6 Lies That Destroy Recovery From An Affair

[@christalhardy8771]

I am grieving so much its like a death 💀.but doing much better 6 months from this post! God is good and repaired my heart ❤

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin i pray your strength. The sexual betrayal is the worse and then he throws in" polygamy is in the Bible" and I want the both of you! I told him to go back and read in Deuteronomy about Moses not seeing the promise land for disobedience!

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin i have no time for games at 45 i gave him 12 faithful years and could of had a man on the side but I honored my vows to God and sadly I can't trust him or others who possibly are genuine . I have a wall gate and fence up now

[@truckingwithtobee]

It’s been over 1.5 years since my D-day. It still hurts as if it were yesterday. But, slowly I’m starting to feel better. I stayed with my husband but I’m not sure if I made the right choice. I’m so very sorry you’re going through this❤️

[@christalhardy8771]

@@truckingwithtobee Sorry to hear your going through it as well in we actually live in separate States and I haven't seen him since Christmas Day. I don't know if that makes it harder or easier to heal? He wants us both his mistress and me i never signed up for polygamy so I'm standing my ground to 👉👉👉 forward

[@terrywade3696]

It’s worse than death! When a loved one dies, whether it be your child, your husband, siblings, parents or friends, there is only missing & grieving to go through. There’s nothing to resolve, to question, to fix, argue about, no self doubt, no triggers, no competition, no wondering about what was real, if they ever loved you, valued you, wanted you, meant anything they ever said to you if you can ever trust again or if you’ll ever know all the missing pieces! With betrayal, it’s the gift of pain that keeps on giving! With infidelity, it IS worse than death.

[@amandadow3378]

Just recently came across your channel and so glad I did...Needed this tonight. Great topic!

[@CJEDI7TV]

That Boomerang Effect one was reeeaaaal. People need to heal and deal with things IN THEIR MARRIAGE cause often times your spouse can help you get through those issues. Or begin the steps. Marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly. Hopefully those who are going through look to see their spouses in a better light and not the one they had an affair with.

[@christalhardy8771]

That's a good point ! Go to people who have our solution!

[@terrywade3696]

The 6 lies we tell ourselves that destroy recovery: 1) She will never ever forgive me! (Lies you tell yourself to avoid consequences, lies of omission) 2) I’ll pay for this forever! 3) My marriage will never be as exciting as my affair. (Of course it won’t if you don’t put in the same effort as you did your affair) 4) My wrath is completely justified! (The betrayed also lie to themselves) 5) I won’t be able to trust my spouse ever again! 6) I’m not good enough.

[@tourdedogue4952]

Yes, all true; especially the part of never being able to trust your spouse again! Forget it. Fantasy Island

[@gaylefontaine-richards6910]

Thank you😊

[@christalhardy8771]

What if you have shown forgiveness as the Bible says and yet they keep living and sneaking and emailing and other things as a single person? Its so hard to walk together and get through making this work . HE hides so much by omission and keeps saying I can't handle the truth

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin yes I called the courts again yesterday asking to please expedite this divorce its been since July! I'm tired of saying I'm married to a cheater who uses the religion of Islam to condone his decisions and ive studied Islam ,you don't do this to your wife. Polygamy isn't what I signed up for

[@christalhardy8771]

@scott Anthony Gould I had last straw may 1st and let him go fully ! Thank God my house is in my name I didn't add him for a reason , no kids together I can just move on

[@bronnita3018]

Right that part

[@christalhardy8771]

I have come to the point I released him from my heart ❤and bid him Farwell. He got caught may 1st with this Jezebel again after I told him I had a dentist appointment, I am at peace with divorce

[@vanessarenae5169]

Sometimes that all we can do...let God have them, dust your feet off, and walk on. Blessings to you sister in your new life.

[@dewter007]

This is sooooo good. Honestly I am loving the messages

[@mercyme7410]

My husband blamed my looks and lack of survival skills for his cheating. Even though he knew I didn’t have them when we got married, I tried to change for him but nothing changed in his part. He continued to cheat. Now I’m looking for a place.

