6 SIGNS YOU'RE IN THE TRAUMA BOND: What You Need to Know About the Trauma Bond and Healing

[@LouieShowers]

I just wanted a partner and friend. Instead, I got a haunting spirt and enemy. The most frustrating part is that she actually thinks she's the victim. Thank you endlessly for the words of encouragement.

[@vertyTrades]

Sign of a true narcisist. Putting blame on others, never owning their own actions.

[@yahowshuabenyahudah7734]

I know the feeling, I am going through a similar situation

[@scottchimenti6859]

Definitely dealing with a narcissist. I'm also going through the same thing right now but I have the control this time. It is not over them but myself. It's going to be ok and trust me it will get better. You need to love yourself first and then you will attract true love. Stay strong, be positive, and have patience.

[@Kquist199]

Ughhh I know, my x thinks so too, eye roll

[@santoparfano1910]

Exactly brother...I can relate.

[@anozyra]

I’ve been in a trauma bond for almost 2 years and it feels like it’s never going to end. I just want to stop hurting and stop caring about the person.

[@karenhall8596]

It's been almost a year and a half for me. I understand..☹️ I'm so exhausted...

[@brentpatterson218]

I'm 6 months after breaking up with her and still caring about her. The other day my friend ran into her and said she looked stressed out. All of a sudden I reached out to her to try to help her and also use it as an opportunity to gain closure on the relationship. We talked and she was very cold. I do not want to get back with her at all but I still feel a great sense of desire to help her despite how cold she is. We gotta just remind ourselves they're malicious. They operate in a different worldview. They're better than you in every single way and there's no valid criticism of them to mention. They don't fight fair. You put 100% in and you get 0 back. In fact they're happy to see you still care so much about them. It validates their narcissism.

[@jasondavis1459]

I’m so sorry ! I understand.

[@missj7262]

Going on 4 for me and I felt the same way 2 yrs ago when I was planning my escape...just get out!

[@ruby-qv5bd]

Sending you hugs of support. I feel your pain. It is very difficult to overcome, but keep giving yourself what you need and stay strong.

[@jcat5100]

I want this to end. I am just so hurt. And tired.

[@rashimasimmons7583]

Hugs and kisses from above 🙏

[@salonsavy6476]

Me too 😢,, just keep strong

[@tmklunk]

I totally understand

[@jonesfredrick94]

@Jester_bear I'm in the fight as well super tough

[@65022785]

It is very painful, I get anxiety! It's the worse!!!

[@MR-tr2fz]

This is also greatly a matter of lacking knowledge and experience. People who have no malice in them find it extremely hard to understand that someone can be heartless and malevolent. We want justice, we want balance restored, and mistakenly engage in false 'positive thinking', and give the benefit of the doubt. Once we understand malice, and that we can't recover what the malicious person 'stole' from us, we can move on. Luckily nobody can really steal our heart and strength - we can recover it once we move away from darkness!

[@CommonEgo]

We most definitely can! ❤🙏

[@tenderheart7530]

I can accept it logically but emotionally and spiritually it is a struggle. ☮️

[@britnews]

Thank you. That’s a brilliant comment and very helpful.

[@shwetagoswami5149]

Very well put together. Thank you

[@annfeeney1662]

M R this sounds too familiar , too much like my thought process in the early times of my divorce .

[@PatriciaSobralArtz]

I blocked him. Right now, even though I still feel a lot of things, I am not expecting him to come back. But the grieving is hard, not because I think he deserves my love, but because I realized that even if he came back, he is incapable of love or any emotions, and that's the biggest loss of all. Knowing he never loved me, that person never existed, it was all an illusion. That is more devastating than being dumped by a regular person, because people get back together sometimes and rekindle feelings, but a narcissist will never feel anything. And I want to talk to someone about it so much, and I'm alone. No one wants to hear or understands what it's like. My family doesn't understand why after 3 months, I'm still crying. All I want is for this to stop, but it's like it will never go away.

[@erm1410]

Trust me, I understand where you’re coming from

[@lauren4933]

I feel your pain

[@jilitriveddi3087]

omg same its been 7 months since i broke up but i feel exactly the same, you can talk to me if you want

[@PatriciaSobralArtz]

@@jilitriveddi3087 Thank you! I'm sorry you still feel bad after 7 months, these things are harder to get over than I though. I t's month 4 now and even if I am a little better, I still cry from time to time.

