Should You Settle In Your Love Life?

Should You Settle In Your Love Life? | Matthew Hussey

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Күн бұрын

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@huwinner2428 2 жыл бұрын

As a man I really enjoy watching your videos. Even when they’re oriented towards women it helps me understand how they’re prospective and feelings in dating. I especially liked this video because it really is excellent advice for men as well. I feel like most relationship channels for men are toxic and focus too much on being an alpha male. I love your approach of kindness, compassion, and empathy towards both others and yourself. Keep up the great work :)

@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 2 жыл бұрын

As a lesbian I sometimes watch men dating channels. Very interesting to see stuff aimed at the other gender lol. I agree that a lot of those channels are quite toxic.

@sandralujan1199 2 жыл бұрын

Spread the word!! 😹❤️

@MABO07 2 жыл бұрын

None of the men I was in relationship with during my 20s felt like I was good enough to be “the one” for them. They were always looking for greener pastures. Now I’m in my late 30s and very traumatized with rejection, shame and verbal abuse I don’t even have the emotional strength to get into another relationship. Dating Websites are torture because they don’t offer an organic or gentle process of meeting someone . You are literally a commodity on these sites, constantly under scrutiny and evaluation. I have had enough of that to last lifetimes.

@qz3024 2 жыл бұрын

Wish I could give you a hug as a stranger and send you some strength and self-love

@ShadowbannedAccount 2 жыл бұрын

BullS. A lot of men will chase a serious relationship when they're young. I say this because I'm one of them, 22yo, currently in a relationship with a 22yo woman. All the men YOU WANT don't. You get 1000+ matches on dating apps. You get approached by guys every day. You have 12 years from 18 to 29, and somehow, you can't find one single good guy? Boohoo, I feel so sad for you. How about men, who are lucky to get 3 matches in a day, who have to approach and be rejected by women every single day? Men's dating life is on Brutal mode. Women's dating life is on Easy mode, that's why if they still fail, I have no sympathy.

@bambooforrests 2 жыл бұрын

@@ShadowbannedAccount I am around her age, but unlike her, I never even dated. I asked a couple of girls out in my early 20s, but they were not interested, even though they were not the most attractive. The ones who did show interest, I did not have the energy, nor the inclination to be the funny, charming guy they felt entitled to, and I did not like their personalities enough to commit that much of myself to pursue a relationship. I would rather just lose my virginity to an escort than to go through the exhausting ordeal of dating, and trying to meet unrealistic expectations for a mediocre reward. But unlike her, I do not blame women for my lack of experience. That's on me, and her not finding anyone is on her, not men. I do hope that she finds someone, eventually, but I still don't feel sympathy for her. When a man complains about being alone, he is accused of being bitter, entitled and low value. Women should be held to the same standard. When men can't find a partner, they are told to either, improve their attractiveness, lower their standards, or shut up and accept being alone. The same standard should apply to "lonely" women.

@bronx452 10 ай бұрын

@@ShadowbannedAccountyou're still young and unexperienced that's why you don't have symapthy. It will come later in life hopefully, when you learn empathy and compassion for others. You know, just the fact many men like women on tinder and such does not mean it's easier for us, that's just a count. Finding a good, caring, sensitive and empathetic partner has nothing to do with quantity but quality. And as you wrote you have no compassion for us, that's exactly what we have to deal with from toxic masculinity usually. How can you be a good partner if you're devaluing a woman's feelings and reality just bc you never experienced it? You can't. If someone expresses how they feel it's not your task to say they shouldn't feel that way. Just listen and you'll learn.

@ShadowbannedAccount 10 ай бұрын

@@bronx452 The irony, talking about compassion and empathy, while not knowing what men actually want. What men want is a young woman. Why? Because they're still feminine, not contaminated by the world. Their babies are also healthier. Do you have compassion or care for that? No. Instead of appreciating that, you shame us for not wanting old women like you. What if people shame you for not wanting a broke, ugly guy? What if the man is broke and ugly? Do YOU have compassion for that? Have some self-awareness, madam. Once you do, then we can talk about compassion.

@clarel4584 2 жыл бұрын

Agree. I met a man online and he cracked me up with his amazing sense of humor. I was hooked! It took me a while to get over the fact that he was shorter and less handsome than I wanted. But the physical chemistry was amazing and I fell in love hard!! Still praying for a happy ending for us. Pray that it happens!

@bradwhitt6768 2 жыл бұрын

I will pray for you. refreshing to see a woman go after a good man.

@snoozyq9576 2 жыл бұрын

@@bradwhitt6768 women go after good men all the time. And men don't always go for great women...

