3 ways to be a better ally in the workplace | Melinda Epler

We're taught to believe that hard work and dedication will lead to success, but that's not always the case. Gender, race, ethnicity, religion, disability, sexual orientation are among the many factors that affect our chances, says writer and advocate Melinda Epler, and it's up to each of us to be allies for those who face discrimination. In this actionable talk, Epler shares three ways to support people who are underrepresented in the workplace. "There's no magic wand for correcting diversity and inclusion," she says. "Change happens one person at a time, one act at a time, one word at a time."
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[@MaximB]

Or just forget about gender, age, ethnicity etc. and treat people as people... judge them by the content of their character, and other mutable characteristics.

[@mrdictator7030]

Yeah well with that view you will be branded a racist very quickly if you live in the west

[@MaximB]

​@@bharrell8149 What hypocrisy, how dare YOU be so judgmental and a co-partner in racist hurtful unfair discriminating ignorance. One advocating to overlook individual immutable characteristics is arguably the definition of anti discrimination. My above advocacy should hardly be controversial. Further, how uncaring and judgmental to make a comment like you have about my past. You obviously don't know me. I've been discriminated against for my age, and started out with my own disabilities and disadvantages, for example I was diagnosed with two chronic illnesses (crohns and primary sclerosing cholangitis) before my teens, as well as having parents making little over living wage. One main reason I believe I'm alive and have done as well as I have, is because I tried NOT focusing on my problems, as much as focusing on what do to about them. I do not expect others to bend for me, rather I try to focus on making my own future. I believe people are much more powerful than they often like to allow themselves to realize; they don't like to realize it, because they then become responsible for doing something about it. Speeches like this Ted talk can be hurtful as they imply the weight is on others to bend for you, rather than an emphasizing what one can control - and their own individual responsibility. I absolutely believe in looking out for the underdog, giving to those in need, but it is absolutely not an obligation and those that need charity have no right to demand it.

[@IRHasDiabetes911]

@@bharrell8149 "mr. fragile male ego" What you displayed is called toxic masculinity. As if men can't be fragile like anyone else. You're creating the Eliot Rodgers of the world with rhetoric like that.

[@mayo2877]

As I wasn't there for the presentations and haven't talked with the other people there, I can neither confirm nor deny that their inattentiveness was due to them feeling superior just because they were men. Assuming however that she's telling the truth about how things played out, they were disrespectful anyway. No matter their reason. As are most of these comments here. Seriously, I too don't agree with every little aspect she mentioned, the terminology she used or the reasons she gave. But I don't need to. The overall message - as I understand - is to be respectful to your colleagues. Even helpful if you can manage it, because it promotes a better work environment for all involved. She never mentioned to be mean to everyone who isn't a minority. She did say however, that you should stand up for someone if you think they should have a chance to explain their ideas, even if others are dismissive. Of course she peppered it with minority terminology, but the fact stands. Stand up to your colleagues if need be. I wholeheartedly agree with that. As some final thoughts, maybe she _was_ overestimating her own ability. Maybe she _is_ prone to blaming others for her own failure. Maybe she _does_ focus to much on minorities in this talk instead of promoting a healthy work environment in other ways. She still was right in one respect. The relationships with you colleagues can make or break the progress of the team and thus the companies progress. It's in your best interest to make a supportive work environment a matter of course.

[@gutterpunkbobby]

Be an ally if you want, this is amazing...But please don't be my 'ally' if you're going to jump on people. Be kind when you do these things, be patient, or please don't be my ally.

[@yekrub22]

Always blame exogenous forces when you fail.

[@yekrub22]

Ted is dead

[@euomu]

Pan-European Nationalist people who think like you do are very dangerous indeed

[@bharrell8149]

great comment mr. fragile male ego

[@joecaraher3391]

@@euomu YOU watch the video again hahah!

[@simondoesstuff]

An angering situation we are in, but a very constructive and hopeful talk that makes me feel armed that we can overcome the epidemic that is people who shut others down blindly.

