5 Things I've Learned in 5 Years of Marriage - Ep. 148

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[@sandpiper1957]

My wife and I celebrated 25 years of marriage last June. One thing I can add to your list Rachel in a marriage is to be flexible, tolerant, and patient with each other. Be open to doing things with each other that you might not necessarily like but he does and vice versa.

[@dawnvujevic1755]

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

[@EmilyOlson]

Great advice! Honestly, having a baby only enhances the love that you will feel. There are moments of trying to figure out how the baby should get to sleep, and you figure it out together. You watch him rock your baby to sleep, help each other get more sleep when needed, and he'll make you coffee when you're extra tired from nursing the baby through a growth spurt in the middle of the night, but the rewards are so amazing. Our little girl, Afton, is honestly the best thing that has happened to us. You will hear a lot of warnings about "life after baby" similarly to how you heard warnings of "Life after marriage", but its all how you look at life. If you look at marriage as a gift from God, than it will feel like a gift. If you remember that children are a gift from God, than they will feel like a gift as well. Hoping that your pregnancy is going well! The only hard month is month 9!

[@MarshmallowHumor]

I like the last statement of serving the other person. Very important point to ingrain in your head.

[@HannahNaegele]

During our marriage instruction course while we were engaged our priest told us that if we ever had marital problems, even small ones like he won't take the trash out, to never talk about them to family or friends who wouldn't give an honest, helpful opinion. So if I were to tell one of my girlfriends about a problem I was having with my husband I should ask for advice from one who isn't afraid to tell me of I'M the one in the wrong. I don't want to blurt it out to someone who will just feed my ego and always tell me I'm right. So basically only seek advice from those who have your best interests at heart :)

[@kristinhansen7519]

This is SO key. We had people that told us the same thing - and I am so thankful! It has made even tough times in our relationship truly healthy.

[@levimissy11]

great video!! this would make a nice tag video. I got married at 19 yrs old and we have been married almost 7 yrs, we don't have children , we are praying the Lord will send that blessing our way , very soon but my 5 things i have learned is : marriage isn't a fairy tale people change, life gets real , real fast Commitment is a verb , are very hard that there are times when you love some one , but days when you might not fell in love with them , trying to love the person , and over look the behaviors and most of all I have learned the Love of God , how he loves me inspite of my sin nature , and leaning on God when I am not happy in my relationship and what being truly one can be and look like in marriage marriage has been a great tool in my life , to shape my character

[@rebeccabedell4469]

Communication is key. Nicely saying what you feel or what you need from the other person helps tremendously!

[@bonnieirasid7862]

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY

[@growingmarriage]

As always, I love your energy and so excited you made a video about marriage! Obviously the topic is close to my heart and we also got married in December, 14 years ago. I think you are off to a WONDERFUL start and the forgiveness bit is so incredibly important. If I would give one tip, it is to... just be willing to change and grow over time. Marriage has many stages and openness to adapt through all of them will help tremendously :)

[@emjayvideos]

Aw, this brought me to tears! I couldn't agree more on all these lessons! I have a wonderful husband, who serves me daily, and yes, is my best friend. We've been married for eight years and just a month ago had our first little girl, so I understand the "sadness" of Just Us time coming to an end. (Obviously, she's the most beautiful gift we could ever have and having her has added so much love to our home.) Thanks, Rachel, for making marriage look so good because it truly is!

[@kjracke]

Totally agree! We will be married 5 years in October 2015 but are celebrating our 9 year dating anniversary here in a few weeks. When dating we talked about the relationship we wanted to have with one another and it was pretty simple. We wanted to respect each other, serve one another, keep open communication and show each other love. To this day we are doing a pretty good job! We welcomed our first baby in May 2012 and second in February 2014 so I understand your fears of welcoming baby girl. It is a major change for your marriage but as you know such an amazing one. You will become 3 peas in a pod! It's funny after a bit of time you don't remember life before that little babe. Love the videos Rachel!

[@ashleymaginnis3641]

I totally get what you're saying about serving each other and letting the little things go. Don't hold a grudge. It's not worth it. In my marriage I'm the clean organized one and I'm the saver! But we both chip in for housework. It might not be 50/50 but again, we're not keeping score because that will just create an issue to fight about. As long as you feel supported and loved, it doesn't matter if it's 70/30 some weeks and 60/40 other times.

[@debbielee4951]

married 28 years respect trust and communication. Dept free and don't fight over money😁

[@fuif194]

im watching this at 15 years old. I want to be a teacher

[@JessicaMillerMusic]

Just like you said "be quick to forgive" and move on quick! We've been happily married for 11 years and your advice sounds right on! We know where the line is drawn and we don't cross it.

[@kristinhansen7519]

I love your comment about mourning the loss of the "just the two of you" scenario. I can totally relate - and was starting to think I was the only one! Thank you!!

[@Boringcountrylife]

Love, love, love. Keep asking God for more of it so you are able to share it. October will be our 23rd anniversary and we are soooo excited looking forward to the many decades together once the kids are off living their lives as adults. (We habe another 8-10 years until then, but we have had glimpses of that adventure awaiting us.)

