WHY ARE GERMAN KIDS LIKE THIS?

⤹Everything you want to know is here!⤵︎
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Let me talk about the creativity point a little more here. One thing I find to be very interesting regarding creativity in Germany is the simple fact that it changes over the years when kids are turning into adults. One thing I have noticed is that somewhere down the line there is more of a push for streamlined commonality and I always wonder where and when this starts happening because the points I list in this video would point towards a huge boom in individuality.
00:00 Intro
03:45 Being a kid in Germany
16:52 Outro
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[@HayleyAlexis]

Good morning everyone! I hope you are enjoying this beautiful Saturday as much as I am :) Lingopie has been one of my favorite brands to work with and would love for yall to check them out: bit.ly/Lingopie-Hayley

[@keenmate9719]

There is something going on with you, isn't it? You look concerned, sad even.. I've noticed this several videos back. Well, if it's not your heallth it will pass I'm sure.

[@silkwesir1444]

@@keenmate9719 How is that not normal in these times...? I can't remember when I last was not concerned and a bit sad... Must have been more than 10 years. But isn't that how that's supposed to be? It's "Red Alert" on Starship Earth. I wonder why so many people do not seem very concerned and sad...

[@HayleyAlexis]

@@keenmate9719 My life is relatively stressful right now. I am not sad (I am actually quite happy at this exact moment) just stressed. There isn't much I can do about it though (I don't like taking breaks from life because I get way too bored). KZbin is a lot of work, I am in school (and it's a lot harder than I expected- plus I missed my final exams when I was in the hospital which took a huge toll on me), there is a stressful election happening in a few weeks, and I am still working on getting my German permanent residency card... Sprinkle in a pandemic.....and getting out of the hospital a month ago.... it is a lot. Plus trying to form a new sleeping schedule has been kicking my ass ;)

[@keenmate9719]

@@HayleyAlexis don't let me started on sleeping schedule. I LOVE LOVE LLLOOOOVVVEEE nights, especially in the city, I feel like the town is all mine and I can listen to sounds of night like a train in far distance, diffent types of industrial sounds from factories, birds or lions in a Zoo that is near by. BUT it takes huge toll on my health like nonstop high pitch noise in my ears, I feel hot all the time, tiredness and so on. I'm really fighting with this, I know I should go to bed but I really don't want to ;-) Anyway, as much as all these things seem important, in ten years you probably even remember them and as a taoist I see only the health as important everything else is just something I have to deal with and that no matter how they end up can both bring something good or bad, only future will tell, so there is no need to worry about them.

[@viomouse]

Hayley, about kindergartens, how do you find these ones where children can build their own stuff as you mentioned? I think that's amazing but I've never seen anything like that. Which keywords would you search for?

[@sashko8087]

No matter how kind the children in other countries may be, German children are Kinder 😉😂

[@ghostintheshell21]

Hahahaha

[@maishamaliha1850]

Lol 😆🤣

[@entjadival8485]

Nobody can argue with that 😄

[@orlathemming8689]

Cool 😁

[@franhunne8929]

That is Five Deutschmark in the Dadjoke-jar.

[@buddy1155]

People who don't want to leave their kids home alone don't worry about the kids, they worry about the house.

[@PliuNoShi]

True. Regards, a German mom

[@lotharschepers2240]

And this with good reason.

[@denzzlinga]

True. Kids do all kinds of nonsense when they are alone and nobody is watching them. I as a train driver can see this every time when lot of small kids are alone in the train. They are nibbling candy making a big mess, write stuff on the walls with their pens, peel off the anti-scrating film that is on the windows, etc :D

[@lisastenzel5713]

Yeah, but also the possible danger. They can hurt themselfs while doing something stupid and then they panic and are not able to get help

[@annemariavonroith4268]

Somebody should know that the children are alone! It is safer! But it depence on the children! My kids where never holy 😆😆! But from an early age used to do things by themself! They hurts there fingers, several times! We sah it as normal! By the time they know, "Aha, better keep my hands away"!! They know, walking to the left side of the street! I did it always with them! Even if there have been no cars!! Children are understand more than we think! Learning by doing! If we had to go somewhere, we told a neighbor! I didnd want to lock them up in the house, they have to come out by fire, or whatever! All of them have been together in one room. They liket it, it was cosy! There was no mobile phone, one phone in the house! The second born was a doplomatic child! The oldest very bright! The thirt one wild Nr.4 peacefull! I sah no danger! But, it depence also on the age. All of our children have been groing up on Farms. We are no Farmers, but it is the best way, if possible, to grow up! Always outside with Animals, sometimes sleeping in the Barnes! Drinking milk directly from the cow! And they are learning to work for the food! Sure they hurts themself sometimes, but it belongs to our life! To keep them away from everything is not good. Al 4 can ride a Horse, what is not so normal here! We have no Cowboys here 😉😢😠😃😃. Well, as i see and here it, this are happy people now and my grand children are educated in the same way! Only that this are 4 Girls!!

[@K__a__M__I]

One of the most vital rules of Pedagogy and Child development is 'Children _never_ ask questions to which they can't handle the answer to' The tricky part for grown-ups is keeping the answer in accordance with a childs developmental level. And that is hard work for most people.

[@HayleyAlexis]

That is actually very interesting though.... but I guess very true.. I guess some people are scared to give "too much" information

[@wora1111]

@@HayleyAlexis TMI is American, FYI is the German way.

[@kilsestoffel3690]

When I was 16, my 8yo brother CAME to me and wanted to know, what is gay and If it's bad ( a friend of him had used the word as an insult). I did my best to explain and later I told our mom about it, because it might be good to have a "more adult" explanation of this important topic She told me, he asked her too and also our dad. He tried to get three Independent, trustworthy opinions about this topic. He was quiet the next few days, you could literally see his mind working.

[@ThePixel1983]

@@kilsestoffel3690 This is so cool! He literally looked for different sources to get accurate information!

[@kilsestoffel3690]

@@ThePixel1983 Being raised by our parents, I might have a similar opinion like them.. but he did his best and I was amazed about it

[@liesascott5414]

In Germany it is forbidden to have minor babysitters. Anyone who watches other people's children needs to be 18. However the kids are expected to look after them self for a while as soon as they go to school. To show how independent kids in Germany are here is a story. My 9 year old son was very interested in the performances at the city theater. I took my kids there to see plays, especially around Christmas. He wanted to participate in plays but was told by the theater director that they rarely had parts for a child. One day I received a call from the theater asking me if my son was still interested in acting. I told them I would talk to him and let them know. I told my son that the theater had called. He said he did not know if he wanted to act. Later that day he told me he wanted to ride the bus to town because there was a bank who gave away very special advents calendars for children. He dressed nicely like always, took his bus pass and left. Half an hour later I got a call from the superintendent of the theater. He said "your little boy is here and made a contract with us for one of the lead parts in the operetta "Der Fidele Bauer'",( a very famous musical). Of course I had to agree with it but he had on his own terms taken action to do this. He performed as a singer and actor 21 nights at a full house.

[@holgerplitzko6404]

That´s not correct. The earliest age to start baby sitting with confirmation of the of parents is 13 in Germany. If only for 2 hours per day from 8 - 18 and outside of school time.

[@liesascott5414]

@@holgerplitzko6404 For money???

[@holgerplitzko6404]

@@liesascott5414 Well, I improved my pocket money with baby sitting when I was that age. Don´t know for sure how it is today, but I think I heard that you have to be age of 13 to be allowed to baby sit and when you are 15 the possible time of day improves from maximal 18 to 20 in the evening.

[@Ella.Sunflower]

@@liesascott5414 yup, it always depends on the family but usually you would get 7-10€ per hour

[@lindabmc7932]

My daughter did a certified babysitter course at school at 13 years old . They were told tjat they shouldn't babysit for children under 1 years old until they are atleast 15. I think it is different all over Germany

[@Pewtah]

The german version of Sesame Street (Sesamstraße) since the 1970s has an intro song, and a line of the lyrics describes the educational approach well:: "Wer nicht fragt bleibt dumm!" i.e. "Someone, who does not ask, remains stupid!" And you need someone who explains the answer. Then a kid can grow.

[@pferdeklauerin]

Haha and the German soundtrack goes " wer wie was? Der die das! Wieso weshalb warum? In englisch: who how what? the the the! why why why? XD

[@Pewtah]

@@pferdeklauerin And it goes on with "1000 great things, you can see them everywhere. Sometimes you have to ask to understand them." So true.

