5 Weird Ways Toxic Family Members Punish a Truthteller For Going No Contact

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5 Weird Ways Toxic Family Members Punish a Truthteller For Going No Contact // If you were raised in a toxic family, then you know full well how painful the experience can be. This is especially true if you are a truthteller cast in the role of family scapegoat.
Toxic family members will single out and target one member of the toxic family dynamic specifically, and it is onto this individual that they project all manner of unwarranted contempt, disdain, blame and shame.
What’s more is toxic family systems perpetuate generations of family dysfunction and trauma through denial, deception, gaslighting and manipulation. It’s these tactics that keep the toxic family dynamics going, long after the truthteller decides they’ve had enough and establishes no contact.
Tune in to today’s video to learn the 5 weird ways toxic family members punish a truthteller for going no contact.
Enjoy!
~ Tamie M xx
#superempath #knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
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⚜️ WHO IS TAMIE M? ⚜️
Tamie M is a Life Coach specializing in Empath Empowerment. She is an expert in the areas of codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery. She teaches people how to transform their lives through the use of many powerful healing, recovery, and ascension modalities. She does her best work with those who identify as being highly empathic, as well as those who have been cast as the family scapegoat. She is on the planet to support awakening Light Leaders to step into their personal power, divine purpose, and mission.
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[@tamiemjoyce]

Hey Friends! Thanks for watching!! If this resonated with you, you'll want to sign up for the FREE WEBCLASS I'm offering on how to heal and recover from codependency and narcissistic abuse so you NEVER fall prey to emotional manipulation and psychological abuse ever again! HERE'S THE LINK: www.tamiem.info/freeclass

[@heathergatfield667]

Lol...yeah, you say...come & join my FREE web class if you wanna heal. Well being that I was brought up by a dangerous narcissist & then married & divorced 1 that destroyed all our lives & ultimately caused our daughter to commit suicide 3yrs ago. I went to sign up. And as usually the case...you get 1 free example. Then to do any work or make any progress. You have to sign up & pay. I HATE that...at least be honest. And say, 1 free class to see if you like it. And then, if you can afford it sign up. But I CANT...so I can be the judge on if it's worth my time to see the 1st free class. But stop saying it's free...when its not free

[@keebler32ify]

@@tamiemjoyce I love your wisdom, what is your zodiac sign?

[@tamiemjoyce]

@@keebler32ify Thank you! Pisces sun. Scorpio moon. Aquarius rising.

[@keebler32ify]

@@tamiemjoyce I definitely see the Aquarius, Scorpio.... And the more i think about it, I see the Pisces as well ✨😎

[@dbc120]

Do you provide a video on the same what-why and mostly how to help the scapegoats nuclear family (adult children) members on their need to also go no contact with what would be their Aunts, Uncles and toxic cousins. As happens as the scapegoat, I can follow all your advice and I have been no contact. But as you also allude to, the same dysfunctional siblings of mine, desperate to keep finding ways to keep me their scapegoat; do and have continued to reach out to my adult children. In my case specifically, the dysfunctionality of my siblings was not something my children grew up "seeing" or for them to recognize me as the scapegoat. It only manifested after my children had both moved away and started their own lives.

[@kathrynsheartland]

Kicked out at 17. Eldest of 5. I'm now 73. I am an Empath who spoke the truth to my narcissistic mother. My siblings were basically brainwashed or too young to realize much. I'm glad I raised myself and never looked back. I have 1 sister and 1 now deceased brother who are/were narcissists. My father passed at 44. My parents were separated. I was laughed at for grieving his death at age 14 & was not allowed to go to his funeral. Living in that dysfunction was pure hell. At the end of my mother's life at age 94, I was there holding her hand when she passed. My siblings tread lightly with me. And after my mom's death, 2 of my siblings told me I was right to never look back & what they endured. This is the short story.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@kathrynsheartland I'm sorry you lived that, but so glad you got away! 💕

[@helder3951]

I’m reading my life Kathryn… I’m 55 … I ran away at 17 after years of bullying and severe abuse. When my father passed I was informed after his cremation . Wasn’t even mentioned on the card of his death. Im his only daughter. The Money is gone tho… ofcourse . 🤡🔌🧹🧹🧹☮️🦋 feel you xx I’m single and FREE All the best from Amsterdam 😘

[@MarkShinnick]

Very Cool 2 siblings could get into communication to share stories... wow that must have been quite Ok.

[@MarkShinnick]

​@@helder3951Yes...money and power is everything...their collective Psychotic goal. This sickness seems to deeply infect everywhere.

