8 Unexpected Ways We Self-Harm & How to Stop

We often think of self-harm as something visible, but did you know that there are ways we can harm ourselves that are not so obvious? In today's video, we'll explore the eight ways we invisibly self-harm and how we can work towards healthier coping skills.
Discover:
How everyday habits like not eating right and working too much can damage your well-being.
The surprising link between guilt and anxiety.
Why perfectionism is secretly hurting you.
The danger of staying in toxic relationships.
How shopping sprees can be a form of self-harm.
The silent damage of isolation.
When exercise becomes obsessive and harmful.
Plus:
Practical tips to break free from these invisible self-harm behaviors.
Resources to help you build healthy coping skills.
Watch and learn how to truly care for yourself, both physically and emotionally. Take control of your mental health and stop harming yourself in disguise!
Watch This BEFORE You Start Therapy • Watch This BEFORE You ...
-----------
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com/kati
Join my channel to get access to perks:
/ @katimorton
MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
MERCHANDISE spreadshop-admin.spreadshirt....
PATREON www.katimorton.com/kati-morto...
SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE
Instacart: www.instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB
Amazon: www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton
PARTNERSHIP
Linnea Toney [e-mail]
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy

[@tamarabob]

0:49 Not feeding ourselves regularly 2:50 Not taking breaks and overworking ourselves 5:41 Guilting ourselves 8:40 Perfectionism 11:30 Staying in unhealthy relationships 14:22 Overspending 16:53 Isolation 19:53 Over-exercise

[@myaccount9498]

Thank you 💜

[@sorayaassar1602]

Thank you!!

[@thanawantamseree9264]

Thank you

[@RNCHFND]

5/8, so I'm not doing great

[@MMStrademark]

For me, it’s calling me some of the worse names in the book either when I do something wrong or loose a long time friend. Not sure why I do that but in the beginning in an odd way it used to make me feel better. Not sure if that makes much sense at all to anybody?

[@halfmoonjoker1907]

I lost 100lbs and got pretty athletic, and now it’s pretty uncomfortable when people congratulate me, because I was just doing it to self harm.

[@nurulsyiffaishak6281]

I thought it was just me, I'd go into running for the sake of feeling the rapid heart rate afterwards and the muscle sores. Its hard to make sense of the emotional pains and numbness that physical pain will do the work just as well. But in the end, we feel both emotional and physical pain and that sucks!

[@indridcold8433]

Many harmful acts do have positive side effects. For instance, fuel injection, Saturn rockets, practical jet engines, jet fighters, many osteopedic surgery techniques, synthetic oil, were all Nazi inventions. All of us know what kind of people they were. But positive did come from their evil as a side effect. Thus, accept your positive side effect. I would work double as hard when depression hit me, but only for myself, not my work. I work four nights a week and have three nights a week off. On the three nights a week, I often work very hard on my property. If the depression feels worse, then I work harder. I lost 49 pounds, an very athletic, have great stamina, and am very endurant. I also have an immaculate property that resembles something like Eden. My house is spotless clean. My ancient automobile could not be cleaner if it were new, even in the envíen compartment and under carriage. But none of this was made for personal gain. It is a remedy for horrible depression. If I my muscles are aching, my heart pounding, my breathing pumping hard, I am hot and physically working hard, I am less depressed. There is an abandoned Chevrolet 5 window pickup truck on my property. I carted cleaning supplies to it. It is rather away from my home and in the forest. I cleaned that thing immaculate. In spring, I am going to be trying to bring it to my driveway and try to get the engine to start. None of this is for gain, only deep depression remedy.

[@RobRaptor49]

I'm sorry. 😢

[@Catsandjessica]

Wait same

[@pollux9967]

Thank you for sharing that.

[@chirpieone9193]

I harm myself by depriving myself of sleep. I am sure I am not the only one with this habit. It affects every aspect of my life- my brain function, my mood, physical health. It is a decades long issue which I cannot seem to improve.

[@Amy_BH_06]

Me too. I'm still in school and it really affects how I function at school. But ironically, most of the time I deprive myself of sleep, it's because of school. Because I need to get some work done or my teachers will shout at me. I've even pulled a couple of all nighters 😬. I've also noticed that whenever I don't get enough sleep, my mental health goes to pot too. I know most students struggle with this too

[@stephgreen3070]

Yup. I used to over exercise, restrict food and restrict sleep. I jokingly called myself a sleep anorexic. (The joking about it was a coping mechanism in itself.) Unfortunately my big wake up call was when I unexpectedly lost both my previously healthy parents within 9 weeks of each other. It came crashing down all around me that our time on earth is short and I need to stop beating my body up and being so restrictive so I can be there for my family and friends while I’m here. Sounds fatalistic, but it was actually really really freeing.