[@MAEX25]

And don’t forget „Die Sendung mit der Maus“

[@solokom]

@@pferdeklauerin Finally, someone else noticed it how weird the translation would be! XD

[@lonespokesperson7254]

@@pferdeklauerin Sesame Street lyrics Sunny Day Sweepin' the clouds away On my way to where the air is sweet Can you tell me how to get? How to get to Sesame Street Come and play Everything's A-OK Friendly neighbors there That's where we meet Can you tell me how to get How to get to Sesame Street It's a magic carpet ride Every door will open wide To happy people like you Happy people like What a beautiful Sunny Day Sweepin' the clouds away On my way to where the air is sweet Can you tell me how to get, How to get to Sesame Street... How to get to Sesame Street How to get to...

[@KitsuneHB]

I (german) was 12 years old when I was alone at home in the evening for the first time. My sister just moved out and my parents went bowling. My parents also got a farm with pigs. My parents warned me one pregnant pig could give birth to piglets this evening and I have to look after the pig regularly and to take care of the piglets. And it happened! I did my duty, my parents were happy and I was proud of myself. I also took care of tomato plants and learned cooking some simple meals in elementary school and made a cake together with a friend when I was 10.

[@liesascott5414]

I worked at a Kindergarten (preschool) in Northern Germany where all children had swimming lessons once a week at the public elementary school's indoor swimming pool. The school and the parents together had decided to let all the kids in Kindergarten and school swim nude, boys and girls together. They also used the same dressing rooms. I worked there for one year and have never experience anything out of the ordinary. It was great. The kids didn't think anything of it.

[@HayleyAlexis]

That is awesome!!!

[@fenrirsghost2051]

I was in at Danish school in the veeeery north of Germany. Even not we (boys and girls) shared dressing room together, but also shower together after sport up to 2. degree. Some of the girls were my classmates up to 10. degree. I (53 yo now) still have contact to some of them. It has never been a thing for us at all. Just normal.

[@sunkisses74]

A Kindergarten kid kisses another - reaction in Germany: "Awwwwwwww :)", reaction in the USA: the offender get`s sued... I am very happy to have been born and raised in Germany. A long time ago I lived four years in the USA, I had an amazing time, but I would not want to live there forever and was happy to come back home. An even longer time ago I lived one year in Brazil, best thing that ever happened to me. Having the privilege to live in different countries gives opportunities to learn and gain perspective that are otherwise not achievable.

[@supernova19805]

When I was a kid, I insisted on walking home by myself from Kindergarten, which was a good 1 1/2 miles away. I begged, until my parents let me. Unbeknownst to me, the first few times I was being followed by my much older sister, just to make sure I knew the way. We would also be sent to the store around the corner to buy things like milk or bread or whatever around the ages of 5 or 6 and count the change we got back.Taught myself how to swim, ride a bike and roller and ice skate. By the age of 10, my mother pulled me into the kitchen and taught me how to peel potatoes. By the age of 14, I cooked meals for the entire family, and not just a fried hamburger. I knew my way around the kitchen, cooking with a pressure cooker, cleaning pretty much everything. My brother and I were "Schluesselkinder". We came home from school, and we were on our own until my Mom got home from work between 4-5pm. We were completely self sufficient. I remember my younger brother's first week of school, which was just down the road. The Moms would congregate in the same area in front of the apartments (our neighborhood was full of kids), and wait for the kids to be let out of school. Everybody knew everybody's kids. All the kids had arrived, except my little brother. They would all mingle and talk with each other for a while but I could tell my mother was getting a little anxious. After about 15 minutes, my brother comes strolling down the sidewalk, very happy and announcing to the entire neighborhood that he got detention (nachsitzen), because he talked too much in class. Everybody fell out laughing, because he seemed so happy about it.

[@scottloutner5253]

I walked from k too

[@surlespasdondine]

I find it very normal to be able to cook meals by yourself by 14, even by 11-12. My kids have helped me since age 2 and my 7 year old can cook a few dishes. My kids could walk home alone easily because it's close but they love being picked up.;)

[@jenniferandrews6556]

me and my sister were semi "Schluesselkinder" but we were definitley alone at home from 2pm-4pm every day. I was raised the same...I knew how to cook early. My 12 year old cooks dinner almost every night under my supervision and guidance. It is such an important skill to have in life.

[@surlespasdondine]

@@mamafox6330 for sure!

[@supernova19805]

@@mamafox6330, at 10 years old it wasn't late by any stretch of the imagination, to peel potatoes for the entire family, as a regular chore. Thanks to my mother, later I was way ahead of everyone in cooking class in school, whereas some kids could barely boil water.

[@rolandscherer1574]

I remember when I was in a museum with my son, I explained everything to him even though he couldn't speak yet. And was that harmful? Did I overburden the poor child? - No, what children don't understand, they don't absorb, and what they understand, they remember. By the way, it didn't do him any harm, he has just finished his doctorate.

[@Freiya2011]

Yes, you actually TALKed to your child. Today many only get parked somewhere while mum or dad are on the phone endlessly!

[@silkwesir1444]

You did well and also, he probably did absorb something. That's how children learn language after all, by hearing adults speak.

[@swanpride]

Mmm...when I was a child and went to development test, they noted down that I was calling myself "I" already. The reason was simply that my mother never did the "Mommy does this and Mommy does that" thing while talking to me, she always used "I" and I understood and adapted the concept early on. Children understand more than most adults give them credit for.

[@toycarcrush]

So we do with both of our kids. We never use those "babylanguage". We've talked to them like young adults. Every time we interact with them, we explain what we're doing and why. Now they talking to us like young adults too. And they are 8 and 13 years old. Sometimes its hard, sometimes its easy! But I think our "job" as parents is to show them the "right" way of live. Going this way is in their own hands! Cause some day they had to go this way alone, when we are passed away.

[@whytfdoihavetochooseanaliasnow]

Oh my God. I COMPLETELY forgot that there were no separate bathrooms in kindergarten! It was just normal to me as a child and then in elementary school there were separate bathrooms and now I don't even think about it otherwise. How weird that we don't just keep it the way we were used to in kindergarten..

[@tellzvision]

Same! As Haley was saying it, I was like, omg shes right! We didnt have separate bathrooms in kindergarten. But it was so normal that I completely forgot about it 😅

[@t.a.yeah.]

Next step: seperated bathrooms at home. 🤪 In university we had at least one bathroom (? a few toilets) for everyone, i liked it, it was so nice and friendly there. xD I know, it sounds weird to say so, but that was my feeling there. Buuut I don't know if it would be a good idea for teenagers.. 😅

[@Freiya2011]

Then teach boys to SIT!

[@coralineschmidt1078]

omg same

[@Mira-gu6we]

No thanks, i dont want to see pee on the toilet seat

[@rrickarr]

During the German election (the one that elected Scholtz)--all three candidates had to visit a classroom of children where the kids asked the questions. All 3 candidates were awful--clueless how to talk to kids, but the kids (elementary school) were so articulate and so mature asking deep questions, articulate, mature---truly truly impressive kids.

[@jlpack62]

When I was a kid, even Kindergarten, I walked to school alone in the USA. It wasn't that terribly far, but it did require me to make turns onto different streets. I think that today, parents in the USA are way more protective, almost to the point of disabling development of their children.

[@barrysteven5964]

I wonder if parents feel happier about kids travelling to and from school alone than staying alone at home alone is due to the fact that when travelling there are always adults around who could help if they got into trouble. If they're alone at home they really are alone. On the point of being more open about the human body, I think it is a more European thing that we accept and get our kids used to the fact that nakedness is not necessarily sexual. I think the problem with being 'prudish' is that it sexualises things which are not sexual, makes kids over curious and worst of all means they eventually get their ideas of what bodies 'should' look like from the internet where the pictures/films are going to be posed by models or even porn actors. This must lead to them having a false idea of a normal body.

[@vrenak]

That is pretty much it, as a kid in Denmark this was and is pretty much the same as in Germany, and we were reminded that if there was any problems, we could just either call, or go to some of the elderly residents in the area and get their help, not that anything ever happened we needed them for, but as long as someone is in the area is plenty, you don't have to helicopter over kids 24/7.

[@franhunne8929]

@@vrenak Nothing really dramatic must happen, just to fall and have scraped your leg/knee/shin would have been a good reason to go to somebody and ask for a band aid.

