5 Weird Texting Habits Of Narcissists

Book Your Slot for the online workshop on "How you become trauma bonded and how to break free in 5 powerful steps": emotionalabuserecovery.com/ev...
A narcissist has to stay in control of the situation and keep getting supply from you at all times possible, especially when you are not in their physical presence. They have to influence you to keep you under their thumb.
And one of the easiest ways and the best ways to do so is via texting. When they can't control you directly, they control you through their weird texting habits. And that is what we are going to talk about in this episode.
chapters
00:00 introduction
00:48 Texting Non-Stop and Demanding Constant Attention
02:45 Making You feel ignored by not responding
04:10 Exploitative Sexting
05:36 Rare Heart Felt Conversations
07:08 They Leave You Hanging
danish bashir narcissist narcissist texting games texting of narcissists

[@narcabusecoach]

What weird texting habit did you experience with the narcissist?

[@padraigfarrell2413]

Danish what would make a narcissist kill a pet dog ?

[@SteffieSea]

@@padraigfarrell2413 i need more information. but many are straight up psychopaths.. some narcs are more dangerous than others. and some do it for attention. others do it bc they cannot take care of anything that is not themselves. they might claim to like animals, but they do not want to care for them in that way. others will do it as a type of threat. i guess wed just need more information behind it but that is so awful.. they truly have no remorse. poor doggy :(

[@annettebaggett]

My husband would rely on love emojis... he was too lazy to type actual words. Of course they were mostly of couples spooning and kissing. All this happened only during the love bomb stage.

[@mlou7432]

In my experience, Narcs HATE texting. They have an advantage in phone calls and in conversation where they can Word Salad and gaslight. Texting leaves a record of accountability.

[@kirsikka3752]

@@padraigfarrell2413 My father wanted to get rid of our puppy, maybe because he was jealous. He did not kill the dog himself, but sent us to take it to the vet, because he is "allergic and cannot breathe" when the dog is present. One year later he wanted a cat.

[@etoppsportcards]

Best way to deal with a narcissist is to not deal with them.

[@msteach3082]

That’s the “only” way if you want to maintain your sanity. I feel especially bad for the people who have to co-parent with them.

[@beebromley]

unfortunately, as with myself, many of us do not know what a narcissist until we have been discarded and go looking for answers

[@clasonine75]

Periodt

[@gglin5595]

Well explained

[@louern123]

well it seems that they target people who aren’t able to walk away

[@sonoranoasis3012]

I think one of the BIGGEST telltale signs of a narcissist is that they will ignore your texts but if you don't respond to their texts there is hell to pay. It's all about control.

[@Padraigp]

I think everyone is unique. Theres no one thing or one sign or one set of attributes they all have. Their all unique just like anyone is.

[@tyarnold4088]

​@@Padraigp i don't know. That's pretty accurate.

[@louc313]

Gosh, YES!

[@victorialadybug1]

@@Padraigp No, narcs all have the same patterns and use the same playbook.

[@Padraigp]

@@victorialadybug1 same patterns sure. But theyre all different as well. They dont all do everything the same ..some text some dont even own phones lol!

[@alicelivesfree]

“They make you feel ignored and this ignorance is what kills your self-worth” yes yes yes.

[@G-man45444]

And..... when you ask why they are ignoring.... they attack ... I was left feeling helpless and hurt when I politely asked ... why don't you answer and I would catch hell if I took too long to answer.

[@lanashowler5906]

MOve on and forget them.

[@lanashowler5906]

They simply showed you what they woukd do when things get hard. They did you a favor..... Change youre thinking. X

[@Kat3111]

Yes yes yes! Same experience. After interactions with the covert narc were done with in the past, it felt like he was holding my head under the water trying to drawn me ( his ways of controlling things ) - that's the assotiations I now get with that narc.

[@Assia131]

If someone ignores me I leave instantly

[@jussdoughjustin3893]

it's just amazing to me how a stranger on KZbin is more aware of what happened in the last 2 years of my life than I was.

[@movingsaudade6028]

I commented similarly yesterday to one of his videos. I almost swore he was the fly on my walls during my relationship with a narc.

[@wendyholland2339]

BLESS YOU

[@tarasilver8591]

This man talks about my mother n me in every video she's 72 I'm 52 n omg how he says it gets worse with age n I'm here to tell u there r no words for the abuse

[@jussdoughjustin3893]

@@tarasilver8591 sorry to hear that. There must be a way we can overcome the abuse🤔

[@user-ge5xd2hd4y]

Yes you right mine was last 17 Years not 2

[@mlou7432]

In my experience, Narcs HATE texting. They have an advantage in phone calls and in conversation where they can Word Salad and gaslight. Texting leaves a record of accountability.

[@redshift8302]

True to some extent, but they are so engrossed in their reality that the height to which they climb when they are asserting their dominance makes them become less circumspect at times, and the text they send comes back to haunt them. They can't hide from physical evidence, and it's a trump card for the victim.

[@shaylamcgrady1048]

True

[@yoshi4691]

This 🎯

[@nichole_exposing_unseen_enemy]

Yep! You are spot on!

[@nichole_exposing_unseen_enemy]

Then I learned to started recording my arguments with narc husband to see how he was doing the word salad and gaslighting - I spent an hour over each 10 minutes of recording with my narc husband to PROVE his absolute flat out DISRESPECT for me and truth comes out. I'm so over my marriage. I'm tired of the anxiety he's been causing me!

[@daringgreatly8473]

The narcissists I know do not text. There is always some weird reason they didn’t get your text. They are always on their phone and online but they won’t respond. As you stated, they make you feel ignored.

[@cassandrathetruth9095]

They don't want to have a paper trail of things they said...sometimes they think you will show the other supply if and whenever everything come out.

[@sgtmuffinbadger6147]

Yes

[@uyoebyik]

They know you can show people texts so if they do text they only text nice things

[@emotown1]

Yeah, we’ll said. And not just about making you feel ignored. It’s basically being rude to not reply when a reply is obviously the appropriate thing to do. On such occasions I have actually phoned the person to ask “Did you get my text/email ?” . But it’s no use - they just revert to that tactic later on, only this time finding a way to block your telephone number!

[@daringgreatly8473]

Exactly. You begin to wonder if your phone is working and why texts never seem to go through for THIS person. Red flag.

[@PatriciaKanavy]

My experience was lots of texting and talking on the phone, lots of laughs, very flirtatious, asking to see me... but once we were in person, he would ignore me, walk ahead of me, talk to other people, would not sit next me, acted like he didn’t know me. It was BIZARRE.

[@islandgirlxx3465]

Did we date the same man?😮😂 You just described my ex to a T.

[@sivanis7074]

Oh noo..it's my ex to the T

[@irafbf3488]

my husband is the same. it's sh@t.

[@arpitachakraborty263]

Same 💯

[@juliemiller6368]

Mine was opposite. He was on his best behavior when we were together. But immediately when we were apart he would be on some bull**** to start a fight which created serious anxiety to me. Then he would turn it around saying I was the one causing arguments.

[@assilemisawesome]

You are spot on! The best way to not have to deal with a narcissist's "garbage" is to never text or talk to them again.

[@PoojaGupta-zi7om]

But one in family very close 😭😭😭😭

[@sandracrandall4561]

IF you recognize they r 1 😮

[@reptilemetaljen]

Coparenting with one sucks lol

[@bassface8580]

No contact and block on all platforms is the only way. Also they will stalk you given the chance

[@jessicacorrea7221]

Amen 🙏

[@Jessicaisfreee]

Dating feels like walking through a narc minefield, I’ve learned I can’t trust anything someone says or does the first 1-3 months.

[@genxx2724]

I had a male co-worker who said any dating relationship starts with a six-month marketing period. Nothing that happens in the first six months counts. Only after six months, when people are no longer putting their best foot forward, do you start getting to know the real person. I’ve never even had a relationship last longer than six months. I think I’m only attracted to narcissists.

[@alextomlinson]

@@genxx2724 To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him/her. You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with narcissists, no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been. You must feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER kind of person. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Personality Disorder, can you be safely labelled an "inverted narcissist"

[@rayseyeoman7540]

@@genxx2724 Sadly, you’re co worker is right. People can be very patient when they want to deceive you. I would recommend no sex, no intimacy (especially those vulnerable conversations) to a person you are dating within the first six months. Ask solid questions, fact check and take your time to get to know someone.

[@BillLaBrie]

There’s a reason they’re still on the market.

[@inlandempress4587]

covert narc can wait. Mine started abuse after 7 months

[@simes_19]

I don't know if anyone mentioned this, but one thing I experience with texting a narcissist is they monitor your whereabouts, and always worrying about what you're doing.

[@ameliashostak4764]

That's VERY true for me also! I have a child with my ex and we broke up a few years ago, but every single time he calls the first thing he'll ask is where I'm at, what I'm doing and who I'm with! Never fails, every time, lol.

