5 Tips For Being An Ally

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Stuff mentioned in this video:
29 States Can Legally Fire You For Being Gay
www.upworthy.com/29-states-can...
State Employment Laws And Policies
hrc-assets.s3-website-us-east-...
34 States Can Legally Fire You For Being Trans
www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06...
What's with the Macklemore joke?
Stop telling queer people to be grateful for Macklemore
feminspire.com/stop-telling-qu...
Macklemore issues sort of apology for accidental Jewish costume
www.stereogum.com/1682544/mack...
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Resources for allies:
Getting Called Out: How To Apologize
• Getting Called Out: Ho...
White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh
nymbp.org/reference/WhitePrivi...
The Angry Eye - Blue Eye Brown Eye experiment
• Video
A Powerful Lesson About Privilege
www.buzzfeed.com/nathanwpyle/t...
Managing Privilege
www.upworthy.com/shut-the-fck-...
10 things allies need to know
everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/t...
Derailing for dummies
www.derailingfordummies.com/
Resources for straight or cisgender people:
Queer 101: www.roostertailscomic.com/comi...
White anti-racism: living the legacy
www.tolerance.org/supplement/w...
10 Simple Ways White People Can Step Up to Fight Everyday Racism
everydayfeminism.com/2014/09/n...
GLAAD's resources for allies
www.glaad.org/resources/ally
Transwhat? tips for allyship
transwhat.org/allyship/
10 reasons to give up ableist language
www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-...
Colorlines
colorlines.com/
Melissa Harris Perry Black Feminism syllabus
www.msnbc.com/melissa-harris-p...
How to be a male feminist ally
feministcurrent.com/7988/how-t...
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
This video features royalty free music from the KZbin music library
kzbin.info...
Let's keep in touch!
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Website | franchesca.net
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[@eunicen5427]

"An ally wouldn't be the lead singer, or the second lead singer - they'd be Michelle" 😂😂😂 that had me dead. Great video explaining everything so well.

[@ebonypost4982]

That was where I fainted!!!

[@kathyblanchard4037]

In 1977 I read an eye opening book called Black Like Me, it rocked me to my core. I have strong empathy for others and I fight hard for what I believe in. My granddaughter is learning about the civil war, civil rights in school. I tell her imagine what it would be like to be ripped from your family, treated like an animal and sold and never see your family again, to always have to live with that. I have ordered the book for her to read. It's important to me that she understands how deep and far back the pain goes, and the struggle still remains. I constantly educate myself, make sure what I say is not offensive, and that she know how the color of white skin is an unfair advantage, which should not be!!

[@joelgraham3]

This is a good video. Being an ally can get tricky sometimes - it can make people defensive or feel defeated (that has happened to me) but she does a great job explaining the situation and even says that allies should get right back up and carry on. This house cannot be built in a vacuum - allies have always been part of getting the job done and will always play a critical role. That said, she explains it nicely and I liked how she described staying "in your lane." There's no reason to watch this video and feel threatened- just like there's no reason to feel threatened when you begin to absorb the concept of privilege. She's trying to help - not put people off. Just take it in - relax - think - and move foreword.

[@heyitsmorgannerdz]

People kill me picking and choosing what they want to hear. She's not saying ALL OF YOU NEED TO BE ALLIES AND FEEL GUILTY! She's saying IF you want to be an ally for a cause you DO NOT DEAL WITH PERSONALLY, here are some good ideas on how to do it right. All of you just coming to comment without even listening to the video and just trying to be on some devil's advocate BS can have ALL THE DAMN SEATS.

[@abctutnichtweh1]

+MorgieB stop triggering me

[@jesush4366]

Michael Schultz needs your attention. Why aren't you giving it to him? :(

[@chescaleigh]

I find it quite telling that some people are assuming this video specifically targets one group of people. If you watch this video and assume it's about you when I've never said anything about a specific type of person, try giving it another watch and see if you can point out where you're mentioned.

[@theopennetworkenterprise2860]

Your links specifically target and generalize White Males internationally as ignorant, privileged and/or bigoted, that by itself is blatantly racist, but it also implies that your video is targeting and generalizing the same group. Bigotry is counter productive to the unity that is needed to bring about real change in the world. Activism is a numbers game, and alienating people that are just trying to help is a ridiculous and selfish approach to making progress.