[@horaspeher3368]

I used to volunteer in an after- school program in Germany for children between 6 and 10 years. They had a special action day once and there was an activity that involved hammers and nails. I remember an American volunteer being absolutely shocked and asking: "What happens if they hit themselves?" (The answer was "bandaids, gummy bears, and a hug") Sure, they might hurt themselves a little, but one, they will learn to be more careful after that and two, the chance of a little pain shouldn't keep anyone from trying new things.

[@anna-flora999]

Also, it probably helps the children to develop a sense of danger if someone ends up hurting themselves a little bit.

[@tramper42]

10:55 „children just listen to adults and don’t talk back“ - all human need repetition to learn, but children have the better memory. If you have a good explanation for „(not) doing something one way or the other“ chances are high, children remember that. Children love to learn. A rule with plausible explanation is better then just a rule, because then later everyone can CHECK, if that rule make sense. Drinking alcohol at a young age damages the growing/restructuring brain more, then after puberty. (NOT saying that too much alcohol is good) The rule „don’t drink ANY alcohol“ (while parents doing otherwise) without explanation, leaves room for children guessing instead of knowing. Same for all knowledge. Problem is that not all information is (or seems the be) for a child at any age, I know.

[@HayleyAlexis]

That is a very good explanation. I never thought of it like that BUT it is very obvious and correct!

[@tramper42]

@@HayleyAlexis Thank you - just my thoughts.

[@jessicaely2521]

I guess my grandma had Germans idea wear off on her. She was from Poland. It was an area that went back and forth between Russia and Germany. My grandma always always always told my aunt and mom why and she encountered her kids to ask why. My mom parented my brother and I the same way. It ticked off my dads dad because kids should just listen to adults and shut up.

[@tramper42]

Update example: children up to 4 or 5 can (*1) not differ, if a car on the road is moving or not. For them pedestrian traffic lights and crosswalks are essential, also If a car drivers KNOW that and STOP if a child wait near the road. (reaction time of 5 year old is double as high compared to adults, more details in *1) On traffic lights adults have the duty to act as a good role model and go only when pedestrian is green, when children are around. On the other hand, adults are adults and should judge the themself, if it is save to cross a road - if the pedestrian traffic light is red or green. (I waited in night as pedestrian red and asked myself, why I’m doing this, no noice, no people 😀) Some rules make only sense for certain times, situations, people, etc. Source (*1) www.swissmom.ch/kind/praktisches/geistige-entwicklung-und-sprache/gefahr-erkennen-lernen/

[@nicnic6679]

I think that the psyche of children is still very underestimated, and adults are still too attached to the idea that they are in charge because they are the grown-ups... and that is mostly not quite ok. There's a saying "give a man power and he'll show you who he really is"... so for a lot of adults it's a "power thing". I've found that it's easier (albeit more laborious) to explain something to a child than to categorically forbid it. If they understand WHY they're not allowed to do something, that's perfectly fine with them.

[@jenniferandrews6556]

THERE IT IS..... The law how you can leave kids alone at home in Germany....no one here believes me.... This is how I was raised. I was left alone at 7 for 2 hours every day. My grandmother would leave for work at 2pm and mom would come home from work at 4pm. When I came to Amerika and left my 7 year old alone at home for 30 min to drop my rent check in the rental office mailbox.....my neighbor saw me leave.....and INSTEAD of stopping me and saying...HEY this may not be a good idea here in Amerika ....she LET ME LEAVE.....waved goodbye to me and then called CPS when I left. Kids NEED to learn independence.... this is why younger generations in America are absolutely clueless how to do literally ANYTHING on their own. I get side eyes for letting my 12 and 7 year olds wait for the bus OUTSIDE OF MY APARTMENT alone. You know how Germans would say about Amerikan kids are raised to be "Weicheier" lol Kids in Amerika develop ZERO problem solving skills because they are never allowed to be faced with any type of problem......stupid.

[@myflyingkidney]

This sounds terrible, why did you go to america? And will you be able to go back soon? I feel like the US is one of the worst countries in the world for raising kids, I would never consider even visiting let alone living there, but I understand people have different reasons why they do it. I would just be terrified of those types of neighbours and the way they spy on you and the fact that country could take away the kids from you or that simple things like teaching kids independent thinking would be banned... really sad

[@jeromegilly]

Because in America children are abducted right out of the parents hands.. we would love to treat our children like others in Germany do but everyone is too scared. Also it’s illegal because in the past people exploited children for labor and children would die from the harsh conditions- so children are protected under law. And like the KZbin said we don’t have many options anymore for pedestrians let alone children.

[@myflyingkidney]

@@jeromegilly ok, let's be practical- did you know that you could move to europe from america, the visa will most likely be no problem, and many EU countries like spain, portugal, croatia, italy probably germany too offer passports and citizenship to descendants of their citizens. that means that if you caan find documents that any of your grandparents or even great grandparents left spain for example as spanish citizens, you can get spanish (EU) citizenship. if you don't have an option like that you can get a visa and stay for 3 months and then get residency and just live in europe. it is a real possibility for many americans and it is far less difficult than americans think. it is safe and civilized here and you can have health insurance and jobs and all sorts of benefits. come. I am serious.

[@jeromegilly]

@@myflyingkidney yes I did know- I’m researching schools in Germany. Let’s be realistic here. There are language and cultural barriers and there is crime everywhere. There are also expenses. Most of the people from America are living paycheck to paycheck and cannot afford to move. Most of the people who live in America love their country and do not want to live anywhere else. I won’t address you using the word civilized.. but anyhow what do I know I’m just an American..

[@myflyingkidney]

@@jeromegilly i come from a country where people are much poorer than people in the US and people move to other countries like germany or sweden for work, so that they can stop being poor. So it is possible, you can absolutely do it, I can also give you a channel that offers a lot of information specifically for moving to germany, from really small thing to really big things. Going on an exchange as a student is also a good option. And about being civilised, I believe the us used to be much more civilized some years ago, but unfortunately lately it seems like a completely wild place. Of course I can only tell you what we see from the outside, it may be wrong, but it looks like a country that's slowly drifting into chaos, very polarized and much more violent than it seemed before. And listening to american expats I have learned a lot about the american everyday life that you don't learn about otherwise, until someone does a direct comparison. I used to want to visit the US and it seemed like a very interesting country to see, but now I am more and more afraid of things as I slowly learn how the society actually works.... it just sounds ruthless. If something happens to you no one will help, except individual people if they happen to be good and wanted to help, but there are no governement systems in place to help people when they get sick, or loose money, or are pregnant... it is everyone for themselves and the strongest ones or the richest ones win. And that to me sounds kind of uncivilised... i am not saying it just to offend, it is my observation.

[@manfredfischer8944]

Der Grund dafür, dass Kinder eine Stunde Schulweg ohne Aufsicht gehen dürfen aber zuhause nicht eine Stunde unbeaufsichtigt bleiben sollen ist, dass sie im ersten Fall eine Aufgabe mit Verantwortung haben, im zweiten Fall haben sie keine AUFGABE, sollen aber trotzdem verantwortlich handeln. Das funktioniert nicht, oft nicht mal bei Erwachsenen. Da wird dann oft aus Langeweile Unsinn gemacht. Aufgaben wie: Hausaufgaben machen, Spiel was oder Schau fern sind hier nicht angebracht!

[@weinhainde2550]

vor Jahrzehnten war das allerdings kein Problem. Die These mit der Aufgabe klingt interessant, hält aber nur teilweise.

[@veigelchen8934]

Ich finde das ist eine sehr gute und logische Erklärung. Außerdem gehen die Kinder meist zu zweit oder zu dritt zur Schule und zu Hause wären sie mutterseelenallein. Eine leere Wohnung kann beängstigend sein.

[@Miristzuheiss]

Kenne so viele Schlüsselkinder, seit meiner Kindheit, bin 60, und immer noch

[@viomouse]

Also ich war nach der Schule ab der ersten Klasse durchaus mehrere Stunden alleine. Aber niemand redete davon, dass ich da alleine sein musste. Ich hatte Freunde zu Besuch, wir sind spielen gegangen... Wenn der Tornister zu Hause war, wusste meine Mutter ja, dass ich zwischendrin dagewesen bin. Das war in den späten 90ern.

