6 Rules for Relationships

Every Narcissistic Relationship has all the red flags one would wish to find.
What about the Green Flags? What about the Signs a Relationship is actually good?
Watch the video to find 6 RULES for a healthy relationship
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
🔴 New Course: Narcissistic Cults Decoded
www.richardgrannon.com/narcis...
🔴 Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at www.spartanlifecoach.com
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
www.RichardGrannon.com
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
📖 Purchase "A Cult of One":
www.amazon.com/Cult-One-Depro...
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Timestamps:
00:00 | Intro
01:16 | Rule 1: Your partner is separate from you.
03:56 | Rule 2: No means no.
09:13 | Rule 3: Own your own stuff. You're not perfect.
12:14 | Rule 4: Equal means equal (but not recommended for romance, being fair is better)
13:36 | Rule 5: Let them be their own Person (Growth & Change)
16:44 | Rule 6: Speak up, Negative Feedback is OK
24:43 | Q&A Session
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
🔴 Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at:
www.spartanlifecoach.com/
📖 Purchase "A Cult of One":
www.amazon.com/Cult-One-Depro...
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Follow Richard Grannon:
🔔 SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE:
/ richardgran. .
✚ TIKTOK:
/ richardgrannon0
✚ INSTA:
/ richard.gra. .
✚ FACEBOOK:
/ richard.gran. .
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#relationship #Abuse #RichardGrannon

[@jaywalks9918]

1. Your partner is separate from you. 2. No means no. 3. Own your own stuff. You're not perfect. 4. Equal means equal (but not recommended for romance, being fair is better) 5. Let people be people. 6. Negative feedback is okay. Speak up.

[@prismonthethehorizon5793]

Nice one for typing it out Jay 👍 Thanks xx

[@rosieclarke4073]

Appreciate it

[@Specialkfree]

I would ADD: ensure both partners are sober! You can’t have a healthy relationship when one or both are using substances.

[@rosieclarke4073]

@@Specialkfree absolutely 💯

[@ronelavassal6616]

I don't worry much about nasty horrible person, anymore, music is all I need or Netflix on if not Utub chanel. all good for me, brilliant.

[@pickle9753]

“Abandon all hope, hope prolongs suffering”

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

If you look at social media, how may 'couples' photos do you see where one partner is beaming from ear to ear with a firm grasp on their partner's arm, and the other partner has a pasted on smile and that deer in the headlights look. Most people probably don't notice that, but I do. And I'm gonna put a pin in that observation and see if it isn't some strong indicator for the future of that relationship.

[@barnsleysniper]

I looked back on every single family photo and the only one who looks happy is her Even the kids look unhappy

[@zoeh1964]

A lot of us have learned these lessons late but better late than never. A lot of people sleepwalk through life and die a bitter, resentful victim

[@dawnross2514]

Can testify that resentment kills love & relationship. My ex knows that now, he ignored my clearly expressed wishes one time too many & it's goodbye to 20+ years. Everyone has their limit & I reached mine.

[@personne3837]

Same here, after 9 years i couldn't stay anymore with him. So much resentment toward him, I gave him a second chance but it was too late, all the resentment has killed my love for him.

[@randomactsofhugs]

9 1/2 was my limit it was very difficult. Getting better finding myself. Funny ive been here waiting for me to be me. Here i am

[@randomactsofhugs]

Ive been greiving for the last 5 years of the relationship hoping. I know that hope is dead . It will ok now I will be allright i can forgive myself for the crap fit i tried to make work but gave up finnally . I learned alot from him and pray he can find himself but he thinks hes the victim and will allways blame everbody for all things. I am sorry i hurt us both. Airhugs of positive loving energy to any one that needs one. Truly to bad i wont hug him any more sont want to be touched by him ever again.

[@Hawaiiansky11]

My beloved Gary impressed me with so many things, but there was one thing he did NOT do that really impressed me: he never, not once, pathologized emotions. So many people and men in particular, say nasty things to women when we express emotions. I have a soft heart and cry often. I was told by someone else that I was just using tears to manipulate him. Gary told me, "Crying just means you have a good heart." When I got mad, Gary didn't call me emotional or moody, accuse me of "being on the rag" or having PMS. He apologized, tried to correct it, or *argued back* because he, too, had a valid point! When I was confused, he explained things. He never tried to make me feel dumb or ignorant for not knowing everything he knew. Gary did NOT call me names or make it seem like there was something wrong with me for expressing emotions. I made it safe for him, too, to be strong, angry, upset, scared and sad. He cried in front of me more than once, and I empathized with and comforted him. Not once did I find him less masculine for expressing himself honestly. Men and women are given the exact same range of emotions. Nobody should believe that one sex is not allowed to access the same emotions as the other.