[@chescaleigh]

***** None of the links "target" anyone.

[@samuelprice4019]

***** First I want to say that I don't want to make my voice heard over anyone, and I am sorry if I say something that is incorrect or out of place. I also do not know who you are as a person, and can't assume that you are white or male. Lastly, As a white person, I do not want to make it seem that I have to stand up for People of Color because they can not do it themselves. I think that I should put my time and energy into commenting because I feel that when people get targeted or oppressed daily, they should not have to also spend time educating everyone around them. If I said anything offensive or incorrect, I am sorry and please correct me. Chescaleigh never uses the words white or male, and when talking about privilege, and uses her cis( identifying with the gender you were born with) identity as an example.I as a white male have a ton of privilege. This video is made to do the opposite of isolate people. It is showing how people can successfully help any group who is facing discrimination. I think it is wrong to assume that because chescaleigh is a Woman of Color, she must be targeting and being aggressive towards white men, a group that is explicitly and implicitly responsible an insane amount of racial oppression and sexism in America. People of Color can care about other issues besides race, and I think assuming this video is about race simply because Chescaleigh is black delegitimizes her voice and opinion in activist spheres.This leads into my next point, which is that a person who is being oppressed and marginalized can not be racist. Racism means discriminating and benefitting from the subjugation of another people by race ( my own definition). ""When a group of people has little or no power over you institutionally, they don't get to define the terms of your existence and they can't limit your opportunities"- Tim Wise

[@theopennetworkenterprise2860]

Samuel Price Actually, despite what you might think or have made up entirely, the most accurate definition of racism is prejudice based solely on race, whether favourable or unfavourable. That is why even positive stereotypes can be offensive. I have never seen a single credible definition of racism as being specific to a singular race or situation in my entire information addicted life, probably because that would itself ironically be racist. I am not personally offended, but my logic and desire for unity and equality amongst the disillusioned worldwide prevents me from not commenting. Furthermore, if you think White people are not (ever) oppressed, even in the US, then you need to do more research on the racial backgrounds of ethnic and panethnic groups worldwide.

[@clearwaterlakota8405]

***** - You make a good point, although I tend to think of racism along the lines defined by Samuel Price. As a straight white male who grew up never knowing poverty, I see examples of my privilege every day. It's built in to my reality to the point where I can empathize with people who fail to see such privilege. Fish may not recognize that they're in water if they've never been outside of it. Ideally, we move beyond categories to a general recognition of the fact that none of us has any real clue what it's like to be anyone else. Everyone's experience of existence is subjective and unique. If we honored this about one another, there would be no judgment or discrimination.

[@AarontheArtist57]

Thank you for this specific definition of "privilege", especially the part about "it doesn't mean your life hasn't been hard", because that's usually the point that people misunderstand about privilege.

[@chescaleigh]

yup! i've heard that enough that i made sure to call that out first and foremost

[@catherinehume9193]

This is assuming all Black people have the same thoughts, all gay people have the same thoughts, so being an ally means treating all Black people and all gay people as though we have the same thoughts and life and experiences, and we don't. Be a friend instead.

[@laneatkinson6441]

No one will want to be your ally if you belittle them like that.

[@ohwellyeah2]

I think another really important point is that being an ally doesn't make you a part of the marginalized group you're trying to help. This seems to be an attitude mostly toward the LGBTQIA+ group - allies thinking that they belong in the community instead of just as a support for the community. Going along with your building a house metaphor, if you help your friend build a house, you don't then get to live in it if it's not your house. If I, as a straight, cis, white girl, help out the LGBTQIA+ or POC communities, I'm not a part of those communities. I'm just doing my best to support them.

[@chescaleigh]

Corinne S YESSS! Just cause you helped build it, doesn't mean you live there! LOVE THAT

[@michaelphillips2135]

yes yes thank you!!

[@JakobJakobsonTheEgg]

Excellent video! I absolutely love how you truly are willing to listen to others who are oppressed in ways you aren't. Not a whole lot of cis straight people are willing to do that. As for myself, I think you pretty much covered it. Over the past few years I have learned and unlearned so much to become more caring as a person and a better ally and my journey is of course ongoing. Just knowing when to shut up and listen is one of the most valuable skills a person can have.

[@chescaleigh]

Jakob Jakobson trust, i'm working to educate my community and encourage them to listen as much as possible. too often i find myself shaking my head like "noooo cis people shut up and listen damnit!" lol and you're right, UNLEARNING is hard. it's funny how much we ingest from the world around us that we don't even realize is harmful or has been engrained in us. I think that's what hardest for people who want to change, they're like "but but i'm a good person and i didn't even know X was bad!" the moment of taking those blinders off is kinda scary and confusing, but wanting to do the work is the first step and can go a long way. thanks for being part of the conversation and wanting to do the work!

[@MarkFlavin1]

Thanks for the tips I know I want to help support efforts to extend equality but I am also poignantly aware how my best intentions could be damaging to the causes I want to support. These guidelines have given me a lot to think about and I really appreciate the links and information. :)

[@daniellegiorgini8669]

I love this video! I think its very important to be an ally and its super important to know how to be one. I agree that you need to understand your privilege; "before i can fight for the rights of others, i have to understand what rights i have, and others don't" - i find this very accurate, as i didn't used to truly understand what "privilege" meant, and now knowing i find that it has helped me to view what may seem to be mundane issues, more macroscopically and seeing them from a view point of everyone, and anyone who could be oppressed by it.

[@qwertydeluxe]

"Ally is a verb, not a noun." A concise and elegant rule!