[@vasihris5956]

The primary point here is to remember to treat others as fellow human beans, but just about that much. Putting extra thought into being respectful and polite, using their pronouns (something that has shown to be extremely easy to exploit) and to even be careful to pronounce their name right? That is straying from your job. IMO those things should only stretch to basic fairness, like speaking up for others is a pretty rational reminder, since today people could be disregarding person X for whatever reason, but tomorrow they could be disregarding you. It's important to give every person a chance to prove their ability, but being all sweet and sugary about it is overdoing it.

[@luiza9425]

Why most of the comments here are from people acting as if they knew her intimately? Telling all about how she was weak and what she should have done at that meeting. Why does a ted talk about empathy at the workplace get so many rude comments? By being rude people only prove how right she is indeed. Respect is the least we owe to anyone.

[@crystalkirana5109]

"Allyship is powerful"

[@ancdrw01]

thank you

[@CinereousDove]

I... I can't be the only one that looking for even one comment, which emphatises, right?? ? ...

[@b33lze6u6]

Feeling good > being good ?

[@luiza9425]

you're not alone

[@o_picekorea]

영어공부하기 넘나 좋은것

[@niklas2851]

Being nice and respectful to each other, letting others share their ideas without interrupting- Aren't you supposed to learn these skills/life lessons as a child? Do we really need to teach all of that to middle-aged adults again? And this 'rating system', defining people by their individual 'privilege' sounds more like discriminating them than a system for more social justice.

[@adonisng157]

While i do see your issue with the idea of assigning terms such as 'privilege' to other individuals, I do believe that this isn't necessarily a form of discrimination. While discrimination is a behaviour that is unfair against certain groups or individuals based off of certain characteristics they have, acknowledging our 'privilege' is different. Discrimination is injustice that doesn't reflect reality, while privilege is simply a term that is used to reflect the reality of our society as it currently stands. For example, Han Chinese individuals in China (an ethnic group that makes up 99% of China) is vastly more privileged than Chinese citizens that are not Han Chinese (Ie. Uyghur muslims, or Hmong peoples). This 'privilege' only exists as a result of the persecution, injustice, and active discrimination against minority and underrepresented groups and to acknowledge that privilege exists is simply to acknowledge the reality of that discrimination. In an American example, 'male privilege in the workplace' is simply the idea that while men as individuals will and do go through many hardships in life and at work, their gender is unlikely to be a contributing factor to why they aren't able to get the promotion they seek. I believe that to simply stop at 'privilege' is obviously not a social justice initiative. Privilege exists as a system to identify and acknowledge that some are more fortunate than others and it's a starting point for further social justice initiatives that should be put in place in the future.

[@keananvanhees7716]

Nice Gary

[@neilsg2001]

Pay all staff from profit that would be a start.

[@ShallowBeThyGames]

"Head of" - "I hit the glass ceiling HARD" - "At my first presentation" Imagine how little of this speech would be left if the excuses were omitted.

[@boluwarin]

I started to realize that I wasn't failing.... The culture around me was failing

[@AlexReyn888]

Do you know what is the difference between friends and allies? After your victory, the allies become your new enemies.

[@davidtucci6085]

You are obviously not part of the Bitcoin community - we are all allies - there is no Bitcoin company - just the cause

[@UnrealQW]

Take a look at her www.linkedin.com/in/melindaepler/ page to understand what type of CEO/Founder/Director she is. All her life isn't centered around business but around "helping" people.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

It is interesting that for someone with "over 25 years of experience" her profile shows very few...

[@imanijade5885]

The people in this comment section are insane. “You don’t just get respect you earn it” fine let that be true for General things in life, but when it comes specifically to a job or company that you work for and everyone’s job is to make profit, it seems sort of counterproductive not to listen to people and work together so you can not only make but increase profit and achieve whatever other goals you have in place, otherwise, why even hire the person?