[@Fifi_Is_My_Name-O]

Wow... I feel your pain and struggle... My mother was not only a narcissist, she also had schizophrenia. She anointed me the family scapegoat because I was the truthteller. She created division and dysfunction and she also made my life a living hell. I had an amazing, loving father who saw through my mother's lies and understood what I was going through and tried to protect me. He died from a fall when I was 15. I left home and have been completely on my own since I began my senior year of high school. I am 64 now. My 3 siblings were also brainwashed. My sister has strong narcissistic traits and hers are covert whereas my mother was malignant and overt. I had a natural instinct to go low and no contact with my mother when I was on my own (since high school). It was easy to do because she had moved 2500 miles away from me. At first she would call me every few months or I would call her. But eventually, I would go years, sometimes even a decade here and there without communicating with her... part of that was because of side issues caused by her schizophrenia (she grew more paranoid about using the phone). But it was fine with me. I kept her at arm's length. But I am different from you in that when I heard she might not have much longer to live, I stayed away. I hadn't spoken to her for a few years and I decided not to reach out to her in the remaining 3 years that she lived. I chose not to go to her funeral (a lot of that had to do with not wanting to deal with her enablers and flying monkeys but some of it had to do with health issues that made traveling that distance difficult). Needless to say, me not going, despite my legitimate health reasons, just gave the family more fodder to attack me with (the covert smear campaign) but at that point, I didn't care. In the end, I hated what she did to me but I didn't hate her, I more pitied her horrible, depraved life. I always thought my mother was THE problem and didn't realize that the toxicity ran through the entire family because of how they were brainwashed to think of me by our mother. She also brainwashed the extended family members on her side of the family. My sister has followed in my mother's narcissistic footsteps. I have only just begun to understand the narcissistic piece to my dysfunctional family in the past 6 or 7 years. I have been NC with my toxic sister for 4--1/2 years now. One brother (the one I've been the closest to throughout my life) has become distant as he disapproves of me going NC with my sister. The other brother and I were never that close to begin with, he bullied me growing up and our relationship now is cordial but awkward and communication is infrequent. But life is so much better without all the toxicity... and Tamie is so right when she says that once your get these kinds of people out of your life and move on to healing and recovery, the better and more joyful and productive your life becomes. Then your confidence grows and you attract relationships with healthy people... it just gets better and better!

[@lisaatkinson6276]

When you’re in your late 50’s and finally realize you are/were the scapegoat…. The scapegoat is the one who works hard to have a close birth family relationship, hosting regular get togethers, etc. The scapegoat is what holds the toxic family together despite being the scapegoat. They are peacemakers and put up with a lot. Eventually they have enough and get educated on the subject.

[@rhondagrant9388]

Exactly describe my life.

[@sarcasticscapegoat5995]

Feels to late to learn this at 56. Really wish I could find every scapegoat and show them in teens to early 20's so they have time to realize and start living without toxic family.

[@mitzistone4721]

So true!!!!

[@Empathysuperpower]

This is 1 billion% true! So crazy how they all treat the empath this way. I’ve had to heal from this after decades.

[@KilSmiley]

I tell ya it seems like they are all puppeteed by the same puppeteer, or possessed by the same demon.

[@Empathysuperpower]

@@KilSmiley Yes, I agree about the demons.

[@Crazyblackbish]

Still healing 😢

[@thebackstreetphilosopher9587]

When I told my mother and sister that my father sexually assaulted me, they sided with him and treated me with contempt. My parents are both dead now, but my sister is also a malignant narcissist. After nearly six decades of her unwarranted verbal and emotional abuse, I finally went no contact with her almost two years ago. I’m finally gaining a sense of self and a measure of inner peace even though she’s turned a bunch of people against me.

[@carrieladewig6859]

You are so strong and right to leave…good for YOU ❤I’m proud of your decision !

[@tamiemjoyce]

@thebackstreetphilosopher9587 I'm SO sorry that happened to you but happy to know you've broken free! May you find deep peace and lasting healing moving forward! 💕

[@lolo9553ify]

I was sexually abused by an uncle and in my late 30s was finally able to tell the truth. I was also the family scapegoat however and was disbelieved by family. They chided me that I was making my poor aunt uncomfortable for asking questions as to his whereabouts. When the hits kept coming, I went no contact with my nuclear family. It was the right choice. Sounds like you made the right choice too. Hallelujah.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@@lolo9553ify I completely relate to your story as I had a very similar experience when I finally spoke up and outed the family pedophile. All I can say is, I wouldn't want their karma. 💕

[@ChimmyChooChoo]

I'm the truth teller and scapegoat in my very dysfunctional family of origin. I've been no contact for over nearly 20 years, and they're still obsessed with what I do or don't do. I'm supposedly broke, mentally ill, a criminal, a miserable human, a bad mother, wife, etc. They've isolated me with a never-ending smear campaign me but are upset I don't want to be around. Everytime they attempt to bring me back into the fold, I stay firm in my boundaries. I don't even go to family funerals. It's better this way.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@ChimmyChooChoo I completely relate!

