6 MIND-BLOWING misconceptions about SELF HARM - PSYCHIATRIST explores

[@hugrunj]

I had anxiety as a teen, self harming relived stress. Later after surviving severe domestic abuse, it was a way to take my mind off of mental/emotional pain. Not very many people know about this. Fortunately I have come so far that I don't "need" to do this anymore. On the rare occasion I am extremely tired and at the same time feeling bad about something external, I'll get flashes, I'll see images in my mind that are very violent, towards myself. So, I take good care to keep me healthy, happy and stress free.

[@lovegood1376]

Highly relatable 🤍 i'm glad you are better now

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

thanks for sharing

[@San_Teel]

I'm so happy your difficult journey has ended this way. I'm also happy you know your trigger warnings and can go in the opposite direction and have the strength to do so because YOU are the most important person in e everyone's life even the people you haven't met yet. Take the sharing of your story for example, you don't know how many people you have helped. I know I will think of you often not because of the negative but because of the positive ❤ Thank you

[@mandyD]

It must be a terrible state of mind to inflict physical pain on oneself to escape emotional pain. I have usually assumed that self harm is just a way of seeking attention. Thank you Dr Das for setting me straight on that misconception.

[@Lola-pi8ud]

Next to other traumatic experiences, Ihave been abused on a physical and psychological level by my own brother for 8 years and grew up to believe that I did something to deserve this. Completely lost my sense of self and self harmed for 3 years without anyone knowing. When my mom found out she slapped me across the face and disowned me for being “sick in the head”. Alas, nowadays I can say that I have overcome my self harming ways that had turned to somewhat of an addiction back in those days and I am living a happy and fulfilled live without my toxic family. Never give up , cause you never know what live still has in store for you! ❤️ YOU are worthy!

[@faithdiamond2102]

I started self-harming as a teenager. I would cut myself where it couldn't be seen. This continued until I was in my 20s. At that point I would also used my fingernails to dig at my skin in stressful moments when I couldn't get into a private place to cut. I kept it hidden. By then I was also drinking heavily. When I ended up in the hospital the first time, I admitted I was self-harming. I used the same tools I was using to quit drinking to stop self-harming. Even now many years later, I will want to self-harm in stressful situations. At times I have started digging at myself with my fingernails without any idea that I am actually drawing blood. For me I know there are so many things I am trying to say to people or communicate, but I don't have the words and even if I did I don't think I would be listened to. Sometimes I'm angry and I hurt myself because I want other people to bleed. At other times I'm in so much emotional pain that there is some kind of relief that I have a physical injury to take care of that will heal. I know how strange all these things sound, but that is my reality. I grew up in a physically abusive and neglect filled home as well as I was sexually abused by a friend's older brother when I was very young.

[@iamanaclara]

i self-harmed a few times when i was experiencing a mixed episode and started to doubt my own existence. i thought everyone hated me and were plotting against me. that strangers were looking at me, talking shit about me and laughing at me. i believed that harming myself was what other people wanted me to do or so to speak. i came quite close to attempting suicide during that episode and was hospitalized. i never realized it could be a result of psychosis until i was told so by my psych, i think that’s a different side to it that many don’t think about when it comes to self-harm.

[@blessed_mourning]

I was in an abusive marriage and did one of those "cry for help" suicide attempts, my (ex) husband called 911 and I was taken to the ward where I met a doctor who changed my life. He (and I) knew that I didn't really want my life to end, I just wanted away from the person who aided the destruction my mental health. The doctor said three words that I'll never forget: "fire his ass" in regards to my (ex) husband. I left the psych ward after 18hrs and never turned back. I turned my pain into progress by making the decision to further my education and I'm currently in university working toward a degree in forensic psychology.

[@sassysmurfette9606]

This topic is going to mean a lot to a lot of people. I think the main thing that my experience has taught me is that the intervention of mental health workers at the hospital/ED level is really important. The example with the girl who was possibly manipulative and discharged early. She was 17 (IIRC). Still a child. Having a psych available to talk to these new admissions in such cases could prevent her leaving early and potentially having further medical complications and potentially help her with further personally harmful behaviour in the future. She was having as much a medical crisis as the other patients you talked about when asking if it was fair she left. I think the most unfair thing is, the other patients were treated for all aspects of their injury where she wasn’t.

[@yvethemetriccrafter688]

A very interesting video , I do self harm , I was abused as a small child along with my sister and brother , my brother took his own life at the age of 22 . I was also abused from the age 9/10 by my friend's dad and raped at age 16 ,I started self harming in my teens , what started it was one day at school we were daring each other to do chicken scratches , I remember the feeling so clearly , and I guess it triggered something in me because from then on I self harmed by scratching myself , and picking at my skin , I always did it where it could never be seen and I still do it to this day , I'm now 52 .I am getting help after finally talking about it from reporting the abuse .I have also not only had my brother take his own life but I have known so many people who have , it's heart breaking that so many people can not find the help they need as I do believe most suicide could be prevented if the right help is given . There are of course cases where some people don't need or want help . One of my friends took her own life two years ago , it was a rational choice of hers because she was suffering a physical illness that she knew would not be cured , she decided she could not live with the problems it caused ,so she went about taking her life with a kind of seed she imported , she wrote notes to be read at her funeral so it would be clear it was her choice . I feel what ever reason someone has for either self harm or suicide , everyone deserves care and understanding and hopefully the help they need to get to a place mentally that they no longer feel the need to do it .