[@TheFabel1337]

So allyship is a rebranding of “loving your neighbor”. Good talk. When people connect magic can happens

[@TheFabel1337]

@Dack Hacksaw Hahah! If you mean a follower of My Little Pony, I'm afraid I must let you down ;)

[@crustyplush]

people saying she's the one who failed apparently didn't listen when she said the same ideas she had were presented by men and praised. it wasn't like she came up with bad ideas. it was literally because SHE came up with them. and it happens to women every day. it's easy to brush it aside if it's never happened to you personally but it's there.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

At the end of the day, it seems Ms. Epler is engaging in virtue signaling and narcissistic behavior rather that truly being an ally. After all, good allies shine the spotlight away from them to someone who is a minority deserving of this opportunity. She should not have been the one to present.

[@joshuaf1820]

Just because she says that does make it true. How many women where at the meeting?!? How many women “praised the mens ideas”?!?! Please this is just a “I suck at my job” so I’m going to blame it on other people.

[@joecaraher3391]

I think the reason they didn't like it when she said the idea is because she's a weirdo. You can't help but tune out when this crazy toxic person is talking

[@agproctor4225]

My encouragement is to reflect on how we can each use this talk personally to be better at work and bring the voices of everyone who can make our organizations better to be at the table and be heard.

[@nuniezjorge]

do you sell soylent?

[@iloveyouamberappel]

I don't agree, you were failing. Business doesn't care about who you are. They care about how much money you make or save the company.

[@scruffyrodriguez7698]

And they have done a good job

[@fionafiona1146]

Business cares about you feeling free, Slaves brake mechanics (that's why the North hasn't had Slaves slaving in factorys) free people suffer much more before the results suffer. (pleas note that making people most productive is now on the final Mile, in needs final, minute, adjustment).

[@zakiyashivji8959]

I am seeing a lot of comments below that i don't agree with. If you are hired for a specific reason and no one is listening to you, then what was the point in hiring anyone if you aren't going to give them the time of day? I think getting the job is earning the right for full attention and if you are professional and mature you would give people the time and attention they deserve. What she is talking about in the video is how Women and other minorities still are not given the time of day even when they earn their position. The term Ally is used to represent people who fight for the basic rights we all deserve and shouldn't have to ask for. Being an Ally does not simply mean you are not a bad person. If you do not put yourself in the line of fire for someone else in the situations of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, then you are NOT and ally. If you don't think these issue are not happening, then that is a big part of the problem.

[@YIIMM]

I honestly reject the term "ally" because I feel it's defining yourself as *"not a garbage person"* as if that shouldn't just be the default.

[@downsjmmyjones101]

Language doesn't have anything to do with what things should be but rather what they are. As soon as allyship is no longer useful as a distinction, it will disappear.

[@YIIMM]

@@downsjmmyjones101 I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say.

[@downsjmmyjones101]

@@YIIMM You're talking about how you don't like a word because you don't think it SHOULD be used in a certain way. That doesn't mean anything. Language has nothing to do with how it SHOULD be used. It IS used in ways. Just because I don't think a rock SHOULD be used as a hammer doesn't mean that it can be a damn good hammer. However, until hammers are everywhere that they're needed, I will have to accept that rocks will be necessary for hammering things.

[@YIIMM]

@@downsjmmyjones101 For that to be an appropriate analogy please replace "rock" with "not a pickled herring"

[@downsjmmyjones101]

@@YIIMM I don't see how. 'Ally' is a suitable word just like a rock can be a suitable hammer.

[@proyectowala]

Cool! Let's be an ally

[@aSHTEBALA]

“Ally” implies that there are enemies, which is a very bad way to think of colleagues. Overall this talk generates so much negative energy on the listeners, I feel sad for the crowd who had to sit through all this.

[@Dimetropteryx]

"“Ally” implies that there are enemies," There are. They're called substandard coworkers who should have been fired ages ago.