[@chazegnew2904]

Yeah I revenge bedtime procrastinate to try to take back time. But I know it really takes more time away from me, makes me more tired, and makes me feel more down.

[@els1f]

​@@chazegnew2904this is it precisely!

[@sarahgracetherese]

Me as well. You are not alone

[@tsyt7777]

Very relatable. 5:34 “if I was being lazy, I’d be enjoying myself”; very useful qualification!

[@TheLoveMiku]

But if you are taking a break you should enjoy it too. So this could confuse someone that taking a break is just being lazy

[@zeldawolff358]

This is a a very difficult one for me, having both ADHD and anxiety. ADHD causes executive dysfunction, which spikes anxiety. In my head I just call myself lazy, but sometimes it feels like I physically can't move

[@noonehere_kasut]

The guilt one is so difficult when it's related to culture. You know you're logically not doing anything wrong by wanting some space for yourself for example, but your family and friends think you are wrong, make it a huge deal out of it, and give you grief for it.

[@ellen823ful]

Oh! I NEED space. Sometimes I just go for a drive just to be alone and think.

[@jkwellness1639]

You hit the nail right on the head.

[@seabreeze4559]

emotional abuse?

[@AnittaVoland]

Not just family culture, but work culture as well. Being judged by coworkers for setting boundaries hits hard

[@garyExposMtl]

16:53 : This is the hardest one. Being around people makes me feel like shit. But not being around people make me feel lonely. there's no solution other than prolonged depression. None.

[@blondie7740]

If you can get a pet. If you not able to own a pet, volunteer at a rescue or shelter. Animals provide amazing companionship, and unconditional love

[@ellen823ful]

May I ask you a question 🙋. Is it every single person you meet? Even a person at the grocery store? 🙋‍♀️ can you just try baby steps like, a smile 😊 and a Have a nice day! Try it. It’s scary but it gets easier with practice. Have good eye contact when you smile at someone. You are not the only sensitive person. In this day and age a lot of people need loving kindness.

[@lyspaere]

I joined different choirs in the community until I found one that seemed accepting of misfits like me. Everyone else was shy and it was pretty hard but I was enjoying the music, at least. After a few months, people started to open up. It turned out we were all starting small and learning to connect after being hurt. I still don't feel really close to them, but at least I have a "place with people" I can go to that doesn't feel shitty. Maybe I'll have a close friend in my neighborhood someday.

[@mousethehuman7179]

loneliness is such an underrecognized sucker of a feeling. If there are days or other periods of time where you can't take the fight with yourself to be around people, maybe personal attention ASMR or social ambience background noise might help a bit? It helps me sometimes. Anyways, stay strong my friend, take your time and space to fight the loneliness, I believe in you. Even if I'm just some stranger on the Internet, too

[@kriskros4900]

This. This. Like what are we supposed to do??? Like i'm confused-

[@steceymorgan814]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Is he on instagram?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

[@theladyamalthea]

My family wanted me to stay with my abusive husband, denying the abuse. Cutting hurtful, harmful people out of my life involved going No Contact with a LOT of people.

[@somethingclever8916]

Staying in toxic relationships is a form of self harm imo Congrats from getting out

[@theladyamalthea]

@@somethingclever8916 Thank you. I don't think I can fully agree with your statement though, because abuse does take time to figure out. If you figure out you're being abused and then STILL stay, that is probably a form of self harm, but there is a lot of "fog" or confusion about abuse when one is trapped in it. That's exactly how the abusers get away with it for as long as they do. They sometimes act kind and loving, like how they first did when they were love bombing you, and you think, "There they are! The person I fell in love with is still in there!" and it gives you hope to keep on trying, believing one day you will find a way to bring out their good side permanently. Some people do stay because their abuser has convinced them they're worthless and they'll never do better, but others stay because they are very patient, kind, forgiving, and empathetic.

[@lalatkesharirout2477]

They act like caring when someone's eye on them.

[@ayekantspeylgud]

I’m genuinely surprised “overeating” wasn’t on the list, or mentioned as a flip side of number one (i.e. “under eating or over eating”).

[@jkwellness1639]

Bump

[@Vanda-il9ul]

I have been waiting for it. Disappointing. Surely should be there. I am not a professional. Just observer.