[@LilDevs]

Ah, this post. 😊

[@LilDevs]

This is beautiful to read. You were very lucky to have experienced this kind of joy and love, both of you. This is what most strive for in a relationship, I believe. When I find this, I will let you know! 👀 I also cry all the time. Can’t help it, it just pours out of me. He sounds like an amazing soul. ❤️

[@juliehorsley48]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It warms my heart.

[@chrismullin8304]

I look forward to meeting Gary, when my time comes. I am also positive, he looks forward to seeing you again! -Only Love Remains

[@johannagrace7768]

Your post brought tears to my eyes. If I had the ability to express as clearly and beautifully as you, I would say the same about my Peter. Love- Real Love- is a precious treasure worth working and fighting for.

[@ingridelknermusic]

I was surprised by how shocked I felt to hear you say that negative criticism shouldn't end up in a fight. I feel like I've known few people who don't take an ego wounding and turn it into a miniature war. Either they turn it inwards and punish themselves, or turn it outwards and punish me. It's odd to me that there are people out there who voice issues without a battle commencing.

[@juliekong5013]

Yes, also my experience.

[@marlajacques6947]

Same and it causes me to gradually slip into an almost avoidant type behaviour which doesn’t feel right

[@staystrong9030]

I want to thank you a lot for your videos. I binge watched them at the end of 2018 and then I planned my escape literally with the strength your videos gave me then and now I am more then happy to tell you I planned everything and moved out and moved in somewhere else with my child and I was as strong as I could possibly be. My narc ex was really annoying and stalking and so on but I kept beeing consistent, calling police, not responding and after about 5-6 months I had my freedom and my peace. Its now almost 5 years ago that happened and I finally found your channel again. Thank you so much!!! I am sure you helped a lot please keep uo your work. Greetings from Austria

[@Sandra-mq1nb]

What a gorgeous encouragement for all humans around the world🙏 Yes Richard, you're doing an awesome job - thank youuuuu♥ Be all blessed & greetings from Switzerland🌟

[@CroisMoi]

That is an inspiring story. I'm so glad you got away. Yes, Richard is helping a lot of people by making these videos. Even as he is attacked by others.

[@bbdn5123]

Seems like 2018 has been life changing for more people. I too left, went NC in 2018. Just now stepping out of the shadows. Grateful that I got new perspectives and clarity. The kind people from youtube gained me so much knowledge. It's still heavy. Funny, the last couple of months I slowly started coming back. Perception got clouded... At last starting this new year, it's gonna be even more life altering in my own new house and starting trauma therapy. Giving myself permission and time to figure stuff out ánd with help is something foreign to me. Take care ☝🏽🌌💖💫

[@kokoskokso]

Hi from Vienna!

[@personne3837]

Same here, 2018 was the year i decided to save my life. I left him with only 300e in my pocket, no roof above my head, no job nothing but God. It's been excruciating but thank God, now I have my own apartment, my job, I've been healing my childhood traumas, I've been taking care of myself, traveling. I'm ready to meet someone, I smell red flags from miles, i close my door anytime something/someone is off, i think I'm prepared but as long as i haven't try again i couldn't be sure about it.

[@aNnAkt1qw]

No judgement, no expection, no control. Being the best version of yourself, authentic, respectful... navigate, communicate and compromise.

[@Little.R]

My last relationship ended because I said "I cannot be your therapist anymore." It's really sad because I still love them very much.

[@colettemitchell3412]

I've never had a healthy relationship either. I don't really understand what one is. I do have good friends that I trust. That is a wonderful thing. Honesty is so important if you do find someone and if you want to find someone I feel you will have a good relationship. Thank you Richard. This was a very valuable discussion.

[@staywellandstrong4199]

Best lines of the day, so far: role playing.. "Pretend you are my abusive ex-boyfriend." ("Well, if that's what you really want...")