@freudianslip2192 2 жыл бұрын

@@snoozyq9576 The data clearly shows there are more good men being ignored by good women than vice versa. It’s not even close to an even divide.

@bradwhitt6768 2 жыл бұрын

@@snoozyq9576 If women went for great men all the time why is the divorce rate 50% and why do women initiate 70-80% of them... I'll wait for an answer.

@shia4459 2 жыл бұрын

@@bradwhitt6768 you are talking as if the one that didn't get choosen are all good ones.

@rachels2568 2 жыл бұрын

I struggle so much with this. I married someone because they had great qualities and were a good person. I realized after a few months of living together just how different we were and how many of my needs weren’t being met. We tried to work on things but we just fundamentally were not right together. I now worry that the same thing will happen, so I’m extra diligent when dating and it’s almost like I focus on what I don’t want, and if they have any of those things, they’re out. I’m realizing that everyone has something about them that I don’t like, so finding the things I can live with is the hard part. I keep expecting that when I find the “right” person, those things that bothered me about everyone else won’t bother me.

@bigbobabc123 2 жыл бұрын

You’ll never find the right person. Most married couples see themselves as life partners and aren’t in deep romantic love as time goes on. If you enjoy being around the person and they have good qualities, that should be enough.

@kdvwusm 2 жыл бұрын

Sadly it is true. In a marriage sex depletes. I remember being with someone for ten years and we had ZERO sex. I just wasn’t turned on at all. Idk if that is suppose to be normal now. Everyone else says sex just stops after a while which made me sad.

@bigbobabc123 2 жыл бұрын

@@kdvwusm I think Disney and Hollywood makes people feel bad. Look for a deep connection, not fleeting lust. A deep connection is extremely valuable

@maheen158 2 жыл бұрын

@@kdvwusm I’m not married so I don’t know if it’s true but how can it be true?! I’m sure sex doesn’t stop until you’re like 50 at least! If it stops before that then you’re probably married to the wrong person

@JillWhitcomb1966 2 жыл бұрын

@@kdvwusm I was married for 15 years, and we had sex at least every day. So, I can't speak for other couples, but if sex is a priority, then a couple makes time for it.

@K9_Queen 2 жыл бұрын

Your content should be played in junior high + high school + college. This stuff needs to be engrained early so that people can develop healthy mindsets when it comes to dating/choosing. This stuff is for people who truly want to be and or seek authentic connection. Thanks for your videos. They’re superb

@robertstone9988 2 жыл бұрын

I think a lot of people are brought up nowadays going way back into the 80s that they are special that they are just fine the way they are the world should have to accept them for the way they are. These people confidence was protected at all costs they went into the real world and it slapped them around in the face you're not entitled to that cheerleader you're not entitled to that handsome dentist who's driving the Mercedes you might have to change some things about your personality and your appearance if you want someone to accept you. Please raise the generation of narcissists to put their feelings above everything else and they feel their entitled to love your entitled to the girls / guy they want and when the delusion comes caving in their psyches are so weak it breaks them and makes them bitter hateful people because they still can't blame themselves for their bad life and they're dating issues call them red pill call them incels their people who can't see their own flaws and expect the most beautiful people on the planet with the most options to pick over all of those options and pick this narcissistic selfish entitled person. It's pure delusion and it's dangerous. I think it's important to tell middle schoolers High School you're entitled to nothing everything you get you will fight for and you will earn. This includes the affection of others and at some point you have to be honest with yourself and understand that everybody wants a Ferrari but there's only so many Ferraris to go around and you just may not be good enough for a Ferrari and you're not allowed to be bitter about it you're not allowed to hate people who can get Ferraris you need to drive your Honda and be happy you're not walking

@christinegeltner9729 2 жыл бұрын

Matt : You've finally crossed the line. You are now into sheer brilliance. As a fellow Brit, I felt so proud of you, as your words mixed and blended into my Sunday morning. Words to learn. To live by. To injest, and to invest in. And to become a part of our wisdom. Thank you. You grow wiser every day. And, thus, so do we.

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

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@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.

@sharonnorton-marshall5280 2 жыл бұрын

Matthew your heart centred radical approach now mirrors my own. Investing and being curious takes time; patience and dedication. People have so many challenges and variables; emotions. Its really not as easy as meeting and picking and expecting that person to be right for us. Accepting, growing, discovering is real relationship. Exploring what is going on for that person and being understanding and compassionate - being a safe zone for someone. That is relating - relationship. Thankyou as always.