[@joseenoel8093]

Me too on funerals and truth telling, those who cannot control us slander, now my daughter's turn to, unbelivable!

[@JoyceAnderson-yc7zg]

Im 57, the scapegoat. It took me many years, and the passing of my best friend to make me realise that I have to "cut the umbilical cord" to use my friend's exact words. Since I went no contact with especially my mom, my pain of years of emotional abuse is slowly fading. I feel so sorry for my family's descendants, adolescents, and young adults... who is all subjected to this toxicity from their parent's...my sisters and brother... Im praying for my mother, hoping she might change. She's the matriarch of my family and even brainwashing the younger generation of our family. It's a priority to me educate my children of the toxic reality within the family.

[@venicejose5847]

I changed my reaction behaviors towards my narcissist family member and now they're moving away! Their tactics didn't work so they gotta leave. It's heartbreaking to know they will never change and continue their torture on others

[@MarkShinnick]

It's happening all over the USA.

[@tammyraby7630]

When i exposed the narcissism, I received a 7 page letter.

[@Miramex]

Today is the day I get to understand the why and because... Thank you

[@tamiemjoyce]

@Miramex You're welcome! Thanks for watching!!

[@EmpressScarletSmile]

This is me and it still makes me want to cry. We've moved away from my family, and it breaks my heart because I have a son and they treat him the same and it just breaks my heart because he doesn't deserve that. I've spent a good portion of my life helping them and receiving little to nothing in return but pain and suffering from their abuse. Trying to heal from this has been so difficult 😢. I am in therapy, I've gone no contact with many of them but I'm left feeling alone but it's better than being abused.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@EmpressScarletSmile I completely understand. I'm glad you're in therapy but the truth is sometimes we need more. Consider looking into 12-step programs like ACOA and/or CoDA. They can be a great place to not only be supported but also heal in ways you won't get in traditional talk therapy. If you want to learn how I can support you in your healing journey, you can learn more here: www.TamieMCoaching.com

[@mitzistone4721]

This is my situation too, the child of a scapegoat is a tough life. You can tell when someone likes your child or not.

[@queengreen007]

The truth serum is spoken today. I know what the Bible says about narcissistic people, it doesn't use the term narcissist. They fall into the lovers of self category, betrayers, liars, murderers, scoffers, workers of iniquity and those who lie in wait for the innocent. That is who you are dealing with...and their eternity left unrepentant, is not good.

[@LibelulaNocturna]

All 100% true. I am treated as "the villain" by my relatives just because I stood up to my narc mother but I don't regret it. I went no contact and life is much more peaceful without that old narc lady. They behave like mafia bosses, "ring leader" is a very accurate term, I would also call them "capos", they remind me of the Italian mafia movie "The Godfather" . She is "The Godmother", who manages others by a thread, like puppets.😂😂😂😂. They think family is a business and everyone has to serve their purpose or be outcasted. I refused to be part of her script.The price, I have no family now, but life is better, I can be me now and no more BS.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@LibelulaNocturna I completely relate. I've paid the same price and have ZERO regrets. My life has only gotten better the longer I stay away. I had a very sick stepmother who used to preach about the importance of "family" and "respect" while behaving in the most dispicable and abusive way imaginable. A real piece of work. Sure could "talk" the talk though. Good for you mustering the strength and courage to go no contact! 💕

[@lauraheller531]

I am definitely the scapegoat. I use boundaries and low contact. Thank you for this video!!!!!

[@tamiemjoyce]

@lauraheller531 You're so welcome!

[@laomisaavedra]

Truthteller here. Living in China for 13 years and counting. Away from a toxic narcissistic family. If there was a place even further away, I would go. My mind and feelings are healing little by little. Slowly but surely Thank you for this video and all the others.

[@tamiemjoyce]

Proud of you! Thank you for watching 😊

[@sidroj7]

I ignored my family dysfunction for 59 years. Now, I am free! It took me a few years to fully understand it, with help from my husband and daughters. I was lucky...and it still hurt like hell for years.

[@mekylieme]

Thank you for this clarity. I'm in this situation, getting ready to leave this totxic family with the ringleader being my spouse (who walked out on us so he could chase younger women), along with my mother. They've turned everyone against me, including my kids. Aftr 6 years of hate, I still do not know what I did. I've been wondering/worrying what will happen when I take the leap. It's more than I assumed as surely I thought they would see what they did wrong and how they've treated me.

[@jennyhewitt3472]

Thank you for elaborating on this. I couldn't understand for the longest, why I was turned on even by people I had no conflict with. But they're part of the family. And in order for the family to stay united, I had to go. Makes sense now & I'm more than happy I did that for them... But most importantly, for me 💚 Do yourself a favor people... Release those who aren't for you in order to make room for the people who are. They'll find you!