[@cosmic1920]

It should be on there. Overeating and eating junk can stem from mental health issues. It can also stem from trauma and abuse too. My husband's father was extremely abusive to him when he was growing up, both physically, verbally, and emotionally. His sister could do no wrong and he could do no right and the father ALWAYS compared him to her, asking him why he couldn't be like her. He wasn't always obese, wasn't overweight when I met him, but would eat like there's no tomorrow. He once told me that he was surprised that he lived to be 30 years old (he wasn't planning on it neither.) He has ALOT of anger issues, has frequent outbursts of anger, low self-esteem, is very sensitive and has bad anxiety. He's very obese. Still gets angry way too easily and probably will never enjoy life. He doesn't forgive, others and especially himself. He blames himself for problems, even ones he has no control over. He had a close call 10 years ago and recently he has told me that he feels it would have been better for me if he had died.

[@stormy_eyes_7891]

Disordered eating of this kind, also has a diagnosis and name: binge-eating. An eating disorder that is characterized by eating a lot, without listening to your body of it being full, followed by guilt, purging, extended exercise to "make up for it ", Starving for days until the inevitable binge again, or you continue to eat more and more, gaining harmful weight, that also has an impact on your bodie's heart, blood and other organs. Self image issues and trauma are usually tied with this form of self harm.

[@TeriLarkin]

Maybe overeating wasn’t included because this was specifically about invisible self harm.

[@XyzXyz-cd3kl]

For everyone going through a hard time.. we're all proud of you and you've got this ❤

[@Katimorton]

xoxo

[@bxyamilabertoni382]

❤

[@Stubbornclarity]

Thank you so much,I'm sure struggling with the temptation to relapse on alcohol after a particularly traumatic breakup. It's been hard keeping up the fight to be sober when everything is falling apart.:⁠-⁠(

[@platosbeard3476]

If you're coming out of a long period of isolation, it's a good idea to have your boundaries in order and a list of qualities you *need* another person to have. If you don't, there's a good chance you'll crap-fit with anyone that comes along - and it's miserable. The top 1 on my list is 'they must being putting in the same effort as I am'.

[@sarahanderson4300]

Very good point! I crap-fit a "friend" who previously abandoned me because I felt so desperate for a friend. Guess what...she did it again. I now have much better boundaries and expectations, including equal reciprocity.

[@Katimorton]

Totally agreed!! Thank you so much for mentioning :) xoxo

[@ivangordy8957]

Probably doesn’t make sense but I feel too “low class” to benefit from this content. This is like help for people who can afford doctors. Or not to work 55 hours a week.

[@TheLadyBlerd]

Legitimately. The class blindness is wild.

[@LFridaA]

Please do a video on overspending. I have ADHD and autism and this year I aim to be debt-free at last. But it’s a huge struggle. I hate how powerless I feel sometimes😭💔💔😰

[@faeriesmak]

I have both as well and also tend to spend more than I want to be.

[@penelopepadmore3248]

SAME!!!!!!!

[@sharkitty]

I feel this. Buying myself things is like a way of self soothing and giving myself a false sense of control. It sucks.

[@cajones5956]

PLEASE, I need to understand more about my OVERSPENDING and (the anxiety I get thinking about) REENGAGING.

[@sarahlyons2740]

Me too…. No idea how to stop.

[@ryoku1236]

I used to do a lot these. Working too much, overspending, chasing perfection, staying too busy, working out excessively, holding on to all this guilt for no reason. As horrible as it was, it took the lockdown during the pandemic to make me slow down and realize how much I was harming myself. I wish I had this video back then, but even just listening to it now it was really helpful and made me put into perpspective just how far I've come in the last few years. Commenting for engagement, because I really hope it helps someone else.

[@prace7812]

Hey Kati, can you do a video about self-talk? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the way we talk to ourselves / our inner monologue has a massive impact in our happiness and mental state. Are there scientifically proven ways to improve it?

[@kathykonkle1097]

There's an old book still available if you search for it called "Talking to Yourself" by psychologist Pamela Butler that is very helpful.

[@haileybischoff5943]

There’s also a book called “Chatter: The Voice In Our Head” by Ethan Kross. It is a book about the science of how to positively impact that voice. It was an interesting read.

[@kryssalou]

it definitely does, i learned about this in many drug rehabs but a video would be cool!