@robdog4095 2 жыл бұрын

Attachment styles 101👍. I'm a fearful avoidant. Early childhood neglect and pushed away in adolescence by my parents. Mainly all conditional love was given rather than a pure demonstration of unconditional love. Im a full time Art teacher in a secondary school, and I happen to be introvert, so as you can imagine after a days work I am exhausted and need about 2 hours to myself to recharge. My ex was anxious attachment. And when I wasn't given the space to recharge and felt demanded, controlled to do things even though I was shattered after work I felt trapped and bad as my core wounds if I couldn't fulfill them. I wasn't able to spend as much time with her after work as I wanted, I would get panic attacks because I needed more alone time to recharge as an introvert. She said she needed more time with me even though we lived together. I took her on date days 3 days a week and did get up the evenings after work to chat with her each night. But she needed more time than I could give at that moment in time. I told her I will grow and I am a new teacher so I will be exhausted when I come home from work but in time it might get better. I blame myself for not being there for her more, but I have to also be compassionate with myself and seek a partner who isn't so demanding and is more compassionate and understanding of external work factors also.

@sharonnorton-marshall5280 2 жыл бұрын

@@robdog4095 try ‘Non Violent Communication’ by Marshall Rosenberg and maybe you can both get back on track 🥰

@zacharyhughes1114 2 жыл бұрын

This is a very truthful video to its core. I met my girlfriend with some varying differences although our core values intact. We couldn’t be happier, I get to truly be myself and a better version of myself.

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@dianepopnick5850 2 жыл бұрын

I never settled for anything in my life. Certainly would never settle in the dating world. I am happy staying single.

@AxelShepard 2 жыл бұрын

Well, I'm unhappy single but I know setteling would make it worse.

@maheen158 2 жыл бұрын

@@AxelShepard same!! 😂😩

@sherlainmiranda76 2 жыл бұрын

So happy single :) I’ve been in a relationship since I was 15 .. I’m 51. I happily retire lol

@Janz-jd1qd 2 жыл бұрын

But you are watching Matt Hussey, so you haven't totally given up on having a relationship🤣

@dianepopnick5850 2 жыл бұрын

I enjoy Matt Hussey advice but it doesn't only apply to relationships but life in general. Therefore, yes I am.done with relationships but not improving my life

@theundone777 Жыл бұрын

My core requirements are kindness, integrity (and follow-through), a generally calm demeanor (not angry) and open communications. As difficult as they are to find, I just can't imagine giving these requirements up.

@jazzyj4126 2 жыл бұрын

Settle for someone, because someone has to settle for you!

@IevaKambarovaite 2 жыл бұрын

That's so so true.. we may look at someone who is incredibly good at someone and we think they're *just naturally good at that* forgetting hours and hours of work it took to get there. Same as looking at two people that seem to be made for each other forgetting that it took them decades to get there *working together day and day as a team to build that relationship.*

@nephthaliecareen3242 2 жыл бұрын

We really are a generation that looks to have the "perfect" package from the beginning. Our mindsets are not constructed to "build" relationships, careers, etc. It was a great reminder that anyone/anything can be "IT" but only if we are willing to make it so.

@katehiebert1033 2 жыл бұрын

This gives me peace if I were to never accomplish all the things I want to do or never find that "one true love." Some people just simply do not draw that card in life. Learning to deal with it this way is so much healthier than trying to keep tirelessly searching for that perfect something that may never be found.

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@klauskleber3065 2 жыл бұрын

This video resonated with me a lot and it put words onto something I was missing in my life! The constant feeling of having wrongly settled for someone who isn’t perfect! I especially agree with the whole notion how toxic perfectionism is at filtering people in and out of one’s life. It creates great loneliness in ourselves believing it is our fault when we don’t find someone that is „right“ And yes it’s much more impressive what we build over time all the conflict and repair and understanding each other a little better every time becoming more tolerant and emphatic over time with our partner and our friends! I very much appreciate your new found perspectives @matthewhussey 🙏🏼👌🏼

@Love32377 2 жыл бұрын

That’s the problem. Too many ways to meet ppl and it makes it easier to have too many options. I’m trying but as a 45 yr old woman, it’s tough

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@lyricpdx 2 жыл бұрын

Mature, no nonsense material. Thank you, Matthew.

@kel1665 2 жыл бұрын

It’s easy to fall for someone ; sensible to be selective! The right person will be ‘balanced’. It’s fun to date, It’s good to be ‘selective’. Don’t waste your time with anyone that isn’t compatible. Time spent on the wrong person, is time lost for meeting the right person. Single is sensible! ; Until you find someone aligned with your values. ❤️

@jessicaderosa9625 2 жыл бұрын

I am 29, few months ago i started one of the most horrorific relationship i ever was in. I suffer psychologic and sexual violence, losed my job and contracted a neumonie from him that almost killed me and also losed my job because his gaslightong.He cheated the whole relationship. I moved on , and i am not traumatazed but i just realised that relationships as they are today does not worth my time. I do not want to have kids so i fell better alone doing all i want.