[@angel772921]

They are not human, they are creatures ..I mean this in ever sense...thank you Tamie ❤

[@doricetimko5403]

It certainly feels like that.✌️

[@angiewilliams2660]

I did that. I am basically just cut myself off. I had to realize that my mother was just like that and I can't talk her into a better way.

[@heathergatfield667]

I wish all this information was around when i was young. Boy the pain, heartaches, the time frustration, etc... this would have saved me from. See I had 2 parents that didnt want kids if they would've really been honest with themselves. But back then thats what you were told you were supposed to do. Graduate high school & get married. ( which was my mom). Or men a lot dropped out of school & got jobs running heavy equipment. Which was real good money. And back then, you could quit school & go make a decent living. If you still knew how to read & write & a narcissist & sure of themselves. That's all they really needed back then. ( which was my dad) and all the girls loved my dad. He was a good lookin man & the bad boy imagine. Plus made a lot of money. Girls loved him & parents hated him for their daughters anyway. Lol So when he showed my mom the attention. Well she had never been around someone like him. I don't think she knew what hit her...lol. But then they were told after yah get married you have kids. But deep down that's not what they really wanted. But they didn't know that's not what they wanted...if that makes sense. So my sister became a narcissist & I became the scapegoat. But my father never let me get too far. Cuz he never wanted me to be better then him well he died in Dec 2023 *not a full yr yet). And I did catch on about 2 yrs before he died I learned. And I told him I was very aware of what a narcissist was. So he tested me on q few things. I think he was waiting for me to say I knew he was. But I never did being how he went. I didn't want to put him through anymore. Now there's a part of me that wishes I had. But it is what it is...he's now gone. So I can't change anything. Probably better off. And now after writing this today. I can now let go off the huge amount of guilt I wad carrying around for how the last let's say 48hrs of his life went. Cuz I felt horrible...thought u should've had sure he was warmer, maybe more meds, maybe this that & the other thing. Wben he treated me so badly ; used ne as the family's scapegoat & I'm done hurting myself any longer. 😢😢 At least i could be honest with myself & i was strong enough to get out. When everyone else was addicted to the money & hopes & promises he'd put out there

[@charlenesipsey2120]

This can go beyond family. AA does this as well. Smear campaigns, isolation, invalidate someone's recovery because they leave the program.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@charlenesipsey2120 I totally agree! Although I will forever be grateful for the decade I spent fully immersed in 12-step and all that it taught me, it can and often does become just another dysfunctional family system. As they say, "it's where sick people go to get well"... except many don't actually get well. I found the healthier I became, the less I was able to attend meetings and participate in fellowship, primarily because of the narcissistic abuse I was experiencing. AA is not the only way. IMO, sometimes leaving is a sign of how much you've grown. Stay cool and beautiful, Sister!! 💕

[@OptimisticMaya]

My toxic family members as well as my ex (separately and together) have done ALL five of these 🙄 They all tried to make me look like the crazy one - the irony is that THEY are the crazy narcissistic ones . “Birds of a feather flock together”!

[@tamiemjoyce]

@OptimisticMaya Exactly! 😉

[@daniellecust765]

Your videos are always so enlightening Tamie. Thank you 😊

[@tamiemjoyce]

@daniellecust765 You are so welcome!

[@petewagner2050]

As the oldest son and the primary caregiver for our dad after he passed the rest of my family took all of their issues with our dad and put them on to me. After that didn’t work they all went no contact and stonewalled me for almost 5 years, which I was fine with, it forced me to deal with my abandonment issues so they did me the favor. They have slowly all come into my life, but all within my boundaries.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@petewagner2050 Wow! It sounds like you've had quite the journey. Tread carefully with these people moving forward. They rarely change.

[@jameybarrows1]

As always, you have nailed it, Tamie. I watched videos like this one every day for two years before I finally got the courage to walk away from my family of origin.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@jameybarrows1 Proud of you!! 💕

[@Charlie-u7j]

I am the Empath scapegoat!! I up my self care to cope! It’s been hard like you’ve said!!

[@Sharlene-x4q]

My best years were lived far away from toxic family

[@briankeenan4901]

God Bless you, Tamie.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@briankeenan4901 Thank you! Glad you liked the video!

[@catherinerobinson8451]

So helpful and timely! Having recovered from eating disorders many years ago, I’ve recently had my eyes opened more to some family dynamics. Yes, I’m the truth teller, and it seems I’m made to be the problem. Videos like this are helping me understand why - thank you!