[@sindb]

Ich bin fast 60, als Kind hatte ich immer einen Schlüssel und war hin und wieder allein in der Wohnung, was ich als Grundschüler nicht so schön fand. Ich bin froh, dass heute jedes Kind in den Kindergarten gehen kann - mein Sohn musste deshalb nie alleine zuhause sein.

[@jensgoerke3819]

My grandpa taught me how to use the Kursbuch while I was just starting primary school, so I was able to navigate the trains within the whole of Germany at about 8 years old with a map and the Kursbuch.

[@susannabonke8552]

Great. You became a train driver?

[@jensgoerke3819]

@@susannabonke8552 No, but I could get anywhere by train and work out each leg of the journey.

[@susannabonke8552]

@@jensgoerke3819 quite helpful..my parents were rather scared, I think it is because of some childhood experience in post-war-Germany. Travelling is associated with insecurity rather than fun.. unfortunately, we Kids didn't know which caused a Lot of confusion.

[@j.583]

Explaining to kids why or why not they should do something is one way to show them the world. Next level is to ask them, why THEY think, what they did or didn`t was good or bad. They should think by themselves how something works. They have to use their own brain. That´s the way I do it with my kids... They always hear me saying: denk doch mal nach!!!

[@franhunne8929]

Sometimes I wonder of Americans (not all) think it costs extra to use your brain.

[@dikl6949]

I think the part of critical thinking also has something to do with our past. Germans traditionally were very obedient to authority, no questions asked. We learned where blind obedience can lead to the hard way. "Es gibt keine dummen Fragen, nur dumme Antworten"

[@antonellalovato3813]

i'm italian, i teach 2,3/6 's, all things you are telling are part of our education: answers, explanations, responsability, creativity, ...in my school boys and girls use the same bathroom and there're not any problem. Sorry for my english

[@bh5037]

When I was a child of 7 or 8 it was normal to play on the roads and just step aside once a car came along ...( in the 1960th) in the beginning 1970 when going to play outside the only thing we got as rule was: you be home when it is getting dark ! nothing ever happened to one of us outside as everybody took care of all the others...and this was for boys and for girls ... and nothing could stop us from being outside here in Germany ...

[@lemmings6516]

When i was bored as a child in Germany my mother invented the game of tossing the dice at the train station and taking the next train that comes at this gate (we had a summer pass for free rides in the whole state from school) we've seen many interesting towns in my area haha I feel American parents try harder to give their kids fancy stuff while German parents entertain their kids mostly with odd things like these :D

[@LS-Moto]

I used to live in different countries. For first grade, I lived in Poland and the first few days, my mother would walk with me to make sure I know the way. From then on, I walked on my own. Second grade, we were back in Germany, and again, I walked. Along the way, other kids used to come together, and we walked together to and from school. After school, we would play in front of our apartment building. Back then Yu go oh was really popular. We would play that, or ride our bikes, play soccer, sometimes also fuck around, go get ice or candy from the local Kiosk. We knoew not to talk to strangers, and not take any bait from them. When we were leaving the front park where our parents couldn't see us, we would just say that, and that's it. In the evening, the mothers used to come up on the balcony and start calling us home. Sometimes we didn't give a shit, and then after a while the daddys came down. That's when shit hit the fan. Some daddys even had to chase their kids to bring them back home 😂. Later when I went to Gesamtschule (age 10), I would also have to take the tram to the city, change onto the subway, and go all the way across the city. By that time though, I knew my city really well. We knew all the ways, bus lines etc. Sometime back from school, I would take the bus which was significantly longer just to hang out with my friends. At home, I was usually by myself at the time, and there was food prepared. I just had to heat it up again (no microwave), do some chores, get something from the store etc. When I was 14 we moved to Canada for a few years. I would still just walk. School wasn't that far. I remember them calling me to the office telling me they got me a seat on a school bus. I was like the hell do I need a bus for, I just walk. Irony that I was even faster than the bus at times. I did get to ride these school buses on a field trip. I was 16 by then. So fucking cramped these friggin yellow pipes. Can't sit for shit in them 😂. The old soviet trams were more comfortable. A friend of mine would come to my place after school one time, and we would walk. It was like a 40 minute walk. We had to take two friggin breaks. Buf fun times haha Today though, this trend is not disappearing in Germany, but it definitely isn't what it used to be. Due to media, parents see pedos all over the place and miss teaching their kids some safe rules. Instead, they just take them everywhere. I feel sorry for those kids, because they never experience the freedom we had.

[@Lebensscherben]

"fuck around" okay.. that shocked me for a second.

[@susa5846]

You need to know there were some (for us Germans) really shocking kidnapping and killing cases in the last three decades. So yes, nowadays parents protect their children more. But not out of nothing. And for now many parents drive with SUVs to school, so the other parents are worried about it. So they, too, drive their children to school. More traffic, more accidents, more parents driving to school, more traffic... You see the circle. I'm a child of the 80ies, our bus station was only a few steps from home and the bus only came to go to school. It was a very little village, even people living a few villages apart won't know about it. It was like paradise to be a little child there. The only dangerous things around were fast cars or having an accident with some of the machines there. We played all day long with the neighbour kids. The older ones looked after the younger ones. For teenager it was a different story. But being there this young was like paradise. And yes, my mum was yelling after us to come home, too. Very common.

[@lazrseagull54]

That's a shame. The 5 years I lived in Germany were the best part of my childhood because of all the independent mobility. I've sadly never used the soviet Tatra trams but the old Düwag trams in West Germany from the 70s - 90s were also much nicer than the new ones.

[@Alias_Anybody]

The last part honestly sounds like a comedy scene, "southern girl discovers human anatomy". Not your fault of course.

[@andreas.8647]

My daughter went to a small Kita, 18 kids in total from the age of 1 to 6 years. They had 3 toilets for the kids with no doors (there was only a door to the bathroom) and whenever they needed help after doing their „grosses Geschäft“ they screemed „ich bin fertig und hab Kacka gemacht“. I will never forget that sentence and the way they said it 😂 The Kita was an Elterninitiative, so we had to watch the kids from time to time and also helping them with going to the bathroom...

[@jlpack62]

The right wing in America would totally freak out by the restroom behavior of preschoolers in Germany.

[@Lea-en9me]

When my brother and I were younger we always went to the bakery at the weekends. We loved it because we thought we were super independent. And my parents also loved it because they could sleep longer.🤪

[@daggicat8763]

I also went to the bakery on weekends when I was 10, grocery store during the week

[@letierisch2426]

Me too and the best thing was I got to keep some of the change😊 it wasn't a lot but to me it was

[@susannabonke8552]

An old Lady, friend of grandma bought me chocolate ( Sprengel ) whenever I met her. Was quite frequent..best days

[@susannabonke8552]

@@letierisch2426 and buy candy from that, or bubblegum.

[@noniLaus]

When I was in Kindergarten one day everyone of the kids in my "grade" got a massive plank of human shaped wood that we got to paint on our own for the whole day. The only restriction was that it had to look like a human, we basically had to "dress" it. After we were done, they were put on the outside of the kindergarten fence that faces the street. This is pretty much the only thing I remember about Kindergarten, but the painted planks are still attatched to that fence, and almost 20 years later I'm still proud of my work back then lmao. My painting skills sucked back then, but it was such a fun experience that it still makes me happy to think about today. Kids being allowed to be creative and create things out of their own imagination, may it be crafts, painting or food really has a massive positive impact.

[@morgezorge6387]

I have had a similar experience, we got to paint Fasching flags that the city put up all over the streets once a year at Fasching. 30 years later i can still see my flag hanging on fasching :)

[@noniLaus]

@@morgezorge6387 That‘s such a nice idea, almost an easter egg hunt! Where will my flag be this year? 🥺

[@mamabear3428]

I remember taking the train growing up in west Berlin. When the wall was still up and you took the U-Bahn from south to north or vice versa it would pass through east Berlin underground. The train would pass the old train stations in east berlin and not stop. You could see east German soldiers with their weapons guarding the stations while passing through.

[@roswithatausiani9283]

Loved the video. When I came to the US many years ago I was totally flabbergasted by the difference in what children supposedly could and could not do. Starting from a 7 yr old not going ANYWHERE by himself, to a 2 yr old being unclothed in a fenced in backyard at 100 F playing in the water (authorities were called). Using a knife to cut the food at dinner - oh no no no! Etc.etc.etc.