[@cats1900]

I'm bipolar and used to self harm. It was never to punish, it helped me feel grounded and more in control. It helped me NOT end my life. I was very secretive and alcohol/ drugs was never a component as I don't use either. My self harm was connected to depressive spells and when I was feeling especially overwhelmed. Its been over 10 years thanks to my wonderful therapist and psychiatrist who helped me stabilize. While I have been hospitalized, it was never due to self harm specifically. Thank you for covering this important topic. Edit to add a bit of detail

[@Red-ce2jz]

I always saw it as a way of visually expressing anger or frustration, i was mentally and physically abused for a long time; it was a method of fully showing that pain entrenched in what was happening. It was kind of strange because even though i was directly harming myself it felt more like i was shouting a huge fuck you to the world and circumstances i found myself in.

[@Ona1979]

I struggled with self harm for over 20 years. I have recovered and I don't have any compulsion to do it again. I have burned myself badly. It was a 3rd degree burn that needed professional would care for a month until the skin grew back. I have bruised myself with metal cooking utensils. One time I dropped something very heavy on my foot. That time, I was trying to communicate that I was not well enough to have assistance discontinued. Cutting and stabbing is what I did most often. If I knew that I'd damaged my body badly enough that I absolutely needed medical attention, I would go to the emergency room for treatment. There were times when I sutured my own lacerations so that I wouldn't have to be locked up in a psychiatric ward, because the one that I was always sent to was so toxic that I felt worse than I did when I was committed. It was just a cage where I couldn't harm myself. No treatment was given to me. I would be evaluated by a psychiatrist when he came into the office and he would tell me that I could go as long as I had no plans to harm myself again. I was locked up in that ward regularly and it was always the same psychiatrist who would tell me that I could go home. One of the times that he evaluated me, I told him that I wasn't going to cut myself again until the current cuts were healed and he still sent me home with out offering me any treatment. I didn't understand what the purpose was to lock me up for doing it, send me home and lock me up again over and over. I didn't know that mental health services existed that could have helped me. I didn't try to kill myself until I married a man who doted on me like I was a small child and restricted my freedom to that of a small child. I was raped often by my father starting when I was under 5 years old. My father was extremely violent and sadistic. H usually did not dote on me, but on the rare occasions that he did, I was treated like a romantic partner. I was a child and I didn't want to be treated like a romantic partner. Especially not by my dad, but I wasn't allowed to reject him under any circumstances and it was the only love that he showed me. My husband who was supposed to only treat me like an adult romantic partner, reducing me to the status of a child was more triggering than I could handle. No matter how unreasonable his behavior was, I couldn't convince him that what he was doing to me was wrong and that he shouldn't be doing it, but he made sure that I was completely dependant on him so that if I didn't like what was happening, I couldn't do anything to stop it. He told me that if the police tried to pull him over, that he was going to make a run for it and shoot it out, even if I was in the vehicle with him. He had counterfeit tags on his vehicle, so that increased the chances that he would be pulled over. He kept me with him as much as possible because he liked being near me, but I was in danger every time I was in the vehicle with him, which was often. He kept a loaded gun with in reach almost at all times. He wanted to die in a shootout and he wanted us to die together, even though I told him that he scaring me, every time he brought it up. If he felt that something was romantic, it was going to happen even if I was telling him that I didn't want it to happen. My husband doted on me almost constantly, but if I interrupted him while he was talking to someone he would yell at me, never to interrupt him while he is talking to someone. He told me that I couldn't eat at my parents house anymore when I visited them, even though sharing food with me was the only love my father ever showed for me. He brought me jewelry regularly and told me how nice it looked on me, but h e told me that it was his right as my husband to see me in form fitting feminine clothing. He insisted that I stay in my apartment where it was safe unless he was with me or if I was armed. I was conditioned by father to accept that behavior as loving and generous. That I wasn't allowed to reject affection under circumstances and that abuse wasn't abuse as long as the person loved me. Just like when I was a child, I didn't want to be there and I felt helpless to leave and I was conditioned to believe that not wanting to accept that affection was a crime that made me a horrible person. My father taught me that I was unlovable, that feeling love for me was a burden to him and that him loving me, was the only thing that made me worth anything. If I left my husband who I was scared of, then I would be worse than worthless. I'm sure that deep down, I was extremely frustrated that I wasn't allowed to express the physical or emotional pain that my father was causing. I think that deep down, I was phenomenally angry at my father. I think that cutting myself was the only way that I felt safe to express anger or frustration from child abuse and domestic abuse. When I was hurting myself, it felt like I was finally being able to scream in frustration, anger and pain that I was forced to keep to myself and was helpless to escape. Tearing my father's body to pieces was what I wanted to do. I was never allowed to express any of my pain or anger over any abuse ever. When I was molested by my sister with force and pain, my father told me that I wasn't allowed to talk about it with anyone. He said that I would destroy my family or that no one would believe me. I couldn't even write down what happened to me or what I was feeling, because I was afraid that my father would find out and get angry. When I was hurting myself, it was my way of screaming in rage. When I was harming myself, I felt that I deserved it and that my father should be happy that I was turning on myself. I also knew that my self harm made me even more unlovable to my father and my family. It was offensive to them. When I met people, if they found out that I had self harmed or saw the scars, they left my presence at soon as possible. A lot of people responded to my only way of screaming in frustration, with fear. I went to a doctor if I absolutely had to, but other than that, I hid my scars. My legs are covered in scars from my hips to my ankles. It is hard to find 2 square inches of skin on my legs that aren't scared. When I stopped self harming to avoid causing my husband distress, I wasn't able to keep from attempting to take my life, no matter how hard I tried. When it comes to the question of suicide being selfish, I don't think that it is, because it takes so much pain to overcome the instinct to survive. I was so scared when I swallowed all of those pills. I didn't want to be dead. I was terrified, but being alive was more painful than that fear. I arrived in the emergency room with acute respiratory failure. I was breathing 2 times per minute. They were able to save me, because it was opiates that I overdosed on. I no longer have any fear of death, as long as I am not murdered or suicide. I went to a domestic violence shelter when my ex-husband wasn't home. I transferred to s shelter that is far away from my my family and ex-husband. I didn't tell anyone that I was going and I haven't told anyone from my old life where I am. I cut off contact with everyone who I've ever known so that no one can tell my parents where I am. I have an apartment. It took me 8 months to establish myself here. I worked very hard to create a new life for myself and I am going to live this life for as long as I can and in the healthiest way that I can. I am in trauma therapy and I not going to spend any more time than I have to, being the person who has been victimized. Being a victim is what happens in the moment and I has many. What happens after those moments pass, a being a survivor. I am going to live my life that is empowered. I celebrate my own independence day, every year on the anniversary of the day that I arrived in this city and started a life for myself