[@AmandaMG6]

Also sleep hypnosis. "You are" affirmations are proven effective. One KZbinr that does this well is Thomas Hall. His channel is "minds in unison." Another channel is Antony Reed. The periods of time as you're falling asleep and the periods of light sleep are perfect times to change that inner monologue so I play it all night to make sure I get those times.

[@alicewytch3678]

This is a great idea for a yt video. Negative self talk is unbelievably harmful.

[@shurml6236]

Overworking was always encouraged in my family, if i ever went to my mom for comfort/ advise she'd always say too just keep busy. If you have time to be sad/anxious ect you're not busy enough, this aggravated the situation in many ways but it's still the only advice she gives. She also wholeheartedly believes it helps she has declining health now and continues even though it's noticably affecting her.

[@blondie7740]

I stopped eating on a basis when my marriage collapsed. I found being hungry really increases my anxiety and depression, and fed into the idea that a failed marriage was my fault and I deserved to feel horrible. When I realized this pattern, I have been more mindful of eating healthy meals when I am hungry. I find I feel much better and have more energy and focus to regulate my emotions.

[@gingerinthedesertcreations]

I self harm with food because feeling over full or queasy is a quick and easy distraction from emotional pain. I've only really been in tune with the idea that that's what I'm doing for a year or 2. Trying to figure out how to break the cycle. Awareness is just the beginning.

[@Katimorton]

Awareness is the first step.. then we can figure out what are triggers are and try some other healthier ways of coping :) You will get there!! xoxo

[@ifetayodavidson-cade5613]

Part of the challenge is that with 24 hour grocery stores and late night restaurants, food, online shopping, and other unhealthy coping mechanisms are available 24/7. In contrast, it's not considerate to call a friend late/early if it's not an emergency, and not necessarily safe to go for a walk too early/late.

[@Vanda-il9ul]

Fingers crossed for you. It is a real problem. It does really help fight emotional pain better than anything else. I guess this is how alcoholics work too.

[@lily.810]

can other people that is coping with with overeating binging state what health problems they encounter and what they did after that that made them went into recovery and not fall back to this maladaptive coping way? also, what are effective coping mechanisms when one doesn't have goals in life if distractions doesnt exactly work out in the long run if in isolation? (I agree with prev commenter that sometimes can't really call another person too often they get frustrated.)

[@goodsamaritangaming1997]

I'm glad you mentioned this. In 2019, I had a nasty car accident. I mean it was kind of a miracle because I was unharmed, but a tree fell on my car on my way home from work and flipped it. It didn't damage me physically, but it was definitely traumatizing. I didn't have the emotional support I needed afterward, so I developed a few of these symptoms. I started working harder as a people-pleaser, I tried to be perfect to get someone's love and attention, I isolated when nothing else paid off. It was an eye-opener on how life can really shut you down and not many people are there when you actually need them. I couldn't afford a therapist, so I ended up trying out a recovery program that has brought me quite far. I still could use a therapist if I ever come up with the money, but my recovery program helped me do some searching for the problem, so I can be more open with my therapist when the time comes.

[@XCMRM80]

Complex PTSD and I do a few of these and when I can’t I often return to other methods of self harm. Excessive exercise is my big one though, running up and down a hill until I’m physically sick but I always saw it as a skill until watching this video. Thanks for all you do Kati! ❤

[@KatJ3st]

I decided to do the exercise thing mindfully. I got a trainer at a gym and developed a strength training and fitness program. Now I'm getting the positive effect of endorphin without breaking my body down. Then I want to eat better food for improving my results. The walking my dogs and listening to KZbin or Audiobooks

[@hedgehogshill3522]

I have told quiet some people that their exercise is far too much to be healthy for them, and they denied it and said u can't overexercise as long as you don't insure yourself too much (like, idk ripping muscles). I really need to show them this video. Hope you find a way to keep it healthy

[@TheAlixour]

I think I went through this unconsciously in my 20's through running. I probably needed to rest more. It was the only place within I felt free.

[@abowling5759]

Definitely would love a video addressing overspending and ways to cope with its triggers.

[@Dramaction]

Yes please

[@elizabethforsyth3054]

I shop on line and put things in baskets and then don't buy.... helps a bit

[@abowling5759]

@@elizabethforsyth3054 I sometimes will do that. It does help somewhat…

[@taleapattemore9375]

Same

[@TheMayaangelsmommy]

Body modification as a socially acceptable form of self harm. I went through a phase in my young adulthood after being confronted about more dangerous forms of self harm in my teens. Blessings!

[@saoirse2963]

Medical transition is an extreme form of body modification, sold as an act of self love.