@tumbleweedconnection7906 2 жыл бұрын

2 different sayings come to mind that sort of contradict each other... 1) it's better to be alone than settle 2) everybody needs someone sometime

@eosdawn8360 2 жыл бұрын

Needing someone to comfort you and settling are two very different things though. When we're young we need the comfort of our parent, friends, lovers, anyone really could work. Settling is just settling. You don't even have to love the person to settle, or at least stay settled with that person after it wanes.

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.

@tumbleweedconnection7906 2 жыл бұрын

@@eosdawn8360 very true

@jenniferbyers1375 2 жыл бұрын

For anyone interested in learning further on this topic - I just read the book How Not To Die Alone. While I don’t agree with all the points / premises of the book, it does offer many valid practical tips that echo Matthew’s points in this video.

@annabellleenj 2 жыл бұрын

I am happy enough with my life as a single woman. Yes it would be nice to have someone to share it with. My fundamentals aren't that unrealistic. All I really want is someone honest, kind, and some kind of physical attraction.

@josephzsoka874 2 жыл бұрын

You keep stating WHAT YOU WANT...but what does the man want, and can you provide it... this is not shopping.

@annabellleenj 2 жыл бұрын

@@josephzsoka874 I get that, the point is to find someone who needs I match as well as them being able to match my needs. I do have alot of good qualities and alot to give to someone who is willing to give in return. I'm allowed to know what I want and ask for those things. I'm also allowed to walk away if my needs aren't being met and I've communicated that. I am happy enough on my own. The right one is going to be the right one for me as I am the right one for them.

@ShadowbannedAccount 2 жыл бұрын

I can guarantee you, what you want now is not what you wanted in your 20s. Also, you want men to have physical attraction for you? You're overweight. Not being overweight is like the first qualifier of a woman that a man will have. You automatically get kicked out if you don't meet it.

@josephzsoka874 2 жыл бұрын

@@ShadowbannedAccount the older and heavier these women get, the more they hike up their price...delusional !

@annabellleenj 2 жыл бұрын

I find it sad that you think honesty, kindness, and some physical attraction are too much to ask for. That you took the time to stalk my social media enough to know I'm overweight in the first place. I don't think you speak for every man on the planet to deside that because I don't meet your expectations I am somehow delusional for having my own expectations. I know I'm just wasting my time because obviously you are who you are and just want to cause discomfort in other people.

@Vanjuska0212 2 жыл бұрын

Ahhh Matthew, you are giving me headache, yet I know you re right again. I shouldnt wait for an ideal relationship, instead create one for myself.

@spiritofalaska 2 ай бұрын

being in your 40s and still being picky is wild 🤣 if a man even glances at you you should be happy

@tubestar96 2 жыл бұрын

it is really funny how videos like this always imply you meet many people interested in you in the first place ..

@maheen158 2 жыл бұрын

THIS! i barely meet one semi-interested guy a year! But my desperate ass scares him off and then I spend the rest of the year trying to get over him 😂

@elenaisupova9052 2 жыл бұрын

@@maheen158 😁

@yummdiddy 2 жыл бұрын

Most people are not settling, they are getting exactly what they deserve, but their ego won’t accept it. If you only ever get 5s, it’s probably because only 5s are attracted to you, because you’re a 5. Also, when you get into a relationship, stay off social media. You’re going to just sit around composing your life to the life of people that only show the wins.

@ShadowbannedAccount 2 жыл бұрын

Facts. This is so true. This mostly applies to women.

@jjc2323 2 жыл бұрын

Why I left the dating apps. Was on for several years with no luck because I find most do not want to invest and/or they are stuck on an ex (not ready to be your partner). Joined Its Just Lunch. Met someone and working on building something with him and him with I. And agree with this video. You have to build - together. I don’t believe it love at first sight. That’s just infatuation. Work on yourself to be ready for this person to build with. Good luck to all

@McLenachek 2 жыл бұрын

So I met this really nice guy like 2 month’s ago. He treats me so well, that I’m somehow scared off. He tells me that he misses me, he takes care of me when I’m not feeling well, cooks for me, already told me that he would love to have a family… I know this is probably how it should be, I’m just not used to be treated like that. How can I make myself just enjoy his company and stop feeling sceptical about it? I mean I’m 33, he is 24, I taught at first this could be an issue, but he seems pretty mature for his age and very very kind…

@hm2011100 2 жыл бұрын

This happened to me - age gap & all! I’d say the solution is spiritual practice to feel at peace w yourself - I don’t think it has anything to do w him - so you can receive his love.