[@tamiemjoyce]

@catherinerobinson8451 I'm so glad you found this video helpful! 💕

[@linanndlima7599]

This content is literally genius.❤

[@tamiemjoyce]

@linanndlima7599 I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for watching!! 💕

[@AngelO-t9f]

I’ve been through all this. Putting arrows in my back etc. when you speak up on the terrible experiences then your just deemed CRAZY!

[@sll110]

Tamie, you are one of Coolest in KZbin, all you talking all Truth!! you are very few trustworthy in this field.❤❤❤❤ Love you ❤

[@tamiemjoyce]

@sll110 That is very kind. Thank you!! 😊

[@MarkShinnick]

Excellently composed narrative that's as close to Real as I've ever heard. Thanks.

[@tamiemjoyce]

Thanks for listening

[@Fifi_Is_My_Name-O]

Tamie, I appreciate all of your videos, they are wonderful, but this one is one of my favorites of all time. You clearly know and understand my situation. You speak the truth and it feels good to be seen, understood and validated. Thank you!

[@tamiemjoyce]

I'm so glad you found it helpful!! ❤️

[@marcydrake9159]

🎯 😮 Oh wow, that’s a whole lot of truthful information right there. Thank you for providing clarity on some very confusing and thorny family dynamics. This is the validation I needed, and I find it very soothing. ❤ More work to do but I’m headed in the right direction. 💪🐐

[@tamiemjoyce]

@marcydrake9159 You're so welcome! Thanks for tuning in!! 💕

[@lindaguy1808]

Excellent video Tamie! Thank you! ❤

[@tamiemjoyce]

Glad you liked it!! Thank you for watching!

[@clairevandenberg8204]

I am the empath. I am also my mother’s caregiver. OH BOY! This is my life! I’m exhausted by it. I wouldn’t recognize what genuine live is if it bit me!

[@Candy-O1776]

At 73, I’m just realizing that didn’t deserve it. I’ve always thought that I was so bad, even at 3, I deserved it.

[@1Marflowa]

Everysingle day, i recieve multible e mails by my mother. They all make me feel horrible and non of what she writes is the truth. She even does name calling, humiliates me. I really feel mentaly and physically sick by it. And when i went no contact, she did false accusatiom at authorities. So for me there is no way to escape from her. She did the same to my father. He passed away . I think his body / heart ,couldnt handle the stress anymore. And even the first night after he passed away, she found words to humiliate him.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@1Marflowa You are being abused. Stop reading the emails. Keep them in a file so you have documentation in case you ever need it for the authorities, but STOP hurting yourself. Go no contact and commit to a serious healing and recovery path. Clearly your life literally depends on it. 💕

[@1Marflowa]

@@tamiemjoyce you are right. But I have an adult child , that i couldnt take care of couse she made that impossible and all that time she blamed and blames me for that. To me, to everybody and to my adult child, who is a mess to couse of it. I also have a 4 year old. Left him a few days before giving birth. He didnt show up till she was 5 months. Couse of him, i found out what narcissm is. He is 1 and also uses cocaïne. And clearly my mom is one. I try to keep my youngest away from them. But since then, they work together. I guess you will understand how my life is 😥

[@767driver4]

Tamie, you just described to a “T” much, if not most of my family history growing up. My mom tied me up as a child, beat me with a stick while smirking a grin, and went to her grave believing she was the EXPERT mother. As a grown teen when I confronted her with this behavior, *I* was the bad guy for mentioning it, always wearing the “black hat”.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@767driver4 I'm SO sorry your mother did that to you. I hope you're supporting yourself in whatever way you need to in order to fully heal. 💕

[@767driver4]

@@tamiemjoyce Thank you for your kind feedback. She had a college degree in “Child Development” which she truly believed was a “license” to behave anyway she wanted to behave no matter how wicked, believing she was the expert.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@@767driver4 Just wow!

[@deborahbloem1325]

Thanks for sharing Tamie. All this reminds me again why I left at a certain job, because of the sick mindgames a coworker played for years. It was hard to make the decision, but this reminds me again of why I had to leave. A very hard decision, but I had to for my own wellbeing and health. Thank you.

[@tamiemjoyce]

I'm glad you chose your wellbeing! 😊

[@deborahbloem1325]

@@tamiemjoyce Thank you for your response Tamie.

[@inrspc777]

Thank you for this upload. As you encouraged sharing, the first step I took was to go no contact with my toxic & abusive birth mother. I stayed no contact for 5 years. I reconnected because she was terminally ill and I didn't want her to pass away without saying goodbye. First, I had to get myself to the point where I understood the relationship would not be satisfying for me, and would require limited/modified contact. I didn't have to do this, but I wanted to. I approached her on my terms, armed with better information. Glad I did it, because the last words I said to her before she died were, "I love you". I would have carried a burden in my heart had I not done this.