[@annemariekronenburg3256]

I so understand you! That is also the hardest thing for me to accept. That the person I loved never really existed. And that I've lived a lie for 5 years, while I was putting my heart in everything...I

[@dedradavis9800]

How in the world did I get here? I would’ve never thought I’d be in a relationship like this.

[@zimkazenstv6379]

Shocking right?

[@monicaperez2843]

Dedra, many empaths (sensitive people) find themselves in these relationships. Learn all you can about narcissistic sociopaths.

[@Hitomiaka]

I'm so sorry. We're here with you. I just stopped replying to my narc about 20mins. I want to see what he said but i know it'll make me emotional

[@twinbulls1980]

I’ve never thought that either, and this is the first time for me. I’ve had crappy boyfriends that have just been outright mean or aloof, but there had never been an instance where I craved a man’s attention (good and bad) even after being emotionally degraded until now.

[@debic9072]

Same! 👀 … but I promise you, it gets better! 🙏🏻🌺

[@SLOtsuji]

I love when you said “this is all a natural part of the healing process and where you are right now is perfect. It’s where you’re meant to be”. Thank you so much it gave me peace.

[@sononi4798]

Hi! Hopefully I can make someone feel better by sharing. I was obsessively watching narc videos for months and I finally feel fairly detached from it all 9 months out. I just want to encourage anyone who feels trapped and bonded that you can't rush your recovery. It is a bit like an evil spell that has to wear off but I suggest channels like this that are focused on understanding why this happened and moving forward positively and start phasing out channels that are just focused on how horrible the narc is blah blah blah. There's a time for the anger but you can't stay stuck in it. Focus on yourself, loving and caring for yourself.

[@dailyequanimity]

SO NONI Thank you. So, how did you get out, safely, without feeling weak and scared and folding in?

[@sononi4798]

@@dailyequanimity I was a little scared but I was more angry than anything and scared of how much I would lose if I didn't get out. It wasn't easy but we were having an argument and he just reached a new level of douchebag and then stormed out. I dropped his stuff off to him when he wasn't home and then blocked him. He tried to contact me for a couple months but I stayed no contact and then he moved on to his next victim. It's more tricky if you live together or have children and if you think they will hurt you than really need a solid plan but otherwise the hardest part is being in conflict with yourself.

[@cookiebob_]

Completely agree with you regarding watching the videos that focus on understanding the behaviour rather than the symptoms. Going over the symptoms, the nasty behaviour just keeps you angry. Learning about the how and why eases the pain and validates your decision to leave.

[@dailyequanimity]

SO NONI Well said and that’s why I just discovered and like this channel and all of Dr. Les Carter’s Surviving Narcissism video channel content. They both give constructive ways to extricate ourselves from these very difficult relationships that seem to take away our very essence.

[@cookiebob_]

@@dailyequanimity The Little Shaman is very good too

[@pamelalanenaanderson]

Wow, so I'm not crazy!

[@Queenbre97]

No ur not sweetie they make u feel as if u are caz they so manipulative

[@jonesfredrick94]

I thought the same thing, its a delusional lifestyle

[@Rachelbinnington]

No, you are not. Neither am I. I mean, I'm quirky, to be sure...but not crazy. Not anymore. *Hug*

[@GrandMasterPeep]

You’re not crazy baby!!

[@chloe8863]

I always felt like I was crazy

[@yourstruly3585]

Oh my god I’m crying right now, I just assumed I was the narcissist and that’s why he was treating me like that. These signs are literally 100% what I’ve gone through and I always genuinely thought I was this terrible evil narcissist

[@maddejohnson9032]

Wow that’s crazy. I’ve been so confused too trying to figure out if I’m one too....but no everyone’s telling me to get away from him. Hard and sad with 3 young kids though 😞

[@oliviavaldez8961]

Yours Truly and Madde Johnson...look up Narcissist Projection. What is happening to you when you think you are the Narc, is called "projection" and "mirroring" too. Best of luck stay strong I am trauma bonded in ways no one could understand. It is horrible but we are not alone. We are each other's strength!

[@gmbbrz]

@@oliviavaldez8961 the only escape from this is sleep.

[@becca7038]

They are good at that. But now I know I'm not an abusive toxic narcissist.

[@MsSimpleMovies]

An narc wouldn’t ever suspect they are narcs. You’re good 👍

[@TurboTracie]

I feel so defeated. I’m ready for the pain to end. I’m tired of crying.