[@Delightful_Debi]

Sending u a virtual hug Im so sorry u suffered horrendous abuse by those who should of truly 'Loved' u dearly 💜

[@emmaransford]

I'v have been recently referred to the local community consultant Psychiatrist. I find it difficult 😕 living with myself because, I'm highly self-driven, I self-harm to relieve 😌 pressure. I have written about living with a congenital deficiency of the, Thyroid system and how living with a limited life capacity. I have also written about how my physical health condition, impacts on my mental. Your really talented and interesting to listen to Dr Soham Das. I have recently bought your book In Two Minds.

[@Blech-h9z]

Yes, promiscuity is a form of self harm. Seen it, done it, talked about it with other survivors. Although, younger women may not see it that way.

[@leolamarchand4586]

I did go through a period of self harming when I was about 10 years old. I would push pins into my wrists. I was curious as to why it didn’t hurt. I found it amusing to watch my friends freak out. They would be very over dramatic in my mind. I don’t believe that was normal to do that, or the fact that it didn’t hurt wasn’t normal. I am very confused by my behaviour? I don’t think I will ever understand it.

[@fionabarr6064]

I have BPD this is due to the way I was brought up. I was never allowed to be angry and often the but of many jokes by my parents When I married I married a controlling man too. I spent many times I was away from my children I feel so guilty I’ll self harm. I used to do it on my arms but I now hide it on my stomach. If I get really angry I can’t express myself,if I get sad I can’t express myself and so I’ll harm. I wake in the night with no emotion to be able to feel anything I’ll cut. I no longer feel pain it’s just to see the blood that’s enough. I’ve taken two overdoses in the last six months and only because my carer found me in the morning I’m still here. The last time the paramedics said they’d got to me just in time . This is not a cry for help this is the person I’ve become. I’m 60 now and I’ve been told things will never change for me I’ll be coping with this until the day I die I also burn when I can’t cut it’s instant relief my hand is now scared for life This has been so hard to explain and has once again brought up some painful memories but I wanted to explain my journey into self harm

[@inconspicuousjoy2605]

I did it for a little while after leaving an abusive relationship as a coping mechanism, because it numbed me emotionally and took away the shame I felt for staying with someone who was abusive. 1st started drinking heavily to help me sleep at night, because I was having nightmares every night. And also the embarrassment of other PTSD symptoms. That turned into doing other self destructive things to cope with the shame which only caused more shame than eventually it came to cutting. Which was extremely emotionally relieving. I think sleeping around is more of a poor defense mechanism. There's a misconception that sexually abused victims completely avoid sex, but most end up being sex workers, because it makes them feel in control . It makes you have an extremely low self-esteem to where you think sex is all you are good for, and finally if you just do it then you will never be harmed again.