[@jalesoulmn3369]

Because its all about control, maybe theyre cheating and want to know your whereabouts so YOU NEVER KNOW. Its really a sick TRAP

[@nellieshoals]

@Cal who is broken F.U.B.A.R Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. As a therapist and childhood narcissist abuse survivor, my malignant narc father was ALWAYS calling my mother when she was 20 minutes into her grocery shopping or leaving anywhere with me in general. He was a paranoid mfer 😂😂

[@nellieshoals]

@Cal who is broken F.U.B.A.R Ok, lol.

[@whyme6534]

Yes

[@nichellenunya]

1) They will text you whenever they want. Disregarding boundaries . 2) Constantly texting other people while they’re with you 3) Sexting maybe quite early in the relationship 4) connected conversation that never happens until they want something 5) they leave you hanging

[@Kat3111]

Oh yes! Extremely familiar toxic behavior. Disgusting.

[@scottiboy7370]

Exactly I'm with one just now I never get a txt even when I txt her yet in the home she's texting constantly Much respect

[@shalinivinod9705]

Omg ..so true

[@lucillejerome5511]

They can text whenever (at first might not know your schedule so you explain and if they do it again - you don't have to text until you have free time to text back.

[@chaitea3421]

Bye I am this person

[@marilynnorth4281]

You open your heart up to them through your text seeking emotional connection, you wait for a response and finally they send it, one single emojee.

[@charliebrown2679]

And then you get 👍. I hate it so much

[@karimthedream7054]

Don't ever do it! Mirror their shallow character by responding short & pragmatic and don't be sad either, don't take their narcissism personal.

[@AC-bp5li]

The narcissists I was seeing would get upset when I started mirroring their exact behaviors. When he ghosted me I would do the very same😂

[@heidijones7670]

That's what I did I mirrored no texting for 3 days and ended the relationship before he had chance to disgard me boom ave some of that haha that was a year ago not been In a relationship since

[@suzanne4396]

Same. When I could fel his devaluing was amping up, getting toward discard I'd block & ghost him. Really messed with his little pea-brain!

[@Mocheesemoeugene]

Quickest way to get rid of them is mimic their behavior before they get leverage on you. But never should we mimic their deplorable behavior( just a petty behavior) like not responding back to them or be silent with them for long periods of time. They can't stand it. When you stop talking they become nervous ,because they think you're on to them, which you are. Even if you aren't they ask a million stupid questions like what's wrong why aren't you talking? Just answer them by saying I'm just in deep thought.BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE

[@prayntongues]

I thought the narc was as affectionate as me but one day I wasn’t feeling well and he acted like he wasn’t feeling well too. That’s when I realized that MF was mirroring me so I tested my suspicion. The next time he came around I was so sweet and loving. So was he. The next time I acted indifferent, little eye contact, no smiling. He never asked me if something was wrong or if I was ok. It really made me feel like a dummy. So the next time, I mirrored him and he acted uncomfortable and didn’t stick around. These people are evil in a meat suit. They have no soul

[@Ebthehousesitter]

🙋🏾‍♀️Silent treatment. He would get so unhinged that he’d start talking to himself. That’s when I knew two could NOT play this game. They are so fragile.

[@returntosender2]

They text you, leaving you feeling a sense of emergency to respond no matter what you are doing and when you text them they don't respond. It's a crazy circus act. You have to respond to them asap, but they take all the time in the world to respond if they even decide to.

[@RobertWildchildCarobene]

Bingo you said it!

[@danceandmore88]

I knew someone who would call me at random times, most of the time I couldn't answer the phone because I was working or in the company of other people, we also had completely different schedules and lived in different countries. They would only call once, they never tried to reach me again on the same day, and they also wouldn't reply when I texted them. Incredibly annoying, back then I didn't know anything about narcissism, it would have saved me a lot of time and energy. Like someone else here commented, the best way of dealing with narcissists is not dealing with them.

[@jasibae00]

YES!!!!

[@Viky_00]

This happened to me too

[@P0RTAL_DARKO]

This is my ex 100%

[@BecketteW]

No contact is effective against the narcissist. “Okay, thanks!” is a neutral response that sends them over the edge 😁

[@godschildyes]

I will remember that! Thank you for that. 😀🙏💜

[@fivedee5D]

I wish ‘ok thanks’ worked. Being acknowledged usually brings on even MORE texts. 😢😮

[@binaboop1]

@@fivedee5DI usually just send a thumbs up to each follow up till they get that I am not going to engage

[@captainskye7983]

Is that the "kill them with kindness" 😏💯

[@leannechandley6282]

I’ve blocked my narc ex on everything and it’s driving him insane! 15 yrs of crap I’ve put up with from him…not anymore satan 😂

[@drebaselius9160]

"They make you feel ignored." Then gaslight by saying you do it to them. Diabolical!

[@AJG75]

The narcissist will never ask about You, they are happy to talk about themselves . The initial msg might ask how you are doing but once into the convo they keep talking about themselves only.

[@Star-fe8ch]

Yep this is it. They only initially ask to get info on you to use against you later

[@Toriboo151]

Facts, will literally ask how you are doing, and will cut you off immediately with what they want to talk about which is themselves. Will literally keep you on the phone for hours only talking about them. You can change the subject multiple times too it doesn’t stop.

[@Bacinta900]

This is so true…I would listen to him for hours and hours, and when it came time that I wanted to share a brief story, he flat out told me, “no one wants to hear your story.” No respect. No wanting to know me as a person. No care for feelings. After all of the hours of listening, he could not give me five minutes. He blamed me for getting upset and then turned it on me-saying how I always acted like a victim. We didn’t last too much longer after that. It’s a terrible feeling when someone says they care about you, but their actions prove otherwise…7 months out of that relationship and it still hurts.

[@Toriboo151]

@@Bacinta900 this entire post‼️and it never fails that when you have a reaction to their poor behavior, now it’s your fault and you are the victim for not blatantly taking abuse from them.

[@Star-fe8ch]

@@Bacinta900 that's so cruel I know what your talking about. Hope he's behind and out of your life now 🙏

[@alexas.5287]

The rare heartfelt conversation one is so spot-on. For not only texting but also in person. The quickest way to spot a narc is to have one of these discussions, watch the narc emphatically agree with your feelings and promise to honor your triggers and/or not do the same upsetting behaviors, and then slowly or even immediately afterwards they intentionally hurt you. I had an incident where I shared a trigger I had never told my n-ex and they actually used it against me. My vulnerability became their weapon. Be very careful about how much you open up to someone in the beginning of a romantic relationship.

[@colleenshea2293]

Your vulnerablity will always be the narcs weapon. I no longer share anything of importance with a narc.

[@normafoster1959]

What planet do you live on? Planet stuck on the phone all day with a huge Asian Family in the house. OK. This is another world, enjoy that. Most healthy people don't live that weird life.

[@shibaartista4274]

I was on a 1st date. I told him an embarrassing event that caused me to stop drinking. On the way home, he brought up the embarrassing event as a joke! 😮 Then he invited me on a 2nd date to a bar . ( to derail my alcohol free life) I immediately caught the mental abuse & high tailed it out of there. 😡

[@alexas.5287]

@@shibaartista4274 Yep, that sounds spot on for disgusting narc behavior. They also often love to play off these behaviors as a joke… they’ll tell you it was all in jest, and to “lighten up” or “not take everything so seriously.” The way they use humor to hurt people is really malicious. I’m glad you didn’t stand for the BS and left before it got worse.

[@nichole_exposing_unseen_enemy]

If in dating phase, be vulnerable and open to test them and see if it get used against you - if so - test served its purpose then drop that narc like a hot cakes, run out of there and go "no contact"

[@madalynnmccarron4590]

the heartfelt conversation, then returning to being left hanging constantly... that really does something to you man

[@davidsalo8397]

They are sneaky evil people. The games they play aren't humane. They should be reported to a Humane Society database so we can avoid them altogether.

[@sylviamyer3454]

Yes!! This

[@HooLeeYo]

I lived with a woman who was like this. She was my sister in law. One night, I was out on a date, at a movie theater, and I got a text saying "Please text me!! Please call!! My son hurt himself and I need to go to the hospital!" I get up from my seat mid movie, frantic, heart beating fast, and call her. I asked her what happened, and she replied, "I lied, sorry, I just wanted you to call me back." That was the straw that broke the camels back for me, after all she has done in addition. I moved out the NEXT DAY and went no contact. It's been 4 years now, and I don't regret it.

[@sharonbrennan6299]

If you don't reply to a narc when they expect, they assume you are a liar..They can't have a mature conversation without drama.Block them it's that simple 👍

[@iamhereok]

It's my husband, and I have blocked him

[@PoojaGupta-zi7om]

Yes if I say I'm having a headache she will say same. If I say I'm going for shopping today she will say same. I mean you dong hv any identity or what????