@leedlbagginshield8492 8 ай бұрын

update?

@amalbaba6678 2 жыл бұрын

I was just thinking about this today. When should i stop looking and settle. Ur video is just in time. Amazing as always Matthew

@Philphil2024 2 жыл бұрын

Same here 😂

@reflectonwhatsgoodm4980 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly It’s so true I’m soon settling with my Egyptian prince 🤴 on the white horse ♥️

@josephzsoka874 2 жыл бұрын

you're not settling, you are accepting what is already at your level... your looking for a unicorn, they don't exist, which is why your still looking.

@Predictable1 2 жыл бұрын

@@josephzsoka874 that's not true. I refused to do that for years! I've always been sure that I would have an easier time staying single forever than settling, and then... I met the kind of person I wanted in my life, and luckily, this person wanted me too. This would have never happened if I would've accepted whoever man was available before. However, we (women) have to make peace with the idea of staying single for a very long time, maybe even for the rest of our lives because there's no guarantee that we'll meet this special person, but I think once we manage to be ok with this idea, there's no way we'll be ok with settling. Of course we still have to make efforts, continue meeting new people, etc... I'm not saying we should do absolutely nothing and expect him to magically show up at our door, that's also not how healthy relationships develop, but there should only be space in our lives for someone who deserves to be in it, nothing less.

@asmamalik1986 4 ай бұрын

@@Predictable1I met somone so nice and gentle and we have the same values in life and same goals but he lacks humour, he doesn't joke around at all, and for me i am the kind of person that values humour in all my relationship and friendship, i throw jokes all day long and i feel so bad idk if i should stop the relationship bc of this 😢 Any advice on this

@yolopatts1519 2 жыл бұрын

Dear Matthew, I hope you can make another video about handling emotions when your ex finds someone better. You have a video about that when you asked a male audience but that isn't kind of clear so I or we (in the same situation as me) would love to hear about it again.

@verycherry4459 2 жыл бұрын

I think it's not only the grass might be greener elsewhere and disqualifying the person you're with by seeking out their flaws but then there are some people who want to move the goal posts to qualify the person they are with to allow them to be with them in a more serious committed relationship if the person improves and does this (whatever that is to fix perceived flaw(s)) and then when they meet that, the goal post is moved further away, never really quite qualifying the person or making the commitment to them and keeping the door partway open so they don't miss the opportunity of someone better coming along.

@franciscohava3849 2 жыл бұрын

This video is incredible! Wish he had more videos for men to learn and gain perspective on how to build meaningful and healthy relationships too.

@anastasiab9506 2 жыл бұрын

It's pretty simple- if life with the person is better than the life without him/her, than you should spend your time working on it (and i don't mean if they financially support you, that's not love, that's something else). At the same time if the "boxes" that the person doesn't have checked off piss you off or make you suffer, move on. Most of the people especially after 30 do not change, you will just be wasting time.

@mastergwada6974 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.

@jlina Жыл бұрын

That is actually genius and probably better than the whole video!

@patfowler5044 2 жыл бұрын

I am settling on a man due to the lack of opportunities out there currently, turning 42 and having been single for over 12 years, I met a guy who I'm not totally attracted too, but he has what will make me happy. Hopefully I will find him attractive in time, but he makes me happy currently.

@mastergwada6974 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@bambooforrests 2 жыл бұрын

He may not be totally attracted to you, either.

@nadasabir8022 Жыл бұрын

Wow !! Just wow !! I wish there was more of Matthew hussey out there!!! It’s like he reads my mind … I’m gonna be single forever unless I were to find his brain clone 😩

@amalbaba6678 2 жыл бұрын

This video is soooo made for me right now. U helped me in a big dilemma.

@MHGKarma 2 жыл бұрын

I feel like I end up settling because i get love bombed. I cant seem to see past the manipulation tactics and the insincerity until Ive committed too much of myself already. :( now I am 35 and I worry about being able to start a family - I feel like its so unfair that women have a time schedule to commit to when it comes to who they will start a family with, and I think that men are aware of this and use this.

@rogerhuggettjr.7675 2 жыл бұрын

I am a Christian that believes that the rapture could happen at any time. That gives a unique perspective. I both believe that life as we know it can change drastically in an instant, so I need to be conscious of my priorities and moral impact on others' lives, but also knowledge that death doesn't end everything. That after the second coming those that died will return with Christ and I'll have all the time in the world to see Paris or Rome. I think that's a healthy balance between responsibility to make life count and a patience that it doesn't have to all happen now.

