is a learning process for both the child and the parent.

[@mrk131324]

Number six: Posting pictures of kids.

[@kls6612]

I remember when the trend started in the US, having adult clothes for children, and I was horrified. Parents started taking 9 - and 10 year old girls to get their nails done. Then, the cell phones became the next new thing you had to buy for kids. I couldn't understand why society started pushing these trends. I still do not like it.

[@eisikater1584]

I think it's all true what you say about German parents, but the "baby talk" thing really is complicated. Sometimes I overhear people still using baby talk, but they're definitely getting less. That probably has to do with the German health care system, as women who are pregnant with their first child are encouraged to visit courses to prepare for birth and the early time, and it's paid for by their health insurance, and how you should talk to your child is part of that. General rule is, use normal phrases and speak in a calm voice. There are official suggestions by psychologists, and many more "less official" by friends, relatives, and from books, so in the end I think all you can do is trust your feelings.

[@ChelseaCherryblossom]

I think many people also don't do baby voice and instead focus on speaking clearly but simply, especially when children begin speaking.

[@anniehasting1133]

So interesting… Every one of your points is autistic culture in the U.S. (Except balance bikes, which are getting pretty common here. You’re right that they’re amazing.)

[@Xundqwer]

This video could also have been named, "questionable parenting practices in New Zealand"😂

[@katjakettmann8679]

Interesting. I am from Luxembourg, Country near Germany😊 but we are more like New Zealand Parents 😅

[@jessicaely2521]

Training wheels are better. You can buy 1 bike and only 1 bike until they are 8 or 9. My daughter had a trike and then training wheels and she was riding her bike with no training wheels at 3. The trike we taught her how to pedal and use the hand break (it was on the side). Then I guess we treated the bike as a balance bike (sort of). We had the wheels raised as high as possible right off the bat. Our daughter knew how to pedal so we didn't have to worry about that. After she had her balance, we totally took off 1 training wheel. After that se was riding her bike. It took 6 months of everyday training to get her to riding in a 2 wheeler. Now we'll have this bike for another 6 years. My nephew had a balance bike and he didn't learn to ride a 2 wheeler until he was 7. My brother gave him the 2 wheel bike to use, but my nephew was to overwhelmed with learning to pedal, brake, and keep his balance. Finally last Christmas he learned to ride his bike. My niece is the same age as my daughter and is still on her balance bike despite having a 2 wheel bike ready for her. All kids are different when they learn to ride their bike and different things overwhelm different children. *Edit you look at the way my husband learned to ride a bike you would say trikes, balance bikes, and training wheels are unnecessary. My husband was taught on a regular 2 wheel bike. His older friend ran next to him to keep his balance. Eventually the friend let go and my husband was riding on his own.

[@emiliajojo5703]

You're back!😅❤

[@hejo721]

I don't know if it is better to have a higher voice, when we talk to children. I think, it could be a better way to say "I see you and I like you." Maybe we talk in a normal voice with childs, because we want see them as a partner? I see you - Please se me. But I don't know.

[@JonasReichert1992]

We do speak in Baby Voice to Babys- but only until they are no Baby anymore and can at least say something

[@anda266]

I think Germans are more rational than emotional and this also reflects in the way they raise their children...

[@aaana2003]

Jedna od stvari što mi se ne sviđa je ta da ljudi ne odgajaju djecu da dijele igračke. To ćete rijetko vidjeti u parkiću. Također neki odgajaju djecu da se ne druže s djecom koja su iz inozemstva. Neki ne opominju djecu ako su preglasna- to im jednostavno ne smeta, i baš ih briga ako su drugim ljudima naporni. Dosta njih radi toga su egocentrična i napadna.

[@natashaw401]

Yes comfort helps w headphones

[@JonasReichert1992]

Why would I apologise for something my child does?

[@JaniceHope]

Hmmm German parents do speak to their children in a baby voice.... when they are babies. As soon as the kid starts walking and talking more parents switch to a sort of simple upbeat German that gradually becomes normal German.

[@klarasee806]

I always find it a bit disrespectful to speak to small children in a baby voice. Just because little children actually still have a baby or toddler voice or still have difficulty expressing themselves like an adult doesn't mean that adults have to act as if children can't understand us when we talk to them normally. But it gets on my nerves just as much when people from other countries speak to their pets as if they're out of their minds and imagine that animals think in a strange baby language. Regardless of whether it's towards children or animals - in my eyes that's not loving, but disrespectful and degrading. However, I understand that it's not meant that way at all and that you find it normal and loving if you've been used to it from a young age in your own country. At the end of the day, it's simply a cultural difference that has grown over many, many generations.

[@Siegbert85]

In my experience the "baby voice" is a female thing.. idk, my little sister does it and my mother too. I only talk to cats this way xD

[@tamarah6663]

German parents dont tell their teenage children that they love them. They know it but if I would do this in public my daughter would be ASHAMED ;⁠-⁠) She was shocked that my US friend said it to her son EVERY day!