[@marialvelo7178]

I'm with you on this one girl....I'm so tired of my stomach hurting, feeling lost, and always crying. I never feel comfortable :(

[@TurboTracie]

Mari Alvelo we can do this. Just like she said, we heal in our own time. But damn, ready to get through “this” time.

[@user-2911]

Be Encouraged. #me too🤭 I’m feeling it too y’all are not alone. After 18 years

[@KellyKristin]

It will get better, keep working on you - give yourself some love, compassion and understanding

[@TambriaMoore]

I found understanding brain chemistry and the addictive nature of love and the knowledge I’m in real physical withdrawals very consoling and helpful...it passes after some time, the withdrawals. However, replace the drug of that sick love with health commitments that provide the same chemical injections of dopamine and none of the stresses or flight fight freeze cortisol

[@surfshack2]

Boy these monsters can really twist you up. I've been no contact for 6 months. I still get crazy with ruminating thoughts of my ex. But i know i can't go back. Still it is very difficult.

[@themoonbleu627]

how long were you in the relationship ?

[@Jessica_BR]

When I realized that there was something wrong with him, I started to try making him a better person. Showing love, kindness, faithful, care. But no one of these things worked then I am in my way to move on. There are days that I feel bad, because I really want to help him in being a good person, but I feel bad for allowing the abuse at the same time. I am in no contact with the narc since his birthday, around 35 days. Because of the quarantine, I am worried about him. I am anxious, angry and it makes me sad, because he isn't worried about me. .. My mind seems to blow up. I am doing some yoga exercises, reading books, writing, watching videos, listening music. Doing these things I can "forget" about him for a little bit. But when I go to bed, I can't sleep normally. I dream with him. It has been a hell. I just wish to erase the memories about this demon of my mind.

[@isaymanalot]

Hi Jessica, I'm going through a very similar situation. I wrote down what I wanted to let go of on a piece of paper after a nice meditation, and now I have to go burn the paper.. it's a beautiful and symbolic way of being grateful for the strength to let go and at the same time forgive him and yourself for feeling so much pain. I hope this serves you. And you're welcome to add me on Instagram if you need a friend to support each other: _leomoon_

[@GabrielXDrums]

Jéssica PS same here!!’ 😫 I just been sleeping all day today because she left me 3 weeks before the lockdown and cheated on me with the new guy she suddenly met at the gym right before she broke up with me, she even told me when I asked her if she was talking to him when we were together and she said “yes” and then I asked “where are you” and she tells me “with my daddy I already told you lol” and she moved in with him all the way to LA from being in Sacramento and I’d drive two hours from the Bay Area to see her all the time and she says it’s my fault she left... HOW is it my fault... I hate it so much because I’m not the one who cheated... she called me TWO DAYS AGO after having blocked me and I hate it because I blinked like ten times and I was blocked before but I didn’t answer, now I wonder why she called and she set me back so bad :( I keep dreaming about her, just had a dream that we were setting a boat on fire or something and she was there but I don’t know why. She never had a place to live (well she did but didn’t choose to be there) she was with her friend and I guess she left her girlfriend to live with the guy in LA for opportunity, making dirty easy money and completely ignoring everything I ever did. She went as far as to physically hit me a few times while I was driving and before V Day after I gave her a gift she wanted the next day we fought and she ended up biting me.... I’m so attached to her it’s insane, I DID genuinely love her, I’d kiss her forehead all the time... I’m afraid if she reaches out again... dammit now I gotta sleep 😫😫😫

[@rescuingmyself6429]

The dreams... the dreams are what keeps you thinking they are still apart of us... our soul smh

[@mde2673]

Barbara Vath stay strong and stick to your plans. He will hurt you again once you acknowledge him. These people only loves you when you are not there, they crave for you when you are absent from their lives. The minute they get your attention again, they will eventually get bored and leave and this cycle will start all over again. Meanwhile you will feel all beaten and drained till one day they will eventually discard you for good.

[@sarahmaycruz9493]

This is what im feeling right now.. very same to yours.. :c i hate the person for what he did to me.. but most of the time i still think about him if how he is..

[@seegybogy3353]

1. 2:35 You are holding hope that the narcissist is gonna come back. ( Nope 🖕 ) 2. 3:43 You are still falling for the love bombing. ( Nope 🖕 ) 3. 4:36 Making excuses for the narcissist. ( Nope 🖕 ) 4. 5:31 Feel tied to the person. ( Nope 🖕 ) 5. 7:28 Spend a lot of time thinking of the abuser ( Nope 🖕 ) 6. 8:00 Subscribed to the abuser's reality ( Nope 🖕 ) Despite no contact, do feel anger some time though.