[@user-jg4zu2qf7k]

Can you do a video on oversharing and how it's defensive? How to be mindful of when it's happening and coping skills to work on this?

[@stoffls]

guilty of isolation and overspending. And probably a few more but those are the first that come to my mind

[@Katimorton]

xoxox

[@jkwellness1639]

It took until i got really sick to realize how disconnected I was from my body. I forgot what its called but when I'm in a crazy stressful situation I feel like I'm hovering over my body or disassociated. I went from an addict to a perfectionist and now I'm doing what I've gotta do without adding unnecessary stress and pain into my life. It has felt like for the first time in my life I can actually breathe. Thanks for sharing. This was very insightful. The emotional awareness in this video are helpful tools to have.

[@jenniferrogers9961]

I never thought that the “guilt” I always feel could be another emotion. I am going to look into this more. I feel this could be good work to focus on with my therapist. Thanks Katie! I really appreciate this video some very valuable information.

[@JR-vr6ri]

Kati you are always so insightful and hit the nail on the head with everything you discuss in your videos. I've recommended you to others in the drop in support groups I attend. 😊

[@MidlifeMindsetMakeover]

Love the topic one thing I wanted to call out on over work is some sadly have to survive ie multiple jobs or insane hours. It doesn’t leave much time to find better and could be what’s familiar. The overworkout is also such a hard thing esp if your value as a woman who desires certain lifestyles. I have tried losing weight since 8 as the world doesn’t open to you aside from undesirables. Now at almost 40 it’s still a challenge esp as the desire has yet to be met.

[@sigmavitali333]

This felt like a constructive callout. I've been working through a lot of these negative coping strategies, so the bridge statement is an incredibly helpful way to tackle the abuser voice in my head. Thank you for the helpful information!

[@brendanthebdog]

Growing up in the mountains I never realized how glorious just sitting on the beach and listening to the waves is. Feels pretty good just being a human being and not a human doing.

[@RockieC1]

Wow thanks for explaining! I would have never thought never taking breaks is a form of self harm. We need to be reminded to care and nurture our bodies! Thanks for this video 🙏

[@ellen823ful]

Really, if I sit down to just read a book 📖. I think. 🤔 oh there’s dishes in the sink. My strategy is to set a timer. ⏱️. Allow the sitting and reading. 📖. The dishes will wait 20 minutes.

[@MareliBasson]

One that i've been wondering about a lot is knowingly neglecting our health, so either not getting assistance with or not maintaining our health when we know we should. For instance you know you need to get something checked out that's possibly impacting your day to day functioning but you keep putting it off because the symptoms are minor but manageable or ignorable for the most part. And it would seem like not eating regularly falls under this as well. I've noticed variations of this in people i know and been responsible for doing it to myself on occasion and it can definitely add a lot of strain on interpersonal relationships.

[@Unkn0wn1133]

I do this. I haven’t seen a doctor since 2020. He told me “its just stress” I’m tired of hearing that and scared of doctors anyways. I can tell myself “it’s just stress” in the living room and save the trip.

[@MsWing-ij9nb]

Great video, Kati! Very helpful- wish I knew about invisible self harm in my twenties (two decades ago) when I was skipping meals, exercising a lot, because I was very depressed and isolated. Like others here mentioned, as a female who was told to lose weight as a teen, received praise for the unintended weight loss. The isolation worsened as did the depression until i realized these subcobscious habits were tied to long term unhealthy, toxic family dynamics. It did not occur to me until my mid thirties...when video content on mental health like yours began to grow, and thank goodness for that! Literally saving a lot of lives, and helping ppl like me see the light in what felt like infinite, perpetual darkness. To anyone watching this video, reading thos comment- there is hope. Hang in there, and be kind to yourself ❤

[@shenandoah1322]

I feel like binging is my number one method of self harm. And overspending and isolating.

[@heavymetalhufflepuff]

Sames ❤ you are not alone

[@indridcold8433]

One I can not agree with is building what is referred to as a support net of people. I feel worse around people. I do not need to feel worse. When I used to be social, I was far more miserable than I am now. Within a few days of socially isolating myself, I started feeling better. I do not feel good, but better. I will not be returning to being social. It is painful, unrewarding, makes me very nervous, even gives me stomach cramping and a slight tremble. On top of that, I was still depressed. But after isolating, all that went away, except the depression. Some of us are not programmed to be socially successful. I am one of them. I know this and feel ill when I force myself to be social. Not all humans must be social.