[@Sirrahlala]

Great job pointing out that it's possible for racial minorities and LBGTQ to have certain types of privilege, so it is not strictly about cis straight white people. I'm a cis black gay man and I don't have to deal with a lot of things trans people have to struggle with. Therefore it's still possible for me to be transphobic/transmisogynist or just a bad trans ally. That doesn't mean I don't have my own struggles, just that I shouldn't be ignorant about other people and should strive for Better for Everybody.

[@chescaleigh]

thanks! I really wanted to make this general so it didn't point out a specific type of privilege. I try to use myself as an example as much as possible to help people be more receptive to understanding.

[@michaelphillips2135]

chescaleigh loved the video. you're so sweet and photogenic!

[@jenniemontano164]

At Genentech I am part of a Professional Womens group in my organization. Yesterday, we had an event at work titled “How to be an Ally” this video was shared by my colleagues. We had some great conversations about how to stand up for each other in the face of unacceptable behavior and micro aggressions. I love that we are open to having these conversations and holding each other up. Everyone deserves a safe space to work, to live to love.

[@quqbalam5089]

My answers to these tips: 1. Yes, privilege includes being rich. Saying that's not privilege shows just how little you care about the poor, the marginalized and the oppressed. 2. If you actually do your homework, you would find out just how little such problems like poverty and unemployment have to do with sexual identity. Even proportionally speaking homosexuals live better than "heterosexuals". "Trans" may have it worse, but if anything, it seems that it is poverty that makes people take a transsexual identity instead of transsexuals being poor for discrimination against them. 4. Is it a "mistake" for LGBT organizations like the Human Rights Campaign, the premiere LGBT organization of the United States, to support every war the US has started, like the Iraq War? Why haven't they apologized for it then? 5. Why is it then that LGBT organizations barely do anything for the poor, the unemployed and for those suffering from state violence? Why do they only talk about "rights"?

[@rachelrichardson8809]

+Quq Balam PREACH there's so much stuff she said that either didn't make sense or plain dumb.

[@makingbabytaylor]

Being rich is absolutely a privilege, but so many people seem to equate "privilege" only with being rich/not having to work hard/being handed things etc. So they either stop listening, get defensive, things like that. You (figurative you) can be poor, but still have other privileges: whether that because you're white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male, any combo of those things... Most people are privileged in at least one area, but can also be in other marginalized groups at the same time. So like she said she is cisgendered and heterosexual, so she has those privileges, but she is also a woman of color and has to deal with discrimination and injustice because of those things. It has much more to do with what you don't have to experience or worry about than what you have or don't have.

[@quqbalam5089]

MakingBabyTaylor Poverty takes whatever privileges you may have. That's something that current liberals don't get, and that's why asking for White, "heterosexual" and "cisgender" poor people to take account of their "privilege" is the worst you can do.

[@makingbabytaylor]

Quq Balam I've lived most my life under the poverty line, but still experienced a lot of privilege because of the injustices I have not had to endure. Nice try, though.

[@quqbalam5089]

MakingBabyTaylor Yes, I must take your anecdotal evidence at face value. Look, it's true that Whites tend to live better in the US in comparison to non-Whites, but the point here is that the woman in the video argues that poverty is unimportant, which is the worst thing you can say.

[@KaiserFailed]

I am a gay male, and I am trying really hard to understand the life of a transgendered/transexual person. I feel like the "T" part of "LGBTQ" tends to be overlooked, so I am doing my part when it comes to educating myself. You mentioned resources, and one of the best resources are here on KZbin! You, for being a curator for social issues, and people like KatBlaque and GigiGorgeous help me understand things that I still don't. It's great. Thanks for this video

[@chescaleigh]

KaiserFailed you're very right, the T often gets left out. I've also recently learned that the A, which stands for asexual often gets overlooked. Heck, it's not even included most times! thanks for doing the work to learn and better yourself! that means so so much!

[@SarcasticZombii]

chescaleigh The 'a' also stands for aromantic and ace + aro spectrum orientations, who get ignored and overlooked as well! =)

[@sheyennehansen44]

As a trans man I'd like to let you know, it's not "transgendered" it's "transgender" leave off the "ed" and please stay away from the word "transexual". Only use it if you are taking about a trans person who has said they use that word. Please don't use it for every transgender person. And the "A" in Lgbtqia+ can also be used for "agender".

[@myszka007]

chescaleigh same thing goes for bisexuals - not only there's large bi-erasure going on in the straight community, but we also get frequently shunned by the LG community as well, being told that either we're greedy, unfaithful sluts or that we just pretend to like the opposite gender because we're too afraid to come out as fully gay. If I got a dollar for every comment I read, written by a gay and/or lesbian saying that they'd never date a bisexual guy and/or girl, I'd be so rich I wouldn't have to work for the rest of my life. So there. :/

[@chescaleigh]

myszka007 sadly, i've witnessed that as well.