@thecultofjohnnydelr.soulsw7010 Жыл бұрын

LUST to LOVE has a giant chasm stretch for most who leap at it rushing in without thinking or impulsively not working on what is at hand.

@victoriadaoana3055 Жыл бұрын

I broke up with this playboy who cheated on me all the times and lies..so I got away from him for I don't deserve this disrespect, he did to me,I cut off everything to him and I will go online dating soon to forget him.

@azurerayhealing2264 2 жыл бұрын

You've nailed this. The depth of wisdom and intention behind this entire video is something every human in search of true relationship could benefit from. I've always loved your content and approach to communication and I feel this is an elevated discussion, a maturing of what fulfillment means, especially considering where we find find ourselves today in the dating realm. Well done for sharing this with so much clarity. Deep appreciation. 🙏

@jessicalorraine3447 2 жыл бұрын

Amazing to me how so many people have the same exact question right now. I appreciate the video, I definitely needed this. He fills all the boxes I couldn’t find before but I had before that he does not have and that’s the difficult part. To tell if it’s better without having certain things

@kdvwusm 2 жыл бұрын

I am usually the one trying to understand and learn but most people will just leave as soon as one argument occurs. Most people won’t listen to you and try to learn. It is because of options sadly. Idk

@twistedstoic 2 жыл бұрын

Not necessarily because of options, some people just give up easily on other people. I'm sure eventually you'll find someone who will see you for you!

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.

@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 жыл бұрын

Some relationships are really bad and people find it hard to leave.....time is wasted and the inner battle of going back and forth debating with ourselves is really tiring🥴 and consuming.....why can't we just say 'I'm out'

@Beccanator007 2 жыл бұрын

My partner says “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.”

@TqSNv9R0iG5Ckxew 2 жыл бұрын

The only winning move is to refuse to play

@Annamelese 2 жыл бұрын

Well said 💯

@aaryakhandelwaal 2 жыл бұрын

This is such a nice video. Usually we see people waiting for the one but this motivates us to create the one as there could be many possible the ones.. whatever you put your heart and soul into becomes the one!!!

@Dee-jc2qo Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for this. Didn’t realize I’ve been doing all these,hence why I’m single.

@philipcallado5693 Жыл бұрын

I’m in a situation right now where there’s a couple of girls I’m involved with. Both are really cool, sweet, fun and beautiful. But while one is better “on paper” in terms of being closer in age, having a more stable financial situation and proximity wise, my recent attempts to move things along have been met with frigidity, and therefore I’ve basically given up on any possibility of anything with her. The other girl is younger (bigger age gap), isn’t as financially secure (although she still works quite a bit) and lives further away, but there’s more potential for something to happen with her. That’s the thing: one person may be a better fit in theory, but it comes down to connection and who’s more willing to make something happen with you. It takes two to tango, or build a castle. 😉

@Incognit0777 2 жыл бұрын

I so want to send this to the girl I talked to for a month before she decided that we should stop talking due to my oversharing of my intimate past. This absurd thing killed our connection and 2 people who were passionate about each other had to end their great bond. This was my first falling in love, I was obsessed with her even though I never got to meet her in person, and when I told her that afterwards when I tried to fix things, she said it was mutual, but I know that we both needed to work on it so that we can build a relationship, and it was no longer the same, so we had to drop it. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still moving on from a person I never met...

@aglover360 2 жыл бұрын

I was emotionally unhealthy at the beginning of my relationship and unfortunately it caused me to be kind of unpredictable and hurtful. I feel terrible, but I have gotten better. My only issue now is that I sometimes try and say how I feel by saying “you shouldn’t do this” or “it hurts me to see people being affectionate to their girlfriends”, or “this isn’t normal” rather than actually saying how I feel. Other times I say my feelings correctly. He’s been distant and unwilling to take care of things that are important to me and that only makes me complain, but I’m wondering if I had been easier to love if we would even have that problem. I’m not sure if I would prioritize or love me if I was in his shoes either.

@JoleenSmith-xk2xv Жыл бұрын

Matthew, that was amazing. You hit the nail right on the head and made the whole "settling" issue so clear. Game changer for me as I look to start a new relationship. 🙌🏻

@maheen158 2 жыл бұрын

My personal fundamental is hygiene. I CANT be with a man who doesn’t take care of himself. If he doesn’t trim his nails regularly, doesn’t brush his hair, doesn’t smell good, doesn’t wash his clothes, it’s all a HUGE turn off for me 🤮

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@johnsmith2221 2 жыл бұрын

Sounds reasonable

@awkward291 2 жыл бұрын

Aaaand… I’m crying 🥺 this is so beautifully put. Thank you

@xantipa84 2 жыл бұрын

I just deleted a comment I made yesterday. Because of the creepy spammers with supposed friends and whatsapp numbers of their therapists who helped them. This is getting really out of hand, dear KZbin. There`s got to be a better solution than us users having to report these creeps` comments over and over again.