[@bigred4379]

There are extroverts - who get energy from being around others, and there are introverts who get energy from being alone. Many people confuse being outgoing with being an extrovert. Not so. Many people are outgoing introverts. There may also be shy extroverts. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these. You are who you are . It’s your personality type.

[@andreaarias2085]

Thank you Katie for your insight into invisible self harm.

[@hrdknox2000]

I love you, Katie! Thank you so much for your altruism that you share so freely with us ❤ God bless you, Miss!

[@hayleytearall]

I find it really tricky when people call maladaptive coping mechanisms 'self harm'. The DSM definition of non-suicidal self injury (AKA self harm) is actually " the deliberate, self-inflicted destruction of body tissue without suicidal intent and for purposes not socially sanctioned". NSSI is different than the things you've described (although they're valid on their own) and it's different not just because it isn't intentional injury to body tissue, but it also therefore will have different physical components like how NSSI is addictive due to how pain/injury releases beta-endorphins, especially on analgesic sites. I think this video is useful but what you describe isn't actually (the clinical definition of) self harm.

[@hundiges1291]

Thanks, I was thinking just this. If you explain things to people, you should please at least get the facts right. Yes, those are harmful/ maladaptive coping mechanisms but that doesn't mean they're "invisible self-harm".

[@thebuilder5271]

It is self harm, but not NSSI. Though things like overexercising and not eating I would argue should also be considered NSSI as it damages the body and causes pain

[@hayleytearall]

@@thebuilder5271Kati mentions the DSM though and the DSM only has NSSI as self harm.

[@AnnaHasNoMiddleName]

agree

[@phoenixc7245]

Yeah. I tend to forget to eat when I'm not around food or until I get dizzy. It's not like I mean to not eat, but my body doesn't let me know that it's time to eat

[@aimeegoebel7795]

Omg this was an eye opener….. my favorite video you’ve ever done. Very important points. Thank you so much

[@too_tired_for_this]

I would love to hear more about shopping as self harm, and harsh self judgment as self harm. ❤

[@justinabissett9715]

This video was so helpful because I not only felt understood and seen, but it had ways to help with those things too.

[@J.m.Bailey]

The guilt one really touched me. Once I heard it I was like YEP, I didn't realise it before, but I have so much guilt about many diffirent things. Along with either not eating,eating but not enough or overeating, anxiety, depression,history of physical self harm, perfectionism (which I'm currently working on). This video is an eye opener and helped to reflect on how I am actually doing mentally and how I physically treat myself Thank you

[@tubarao672]

This video is so incredibly helpful. Thank you for explaining the signs and providing realistic solutions!

[@TheLicktysplitz]

Oh my god that was one of the best quotes I have ever heard in my life and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. When you said if I was being lazy I would be enjoying myself. I'm putting that in the frame

[@jessetoledo7738]

Sooooo Helpful Kati thanks for making this!

[@ruthanneluvsvacuuming6653]

I’ve been guilty of all of these except over spending in different stages of my life It explains a lot of why I feel how I feel about myself It’s not just the words I hear growing up I’ve caused myself to stay in the negative mindset of myself through my actions Thanks for sharing this information

[@Lonni_K]

The sensation of a small victory (as someone with a restrictive ed) is eating my dinner while watching this

[@005Amergin]

Thank you for this..I hope you are keeping well yourself! 🙏🏼💜🇨🇦🌏 I do tend to isolate more. As an introvert, I spend alot of time on my own. I only have a small circle of people around me. I had to ley go of some folks I knew for a long time, who were not healthy anymore. Also if im really stressed i cant eat, so i make sure im having water/ juice. Just starting therapy so working on making a few incremental changes... Thank you Katie!

[@user-fc2wi9no4h]

Wow, thank you so much for this video... I'm in a deep depression and now I understand that I psychologically harm myself. I feel guilty, lazy and just as a bad person unworthy of my loved ones all the time. Your video really opened my eyes

[@spiritismisfit]

As a recovering self-harmer (I haven't self-harmed in years, but the thought patterns take longer to unlearn) this video shows me what patterns I still need to work on. Which is both very helpful and also very confronting... my demons keep showing up with different masks on 😉 . Thanks Kati, this helps me to see what steps I can take to leave some more of my self-harm behind 💖

[@franlats0705]

Linking with the not eating enough, also binge eating is also a form of self harm

[@oceanluvngal]

I never knew that social isolation could be considered a form of self-harm... I knew I for sure am (or have been) guilty of some of the other forms listed in the video but this was a surprise. A very enlightening video!