[@Meowch3]

This moved me... It changed me as a person. I'm sending this video to all my friends. Seriously though, from my experience this is very on-point. I think most of the 6 points come down to control. People forget that everyone has a basic need for autonomy. We hate being controlled, and we must respect that fact if we're to make a relationship work. The sacrifices you make have to be done out of your own desire to do them. The moment you feel coerced into doing them is the moment problems emerge. My own story -- I've been married for 5 years, but was quite unhappy for the first two. I wanted more spontaneous physical affection, and he just could not give it to me. On the other hand, he nitpicked my cleaning habits. In particular, he wanted me to keep the sink clear of dirty dishes at all times. We fought about these silly things again and again, but of course underneath those problems were the real pain points: "I don't want you to control me." + "Am I not good enough for you as I am now?" + "I feel unloved when you don't do what I ask." When I'd ask him for a hug or a kiss, I'd secretly feel resentment. I had told him a million times that I wanted these hugs and kisses out of the blue and that they would make me so happy. I thought that he must not really care for me if he knew that and still didn't do it. He said that it just didn't enter into his mind to do it. He would become more affectionate at first but gradually forget again. I felt unloved, but I was no better. If I really loved him, then why didn't I do the damn dishes for him? There in fact was no profound reason. I simply hated doing them. It was as simple as that, because my love for him had NOTHING to do with doing the dishes, even if I knew it would make him happy. Logically they were connected -- I love him, X makes him happy, then I should want to do X as much as possible. But that ignores my own feelings about X, which in reality take center stage. And that's when it all clicked and my resentment vanished. His lack of physical affection wasn't about me. I understood, REALLY understood, not just intellectually, but as a feeling in my body, that he wasn't a physically affectionate person. It's not who he is. Me asking him for a hug or a kiss isn't silly -- it's how I help him help me. Or I throw myself onto him and give him a bear hug. He loves it, I love it. We're both happy. As for the dishes, I told him that I wasn't trying to spite him. I just really hated doing them and trying to keep the sink always looking perfect stressed me out. The magic words: "I'm sorry, I've tried and I've failed over and over again. If it really bothers you that much, just do it yourself please." And that's really all there was to it. I think all 6 points were encapsulated here - recognizing that we're separate, no means no, owning your stuff, being equal/fair, letting people be who they are, and speaking up.

[@juliekong5013]

This was a really good description, and helpful. There's a humility here, and self-awareness/maturity - taking personal responsibility to solve the issues in the relationship dynamic. Relationships take work, as Richard says. Also, there's a willingness to hear and honor the other person's perspective, which of course is the opposite of control I'm just further processing all these things, trying to pinpoint some of the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

[@johannagrace7768]

I just feel the need to make this point…a healthy relationship is not healthy 100% of the time. You WILL go through periods of time when your relationship is not great, and sometimes it can be downright dysfunctional. But the trajectory, if you get it right, is towards healing for both partners. The love of my life can be angry, possessive, rigid and messy. I can be controlling, arrogant, unforgiving and inconsistent. The challenge of overcoming our significant traumas while caring for each other and our son can sometimes be overwhelming. But we persevere. And we win. I love the rules Richard.

[@vital.elements]

"I clearly know what I'm doing. Look at my notes." 📝😄💯

[@sweetgrasshopper]

"Grief is a strength" Oh My!!!! I did the 30 day challenge in July, but I'm so grateful for this reminder 🥴😌🥰

[@Hguychildandyouth]

I pray for you Richard. I'm thankful for your work. It helped me at the right time. I had to see myself first, accept the truth about me, and see the dance for what it was. I did die to self...thats a story for sure. It really struck me when your video with Sam came out about what process we must go through to truly be free. I went through this process. I've been single purposely since figuring out what was going on. Focused on my education after raising children and still raising a 14 year old, and graduating in four months. I know for a fact, I'll never be in an unhealthy relationship again. I am a different person, not lonely, and patient. I know I'll take my time this time...and I have no interest in going about things the way I did before. Best wishes to everyone!

[@loribehr5967]

Hi Richard. You have come to my attention recently during my search for understanding the narcissistic that I was part of for decades. I find you humble and helpful as well as honest. Thank you.

[@sesiliaka]

All these ‘negative’ experiences, or I’d rather call them ‘learning curves’, I can very much relate. Nodding my head as I watch this video 😅. As always Richard, thx for the insights 👊🏽

[@marietjejansen]

Not to boost your ego, but maybe some comfort. With every relationship-loss and grief, there seems to be a lesson learned. You teach by sharing your own errors, and that to me is really trustworthy. The wisdom you share whilst being vulnerable and hurt strikes a chord.