[@NKA23]

I sometimes suffer from depressions, usually only every couple of years and most of the times they're rather mild depressive episodes, sometimes I don't even need medication to overcome them, just a couple of weeks off work with lots of sunshine and fresh air, which luckily I can afford to take in most of such situations. I did have to experience a really major depressive episode once though, about 25 years ago, when I was still at university. Back then I had overworked myself for about a year, then (in the course of a few weeks) first lost my gf and then fucked up an important exam, which in combination "triggered" this major episode to gradually manifest itself over 1-2 months, then within another 3-6 months, I lost 25-30kg, often couldn't sleep well if at all and still had to keep working in my sidejob and for my studies, which didn't exactly help either. I had learned in psychology lessons that many people suffering from BPD cut or otherwise harm themselves, when they're depressive and that it gives them some kind of relief and distracts them from their dysphoric kognitions for a while. So in my deep desperation I decided to give it a try one sleepless night. I took a normal kitchen knife made to cut bread rolls (not a steak knife or something) and cut myself once. What can I say...It didn't work for me at all. I didn't feel even a shred of relief. Actually it made me feel even worse, because before I was "only" feeling miserable, thought of myself as a total failure and was substantially discontent with my life in general, but after the cut (which didn't even require stitches to heal, unlike some accidental cuts I have experienced) I was also in considerable physical pain, bled from my left forearm and thought of myself as being an idiot for doing something like that. I never even considered to do that again since then and I can't recommend it as a means to feel better while being down in the dumps. The only good thing that came out of it was that for the first time in my life I sought professional help for my depressions after that truely dark night. So to anyone reading this thinking about harming themselves: PLEASE don't, PLEASE seek psychiatric help instead. It WILL make you feel MUCH better within propably just 2-3 weeks of taking medication and it will even make you feel slightly better from the very moment you get professional help.

[@San_Teel]

After 2 months " In two Minds " eventually made its way into my paws this morning. It took less than 12 hrs to leave Manchester and arrive in Dublin. It spent the rest of March until yesterday going around Dublin on a sightseeing tour in different vans. A man an actual real life man showed up at my gate yesterday....yes Sunday....to tell me he couldn't find my package in his van so it must be on one of his colleagues vans. Not only was I informed virtually but a real life person had to rub salt into the wounds . It came this morning. I know I was born on Friday the 13th but this is taking the wee wee. It better be a brilliant read 😂😂😂😂 starting....NOW

[@DarrenFMagee]

Very well explained thank you for sharing

[@kckc4955]

I don’t know why but the shade you throw at he other “doctor” makes me lol every time.

[@Goddybag4Lee]

Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors are not really self harm. It's almost always linked to trauma and other syndromes mentally. One have to be careful with combining these two behaviors. I do BFRB I have autism and ADHD and was traumatized by an emotionally absent mom. My BFRB was the only way to get rid of stress and feelings and to keep myself safe from her tantrums.

[@inconceivabledark]

Now feels like a good time to point out how important signposting/gatewaying is.

[@isthisagoodyoutubehandle]

I'm 28 and It took me until this year to realize that it's totally not normal to choose to punch solid objects (specifically only ones that you know you can't break and that'll be the most quiet) to intentionally cause yourself pain and physical harm. I've literally been self-harming for 15 years without even knowing that's what I was doing and that it was in the same category of symptom as cutting yourself. I've nearly broken my hand several times and I've been asked a few times by others whether I've been getting into fights even though I've literally never once been in a fight before. If I'd known back then, It might have been easier for me to identify all the other signs that my mental health was getting worse and maybe I wouldn't have had to end up at the lowest point of my entire life at 28 to talk to a therapist for the first time. Boys and most others that were assigned male at birth and given a traditionally male upbringing tend to engage in self harm in different ways. (It's vaguely similar to how ADHD is underdiagnosed in girls due to how their upbringing affects their presentation and coping strategies.) I think we should all make more time to dispel stereotypes. There's lot of people suffering that see those stereotypes and never seek help because they don't see themselves in the cartoonish depiction.

[@ryanpaladino3731]

Swim well call that person Kelly. Kelly experimented with cutting behaviors in high school and kept it covered and secret, she was left with scars . She reported that it was experimental and discontinued. Later in her 20s, she was over medicated and on drugs and thought she couldn’t feel, she was so mentally absent and numb , she reported cutting to see if she could feel. She cut in secret for some time , usually on her legs, to release endorphins to feel relief. ( when she did feel it was always awful or not at all) Since , Kelly has not continued with the cutting behaviors but still engages in skin picking compulsively at times due to anxiety, and a need to remove the imperfection. This is a friend of mine who I’m close to in recovery from many things. She’s since covered the scars with tattoos but I’ve seen her kind of disassociate and just stare off at times, then if she has heavy anxiety she’s quite embarrassed of she picks and covers it with makeup. What do you do for compulsive picking? She doesn’t realize what she is doing at times and I stop her

[@anitaknight3915]

Just found your video and I really enjoy your content!! You're spot on. I'm a mental health therapist and these are the misconceptions I've found too when working with clients.

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

welcome. I insist that you watch all of my videos without taking a break!

[@San_Teel]

I had a tiny but dramatic look into someone self harming . It couldn't have happened in a better place as I was an inpatient in Acute Medical Assessment unit because I have a a condition known as Caudia Equine Syndrome. It's to do with the nerves and the spine . It was a Bank Holiday around 3yrs ago so looking back at this incident and a few more I think both Medical and people with mental health issues were put in the same unit as all of the wards were closed off. It was prepandemic. There was a lady across from me and a lady beside her who were great friends one minute and sworn enemies the next. They were both there before me. I had de esulated a few incidents by humour or going for a cigarette with one of them. The woman opposite me asked the nurse to pull her curtains all the way around the she called me and asked me to go over to her so I went and she said " watch this " and cut herself purposely on her arm and the blood was every where. I was inwardly skaken up but I kept my cool . I've never seen this happen before. I didn't say a thing but quietly went for the nurse who fixed her up then her doctors came. There's stuff that led up to this and stuff that happened after as I spoke to her 2 days later trying to leave the hospital. Thankfully somewhere in our talk she came back to a ward they had opened for her. I must admit though it was shaken up terribly

[@dottyp137]

Bringing the inside out in the only way it can be expressed. It’s easy to see when the body is in crisis but the severity of psychological distress ( which can not only feel almost unbearable, in cases of complex trauma for example, but can also be extremely physically uncomfortable and painful) is hidden. People are isolated when it comes to severe psychological pain. Isolation is death. It’s very sad 😔.