[@MrLarrBear101]

As a gay young adult . . .this for some reason made me cry thank you for the cry video

[@chescaleigh]

***hugs***

[@jongreen915]

oh look, how did I know this video was going to be about race... again. That already says a lot about you right there. In particular about how much you think about a race. Other people are able to go through in life without thinking about it, but you need to make everything about race. And if there's not an issue, you'll make one.

[@chescaleigh]

this video is about being an ally to marginalized people, which isn't confined to POC

[@mackalexis2494]

chescaleigh ooo franny, can you ever be wrong in your mind, praise the only women in the world who is always right and is the only one who can lead whites out of this ugly world of racism... if you didn't get if that was sarcasm and you don't need to say " I never said I'm always right" cause you don't need to say it when you already portray it

[@mOnStErSonfilm]

so if a white male father calls for you to be a ally.

[@mOnStErSonfilm]

and relaxing cat.NO. the alt right makes ONLY 13% of republicans and when compared to the nation at most 3%... that being generous.

[@petemclovins9166]

chescaleigh... there is a lot of Trump supporters living in trailer parks who felt marginalized by the Obama administration... does this video include them too?

[@yasinoori-bushehri911]

The "educating yourself" part of this video is gold. I'd like to add to it that reading fiction, especially own-voices fiction, is also another way to get educated. It does not all have to be straight, hard facts! We actually learn much better through the use of stories.

[@inlovewithJLT]

Recognizing trends helped me become an ally. When I would hear about an incident of aggression against a marginalized person I used to look at it as an individual incident. Once I saw that it was merely the latest in a long list of the same type of crime and that it wasn't being taken seriously I started to shape up.

[@chescaleigh]

inlovewithJLT oooh! this is such a great point that so many people fail to recognize. thank you!

[@inlovewithJLT]

chescaleigh Thank you for your videos! They are also a big help, honestly.

[@johnstoner2]

Yeah... I've been coming to think of these as 'my frostbite moments.' As in, 'frostbite' because the problem has been there all along, but it's just starting to bother me. And the pain is a good sign--it means I'm not gonna lose those fingers after all. And 'my' frostbite moments, because others have been feeling the pain all along. I'm curious, what do you think?

[@inlovewithJLT]

John Stoner That sounds very fitting

[@shinjinobrave]

inlovewithJLT I don't deny that there are systemic oppressions in the world, but I think it's dangerous to fit every single event that could fit into a category like that in such a narrative. I believe blacks are harassed more than others by police in the US and that this is a major problem, but this doesn't mean an isolated incident can't be an isolated incident. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Again, it's good to recognize trends, but always be careful that you don't a view as simplistic as your opponents'.

[@kenyaw5752]

You have done a great job explaining privilege and ally. Not in terms of race, but in general. This makes it accessible to those who are automatically against anything related to race relations.

[@chescaleigh]

Kenya W that was done very consciously ;)

[@energycounsellingandpsycho2936]

Thank you! Love this. What helps me be an ally most is listening. Hearing the pain and advocating so that my POC family don't have to do more emotional labour. But reading is also amazing. Audre Lorde and bell hooks are both essential reading.

[@RachiiDoodle]

I'm so glad you posted this video on Instagram recently, it hits home on every point and is super accessible to my friends who need to hear this. Thank you! x

[@creezhan]

THIS MUST. MUST. GO VIRAL. I WILL SHARE IT UNTIL IT DOES.

[@chescaleigh]

isobune aw thank you!

[@KateReadsBooks]

Thanks!

[@mythicmuse]

Well, I am super late to the table because I just now watched this AMAZING video for the first time and I just need to say THANK YOU so much, Chescaleigh. This is a fantastic resource that I am sure serves those who are willing to listen. I am absolutely appalled by the nasty, terrible, hateful, downright awful comments posted here by so many people. I literally was sitting here with my jaw dropped. Thank you, thank you, thank you

[@katefranta]

I love #5; you're right, being an ally is a verb.

[@MikeMayors]

That was probably the best definition of privilege I've ever heard from anyone, ever. At this point I think my gripe with the term wasn't the definition itself but how widely I've seen it abused (i.e. the things you called out in the beginning - rich, easy life, never working hard, generalizations and assumptions thrown at an individual). Thank you, the message of this video was very clear.

[@chescaleigh]

Ah! Hey Mike! Thanks!

[@ionlyfearphobophobia]

Her definition of privilege = the existence of Homeless and/or terminally ill privilege.

[@pastorkevin52]

Damn! You nailed this in under 4 min. It has been the big elephant in the room for me with well meaning people. They like to give a voice, and then they want to be the voice. As an advocate I'm learning myself how to listen more. As you said there are experiences some of us will never have but we can learn from others. Awesome video Chesca!

[@David_Creyke]

I'm really only able to ally myself with people that are self aware. You're so smug and certain of how ' right' you are, and I learned in my childhood to never listen to people like that.