[@mikaeladevries1776]

A few months ago, I started doing talk therapy with a mix of somatic work, when I finally just let the PTSD lose in therapy, I lost 10 lbs in 1 week because I wasn't hungry at all. Now in a harder part of therapy, I am struggling with self harm. I didn't even think about this though. I always played it off as my seizure meds are making my stomach upset or I'll eat later when I'm done. The last one is something I've always done. Work is my favorite place and they have to force me onto break.

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton. thank you so much for sharing this new video on 8 unexpected ways we self harm this is very interesting and very important plus helpful i can so bady and sadly relate to this 1. Not eating properly 2.guiltting myself 3.isolation 4.overspending 5.staying and engaging in a unhealthy relationship These are all relatable to me 😢 Love your mental health videos kati ❤❤❤

[@rachaelharper3778]

Bridge statements help me a lot thank you kati❤ when I’m going through a really bad time watching your videos help me ground myself and I feel better after watching. you make me and many others feel validated and heard 😅we love you kati 😘

[@lisawardle4297]

I’ve always thought of CBT as a process that will never work for me. To me it has always seemed like being told to gaslight myself…like, that shit thing is not shit, when it actually is shit - like being forced to put on the rose coloured glasses and pretend things are okay. I am a cynic and a pessimist. After watching this video, I am now feeling that bridge statements (something I’d never heard of before) may be helpful for me. Thanks Kati.

[@prettyinpink2102]

Thank you for making this video Kati

[@user-sy9xb4gc7u]

Thanks Kati , Great information for understanding others and ourselves

[@Wendyj55]

This is fantastic. And so well delivered. Thanks.

[@spacezeroin]

So much useful channel.I am so excited. I really got the most valuable opportunity to learn, the reason why I love this event as life❤

[@isabellabihy8631]

I had a colleague (I'm retired now) used to tell me this: Do not aspire for 120% and get mad at yourself for not reaching 150%, aim at 80% and be happy to reach 100%.

[@Katimorton]

I love that!! xoxo

[@2a2777f2g]

I started eating and on my way to sleep more. I am grateful to my friends that helped me to start taking care of myself. Now that you said it, I see that it actually was self harming.

[@WisconsinWanderer]

Wow lots of things to bring up to my therapist about thank you Katie 😊

[@Katimorton]

Of course! So glad it was helpful :) xoxo

[@joannesuzieburlison7128]

I believe my mental health issues caused my chronic pain condition (fibromyalgia and POTS) which has led me to isolate myself and sleep all day, often til the later afternoon which only makes me feel worse.

[@incrediblecruiseoflife7548]

such value!!! thank you Kati

[@aprilcorbeil4688]

4 out of the 8 have been part of my life that I'm aware of, for the last 18 years. Something else to bring up and work on in therapy

[@aussieness]

This information is really helpful, especially for me right now. Thank you💜 👋 from Australia 🇦🇺🐨

[@angieh612]

Hi Katie! Could you talk more about #6, overspending? This was a great video, as always!

[@celestemerryman3905]

Great well-done video. Thank you.

[@sarahpaty6108]

I think we live in a culture that rewards self harming behavior.

[@lisasilverthorne3588]

I seem to be jumping types of self harm. Currently I'm not showering. Gives me a reason to stay home.

[@BenedettaBerto]

I would like to see a video on overspending as a way to self-harm, I have so many problems connected with this!

[@milomazli]

Such an amazing video!! Thank you!!

[@Aya4o4]

I really like in nonviolent communication "feelings" are defined differently than how we typically express in our culture. For example, "inadequate" is a judgement/label more than it is a bodily sensation. The feeling behind the judgement might be ashamed, embarrassed, lonely, sad, hurt... But it's like if we say we feel betrayed, it's more about the action or motive of someone else than the hurt. If you tell someone "I feel hurt vs I feel betrayed" you can guess what they will say back: I'm sorry or I didn't *betray* you 💌💌💌💌

[@cjuliec10]

Had to relay video to take notes for myself like I'm in class. Thanks for this video. I do many of these😢

[@charstrong9822]

I would love, love to see a whole episode on overspending. I really have my life together. In 2023, I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I got an amazing therapist and ketamine infusions. I feel the best I have my whole life except for overspending overspending. I don't spend money on stuff: it is experiences like concerts, trips, and movies How can I hemp that? I really enjoyed this video!❤❤❤

[@Xaxtarr_Neonraven]

Yes, these ways to self-harm are often overlooked and attributed to disorders when they may be expressions of a wish. We all have aspects of this, the trick is to recognize, acknowledge and to seek healthy expressions. Sleep deprivation, drama, stress and self pressure are my constant companions. Great video. 👍

[@RobRaptor49]

Hey, you deserve to grow and enjoy good things in life, too. I found a therapist that was able to help, and anorexia doesn't control my life anymore.