[@Dimetropteryx]

Kee .W If you're competing AGAINST someone working for the same company, the one of you who either isn't a team player or is redundant needs to be fired, along with the person responsible for allowing it in the first place.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

I hoped TED would have done a better job screening for presenter-topic fit.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

Ms. Epler has shown poor judgement accepting to present this talk - and it is evident in her speech. Her delivery is sub-par for the TED standards. She thinks she hit the glass ceiling HARD but she reached the c-suite. She thinks she is an ally, but a true ally would have mentioned the scores of minority people spreading this same message and would have given them this platform.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

At the end of the day, it seems Ms. Epler is engaging in virtue signaling and narcissistic behavior rather that truly being an ally. After all, good allies shine the spotlight away from them to someone who is a minority deserving of this opportunity.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

Ms. Epler, if you are reading this, and I hope you are: please step aside and be the ally you are asking all of us to be.

[@abdullahalsoma5900]

@@jayasarkissian3573 this comment is so negative. OMG

[@Vincent14450]

I don't know how, but talks in this room are often pretty good. Now again. Nice job room, and nice job Melinda!

[@betts12220]

What if I consider using euphemisms like "ally, diversity, inclusion, and pronouns" in the workplace a microaggression?

[@FilipeBrasAlmeida]

What on earth does a bad working environment have to do with all this identitarian nonsense?

[@FilipeBrasAlmeida]

Even if we assume the worst possible working environment, for Melinda Epler to make the claims she makes, she must first establish that her mistreatment was due to her identity as a cis-jordanian or whatever it was exactly.

[@BlueSkyse]

Is this woman serious...? What has happened to these people to brain wash them to this point?

[@shamyazacain1077]

New World Order.

[@TheSunshineGroup]

They went to college

[@nietzschesmoustache3585]

Mental illness. Bish needs therapy.

[@BlueSkyse]

@@TheSunshineGroup having been to college used to he a good thing before most of the professors went to the toilet.

[@iron60bitch62]

Six If you think a difference of opinion is brainwashing then you could ask the same of you

[@Jose04537]

So,"Ally"(like in War)means"I acknowledge you're helping us,if you do exactly as we say (shut up,listen,pay us,you bad,me good,question nothing). BUT, you will never have an equal voice,since you're not us,therefore not equal nor treated as such, you're just conveniently useful"

[@automat3000]

When did this presentation happen? 1972? Or in Saudi Arabia? Because you sounded like the unluckiest person working in the worst place if people just drown you out during your presentation and *nobody* says anything about it, and then steal your ideas! We keep hearing about these places with unbelievable misogyny, conscious bias and out-and-out discrimination, but very few people have actually witnessed these places in the modern, western world it seems.

[@nickc3657]

This is a serious and deeply ingrained issue in every workplace. People _hate_ when it’s brought up that meritocracy is a myth. I’m glad she’s speaking out.

[@elinope4745]

Meritocracy is a half truth. You can't win the lottery without buying a ticket. Sure there is luck involved, but if you are incapable, than that luck won't do you any good. You need to both have talent/skill and have luck at the same time to succeed. Take this speaker for example, she had the luck, but she didn't have the talent, so she didn't last.

[@b33lze6u6]

"Be a better ally by being toxic to the other 99% of the company" kek

[@luiza9425]

toxic to the other 99%? how?

[@b33lze6u6]

just gimme an answer of "how" based on what you think. i wanna hear you say it

[@luiza9425]

@@b33lze6u6 I just dont understand why being polite at work would be aggressive to other people. she was talking about empathy, that's all.