[@HayleyAlexis]

LOL - the knife at dinner was also a shocker for me ;)

[@janpracht6662]

@@HayleyAlexis The cook-week we had in class 3, too. We went to the market place with our teacher, bought ingredients and prepared our meals together in our class room. So children learn to get independent and to get along alone if possible. One of the coolest projects in my school-time, we had a lot of fun and learned a lot.

[@hammerradiology1470]

@@HayleyAlexis my 8 year old daughter wants a pocket knife 😂

[@goldflo91]

American children are overprotected, and parents are supposed to look after them as a helicopter 😱

[@susannabonke8552]

@@goldflo91 the perception that the world is not that dangerous creates a healthy base. You SENSE when to be anxious because there IS something to fear about.

[@imrehundertwasser7094]

Germany is # 3 in transparency rankings? The rest of the world must really be a cesspool of opaqueness for Germany to achieve such a ranking.

[@HayleyAlexis]

LMAO... I think it has more to do with the society as a whole and not necessarily government... I think German people are very transparent.

[@lemmings6516]

german parents are just funny thats why :D my mum used to "take us on adventures" 1. we lead the way to the bus stop, we look at different bus stops 2. we learn to read the plan, she teaches us which column is for what, we make up scenarios where people might go and she lets us figure out how they will get there. 3. she lets us drive bus, first ride: she shows us how to buy a ticket from the driver, ect second ride: we buy the ticket, ect 4. she lets us ride alone and picks us up in the next town no lie, we spent whole days doing that when i was little lol its free entertainment and we kids loooved it :D next week: the adventures of washing clothes... i tell you german parents are crazy :D

[@raidri_conchobair]

I can answer why having someone at home is different. When children are on their way home, they are in the process of doing something and focussing on that and take responsibility for what they are doing but as soon as they arrive home it is supposed to be a safe haven where they can also rely on someone else. By the time they come home they shall know that they enter an environment where they are taken care of again. It's more about the place and not that one hour more. At least that's what I think.

[@idaloup6721]

I concur

[@raidri_conchobair]

@@idaloup6721 :)

[@malcharion4379]

My son and my older daughter are waking up alone in the morning and getting ready for school since they are six years old. They cut their bread by themself and make breakfast for school and drive from one village to the next village all alone. My wife still sleeps with our youngest daughter at this time. I am earlier at work. It's normal.

[@wtsalive8210]

A naked body is such so normal. Yeah there are differences but therefore we are female and male. Na und??? We all are humans!!! And these basics are the reason, why we are so upfront to nudity. Thinking especially at FKK-places(Englischer Garten or beaches at the ocean…) and mixed sauna, where you go in completely naked. Yes, and there is NO erotic, it’s just a body! Explaining is the key of UNDERSTANDING, why you shouldn’t do that or should do this. Only if you know the reason, you have the choice to do the right things! To follow an advice only, you’ll never know the consequences of your action!

[@idaloup6721]

Insightful 👍

[@BierzeItboxer]

The "why?" is one of the most important things in our whole life...

[@vklaus8702]

Adults often say stupid things that make no sense when it comes to the point where they have to explain the WHY. Especially when it comes to „it‘s dangerous“ „you are not able to do this“ „you are too young“ „you can’t eat this“ etc. In most cases adults would have to say „I don‘t want you to, because I just don‘t like it“

[@AjnosMitSukarm]

An interesting topic. ;-) My kids started buying Brötchen as young as 4 and they loved being more independent. I remember that it started with them wanting to ride the bike alone around the block. I strongly supported them doing so. They only did this because they made these trips before with me. They were afraid of staying alone at home still - needed to know I was at home to feel safe.

[@thisstuffisminenotyours]

Watching American shows has always been mind-boggling to me cause kids including teenagers there are so dependent. Starting from kindergarten, if I didn't set an alarm clock or didn't hear it in the morning, I would have a problem, no being woken up by anybody. If I didn't prepare food I'd have nothing to eat. If I didn't clean the house at least on the weekends and do my chores I'd be in trouble (since I lived there too and made everything dirty). If you wanted something you'd have to work for it or at least help, e.g. with cooking, baking, taking care of animals. I'd always be home alone because my mother had to work and live her life (and I'm a supporter of parents not slaving away for their children which in the end doesn't do them any good but rather remain their own person in addition to being a parent) most kids should be perfectly capable of occupying themselves for a few hours. Most of the time I played outside with other kids anyways, and I had my own keys. Walking to kindergarten was a given. A little ridiculous though was that apparently by law we were not allowed to walk alone so even though we arrived at kindergarten on our own we had to be picked up in the afternoon. And at school we needed our parents' written permission to go home on our own even if we had already walked to school alone in the morning.

[@colibri1]

Yeah, we are taught in the US that it's a challenge to our authority as adults if children ask us for an explanation of our commands. We're even taught that kids asking why is part of a phase they go through where they ask why all the time and so to just ignore it. "Because I said so," is what kids hear from us and what we all adapt to ourselves, paving the way for a life of irrational authoritarianism and easily crossed egos in all of us. It really is better to give kids (and adults) explanations instead of just accepting our pronouncements.

[@lumina9995]

When my daughter was small, I went to a sort of training "how do you tell your kid what not to do so they'll listen". We were told to talk of our own feelings like "if you put your finger in the socket, I'm afraid you'll hurt yourself", that they could relate to that, i.e. my feelings, as opposed to "you'll hurt yourself" which was too abstract.

[@t.a.yeah.]

To me that sounds a liiitlebit manipulating.. 😅 (But depents on how exactly someone practicates it, of course.)

[@lumina9995]

@@t.a.yeah. Not manipulative at all. You describe your own feelings bc a child can't imagine what's the bad thing that will happen If they do XYZ. It's for the protection of the child.

[@toycarcrush]

Well the only thing you CAN do is, let it go! I'm an electrician and I have to show my boys (9 volts and 12 volts) that it very hurts if the get in contact with the powerline! Or take the hand and put it OVER a hot oven and tell them: "Hot!!!!" In my case they won't do this anymore. Warning!!! This is not a general recept for all kids!!! All kids are individual! And they act ecxatly like individuals! Individuatly! ;-)

[@butenbremer1965]

Liebste Hayley, Deine Positivität ist unschlagbar! Wenn man schlechte Laune hat, muss man nur ein Video von Dir schauen - und schon kehrt das Lächeln zurück!!!!!!!!!

[@niagaranovalis3408]

Zumindest für dem Moment lol

[@jewi3661]

Let me say something: The time when I went to school alone ...and buy my 'breakfast' or so by my self accompanied by my friends/classmates was the the best time of my youth ! Today, as an adult, I remember and can say (with a smile) that it was a great time. You have learned so much for life. And THAT benefited us later !

[@robertzander9723]

Kid's are little people that needs to be treaten in a fair way. Kid's understand things a lot better than a lot of adults might believe, they just need someone to play with no matter how someone looks like. Wer, wie, was, wieso weshalb, warum???, are word's from the theme of German version from the Sesame Street and that explains a lot. The way to raise the kid's change in the late sixties and seventies more and more, for a very long time dealing with and bringing up children was very hard and authoritarian in Germany. It was a long fight that kids have human rights, too. In march 1992 Germany signed the contract of the UN. When I went to elementary school, my parents trained my way to school the first week and then i did it on my own and with everything they allowed me to do on my own, my self-confidence became stronger and stronger. Going to the bakery, the butcher, the market and later i went by bus to the working place of my mom or with a bicycle to my grandparents. The coolest thing was to go to our garden in Brandenburg in the summer with my bicycle and in spring and autumn with different buses. I was so proud.

[@jessicaely2521]

Life was different and still is different in Germany. I was capable of doing those things until I was 9. Kids were being kidnapped left and right. The going out to the store and bus ended in 1993. Our nextdoor neighbors kid was kidnapped walking home from school. 6 months later they found the kid chopped up into little pieces in the murders compost pile. Nowadays in some areas kids have to worry about playing in their own backyard alone. It was 3 years ago that a child was kidnapped out of his backyard. This was a happy story though. The child was found alive.

[@jennyh4025]

@@jessicaely2521 you seem to live in a f***ed up society/community, when something like that is „normal“.

[@DonDadda45]

@@jessicaely2521 wtf where do you live?