[@tamiemjoyce]

I'm glad you got closure and did it on your terms ❤️

[@febshowers]

My toxic, covert narcissist family member showed up at church and put on a performance for my daughter. Thankfully she’s wise about all this. I warned her about hoovering tactics

[@cushmanarmitige2369]

Ye that scapegoating really does hurt as a kid, not as much as the smear campaign as an adult though. My friends were like my family, what can i say. One bit of advice to any scapegoat is be careful not to choose friends cos you are used to being scapegoated, be careful. Being alone is better than with bad people.

[@HarryBarker-yp1xv]

I went NC and karma took the reigns.

[@Heyokasireniei468sxso]

this is still my truth even at 40

[@JohnTheRevelator11]

This was me w my in law. (Other family members too but esp my MIL) She took everything she did to me that I called out and made sure the family thought I did it… Lots of shaming and blame shifting. She hated that I didn’t conform to the hierarchy she’d created when I came into the family and that I was very blunt and constantly (and accidentally btw) exposed their lies. I don’t play games and that naturally exposed their crazy. She was mad 😅

[@Fifi_Is_My_Name-O]

Thank you for the videos, you have helped me so much!

[@tamiemjoyce]

Hi @fifi_is_my_name-O! Thank you so much! I appreciate it ❤️

[@JSFGuy]

SMH, this reinforces my strong speculation. I'll be empathic, sensitive, receptive and I see behaviors that line up with people that don't know each other towards me haha told you so. This SUX. I never get validated in the family or most anybody else.

[@keebler32ify]

You are dead on point 🎯

[@keebler32ify]

Thanks my beloved 💪🏾💯♥️🎯

[@tamiemjoyce]

You are so welcome!

[@brandannew]

Best moment at video for me 20:38 - 21:25 . tnx u Tamie for sharing your precious knowlege with us :)

[@tamiemjoyce]

Thank you for watching! Sla glad it was helpful 😊

[@yuditchasid5316]

OMG so beautifully put together every word 100% I went through it all phases Thanku

[@tamiemjoyce]

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching!

[@sonnenschein553]

Thank you so much deep feom my heart. ❤

[@tamiemjoyce]

You are so welcome!! Make sure to check out other videos in my channel. There are tons of resources! ❤️

[@Kallejulmust]

Thanks

[@tamiemjoyce]

@Kallejulmust Thank you very much for the generous gratuity! I appreciate it!! 😊

[@alisonj9533]

Im quite a reactive person, sometimes i wish id said nothing before going non contact. Oh well, i may not be able to change that but i remain no contact. Both my parents were selfish in their childish ways and a lot of children they had. Not one escaped that but it also never stopped us all trying to please at sometime or all the time. Now they are dead i see how manipulative and sometimes truthful they were but i cannot bare the slyness, blame, accusations etc. Freedom comes at a cost and i hope their jaws are still on the ground i blocked, dont talk to anyone really. Its the best healing ive had not waiting for mud slinging

[@HerminaBlackstock-b1h]

They have aligned themselves with the wicked Christian covert narcissist neighbour, that have hurt me for so many years,too numerous to mention.❤️💪💟💯🙏

[@CharleneSalyers]

❤❤❤

[@HerminaBlackstock-b1h]

My x their father, the ringleader 🙏❤️💪💟💯

[@dalebeaulieu9590]

So true...

[@leanwoerner3583]

I am the mean and negative person (scapegoat). My punishment is not being able to meet my first and only grandchild. I have a support system of authentic friends who are now my family. This is a recent development, so I am still working through the emotions, but it is getting easier every day. I know that 2-3 of the family (including ex spouse and outlaw) are narcissists, whom I walked away from 15 years ago. Disney verses Law & Order!

[@TuerlingsTim]

It’s my life story 😏

[@mitzistone4721]

After reading a comment here I wonder if you could do a video about the children of the scapegoat? It seems this role gets passed down to them, not by the parents of the child, but by the parent's family, so cruel.

[@Melville-h5n]

💯💯💯💯

[@tamiemjoyce]

🤗🤗

[@carparthero]

“family sticks together” is probably the most dangerous thing you could believe from enablers/outsiders. it trains you to accept bad behavior simply because someone’s related to you. at the end of the day we’re all here because two people had sex .. that’s it. you have ZERO obligation to put up with anything toxic that you don’t want to. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[@tamiemjoyce]

@carparthero Exactly! 😉

[@carparthero]

@tamiemjoyce thanks for another excellent video! not sure where in canada you are. i am in hamilton, ontario. anyhow enjoy your narc-free weekend and keep fighting the good fight. -cheers, steven

[@tamiemjoyce]

@@carparthero My pleasure, Steven. I'm originally from Montreal. My husband and I spend part of our year in Mexico and part of our year in Calgary now.