[@LeslieBurton-je4zp]

Completely agree 👍 if she didn't answer the phone it was fine , if I missed a call it was like an explosion had happened 😢 why was I so stupid 😢

[@MetalSStar196]

If they assume I'm a liar, I start lying off the top of my head with truth mixed in because I know that's how I can get anyone to believe me. IF the lie is plausible enough, they have no way of questioning it. This one narcissist I'm currently in the middle of conning is a vulnerable type who I don't actually feel sorry for, but whose company I'd enjoy just for the Saturday and Sunday before completely reporting and blocking their account.

[@jenniferfrazier8131]

No. It’s not.

[@elizabethschrier1344]

Narcissists in my personal opinion are diabolical and sadistic. At least the narcissist I was married to is diabolical and very sadistic. I was starting to really think I was crazy. He showed me exactly what love isn't. He was cheating on me with his 1st ex-wife. He always tried to isolate me even from my family. My self-esteem was shot when I left him. I'm still recovering from narcissistic abuse. I thank God every day that I'm out of that abusive marriage from hell

[@GenerationX1984]

Psychologists have proven that hardships make most people more naive. The narcissist knows this and will make your life harder so that you are easier to manipulate. There is strength in being skeptical. When dealing with a narcissist full blown cynicism is your greatest weapon. Never believe anything they say for any reason even if it seems correct. I dealt with a narcissist once and the moment I became unbelievably cynical and negative and emotionally detached from their crap they left. I never saw or heard from them again. It's like they ran away scared. It was amazing!

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

@@GenerationX1984 so on point man. My ex wife narc found ways to make life difficult just for attention and lied about everything! Crazy how people go through life like this. I’m still recovering from it all!

[@rusroutern]

You are courageous and fearless woman. Full recovery comes with practicing self-love every day. Tell good things to yourself looking at the mirror and give yourself big loving smiles in front of the mirror every day. Be relentless in moving away from the abusive past and under no circumstances change you behavior trying to come back. Honor yourself and your time.

[@bakerwannabe4435]

Sorry this happened! You deserve better- much better.

[@AlexWhiteUkraine]

There is a KZbin channel where a woman who had a narcissistic abusive marriage helps other women to recover. I hope it will help you! 🙏 Here it is: kzbin.info

[@ArilenaMoon]

They really only respond immediately if they want/need something from you. Otherwise they'll leave you hanging. Another typical thing you see is a complete lack of interest and engagement when you are sharing anything about your life. They'll etiher not respond or respond with something generic. But once it's their turn to talk, there will be text after text.

[@navimarlow]

Spot on!!

[@thedigitaljide]

Reallll

[@thedigitaljide]

So real

[@Ray-yh7ng]

True

[@majaza45]

There was always a reason for not responding to texts but when it came to needing something or arguing, they were available 24/7

[@laura-2]

The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

[@cgordon1386]

[@staciehulm4595]

My narc hooked me with music. He'd text song after song . He knew the kind of music I liked and used other people's words (lyrics) to draw me into the trauma bond. Most modern musical lyrics are narcissistic just like the people who write and/or perform them. Plus, music waves sync with our brain waves, so this is a powerful tool the narc can use to hypnotize you into the shared fantasy. Beware of manipulation by music.

[@allieeverett9017]

This is the first time to hear this, but I experienced it. One of the 1st red flags was one night he sent a bunch of music CLEARLY not meant for me. I called him out...who was it meant for. I did this a lot. After 6 weeks I got the big discard (didn't know what it was at the time). A blessing I didn't adore him enough 😉

[@amandachilds5290]

Mine did this to younger women he tried to groom and with music he didn't t even like. They like to use whatever they can to get you to sort of open up and work against yourself and eventually the patterns are so ingrained you gaslight yourself and trigger cycles on your own almost. If you are really moral and kind they love to use your kindness and morality against you. They love to get you to break your own moral boundaries out of empathy and bonding to them. They love to get moral people into affairs they feel sad and depressed about and especially women who have been cheated on because they know how bad it feels to be on the other end and they then bond over commiserating over their own disappointing behavior. They cry about how bad they feel about getting what they need from each other. It is very easy to see by those on the outside but those in it cannot escape. It's very gross. Mine did this with older women who were broken and vulnerable and the younger ones were just naive and the thing is they love when others give them benefit of doubt and rationalize or make we excuses. Also, if you love art or poetry they will mimic what you like and claim they like it and send those to you to illicit a positive emotion in you. Finally, this video is right, if you are very sexual they will go that route but if you aren't and are an activist, like mine got obsessed with an anti- abortion girl and just started to consume as much of their info and videos and pamphlets as possible. They are chameleons this way and like he said know how to push buttons. They do it with lots of people and only some respond at any given time so it's a numbers game and mine even kept spreadsheets of interactions and notes on different people to not confuse himself or narratives but would inevitably screw up and smart and self confident women would call him out and move on. The ones who grew up making excuses for their families and friends tend to stay and get hooked and because they want to see the good or are just ok with it because they believe they misunderstood or got it wrong if they aren't the best at remembering. Once I realized how calculated and diabolical and unable to stop he was, I was done. It wasn't safe and he wasn't well and I didn't need that around me and my family and he wanted his freedom to keep up his sick addictions. That's what it is a sick addiction to getting supply and attention in a disordered behavioral way that translates so deeply it is like they really do not have a personality so to say it is a personality disorder is sort of wrong and even experts like Dr. Sam Vaknin point this out. It's very True.

[@diamondonpurpose9145]

This is so true. I've been there

[@kirsikka3752]

My ex narc plays the same love songs to every woman. He makes a romantic scene and stares in the eyes and makes few tears to demonstrate how much in love he is and how sensitive he is.

[@swiftkarma4436]

I had the same experience. I love all types of music. Narcs are shells that lower entities inhabit. I only wasted 3 months time. once I got ignored by text I made sure it was permanent.

[@heatnicoleher]

It took weeks of no contact to stop feeling anxiety when my phone got a text.

[@stephanieann9770]

I changed their contact name to something comical and it helped me not have anxiety from it as much. Before that I wasn't able to use my phone because of the anxiety.

[@snicksabea]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@shalotthazzard7010]

@@stephanieann9770 great idea!

[@mikea1534]

Jealous of you, took me over a year because of her

[@RD-yc6dg]

Know exactly what you mean, they leave you in the state of emotional starvation in these long delays. I was very hard for me to understand why someone would do this deliberately and strategically.

[@Edward_Strong1982]

I definitely experienced this. It doesn’t matter if I was asleep, at work, or in a meeting . If he needed to talk to me, he would call or text regardless. Doesn’t matter how much I expressed my displeasure, he would still do it. By the end of the relationship my anxiety and stress was through the roof. Anytime he called or texted me I instantly thought something was wrong. It was terrible living like that.

[@jannaurban822]

All of it! It was as if you used my relationship as a case study to make this video! I said those exact things exact things "Babe, in the beginning, you liked it when we sent all of these hyper sexual texts" "What changed for you?" "if I'm being too much just let me know." "I don't want to make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, or any kind of way other than I love you." Meanwhile, I am feeling shame. I am feeling unseen. I am feeling unheard. I am feeling unloved. I am feeling like I have to make myself small in this man's presence so that he will stay! The worst part about it is none of that was me. None of that is me and new friends and new connections only saw that part of me and watched me lose my self and spiral out of control. I'm back! I'm better! I'm stronger! Most of all, I am smarter! but there's still that tiny little voice in my head that thinks I wish they didn't think I was crazy because I'm not... Eventually I will quiet that voice to.💪❤

[@sassylanab702]

Very well spoken…. I’m so happy I knew what to look for in my previous situationship . It takes time to see these things but your heart and a woman’s intuition will always kick in💕

[@PatriciaKanavy]

Same! I barely recognized myself. I did not like the person I had become and I blamed myself for a long time. I still can’t believe how badly he affected me.

[@cgordon1386]

Congrats, rent that no more of your head space.

[@thehotcoffeehouse6081]

The silent treatment via text is the worst

[@meeperbird]

Is it though?

[@kylielogan8771]

When your still actively in the relationship silent treatment is emotional abuse! Best to block, delete and no contact, unless they are stalking!

[@meeperbird]

@@kylielogan8771 as Dwight Schrute says, it’s slapping someone with silence.

[@amandachilds5290]

@@kylielogan8771 oh I took it as silent treatment by text is nothing compared to in person say stuck in an RV with someone nearly 24/7 for months at a time. It's pretty obvious and more hurtful than silent treatment by text. But to each his own...

[@llkellenba]

I have adult sisters who use silent treatment extensively-it’s so weird. One will disappear for months then randomly text asking for something super chatty as if we’d never stopped communicating and the other punishes for some irritation or perceived offense for years with silence (while chatting up other extended family members) then pops up as if nothing had ever happened. I moved to town and she didn’t see my home until 2 years later. Lives 5 miles away. There’s much more to the family story, but we’re older people and this interaction pattern just sooooo … weird.

[@meeperbird]

So true and so concise! He expected a selfie every day. I have a job and a life and we’re 50 years old what jackass takes a selfie every day?

[@BlueJeansandJellyBeans]

Lmao🤣...true. A narc does apparently!