[@lucystrauss2989]

Self harm is a result of something. In some cases extreme injustice.

[@GreatAwakeningE]

Had a friend, who came off long term (20 years) prescibed anti-depressant use cold-turkey, against advice. Her mental health deteriorated, while being looked after by friends. Social services were aware. She stockpiled sleeping pills without friends knowledge. Went out for a walk at 1am. Turns out she walked 2 hours to the sea, took the sleeping pills, and drowned herself. The coroner declared it as an open verdict, not suicide!!! How is this possible? Think maybe number of suicides is under reported.

[@orangemangas2465]

My mom is a prosecutor and every year she brings up the fact that Mother's Day is the day with the lowest crime. think that says a lot about how many moms commit crimes throughout the year, but can't today because they're too busy being celebrated.

[@markjones1337]

Hahahaha, your Mum must lack logic thinking. Everyone knows it's the grandmother in every family that goes out robbing, raping, ram Raidering and killing. But they take Mothers day off to frame the daughters/Mums.

[@sunshinedesignsbend]

It says there are more criminals who love their mom and don't want to put her through the trauma of their actions. Much more believable than criminal moms taking mothers day off. Criminal moms don't have many to celebrate them. I'm sure most have kids that resent them for choosing a life of crime over parenting.

[@markjones1337]

@@sunshinedesignsbend maybe you need to take the day off, forever.

[@sunshinedesignsbend]

@@markjones1337 so childish. If you agree with the orange man, you took too many days off of school already.

[@hannahcollings6358]

Would you ever do a video on ways to support those who are going through abuse? A friend of mine is very much going through domestic abuse mentally and emotionally, it's harrowing but I do not know how to help.

[@englishteaworshipper6961]

I've been a chronic self harmer since I was about 12 years old. For me it's a coping mechanism. As a BPD sufferer I find it the only way to sort of get myself out of a spiral as I call it. I have had serious suicide attempts a couple of times but for the most part it is about coping and relieving stress. I hate the assumption it's all for attention as someone who primarily cuts on my legs I fail to see how that could be attention seeking. To be honest though even if it was for attention surely people need to realise that it's a cry for help and shouldn't be villified.

[@dirk4926]

I have not stepped in dog poo on the sidewalk since subscribing to your channel

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

exactly!

[@Baiswith]

I would say that nymphomania is self harm, as it's a behaviour where something not necessarily bad in moderation is deliberately taken too far (eating to the point of vomiting, exercising to the point of collapse, unsafe sexual practices) when the individual feels they need to punish themselves, or need to have a physical expression of what they're experiencing mentally/emotionally.

[@eatdrinkstagger]

I self-harmed because the psychological pain just wouldn't give me a break. I did once go too far and was treated horribly by the public health system. They made me feel like I was disgusting and not worthy of any care. I got stitched up pretty shabbily. It stayed hidden until I had to be a bridesmaid at my sibling's wedding -- it wouldn't have been noticed otherwise! No one cared, it, and my mental health issues were always an inconvenience. Both my parents were psychiatric nurses, and one was very physically and psychologically abusive because I was assigned female at birth. The option to talk about abuse or assault would destroy my family, and probably me, because I know they either wouldn't believe me, or blame me for what had happened to me. I'm still incredibly ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to avoid self-harm. I was later diagnosed with c-PTSD (I already have MDD, and also got diagnosed with PMDD) and have resigned myself to the fact that I won't ever feel safe till my abuser dies. I'm neither a gal or guy, I'm non-binary. On the bright side, my deepest scar, the 'zipper', always aches when rain is near!

[@kyliejones8827]

Interesting video. 👍 I self-harmed (caused bruising) from teens to mid thirties and very occasionally still do it. I'm coming up to 60. Triggered by frustration, anger, sadness, shame - basically when feeling emotional and feeling powerless to express these emotions in other ways eg by communicating with the person who has upset me. I wouldn't say I was abused as a child but I was extremely fearful of my dad. My siblings bore the brunt of his wrath. As the youngest, I developed ways of coping such as being quiet, not speaking up, not making any waves, then as a teen, coping would be in the form of self-harming, alcohol use and possibly promiscuity. Enough about me. What do you think about my hair? 😂

[@CC-lh7tj]

I did used to hurt my head a lot just absent mindedly but one time accidentally and caused an orbital fracture -- ouch. It really made me more careful and give up roller blading and take stock of my risky ways. I gradually reeducated myself to be more self caring. But I still enjoy substances that make me disinhibited and eventually Ketamine therapy plus micro dosing psilocybin helped banish the perplexing anxiety that plagued me .Why governments place barriers to these treatments should clue us all in to the fact that they really work when combined with mindfulness and intention to develop innate potential. We should all just learn to love our journeys and be happy to be alive.