[@anxietyflower471]

okay good for you can’t relate

[@joat9278]

🤣😩

[@ehmac7921]

I cannot thank you enough for this comment. The nope w/emoji literally just turned my tears into laughter. Thank you!

[@Jezebel066]

I healed awhile back & it drives him crazy I think. I just keep being me no matter who I’m told I am or how I’m blamed for his craziness. I am trying so hard bc I want to honor my vows & Bc my children adore him. He just seems to want me to stay beat down for some reason...

[@SarahDale111]

I want a t-shirt with (Nope 🖕) on it. 😄💛

[@christophergrant5705]

Now the Joker and Harley Quinn relationship makes sense

[@trynatural23]

Ha! Totally! I once craved that type of love. Not any more!🙄🤦🏽‍♀️😂

[@lauren4933]

Oh my god this is so true

[@TRex-ph7qh]

It’s funny you can see this type of relationship all the time in movies and it’s very romanticized..

[@thefrequencyislove222]

Disney movies like Beauty and the beast too

[@user-iw5xr5ew3f]

My narcissistic ex actually referred to him and me as joker and Harley Quinn!

[@robertswift6101]

the trauma bond is literally a form of rape and your soul or very essence is stolen or missing,,,these people are dangerous to empaths

[@peace4mefinally114]

You and who else, me too! My heart was wrecked :-(

[@robertswift6101]

@@peace4mefinally114 time heals all wounds,,,some are just longer than others,,,stay positive

[@lauraraines767]

Wow truth!!

[@chakasoul]

Exactly

[@ericaawake9503]

Peace4Me Finally! Same here....I am in so much pain....

[@judddarguedarbyshire1977]

After multiple discards over a 10 yr marriage, i unexpectedly arrived at a different perspective in an instant, like a switch had been flipped and i saw myself, became myself again and i knew my decision was made. I went no contact, i understood this life challenge and embraced it. These videos have been a lifeline when i feel emotional, they validate, support and encourage me , i can go many weeks healing well then spend an evening watching these videos to help me back on my track and i always learn something more too. What I did not expect at this part of my journey is that sometimes the hardest part can be the " knowing " that we survive, that I am going to survive . It rarely happens, but it's quite profound,,, nevertheless its " hoover-proof " , because i control that now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart x

[@heavenlygrandma9992]

Realizing (and reminding myself often) that he didn't love me and probably never did love me and that he only wanted to use me for the things I did, helped me to get out of the trauma bonded stage pretty quick.

[@loverainthunder]

Also, your narcissist might be your source of safety, or self worth. They might represent your hope, leaving them may represent losing that which is most needed and valuable to you. So don't believe the hype. They just play that role because you value it, so you'll depend on them. But you can find or grow that most valuable thing somewhere else. This relates to psychological or emotional values. But even a place to live, food, and material needs will be lorded over by narcissists, and many many people get those needs met without narcissists. So, if your mind is insisting you need the narcissist, recognize this as a mental glitch. Not truth, fact or reality. Fact is, no one needs narcissists. Even newborns will be better off adopted than sabotaged by narcissist moms.

[@jcooper1026]

Exactly what I’m going through. I feel like I have to stay because he gives me a place to live, vehicles to drive, food for me & my dog.

[@NonSoup]

You're so validating. Thank you

[@CommonEgo]

Thanks for watching! ❤🙏

[@freerobuxcheckmychannel2521]

25 years before I figured this out. I am beyond devastated. Nothing was real. Why was I asleep for so long?

[@kathyclancy551]

Accepting that it was not a real relationship has been the hardest part for me. I would think back to the times he would tell me that I was attractive and I would say “why can’t you compliment my brain sometime?” Now I know why he would mockingly said “Oh, you are so smart”. I wasn’t smart enough to see that he didn’t really love me and it was all an act. 😭

[@charitychepchirchir8235]

7 years of sleep as well

[@Prettysurgtechbabe]

21 years for me. Smh. We were together since I was 16. I’m 37 now and just really putting the pieces together.

[@beckybakken9074]

25 years for me as well. I'm broken. But healing, little by little each day.

