5 Things Men Should Never Settle For From Women

[@ajtaylor8750]

A lack of kindness is something I'll NEVER except from a woman ever. It's one of my non-negotiables because dealing with a woman who is not kind or sweet will make for a truly miserable relationship because there's nothing more attractive that a nice, kind, and feminine woman.

[@johnmano1439]

Facts!

[@impudentdomain]

well, a woman who is not kind will also not be a good mother to your children

[@CliveRosefield]

@@impudentdomain exactly you don't want a pushover. You want someone you can contend with. And build respect for each other.

[@CliveRosefield]

Make sure you don't want a pushover. You want a challenge, someone you can contend with. And build respect for each other.

[@mrquick6775]

@@CliveRosefield Women often confuse one with the other. Unfortunately most women nowdays act masculine and esp black women!

[@williamt1579]

The biggest thing for me is peace. Settling our disagreements in a calm respectful manner.

[@CalinGilea]

Yeah. The problem is most potential partners are like children, emotionally speaking, without serious behavioral limitations set by their parents and we end up playing the exhausting role of father or mother. 😊

[@Force1Com]

Never settle when they don't swallow

[@user-ew3hh1mv9l]

Peace i believe is #1 for most men. Sure is for me. No relationship is worth sacrificing consistent peace.

[@williamclayton9566]

@@CalinGilea Women: just the most responsible teenager in the room.

[@mafp22w]

There can only be one leader in a relationship. The consequences of not leading are great. “But to Adam he said, “Because you obeyed your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground thanks to you; in painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬. Following ones wife instead of following God leads to not only a lack of peace, but a big disaster.

[@TSierra]

Emotional maturity is big for me. Obviously NO ONE wants to be with someone who is emotionally immature. How we handle situations or disagreements, I want it to be peaceful and mature.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Agreed! 🤍

[@sondralee8539]

If a potential partner is ready to grow and accept they make mistakes but willing to change that will be a good partner. Respect is very important.

[@IsraelVallejoCampos]

@@CourtneyRyanHi! do you do one on one sessions or anything like that? Thanks 👍

[@lawrence31415]

Summary: 1) Inconsistency (lack of emotional maturity) 2) No intimacy (intellectual, spiritual, emotional, physical, etc.) 3) One-sided dynamic (e.g. one person is not putting in as much effort as the other) 4) Lack of communication 5) Mistreatment, manipulation, abuse (this is a big one because it's not acceptable in any shape or form) I am not sure what more can be added to the list. Sacrifices have to be made from time to time, but do not blindly make them just to make/stay in a relationship. If you are not comfortable with making a personal sacrifice, then communicate that to see if there are reasonable alternatives. Only you can decide whether to stretch the cord or cut it.

[@Johntheviewer]

bless

[@abhisheksainani]

3rd and 4th point can happen even in a seemingly healthy and mature relationship.

[@jamesjonnes]

6) High body count. 7) Bad habits like drinking, going to parties at night, etc. 8) Having feminist views unfair to men. 9) Gets triggered by boundaries. 10) Exposes her naked body everywhere.

[@Ironman4u]

NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR!!!

[@Danny328DT]

​@@jamesjonnes I'm not sure why high body count matters. Is it a health issue?

[@Chambers_90]

My brother spent an awfully long time in an emotionally abusive relationship. She told him that he wasn't allowed to discuss any of their relationship troubles with his family (making him completely isolated), whereas she was immediately on the phone to one of her sisters after they had an argument. It absolutely broke my heart when he finally spoke to me about the issues, and how alone and unsupported he felt. He actually felt he was bound by her demands in that regard. To this day, she's still an incredibly manipulative person. To any men out there in a similar position, be mindful of your emotional wellbeing in a relationship. Never let anyone make you feel isolated, or like you're not allowed to talk to someone else about your troubles.

[@seancutler6712]

Attempting to isolate your partner from supports like friends/family is such a huge red flag, it shows that she knows what she's doing is wrong and doesn't want him outing her to friends/family who would let him know just how messed up it is, which is sometimes difficult to see when you're in the thick of it. I'm glad your brother got out of that situation.

[@MrTimjm009]

But where do you draw the line ?Because your relationship is between the 2 of you and not the rest of the world Intimacy occurs between 2 people . No privacy in a relationship means you cant open up to people without everyone knowing your business. If it about abusive behaviour then that is the caveat but one big problem when trying to resolve differencs is when there are other people interfering and telling your gf/ bf what to say / do etc

[@HunkyMan777]

No one has a right to tell you what you can or cannot do. That would be break-up grounds with immediate effect for me

[@bjale1174]

This is what I hate with my ex husband. I wanted to keep our own troubles and solved it together but him he shared it to his family. I am alone stranger (Philippines)in their country (France) that was so embarrassing for me. Til I came to the point to file a divorce and it’s done finally. For me, couple shouldn’t have to share all the troubles to the family. You both have to try first solving the issues and if the problem becomes more complicated then that’s the time to share with the people you trusted with and asked for an advice.

[@Shadow-7773]

@@bjale1174 I agree with you! You are not married to the world, some things are private! It is no one's business what goes on in your home! This what causes drama in a marriage!