[@silmuffin86]

We've lived in Germany for 3 years (we've just had to move away), and my kids went to krippe (my 2yo) and kita (my now 6yo). I've LOVED our schools so much, they foster independence, social skills, responsibility and self esteem, which at that age is all that matters, there's time later on for academics! The first time my then 3yo went to a field trip with her kita, taking a train to downtown Frankfurt, I was so nervous, but all those experiences were so amazing. Covid ruined some of that, and I also wish we could still be in Germany and in those schools. In the US they'll call CPS on you if your kids are riding their scooter alone in their front yard :/

[@Sonnenanbeterin1991]

May i ask why it is like that? Weapons? Dong wanna stereotypical know but iam so unsure

[@silmuffin86]

@@Sonnenanbeterin1991 I honestly have no idea... I am actually originally from Italy, I'd have to ask my husband, he's the American one

[@nickie2011]

Germans consider themselves as the "master race", still nowadays... this is not sth that comes exclusively from the Nazis... this notion existed already before in Germany... so they'll consider themselves with a right for everything while the "others" they are not as good as them ...

[@Sonnenanbeterin1991]

@@nickie2011 have you ever lived in Germany? Because you are totaly wrong.

[@barbarapeck5804]

It is a lot of work but that is what parenting is all about!

[@samu6874]

Most children cannot really navigate the Transport System, but they are well prepared for their specific journey. It works. And sending them to the store to bye sth helps them to speak with strangers. A skill they have to use if they get lost, hurt or scared. Everything you experienced is building up their confidence. Because they try, fail, try again, get hurt, fail again and take all the consequences, ask for help and in the end get it right. And that sense of feeling able to achieve, improvise makes them so proud and happy. For me as an educator there is nothing more precious than being around to experience this moments. It shows me, that we/I did a good Job in giving the Kids the Support and space he/she needed.

[@HayleyAlexis]

Oh my. This comment is very true. Yeah I get really happy when I see a direct impact from something that I made a kid do or at least advised them to do :) Kids are really amazing. I do have to say though that working with children was very exhausting for me... but other than that I have no direct complaints like I have had with other jobs not related to the childcare field

[@samu6874]

@@HayleyAlexis from my working experience and my own Kids (2and 8) I know what you mean with the exhausting Part. But I think for the Most Part its a Problem of time and sourounding. Children do not fit an adults speed of life. But we have to be on schedule. Next Thing is that we want certain things from Our home/daycare... the Kids need sth completly different. So you have to supervise, redirect, tell them no quite often. The more we talk the less they play and be happy and calm. They get upset, bored, throw tantrums. Whst I find very stressful working at school and daycare: too much children for one adult. Its difficult to realy connect and find out what everyone needs to fit in. And even if you know thst, there is so much to Do thst you cannot give that sometimes.

[@alpenhuhn1]

I traveled my city at the age of 6. With my son I went the first day to school, then he had to go by himself. Wit 20 Pfennig and the Phonenumber in his pocket ( no Handys in the 80th).

[@JIKitty]

Kids have a lot less freedom than adults. They can't decide what they get to eat. They can't decide wether they want to come along to church or to a family gathering. They can't decide where they live or what kindergarden or school they go to. That's why it's so important to give them as much freedom as possible in their free time. I really craved all the freedom I could get as a child. My favorite family vacation was our trip to italy. Not because of the beach or Venice, but because it was the vacation were my brother and I were the most free. We resided in a kind of camping site / "vacation village". Most of the time my brother and I ran around together and did what we wanted, used the different pools a lot. Our parents didn't follow us, they trusted us. On that vacation I also started to write a childrens book and drew pictures for it. It was inspired by the lizards that were everywhere. :)

[@martinjunghofer3391]

Interesting video and thank you for your openness! For me, the primary content of this video is how Americans treat their children. Your body language when describing "normal (German)" adult-child interactions raises the question: what on earth do adults in the USA do with their children? And the intensity of your reactions raises the suspicion that you are keeping your children in prison for 18 years and then throwing them out without having really had any experiences of their own: who am I, what and how is the world around me and how do I interact with this world! Is it really like that?

[@tellzvision]

That is exactly what it is! I feel so lucky having been raised in germany before I moved to the US and I've seen plenty of households that put the tv on for the kids to be occupied. I have not seen many parents that actually do things with their kids like my grandparents, for example, did. Just today, I went mushroom hunting at the deer park that my grandpa used to take me too. The childhood memories are absolutely priceless and its definitely a tradition that I'm going to continue should I ever have kids 💯

[@konrad1428]

German here, when I was 6 I went to get bread and rolls on saturdays from a bakery about 200m down the street crossing one junction. At 7 in the morning. I actually liked it and my dad probably got a quarter hour more sleep.

[@TheCherieExperience]

super interesting video, would love to hear more experiences like that!

[@oliverdecker249]

i love your videos,you can describe situations so vivid and colored,it is very entertaining,even your ads are funny

[@Schachpferd]

Making food yourself is also a good instrument to teach kids healthy eating, and for many kids it is a opportunity to get to know foods and how to prepare them, esp. vegetables or fruit. Kindergarten also teach basic health (hygiene, brushing teeth etc.), knowledge about ecosystems and nature, and push coordination and muscle growth by playful sports.

[@jessicaely2521]

Sounds like some US preschool nowadays. My 4 year old nephew already knows how to cut apples, pears, cucumbers, squash, and some other stuff. I remember learning this stuff 32 years ago.

[@HayleyAlexis]

I would have to disagree Jessica... That would not align with the growing shortage of teachers and childcare workers we have in the USA... Even if kids were allowed to cut their own apples- is it really safe in that environment (where it can be 20+ kids per 1 adult)? Unless you are in an area where childcare is not an issue or are sending kids to a private/church daycare in the USA you probably will not have the luxury of your kid "making their own food"

[@suzannes5888]

At 7, I walked a mile plus each way every morning to my swim team practice and had my first job at 9 years old delivering early morning newspapers via bike on my own to 150 houses before sunsrise - but I'm from the US.

[@keenmate9719]

In Czech republic it really depends on people a kid has around. There are parents that do everything for their kids but there are also those that don't. It was common to force children to little works like dishwashing or helping with ironing or washing clothes but with incresing general social level of czech families this somehow transitioned to snowflaking. In small villiages, though, there is still this need for kids to learn how to take care of themself and this mean not only how to take do chores and errands but mainly how to find your place in a sociaty, to find friends, love, sex and survive wild parties and alcohol.

[@KJ-md2wj]

American mothers are helicopter parents full of fear of not meeting the standards published by some magazine or emotionless doctor. The kid's independence is anathema to these control freaks. That's the reason Ami teenagers are into drugs and alcohol to free themselves of this web of control and fear that ends in neurosis.

[@johnraggett7147]

I am English, at home in Leipzig. I like living in a city where it is safe for 7 year old children to go to school on the tram on their own or with their friends.

[@terzida5329]

Die gleiche Toilette benutzen, ist auch in Deutschland im hohen alter normal, wo bei es hier eine Einschränkung gibt, die Nutzung des Herren WC. Thema Abenteuer/Bauspielplätze, es gibt Bauspielplätze auf den die Kinder Schmieden können, unter Anleitung. Das Einstiegsalter ist, das ab wann man auf dem Bauspielplatz gehen darf. etwa 5,5 Jahre.

[@udomueller8627]

I so agree with you. The majrity of German children are quite polite and smart. When I took my spouse the first time to Germany and he met my old schoolfriend from elementry and high school. He was just in disbelieve how polite those kids were. There was so screaming and yelling around. They've chosen to sit with the adults and wanted to ask us all kind of questions about the USA. Also trying to show us their little English they knew. Generally in germany, the children we saw no matetr how you or older. All of them nicely dressed. Especially young kids with their parents. No screaming and running around out of control in stores. We went to supermarkets. Nothing you see here quite often. We stayed for 3 weeks. There was plenty of time to observe all this. And after all I was born and raised in Germany. Not once have we seen any kid throwing a tantrum or screaming. Neither in a bus or subway. Small kis taking the public transportation is a given there. Children there are taught to be very independent very early. it was done with me and my siblings. The same with the friends I had.