[@b33lze6u6]

Luiza it seems there have become 2 different forms of polite. on one hand you have the simple rules of public discourse, dont be pushy, be respectful, be friendly but not too friendly etc.... and certainly everyone should be afforded these things in a social setting. where it goes wrong is when certain groups of people think being polite as " i get to define what is or is not polite for myself and for others" when you do that, you become that person that everyone secretly dosent want to be around because you are toxic. and this leads to an overall toxic environment.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

*Luiza* Didn't You hear what she said? She refers to herself listing her skills as "storytelling, social impact, behaviour change" ... that is bloody unbearable from the beginning when You gotta do real work in earnest with a person like that. I do not go into an ENGINEERING company 9-5 to be socially impacted or even behaviour changed by a bloody co-worker or even a superior! I go there to gain enough money to pay the bills with what I am good at: engineering. Probably it might even be fun messing around with a buncha other weirdos like me to find actually working solutions for customer's probs. Being "behaviour changed" while doing that is NOT fun. It. Is. Not. Fun. Being "behaviour changed" and "socially impacted" by some random submarine in my workplace instead makes me vomit and aggressive. Definitely not micro-aggressive but fully grown aggressive, homicide-aggressive, Game-of-Thrones aggressive, to picture it. Reaching a certain "glass ceiling" with an approach she refers to as "storytelling" is actually a good thing - at least in an ENGINEERING company. Breaking that glass ceiling with storytelling would ruin the engineering quite quick I'm afraid.

[@ScothMcBeast]

This is borderline dangerous, telling people that the reason why they fail is something other then their actions. Actions btw which are the result of personality traits such as agreeableness. In dog eat dog world (vast majority of businesses) taking what you want and elbowing others in the process seems to predict success. That's a more dominant trait in males then females so gender is not *really* the issue. There are plenty of women who have the killer instinct to rise above others in work place. While surely there are work places that are biased, not saying that such a thing doesn't exist, the *problem* isn't that if you don't succeed in corporal life in the long run, it's because someone with higher drive kicked the door in, got noticed and sold them selves regardless of gender or race ect.

[@otaku3OBSESSION]

I think the problem here is that that male-typical trait of "killer instinct" in the workplace, is treated as if its the *ONLY* trait with value in the workplace. Being agreeable is incredibly important to maintain workplace cohesion to maintain productivity and team building. And unfortunately, no, you don't just elevate yourself and climb and climb and climb, because no man (nor woman) works alone. Even the biggest billionaire trillionaires have their wealth to be attributed to the support of their family, peers, investors, coworkers, mentors, etc. Most certainly, being your own self-advocate is important-- to speak up for yourself in the workplace... but that IS what she's doing here. She's telling everyone to speak up when they see and view discrimination in the workplace. Dog-eat-dog is the most toxic form of self-advocacy, as it burns bridges and destroys your network. Being agreeable is a NECESSITY in communications. The old days of your grandpa's tech firm are ending. Stop parroting Jordan Peterson's ideas about males having better business traits. They are only "better" because we as society designed it to have more value, while ignoring every other valuable trait.

[@TwistyTreeline]

Sorry, what? I have no idea what this talk is about because I started playing on my phone as soon as she started talking

[@dominickoquin3103]

In the military while running, the guide will literally get behind the slowest man and push if necessary!

[@dominickoquin3103]

I’m not saying if your not one of the privileged ones, your one of the slowest. I’m saying to influence someone, you must know what influences them. I believe the way a cat recognizes a cucumber as a potential threat (snake) due to the way their brains evolved, privileged individuals will push forward feeling nothing but normal. I think the key is awareness tied to a real emotion. To hear there’s inequality in the world to most, is like you telling them 2+2=4. Perhaps my perception of humanity is unique to me because of my generation, background, or what ever the case, but to me my life’s focal point needs to be “progress not perfection”. Videos like this one show me that the world is going towards progress🤗. #humility

[@lauriegreer]

So many in this thread are proving the point. Women are scrutinized differently.

[@SCScholar1]

So we walk on eggshells around people hoping we don't offend them? Combat discrimination with more discrimination? Stop treating people like helpless children.