[@MrBlue3rd]

My big thing is dealing with any emotional abuse. Ive had women belittles me over not having enough dating experience and say, "you aren't man enough" to be with me. Being on the receiving of that abuse has made me feel worthless to women for a good portion of my adult life and I'm fiercely protective of myself because of it.

[@ghostflame9211]

Man I’m in the same boat. And it’s getting to the point where I’m basically paralyzing myself from talking to anyone, which means I can’t get the experience, thus furthering the circle.

[@414violence]

I've been physically and emotionally abused by many girls in the past keep your head up brother you're more valuable than them and you're the better person. I'm a property manager and make $70,000 a year and my ex who worked at a restaurant used to call me a lazy pos and hit me. I'll never take that shit again. Stay single and wait for a woman who cares about you. God has the right one about to cross your path.

[@vaggs003]

Women are masters of the "you are not good enough for them" thing. And even if you are good enough at first, then one day you might not be. Usually that means she found a new, exciting "toy" and got bored of the current one. My advice here is that YOU should know your worth better than anyone. If a woman or any person belitles you like that, then they are most likely a shitty person. Just get them out of your life and move on.

[@bobkonradi1027]

They blast you for not being "man enough" for them, just immediately walk out the door. AMF.

[@MrBlue3rd]

@@bobkonradi1027 "Man Enough" as in don't have the sexual experience for them.

[@RoscoeRed]

My ex (break up was 2 months ago) exhibited the first 4 of these 5 points. Which is why I left. Love coming across videos like this because it just reassures me I made the right choice. Absolutely broke my heart to leave because I still care about her, but the lack of effort, accountability, and self awareness was just too much to bare anymore. Also add in a drinking problem that she denies having, even tho everyone can see it, even her parents. I wish her the best, but only she can realize she needs to change one day, she’s not ready to hear it from anyone else yet. Time to move on and find someone who is ready for what I’m ready for 🙌

[@seriouscat2231]

Bear, not bare.

[@kyleflournoy7730]

The equal effort part is so important. There will be times when one partner has more on their plate or is more busy or is more limited in their capabilities. But as long as the effort is mutual and each side is trying their earnest best, that goes a long way toward getting over any hard times together

[@CourtneyRyan]

Absolutely! Love this

[@FordHoard]

That's what ended my first relationship last year. We met in April, and she was in pharmacy school. She went home for the summer, and it was a great summer just talking to each other. But when she got back, we only ever got to hang out at her job at the bookstore (which was my former job) Any other time she said she was busy, and eventually I started to get upset, not angry, that she was saying she didn't even have 5 minutes to talk on the phone. She was always saying stuff like "sorry you don't actually think I'm busy." We tried talking like friends after we ended it in December, but we've had so many arguments since then. We didn't even talk from January 1st to early April this year, so we could move on, but after that she seemed like she was distant and either not replying, or giving very short replies. When I questioned her why, she only got mad and we argued about that.

[@ChocolateMilk..]

@@FordHoard She was entertaining someone else.

[@FordHoard]

@@ChocolateMilk.. You can think that, but you don't know her. She's the most particular and meticulous person I've ever seen. She has a schedule and she sticks to it.

[@ChocolateMilk..]

@@FordHoard You can think that if you like to.

[@alexchacon778]

So glad you're shedding light on the kind of abuse men experience that I'm sadly not surprised to hear goes underreported. Thanks for everything you do, Courtney!

[@wraith9112]

Everything you said about intimacy is why my narriage of 24 years is about to end. We function more as roommates than husband and wife.

[@AssyTheNator]

Sad to hear that man. I had a 3 year relationship end in 2022 then a 6 month end last month, I can't imagine 24 years. You have kids with her?

[@wraith9112]

@Eric Jackson no kids, thankfully. Well we have a toy poodle. Who is beyond spoiled.

[@Lordran__]

Brutal 😔

[@cre8ivjay]

22 years for me. Two almost grown kids. It's tough, but I force myself to look ahead not behind.

[@armyrunner99]

One thing that caused my most recent breakup was a lack of trust. I’d literally given her zero reason to mistrust me (I’d always been faithful, and always been open and honest with her), but yet she made up in her head somehow that I was lying to her or keeping things from her. We loved each other, but without trust there can be no relationship.

[@josephstevens9888]

I do not tolerate mind games. When I encounter a person who engages in such, I walk away.

[@nzotaylor8755]

Modern dating is really a headache. It's kind of clear to conclude that social media doesn't help in having meaningful relationships with women and vice versa. It's best to have a social media blackout IMO.

[@canman87]

Social media is cancer and has HEAVILY contributed to what our dating culture has become in modern times.

[@stevebak6664]

Rhetorical question. Where can I find someone that thinks like you. It’s hopeless out here. Keep up the good work.

[@frank1fm634]

Steve Bak sorry to say but you're clueless my friend.i can't give you a red pill of all my experiences with women and what I've learned.Steve let me tell you something.If you honestly believe you're going to find a "decent" girl,notice I said "decent",then travel to another universe.What you're hearing here is an "illusion".Do you understand that?When you look in the mirror do you think you're attractive?Women like attractive tall men.If you're not attractive then be prepared to be alone most of your life.Sorry to say.Plain and simple.