[@apeacefulmcadory1627]

Please don’t accept his excuses as a reason to cheat. Men usually don’t cheat because of looks or sex, it’s because of how they feel in that moment. The excitement, the thrill, whatever. He was just a weak man that doesn’t deserve you. Good luck to you

[@hubertogarmon3519]

Thx

[@christalhardy8771]

My husband lied to me over 3 years. He now wants to say polygamy is allowed by God and he has desired 2 wives all along and I can't divorce him or I will be the adulterated one ! I want out as soon as possible 😩

[@saindelinejeanpierre986]

I hope u got out love

[@christalhardy8771]

@@saindelinejeanpierre986 Yes we are at the last stages of the divorce process . I have forgiven him but will move forward with my life. Now 6 months later he realizes he is outside of the will of God but my trust for him is not the same living apart I don't know what goes on his his life

[@Objectivetone5155]

Leave !!! God don’t want you to live like that god don’t allow this type of abuse sorry he is a pos

[@gorgeouswales9635]

Very nice! I so needed to hear this. Thanks to you both!

[@drea0850]

It’s been over a year I was 1 week postpartum and the anger has no subdued. If anything I feel myself getting worse. I feel sad but I will never feel confident or safe in this relationship again. I don’t understand it all now but I hope one day I’ll understand.

[@jensbornagain]

I am trying to figure out why I keep taking the lies lies lies I apparently don’t have any respect or dignity for me self.

[@angelaeilf6107]

It’s because you love him and are not ready to let go yet. I know, I have been there. Ask for all the details, ALL of them. Then you know the truth and can figure out if you want to stay or will leave. Once I knew the REAL truth, my heart and body have told me what to do.

[@jensbornagain]

I have asked multiple times, he swears he can’t remember what she is talking about, but he answers her and the messages make me sick to my stomach. All cheaters are from Satan that’s all they do is cause massive pain and don’t care who they hurt 😢😡

[@bronnita3018]

I ask myself the same thing..

[@CH-px1fw]

@@jensbornagain if he’s still doing it you can’t heal. Ugh why?!!! 😢

[@jeffreys.harris3433]

I had a mental affair and the other woman didn't know, but my wife sensed something! I finally told her and it crushed her, I repented of my strong hold, and ask my wife to forgive and I thought she did? However she never forgot 26 yrs later she has a flash back, for 3 days I got the silent treatment, and finally ask her what's going on she took me back 26 years ago? WOW God have mercy 👀

[@hdw237]

Forgiveness does not allow forgetting. The betrayed would do anything to forget but they never get to. Only the cheater gets off without lifelong damage.

[@christalhardy8771]

Affairs are fallacy! Infatuation= latin word for (False fire)

[@vanessarenae5169]

Wow!

[@MelVeeBroadcastingNetwork]

Thanks Danielle and pettiford. This was an awesome video. You are guys are great together! Let me know when you can do a session on Melvee on Infidelity Recovery. We get a lot of African couples on the continent and in the diaspora who struggle with infidelity and are in need of help.

[@ItsGeorgeJettson]

I was engaged and i made stupid decision to get another woman’s number but did nothing with it! I had forgotten about and knew I was wrong and didn’t even entertain it again or want to entertain it again actually. Yes it was wrong of course! However now my fiancé has left because she saw the conversation I had with the person trying to hook up her friend. I held myself accountable and I’m very remorseful and I’m doing the work to make sure it doesn’t happen again (inner healing) We have a place together and agree a week of being apart now she wants to come back live like roommates now and i don’t think I can do that because this has truly messed me up. I’m losing my bestfriend. I don’t know what to do?

[@michaelwilliamson7590]

Selah. Amen. Thank you. Your words were GOD sent.

[@joelove6508]

Thanks for the guidance and information. Please keep up the hard work.

[@DonnaDenmark]

Awesome!!! Thank you both for what you do!!😊

[@c.j.saunders6314]

Thank you this helped a lot. I try to improve myself everyday. I try to look at my part of any situation I may be in. Thank you that helps a lot.

[@richettaricks8130]

That brokenness that right there!!!!

[@tourdedogue4952]

This is good but, the big problem is - reconciliation never works. If you try it, you'll just waste more years.

[@lucylucy2171]

Never say never. There are many couples that has successfully reconciled and are happy again. It takes works but definitely works

[@tourdedogue4952]

@@lucylucy2171 I'm sorry. Huh? MANY couples? What planet are you on. And, I do take issue with people encouraging others to waste more and more years at the impossible effort. If you know of one out of 10 - well, fine. But, even that is probably on the low side.