[@TheMisprizeme]

Wow .. this is Amazing

[@RpattoYT]

Have you tried being an individual, having your own unique thoughts and feels, detached from the collective? Thought not... NPC3485945

[@Twist3dLogic]

Kinda disturbing that this kind of basic human decency needs to be brought up like this... I think I've been spoilt by my work place x.x What is more disturbing is the comments in this section... are people really so ignorant and dismissive of these issues that they want to presume they know everything about it then trash talk someone who has raised the problem, trying to help people? Even if she is wrong in her perceptions (possible, but not very likely), the intent is to help others... slow clap for you guys wanting to quibble for internet points.

[@RheubenRheuben]

So it's cool if something is wrong if it's intention is to helps others? Just want to clarify.

[@luiza9425]

I thought I would find more comments like yours here but nah, people are just judging her, saying she's weak and basically proving she's right, it's hard to have empathy for others if they're different I guess...

[@kalaiarasanpushpanathan9904]

Honest to God, I tried to like this but. Only thing I kind of agreed was give me your full attention. But, you just don't get to ask it. Nobody is going to give that to you for free. You have to earn it.

[@xxxburke]

So you never learned how to lift yourself up, only how to bring a system down and/or rely on a system to help you. Got it.

[@davidtucci6085]

U sound inconsiderate ...why even respond like that?

[@xxxburke]

@@davidtucci6085 because what I said was important.

[@davidtucci6085]

xxxburke we are not that important in the grand scheme of things... teach someone something if u have an expertise . Good luck, peace out

[@gaetanomaximus8650]

Your fellow executives were probably all thinking "Who's this ditz?"

[@MattRoszak]

I could have guessed she was from San Francisco before the talk started... and well... the talk was very predictable. I don't disagree with being polite in the work place - but why can't the message just be that? "Be polite to everyone you work with." Why's it gotta focus on women? I'm sure a shy and awkward man would have been treated just as badly in those meetings. But I've also never been employed, so I dunno.

[@You-are-right-but]

I haven't been great at everything i do. Its not always the fault of the people around me.

[@claudiofreitas9425]

I’m all for listening to each other and being more respectful to everyone else around you, but having diversity just for the sake of diversity in the workplace doesn’t sound right. Aren’t qualifications, experience, and the right mindset the things to look for when hiring? Hiring a less qualified candidate because of their ethnicity/gender sounds belittling and counterproductive.

[@luiza9425]

mas em nenhum momento ela falou que o ponto principal de uma contratação deve ser o fato do candidato fazer parte ou não de uma minoria, claudio

[@luiza9425]

@Dack Hacksaw please elaborate

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

*DackHacksaw*

[@monicaevans2152]

Thats not what she means. Shes saying look at qualified people. Not just who you assume is qualified. Look at everyone equally without judgement by their applications and what they bring rather than their appearance. I thought that was a pretty obvious point. But it looks like this entire comment section didn't understand the meaning.

[@gaetanomaximus8650]

So shocked it was San Francisco. Was your hair dyed blue?

[@gaetanomaximus8650]

Your gender; you're race, you're religion... are not barriers in the workplace: they're benefits. They're the things that give people like you special priviliges that people like me would never get. No HR or other department in any corporation in America ever says "what can we do to attract and retain more straight white males?" To the contrary, every one has special privileges in place for anyone who isn't so as to actively reduce the presence of straight white males. It's bad enough that this racial, gender and sexuality spoils system is in place, but for the love of God don't pretend you're a victim of it when you're the beneficiaries of it.

[@coki1981]

thank you so much for sharing such powerful message!

[@scruffyrodriguez7698]

"I wasn´t failing, the culture around me was failing me" Yeah right

[@Tebigong101]

I do wish she had recognized Dr. Pierce who coined the term microaggression. Black academics, intellectuals, and creatives don't get the credit for the things they innovate.

[@jgo5165]

Great video, I am an older white male finishing up my last year of college and I never thought about diversity but I am glad I did because it has taught me a lot and opened my eyes and has gave me Knowledge....

[@denysferreira6635]

A sua percepção de como a lei natural evolutiva se aplica no cotidiano não mudará o seu futuro, a nao ser que você use isso a seu favor!!!