[@ConTrellTV]

to people with a more balanced take on relationships and you’re one of them. I got out of a toxic relationship some years ago and I’ve been single ever since. I’ve learned a lot by watching your content and many others. I’m definitely a better man because of it. I feel much more prepared to be in a healthy relationship when I decide to take that step again! Thank you!

[@theaspiecoach5934]

I’m 35, top 3 percent earner, and I have listened to Courtney for a long time. I don’t agree with it all but I have worked hard to improve myself. Now, I have my life together, and met a young lady. Let me say how ANGRY these mid thirties women are who have more bodies than a Vietnam veteran.

[@tommygunn6901]

Courtney, you once again nailed it! If I have to constantly question the consistency of the relationship, I'm just gonna dip out. I shouldn't have to keep guessing or let my anxiety run absolutely wild! This is why I vet people very hard now and I'm dead serious on who gets in...whether or not that's a bit extreme is debatable

[@CourtneyRyan]

Absolutely true! Thanks for sharing this Tommy!

[@JebsTennisJourney]

Just ended a relationship with a girl who was inconsistent. It was confusing and did make me question myself. My therapist helped me to see the reality of her behaviors and I wound up breaking it off. It was not easy, but it was necessary.

[@MrCamkicks]

Courtney’s upload consistency is crazy. Always a different topic every video too, impressive.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you 🥹

[@canman87]

Two big things for me are that I have a zero-tolerance policy for disrespect and no desire to have someone around that disrupts my peace. I had a GF a couple years ago that disrespected me by essentially calling me a liar because I had just that day gotten over being sick and didn't want to potentially expose her to whatever it was I had. "If you don't want to hang out, just say that and stop making excuses." I read that and my interest in her immediately dissolved. I never once lied to her about anything and was always straight-up with her, so to be accused of lying in that situation just totally rubbed me the wrong way. We were split up within a couple days of that. As for disrupting my peace, I've been living without roommates for almost five years and really enjoy having everything the way I like it and knowing that my place is my personal sanctuary from whatever else may be going on. If a gal comes into my life and starts drastically changing things around, constantly tries to monopolize my free time, or otherwise creates an uncomfortable environment for me, I'm cuttin' that shit off right quick.

[@marcd2743]

Bro, "If you don't want to hang out, just say that and stop making excuses." Is just normal chick stuff for when they think you don't care about them. That actually meant she wanted to be with you and felt hurt you didn't want o be with her. I'm guessing by your reaction that you were edging her out. Do what you need to, but don't pretend.

[@canman87]

@@marcd2743 We had been having a couple rocky weeks leading up to that exchange, so I suppose you could say it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Having said that, I don't think writing that comment off as "normal chick stuff" is helpful for anyone, as excusing that kind of behavior only perpetuates it. And frankly, that shit needs to stop. Regardless, whatever her intended meaning may have been, that isn't what she said. I'm not a mind reader and I don't play those games; you either deal with me straight or I'm not going to interpret things correctly some percentage of the time. Sometimes that means things are going to be drastically misinterpreted, as they perhaps were in this situation. If you're an adult, use your words and communicate directly. Anything less than that is immature and I have no time for that kind of shit moving forward.

[@marcd2743]

Look up the word non sequitur.

[@canman87]

@@marcd2743 I am familiar with the term and I don't see how it applies here.

[@marcd2743]

@@canman87 That was meant for another comment not yours.

[@batzgameguru]

I agree with this 100% I dated this girl and I would have died for her. But she would refuse to communicate and didn't follow through with her words and promises and it was really mentally exhausting.

[@WriterProfessor]

These things are no joke! My uncle married a woman who put him through many of these things. The relationship literally killed him! 😞

[@Ironman4u]

Unrealistic expectations and a change of heart after starting a relationship on either or both sides is becoming quite common... People change and have to be constantly " reasessing" and " tuning up" their relationship. Frequency and consistency in handling any disagreements in a constructive and positive manner and " airing" things out before they become too big to resolve is critical! Sometimes, going back to the basics like an athlete being in a " slump" is the best solution in repairing the relationship. Open and honest communication, trust, selflessness , apologizing, and being humble are some of the important ingredients missing nowadays. Remembering back when both people initially met and keeping that " spark" going. Bottom line...it's important to keep from falling into a "rut" or "routine" with each other with the daily boring, mundane, and taking each other for granted. You are correct on all of the points discussed! Relationships take work and can't be left on " auto pilot!"... Otherwise, the relationship will..... " crash and burn!"

[@scottteabergs5360]

Thank you! #2, 3, 4 and 5 go to the core of why my 35 year marriage deteriorated in the past years and eventually failed. Courtney, you provide the language for all those things that gradually developed over time, where I did not recognize what was happening, and where I was unable of voicing to my closest friends and unable of effectively communicating them in sessions with 3 different therapists. I will never ever settle for a non-intimacy (in all its forms) relationship again.

[@kevinb8881]

Courtney, I agree, intimacy in a relationship is a must, same goes for intimacy for friendships, too!!🙂

[@erikdam8850]

Great video. Guys, as a veteran be it in terms of interesting relationships or warfare: There is no shame in seeking help. Acceptance of your own limitations or communicating what you are willing to accept is a hallmark of masculinity. not the end of it. Abusive partner? PTSD? Both? Reach out. You will find nothing but respect and acceptance from your peers

[@deathbywii2837]

if people would drop their ego and communicate their problems in a relationship they would have a better chance of success If you are not willing to communicate you dont deserve to be in a relationship

[@Db-pq7zw]

Inconsistency? damn there goes every girl haha

[@anthonyw5261]

I think talking about types of intimacy is important because even though the same they are also different. A video on this would be good or please send a link if you have already covered this🙂

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

Great list, just want to add that guilt tripping is a form of abuse.