[@Dj.D25]

Do all those Instagram "influencers" count? It's kind of ridiculous how there's so many women there and other social media constantly posting selfies and usually they aren't doing anything particular or being anywhere that interesting.

[@meeperbird]

@@Dj.D25 I know it’s normal now for 16 year olds to take selfies but he’s 52 snapping one every single day grinning like a jackass.

[@JesusIsTheWay.Truth.Life.]

My ex-jackass did. I'd get selfies and videos of him all day long. I thought it was pretty weird, coming from a guy. I was in my 50's and had never taken a selfie in my life...but he expected them on demand. Insisting that I take it immediately so that he'd know what I looked like at that very moment. What a crock of 💩.

[@FC-fx7zu]

Exactly. What asshole doesn't respect that other people have JOBS! That is the hugest red flag I've seen of many from the last narcissist.. Such a sad existence.

[@videowilliams]

I only ever got short "I'm too busy to talk to you properly" type texts until I stepped outside of what they wanted from me, and then I got huge screeds of abuse. So they were capable of answering long but only when I "malfunctioned".

[@peaknonsense2041]

No one should be texting arguments while someone is working. This includes you.

[@videowilliams]

@@peaknonsense2041 They weren't working 24/7, they were acting superior. Dolt.

[@peaknonsense2041]

@videowilliams Good. I hope your healing continues. I'm still trying to discern if my wife is one or if these are just bad habits. It's hard to discern, but thus far it's not looking good for my family in my research.

[@EllieM_Travels]

They also mask, lie, and gaslight you if you try to bring up any of their bad behaviors. They’ll swear they were just super busy with work, not ignoring you, but you know better.

[@NickBB]

that was mine, claimed she was so busy at work that she couldn't take 10 seconds to text me was pure BS lie for control

[@jaketheman091]

What I've learned is that their devaluation doesn't necessarily mean outright ridicule or putting you down, rather, it means once they "have" you, you are no longer a sufficient means of stimulation for them, and so their "effort" toward you stops, but also, you slowly begin to realize that they've taken you for granted all this time, regardless whether or not you felt your feelings were reciprocated. The biggest takeaway is that they're not honest with you in the same way they aren't with themselves. They let you down in more ways than one and leave you clinging to hope, all the while they still expect you to be in their lives, completely unfazed by how they treat you.

[@SkyePhoenix]

It's because we aren't human to them. We are objects to be used, abused and discarded for something shiny and new.

[@eljay6578]

Oh but they DO know. Not good at apologizing either. Sweeps everything under the carpet. No real discussion to see what went wrong. No accountability. It’s sad

[@klb1956]

Truth!!!

[@smarcel1]

This. Very well said sir.

[@antisocialbutterfly7012]

So true!

[@kgodsgirl]

Silly me😩I remember thinking he was so into me. It was all about him controlling me. Thank God, that’s over ☺️

[@alanalycan3986]

Well done girl ☺️ 💐

[@enjolique367]

Been there

[@angelakeely5859]

Just remember they are master manipulates, don't blame yourself

[@sophiejohn7394]

It’s great you realized you are better off without him! :)

[@No_timezone77]

Been there too

[@elenabecker1843]

Every one hit home. Thanks for the info. I’m new to the realization that I am married to a narcissist. We are starting the divorce process. It’s unreal what you can excuse away when you are manipulated constantly.

[@jaysonwashington8787]

And then you have nothing. I didn't realize something as small as drinking a coffee in the morning could turn into an issue and be taken away forever

[@j4blaser]

@@jaysonwashington8787what do you mean?

[@jaysonwashington8787]

@j4blaser we had our thing, every morning we'd have coffee or tea etc. Sometimes decafinated. One day I said, I really enjoy the simple things, having a morning coffee a 10-15 min conversation to start the day. She bought me a smiley face coffee cup. Not even a month later (after having coffee every morning for a year + when we lived together, it ended. She'd wake up early and purposely go places. She'd say she didn't want coffee. She would call friends to come over and have coffee with her, but never with me. This lasted for 3 months and once a month I'd ask to go to Starbucks etc and always got a NO. I just made excuses and believed her lies and excuses every single time. It's ridiculous how they take away all and make you accept it. Something as simple as a cup of coffee, I never had again with her ever. The more I think about it, the more I agree with the run don't walk away from these demons.

[@Javs7_7_7]

@@jaysonwashington8787 Exactly happened to me, but with me was with that I was washing my face too regularly and literally told me that she didn’t want me to put body lotion after a shower because she would LOSE it if she found out, like angry and threatening if it happened again. Pretty much telling me what and what not to do with my body but she had no rules to apply to her because she was the narc queen. BIZARRE!

[@jaysonwashington8787]

@Javs7_7_7 they just find a reason to get angry. They want to be angry. If they were indifferent they would have no feelings. It's sad. Just go no contact and you'll heal. Thank you for your comment. Today is the best day!

[@lindabidwell6722]

I think one misconception we have is that the narcissist is AWARE they are narcissistic. They are not. Therein lies the rub.

[@jennicholson7976]

Agreed. They genuinely believe they are entitled.

[@suelong9523]

And mine actually believes he's "the most thoughtful person he knows", lol 😂

[@manifestorthroughlove]

Mine is actually a therapist who horribly screws over her patients. It's so disturbing. She thinks she's their savior

[@Rachel-cv4nj]

My Narc is aware. We are doctors. He doesn't care to change though.

[@MaryAX]

There are definitely varying levels of delulu. Some deep down know they are worthless and hateful per their own manifestation. Imagine they hit you with a "after everything I've done for you...." aka after everything I've done to ruin you, trust me it was such hard work. 😂🚩

[@NikiSchap]

He would have patterns like texting in the morning over coffee and then one morning break it with no explanation. Same with nighttime rituals. But the worst was the way my body would react to each hour that passed without hearing from him. The anxiety and hoping each text was from him and the utter devastation each time it wasn’t. I felt myself get annoyed with the other people texting me. Then as soon as I’d get that one little breadcrumb text from him all was right in the world again.

[@greener3922]

Oh my god, you described my pain right there. I've completely repressed these memories. It started with extreme love bombing, oh she made me feel so special. Then slowly the games started. Thank god it only lasted two months, I got so anxious and clingy, it drove me insane! She kept coming back, trying to get me hooked again, she really thinks I am her property. I made the mistake to unblock her after a while. Nope, never again. Blocking her till I die :)

[@1god2savem37]

Oh my God. This is all too relatable. All of this comment. I've gone thru and felt it all! I thought I was the only one! Whoa.

[@lolitis01]

I know that exactly how that anxiety felt. Sadly I spent years in that situation. And I'm not going to say that we aren't dealing with narcissists here, but we should also question our own co-dependant or clingy behavior if we want to learn and better ourselves, at least I did.

[@alingrace6177]

I know the feeling and I thank Jesus for helping me get free from this person.

[@enlightenedjade]

It’s literally the worst feeling in the world and you end up not even replying to other people because you don’t want to get any other texts that aren’t from them!

[@Steve-gc5nt]

Don't ever let a narcissist dictate. They'll plan everything in their head about how you'll react. Learn to recognise that and don't go along with it. It drives them crazy.

[@hcJUL]

Thats true! Be unpredictable in your own actions. It drives them crazy and mad :D

[@zzzcocopepe]

I've found that they actually prefer that you do this. If you don't do this, and you engage with them, they will actually be mad at you. They want you to detach. I don't know why, they feel like they have to make people detach. It's part of their "plan" as you put it. Because once you detach, they will also detach. But if you don't detach, if you refuse to, they will say "wtf is wrong with you?" Like... they think we are *supposed* to detach. We're not supposed to. We only do that because that is what gets them to stop harassing us. But we would prefer that they actually heal and stop behaving this way. We have to detach because they simply do not realize there are other ways of resolving the conflict. And if they disagree, they will abuse. So, because they're abusing, we have to first defend ourselves. Then once we do that, we can then work on healing them. So it is important to still detach, because they defends us from their abuse.

[@whatsappscambot1802]

@@zzzcocopepe I haven't experienced anything like being physically violent to narcissist. Nothing traumatizes them like committing violent felonies against them with no regard to prison time. I haven't seen a more effective response to a narcissist than an evil and violent response. And it feels amazing! It can easily lead to abusing the narcissist, but there's no need to care about that or the narcissist's emotions. They're sub-human anyways.

[@sarahatchell5725]

That’s exactly true! 😅

[@dark7angel456]

I tried this a few times, they really do get mad. Not dates, just random narc people

[@TradeForexwithPaul]

Literally going through the majority of these at the moment. Thank you from keeping me from thinking I'm going crazy. The manipulation is absolutely unreal.

[@rhondakimbrough4343]

The narc I dated…always ran into any bathroom so he can text others with his phone, I acted like I didn’t know, so I was discovering so many patterns.

[@cgordon1386]

Oh yes, kick it to the curb.