[@Nimue1974]

You are right but it's just so much less stressful being single. Sometimes it's lonely but it's peaceful. I like peace. I'm too comfortable on my own now. Sad but true. Nobody fancies me anymore anyway 😂🤷

[@carlabruni5223]

As for "who am I to talk about..." - there is this saying, teach what you want to learn 😀 - thank you Richard!!

[@juliehorsley48]

Thank you Richard. I love your reflections and suggestions. We self-betray when we "fall for" for the potential rather than the person. I've been contemplating relationship alot. Particularly whether my journey is to live in relationship or in community. I feel a lot of peace when in my hermithood and yet have learned so much about myself in relationships. I am more and more moved to see relationship as crucible, charnel ground and as covenant. Something more than a contract or a sequence of transactions. In the West we have disavowed all kinds of the sacred for too long, in my view. In my experience, where there has been a sacred covenant, a shared vision and a dedication to a higher purpose with clear, healthy boundaries and expectations, the relationship has been a soul forging and a personally evolutionary experience.

[@girumzemichael704]

Wonderfully and aptly said!

[@solmyr42]

@22:37 When people deny they are hurt etc. but they don't leave, often they will come around eventually. There's no need to actually leave them then and there. Patience can be a virtue here...

[@heathermauzey7760]

Thank you for your absolute honesty about your own humanity.

[@meridians_]

Ram Dass said "compassion stated simply is leaving other people alone." This has become a mantra to me since recovering from cPTSD. It's so hard to do - but seeing how this culture (especially The Discourse) does nothing but break boundaries and get over-involved in judging other people's behaviours & lives, it is easier to see how & why I should learn to butt out and let people be. Blessings, Richie.

[@krisrobinson5919]

Point 4 "dont worry about equal...worry about fair" Love this reframe Rich...🌻 I remember this from the last challenge...🙏 It's a great reminder for me...👍 I believe I had & gave out at least 4 of the 6 for 21 years, so I'm safe in saying the last 3 are super important...👍 Really great tips... Thank you... Yup, you did good!...😊👌

[@SereneHorror]

@krisrobinson cool name!☺🙃

[@krisrobinson5919]

@Kasey Robinson Hey Robbo how you doing, sista!...🤗 Of course, we share the name... we are fast friends now...👊🌻

[@crystalnorthhealing]

One last one. Richard, I love your complete honesty in that you've never been in a healthy relationship. Nor have I, even though that's what I strive for. I'd hope you wouldn't be so hard on yourself with that one and feeling like you're not qualified. Who is, really? And it's not your fault you haven't found someone to be in a healthy relationship yet, and just the same for any of us including me. We've been doing our best. Right? We can't make another person understand all we know and conform, of course, even though that would be great! hahaha! No. I think we just haven't found the right person yet who is willing to do the same, but it can happen. However many of us are out there. Can't be giving up hope and all that shit, or feeling like we're not qualified to know what a good one might look like. I think you did stupendous! And you can take that to the bank, my dear. A very Happy New Year from the great white north to you and all!!!

[@michelea1010]

I think you have very valid advise here. The more distance we have from unhealthy relationships the more likely we can see what we simply couldn’t while in the muck. Thank you. Piece of advise always…….gratitude…..recognize, appreciate, cherish, even celebrate quietly

[@Adam-wn3qu]

Hi Richard. Just wanted to say big thanks in public for the work you do. It helped me a lot to survive a terrible split up with my psychopath narc (she) and all the terrible things happened over the last 5 yearss of my life and a terrible split up process. I’m Know much better boundried, beliving in myself, beliving in my observations and listening to my inner voice and feelings. I was such an orthodox codependent empath scared all the Time. 50 years old men finally living his best Time in life ! Cheers!

[@brittanyholtgreven4106]

Before I even watch this video there is loads I could say on this topic after finally being in a real, healthy relationship for the past ten years. However, one quote speaks VOLUMES on this topic. "We accept the love we think we deserve."

[@johannagrace7768]

Rule #2 is GREAT! The last (and final) relationship I had with a person who displayed some narcissistic traits (a friend) ended when I said, “No”. She asked for something from me that she sincerely believed was a reasonable request, but I was neither willing nor able to agree. She was asking more from me than I was willing to give. So she ended the friendship. I was so relieved…so many of my friendships with other women have been about them using me to process their negative emotions. No more. If you are a woman who does this- it is not healthy and there is a cost to the other person. Learn how to process your own stuff and regulate your own emotions and your relationships will be richer and more satisfying.

[@l.c838]

No one owns each other, we are all individuals.