[@americanexpat8792]

Courtney, You hit the nail on the head in this video. Many people have a serious problem with intimacy. That’s because it requires vulnerability - and that’s not easy. It takes a strong person to go to lay themselves out there, but you have to do if you want real love. A great book to read is Matthew Kelly's 7 Levels of Intimacy.

[@LatimusChadimus]

My biggest one is contentious women. King Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived and he said both it is better to sleep on the corner of a rooftop than it is to live with a contentious woman, just like he also said that it's much better to get lost in the wilderness aka the desert than it is to marry a contentious woman. Amos 4:3 folks 😂😂🤣 if you want a bit of a laugh due to ONE word in that verse

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂😂

[@Withernall]

Nearly all of these points are a recurring theme in nearly *every* relationship I have, platonic or otherwise. I realise that it might suggest a case of "Am I the asshole?" but... without preamble, my issue is that I don't feel that I can reach out to those I know *now* in a meaningful manner. But I also know that I'm still in need of healing... maturing, honestly, before I can feel I can approach people in an equal, confident manner. My most major issue is that I yet don't feel that I can... well, *afford* any meaningful common activities. But I'm currently working on deprogramming *that* part of my missconceptions.

[@spyrodragonsbane3076]

Thank you for a great and clear video! Extremely important points.

[@marshallfield2138]

I have a friend w/ trust issues. Won't say much on names or things. Slowly opened up. Then she stepped back 2 steps. Just friends not dating. Seems like some trauma and other issues. So trying to encourage to stay away from some guys when asked questions by her. Sweet woman that deserves better.

[@tspencer661]

I’m so glad that you mentioned abuse. Men, if your woman is abusing you, LEAVE. It won’t get better. There is a lack of information about abuse in relationships. Physical abuse is only one type of abuse. This is the easiest abuse to identify. It’s easy to see cuts, scrapes, and bruises. Abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, or financial. Emotional abuse includes name calling, put downs, and accusations. If someone goes through your phone or computer without permission, that’s abuse. Threats of violence against you, children or pets is abuse. Threatening to harm themselves due to your behavior is abuse. Physical abuse includes hitting, biting, scratching, poisoning, hitting someone with a car, pistol whipping, and murder. Physical abuse can also include throwing items at people, destroying property like cars, and physically preventing someone from leaving. Financial abuse would include not giving the other person access to joint accounts. Removing money from joint accounts without the other person’s knowledge. Accusing the other person of financial wrongdoing. Sexu@l abuse includes unwanted touching, engaging in acts while the other person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and r@pe. If you think you may be being abused, tell someone what’s going on. Keep talking until someone listens. If you are being abused, make a plan to get out. Do not tell your abuser your plans. Decide if it’s safer for you to leave while they’re away or if you would feel better with a police presence at the time of your departure. Close all access to the financial accounts. (I forgot to do this and my ex-husband took three-fourths of the money out of our joint account.🤦🏾‍♀️). Find a safe place to stay. There are few men’s shelters in the US. Make plans ahead of time to stay with friends or family. Get some therapy to heal yourself. Know that life gets better after you leave. Courtney, I have also had the honor of men who have been abused share their stories with me. One man shared that his ex-girlfriend spread dog feces on his front door. Two men shared their stories of sexual assaults. Men, you don’t have to put up with abuse. You deserve to be respected and cared for in a relationship. www.insideedition.com/48-hours-examines-murder-of-steve-clayton-millionaire-husband-poisoned-with-eye-drops-by-wife-lana?amp www.foxnews.com/us/arizona-woman-runs-over-boyfriend-car-police www.wave3.com/2021/10/22/louisville-woman-accused-shooting-pistol-whipping-boyfriend/?outputType=amp www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/who-kills-whom-spouse-killings-exceptional-sex-ratio-spousal www.keranews.org/health-science-tech/2017-06-07/first-texas-shelter-for-male-victims-of-domestic-violence-opens-in-dallas?_amp=true

[@tnoack67]

Im going through this right now with a coworker. She was in a 12 year relationship and recently became single. We got close during this time. All the body language signals were there. I opened up to her a few weeks ago with my feelings. Things were good after that and we still got close. No intimacy, but hugs, long stares and hand touches. This week, out of the biue, she went completely cold. No explanations and very immature handling this.

[@joser_1295]

She’s going through a break up Man. She’s gonna be emotionally unavailable for a long time.

[@PStewart28]

She probably got back with her dude

[@tnoack67]

​@@PStewart28 no, that's not the case. No marriage or kids in 12 years together. Something was going on there.

[@PStewart28]

@@tnoack67 When a woman gives 12 years to a guy only to leave with nothing that's pretty devastating. More so for the woman. I think you give her comfort but I'm with the Joser, it's gonna be an emotional mess for a long time as she's on the rebound in a major way.