[@ChantyFierce]

I would love a video about overspending and how to work on it. As someone with BPD this is one of my biggest unhealthy cycles. I overspend, then feel guilty for putting myself in more debt, then spend again to make myself feel better.

[@TheGioKill500]

Thank you, Kati.

[@deirdreegan420]

Thank you so much, I am in therapy, I just realised I thought I was doing better than I was, obviously not after listening to your vedio🤔 atleast now I can addresses some issue, so thank you so much...I love your vedios,❤

[@shirleyzgheib8479]

Actually when im alone im so happy overjoyed really i can do tons and tons of stuff alone and won’t be bothered one bit like researching one topic and its details for hours! its the socializing that drains me and makes me panic and anxious takes away all my energy and makes me extremely exhausted but isolating brings back my happy calm self tbh its more helping me than harming me in fact 😭

[@christophvolar3481]

top notch video! thankyou!!

[@BrightestBlessings7899]

I am eating my feelings. It leaves me feeling disgusted in myself but even that is a welcome distraction from the abusive crap I am usually focusing on.

[@fridaalbinsson4211]

Thanks for the video!

[@MayasDream]

You are a gift to all of us! 🎁 Stay Strong; You’ve got this!’n

[@Katimorton]

Aww thanks!! xxo

[@JamaicaZ160R1793010A]

It's been said so many want to hurt themselves and it showed.

[@Tilnaor]

1, 3, 4, 5, 7. And sleep deprivation, biting my arm when in deep low, and biting nails till hurt... "scared to get close but hate being alone, long for the feeling to not feel at all"

[@DNTCreativeMedia]

Love your videos. Great advice and tips.

[@Katimorton]

Thanks so much! Appreciate the kind words :)

[@spacezeroin]

Yes, I would love to see more about overspending.

[@hadestheblackcat420]

love you Kati 💓

[@louisephilbey6019]

Thank you. This information is very validating, and especially needed as I try to get better from the flu.

[@Katimorton]

Glad it was helpful! Get well soon!

[@kimsherlock8969]

Dopamine spending is real. A customer whom spends is treated with respect and acknowledged . Loneliness issues contribute to spending I understand the need to escape from the tension, I searched second hand shops when I was a student in Australia Searching for wearable clothing became a dopamine hit. Took my attention away from the pain of anxiety

[@user-gn3ps7df5s]

A lot of good quotes in this video!!

[@PokemonGoViolette]

1. Not prioritizing eating: I do this. Thank you for reminding me to eat. I don’t prioritize and end up binging on sweet cereals and chocolate. 2. Not taking breaks/overworking yourself: I actually do the opposite of this. I am very unproductive in life and need an extra push to get things done (I do have adhd as well though). 3. Guilting ourselves: I do this to myself because I am constantly being told how terrible and worthless I am for not being able to do something. 4. Perfectionism: I do this with some things, or well… most if I’m able to finish. I end up taking too long because if my perfectionism. I am, once again, called lazy, worthless, dumb, slow, and etc. 5. Staying in unhealthy relationships: Considering my answers for the above, this one pretty much speaks for itself. Am called every name in the book even though I don’t argue back and I also get told it’s my fault I’m being treated the way I am. Things get get pretty heated at times… like, bad bad. 6. Overspending: I am super broke cause I am a stay at home mon right now and my partner does all the work. I had him take all of it out because I know I’ll end up overspending. 7. Isolation: I’m introverted, but I think it’s more because I was harassed, bullied and ect. Even my family bullied me, so I would rather be a homebody and not visit. 8. Over-exercise: I tend to do the opposite of this. I become very unmotivated to do anything all. Ps. I have bipolar 1 disorder, adhd, ptsd, borderline personality disorder, and social anxiety. It all adds up and I guess all of my behaviors are self harming.

[@user-dj7hg4yt5v]

Thank you!

[@VegardFlekstad]

Super helpful... Thanks!

[@crystalmaltby3202]

Wow this is an unbelievably helpful video!

[@constantfrenzy]

God I related to this so much. Thank you for these videos!

[@Katimorton]

Of course! So glad it was helpful :) xoxo