@asmamalik1986 4 ай бұрын

I met somone so nice and gentle and we have the same values in life and same goals but he lacks humour, he doesn't joke around at all, and for me i am the kind of person that values humour in all my relationship and friendship, i throw jokes all day long and i feel so bad idk if i should stop the relationship bc of this 😢

@vanessaberry980 2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant video! 👏 I believe it's one of your best. Thank you helping us look at things from a different perspective 💕

@taleibarber3110 2 жыл бұрын

This just happened to me. He wanted to go out with me again, but immediately updated his photo on a dating site and said he would ‘keep me in the loop’ on what happened. When I said that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t want to know how his search was going, he ghosted me.

@saratiee6514 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Matthew for all the effort, love and due diligence towards serving people. Thank you for being a role model for many 😊🥰

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@vernvilar6922 2 жыл бұрын

Compassion to make space for each other's flaws, yeah, good one. I don't need to be taught all the time or shown a lesson and make it all harder that it already is.

@mariac6280 2 жыл бұрын

I'd rather go out to meet people. easier for me. I'm not comfortable using dating apps. never tried either. I'm cool with putting myself out there.

@johnelahad721 2 жыл бұрын

When the camera initially zoomed out I genuinely thought Matt had no pants on for a second

@debracrawford2906 2 жыл бұрын

"Till death do us part" is a lot longer than you think. No, no relationship is perfect. But if you you have asked yourself if this is THE one, I'm guessing they are not. I'm not saying there isn't more than one person for everyone... I'm saying if you are even questioning if you are settling in your relationship, you are not ready for "to death do us part".

@mastergwada6974 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.

@AnnMoses 2 жыл бұрын

I can't stop watching you Matthew, you practically give me message all the way thank you for this opportunity bless.

@Jessiethegirl23 2 жыл бұрын

Whoa. You are in the ZONE on this video.

@haylee.strange 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for offering a unique perspective that is balanced and full of wisdom.

@haylee.strange 7 ай бұрын

I think it would be very beneficial to others to have an in depth video about the toxicity of FOMO and how to overcome it.

@MaxYsdohegal Жыл бұрын

When you feel you are settling with someone, be aware he has to do it too because every person has flaws. Some woman a just lazy and put zero effort into finding and maintainig a relatioship. It takes work and effort and it is rewarding. The most beautiful and satisfying things in life take effort und patience (children, friends etc)

@sandyyang33 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for such a beautiful summary of the dating situation. You’ve always been inspiring. ❤

@zitttu 2 жыл бұрын

I tried to listen to this in the podcast and could just not focus, much easier here, thanks

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.

@biljam972 Жыл бұрын

Most people aren't even trying. The first tiniest obstacle and they are out, while some just half-assing dating because they think they have hundreds of other options so why bother? It's awful, much more than 20-30 years ago when we didn't have so many "options". I dated guys who literally blocked me the first time I said something they didn't like or guys who really tried not to invest ANYTHING, like I had to drag them on dates, to ask them to go out "pretty please", to try to make them feel nice on dates etc. It's exhausting, at this point, I just give up!

@dbunnysport 2 жыл бұрын

This is so lovely. I would like to listen to this over and over.

@hildautria3851 2 жыл бұрын

WOW! YOU ARE A TRUE BLESSING..THIS TOPIC IS SO NEEDED!

@nininixx6458 2 жыл бұрын

This is one of your best videos of all time. Thanks for that!

@anamariaflecha2522 2 жыл бұрын

Probably your best video Matthew. ❤️

@ligayamarilag8069 Жыл бұрын

It's choosing process in relationship and have commitment to her partner thanks for this topic

@siddhartha_1 2 жыл бұрын

It's not true that everyone can meet tons of compatible people with apps. Depends on where one lives (rural vs urban), family goals (wanting kids or not), one's attractiveness, age, and other factors.

@Wheng015 2 жыл бұрын

Mathew i think im in love and im happy for what i feel now its magic!

@zhennilin5794 2 жыл бұрын

Amazing Matthew ! Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom

@vickir1868 2 жыл бұрын

wow what a great video! makes so much sense, I will be watching this one several times. Love the way you explain along with your analogies ☺️

@MetalCooking666 10 ай бұрын

My problem is not so much FOMO but more that girls I’m physically attracted to either mess me about or turn out to be mental (eg by getting jealous over female friends who I’ve known for years). I’ve tried settling for girls I’m not really attracted to for the sake of being with *someone*, but it never works as they can tell my heart’s not in it.