[@SheenaRea]

Richard you're so well qualified to be in a happy, healthy relationship, that I hope this year will bring you such a blessing. Happy New Year and thanks for everything!! 🙂🏵☘🦋🏡🎄🌠

[@fightswithspirits915]

I saw so much sadness in this video.

[@donnalange8767]

I believe its how negative feedback is given. Alot is in the context of ahaming or blaming, or accusation.

[@victoriablackwell97]

Always a genuine mature lesson being given from a wonderful teacher!

[@youaresoulessence]

"THE" cult of one... Individuality.. Respect of shared inspiration. Appreciation of coregulation and assisting a common cause... Not dismissing intuitive moments of one in the circle that triggers you. Respect peoples intellectual property. Acknowledge their support of your mission and be grateful for progressive information shared out of progress alone, not for self perpetuity. And vice versa😉

[@inpersonaDK]

Trust and mutual respect is everything in any relationship personal, business and between countries.

[@isadellagrana]

Thank you Richard to give us the best of yourself and of your life experiences. Your work allows us to definitely see and choose the path that leads to the best version of ourselves. Don't be embarrassed when overwhelmed with our praise and gratitude : you simply deserve it. I wish you a very happy new year ! 🌟🌟🙋‍♀️

[@bethankrzowski4553]

"Whatever you're gaining in a lie, you're gonna lose so much more"...yes great truth there.

[@bthe1doright462]

You are very astute. Conveying both authenticity and clarity. You have been helpful to me - and I am not flattering you. I am an actual empath who also has never been in a healthy creative loving relationship. It been a series of giving my heart and ( offering my liver ) to selfish, wounded, stupid people and having to learn about the lack of healthy relationship the hardest way. And yes we can include latter on in life a brutal dance with a controlling - objectifying - vampire/narcissist w- psychotic episodes. I am currently extricating from the reunion with my twin sister who has never been there for me and invited me to live next door to her - - I moved here to give it a go. It's been hard and not productive and is inching now toward exploding narcissistic abuse as I do not any longer capitulate and take care of everyone - - so this is to be my last chapter I believe in stepping into uneven power dynamics in significant relationships ! And by the way = I also qualify for excellent relationship advice because I see and feel everything. And I have learned very hard lessons - just don't have the heart for relationship myself now.

[@LilDevs]

One thing I know is that you can’t get healthy in the environment that made you unhealthy or in an environment that continually triggers past traumas. The only thing that is close to helping me find my joy and peace of mind is a trusted experienced psychotherapist to help me work through why I am a scapegoat and why I am attracted to the narcissist. We make our own choices, these relationships are two-way and we need to take responsibility for our own actions and choices.

[@adora721lux8]

The idea of equality vs fairness seems to be similar to equality vs equity. Equity, IMO, is better because equity considers differences, such as in resources, even emotional ones, ability, and opportunities. Thanks for the excellent video!

[@sunnydaye5942]

Great job Richard. I figured if anyone reminds me of any Narcs in my past that's when I walk away. I am getting much better dodging them, thanks to You. 😃

[@wonder7798]

I believe we have to be healed before understanding what the ingredients are for a healthy relationship. For me, this is my list... *Be able to communicate back and forth without fear, and with mutual respect *Be able to share interests, hobbies, emotions, goals *Know your attachment style and theirs *Share in the effort, responsibilities *Not one-sided *Validating eachothers hurts and concerns with respect and compassion *Willingness to resolve issues w/put critical and put downs

[@wonder7798]

I agree with you, of course I was not healed and I attempted to "deal" with my partner in healthy manner. I tried to understand. The conclusion I came to was that if one is not healed, we get manipulated, betrayed, lied to and cheated on. When we heal our past wounds, come aware of our true identity, acceptance of self then we have established healthy boundaries, and because we respect and value ourselves we do not take anything less from others.

[@arthurcurry7688]

A relationship takes BIG Sacrifice! Both partners would need to be able to make sacrifices within it, in order to make it work!

[@naz0079]

Life has taught me some huge lessons especially when it comes to relationships as I'm seeing a lot of marriages fail in the process, either the partners are not meant for each other, struggling financially, disagreements, lack of resonance etc. One of the main lessons I've learnt is that for a healthy and strong relationship requires a solid foundation through a 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 connection first with the principles and key elements of commitment, trustworthiness, communication and being openly honest. But, we need that relationship with ourselves first by becoming more conscious of our unconscious behavior patterns and thoughts from our childhood traumas. The key is balance. There will be bumps, there will be challenges, there will be hurdles...all opportunities to grow together.