[@jackbell7392]

I love how there's a cat blurred out in the background of the bottom right corner

[@chescaleigh]

it was a dog!

[@becathist]

No lies told. Being an ally means it is your duty to pass the mic to those who are more qualified to do the speaking. Love this video!

[@desdemona42]

Fantastic video again, Franchesca! You, Kid Fury, Crissle and lots of people I follow on Tumblr that are part of groups of people who face some kind of discrimination have really helped me open my eyes to privilege that I didn't know I had and to paraphrase Maya Angelou, now I know better, I do better. Thank you for continuing to give me things to think about that challenge the way I have perceived the world for far longer than I should have. You are an amazing teacher, thank you x

[@cabotlyford500]

I was at a gathering recently in which a black man conferred an unabashed, unconditional blessing and wish upon me, whereupon I deflected it with a friendly comment that got a laugh but had the effect of dismissing his authentic wish for me. I remember being slightly disturbed by the disappointed look on his face, but was not quick enough to catch it in the moment and dig a little deeper to express gratitude for his generosity, and even to offer a return blessing. It is a small thing in the total scheme, but for me significant because I think that living a privileged life as I have (I love Chescaleigh's definition of privilege!) has inured me to many things that I would rather be sensitive to. I am grateful to the present-day movements for change and reconciliation for providing context and emotional fuel for these kinds of inner inquiry. May we all be swept up in the beauty of this pivotal struggle and moment in human history...

[@Jretrenack]

I really appreciated this video and plan to use this in my classroom for all issues that need an ally! We say the word often and don't often explain what it means. Thanks.

[@davemarsteller8377]

I feel that this is possibly the clearest, most respectful, and most accessible explanation for being allied with, while being an ally to any group that anyone might not be directly a member of... Chescaleigh, GREAT JOB!!!!! :) (Not that you need me to tell you that--but it's just that sometimes--it's just nice to hear... and well... :) You're amazing! :) WOW! :)

[@maryjcarrell]

So, during this time it's always dangerous to read the comments. I'm glad that I did! You are eloquent and refined, have a clear view of how to help those who want to support/help and you're not afraid to brave the comments to help explain it all. This is the first I've seen of your work, I'm definitely going to subscribe! I like the term "Ally" in this case, and feel you give a structure to something which is a bit of a brave new world for some. For instance, even though I've been a strong supporter of several groups (LGBTQ, refugee, homelessness persons, etc), perhaps some of the way I've been supporting was in a way that some may feel were taking away from the main point which needs to be changed...like seeing the tree instead of the forest. You made a good case to step back, do research, and really see how your support can be the most effective without being pushy about it...OR making it about you instead of the group. So, thank you for giving this very relevant video to the world. I personally appreciate it.

[@chescaleigh]

Queenie yeah, comments can get rough around here lol this video has been pretty good so far, but you're smart to be cautious. thanks for watching and doing the work! welcome to the family ;)

[@thighgapproject7475]

I love these five points! Thank you for sharing!

[@Panwere36]

You cannot fix stupid, but you can fix hypocrisy, Franchesca. Just do it.

[@Panwere36]

Douglasalbert McC​, very interesting you pulled that out of your ass, seeing as my comment is ambiguous as to whom I am saying that about.

[@dorkabrain]

Loved the video setup/background, loved the pushy macklemore mario, loved the entire video!

[@chescaleigh]

dorkabrain thanks! I think think is gonna be my new filming spot. I like it

[@BenjaminAlexander]

I'm a tall white wealthy native-English-speaking college-educated able-bodied right-handed cis-het American male: a dirty(?) dozen. For sure, the best (easiest) privilege training for people like me is Jay Smooth's TedX at Hampshire College talk 'how to talk about race'. It covers how to translate the accusation "you are a racist" into "the thing you did or said was insensitive". Very useful! And anything else by Jay Smooth helps me. Chicken soup for the soul.

[@chescaleigh]

Benjamin Alexander Jay's the bomb!

[@BenjaminAlexander]

Something else that can help, I think... ncase.me/polygons/

[@Regroove]

Love this explanation, thank you for taking the time to break it down and make it fun. Sharing.

[@whyamialive7252]

Thanks for the fun and helpful video! It was put in a very easy to understand and digestible way, and I really appreciate you putting in the work to do so! I'll keep all of this in mind from now on

[@serrya69]

The word "privilege" always irked me. But no one described it the way you did. Thank you.

[@TheTyrellWellick]

Had to laugh hard at the Macklemore part!

[@biomistflorist658]

BassLlne haha, just threw the shade without hesitation!

[@myachamberlain4934]

Watching this in 2020. Thank you so much for this! I've been trying my best to be the best ally I can be for you all and educate myself. I appreciate you so much.

[@neilbarnwell]

Excellent video! On point 2, I think what stops a lot of people is that they are so easily triggered. It's almost natural to want to jump to your own defence with "yeah but...". Listening, means choking back that reaction, and giving the new ideas a chance for the flavour to come through before you start forming any kind of response, contrary or otherwise. Once you let yourself be triggered, you stop listening because you've moved into a defensive position, and nothing's getting through that.