[@natashaw401]

Headphones look great more than 1 colour

[@naomi6408]

I love your accent!

[@lorisutherland7728]

Very good show.

[@natashaw401]

Yes a new video

[@marina__--__]

2:51: "If you see a child dressed like this, usually it is a non german child" - what?!?! What do you know about who is german and who is not? And who are you to deny that someone belongs? Not all german parents are dressing their children the way you describe it! There are different clothing styles for children too! You can't tell where someone comes from based on their clothes, let alone claim to know which ethnic group or nation they feel they belong to and then even *deny* that they belong - based on their clothes 😳 omg! What kind of stereotype is being created here? An image of the appearance of "german" children is being created here, of a style of dress and even of prosperity - as if all german parents were wealthy and had money for "good quality clothes" (3:14).

[@AntoinetteEmily]

I understand your concern and I apologize if my comment came across as stereotypical. You are absolutely right that clothing does not determine someone's nationality or ethnicity. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, and I will be more mindful of how I express cultural differences in the future.

[@anhe3409]

Funny to hear that. I’m German living in France and here the „old school“ of education is still in place. I sometimes feel like I do not fit in with my education style and I know why 😅

[@AntoinetteEmily]

That's quite the cultural switch! It can be tough to adapt to a different education style, but it sounds like you're handling it with humor and grace. Keep being true to yourself! 😄

[@mattesrocket]

true stories 😃

[@hejo721]

😅So it must be growing up from little childs to adulds, that we became these grumpy, unhappy, honest people we where hatet in the world 😉 dont tell your child it do a amazing job. Maybe we should for beeing charming people. 🤔

[@BenjaminLanzinger]

For Point 1 let Kids bei Kids, they are adult quite too soon.

[@v.r.2834]

Talking to a baby in baby voice is beautiful, we do this all the time ( I am from Serbia, living in Germany for 25 years) and our children know that we take them very seriously, very seriously. Germans are generally cold to their children, but talking in baby voice to their animal pets.

[@sabinenoll5947]

Because animals are not people.

[@silkeborowski8749]

I suppose most European parents are similar to German parents.

[@12e_1]

Tantrums are no thing to excuse, so we don't. Babyvoice sounds always a bit stupid, we want our Kids to talk normal. Overpraising about everything is not good.

[@butenbremer1965]

Gummistiefel und Matschhosen im Kindergarten - wo würde ich wohl selbst am liebsten aufwachsen wollen?...

[@maxtrutnev1348]

Danzig Breslau und Stettin sind Deutsche stadte wie Berlin

[@RalfP-v3s]

wau was stimmt mir dir den nicht?

[@Moonchild0]

1) I think designer outfits are not for kids. They grow out and are expensive af. That's why most people won't even consider it. Also you usually give away clothes if the child outgrow it. Pratical clothes are easier to give away, also more environment friendly. I remember I had two girls living in my neighboorhood that around my age and I always had the opportunity to grab the clothes I liked when the parents gave away their kids clothes. Same - of course - happened to my clothes when I outgrow them. 2) Why apologize? Everyone was a kid once and probably did the same thing. It might take a while but a kid learns it that way - that they can't buy everything every time. Everyone learned it that way. It's hard, but I think that learns you being in charge with your money, especially when they get pocket money. Of course they can blow it once and buy an expensive item... or they handle it wiser and only buy smaller things once a while. 3) Children aren't dumb. And they aren't pets. It's helpful for their development to understand so they can learn. One day they will be an adult. And I think giving the kids to think like an adult at very young age, it makes them more responsible. 4) Praises should be used sparingly and not all the time. I agree with you that constructive criticism helps the child. I also think as an adult you'd be advised to give constructive criticism. I think if you do it all the time, you do it to your kids too. I think the most awesome thing I can remember and I think this is still very much today: When you have a good full year certificate you get goodies in stores. It's a thing here in Austria, and I think also in Germany. It's like the ultimate surprise and praise if you did good in school. 5) I think it's not that different. Smaller kids will have trycicles but when you grow up parents won't buy an bigger trycicle. It's expensice and why? So they rather buy a real bike but you put on bicycle supports (the mini wheels on the rear front). The thought behind it is: If the kids not needing any bicyle supports you can mount down and you have a real bike for the kid. It's actually more pratical (and cheaper) that way. You can used it beyond the trycicle. But then again there are trycicles that you can use with even 10 months, or some that grow with you. Or even for adults...but I think most kids in Germany or Austria (or Europe) learn it they way I described it.

[@la-go-xy]

About (1) Also, your kids are not there to be goggled at, bragged with or living their parent's dream! They are individuals in their own rights and deserve a healthy development. Thap can be hindered or supported also by clothing. If ypu respect them, they kids will tell you as soon as they have their own ideas abouit clothong and you can discuss what's reasonable.