[@leonhenry4478]

If she didn't commit to the guy she was with for 12 years, she ain't commiting to you. She has issues. Just hit it and quit it.

[@Tonald_Drumpft]

Yes. Courtney said the quiet part loud: *MEN HAVE TO COLLECTIVELY RAISE THEIR STANDARDS!!*

[@LordShockwave9]

That last point was very important and I'm grateful that you as a woman addressed this understated and underdeveloped point in today's times. Thank you Courtney.

[@VideoGameRoom32]

I'm not changing. Doesn't that depend on what your partner wants you to change? Perhaps too demanding? I usually don't change for her. If you're not causing any harm to anyone else why change for someone else if don't agree with the politics or religion.

[@mschlnaer]

Courtney your channel and content has helped me to understand where i went wrong. Thank you. You are right on point and i trust the infoemation you provide. I am 45 and was dating a woman who was 34. We met 10 years ago and broke up last October. I see where i went wrong but i also can now see how ahe mistreated me. Thank you so much for your hard work on these videos and the solid content you pur out. Keep up the great work!

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

Every woman I met online claimed to be dead broke, but the photos they sent me showed a fabulous wardrobe and opulent living quarters. Parents were always dead, and they were living with a grandmother or aunt. They always begged for money claiming starvation and poverty. I don't know what playbook they're following, but playbook it is!!

[@jtfritz9169]

Courtney calls out the mainstream media in the last point. I love it

[@CourtneyRyan]

💃🏻

[@stevebak6664]

That is correct. And that is not by accident, it is by design. The powers that be are trying to destroy the family unit. More chaos, more control that they have. Faith in God is standing in their way.

[@MrBlue3rd]

I looked for that part of the video and I found it. I think after all things "MeToo" the mainstream media purposefully ignores abusive behavior that comes from women because it doesn't fit their narrative.

[@anti-carnistvegan]

​@@stevebak6664God isn't real. It is all faith as you've said.

[@theevolutionofthebear3093]

People should spend more time worrying about what they offer rather than what the other person can give them. People act like finding a partner is like buying a car or some shit.

[@dgwaters]

Nowadays, trying to find a girlfriend is like going on a job interview. And I’ve never had any luck with either.

[@ramiroalvarez5397]

Good points Courtney! You said it well which is like being in the "FRIEND ZONE" relationship. Thanks a million Ms. Ryan. 😊

[@jackmeyer4280]

Just discovered your channel, Courtney. I really appreciate your perspective and insight, and that your videos are so helpful and supportive of men. Thank you!

[@CourtneyRyan]

I’m so happy you’re here! Thanks for the kind comment 🤗

[@gk_zone4274]

Intimacy is a big one for me. I pretty much keep everyone at arms length at this point. Also, because ive been around abusive relationships throughout my childhood, i hold back on my feelings and opinions sometimes whenever i get in a disagreement with a woman im dating or interested in.

[@PaperRaines]

The disclaimer to this video should have been "This list can only help you if you're not committed to lying to yourself anymore". Just like Courtney's "hey guys, you should really use soap when you shower" advice (I'm *still* not over the reality that some men actually needed to hear that [forehead slap]), this is a masterclass of just common sense. People; but for the sake of this channel's main audience, men, know when something doesn't add up. They lie. They lie first to themselves, and then to each other. To fulfill the needs and desires they untimely prioritize more than the committed, healthy relationship they aspire to be in It's, hard, finding the one for you. And along the way most people just take what they can get. Even when they find themselves in relationships or married, they still settled most of the time. And as is widely known in the data most relationships end within two years and half of marriages end in divorce. Because everybody spent most of their time _lying_ So this is an absolutely phenomenal list, I think it was well composed and I can't dispute a single word Courtney said. What I am extremely skeptical of is, how many men watching this will actually take any of it in. The moment they reach an inflection point between the girl they're courting and one of these bullet points, they're not going to walk away. They're going to start making rationalizations, and they're going to eventually start circling the same drains to frustration they always do It's human nature. But again, great video

[@angiepatterson6338]

Good morning Courtney. Thanks for the Mother’s Day video.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Happy Mother’s Day! 🤍

[@Kashban]

Most common turnoffs I encountered and if it's consistent, a 100% breakup are disrespect, not being loyal, not being empathic for my concerns and feelings, being argumentative and confrontal, denying intimacy for no good reason, embarrass me in front of others, not being nurturing and uplifting. That's what my GF can expect from me in the male version and I expect no less from them, in the feminine way. Unfortunately, none of my six long term wife/GFs were able to maintain this for long, as with modern women they never learned to be a woman like this. If they didn't cheat on me it did only take a few weeks for them to present the new guy, to add disrespect to embarrassment. Although, my last GF (49, still my neighbor, so I get all the news first hand) went from me (54, masculine, fit, stoic, humorous, not too bad looking, financial stable and caring) during one of her depression phases to a much older below average small dude who drives a cheap SUV, smokes and can barely climb the stairs to her appartment, which made me laugh both in disblief and relief. Looks like in this one case I was way overqualified 😄. Good luck dealing with her serious mental health issues and her feminist adult daughter, pal 👍. As long as you are there she will not try to get with me for a third time, so thanks for taking the bullet.

[@VideoGameRoom32]

Actions speaks louder than words.