[@lucylucy2171]

@@tourdedogue4952 I like to stay a bit hopeful and not be too negative because there are definitely more out there than you think that are willing to give the other a second chance

[@tourdedogue4952]

@@lucylucy2171 I guess I do not know one and I'm old. I do appreciate your unbridled optimism, however!

[@tourdedogue4952]

I probably shouldn't be watching this channel.

[@r.z.j.8261]

Stop the music..very distracting. I love the information

[@christalhardy8771]

I am hurting right now

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin thanks Eric

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin hi wow appreciate checking up on me. Hoping you are well . I tried to see if I could trust him again and although we don't live together just have phone calls ,and things were amicable then triggers popped up and its just not the same

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin Yes it was a start to healing ,but he still desires the other woman and now has a polygamous mindset i will not tolerate that so I write the courts back that I do not object to the divorce and no longer want anything to split in equitable distribution I just want out

[@christalhardy8771]

@Eric Martin appreciate 🙏 🙌

[@marywhibley1756]

What does it mean when you catch your spouse, then they stop, but they dont tell us that they are sorry and that it is I that they love??? They just want to sweep their emotional affair under the carpet and everything is back to normal. They dont see that we are hurting very badly.

[@christalhardy8771]

YES I feel you Mary . He wants to sweep it under the rug, lie to his family and pretend at work like his is a Saint and devout man of God. Its delusional and sad to see your own spouse turn to a reprobate mindset and refuse counseling

[@terrywade3696]

Mary Whibley: It means your spouse is a shallow and self-centered child! There’s no responsibility, no remorse, no compassion! There needs to be consequences or he will continue this abhorrent behavior! Make your pain known to him & demand counseling. If he refuses, you may have to separate. Betrayal is betrayal! Emotional affairs are every bit as destructive as physical affairs. Trust is broken and you’ve been betrayed by the one person who’s supposed to love you. I’m going through this too. My unfaithful husband has been sleeping in the guest room for almost 4 years because he hasn’t done enough repair work to prove to me that he’s safe enough to move forward with. We’re in our 33 year of marriage. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this too. I hope you establish some boundaries to protect your heart and yourself from further harm.

[@vanessarenae5169]

It's means your dealing with a very immature person who doesn't know who they are. If they expect to sweep under the carpet, and you have invited them to couples counseling, and share things your learning and reading and they refuse after a time, weeks or months it's time to separate. In that separation, they will have time to think. It will tell you if they are serious or not about healing that part of themselves, you and your marriage. If they refuse to be honest and willing after a time, then I would move on. But only you know how long you want to wait.

[@lovelyl.1606]

My husband has an emotional affair with his co worker for 21 years. My husband is verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. We have 2 children and I don't want them to be affected. My husband is not remorseful of what he had done. Please help me.

[@christalhardy8771]

Im so sorry to hear of this Lovely

[@truckingwithtobee]

Leave him. Learn from my mistakes. I stayed and it was the wrong thing to do for the children.

[@apeacefulmcadory1627]

You have a bigger issue than the affair. Abuse is nonnegotiable. And kids will be affected. I hope you left that jerk.

[@CH-px1fw]

Abuse is a deal breaker. You know the answer.

[@donnaroberts6266]

It would be easyer to listen to yall if the back ground music was not as loud as yall have makes it hard to hear you

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Every time you see your wife's body you still see your affairs body

[@christinaaskew374]

Great message

[@mitzied2035]

My husband gave me the code to his phone but still have trust issues🙁

[@Gotoworkkk]

He hides his files on the phone and you will never see them… same thing happened to me❤

[@laundrybest2290]

Teach one side lie in the end so how great to bring back peace. Money maker

[@candysmith8698]

Im a hopless case...my husband says he wants nothing to do with me...we've been together for 18yrs....i love him and never physically cheated on him and some dumb twisted way i didnt want anyone else i just wanted them to want me💔😥

[@CH-px1fw]

I think you know the answer sis. You can’t attract him or any quality man until you do the work to fix what was broken inside of you that took your attention away from your partner to seek acceptance somewhere else. You deserve to have that worked out. ❤