[@carparthero]

@@tamiemjoyce amazing 👏 you have def gotten to see different places and locations within and outside the country.

[@doricetimko5403]

Yup

[@angiewilliams2660]

Yes. Say it!

[@annap3956]

This speaks to me and you are bang on with EVERY SINGLE POINT!! I am going through this right now with my mother (the circle leader) and sister (the golden child). The more I pull away the more harm and gaslighting.

[@lolo9553ify]

Their reaction to us pulling away - the smearing and gaslighting - simply reinforces why we must pull away.

[@brittanywilliams4174]

I grew up very alone. I could see the differences as a child. I knew I wasn’t treated the same way. It hurt me. I just wanted to be loved. They always made me feel like a bad awful child. I look back I really was a good kid. I didn’t do anything but as for fairness. It still hurts. Some family members show me some love but I definitely was the scape goat. It was always all my fault even when I left.

[@marklarsen4424]

I think this was me. When I was young, I didn't realize how my so-called family was working to keep me down. When I reached outside of their influence for a career I did very well. However, near where I grew up, I couldn't make anything work. I was always "ganged up on" Even at work. It all made me stronger than they are, and now I'm OK but the damage is permanent!

[@tamiemjoyce]

@marklarsen4424 You can heal.

[@AccidentalCarnivore-ul3kg]

I finally decided to go NO CONTACT with my Sister. I can no longer deal with her neediness, delusions, and hoovering. The dysfunction and toxicity is killing me. I choose me!

[@wendyandfriends]

Boy, I'll say!! Right on target, as always, Tamie!! If this knowledge and understanding could have been known and available to us decades ago, we wouldn't have the immense cell-deep effects of it for us to struggle through to heal. Thank you for this excellent, clear information.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@wendyclark387 So glad you enjoyed the video. Thank you for watching! 😊

[@amarbyrd2520]

​@@tamiemjoyceWhat Wendy said -- about this information not being available and even therapists looking at us like we were crazy (which I don't think they're supposed to do at even the most basic skill levels) When my parents had their near-apocalyptic divorce I was mocked and berated for being the only one in the nuclear family to seek therapy (I was also mocked & denigrated by extended family). I went in and said "I need life skills" and then SHE looked at me like I was insane, but 2 decades went by before Jerry Wise came out with his video affirming that children of narcissistic abuse FEEL like they're developmentally behind our peers because WE ARE. So we've been right this whole time, but even professionals refused to affirm it - so at this point not only might we never catch up (and so remain isolated) -- but how are we supposed to believe "abuse professionals" can credibly be trusted??

[@jrraven3230]

I totally walked away from my mother, the final straw was when she stole the inheritance, meant for grandkids, she being the executior of the account, telling everyone i did it. She couldn't bring charges because i didn't do it and would have to have committed several crimes to achieve it, and people still believed her. Never spoke to her again after that. Not that my life has been a bowl of cherries, but it would have been way worse if i didn't walk away. Ver good decision 😇🙂

[@tamiemjoyce]

@jrraven3230 Wow! All I can say is I wouldn't want her karma. Good for you for taking good care of yourself and walking away. 💕

[@blbl8777]

in the empath that spoke the truth exposing the narcissist and everything said here about the narcissist is 100% accurate

[@yorammm5549]

Thanks to your videos. Many people feel that they are understood. Thank you very much..🌼

[@tamiemjoyce]

@yorammm5549 You're welcome! Thanks for watching!! 💕

[@Z28videogates]

Great video! Maybe an idea for the next video could be --- after you have done the limited/no contact, how the scapegoat can manage it going forward. Just an idea! Great work!!

[@Puresoulonearth]

lol feels like I was meant to see this today. Just had a huge fight with my mother this morning, it was a long time coming and I’ve been watching your videos and felt like enough was enough. But her favorite thing to tell me is “don’t rock the boat!” I’ve heard that since childhood when my dad was beating me and emotionally abusing me. Now that he’s dead it’s like his narcissistic demons transferred over to her. I just can’t take it anymore, I love her so much, but the pain is unbearable. It’s incredibly painful to leave too. Today was the first time I ever called the suicide hotline because I felt like my world ended when she stormed out.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@Puresoulonearth Oh my! I am SO sorry. Please DO NOT hurt yourself. You have healing work to do to move through the grief and heal the pain of the past. I promise you, you're worth doing the work. There's SO much peach, joy, love and freedom on the other side. 💕

[@Puresoulonearth]

@@tamiemjoyce I believe it was the trauma bond that you talk about. It just shattered me in an instant when she left and I had a moment of weakness, but I’m relieved I was able to call for help and get past it. Thank you so much for your videos they have helped me so much ❤️

[@lolo9553ify]

I felt suicidal too with the last betrayal 7 years ago. I went into the ocean one night but walked back out. Since then I've been learning what I can about npd and scapegoating and it's made a world of difference. I wish you the best going forward.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@@Puresoulonearth You're so welcome, Love! I'm so glad they've been helpful!!