@Sams911 2 жыл бұрын

the concept of "settle" for women today, in the world of online dating, and swipe right on "Chad" or die isn't what it's been for the remainder of human history... women today have become extremely fickle and the "Average" guy literally has no chance.. it's broken.

@puffsleeveskindagirl 2 жыл бұрын

You outdone yourself Matthew!! Best video ever. ❤ I've just seen the movie 'I give it a year' and it's a great example of this. I highly recommend as a complementary to this video! Very useful and entertaining too 😊

@Anne-qy4ku 2 жыл бұрын

Where did you watch the movie?

@puffsleeveskindagirl 2 жыл бұрын

Netflix NZ

@Billionaires_Muslimmotivation 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for helping sooooo many women out. Even us Muslim Girls need more of this kind of education

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@cocotulle23 2 жыл бұрын

After this it doesn’t make sense to me why anyone would want to get married at all… I’ve been happily single my whole life and just started actively dating about a year ago. I figured I’d see if I might be interested in what everyone is looking for. But, if we don’t have a perfect soulmate out there, why not just enjoy your freedom, flexibility, and independence, and enjoy the extra time you have for friendships and hobbies? There’s clearly something “wrong” with me. 😅 I truly dont understand why so many people seek a life partner, but I’m trying to understand.

@daubeny6796 2 жыл бұрын

Because the soulmate is a lie. Relationships are tough but if you make them work they’re rewarding. Is as simple as that. High risk, lots of work, high reward. People seek for that high reward because they look at that old loving couple and think “I want that” People who had good parents that loved each other look at them and think “I want that” Because that certainty that you’re all that a person desires and that you’re the priority of that person while there are so many other out there feels like a constant boost. Where do you think the phrase “What did I ever do to deserve you?” Comes from? Of course it’s not easy. And the current state of dating doesn’t help. But people want it.

@luciasanchez865 2 жыл бұрын

Because being single for your whole life is financially almost impossible for most people, and increasingly so. After all, marriage was always an economic institution. Also, if you ever want children of your own (and when I say "you" I am always referring to a hypothetical person for the sake of the argument), you need someone else to do so, and some kind of agreement will need to exist between the two e.g., marriage. So I think the reasons for getting married are fairly obvious, but of course some people have a higher salary than average and not everyone wants children, so for them it can be just a hassle.

@steampunkwilly115 2 жыл бұрын

I always like to say, you're not shopping for your dream home. But rather, you are shopping for the foundation on which to build your dream home.

@marilynoverton8142 2 жыл бұрын

Such a great video, Matthew! Thank you! I'd love a higher volume, if possible.

@daniellematos 2 жыл бұрын

This is one of your best videos ever 🤩 loved it! Thank you 💖

@RommanysWorld 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Matthew for relationship videos. I appreciate you!

@bluerain369 2 жыл бұрын

How gorgeous is this man... I cannot focus...

@denissegarcia4969 Жыл бұрын

This was eye opening, thank you SO much!

@nisvetaninalang 2 жыл бұрын

No, we can not meet people online. We can at most hear them, but we can really get to know each other only offline - real meeting happens only in real life outside the apps and internet.

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@bebidoll3738 2 жыл бұрын

I wanted to make someone the one who didn‘t respect me and didn‘t even have the universal fundamental „traits“ which respect is one of the most important, uf nit the mist important trait, so now I am forced to let that go?

@heatherberry01 2 жыл бұрын

We value what we invest in. Meaning and fulfillment flows where our investment goes. this!! 🤓👌🏽

@margaretahogberg6869 2 жыл бұрын

You are so true about it all You told me about, I have send this video to a lot of my friends who seems to think The Grass Is Greener on the other lane, so to speak. Thank You for your great videos 👍🥰👌😁🤗💞

@creativeopinions8250 2 жыл бұрын

Matthew how did you meet/select your partner? I'm curious...

@maazubash5056 2 жыл бұрын

Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

@caoilin3 2 жыл бұрын

Fantastic video! It really spoke to me. I actually watched it twice in a row!

@elskar1 2 жыл бұрын

I love your wise analysis!

@sweetdiv07 2 жыл бұрын

One question- Is there a nice way for us to decide how we can choose someone is worth to be invested in?

@Wormwoodification 2 жыл бұрын

This is a lovely concept.

@curlymixednezz 2 жыл бұрын

This is one of the most profound videos you've released... thank you for sharing... I downloaded the book you recommended at the start of the video, can't wait to indulge!