[@WA-uq1rh]

I don’t negate how these are great points but sometimes the problem really is you.

[@lauriegreer]

You just said you don’t negate but then went and did it.

[@tomriddle2257]

What to do you are getting talked over: (you decide what works best for you) 1. Agree to the persons point who is talking you over by talking them back over and continue with your point. It won't come negative. 2. Train your working memory and continue your point later. 3. Create the term "micro aggression" , drag it into politics and then sue anyone who dares to look at you with any sort of non-verbal existence.

[@ChessMasteryOfficial]

*Change your thoughts and you change your world.*

[@scatton61]

ummmm nope you just change your thoughts

[@arthurchase9381]

Guys all these negative comments are micro aggressions chill before you get metooed

[@robc3863]

It's a jungle, people are competitive, it's a competitive market, it's tough at the top, how else should it be? We can all be allies? Really? :))))

[@cameronwilson3053]

Love all these comments unironically telling the woman to sit down and shut up because sexism doesn't happen

[@elinope4745]

Think if a guy said the same thing the commenters would be more kind?

[@shlomosilversteinberg5785]

Sexism is when the majority of combat and workplace deaths are men. Oh, sexism happens. It's just not a one way street like you hope.

[@luiza9425]

thank god someone finally said it!!! cameron 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@joshuadrew6246]

"Diversity" is discrimination, period.

[@cjhike2456]

Wah, wah, wah.... stand up and do the job.

[@StephanieElizabethMann]

Brilliant. As a person with an ASD and Transexual female I have been on the receiving end of a lot of people ignorance about people like me. When I have needed an ally I only saw neurotypical people swarm together like a shoal of fish with no doorway in. I paddled in a dragon boat crew for 18 months (I had transitioned MtoF before moving to this area) and the still referred to me as he/him. My name was always called out to correct my stroke. I left the team and still feel sad whenever I go past the shed they use. I remember when I teach bookbinding at the local U3a the lessons I learnt and you have described to make sure everyone is included. Thank you for you presentation.

[@veritablySloth]

The comments beneath this video are depressing, and largely from people that have NEVER experienced this. It really does wear you down.

[@nunyadambidniss]

Who'd even wanna listen to you ?

[@cliffnefromne1055]

She may have missed a major point here, and many young people miss this one. You may have the idea, but no understanding of what else it takes to implement! That causes experienced people to sit up and take notice when they bring something new. Not just that they show up.

[@kemonoautumnfall6331]

Ally. What is this, a war?

[@anoxgaming9027]

The problem with this is the victim mentality. If you want to get somewhere you have to stop considering yourself as the victim. Work hard, and go beyond what is expected.

[@johnsmith-dz9jo]

That sounds like a you problem hun.

[@FernandoMontelbon]

Please stop being violent at this woman

[@johnsmith-dz9jo]

No

[@FernandoMontelbon]

@@creativeplay8804 stop assaulting me

[@somphothbsiratsamy3748]

Interpersonal skills.... still, there are ppl I would choose to avoid.

[@BryanR1126]

Not showing attention, interrupting, and not listening = Harm??? I'm sorry but respect is earned, you never told us if you did what it takes to earn that respect.

[@disruptivetimes8738]

Interesting, isn't it?

[@luiza9425]

really? so students should only pay attention in class if the teacher proves he deserves their attention? she was speaking in a meeting, they should have paid attention to what she was saying...

[@Auburndad50]

Your on the right track, it’s called being polite and treating others like you want to be treated. Unfortunately for this speaker, she had many personal issues that clouded her message on TED ( which is easy for people to jump on and critique) and I suspect did the same in her career as well.

[@wildwild2255]

Just because you are a woman doesnt make you weak. Just because you are black doesnt make you weak. Etc. But if you are a woman or a minority and you think that ever agressive or inconsiderate thing that people do that affects you is because you are a woman or a minority, well you are weak.