[@MakeAnnaGreatAgain]

I can only hope that the long trail of bad relationships behind me do eventually qualify me to be in a good one. May the odds be in our favor.

[@melissasue3328]

Very refreshing to hear such a raw, honest and vulnerable answer to this person's question. Great starting points to work with.

[@gloria6396]

THANK YOU I NEVER REALIZED HOW CONTROLLING I AM

[@Devachandra9]

Thank you, Richard, for your insistence that to ever force one's will on another is one of the worst inhumane behaviors.

[@Audrey-cn2uw]

OMG.. I've been married for 25 years. Left the marriage several times. Finally left last June. I am a retired RN. Always thought my husband would "Come around." You have opened my eyes to what my past 25 years actually was. I was a complete Narc Supplier. I willingly gave my narcissist everything, even my relationship with my children. You saved my life. Divorcing is NOT easy. He says everything we own is his. After realizing what a dynamic i was involved in, I can never go back. THANKS 😊.

[@roots3409]

Really amazing points. Good shit! Get em’ written down. JP style! . It’ll be a lucky woman that gets to feel the real you. I would also say I’m a recovering people pleaser and honestly I’ve secretly diagnosed (labelled) my partner of 10 years (over the span of our relationship) with everything from schizophrenia to autism 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️ (including all the cluster b personalities), until I realised it was all a projection from me! Haha: my unconscious shadow; that thought I was an angel and everyone else was a demon 🤦🏽‍♀️ What’s so funny is that once I took responsibility of my own energy/aura….all the toxicity/projections/masks/resentment/labels disappeared. And perceptions of the behaviour, And God what a lesson, what a ride: once we move the lens inwards as opposed to outwards…..boundaries appear and the trust/love grows in such authentic ways. You have spoken so much truth that has awoken me over the years of listening to really important shit. I’d love to interview you, if you do that type of thing. I have a small channel and it would be effin awesome to have a chat to share. Regardless, goodbye 2022!! Thanks for sharing 🙆🏻‍♀️🙌🏻

[@arthurcurry7688]

You are a wonderful person! Narcissistic. You have given me some wonderful advice! Thank You! For all that you do on your channel. You have changed my life for the better! 100% I 'am grateful to you. I just pray that I can heal.. Grateful for U. I' am sure that you "loved her" in YOUR OWN WAY! We are all unique individuals. Keep going! Keep searching for her!

[@patriciaventura1282]

Good night Mr.Grannon.After divorcing an abusive person,moved into nature and realized many forms of inner abuse as a women. In Portugal the culture of being a women had very much influence.For me solitude,painting and japanese culture made an interesting journey.Wishing you a soft new year.Grateful,Patricia.

[@OG-CatLady]

Thank you for this! Gave me a lot to think about. As most of my relationships have been very unhealthy... I have taken the last year and a half healing and in therapy so that I don't bring as much baggage into the next. Recovering anxious attachment and saver of narcs 🤦🏼‍♀️. This was very thought provoking!

[@carolfrancey3647]

Kindred spirit you are, Richard! Happy 2023!!

[@whispertruth1048]

I laughed out loud every time you said you are not the person to be giving advice on how to have a good relationship. I always say that too. I failed to keep my boundaries in everyone of my relationships for whatever the reason, but now I see how my failure to keep my boundaries did absolutely no good for them and probably hurt them (a couple it absolutely did). So now, I have to give them to God who actually is the only one who can save them. I never could, I can't now, and I will not be able to in the future. I can only keep my boundaries and from doing so, reveal to others the peace that passes understanding and the joy of the Lord which gives me strength.

[@otiliahugelschaffer1028]

I am 52 and I just found out how a good relationship should be! Thank you Richard!

[@kokoskokso]

A brilliant way to start the new year listening to this! Thank you Richard, I've always found you very knowledgeable and humble at the same time. Also funny, down-to-earth and attractive. Blessings to us all here so we may find divine love - starting with the one for God and ourselves.

[@arlayaswan8320]

Thank you for holding this space for exploring path to healing and creating health within ourselves and relationship.

[@sabrinarodriguez42]

🙌🙌🙌Thank you for taking the time to express and discuss on this topic.

[@hellefreude5086]

Absolutely! That was great and relatable advice! I was nodding my head basically all the way through! Thankyou 💛 for this!

[@KeenanGlass]

Yeah you did fine. I needed to hear this today, so much appreciation for all you've done.