[@TheSaneHatter]

It seems that the few relationships I've either had or tried for have been victims of either inconsistency, and sometimes of one-sidedness, with a lot of false signals of extreme interest being sent off. Even some of my female friends have been shocked. it's either been that, or an unwanted element of what I'll call "sleaziness," but that's a subject for another time.....

[@mastick5106]

One thing I would add is to be sure that what you _perceive_ and what is _happening_ actually match (refer back to her point #4) before assuming anything. Example: When I was dating the woman I'm now married to, I got the idea to surprise her with a special Valentine's Day dinner. I cooked everything up, put it all in a basket with a rope attached to the handle, climbed up to her balcony (second floor) and pulled the basket up, ready to present the surprise. She saw me climbing, snuck over and locked the door to the balcony, then hid in her room and ignored me knocking. Her roommate eventually let me in. I was about ready to just pass straight through to her front door, head home and say I'm done trying to do special things for her, but fortunately she came out before I did, and when she saw my face she immediately realized she'd messed up badly. When we talked through it, it turned out that she knew I liked jokes and funny things, and she'd had trouble figuring out my sense of humor (having little of her own) but thought playing a "little joke" would help us connect that way. She honestly had no idea her spur of the moment "joke" would come across as mean, and was _very_ embarrassed and apologetic when she realized how it did come across. It ruined the planned mood of the dinner, and it took me over a year to be willing to try anything close to that involved again (something which she always blamed herself for, not me), but in the long run it really deepened our understanding of each other's needs and weaknesses. We've been married over 30 years now.

[@mastick5106]

Same pic, but different channel, so I'm assuming that's not actually you, Courtney? Never heard of Telegram.

[@matthewcormier8744]

Great post learning from it now

[@Pendragon0000]

All of these points were basically my ex, except for the last point. I'm pretty glad I ended it with her, but sometimes it makes me sad that I had to walk away.

[@jackreinsma2076]

Not usually one to comment, but the point about communication hit really home given what I just went through with someone I was dating (depending on what day you asked her we either were or weren't in a relationship). We had a misunderstanding which got unnecessarily heated, and at the end of it I said that there was miscommunication on both sides. To which I got the response, "No, I'm perfect at communicating." That should've been the red flag for me to end it, but given other extreme things going on in her life, I gave it a pass. Fast forward a few months and things finally got broken off and after talking with a few friends and even showing the texts of how she talked to me, it became apparent that she was also gaslighting me. Now I know I made mistakes with her and worked to rectify those when they happened, I will be the very last person to say they're perfect as I'm learning to not be so hard on myself, but everything was always my issue and I had to work alone to make up for the issues. I will eventually get over all this, but it is still fresh and I'm trying to separate myself from what happened so I can process and move on, hopefully finding a healthy relationship down the road

[@RustGold-zf3vv]

This video said everything I said! 💯 Accurate! Thank you for posting this.

[@brandonhill2183]

Have one right now in the talking stages. She works 12 hour days 6 days a week, so i get 1 text a day from her. Seriously considering calling it off as it still seems like it should be possible for more communication

[@kylemacri]

Had these happen to me. Only had a talking stage. It was my first try at a relationship. Figured she was playing with me and other guys/cheating,So I just stopped. If she wants to continue things between us she'll have to acknowledge me and what she did,mature and apologize.

[@LordHolley]

The Courtster always gets a thumbs up...

[@tyw2675]

Always killing it, Courtney.

[@NerdlySquared]

The bottom basement bare minimum standard of just being pleasant to be around, largely isn’t even bothered with anymore by so many, good luck with all the rest of that.

[@paulgoode994]

Great video always Courtney!!

[@Symphonia1983]

Is there a cure for not being so judgementful about men and women ?

[@tnasburypl]

Remember Courtney. #6 Women lie a lot more than men. Women with baby daddies always put you last. To love one woman you end up taking care of the baby daddy, the kids, and nevermind youself and accept her bullshit.

[@vikramchatterjee4495]

Women leave all the time for no other reason than "I'm not happy." As a man, if you are not able to do the same thing, you are being exploited.

[@erniet]

I loved all the points made but like to say thank you for stressing the issue of abuse. No man or woman should ever accept or endure any form of abuse whether physical, psychological or emotional. Unfortunately there is this dichotomy of the “male villain and the female victim” that’s been perpetuated in society and by the media but it’s not the truth. Research has shown that abuse of men by their female partners happens in almost the same proportion. Most men, myself included, are less likely to report it because of the negative connotations attached to it. I experienced that firsthand in my previous marriage for 7 years but she always played the victim and even got me arrested and charged. By the grace of God I was acquitted and they found out that I was rather the victim bcos I had contemporaneous journals of all the abuse I had received. As written by a famous African American writer “if someone shows you who they are the first time believe them”. Be vigilant and know who you are dealing with before any long term commitment. Peace ✌🏿

[@OpEditorial]

Should also be pointed out that getting married and starting a family wont solve any of the aforementioned issues. Knowing the difference between what is and what isnt a woman's "shit test" is half the battle... the other half is walking away.

[@adrianace1725]

I don't settle for anyone. I've yet to meet a woman that compares to myself. Most are a crushing disappointment to be honest. Better to be single!