[@nejinaji]

Or just go to work and DO YOUR DAMN JOB. If you're there to be a better ally then you're there for the wrong reason. And if you need an ally then you're not strong enough to make it in that field.

[@cycle8120]

At your workplace you're not supposed to be an ally to anyone. You're supposed to do your goddamn job. If these people do not learn to help themselves, they'll never learn it. You're doing them a disservice.

[@kevinperez-qw1rt]

with all due respect, she is just blaming her failure on others. Part of success is to endure the hardship of life, if success was easy then it wouldn't feel as good to be successful in life. I cannot believe ted allow this girl to even make a speech.

[@Isma-fn6tk]

Why do not they add subtitles in Spanish TED 🤔?

[@kulturfreund6631]

cause they ´re anti-hispano-machoism-racists.

[@wildwild2255]

Because they only want to destroy white men not Hispanics. You are better off trust me for not being able to understand the absolute horse crap in this video if you dont understand spoken english.

[@jg997]

TL;DR everyone else is the problem, not you. Here's your teddy bear.

[@user-il2dm9um7h]

she said that ally is just used in relationship that connected money . i'm so sorry about that ally's intention is just to be more productive in kind of economic dimension .

[@Rugg-qk4pl]

I wonder what her respawns time is

[@avijonikamijoni1663]

*Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.*

[@fabiomaiadacosta5394]

awesome and inspiring video!

[@Nobody-fy7tw]

. .

[@InfoSopher]

The enlightenment is the foundation of modern critical thinking. One of the core tenets of it was that everything can be criticized, nothing is holy. No idea, no ideology, nobody. That light shimmers dim these days.

[@TheLivirus]

Sounds like Melinda absorbed a rather narrow education, with little exposure to opposing points of view. Needless to say, she was shell-shocked upon first exposure to a free marketplace of ideas. Now she tries to craft a culture where ideas are silently tolerated rather than challenged upon dissent.

[@raiden031]

So I've felt excluded or ignored like this woman in many situations in my life. Whether it be functions at work or social gatherings. The difference is I can not claim membership as part of a victim group. So my only option is to blame myself and say well I must have a bad idea, or I must be too boring, or my jokes arent funny. It must be nice to have allies who will convince you that your failures are the fault of others, whereas I have to accept accountability for my own failures. I don't know why anyone finds it shocking that the "men in the comments" don't take this stuff seriously.

[@BookishLish]

The amount of garbage people in this comment section who completely missed her point is really disheartening.

[@LIANG14]

Earn your respect through competence, fail your peer check and you're done and ridiculed until you demonstrate said competence.

[@AlbaniM]

A quick solution does exist, fire anyone throwing a fit.

[@mxrored]

When you realise all the negative comments seem to come from men... Being a better ally in and out of the workplace is super important, particularly from a less spoken about micro aggression point.

[@jayasarkissian3573]

While many of the comments are from men... My main issue is that a white woman should not be telling people how to be allies... Minorities should tell people how to be allies... Her idea of allyship is so narrow - it boils down to be nice...

[@rin7564]

Wow, really sexist wide assumption you got there

[@alphastrength3402]

Workplace, third video today about that.....WTF

[@Pantsdog]

Eh.. What did she said? I were checking my cell phone...

[@Stephensry]

One of the worst TED talks I have ever seen...

[@mijanourogers9305]

"Allyship is POWERFUL"!!!

[@jesse3024]

Vote folks, that's all I know.

[@IRHasDiabetes911]

"Thank you for being polite, empathetic, and an ally to me. Is there anything I can do for you?" "Yeah, don't call me an ally...."

[@abhaysharma5888]

First 😀

[@keananvanhees7716]

Abhay Sharma Double check mate you have been beaten

[@lacunarikain2]

"If it comes down to a minority, or woman/person of other "gender" pick them because I said so".

[@warrior29363]

she complains and complain talking about discrimination, trans, women's rights etc...