[@nightmareappliance]

Exactly what you said. My ex narc would “temp check” me with a text and when I responded to his text he would disappear. It was frustrating and really made me confused and hurt.

[@julieangle9721]

Lol, mine did this also, an hour or two later he'd check back in, glad I checked out 💯

[@amandachilds5290]

They do it to know they still exist. It is always to know that they do exist to you and you will reply. In some way. The best way to handle it is to reply, "Yes I still exist and so do you". And nothing more. It is the most basic info you can give and still grey rock if you don't feel good going total No contact or can't go NC for some reason.

[@julieangle9721]

@@amandachilds5290 may I ask for you to share some of your experiences to relate to what you've been through, please and thanks cause finding some common ground and to feel we are not all alone in this 😊❤

[@amandachilds5290]

@@julieangle9721 I have some more details in my replies to Daring Greatly 84 and Stacie Hulm, the girl who mentioned she got hooked into relationship through music the narcissist would send her. I hope those help. My situation was maybe more severe and dangerous than most but I found that this video was very accurate and that many comments were also. I made one more comment about silent treatment in person being worse than via texting but can't figure out where. The "how are you", "what do you want" or "are you oks"after 20 + years of marriage and then blindsided estrangement is like the person said a temp check. It's like REALLY? Umm where should I begin. But don't fall for it. Give yourself closure by writing or typing every thing you want to say in an email and then do not send it to them. Send it to yourself and one day you will start to say less and it will just feel like nope no need to even think of a reply and you will give yourself a type of closure. They don't really care and can't care about anyone other than themselves so no point trying much once you truly believe they are NPD or NPD with comorbidities. Once you realize it is the only thing that really fits and nearly impossible to treat you can stop having hope. It's the hope that really bonds you and is the thing you really have to break up with to save yourself and that's truly sad but facts. Even if you are wrong and they are BPD or schizoeffective etc...it doesn't matter because you have come to a place to recognize the abuse and must decide to protect yourself and avoid that in the future. The longer the relationship the longer it takes to recover and there are no quick remedies. Forgive yourself first and learn to love and take care of yourself 💖

[@julieangle9721]

@@amandachilds5290 thanks for sharing 👍🙏 ,you made me realize the reason he checked in so frequently wasn't about me most likely but about himself, oh and also I noticed later in the relationship that became more less frequent before the discard phase, he was good at many things including ghosting 🙄

[@genxx2724]

I dated a narcissist who bragged about all the nice things he did for his mother, his sisters, his friends. He was super reliable and always there for them. According to him, anyway. I realized he was getting credit from me for being reliable toward them. I let my defenses down and trusted him because I thought he’d be there for me, too. But he didn’t come through for me when I had a problem. I think he purposely manipulated me into trusting him.

[@SkyePhoenix]

Yep!

[@MsSweets0211]

Same thing happened to me. They are sick demons

[@MedusasSnakePit]

Same.

[@laurenburns7668]

Exact same. Mine even had a spiel he gave to everyone about how he has 4 sisters and was raised by a single Mom that he gave to EVERYONE but especially women to get them to trust him.

[@steelbeachsiren]

yep...

[@apekshaaggarwal8533]

Danish your videos remind me of all the pain I went through. It’s exactly the same you explained and not even a bit different. I am so thankful to God I am in a good head space and was able to break the trauma bond with him!

[@shreyasanghvi8120]

Thank you Danish for sheer, pure enlightenment!! I could relate to EVERY SINGLE POINT you mentioned. Thankfully, I’m almost healed from the narcissistic abuse of that demon. No contact, blocked everywhere. What you said is spot on about his Texting habits. Okay he used to end texts in a typical style, which is with these punctuations ..! That doesn’t make sense but it’s how he ended a sentence claiming that he uses it with “ppl who are his favourite..!” But he legit did all the 5 texting points you mentioned. And in addition, he would more than often TALK over call, just to amp up his game, make it more personal, serve his purpose fasterrrr

[@nathanwhiting5475]

The way I realized someone was a narcissist was that I started acting the same way towards her that she did towards me, and realized that I was acting like a narcissist. I almost thought I was one for a while until I recognized that I only had this behavior towards her.

[@anitas5817]

Exactly. I just blocked my narc coworker and I was sorting out whether that was me acting inappropriately toward her or just setting a healthy boundary. I decided it’s the latter - I have never blocked another person. And I feel so much relief.

[@mshamamci]

I did the same for a day, and I can't tell you how good it felt initially seeing her in panic and working very hard to control the situation only to realize that her attempts were in vain. She felt absolutely weak that day. But seeing her like that made me regret what I did and told myself she couldn't be doing this on purpose everyday. Because as an empath person I had no idea such a person could exist (I wasn't aware she was a narc at that time). I decided not to do it again because I was feeling so bad for doing such a horrible thing. Man it got way worse after I let her abuse me again. I am so glad we broke up and going no contact in any kind of form. It doesn't matter how beautiful looking she is, nothing is worth it if it makes me feel down and weak.

[@wize-kaizz]

A narcissist wouldn't even care enough to ask himself/herself if they're narcissistic or not. They believe that the other person is the problem, not themselves. They think the greatest thing since sliced bread. Very few have been medically diagnosed properly with narcissism. Those who choose to seek medical help only do it for further manipulation. Glad you managed to quickly escape that relationship you was in.

[@tulip811]

Same!

[@ChristianSoldier71]

CAUTION!!! Hell is real!!!! Your soul is the "real you". When your body dies, your soul will continue to live forever, in Heaven or in Hell. We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus Christ loves you and He died for your sins. If you will REPENT of your sinful life and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe in and follow the gospel, you will be saved and your name will be written into the Book of Life. Revelation 20:15 Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire... "Confession Prayer" (Repeat Aloud) Father God, I come to you, to confess that I am a sinner. I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and I repent of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He arose from the grave and that He is alive today. I ask that you forgive me of my sins. I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. AMEN...

[@vkrgfan]

There is one thing you don’t get from Narcissist is consistency, they are all over the place and it is always about them. Even if they ask you how you are doing genuinely they don’t want to know, they forget what you’ve told them if they remember they will go telling others what you’ve told them. Unfortunately many people pick up on narcissistic tendencies and behaviour through social media even if they don’t have actual disorder they learn from others to mistreat.

[@Eli-akad]

That last part is really important. One thing I been noticing lately is alot of people are developing their morality and characteristics based on the internet. A lot of people don’t have the ability (from what I noticed overtime) to think critically or have a strong sense of self. This is why I’m starting to notice these qualities in more n more people

[@vkrgfan]

@@Eli-akad Yep, social media rewards narcissism.

[@user-ns2rj8wu3d]

Yes! Especially about last part. In texting some people behave in a way they didn't in real life. One example: ask a friend from a past, how is he... and when he replied with 4 small different points about himself,- then they ignore ALL that he said about himself just reply with some poins about their life. When the friend asks some follow up questions about what they just told about themselves,- they ignore his questions... And for some reason consider such behavior in texting good enought. Even though they didn't behave in such way in real life. == In this example was one more part: after some not long time that friend mentioned that they didn't reply to his answers and qestions. The answer was NOT "what did I skipped?" It was totally sure unswer that they replied to everything and that is smth. wrong with his memory.

[@arco4936]

I agree coming from narcissistic parents

[@jkies11]

LOL, one of my narc's favorite statements to me was, "You're all over the place." or "I'm confused". In other words, "I'm a mess and I hate that you're not!"

[@brandiclark4833]

Oh my goodness. You hit this spot on with every word. You have me over here crying my eyes out. I do wonder often why we can't just go back to the way it was in the beginning. Much much happier days.😢

[@TheVaultwest]

Everything you mentioned I’ve experienced with the narcissist. It’s amazing how right on you are about their texting behaviors. Early on it was the non-stop hooking me in and the possessiveness if i didn’t reply when he thought i should. Now I’m in the whiplash stage where my texts are ignored for hours. If i ignore, i get the little one-liner just to make sure I’m still listening. I finally get that i need to stop participating in this sick game and just go no contact. Thank you for validating my intuition.

[@RS54321]

'What did I do wrong that made you ignore me.' Wow, that hit hard!! I once asked a narc friend to quit staring at her phone while I was telling her something about my day. She looked up at me like I had three heads.

[@juanadrianrobaina5763]

Isnt the phone glued to their hands and eyes 24/7?? SO impolite ,sooo cold ,good riddance for real

[@edemontfort9482]

The narc I know does that continually to let me know I'm not important enough for him to stop staring at his phone, which rings constantly because everyone thinks he's a great guy. I refuse to look at him or listen to him sometimes which flips the script. They don't like that and get confused when the roles are reversed. No, it's not fun having to play games but you have to keep them off balance until you can leave.

[@rhondakimbrough4343]

I been there also

[@rhondakimbrough4343]

We had to ride buses, and he would always go to bathroom, wherever we went to text with phone cause I was with him, but I couldn’t go in, of course. And yes, there were more than that at other times. In the end days of our relationship, I had him expose all the traits that were listed, before I walked away. One at a time, and he met every trait. My heart felt so sick and I know he slandered me terribly.