[@sswan9689]

Kids living in big cities growing up with a subway system also know how to navigate. I have seen it when I lived in NYC. Its mind boggling- but that is their life 🤷🏽‍♀️😁

[@miriamreiss]

Why I wanted my son to be an independent kid.....He was maybe three or four years old when my wife told me everyday:"Today he slept until ten in the morning....he slept till 9:30 today...", and that everyday from Monday to Friday. But, at Saturdays, when I was at home in the morning....at six o`clock he was beside my bed, shaking me out of the sweetest dreams and told me he was hungry. On one of these mornings I took him to the kitchen, asked him if he knew where the bread was, and the butter....and the knives... he said yes. I told him, make yourself a bread, it don´t matter what happnes to the kitchen, make yourself a bread. He did it the next weekend....and the kitchen? Well, I had a feeling that a group of Marines went through my kitchen to battle down a bunch of Talibans....but hey, I was able to sleep in....He is still a great Kid, even at 32. Love him.

[@cheetah8618]

I always went into the kitchen and made pancakes when I was 5 or 6 and my parents were still asleep. The first times it was terrible( my parents told me that a few months ago) but soon it was much better and I still make amazing pancakes now 😂😂

[@lindasilver9397]

I found your channel today and so far I watched quite a few of your videos. Absolutely love the way you explain things. I'm German my husband is American, we also live in Bavaria. 💙

[@gregormayr5181]

i just can talk about how awsm my childcare was, now i'm 32 so not a child any more, but i basically learnt all my basic cooking skills here in germany in the public system :D

[@CathyTalksMiami]

Hi Haylay! Greetings from Miami! I love your videos & have been watching them since my daughter moved to Germany 3 years ago. Keep up the excellent work!

[@HayleyAlexis]

Oh!!! I am missing Miami right about now :( Thank you so much for stopping by and sticking around so long!!

[@PalmyraSchwarz]

Hi Hayley, I found it very interesting what differences in upbringing you noticed during your time as a kindergarten teacher. I have to honestly say that I would not have expected these differences at all.

[@jannekedevries7820]

Loved that video!

[@andreasrehn7454]

haha.. I was sent to a backery shop with a written list when I was 2... I handed over the list n money and received the bread and eggs or whatever and returned..

[@marca.4580]

This was a good one! 👍

[@heiko2460]

@Haley - Thank you for spotting the differences between the US and Germany and explaining German perspective to other cultures. Well done.

[@THMILLER]

It is true, my children use the trains and buses all the time here in Germany. But teaching from a young age is the key and answering any and all questions they may have.🙂

[@folkehoffmann1198]

When I was like 5 years old me and my best friend had sleepovers all the time. And we would also walk like a kilometer into the center of our village to get rolls for breakfast. Starting a few years later she and her family would sometimes take care of those two cute little dogs and the two of us would take them on long walks through the forest. I remember we had a sleepover once and took them out in the dark for like 20-30 minutes (but not through the forest). When I was in 4th grade we moved to another city like 8 kilometers away. I had to change schools after 4th grade anyways so my parents let me finish 4th grade at my school. So now I would usually go to the subway station together with my father in the morning as his train left ten minutes before mine. My parents always told me to get into the first carriage so that I could contact the conductor (who had his cabin at the front of the first carriage) in case anything ever happened like someone trying to kidnap me or whatever. The only time I felt like I needed to talk to the conductor was once when the ticket machine would not take my money so I couldnt get a ticket. It was the end of the line so I told him when he entered the carriage. When I was probably like eleven or twelve years old I would always ride my bike like everywhere: To school, to the center of our little city, to my piano lessons, to my recorder lessons etc. And I would usually take the bus to get to my riding stable at the other end of our town (which was like 7 kilometers away). So I grew up getting to places on my own. And then I was an exchange student in the U.S. and when I had to go somewhere by myself my host sister would tell me to frequently take a look behind to make sure nobody was following me. I feel like that is something you would say to a 5 or 6 year old in the area I grew up (and at the time I grew up) in but not to a 16 or 17 year old.

[@RustyDust101]

Explaining something to kids, yes, agreed, that is a lot of work. In the beginning. The more you do it, the more your kids understand about their surroundings and come to reasonable conclusions themselves, based on the structured explanations they have recieved. In many cases these conclusions will reduce your work load for the future if the conclusions truely are reasonable. While some of them can still be false conclusions, they are still conclusions based on their own thinking; not on rote learning. Rote learning requires no thinking; it simply requires acceptance of rules for no other reason than authority stating it as a rule that has to be followed, no matter if such a rule is reasonable or not.

[@mchobbit2951]

You should see a French preschool. Not only do they SHARE restrooms, the entire class goes to the bathroom together at the same time.

[@jojogrunesalatgurke6904]

that was very interesting for me :D I would add, that in schools and places for adults, like sport clubs, there are separate toilettes.. some people fight for more mixed toilettes, but the most people in Germany dont want that. for kids after kindergarden it becomes a tabu too. but in the kindergarden its normal yes. and its normal being naked for very young kids too. I would say the most germans have photo-books with pics of themself playing naked in there garden as kids... in Germany there are alot of explaining books for kids too.. my little brother had a very funny one, where in the story the children explain to the parents, how it works (because the adults are a littlebit ashaimed and dont know, how to do it) and there was a little "pedagogy-wave" I would say.. so there are alot of children books and stories that shows the kids as the heroes - for example "Emil und die Detektive" by Erich Kästner (while WW2 the nazis had forbidden his books), its a very common Book, that alot of children had to read at school and there came alot of new books that are alittle bit like this.. the children tv show "pfefferkörner" reminds to that story-genre too.

[@wora1111]

If you discuss things with your child there i a very real risk of "losing that discussion". There is this "cut-off-date" when deciding at what time a child should start school in Germany. Our daughter was almost half a year on the wrong side of that date. We explained that to her. She told us she wanted to go, because when her friends from Kindergarten could go to school, so would she. We talked to the caretakers at the kindergarten. They agreed with the general rule - except in her case. We talked with the woman that would have been her future teacher. No support (for us) either. Next we went to a doctor who told us even before seeing our daughter that he was opposed to send children to school early. After he came back "Well, in her case ..." we gave up. Oh, we never had reason to regret following her wish ...

[@Gnin1000]

Hello, I don't know how good your German language skills are, but after all your videos on YT, I can only recommend a few songs by Reinhard Mey. He has been one of the most important but also neglected songwriters and singers in Germany for over 40 years. You will find a suitable song or lyrics for almost every topic of your videos. This man often speaks to me from the soul and on this subject a song like "My apple tree (Mein Apfelbäumchen)", "You're a giant, Max (Du bist ein Riese, Max)", "Old child (Altes Kind)", "Little Fox (Füchschen)" or "The fist in my father's hand (Die Faust in meines Vaters Hand)" would be appropriate. There are so many more. He always hit a nerve, at least for me, in his lyrics, in which I found or recognized myself. He is very critical, also towards politics or the zeitgeist/mainstream. Our problem is that as adults, we transfer our thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes to our children. Or in the words of Reinhard Mey: "Children are born as giants, But with every day that wakes up If a piece of their strength is lost, Let's do something that makes them smaller. Children move mountains for so long Until the vicious cycle begins Until they grow up midgets like us Finally as small as we big ones are!" "Kinder werden als Riesen geboren, Doch mit jedem Tag, der dann erwacht, Geht ein Stück von ihrer Kraft verloren, Tun wir etwas, das sie kleiner macht. Kinder versetzen so lange Berge, Bis der Teufelskreis beginnt, Bis sie wie wir erwachsne Zwerge Endlich so klein wie wir Großen sind!" But other lyrics came to mind while watching your videos. Referring to the USA, for example "The Brother (Der Bruder)" or "Everything OK in Guantanamo Bay (Alles O.K: in Guantanamo Bay)".

[@vbvideo1669]

Great Video! :) Thanks, Hayley! ^.^

[@HayleyAlexis]

Thanks for watching!

[@johnwilson3819]

Thank you. Love your voice ❤ you are the best. This is tough. I am working on this right now. Love you baby

[@franz1102]

keep going, you are great

[@marcopolitical7571]

Explaining the why and the why not may take some work. But you will end up with a civilization where people are much more pleasant to each other .

[@cellevangiel5973]

Hayley, you talked about children being alone in the house or in the public transport. At home they are alone. In a bus there are the other passengers and if anything would go wrong they will help or whatever needed. In the US I think they will look the other way. I picked up and comforted a lost child in a supermarket more then once. If a child is in trouble you don't walk away. And I love your comments. And Americans seem to think the rest of the world is an exception, no they are the exception.