[@NatashaOConnor-ww4vq]

When I was a child and notice what caretakers and adopted mom did that was abusive. I told the truth to my brother and mom , counselor that is friends of family members and aunt the truth of what caretakers and mom did is abusive and not right. All they did was enabling me and told me that I need to get help and threaten me because that they don’t want to deal with it and they want keep it secret they cause they don’t want be exposed . I walked with no contact. Cause I have enough playing the role in their narcissist family dynamic.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@NatashaOConnor-ww4vq I'm sorry you had that experience but happy to know that you have broken free. 💕

[@sboland1016]

You are amazing. Thank you so much...

[@tamiemjoyce]

@sboland1016 Happy to help! 😊

[@HerminaBlackstock-b1h]

Tammie I am the one 🙏❤️💪💟💯

[@kellywalsh4596]

Tammy, I am the scapegoat and every word spoke to me and my current experience of going no contact. It’s easier to know you’re not the only one going through this

[@tamiemjoyce]

Hi @kellywalsh4596! Here's a video that you might find helpful kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJOqiGOFfr59qrs Talk soon!

[@jennyhewitt3472]

This is a great one! You've been instrumental in my journey & thank God I've been enlightened. Tamie, you're an absolute gem 💎 Please keep up the incredible work you're doing.

[@tamiemjoyce]

@jennyhewitt3472 Wow! This makes my heart so happy!

[@Kallejulmust]

Thanks Tamie. You're the best. Cheers

[@tamiemjoyce]

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching!

[@pattayaesl7128]

Denial comfort coma just explains my family so perfectly.

[@concettasultan8570]

Awesome and accurate, thank you Tamie ❤

[@tamiemjoyce]

You are so welcome

[@doricetimko5403]

Truth telling scapegoat here. I moved +600miles away n about 20 yrs later went no contact. I

[@puglife6616]

🎯💚🥰❤💙🎃🔥thank you

[@tamiemjoyce]

@pugllife6616 You are so welcome! 😊

[@madlife3770]

Is the one who walks away usually (always?) the scapegoat? Is the scapegoat the only one who is the target of a smear campaign? Would both of these things be solid indicators of which person in the family is, in fact, the scapegoat?

[@SandraRijnders-tl1gc]

I have just “discovered” you and I am listening, learning and recognizing growing up as an empath with narcistic parents and a narcistic sister. Thinking I was not good enough, always pushed aside. Now I am an adult with a beautiful family, I have a nice and loving relationship with my children and I am still strugling with my morgen and sister ( my father died) but I start to see rhe paterns and I am moving past them. They just cannot touch me anymore.

[@tamiemjoyce]

Hi @SandraRijnders-tl1gc So glad that you are here! Recognizing the patterns is a great step! ♥️

[@craigsaint]

Ooooooo you’re talking about me!!!!!

[@craigsaint]

I’ve been no contact since the pandemic. I have no desire to return to the toxic family environment. Tired of being blamed and lied on. They are the sick ones, not me.

[@alanreed647]

I realized this years ago, in the last 12 years, validated by utube programs. so nice to be able to love yourself,and go no contact. just remember you can develop new families . with healthy people . faith in Christ has helped the healing process of all the pain in childhood and those young adult years. there is hope.

[@tamiemjoyce]

There is hope! ❤️

[@HarmonyFreeman-sy6bz]

Omg…this lesson took so long for me to get out of!

[@heatherguerrero5842]

This definitely hits home.. I was adopted into a highly toxic family however I broke completely free in 2015 at 41yrs old. I couldn’t go no contact before because every time I tried they kept my grandmother away from me but it was actually her that showed me it was ok to go no contact and I did it’s been the best decision for me since then I’ve been on my own healing process…. thank you so much for this video!!

[@tamiemjoyce]

So glad that you are healing! Thank you for watching!! ❤️

[@heatherguerrero5842]

@@tamiemjoyce it’s definitely a long journey especially after it went on for so many years and from a very young age but I’m glad I found my strength to walk away and put up the proper boundaries.. I’m a work in progress lol 🤣 again thank you for your videos they’re so helpful!!

[@TG-hf1gx]

THIS WOMAN IS A GIFT FROM GOD!!!!✨💯✨ Knowledge like this can heal generations. Share this with as many as you can. We CAN heal. We MUST heal. We must survive. We must thrive. You are a beautiful human. You are loved.🙏🏾💖🙋🏾🌉

[@tamiemjoyce]

Thank you so much, love! Let's heal generations! ❤️