[@RS54321]

@@rhondakimbrough4343 I don't get your writing. Do you mean he went into the bathroom, where you couldn't follow him, so he could text other people he was cheating with?

[@stoneesoteric]

The whole going MIA mid conversation that they started on text drove me nuts. If I didn't respond to a text right away oh man, but he could just ghost me as he pleased. I started doing the same back to him and he just started texting other girls- they can have him.

[@IslandLakeIL]

Are we dating the same guy?

[@FiiireLight]

Luckily for us, all narcissists are the same. Makes it easier to spot bullsh**.

[@inaramiller9784]

My online "bestie"pissed me to the off.

[@danidarkoxo]

same for me! He would usually disappear for 2-3 days at a time pretty often. And whenever he decided to text me with a lame “hey Dani” or whatever and I ignored it, he would call me up and ask if I’m “okay”. Like…you were the one ignoring me. Why do you care if I ignore you?

[@inaramiller9784]

@@danidarkoxo yesses!!! If I'm alright,like really?! I've been just fine the whole time you were ignoring me,at this point I just leave them on delivered for the same amount of time and by next year they won't be hearing a peep from me.

[@dominickeefe2454]

Amazing insight. Especially the intensity of the texting abuse. Then the cold cutoff at the end of the communication. It's so subtle but effective. You must get rid of them totally.

[@lucybonifazio2569]

Hi Danish, I have understood so much from your experience and knowledge. It took me 6 years to realise whom I was dealing with and I finally broke the trauma bond. I thank you with all of my heart

[@racerdan7]

Constantly sending selfies, constantly either talking down or insisting I said the wrong thing(s). It felt really good to walk away from that situation.

[@AlwaysHope2019]

right .. like what’s up with all the selfies…

[@Cola.Cube.]

My bro in law tries to pride himself on his intelligence, but it is all an act, his big mistake is that he thinks nobody can notice it, he brings up technical conversations about science and stuff for no reason other than to appear intelligent, he uses big words and has the audacity to explain the meanings of those words like i dont know what the word means, but he has a learning disability that he doesnt realise i know about, and when he explains the meaning of words in his orations, i ask him to spell the words, and he cant, and i just laugh out loud, hes a major gobshite.

[@peaknonsense2041]

@@AlwaysHope2019 Narccists fishing for complements.

[@donibell7464]

relate with the random selfies

[@123YMR]

They also ignore texts, withholding, part of their push-pull thing they do to try to control you.

[@itsmeeandrea]

Omg this video was too accurate. It was a great informational video but I wish I knew it all before. It definitely strikes a chord when you’ve felt all of this

[@michelemacinnis]

They ask you a question. You answer the question. They never ever even click on your response.

[@IndigoRoses7]

This 110% accurate. My ex was a narcissist, and he would expect me to text him all day long, whether I was spending time with my kids, my family, busy at work, while I was driving. We've been broken up for over 2 years and he still tries to contact me and hoover, even though I've stood my ground with no contact. In 2017, i was still with this narcissist ex boyfriend - in January of that year, my dad died suddenly while he was in a rehabilitation care facility. Our family gathered there to say goodbye before the coroner removed his body. I was literally in that room, saying goodbye to my dead father and my narcissist ex was texting me non stop, asking when I'd be home so I could be home, for sex. I'll never forget that, that was when I started to really understand how selfish, horrible and narcissistic he was.. He got worse over time. If you are still with a narcissist, and reading this comment...leave this person. They will not ever change, they will not ever get better, they don't care how they've made you feel. Life is short and everyone hurting from a bad situation deserves to be free and happy.

[@abowling5759]

AMEN!!!!…… So sorry for the loss of your father and the blatant disregard for your privacy you experienced at a time like that. These narcs don’t care and they never change.

[@butterflygirl3359]

I wonder if we were with the same narc. Sounds exactly like something my ex would do.

[@traceydecker4377]

Wow ... that was terrible ... I'm glad you got out of that situation ...

[@ChristianSoldier71]

CAUTION!!! Hell is real!!!! Your soul is the "real you". When your body dies, your soul will continue to live forever, in Heaven or in Hell. We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus Christ loves you and He died for your sins. If you will REPENT of your sinful life and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe in and follow the gospel, you will be saved and your name will be written into the Book of Life. Revelation 20:15 Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire... "Confession Prayer" (Repeat Aloud) Father God, I come to you, to confess that I am a sinner. I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and I repent of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He arose from the grave and that He is alive today. I ask that you forgive me of my sins. I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. AMEN...

[@rebecca7245]

@@NyzikoI think it can mean different things for different people. For me, it means zero contact, even if they contact me. But it’s whatever works best for each individual. Most of the narcs in my life I had to completely cut out. The couple I haven’t, I personally don’t consider to be no contact, however I keep any contact that I do have to have very sparse and brief.

[@Katie16682]

The heartfelt conversations made me believe they were developing as a person and I gave them so much credit for it that I basically was lying to myself about what they were doing.

[@lonestrawberry]

"Opening up more," and "Learning to express their emotions," because they supposedly aren't that way with anyone else but you.

[@Ariannauk1]

Or you’d have a lovely conversation and you feel loved and validated and they the next day you’re ghosted for a few days and left wondering why or if you said anything wrong

[@prachianand1214]

@@lonestrawberry so on point.

[@zoyadulzura7490]

@@Ariannauk1 Yup. A friend who only wants to talk to you when they want something, with zero sense of reciprocity, is not a friend.

[@Padraigp]

Oh god yeah. 25 years i made a suggestion to try meditation in the end shes telling me in thus manic mindless word salad way how amazing meditation is blah blah blah and im like jesus theres not even any sense of the present moment with this perosn just the story they are constantly telling and retelling about themslves. And just because the story changes the person hasnt they dont shut up the mind ever and much as we all have this problem of our own mind chattering they must have their chatter in somone elses ears as well as in their own head.

[@madhuparnakarmakar7181]

Daily I listen you. Gradually, it's becoming clear. My brain fog now vanishing day by day. Thank you so much.

[@kashishdholpuria4200]

Gone through all these experiences and it shatters my heart to think about all those moments of pain. I'm still with the same person and struggling to find a way out. I hope I find peace soon.

[@cdenisewilkerson]

The sooner the better. They don’t change & aren’t worth the bs they put good people through

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

I had a problem with a narc that they were calling and texting me so much to the point that I started to get panic attacks just by hearing someone else's phone ring tone. I literally needed to not only blocked the narc but also CHANGED MY RINGTONE because the original ringtone was giving me panic.

[@Lydiadragonbourne]

Same! I literally had a physical trauma response every time my text notification went off

[@maydayitsllama]

Same!!!

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

While I was with the narc, I started to have many dreams/nightmares of an unknown intruder burglarizing my home. The dreams were extremely weird and unsettling. Sometimes it was just a common thief stealing whatever, and sometimes it was like unknown alien trying to crawl it's way inside my home. Once I cut all contact from the narc and the narc tried to called me with a different phone number and I immediately hung up, I had a dream that very same night. I was upping my home's security and masking sure everyone inside was safe, and I was waiting for the killer clown 🤡 to show up on my front yard so I can kill it. I used a pocket knife and I cut them up like a butcher prepares meat.

[@tm8147]

This thing about the nightmares/dreams is very real, when i was starting the first painful stages of the healing journey i constantly dreamed of him hurting me in someway, sometimes he transformed into a creepy demon like thing that followed me everywhere and wanted to keep me there until he decided to kill me, man i'm so glad things are done for a while now

[@AM-..]

@@tm8147very real indeed. I dreamed about a large snake, (anaconda size) Based on what happened in the dream, He is that snake.,

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

The anxiety is so real. He texts, then ignores. Says he loves me then doesn't call for data. And I just got that heartfelt text of apology. It was surprising in its earnestness. But I know he wants something. It's always that way with him. You're so right about the trauma bond.

[@IslandLakeIL]

Yep! 💯

[@thesaddestdude3575]

I somntimes leave people hanging and also somtimes just out right forget to respond to people but not for ulterior reasons im just shy even in text. Somtimes i open a text dont know what to respond go do somthing else and then just forget to respond at all.

[@PridelessChickz]

@@thesaddestdude3575 That happens to me too. After going through a LOT of trauma, socializing & keeping up with conversations has been very difficult. The more I pray and lean on Jesus Christ, the faster I heal, thank God. God bless you in Jesus' name. I hope you get better and the spirit of Stress leaves you alone❤

[@arthurderas8056]

I’m sorry, sister. I don’t know how long you have been with him, but if it’s feeling too complex, it already is. There is no healing someone who has so many defense mechanisms and traps to keep themselves from having a vulnerable experience unless they disarm them themselves … that’s not for you to spend the next three years of your young life just to take four steps back.

[@ThimbleFox350]

@@thesaddestdude3575 same but with the narc its different and you can tell it is malicious after spending time with one

[@Grouse2275]

You’ve covered this so well from the texting perspective….. totally spot on!!