[@nicoletaylor8398]

YOU SO GR9. Thanks for taking the time to educate. Unless they're my friends, I really don't have the energy to to be honest lol....

[@takaraonea]

the trip and fall "I'm back up!" so funny! love this video :)

[@0105Cheyenne]

Thank you so much for this clear summary and spreading the message, as well as sharing the sources you used in your research! It has been very helpful! My group in class and I are now currently working on a scientific/artistic research around the questions: 'In what way does racism take place in The Netherlands?' and 'In what way could we make children aware of racism and as a result foster understanding and empathy?' We are still very much at the starting point of our research, but we are very hopeful to achieve new insights and methods to talk about racism with children! Big love from The Netherlands and thank you again, so much!!

[@high-endusedsaddles3561]

Great video, thank you for making this. The live action "mistake" scene was cute, made me laugh, and drove home the point very well.

[@faaatality]

Hey, I think you did a good job on this video. Don't let those whiny individuals in the comments who assume that you are "targeting" them phase you. Keep sharing your voice and standing up for what you believe in.

[@BryceGriffler]

Well-played chescaleigh. Using this as a talking point for some areas in my company. Thanks for being an ally, and for breaking down privilege!

[@marilyndejesus3069]

I just wanted to say thank you so much for being so helpful. You literally keep me from losing my shit, and I'm extremely grateful!

[@Emperorbev1s]

Really enjoyed the video :) I think it's really well made, keeps a really great balance of being humorous & informative whilst being really inclusive and very postive

[@AlexJoseph]

As a gay man who has many allies in my life, and someone who is working to become a better ally to other communities, I thought this video was just great.

[@chescaleigh]

@emmy lindsey, you've disabled the ability to reply to your comment :( check out the links in the video description box, there's one on anti-racism in there

[@ezzyisedgy]

Oh woops! That was an accident, I'll fix it? But thank you so much!

[@michaelphillips2135]

please connect with me on FB ... I don't know where you are located but once the film is completed and being submitted to film festivals and comic conventions I want to invite folks to the screenings! facebook.com/pages/Secret-Identities-LGBT-documentary-comic-book-film/148812648510152

[@Drrck11]

Very enlightening. Mind if I share this video? I know a lot of people who need to see this. LoL

[@monstermonster1132]

gay for trump

[@TheHungryHiker]

Thank you for this! I can’t wait to binge watch all of your videos. 😀

[@elyabella100]

Love this , love your energy thank you for educating myself and others. We need to listen and learn ❤

[@SharayaMW]

I can't even tell you how much I appreciate this breakdown.

[@GonnaRockItJett]

I wish they could play your videos in school everywhere. Like all your videos. They're really educational and interesting and I think would be beneficial to a loooot of people. At least they are to me. You're great. Thank you!

[@stephanieatkins5287]

Brilliant!! Thanks for this. I appreciate the upbeat/funny delivery of this!! I'm learning... Lots more to learn... Especially struck by Ally being a Verb!!

[@awakenedsoulyoga]

Loved this video! And loved your sense of humour. Thanks.

[@lesliebeliveau4291]

You've been a huge inspiration to me over the past year. I remember you made a video about how you came to be the person that you are, how you overcame personality difficulties. I.E. you mentioned how unhappy you were in high school/beginning stages of college, and how you overcame that. Now, you seem so well rounded- seamlessly discussing important social issues with grace, while also incorporating humor into your explanation. I'd really love to get more input on how you keep your cool while discussing these gut wrenching topics of racism and privilege. I'm merely an ally, yet, while trying to have a discussion with my white family, I ended up in tears after talking about Ferguson. Do you have any tips on how to talk to overly sensitive white people about these issues in a way that they'll hear you? ... Better question: Could you do a video on how to have productive conversations about race with white people? Laying out historical facts, and then relating them to present issues? It seems like there's a lot of resources out there, but it's been hard to outline them in a cohesive way. Any advice?

[@andar90]

Ooooh, I have a good I Became a Better Ally (I think) Moment. It sounds super simple, but I feel like it was really important. I struggled with ideas of allyship because I felt (and sometimes still feel) paralyzed - how can I possibly help everybody there is to help that needs it? That makes me a bad ally! I feel bad about being a bad ally! :( But then I had an epiphany.. it was like I heard a tiny voice whisper to me, and it whispered, "It's not about you or how you feel." O.O Mind - BLOWN. (Context: I'm a white, cisgender gay male (lower-middle class, fat as well).) I think that moment of realizing that it really isn't about you, the privileged "ally", is vitally important even if it seems somewhat basic because it's a huge departure from how privileged people are conditioned to think (aka everything's about us by default). So now I basically try to do what I can and not to get too caught up in trying to help everybody because, let's be real, that's almost impossible. Social Justice is a group movement, not a chance for individual heroes to come and save the day. Anyway, that's my story. It ain't about us.