[@LS-Moto]

"Walking down the elevator" Hayley 2021

[@HayleyAlexis]

0___0 escalator escalator *not elevator* I am so cringe

[@ivanamicimici]

@@HayleyAlexis you are hilarious,I bet you love comedy ❤

[@dekai7992]

For anyone interested in the text displayed at 5:45 (those are guidelines put out by the “Bundeskonferenz für Erziehungsberatung”, the federal child guidance office), here’s the English translation: Recommendation to parents: Until the age of 3, a child should always be supervised and never be home alone. From the age of 4, a child can be alone for 15 to 30 minutes. However, this only applies if the child is playing in his or her own home or in another safe area with the parents being nearby. From the age of 7, up to two hours alone at home are acceptable.

[@kristinwilson8022]

Yep. I remember I looked it up once for my 6 year old so I was on the "legal side" ... (and also Grandma lived downstairs) I wanted to go out across the street to a fleamarket with my 1 year old but the older one didn't wanted to go at all and told me she could stay by herself... she promised she would just keep on watching TV and keep on drawing and doing nothing bad 🤣. Got her some cookies and sth. to drink so she wouldn'tstarve in the time I was gone. She was so proud that I trusted her to stay by herself 🥰 After a while I got more comfortable leaving her once in a while and she never disappointed me.

[@mattesrocket]

I see everywhere young kids going to school without the parents. But it's not completely without risks. When I went to school as a 6 years old by bus which was even going from one town (where we lived) to a different town 7 km away (where the school was... in the morning I went with my older sister but at noon alone back home, but it was not a totally public bus, but it started it's route at our school and then turned to be a public bus at the normal route). One day there was so much snow, that no bus could come to our school at the high hill ...and general chaos. Then older kids started to walk into town to find there the public bus route (but there were many) and I decided to go with these kids but after a while got more and more scarred walking into the "big" town with older kids I didn't know too well and where I have never walked before (like half an hour long)... I don't know how this ended, somehow someone sorted everything out, maybe some parents appeared or I went just with an other kid, I don't know, I just know, that I felt very helpless and overwhelmed. After that incident there was a big discussion at school with some enraged parents and teachers... (there hadn't been mobile phones yet to get in touch easily with the parents), however everything ended well and I learned, if not sure, better stay where you are.

[@alexanderroth1427]

For Americans..a American women wrote a really good Book its called "Achtung Baby,,the German way of Raising Kids" wich explains all the things from Teaching children to use knifes and cut onions to make there own Campfire and why it is a godd thing to be less "helicopter" as a parent.

[@twinmama42]

That lady is Sarah Zaske.

[@christiankastorf1427]

You have to be eight years old in Germany to do your own business, and that means buying an icecream from a kiosk or stall and things like that. But in real life it is generally accepted if even younger children deal with a small amount of money.

[@franhunne8929]

Yes, yes it is - as long as the parents are consenting (with a handwritten Einkaufsliste - shopping list consent of the parents could be assumed - unless the shopping was in a very child-like handwriting).

[@michaelgrabner8977]

Well according to "they let them travelling an hour to school but not for an hour at home" ...because it is a difference... While travelling they are "engaged".."engaged with travelling"..."engaged with going from point A to B" At home they are not...home is their "owned setting feeling totally unleashed" and without "a watchdog" there they might have then stupid maybe even harmful ideas...at least to a certain age till they have the needed responsibilities for leting them at home alone learned..

[@gerdforster883]

Also, on the bus there are way fewer expensive things they could break. ;)

[@alicemilne1444]

@@gerdforster883 Not only that, but there are adults - the driver and passengers - who can generally give a child the impression of being supervised even if they're not paying attention to the children the whole time.

[@Lunch2391]

Also at home there are dangerous things like stoves and other stuff that can do real harm if used wrong or unattended while a little kid gets distracted

[@RustyDust101]

@@alicemilne1444 Exactly this. Basically most adults will subconsciously look out after children on their way to school. Not because they are related; just because everybody does it as a community service. Rarely will children be completely unseen by adults.

[@DemTacs]

When I was 14, we visited a friend of my mom in southfrance and I was responsible for getting the bread for breakfast. With no prior language-lessons, I aced it within the second day of arrival. Granted, I already spoke 3 languages with english freshly learned.

[@HayleyAlexis]

........ Are we doing a subtle brag here??? lol no but in all honesty- I would have been happy at 14 to be able to even speak proper English at the front desk at any hotel in Florida...

[@DemTacs]

@@HayleyAlexis ^^ Yes, a oui bit. ;P

[@HayleyAlexis]

*chuckles*

[@toivoa119]

Not soooo subtle 🤪 But seriously, I bet you were proud. And that’s a good feeling of accomplishment

[@DemTacs]

@@toivoa119 You're right. As a Child Who was bullied and Most of the time got told that I am worthless and won't accomplish anything. You bet a rabbit's fluffy tail, I was hella proud. 😊

[@picobello99]

My primary school (age 4-12) only had one changing room for sports class so boys and girls had to share it. I don't remember it ever being a problem.

[@HayleyAlexis]

Oh yes... That too... The kindergartens I worked at took their kids to separate sport complexes and they only had one main changing area for all kids....

[@Sonnenanbeterin1991]

Not older kids maby kindergarden

[@Lunch2391]

we believe to be an independent and responsible adult you have to learn it at a young age depending on the development of child you give them task as a family try to have the kids be a part of decisions like meals, weekend activities and other plans I encourage them to have their own opinions and make choices for themselves they learn more then independence, they learn to be confident and that their opinion matters, their self worth also they learn to make mistakes and that it is okay to make them and try again later

[@Ejonie]

My mom was Kindergartenteacher (erzieherin) in our house was the german word "man" forbidden. For example, when someone said: "Man macht das nicht" (you don´t do that) my mother always asked: "who is "man" and why is he not allowed to do it?"

[@AmericasGotGermans]

Like that! :-) Will remember that and tell my kids the same next time.

[@marving.8868]

We baked bread in kindergarten and cooked from time to time it was kinda nice.

[@JustGrowingUp84]

Good morning Hayley! One thing I can tell for sure about German kids compared to other kids, is that no matter how kind other kids are, German kids are kinder.

[@TimeturnerJ]

Ba-dum-tsss 🥁

[@HayleyAlexis]

I wonder who made this joke- it must have been an English speaker :p

[@JustGrowingUp84]

@@HayleyAlexis Probably, but it's so old, who knows anymore.

[@HayleyAlexis]

I find it to be hilarious but I wonder who of my family/friends in the USA would get the joke :p

[@wora1111]

@@HayleyAlexis That is one of the things I love about the comment section of American Expats in Germany: Lots of people that love to play with words without necessarily sticking to just one language. And one can be certain to be understood as well.

[@nikaswords17]

I find it interesting that you were surprised over the shared bathroom in kindergarten…I mean, what’s supposed to happen? They are just tiny humans who don’t have any concept of sexuality. Many of us also have siblings of the opposite sex and when you’re kids, you share everything with your siblings - beds on holiday, bathtubs, sometimes even the own room. Since this gender thing doesn’t effect life at home, I think young kids wouldn’t understand why it’s so different in kindergarten/day care 🤷🏼‍♀️😅 but interesting topic..

[@jeffreysahaida1111]

Years ago I was probably 1st grade or 7. WE were at a fest and I had go pee. I was at the age where I still needed a parent with me. My mom decided to take me in the ladies room. It was a rural toilet with about 10 or 12 stalls, but it was one big open room. Me being a boy with all those girls and women, I just didn't sit there quiet. I was a million questions, like I can stand a pee, why is everyone sitting? Just saying this is because kids might not know body sex, but they can ask some questions, adults might be embarrassed.

[@silmuffin86]

@@jeffreysahaida1111 nudity is so normal in Germany and northern Europe that boys know all of that already, no need for those questions in public

[@jeffreysahaida1111]

@@silmuffin86 ya I did know that. When I visited the beaches on the North and Baltic Seas, I noticed the young kids with no swim suits on. In the USA cops would arrest the parents for that.

[@avusborealishomunculus2853]

Danke!

[@HayleyAlexis]

Danke danke :)

[@yaelreip2611]

It is absolutely important to explain things to kids especially when you say no. They are more accepting of things if you explain things to them. I know what I am talking, I have 2 kids. They are also less likely to pitch a fit. They can comprehend more then some people think. I am a German mom explaining things to my kids was always important to me.

[@niagaranovalis3408]

Yes. Example : Trump is what happens if parents never say No

[@verenamichel2447]

Even my 11 months old has responsibilities- he is in charge of making sure we don't oversleep!