[@cm7010]

May will mark 10 years of my husband and I being married. We got married at 19, had our first child at 20 and our second at 23. I would say that balance is key in a happy marriage. My husband is the calm to my crazy and my best friend! One thing we are trying to work on is to make time just for the two of us. It sounds easy enough but you would be surprised. If you have a good family support system it's not that hard to have time alone on a regular basis. You want to make sure you do have something separate that is special for the two of you after having children. Someday the kids will be grown and have their own life and you want to still have a great relationship after the busy years taper off. Congrats on 5 years and your little blessing on the way!

[@msgenuine]

I love everything you have said. Thanks for sharing. All the advice you gave is very true. One thing I want to add is patience. Patience between couples is importance.

[@EPICBLASIAN1]

7 years of marriage for us has been awesome 😀 congratulations on 5 for you guys BUT since this is now 2018 we are tied! 😂😄😜👍👊✌

[@brentkillian]

FPU was great for us and helped get us on the right track. I really like when Dave had a lady on his show that wrote the book The good news about marriage which got me very hopeful for the future. one thing that has helped me was that we discuss thing and we get on the same page especially about finances.

[@dbean2321]

Thanks for sharing. Not married yet but definitely will definitely remember this! It all makes sense.

[@ir10031981]

I'd advise against marriage, unless you're willing to give up your space, your freedom, and even your money & property, at least somewhat.

[@ir10031981]

like for example, in two weeks Sat 12/10/16, I'll be flying to Dallas, going by myself, to rent a car and go on a road trip from Love Field to Ranger Hill, and record portions of my driving. The only reason I get to do this is because I have no nagging spouse and no children. If I were to have a female partner, my liberty goes bye-bye.

[@maggieadcox3751]

@@ir10031981 some couples give each other freedom to travel alone or with their best friends. It is about communication, boundary, arrangements of work and running of a house.

[@VivieneGraceBigornia]

i was married 2 yrs, wrote a marriage book and people were like... you have no idea young lady. And here I am now, married for 8 yrs wanting to end my marriage. I found your channel while searching for "how to love my husband" videos 😁

[@evanbuchan7034]

Rachels eyes just jump out really wide in all of her vids lol

[@candyluna2929]

I have to agree with you on everything. those are all the things I have also learned.

[@Teseia]

This is crazy! I plan on getting married this December 19th 2015 :) I'm only 1 minute into the video but that is a funny fact I thought I should share!

[@highlymedicated5936]

Wow. I couldn't agree with you more.

[@ad356]

we have been married 11 years so far. we have had our disagreements but we usually find a middle ground. i think its easier to live married then live single. i got married at the age of 23

[@ir10031981]

good for you, well, I've never married, and I know some friends I went to high school with who have also never been married. For one thing, my attitude is, outside of work, I answer to nobody, and I like keeping what I earn and spending what I earn only on myself.

[@ad356]

everyone has their own opinion but i do think my wife and i are stronger together then apart. when she lost her job last year i covered the bills, unfortunately i have gone through the same thing recently. i lost my job and she's been covering what my UI does not cover. either way we have both been through tough times.

[@rachelhudson1628]

We have almost been married for two years. My best advice is give grace to each other. You married an flawed person so expect to dish out a lot of Grace in a lifetime.

[@i5263sweets]

Hi, I would have to agree with you my husband is also more organized then I'am clean yes, and no. I've been married 19, years and I may a few more to add to what you said, make time for each other after children come, your family will be full of love even after the baby, it adds to your relationship, never let things fester, issues and all that. but what remains is love, and always showing that, it truly is a perfect bond of union. thanks for all that you do for everyone.

[@sparklypinkleopard26]

LOVE this video :) Thanks for sharing! You are so funny and cute :) The first one made me laugh because I feel like I will be the same!

[@JendisJournal]

I had to laugh because it is like that for my husband and I with the bathroom. I used to leave clothes in the bathroom because I was used to having my own bathroom and he hated it; I don't do it anymore. Also - I was married for 5 years before having kids too. I love them very much and am glad to have them, but I also know that I will enjoy the empty nest years because we had a great time with just the 2 of us in those first 5 years.

[@madnessofmymind]

My bday!

[@rubyred8845]

you both are so sweet you need to be best friends as well as partners in marriage (crime) lol congrats :)

[@lauralockery7441]

What wall color is that? lovely

[@emmatessier600]

Please try to reduce your use of vocal fry! I heard it's bad for the vocal chords.

[@radhyyunes2208]

You are so funny!!😂💗

[@clarissa1465]

Did y'all know when you first got married that you'd wait a while for children?

[@mkrajaci]

Fifth advice sums whole video.

[@Bak3dB3an]

what if you were the saver and he was the spender? is it fair that a woman can get away with spending their husband's money but not the other way around?

[@jfieser]

+McChulo Once you're married, it becomes the couple's money. Not his money or her money. It's easy to talk about, but very hard to do in real life, which is why so many marriages end in divorce (money fights).

[@Bak3dB3an]

John Fieser - marriage should be a free choice covenant, not portrayed as a contract that forces you together. They should agree the balance of both supporting the household.

[@traceycancio8066]

John Fieser . Some people don't have that mindset.

[@violettippet5246]

I'm a saver and my boyfriend is a spender, we decided that if we get married we will be sharing money.

[@ir10031981]

I'm better off not being married and having children, unless I want to answer to somebody and share my money and property. All you men should take my message to heart.

[@CherylMacKay11f]

Always kiss goodnight