[@DMkz111]

I love the fact that you are authentic and honest

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

One of your best! Love the advice on good relationship and detachment as forgiveness or letting go. Being "on trial for life" makes it hard to let go but detachment I can do.

[@dittemller9611]

Hi Richard😊 I've followed you since 2014.. I do believe it back then brought me out of a situation that would have killed me, and certainly have caused damage to my kids.. it was in the early narc days, turned out he was not a narc, however had an genetic problem that left him without any emotional emphathy.. the one that followed was more of a classic narc.. but the abuse was substantial in both.. I finally had to acknowledge the role of the codependent, which I was, as any good echo with a massive saviour complex, not inclined to do.. your honest words hit home on this one too.. i feel like I've been on a similar journey through landmines, ups and downs, conspiracies and back, you have been a massive part of my journey, and you've given me insight into myself and others. You also gave me the word hypersexuality which finally allowed me to understand otherwise erratic and frustrating behavioural patterns, and forgive myself.. the past 2 years I finally was ready to do some shadow work, to be honest about what my own motives, which I of course assumed was kindness.. it was hard, but freeing.. it have eye-opening and I feel better equipped than ever to enter a relationship, to live a life, and I really am grateful ❤️ I'm still on a journey through life, but I do feel I've come far, so far that now I only watch your videos out of a deep seeded interest in psychology 😊 Thank you Richard, for sharing all this😊

[@crystalnorthhealing]

Just listening to your video again, because it's great stuff that I agree with all the way around. The scapegoat thing. I think the way I interpreted and explained that all these years was that I'm not anyone's emotional punching bag, nor should I be. Nor should any of us be, ever. Well, you've touched on so many great and amazing points in this one, I can barely keep up. Often, over the years, I've thought I should do exactly what you're doing, but then I don't see myself doing it in the way you are. I've been doing it in my own way on another level, and that's ok too. I'm still helping people however much, which I believe is what you're wanting to do, while you're also helping yourself and trying to sort it out, just as I'm doing as well, and it's all good. To each their own, and to us, the lovers of love and truth, we just do what we do, whatever it looks like, to help however many on the level we're on. Best to have many workers on all levels at all times. No, I don't reach near as many as you do, but I reach as many as I do, according to God's will. I'm actually in natural medicine. That's my main gig. This side of things is secondary to that, although I find it very useful for however many clients of mine, not to mention myself too. But still, this subject is very important, in my opinion. We can't deny the relationship side of things and what goes on there. I know that because I've experienced it myself as well. But like everything I do, because I've experienced it, I then realize how important it is and that helps me help others. Just as you've discovered and why you're doing what you're doing now and so passionate about, Richard. And I love that! It totally resonates with me. I will have to say though, that my ex's name was Richard too. No, I don't hold that against you in any way, because why would I? But, thinking about that name reminds me of a day way back when my kids were young and our middle daughter came up to him and said, I know what your name means! She looked and sounded so very confident! And he asked what it meant, and I know what she meant to say. She meant to say Harsh King. But what came out of her was, Selfish Rat! And I was just like, OMG!!! She hit the nail on the head with that one!!! Bahahahaha!!! Yeah, I died laughing! And so did she. LOL But the thing was, he was a total grandiose narcissist. So, yeah, she did hit the nail on the head. Not making fun of you and your name and such. This over here is and was a totally different story in that regard. But yeah, hearing that come out of her, I was just feeling all like, Out of the mouths of babes! I'm sure you can appreciate that, as I'm sure many others can too. But yeah, the scapegoat. I think I'm rather done with being that for anyone, as I hope you are too and everyone else out there. Why and how did any of us ever decide to sign up for that anyway?

[@con-can571]

I love this. What you said about "equal" is bang on. We each have a roll to play and those are different. Happy 2023.

[@Dayle2012]

Agree with all points. Been thru too much in my life to not expect less. Fair is always the goal. Be yourself, love yourself hopefully you find the same in someone else. Change is inevitable in anything. Have boundaries. Happy New Year Richard! Thank you from SW Florida. 💗

[@jaxotherworld]

Big hugs to you Rich. I hope 2023 brings you peace and authentic emotional connection in your personal life.

[@Grace.AlwaysGrace.]

Another well produced and grounding post. Well done. I would one day love to see you in a healthy, loving and growing relationship. Well done. Well done.