[@isaacmoore3639]

Loved this video! Thanks for all you do. I noticed something in your ads for better help. I have noticed you say the ‘and’ in “licensed and experienced’ fast so it can sound like “licensed inexperienced” which I am pretty sure is not what you are trying to say.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Lol oh no! Thank you for letting me know, I’ll try to slow down 😂

[@jpmzo]

Just wanted to share that the couple living in the apartment below me have the first names, Courtney and Ryan, lol. Thanks for your wonderful channel

[@peterkottke2570]

Many of these are yellow flags. Sometimes they've got valid reasons: school finals, family issues that consume their time and energy. Try communication first. Her reasons may be valid. Yeah if they're game playing, mean or using you as a backup then run for the hills, but I'd find out first.

[@jdanistheman]

I didn’t realize it until after the break up but my ex emotionally abused me. I want absolutely nothing to do with her but I’m still recovering from the abuse. She used to put in so much effort and show so much maturity in the beginning. She completely changed into a person I don’t recognize. She never reciprocated, disregarded my feeling, never respected my boundaries, stopped prioritizing time with me and only seemed happy when I went along with what she wanted and didn’t speak up for myself. Every time I spoke up for myself, she’d stonewall me. It was such a miserable experience and I know every woman isn’t like this but it does make me nervous for my next relationship. I don’t want to be treated like that ever again.

[@tspencer661]

Emotional abuse is no joke. Some people, like me, grew up in emotionally abusive households. I didn’t realize that my husband was emotionally abusive until I told my counselor that I felt like I went from a controlling mom to a controlling husband. She told me that you marry what you know. I knew emotionally abusive behavior, so that’s what I married. She also suggested that I read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. The book helped me understand why I chose my ex-husband. He and my mother are cut from the same cloth. Therapy and reading about emotional abuse helped me heal a lot. Sharing my story with others also helped. (So many of us have abusive parents.) Counseling may work for you. If you like reading, you might want to read The Verbally Abusive Relationship or Controlling People by Patricia Evans. Another suggestion is watching The Kindness Diaries. It’s a document-series about a man who travels around the world due to kindness from strangers. If you have interacted with someone who is selfish and angry, it’s easy to think that all people are selfish and angry. Watching the Kindness Diaries reminded me that there are kind and selfless people in the world. www.discoveryplus.com/show/the-kindness-diaries-us#

[@jdanistheman]

@@tspencer661 thank you. I do believe there are good people out there. I just want to be more careful this time. This was my first ever girlfriend (at the big age of 26) so I really didn’t know what I was doing. I’m in therapy now and have done a lot of studying on emotional and narcissistic abuse. It opened my eyes on what I went through. I’m not into reading but I will listen to an audio book so I may try to find audio versions of your suggestions. Looking back, my ex was an extremely angry and selfish person and I always had a feeling she was that way. I just wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I know what I want in a partner for sure and can say that my experience being a father figure to her child let me know I’d love to be a dad one day.

[@tspencer661]

@@jdanistheman It sounds like therapy has been helpful to you.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 You’re young. There’s no need to rush. Take as much time as you need to heal yourself before you start dating. I didn’t know what I wanted in a partner until AFTER I left my ex-husband of 17 years. What do I want? The complete opposite of him.😆 When the time is right, you’ll meet your wife.😊

[@jdanistheman]

@@tspencer661 Thank you! Therapy has helped so much! I actually have a session today. I can say I’ve always had an idea of what I wanted and as I look back, my ex morphed herself into what I wanted just to turn out to be the complete opposite of the girl I asked to be my girlfriend. So now she solidified what I was looking for and it’s DEFINITELY not her 😂 I turn 29 tomorrow and now I know for a fact I’m not crazy for wanting what I want. She’s younger than me but has had boyfriends before so I kind of followed her lead on what’s appropriate and inappropriate in a relationship. I’ll never let someone dictate my values like that again. If the values don’t align, I’m leaving. I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person!

[@adamfillman9020]

Thanks Courtney

[@Bryan-gr6kn]

Honestly I’m just over dating in general. So exhausted with women who talk about how successful they are and how much money they make but never make an attempt to split the bill. It’s not even paying for their portion of the check that I want. Just make the attempt without expecting the man to pay. Even if the person isn’t interested in me they’ll be assured that I’ll always be kind and at the very least pay for my food. I’m honestly just over it. I make good money but another person’s money isn’t more precious than mine.

[@joshuajefferson9024]

I would say that overall the woman or partner needs to be happy and fulfilled in themselves as a single person, by this they would have a secure attachment style, would be a consistent communicator, and not take anything or anyone for granted.

[@gary6902]

WOW! You nailed my interactions with a certain someone to a tee, Unfortunate but I'm not available for the games. Thanks for speaking out loud for me 😁

[@leonardgrant6876]

Good luck to find man or woman with those skills, I am testing people a lot because I am searching for good woman and what I will find over and over again is that good woman are very hard to find and if I will find one she usually has ring on her finger. Just recently I have found one very good looking woman however she was showing some unhealthy signs for example often she is acting distant and has posted a fight with her ex on youtube where her ex is clearly seen and her face is blurred.

[@haythamfathitahir]

Bad Apples are on both sides, so true.

[@Steven-x9t]

Thank you

[@thetandfpodcast]

Courtney, as someone who practices celibacy, it’s har… uhh… difficult to watch this channel. This is great advice. Keep up the good work!