[@gracepfeil624]

Thank you so much for this! I thought your analogy and examples were both super helpful!

[@francescaosuna3390]

This is super helpful. Thanks for spelling it out and giving clear steps to take.

[@averylenox6263]

That Macklemore Mario kart edit made me die laughing!

[@chescaleigh]

Avery Lenox seems like only a few people caught it

[@Nimosayshi]

got goose bumps from all that shade

[@indubitablyzara]

I didn't notice until I saw your comment and went back and looked! Laughing so hard right now.

[@powerplace21]

Thought it was just me... Tbh I think Macklemore is a wonderful ally.

[@vincehanzo3792]

It aggravates me to no end when people say that in order to be an "ally" you need to just "shut up and listen"... yes, you should be informed about what you want to advocate, obviously, and yes if you're advocating for the rights of a specific group of which you are not apart of you won't ever really EXPERIENCE the injustices that that group of people suffer, but THAT DOES MEAN YOU CAN'T VOCALY ADVOCATE FOR THAT GROUP! You say speak up not over.... I just don't see why someone couldn't be a LEADER in advocating for equal rights even though they are a part of the "privileged" group. Being a leader does NOT diminish the legitimacy or the value of all that the oppressed group has worked for. By the way, I really like the way you described the word "privilege;" I WISH EVERYONE would use that word the way you defined it because I always see people using it as an excuse to tell people to shut up and not have an opinion by shouting "check your privilege" or something.

[@joanellis3023]

As an older white woman who considered herself mostly aware of existing racism, i got a lesson in white privilege from the online knit and crochet community of ravelry. A lot of black, brown and bipoc crafters spoke up about their less than ideal experiences in the yarn and crafting community. It was eye opening and more than a little humbling. Now I follow more than just white knitters and have been able to read about the lives abd work of so many that I might not have otherwise.

[@maggieweninger8649]

Thank you for the information. This very helpful. I'm listening & learning so much.

[@joshuagroom7068]

So let me get this straight... privilege is not having to experience or think about certain things because of my skin.... okay... what are these things? It's very easy to make a simple comment as such, but it's way too generalized. What sort of things am I never going to experience or have to think/worry about? Because last I checked, not all people that fit into a certain demographic are connected to a hivemind or have the exact same experiences.

[@Vegito1089]

Its simple. White people control everything so by default, they are "Privileged" and gotta help us poor colored folks because we cant do anything on our own. *OH OOPS* I mean People of Color not Colored People... wait, that's the same thing. Same to be "progressive" huh? -_-

[@MissMuffin446]

I'm shocked at all the reactions, I know this has been uploaded some time ago but still, thank you for being clear about what a good ally entails. I wish more people could see why this is important and realise she's are offending you as a person but pointing out ways in which we can help fight the systematic oppression of certain groups of people that has been drilled into society and our own heads.

[@lamarbillups2843]

Thank you for doing this. Your steps 1-5 could truly be applied to everyone, everywhere in every situation.

[@cqt9223]

Thanks for being kind and straightforward with these tips. Good to know some guidelines...

[@80Insomniac80]

I want to show this video to EVERYBODY. And I'm gonna.

[@TourAbsurd]

"It's not about your intent, it's about your impact." Yes, so much this! Thank you. Great video.

[@TourAbsurd]

ps: the bit about it being a journey is also really important. Thanks again!

[@blahdelablah]

+TourAbsurd Intent matters as well. Let's put it in terms of a conversation: Person 1 says something well intentioned but misguided to person 2. What's the best case scenario for resolving this? Person 1 should realise the impact they've had on person 2, so they can learn from it. Person 2 should realise that person 1 was well intentioned, to help them be considerate when telling person 1 about their impact. The important thing here is treating people with respect. Intending to do good is worthy of respect, even if it can go wrong.

[@taililing1907]

I think this video seriously deserves more likes and views. Really informative and delivered in an accessible format! Thank you!

[@bevkenny1843]

Shared! Fantastic video. Thank you so much.

[@thelustfulkid4110]

The best thing you can do when being an ally is standing up for the group/groups even when they aren't around and even when you're the odd man out. This doesn't mean you have to get in a fight or put yourself in a dangerous situation but you can't pick and choose when to be an ally. It's all the time or never.

[@chescaleigh]

thelustfulkid SUCH A GOOD POINT! i'm still working on a video about "calling out vs calling in" but i'll make sure to add this to my list of things i want to cover. there are definitely times where allies can use their voices because members of another group aren't there. that's essential. and you're right, you can't pick and choose, you gotta be all in.

[@powerplace21]

Amen.