[@San_Teel]

Can I just REALLY recommend Dr Das book " In Two Minds ". I thought I would read it slowly but I can't put it down. It's one of those books that you will read over and over again. If you're not into this kind of book I would urge you to gift it to someone who is. It would make a great and perfect present for birthdays etc and it's great value for money. I couldn't get over the value for a hard copy. ❤

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

aw shucks, Sarah. You're making me blush! x

[@San_Teel]

@@APsychForSoreMinds oh don't worry, if it was a bad read I would have said so too 😁

[@gga474]

Excellent book, should be on every psych students reading list.

[@gearupgifts]

The incident with the 17 year old taking paracetamol because her boyfriend was about to leave her is quite sad. Staff who work in hospitals are going to have to deal with immature adults and as such should show some patience towards them (probably rarely do though because of more urgent cases) but to me it's a red flag. Where is this girl going to be in 5 years when she is still a relatively young adult? She needed the one thing the NHS are unable to give.... Time. Is sexual promiscuity a form of self harm? Well yes in an oblique way, it is. You are putting yourself at risk of some serious sexually transmitted diseases, some which are fatal... So yes, sexual promiscuity is extremely dangerous if carried out without barrier precautions and you can put this practice into the self harm category if the person doing it is doing so knowingly and without barrier precautions. Extremely dangerous...... If you cut yourself, then stop, the wounds will eventually heal. If you contract hepatitis or HIV..... Well, that's horrendous! 18 deaths by suicide every day..... Oh man...... 😔😔

[@Delightful_Debi]

I started self-harming when i was a teen It was a way for me to release my emotions that as a child i didn't really understand them It helped me to cope again after i had bled Felt for a while all the horrible emotions disappeared for a while My Self-harming stems from childhood abuse in many forms Also family male friends sexually assaulting me Then having to deal with bullying throughout my school life As i got older i got involved in relationships which i was used just for their sexual gratification but bene told i was loved and that i meant the world to them Then ended up in another relationship which again domestic abuse more mental torture I'm nearly 50 and i still self harm sometimes but not as often as i use to I tried ending my life many a times due to feel unworthy unloved Not knowing who what or how i suppose to think and feel I'm diagnosed with a few mental health problems I hate myself the person who i am It will never change sadly

[@karate-rye9964]

Self harm is a difficult one, I have autism and ADHD, I tend to bite my arms and punch things when I get angry.

[@inconceivabledark]

Very interesting and informative. Thank you.

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@nicolemaddison2945]

I was a Teacher of Children with Additional needs- I had quite a few self harming students- self soothing by plucking body hair was an interesting one. In my limited experience it was always a self soothing mechanism. I think my brother gets tattoos as a soothing mechanism- could that be the case?

[@KatJ3st]

Agreed!

[@Blech-h9z]

Dig "The Prisoner" jacket. I once carved "Get F**ked" just above my knee. At the office my skirt rode up and my male co worker had thoughts. I've had anxiety/depression issues and it sounds weird but sometimes I have to hurt myself to see how I'm doing. If I can feel it, I'm okay. If it doesn't hurt much I know I better get happy. I found that out accidentally, when I burned myself so badly I blistered, but didn't feel it. Am I going to post this? Well, it might be useful at trial, so here goes.

[@lisatuckett6386]

I love Dr. Grande. I wish you wouldn’t put him down.

[@sourcreamking]

When it comes to the issue with A&E time/resources, I would think they have a triage system in place?

[@Raztiana]

Almost 20 years ago it was (for some weird reason) in to wear a leather string around your neck in a certain way....I used to take mine off and tie it far too tight around my wrist. I did this for several seconds at a time, and several times in a row, often several times most days. I was 14, and I did it because children can't handle daily bullying by adults (two teachers), and my parents refused to let me move to another school. I'm still sick, and wondering if it's actually possible to get rid of this depression. It began almost 19 years ago.

[@dottyp137]

Dr Grande jokes 🤣….. you’re very funny. Such Witt! 🤩😁

[@Nicole-sh7bm]

I've been cutting myself since I was like 13. I'm in my 30s now and have recently (about the past year or so) started cutting myself again and I don't know how to stop. I'm scared. I can't control my emotions, my life is falling apart and I literally have nobody to talk to. I'm ruining my family and I just want it to stop. I don't want to be like this anymore but I don't know how to just STOP. I have a psychiatrist, I have a therapist, but I can't bring myself to be completely honest with them so it's pretty useless. I've had these people in my life for years now and I still can't just be completely honest about how I feel and what I do to myself.

[@sunshinedesignsbend]

First you have to have a care team who you trust will hold your words in confidence. Why don't feel like you can be completely honest with them? If you worry about your family finding out what's said between you and your care team, ask your care team why, or when/what circumstances would they share with your family. Dr's have to report self harm and suicidal thoughts/tendencies/actions, to other qualified health/social workers, but it is against privacy to share that info with your family/friends.

[@scarba]

What is the relationship between autism and self harm?

[@mikeballard8404]

I would say that back when I was young, (50 years ago) suicide was rare, now it's fairly common! What's up Doc?