[@stevenzeluck]

Wise words, Courtney!

[@Paul.Vice.official]

Thanks Courtney.

[@carmennaja2199]

Love this advice though I’m a teenager, I agree with the points of the video❤️❤️

[@DavidMatias79]

Be real careful out there

[@carmennaja2199]

@@DavidMatias79 I will😊

[@MrakdNadvladar]

Thanks for all the content lately. I think I got some useful info but not exactly sure what to make of it. Alright have a great day😊

[@sandip121]

Exactly same things happen in 🇮🇳 India.Your videos give mental help to us.

[@darkoilic22]

God bless such women as Courtney! Protect them and let them lead the way to change modern women by returning them to their natural, God given roots.

[@BlairPittams]

After awhile the sense of their smell, you understand if their, sexually available for you, or considered a friend, or simply avoided, if I was more aware I should have smelt trouble brewing

[@licenseacademy]

thank you for the thoughtful post! quick question - so where do "good" women hang out? maybe another post as an answer. this way simpletons stay clear of trouble while still being able to make women pal/s

[@MannyLoxx2010]

Spiritual? You can really only have Spiritual Intimacy with whatever God or Gods you may believe in. Emotional and Sexual Intimacy is a must in any serious, long-term relationship. Everything you say on this video is spot on, except the Spiritual Intimacy part.

[@nathanv.4397]

I'm writing a book. I don't know if I'll finish it but it's about how people relate to their environment and vice versa. It started out as a self improvement journal. I've had some amazing experiences from it. There's a chapter on Intimacy. I really like your definition probably bc it's similar to mine. I apply it w epistemology. I define it many ways; nature; as a 5 step process; cause and effect; physical reductionism and cosmic origins. "From a somatic perspective it is the grip that existential influences impress on the corporeal experience; that is to say environmental factors preoccupy perceptions. Physical senses, intuitions, emotions, and thoughts are information conduits that allow people to connect with the world and each other. The more engaged these conduits are the stronger the experience becomes. Without these senses life as we know it would be void. They are the perceptive root of pleasures, pains, desires, fears, vulnerabilities, strengths, attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts. Intimacy therefore I am. I think, therefore I am.’ Cosmicus et nexum, ergo sum." 1. the mechanism of existential products and relations. 2. engagement with an empirical environmental variable (objective); engagement with an intangible abstraction (subjective). 3. a) a connection to a stimulus-a concept, person, place, or thing. b) a mutual affectation that provides a feeling of closeness; 4. (of a person or object) an induced reactive state; a state of affected physical change. 5. a modified state of physical and/or psychological adaptation, or maladaptation, and it’s subsequent internalized behavioral dispositions, inclinations, and attitudes. 6. a representation of the strength of a connection to a stimulus. 7. a scalar representation of augmentation between a former state and a new one. 8. a preoccupation of perceptions; a strong neural connection. 9. a) the sensitivity of the relationship between an impulse and an impulse response function; b) cause and effect c) a vector to a novel state 10. developing familiarity 11. repetition and development 12. a) passion; the motivated behavior culminated and affected by a sentimental investment of thoughts, emotions, and will in an ambitious or creative exercise that enhances topical knowledge, wisdom, and existential experience b) the dopaminergic reward of connecting to a goal oriented stimulus

[@DarrenChen]

Thank you! 😊

[@samuelwebster2769]

Those builders aren't very inconcistent lol.. Ai Courtney Im still feeling hurt after walking away from a woman who felt such a connection to.. I must admit she was the first ever woman to kiss me.. I've had a very difficult past that's caused me to struggle find confidence.. Anyways, I tried hard and she was at first into it.. But my insecurities unfortunately made her friend zoned me.. She said she needs time I went with it for a few months.. Another man came into the picture one night on a date.. And that caused a triangulation which caused her meeting another man through him.. And that has hurt me even more.. Been 5 weeks since no contact and the pain hasn't really gone away..

[@PappaBear_1234]

Happy Mothers Day to all the viewers watching

[@DarrenChen]

Is there any communication or preparation up front to avoid some of these issues? Specifically, I believe that the one-sided dynamic is a frequent issue that creaps up early on in dating and spirals downward when I begin to put more effort to set up subsequent dates. I know that this is highly situational, but it makes me curious whether there's a conversation to be had or technique to set up healthy expectations. What comes to mind is encouraging the woman to voice discomfort when she does so that we can pivot the date. But also leave opportunity for me to demonstrate that I am a gentleman. Again I know this is highly situational, but I am wondering if there is more to expand on this.

[@jtvice1862]

I've only met 3 women (out of a 1000) with the virtue required for marriage. They had better options. I was disappointed in myself, but I am happy for them. I've had some options, but they were an automatic no-go due to a lack of virtue.

[@louisenglish8069]

Just listening to this is exhausting, let alone doing it

[@MylesKillis]

1. Inconsistency. Yup every inconsistent girl I eventually got with was terrible for me cause I wasn’t their first choice.

[@gregoryadler7806]

Rule #1 about being a man: you do not hurt a woman. To the ladies here, if a man does stuff to. you leave the relationship now.

[@LuisArias-ui5dw]

Happy Sunday Courtney lookin classy and cute as always 🌹🌹