[@Melva-Tjong]

Thanks for sharing Denis. You always shared useful information and awareness. You hit a nail on the head.

[@PaperMario64]

This video was spot on. I have nothing to add except the length of their response is often tied to how much they think they have you locked in. If they know you’re all in, you’ll get small responses. If they feel you pulling away or they are losing their grip, you’ll get this long responses and engagement.

[@matrixglitch4664]

well i hope this is true because then he thinks he has me locked in BUT I AM NOT .. i look forward to his tantrums and meltdowns.. because as soon as he starts doing that .. i will block.. only making them worse. bastard. we should have a website where we name off and expose ALL NARC PSYCHOS... who is with me?

[@rainevinyaya756]

So true

[@ALGARIC]

True and real

[@sheiladay-od2me]

What we learn from narcissists is that a relationship is reciprocal or it is not. If it is not, just get out. Thank you for this video. It breaks down in detail how people become trauma bonded.

[@broeklien3817]

You are right I thought I was her friend, just trying to help her situation but not expecting anything in return. I figured out later that that does not qualify as friendship. More as being in service of them. So maybe I mislead her by saying I was her friend, because I should have held her accountable if I really cared about a friendship. I guess being a narcissists supply is a form of egoism. Like the friends of people who flop horribly at ‘America’s got talent’ shows, they could have stopped them from failing so publicly if they had been more honest friends.

[@beingpallavi3272]

Yaaaaa.......so much trauma bonded that we don't deserve love & that their family,relatives,friends were the only good people in the world especially when they were all siding up with that narc😂😂😂😂 My goodness, I am trauma bonded- in a good process of breaking the pattern..... Gosh! It's all about they & their's.

[@thetruecrimeconnoisseur]

A narc can reciprocate very well! Beware!

[@selfesteem3447]

Just remember, it's always reciprocal... as per during the love Bombing so expect to be loved bombed and Regardless if you know someone is a narcissist or not- YET Watch out for the red flags and for them to flip their switch after the love bombing stage. And in their response of flipping, dropping the mask, when it happens, act like you don't care that it happened. Say OK no problem, got to go, Tell them you're busy. Don't let them get a word in, cut them off immediately & give the narcissist absolutely no more of your time & emotions. Go no contact & do not look back. Move on.

[@Dansteindler]

100% DEAD ON, BRO!!! I'm blown away about how accurate this video is for my current situation. It's painful.

[@wasifwasif1858]

Danish, your analysis is 100% true and enlightening.

[@yaranaber7434]

You just explained the last 4 years of my life. I thought that I was going crazy because I'm always confused and don't understand why the person acts like this.

[@thenameisA]

Same 🙌 thank you for putting it into words

[@annabejko4803]

Same here omg 4 year's of my life.

[@xsuzannex]

5 years for me, exhausting and emotionally draining. I thought I was going crazy

[@Ashley-mq3jd]

3 years. Glad it ended. I feel you.. Stay strong

[@ChristianSoldier71]

CAUTION!!! Hell is real!!!! Your soul is the "real you". When your body dies, your soul will continue to live forever, in Heaven or in Hell. We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus Christ loves you and He died for your sins. If you will REPENT of your sinful life and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe in and follow the gospel, you will be saved and your name will be written into the Book of Life. Revelation 20:15 Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire... "Confession Prayer" (Repeat Aloud) Father God, I come to you, to confess that I am a sinner. I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and I repent of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He arose from the grave and that He is alive today. I ask that you forgive me of my sins. I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. AMEN...

[@TerpsichoreanSelenophile]

They also use texting to triangulate you with other supply. Nothing is so triggering as to hear that text or Messenger notification on their phone and watch them respond to someone else right in front of you, especially while remembering how things used to be with you before the devaluation started. It's completely intentional.

[@cameogutierrez3466]

🎯💯

[@kidnap_kid]

Everything youre explaining is exactly - EXACTLY - what ive been experiencing. It took several months to figure out what was going on. Im still kind of reeling rn by how you just described - to a t - everything ive experienced but couldn't make sense of. Thank you!

[@diemarkerin]

Thanks so much for this very valuable clip. You really enabled me to see what I have been experiencing for quite a few years with very different eyes.

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

Once You see weird texting behaviour. Just block. Delete. Ignore. They’re not valued either keep it moving ❤

[@wawis231]

What if someone prefers talking and doesn't understand texting social cues too well? There's a spectrum of people and communication bound to texting is not gonna work for some ..

[@chellybabyme]

Really good advice. Don't be tempted to carry any conversation.

[@A28SSNCHZ]

Like what’s ?

[@dr.jennapetersonap3874]

Leave on read. That'll wind them up even more.

[@haselnusszweig5533]

@@wawis231 thank you !! All these people here saying if they dont Text immediatly they are bad persons shocks me honestly . Personally i hate texting. I love good conversations with my friends, but in Person ! Texting Puts me under so much stress, you always have to shorten your thoughts , have to write very quick to keep the conversation flowing, cant see how the other is understanding your Message and you cant never be Sure if you understood correctly yourself .. some people write all excited and use smileys others are the complete opposite and you have to match the energy.. or dont but then its even weirder.. i could Go on for hours haha

[@beckym8245]

All of what you have said rings so true. It's so confusing. Once you realise they're a narcissist, just move quietly into the shadows with no bold statements. Because they don't care anyway and will just shrug you off as a final piece of disregard from them. Go quietly and make your peace with yourself that you were duped by a shell of a self-absorbed individual.

[@bethrubenstein8735]

Amen!!!

[@koyo4066]

You got that right!

[@janetvanzyl6411]

Oh how easy it was for him to disregard me. And very little empathy/concern for my problems. Ignoring emotional issues I may experiencing, saying you live in a nice house, so why feel upset? He was very materialistic and always want’s lot’s of stuff. Spends all his money to buy stuff😳

[@bethrubenstein8735]

@@janetvanzyl6411 Ha...Sounds like someone I know..

[@ChristianSoldier71]

CAUTION!!! Hell is real!!!! Your soul is the "real you". When your body dies, your soul will continue to live forever, in Heaven or in Hell. We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus Christ loves you and He died for your sins. If you will REPENT of your sinful life and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe in and follow the gospel, you will be saved and your name will be written into the Book of Life. Revelation 20:15 Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire... "Confession Prayer" (Repeat Aloud) Father God, I come to you, to confess that I am a sinner. I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and I repent of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He arose from the grave and that He is alive today. I ask that you forgive me of my sins. I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. AMEN...

[@MelissaMartinezXicanaCorner]

Your entire video was 100% on point. Thank you for the validation.Truly.

[@majamidzor3801]

Dude, you’ve just got to the point of everything this person did to me and I didn’t understand what is happening as I didn’t have that experience before! Thanks🎉

[@Gracifier]

The text and disappear would happen all of the time. I started to think it was on purpose. Now I realize it was. What you said about these texting manipulations always leaving you in a place where you are unsure in the relationship is so true. He would act interested in having a conversation, and then totally the opposite sometimes a few times in just one day. It was such a terrible feeling. I remember so many times asking him to please don't leave for half an hour or more if I respond to him the same minute he wrote to me. This happened all of the time. It really makes you feel unimportant. It's weird to know it really was all on purpose in order to elicit an emotion from me.

[@joeshabe]

well, most likely he doesn't realise it, it isn't done on purpose consciously, but their narc patterns are strong and make them do it all the time without knowing why, yeah.

[@anythinganytimealways]

​@@joeshabebullshit. They 100% know what they're doing. It's 100% about them having control

[@angelaclinton9847]

Exactly 💯 ALL OF THIS

[@mattlofty5884]

That last point is so true and can set you up for the day . What’s going on ? Why’s she ignoring me? What have I done this time? Whole day of anxiety ? Can’t focus on work etc , Clumsy etc Damn it’s been 16 months since I left and I’m still putting myself back to together . So weird 🤦‍♂️

[@beebromley]

spot on, it would ruin your day totally. I have adhd but manage it well normally but him doing that would undo all of my methods for managing the adhd and I would end up missing work or messing up at work, be in the toilets crying and so on... it's been around the same amount of time for me too, and just like you, I am still so messed up, my life has stopped and I constantly try to figure out things... I hope things get better for you x

[@kristinwolf1165]

@@beebromley 100% this. I lived this way for yrs. I was so damaged. Still healing. It was not easy. But no contact is the only way to move forward. Good luck💞

[@beebromley]

@@kristinwolf1165 thank you x Yes, I'ce kept no contact since, you are absolutely right x I hope you heal too, as much as we can xx 💗💗

[@Italos1234]

You are the first person i see to discuss the matter of texting. My experience from two nacissists happen to know closely for many years, is that you are absolutely correct to what you say. Thank you for information!

[@cbeverage18]

I just found this video and needed it. I just ended a very quickly abusive narcissistic relationship, severely. Thank you, this is helping me truly realize what has happened and to not go back again. I saw some super liked comments about narcs not wanting to text, but what you described, my narc was exactly that. Exactly.