[@CherylWhitestone]

He never gave me a chance. Now the affair is over with an inappropriate young sex toy, she was shiny & popular because of his fame. He left me stunned, now he has realized he made a mistake, Yet now he will not even give me solid communication. He is blaming me for not forgiving him, but I have, yet he wont communicate, has shut me out. My life is devastated as I waited 5yrs, still he will not do anything concrete or solid to prove he wants to be with me, even though he sends videos, it never gets any further than that. Trust was broken, to be rebuilt I need him to make a real effort to come to me & work it out.I am close to being homeless because he left me & backstabbed me, made me feel worthless & inept. Why he thinks I can just believe a video, and not meet me physically is beyond me. ?

[@nathanmoroatshehla6255]

The music is a bit too loud though.. Great content otherwise

[@gbenga_christloveolagbemi1938]

Exactly what is happening to me...

[@SeonJames-vx2vq]

How can we reach out toy you guys directly

[@joecrocket7873]

My wife had a long-term emotional and physical affair with a man and she justifies our whole 14-year marriage as my fault for the affair. I know I'm not perfect and I didn't always be the best husband. Could it really be all my fault? she really makes me feel bad and I blame myself now. We're now trying to move on and I'm being positive and working on myself and our marriage but she wants to forget everything and dust it under the rug

[@DiamondGoddess69]

Peter it's not your fault! She made that decision and is now shifting blame. You didn't force her to cheat. That's a decision she made. My husband's mistress called me 3 weeks ago. We have been married a year and he was seeing her for 7 months. He's trying to make it my fault and it's not!! I started to feel like I was the problem but I refuse to be made the bad person! He made me the reason he created! The devil is a lie. You hold your head high and let her deal with her conscience.

[@Myeyesburnbabyburn]

“10 most common mistakes unfaithful partners make” Hope you’re doing better. That sounds like she didn’t feel much remorse.

[@Myeyesburnbabyburn]

Watch on KZbin ^^

[@Hi.Shadow]

She’s gaslighting you and refusing to take accountability for her actions of cheating.

[@Yemi927]

Hi how are you guys doing please. I wish I can talk to your wife. I was unfaithful and I hear what you say and she just needs to realize its wrong.

[@candysmith8698]

What about if u were textin pics and postin pics and talkin back and forth but really dont remember every detail of the conversations and ur spouse not believin that I've never slept with anyone else????

[@bronnita3018]

Im at this situation right now..he doing have done those things and i dont believe he hasnt been with anyone

[@shalideo]

Same here. Phone conversation recorded and call records shows long conversation with person but he says never had sex with the person. It still hurts . I don't know how a person can talk for so long and never try to meet

[@lwalker9266]

All FACTS🏋️‍♂️💯💪🏽🙌🏽

[@kellefitzpatrick7216]

so very true

[@duchessdelarue5983]

This is all bull shit. Once a partner cheats your marriage is over. The sooner you accept that and move on the better off you’ll be.

[@lucylucy2171]

No, the marriage is over when noone wants to try to work at reconciliation. It's possible. Hard, but possible. Anything is possible

[@lekgaumaja9145]

I need a direct massaging channel, to get advice from you guys

[@angelaamison4711]

When you all post the scriptures that you all reference in the comment section

[@TheCentralScrutinizerAgain]

Sorry I have self Worth, ok?

[@kelseyshae]

i feel the music is so distracting from the words lol

[@jtmoneyb4u]

What if they tell you they never gonna forgive you?

[@Anne-bb3wp]

I’d say give it lots of time. How are you doing?

[@jtmoneyb4u]

@@Anne-bb3wp I’m still fighting

[@Anne-bb3wp]

@@jtmoneyb4u me too, I wish you all the best ✨

[@jtmoneyb4u]

@@Anne-bb3wp thanks same to you 🙏🏾

[@Anne-bb3wp]

@@jtmoneyb4u Thank you. Hang in there.

[@laundrybest2290]

Why No depression lesson

[@laundrybest2290]

Not clear

[@rebeccathornburgh2632]

Can not afford counseling or therapists

[@jcimsn8464]

There are a lot of tools available..

[@Yemi927]

@@jcimsn8464 where please?

[@marthatoe149]

🙏🙏🙏

[@jilldavenport7410]

❤️