[@skyinverted]

Perfect list, Richard. Thank you so very much for this. 🙏

[@CroisMoi]

Treat others how you would want to be treated. Be kind. The people I know who have been married 20-30 years accept the other as he is. They accept the faults, and enjoy the good part. It can be very simple. It is not easy. Acceptance that the other person is not perfect.

[@Verismaya]

This video changed EVERYTHING in one sec! Thank you!🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@drhendrickson2880]

Richard, good information. I needed to hear about “what’s fair healthy relationship”. A few topics resonated deeply. It’s hard at times, really tough. Thanks Again

[@KatieDMellott]

This is excellent and well spoken. Thank you!

[@judyjones6304]

Super talk. I thought it was great. Thank you. Happy New Year, Mr. Grannon.

[@trina1962]

I've just started the let them be. This is really really hard. But good God why would I think I could save a person. All I can do is hold presence for them. It's so hard like watching a slow car crash but now I just go in the other room and grieve for them. Cry the emotions out where they can't see it and then come back. But it's also given me my energy back to fix MY life.

[@Mikelk71]

Thank you for the wisdom that comes from knowing what you don’t want from having so many or not having any healthy relationships. I can truly relate. I’ve been doing work on my friendships and trying to translate that into my intimate relationships. For me, there should be no difference with how i behave and how they behave and we interact, but with the wounds I have I have major issues with intimate relationships.

[@betsyc6055]

Equitable is what I thought when you started on that part of the conversation. I think you are so accurate here and it’s because people haven’t examined the consequences of their attachment styles

[@mdel4541]

You always make me smile. I do a mini-analysis of myself during your videos. I have a deep appreciation of your sense of humor, wisdom and honesty. 😊🤗

[@keariewashburn4680]

I agree with what you are saying. Thank you for putting the words out there to clearly hear it all.

[@julesfleur7415]

Very appreciated and enjoy immensely the warm humour . Thank you for all you share .

[@astern1406]

If i t Ain't Broken Don't try and fix it and If It i s Broken go Get a New One !

[@Swansue]

We are all learning. Thank you.

[@lillydimartino6834]

You did GREAT, Richie ❤️

[@pixinotdust4925]

🎯🎯🎯 Thank you very much "Sensei". 🧚🏾‍♀ That´s a really great "Christams present" and an excellent compass for 2023!🙏🏾

[@sallyminshew752]

Perfectly said! Thank you

[@margaretbustos545]

You gave awesome things to think about-you’re OK- sorry I’m not stroking your ego- just telling it like it is😊

[@Gingerscience]

Nailed it! Thank you

[@gemcove5783]

Loved this One Richard! U R one of my Guru’s. 💕

[@ladyk2002]

Yes.. the best teacher is human relationships. This is how we grow.. and stretch to our beautiful loving selves. ❤ ... I think trust in ourselves, showing up for the relationship we want and being honest with ourselves when it isn't working.

[@melaniecrow860]

When you know what you don't want, then you know what you do want.

[@mercedesgomes1226]

You are like a wise friend I really listen to and that I've learnt so much from when I most needed it. Thank you for the valuable insight and advice these last few years. Happy New Year, Richard!

[@farmerjones5233]

Brilliant and insightful. I enjoyed watching the replay of the live stream. I particularly loved the into. You also mentioned a 7th rule. I think it was “abandon sincere communication with the terminally insincere”. Brilliant! Happy new year. Wishing you health happiness and peace be upon you! 👍 edit: and Thank you!

[@crystalnorthhealing]

I'm about 34 mins. into and just want to agree with what was being said there about in spite of stepping up and doing all that's required for a healthy relationship to happen, the other person just not, that's a tough one. I can totally relate to that. Which always led me to say it takes two to make it and just one to break it, with that idea in mind. Thanks for sharing all that you do. Couldn't agree more!

[@I-Care7]

I love your videos, Grannon. This video is the best Birthday gift that I have received so far today. ❤

[@annemarie9980]

Thank you Richard you put so succinctly the important stuff...these points ring true to me..and i haven't had a fully successful relationship yet..but i have experience bits of one..and I believe it's never too late !!..have a Great And Happy New Year🎉🎊 and A BIG THANK YOU🎋 for All you so generously share..much love, peace and blessings to you💖🙏🌟🙌🥰

[@Linda-ki5xh]

This is probably the most vital question for those who have been bruised. We need to get it sorted to open the door to a great relationship... please keep questing this topic

[@kitwanatyhimba5247]

Wonderful advice ✨ Thank you so sharing 🙏🏾