[@Smooda30]

I would send paragraphs of how I felt for one word/sentence. I was always so elaborate in expressing how I felt just to get crumbs. In the beginning it was long text and all.

[@Ughhhavery]

Same!

[@jkies11]

I felt so stupid trying to have conversations with this idiotic man-child. Just like you I would explain something and I'd get a thumbs up or a confused emoji. Once he had a real conversation with me and it was because he was high on gummies. I told him he should stay high all the time because it made him almost seem human.

[@eurekaelephant2714]

I hear you. It was the same for me. I did the same. Its normal. Please know youre not alone.

[@TiffaniHenson]

Same

[@dee7665]

Maybe you probably need to understand most men doest see the point of sending a whole lot of words I don't think that's a sign of narcissism this seem like normal relational habits between a man and woman

[@lissacablerware8475]

Never share boundaries or triggers, likes or dislikes with a narcissist. A common response to a question would be ‘k’. Simply k.

[@__________...-]

The way he responded with this "k" thing when I would pour my heart out...

[@queenalex7827]

Either they use it against you or they manipulate you with things they know will trigger you

[@brianadamec7917]

This channel has saved my life man . Thank you

[@mssavedin92]

thats incredible info! It makes so much sense and I bet there's MILLIONS out there doing that.

[@glenncowan6669]

A narcissist abuse professional is a Huge understatement!! Your really talented at this subject. Your ability to put it into words is just phenomenal .

[@Lambert7785]

basically a nightmare, the texting has been - for example, having a fun conversation, then just hanging up, and not responding for days; then repeat...

[@useyourwings793]

Totally true, i lived this exact thing. Thank you to put It in words 👏🏽

[@user-gc7io4bf6h]

Absolutely spot on mate! Experienced exactly what you said

[@cherylberk4593]

These people are exhausting! I refuse to deal with it any more. I would rather be alone than badly accompanied. After this repeated abuse your trust is finished out of self preservation. Thanks again and again for your wisdom and experience.

[@salliegallegos918]

Exactly! Solitude is sanctuary. It’s not about the ex anymore in my case. It’s about relatives, so called friends, and new acquaintances. I now recognize red flags and devaluation attempts in a heartbeat. I prefer to be alone, but at times I have the notion that I should try to socialize more. I attempt and then regret it. I’m happiest with my cats, dogs, horses, and wild birds. My children are great, and I have a few solid friendships. I don’t push myself on anyone. In social situations, I go low profile. After time in those social situations, ego seems to arrive. I’m listening to their accomplishments nonstop. Questions in the form of devaluation pop in. No thanks. People can’t be nice to one another. I’m blessed to be retired, isolated, and surrounded by nature and lots of animals. These videos keep me grounded as well as comments that validate my feelings and experiences.

[@minim3494]

When they know you are busy doing something important to you (eg: exam study) or seeing others (eg: family day) they up the texting. They want you glued to your phone. Or they text with some 'emergency'.

[@SCOUTsnipper007]

Or if you are at work they spam you with calls instead of logically saying maybe they are busy , and when you let them know they still want you to txt like buzz off in at work it’s my job and livelihood

[@amritboral4486]

U r absolutely right. Watvr u said in this vdo happened with me . All 5 points. Now I ve come out of it. Urr observation is cent per cent perfect

[@sherileenlambert2784]

Very straightforward video with clearly given explanations about narcissistic behaviours.

[@rekietabeatslc9980]

Love bombing. Constantly saying how wonderful you are-you know it seems a bit much but doesn't seem like the worst thing anyone's done. The messaging is constant in the beginning, they get into your head & tell you what you want to hear so your mind is pretty much on them all the time. They text first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and all day to the point you wonder how they can keep a job (& how you can keep yours if this keeps up.) He's so wonderful though, you're on cloud 9, no job makes you feel like this. Then you fall, & life as you know it is over. You're F-ed.

[@vallivergano239]

Damn. So true

[@antheredhen]

Exactly.. The love bombing is insane. My husband and his brother do this. Recently I learned they got it from the grand dame mommy.. She taught them everything they do..

[@Padraigp]

Wow i wish i had had that. That would have been something. All i got was can i call to tell you all the drama ive created for myself again and again and never listen to anything you have to say and for some ungodly reason i have yet to comprehend i thought that i should listen to all of that because they were my friend. But when push came to shove i realised they wouldnt have pissed on me if i was on fire. Lol.

[@Padraigp]

@@antheredhen i never had any love bombing. A little flattery some times but usually never sat well with me because it was just not true. They were all female friends. Like it was alwsys slightly patronising compliments like youre so good at drawing. Or how did you get so wise. Or i know youd understand because youre so smart. Very obvious bs flattery but we all do that at times. Never had love bombs. Just invading my space bombs which i guess to me seemed like friendship or intimacy but was actually just barging my boundaries to find my infinite patience. Well noy infinaite thank god. My ex used to always say i needed to learn patience actually...if i believe i learned anything from my narcs its that i have a lot of patience up to a point and then i have zero. Once that point is reached im donem like a band thats been stretched and stretched at some point it breaks and i have nothing left. Not a damn thing. Unfortunately i find that i am still being very nice and friendly to people who i know seem mad and seem like people i will not enjoy listening to so i hope that i actually dont get into any more of the same by not being clear and letting somone do that again. Just out of wanting friends. But friends have to be at arms length now. And im happy with that.

[@katew.176]

​@@elimoran7345stay strong. I'm no contact one month now. When they discard you, let them. It's your opportunity to leave with the least amount of hassle. If you get hoovered, the cycle will start again. Do not let that happen. Get ready to start the healing when you've gone NC.

[@doloresalmudever8222]

This is so accurate it's almost comical. It describes perfectly the experience I went through. The trauma and side effects of this type of relationships are incredibly deep, so if you are reading this and you are in a bond like this now, run away. I stayed for too long, and the price has been higher than I could ever expect. (Self-devaluation, depression, 1 year of therapy leading to psychiatric treatment... As Bashir mentioned, my biochemistry went to places I didn't have the tools to manage and I completely lost control of my life.)

[@TUPPERWARELADYCHAR]

THIS! My bad is I didn't know about this so I could have gotten my divorce before this. I feel like I need his number so I can get him to sign.

[@SamSam-id9nq]

This is so true and VERY DRAINING for me!!!🙏🏽😩😭🙏🏽

[@hendrikbarnard6855]

You are so on the spot. Thank you.

[@resilientangel5915]

My husband set up 18 camera's on the outside of our home. He also tracked 100% of my movements. He was keeping an eye, on everything. He would stop by to surprise me at work. He was irritating by calling and texting, knowing that I was busy with customers. At the end of the relationship, he would disappear. His text were no longer words. He used symbols. He had my signature on a quit claim deed to our home. Our home that we purchased during our 20 year marriage. I filed for divorce. He offered me a legal separation. I told my attorney I needed myself back, beginning with my name. I never imagined that there are humans like this guy. I'm healing. Everyone, is suspicious. I know how to back away/out of anything that's "too good to be true". My husband was the love of my lifetime. Of course he is the biggest liar I have known, too. I don't hate the man. I won't give that guy any emotion. I will, however, return his last name.

[@cm-yu6gu]

I can completely relate Sending love and healing ❤️

[@LyfeReal]

Stop lying

[@btothej7472]

Good for you! It takes alot to stay strong (So i continue to remind myself by reading comments). I wish you the best!

[@resilientangel5915]

@@btothej7472 Life is so much better. There is nothing that would draw me back into being so completely controlled.

[@cheogt4623]

You got me here: "I never imagined that there are humans like this guy. I'm healing. Everyone, is suspicious. " Exactly what i felt about my wife, when i was realizing that what was going on is that she is a narc. It took me years to find out, how silly i was, now everyone is suspicious.

[@elizabethschrier1344]

Control, control and more control is what my ex narcissist was all about. He had to always be in control at all times.

[@martytrain]

This why eventualy you will be able to see how governments and authorities also behave in Narsiccistic ways to mainyain control over its citizens via coercion and lies.

[@luvinme9271]

You are right, I been through that

[@aisha2luv464]

I'm going through this now🙏

[@ChristianSoldier71]

Hell is real!!!! Your soul is the "real you". When your body dies, your soul will continue to live forever, in Heaven or in Hell. We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus Christ loves you and He died for your sins. If you will REPENT of your sinful life and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe in and follow the gospel, you will be saved and your name will be written into the Book of Life. Revelation 20:15 Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire... "Confession Prayer" (Repeat Aloud) Father God, I come to you, to confess that I am a sinner. I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and I repent of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that He arose from the grave and that He is alive today. I ask that you forgive me of my sins. I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. AMEN...

[@arunasrinivas3860]

Danish, I have gone through every word of what you said in this video.. That devaluation handling is so tough and has completely taken over my mind that I feel so low on my confidence and am mentally paralyzed