[@bevevans77]

Hi! I am really enjoying your videos, THANK YOU for explaining white "privilege" ... man... I really wish it was a different term... as a lower class white person I just didn't get it and no one would explain it to me without becoming hostile. I struggle with this issue so very much. I come from a VERY racist area in the corner of Texas. I mean everyone hate everyone! I had to move to get away from it. The reason I struggle so much is because the school I went to growing up in this area (through middle school) I was the minority. I was bullied and talked down to... it broke my spirit in all sincerity. Teachers and students alike called me a "skinny little white girl" I was quite, I was shy, I tried very hard to not make waves, I became a target. I have a sort of PTSD from this. Things are a little better now where I live but I still have this fear deep deep down when interacting with black people, I have made some wonderful friends, I am in constant fear of saying the wrong thing. Though I am not a racist person I don't think I would, it's still a fear. I know that I am very much a minority in this aspect, no one talks about this but it's out there. Thanks again.

[@lisabennett9034]

Thank you for your friendly pointers. They are helpful.

[@leehogg6248]

Some good points here. What I like the most is that comments aren't disabled. I've noticed that where comments are disabled, these people are preaching and don't want condescending voices.

[@Alione]

Best birthday gift so far!

[@chescaleigh]

Alione happy birthday!

[@ZoraTheberge]

"They'd be Michelle" same

[@turbodarkle]

This was actually quite realistic and informative, thank you!

[@christinehsu569]

Thank you for this video! Keep up the great work!!

[@celinacn7741]

OMG I am a total fan! Not only are you brilliant with these suggestions, but you are incredibly unassuming and hilarious. Thank you for this "primer". I am sharing to my networks. As a straight cis woman myself, it is a lesson for me, as well, in my role as an ally to other identity groups!

[@chescaleigh]

Thanks for enjoying & sharing!

[@networth8754]

Asian-Americans are the most successful demographic in terms of educational attainment in STEM majors, median household income, lowest rate of divorce and violent crime along with longevity. Can someone explain to me their "privilege"?

[@ANATworld]

Thank you so much for this. I appreciate that you've given more resources. Much gratitude.

[@abegalejones984]

Love this video! Thank you for the helpful tips :)

[@MickDansforth]

The blue and the stripes are AWESOME!

[@chescaleigh]

+MickDansforth thanks! we had fun decorating

[@andrewkim607]

Andywarski brought me here.

[@Amboselli]

Hi. I'm doing the 30 day anti-racism course. It's great. Just wanted to mention that Day 3 video is missing. I get a message saying it was removed. Any way to access that?

[@creativedance100]

I LOVE this video! It is the most clear and concise description of privilege I have heard. Thank you for being articulate, clear and also humble in your perspective. Seriously, thank you!

[@briemiracle]

Saw your comment on a vlogbrother's video, and followed it to your channel, where this was the first video that started playing. I've now seen several of your videos and subscribed! Also, thanks for making this video!

[@Haruhi349]

I LOVE this. I especially love the way that you explained the word privilege. Like you mentioned, so many people get caught up on that word and use their personal struggles to discredit their lack of struggle in other areas of life.

[@chescaleigh]

***** people LOATHE that word! it's my personal mission to help people get over it lol i have another vide up my sleeve that will hopefully help make it easier for folks ;)

[@Haruhi349]

chescaleigh Looking forward to it! I'll probably be passing it along to some people haha.

[@chescaleigh]

***** don't put words in my mouth. i didn't say anything about white people. i said people. because people of all backgrounds are uncomfortable with the word privilege so in making this video i did not say anything about race, i talked about how people of all backgrounds have privilege including myself as a straight cis woman. i don't want anything from white people. i want equality for everyone, regardless of their background. the fact that you'd suggest otherwise says way more about you than it does about me.

[@chescaleigh]

***** did you even watch the video? i used myself as an example of someone with straight cis privilege and gave 2 specific examples. i also included over 15 resources in the description box that highlight privilege for all types of people based on their gender, race, sexuality and physical abilities.

[@chescaleigh]

***** lol now you're just making things up. I've never said anything about "stand back white protestors" or suggested anyone is better than because of their color. i'm only responsible for my own words and actions, no one else's. if you take issue with how other people are behaving then take it up with them. i'm not responsible for what other people are saying about protestors. i've never said anything of the sort or been nasty to anyone.

[@BasicCoverMan]

Privilege - a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group. I think that definition is quite clear and agrees with you that it's not about being rich or having it easy, but where people get hung up is the whole idea that it is conferred to an entire race, gender or sexuality when in almost all cases that won't apply. The only cases where it actually could apply are ones where the converse is illogical, for example a white person will not face direct anti-black racism and a black person will not face direct anti-white racism but the reasons for that seem pretty obvious and they're not a "privilege"

[@jocelynperez4361]

Hi! I was just wondering how I can phrase things when I speak up in class or when I am talking to other to educate them about things I have read people in different marginalized groups talk about. Would it be okay to say something like "While I am not a part of the community, what I have heard people within the community state/argue/discuss is that _____?" Is that okay to give credit to the people behind the movements? Or what would be most appropriate? Thank you!