[@SBGFSisBroGamingFun]

No one knew they were hurting me. i had so many friends they who were all fake when they left me. i couldn't take the pain. i saw that people said it maid you feel better, so i tried it it made me feel better. so, continued every time i had been hurt, i would self-harm it made me feel better, and i hide it. Im not suicidal but i do think about suicide as a normal thought every minute or 2.

[@davekennedy6315]

Did Lockdown effect suicide rates? I also worry on the effect it had on our children, with basically a year of not mixing with peers, a year without school and major damage to learning, a year of severe restrictions on pretty much everything. I think we will look back on Lockdown as possibly the biggest mistake of modern times.

[@pamelaadam9207]

Our rates localy during lockdown went down. We expected the reverse but nope

[@janinemccartha1811]

Hi Dr. Das. Hope you're having a fabulous evening. I have known of several people who've done self harm not only by cutting, but also addictions. Thanks for another great video that is on point as well. Much happiness to you and your family also, peace, Janine Smiley🤩😍😎😀🙂🍩🍪🍰

[@markjones1337]

Dr Das. Considering the fact the Rockefellers have greatly influenced med schools since the 1930s, and Freud had similar 'hobbies' to Sir Jim, do you not worry ALL branches of modern/western medicine may have be corrupted?

[@gailcullinan]

Self harming is something which I have never been able to get my head around. Does same constitute some kind of psychosis? Is it perhaps a predisposition to suicidal thinking?

[@lovegood1376]

Think of it as a manifestation of the acting out defense mechanism,as someone who has a history of self harm I can tell u it sometimes has very little to do with actually wanting to die I think of it as any other compulsory behaviour that someone does to manage stress really

[@laraparks7018]

They're experiencing intimate terrorism I know many people whom committed SUICIDE and they were being tortured by people whom were supposed to love them

[@davekennedy6315]

As a former drug addict I see my use at least in part as self harm. I used to deliberately take large doses or dangerous mixes at times of stress. I literally didn't care at the time what it did to me or if it could kill me. I also knew fellow addicts that self harmed, seeing some literally just after they'd cut themselves badly. I also knew plenty that had the scars of previous harm. So although I've never cut myself I do understand why people do it.

[@gailcullinan]

@@lovegood1376 No thanks I am normal and balanced and shall not defer my thoughts otherwise.

[@lovegood1376]

@@gailcullinan what a horrible and stigmatizing response wow...and to think you are in a psychiatry channels comment section

[@tracyharrington2112]

Hi doctor Das if you were feeling completely out of control and had seriously self harmed and had suicidal ideation what would you do if you were desperate and had no family support you would try to get help if it was a crisis situation to try to survive for your children mine are grown up but seriously affected by a narcissist ex husband who emotionally put them down and took no responsibility for his actions ive taken all the responsibillty on for his behaviour towards me and my adult children i was sexually abused by a caretaker at my primary school in birmingham and its not just destroyed my life but has deeply affected my kids because ive been in and out of psychiatric hospitals all my adult life im not abusive and always put everyone before me always why do i have to take the pain on for the abuse ive suffered at the hands of controlling men i have so much empathy and compassion for people and animals ive never directed my anger to anyone and yes im a borderline but have put up with shit from men all my life to protect my children i have always taken my anger out on myself and never anyone else i have so much repressed anger but its always directed at myself ive set fire to myself because of the constant emotional pain i am in i took your book to the psychiatric i was in before christmas 2022 and thank god it kept my mind active because there was no stimulation in there but the staff at the royal cornhill hospital in aberdeen were kind and it allowed me to regain control and reset my mind i have bpd on a severe level and bloody hell it does not get any easier with time in my case had it since i gave birth to my first child in 1992 and im still going to hospital at the age of 56 i would not wish this diagnosis on anyone.you wanted the real truth from someone who has suffered bpd most of their life.this is my life

[@mrlee924]

You have got to do a video on the psychiatrist on Depp trial last night! Mate youtube went bonkers.....🤪

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

Just uploaded it sir

[@hannahcollings6358]

I self harmed from age 8-17 (cutting & vomiting) solely because it's what I saw around me growing up.

[@trustnoone9921]

Self harming, worked well for me for my entire life. I started cutting my left forearm with a small serrated kitchen knife. My parents tried to ignore it. I was intrigued by it. Specifically and subjectively, i felt guilt for doing something that was causing my parents a noticeable degree of discomfort, rather than compassion :) However, my selfishness allowed me to continue. Until, one day, one cut too deep caused my skin to part, momentarily like a thin lipped mouth until the blood surged and gushed from deep inside my heart. More recently i have tried various methods of self harm. Undoubtedly, my absolute favourite is to use my portable blue light laser. I can control this, unlike the blade of a knife, to only generate the appropriate degree of pain, commensurate with the intensity of the torture in my head. Its like active noise cancelling on headphones. Im expelling, exorcising the madness in my head for every second that laser cooks and drills into my skin. Thats not the bit with a similarity to noise cancelling headphones:) Lasers can burn as deep as i choose but what i love is that every scar posseses its own characteristics, features, enabling me to read my scars like lines on a page. I recommend self harming as self therapy but closer to self medication as it only addresses the symptom not the cause. I know the cause already, i think, and it im right then i choose to learn no more

[@jobonney7987]

Yo Sohom xxx

[@jadethomas329]

I would argue that promiscuity is self harm in a way. There's a definite disregard of your own safety and wellbeing (stds, pregnancy, where/who you're having sex with) but I suppose the actual aim isn't to directly cause yourself harm so maybe we need a new umbrella for that x

[@mandyD]

Stepping on dog poo on the sidewalk is one thing. What about finding human poo in your bed? Can you guarantee that that will never happen to me - seeing as I have subscribed?

[@APsychForSoreMinds]

yes. Guaranteed or your money back.

[@mandyD]

@@APsychForSoreMinds 🤣😅😂 that is very reassuring. It is something I have worried about most of my adult life. 🤭

[@DrDirt-fk5ls]

Topic for you. Genital injury/mutilation. Specifically, "penectomy", with a non sexual or gender context.

[@rheanstatements]

??? placing yourself into dangerous situations repeatedly isn't a form of self harm in your mind? not dangerous situations where the endorphin rush is assured, like sky diving, racing and other physical sports (ski/snowboard) where the danger is minimised by instruction etc... bar hopping, bed hopping, over consumption of substances and overconsumption of sensations without any concern for safety IS mos'defs a form of self harm 0_o i guess you have to case by case it with everything, but if say like myself, you started self harming at 12/13, then started being promiscuous (or at the very least trying to, when i recall the situations i narrowly avoided yeeesh) at 13/14 i think you'd definitely have to view it as self harming. it took me years to accept that it was that, and not me being extra mature/precocious. but THAT is a huge problem in western society post sexual liberation :P

[@rheanstatements]

i way got the wrong take-aways from 'reality bites'... i was all like she has a list? instead of theres diseases that will kill you :P

[@gorey4more837]

This is OFF TOPIC. Please, please, please do a video reacting to Amber Heard psychiatrist witness that testified today - 05/23/22. I am so very interested in what you will make of this "expert witness." He is extremely disagreeable, argumentative, and combative with the plaintiff's counsel. (Very uncomfortable so) Dr. David Spiegel is his name. TY, Dr. D. ❤️🌺

[@laraparks7018]

How can you speak about reasons people self harm if you never did? Instead of hypothesis or theories , studied in a book, ask people who survived self harm , like a survey perhaps.

[@sunshinedesignsbend]

I would safely bet that most health care professionals haven't personally self-harmed. Most health care professionals earned their degree by studying a variety of subjects. The scientific method includes hypothesis and theories. Other Dr's aside from mental health care professionals, are interested in mental health issues. A pain management specialist may ask about mental health and abuse history. If you're quick to ask why they want the info from you; if they haven't experienced these things themselves, well I wish I could see it. A pain management specialist understands how mental health and history of abuse, strongly correlates to decreased threshold of pain tolerance. With honest answers, the specialist can help determine whether or not mental health medications, and other treatments can help reduce physical pain symptoms, rather than just masking symptoms with pain killers.

[@laraparks7018]

@@sunshinedesignsbend there's physical pain tolerance and there's emotional and psychological pain tolerance..mandate those causing pain to psych services..than you'll see a pattern...a victim, a perp ..and whose really sick, and whose being tortured

[@sunshinedesignsbend]

@@laraparks7018 Mental and emotional abuse in childhood, lead to decreased physical pain tolerance, because; neuropathways don't develop properly in abusive conditions. Why a pain management specialist will ask a woman in her 30's if she was abused as a child, because that can help identify factors of pain. It's common for abused children to grow up having pain management issues, including fibromialga.

[@laraparks7018]

@@sunshinedesignsbend right, auto immune diseases, anxiety, depression, PTSD, hormone imbalance, gastric issues, strokes, heart attacks are all caused by a psychopath in the midst. These psychopaths target victim and drive them to insanity, homelessness, drugs, SUICIDE and murder The psychopaths target becomes a puppet on strings that the psychopath pulls Study covert psychological murder and MENTICIDE We need to get to the causes of mental illness and hold the perps accountable for the abuse.

[@sunshinedesignsbend]

@@laraparks7018 You sound knowledgeable on the subject. What I don't understand is the original comment you wrote. You ask how he could speak on reasons for self harm if he hadn't experienced it. It makes perfect sense to me for a Dr. to try and help others with the resources obtained through higher learning, by reaching out to those who experience trauma and don't have the resources to work through it. His understanding could help those who don't understand. Also, he did post a survey about self harm.

[@MsPenink]

Is BDSM self harm?

[@JM-ot8ux]

*Can confirm on endorphins.

[@carmelmhennessy9738]

I'm disappointed that you use the phrase "commit suicide". To commit suicide makes it sound like a crime and it isn't. I think that people who have tried to end their own lives and didn't actually kill themselves have enough of a burden to deal with without having to listen to people using archaic language like commit suicide. I know most people will see this comment as pointless or think that I'm oversensitive but it really grinds my gears when anyone uses the term commit suicide.

[@DrDirt-fk5ls]

NHS propaganda. Propaganja! I'm an American. Can't knock on my door! Deleting actually questions, and concerns? Get a proper fitting shirt. So 2015!