[@freerobuxcheckmychannel2521]

@@beckybakken9074 💕

[@rescuingmyself6429]

Loving your abuser....loving someone who can see so much of yourself in them (the good parts, the pain), loving someone you feel is your soulmate but they continue to belittle you, neglect you, then build you up Lord have mercy.... I just want to save him but I can’t

[@dingyah]

Thanks so much for this video. I've been struggling to break a trauma bond with what I considered the love of my life...and that I could never find better. This helps so much. Bit by bit, I'll find my way back. To anyone else out there struggling every day - so long as we're putting in the work, we'll make it. bit by bit.

[@BexyCuz1]

Its crazy how these words from a total stranger make me cry :( ive been going through hell on earth to keep this person in my life and everyday im more exhausted than the previous one. Thank you for believing in everyone out there who is stuck like me because i definitely dont believe in myself :(

[@LUDMILA124]

20 days since I left home and the covert narcissist. I just can't stop thinking about our good moments and how crazy his behaviors can be some times. He totally started to Descarte and humiliating me and I couldn't stay anymore. That should be enough for me to stop thinking about "how good our life could've been " but I am still mourning. The pain is unbelievable

[@gretalas9092]

How are you doing? I'm going through the same situation

[@LUDMILA124]

Greta Las hi. I've been No contact @all . Some days I feel like I'm over it other days I feel miserable and confused. But I have decided not to make any decision based on emotions anymore. If you are mourning, confused,sad, feeling guilty and unworthy please remember ALL THAT WILL PASS. You gave your best to that narc. You are not the problem the narc is. After a while we start to see "the light again" and it feels very new and wonderful.

[@stevestamper942]

Wow, this hit home...I'm so trauma bonded, I just roll over and let my s2b ex just keep abusing me, she moved out, I keep in contact, she wants a divorce, I keep in contact, whatever she needs I'm right there...ignoring all red flags!!! I really got to get my shit together!!!

[@oliviavaldez8961]

I know harder said than done, but just Stop...don't be there for her, don't contact her...just wait and see what happens! And every time you refrain pat yourself on the back and tell yourself "I start healing now!" it helps! Remind yourself that you do not deserve a toxic relationship! Best of luck!

[@cybelerivera4513]

I’m definitely still in the trauma bond. I’m So consumed with thoughts of him

[@reynapcarrillo1847]

I am too ... I can't seem to leave him

[@christinenoelle7568]

I married mine twice!!! 32 years of abuse! I’m in the trama bond. Thank you for your knowledge! ❤️

[@christianpulisic7784]

Christine Noelle,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🥀,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

[@KentPatriot]

Live and learn... Or don't! Twice?! I mean, yeah, I've been through the cycles during my marriage but I wouldn't do it again. With anyone!!! 🤷🏻‍♂️😊

[@dawna4185]

good news is that we can and will get through this. i was a worse case scenario....so trapped by my own inability to extricate self from the toxic person. did this for years. with knowledge, inner work and never giving up on yourself and taking responsiblity for your choices you can and will heal. stop telling yourself it is hopeless because it isn't. i am living proof. most importantly, learn to love yourself so much...make this your full time pursuit . loving self is key!!! protect and love yourself like you would a little child....

[@TimboBarry]

I think one thing that's really held me back is holding onto this slim belief that this isn't really who this person is, despite my experience saying everything to the contrary.

[@catlady6938]

I had this happen to me I knew what he was but always had a niggling doubt I was wrong. We had decided to break up and after two weeks I was in contact with him again, he was still the same nothing had changed, I realised I was right all along, the doubts were the trauma bond doing it’s stuff. I actually felt much better after this episode and can finally begin to let go.

[@TimboBarry]

@@catlady6938 are you comfortable saying how he was "the same"? I'd like to compare notes.

[@cyndigooch1162]

This is a great video and I want to point out that it usually goes back to childhood issues with narcissistic parents and other caregivers, because it's familiar to the experiences with them. I've mentioned this due to the fact that some people wouldn't end up in this type of relationship since they'd end it at the first sign of abuse. And I wasn't responsible for the abuse, yet I AM responsible for doing the painful work necessary to stop this from happening again, which isn't easy at all, but it's worth it in the end. 🙂

[@amberbryant874]

Cyndi Gooch what kind of work do I do to heal from my childhood so I don’t keep doing this to myself? I know why I do what I do I just don’t know how to heal so I stop. Feel so helpless and hopeless😰

[@ab-kh4hm]

@@amberbryant874( how you doin?? Hope you're feeling better. Self Love U videos very helpful also. Hugs)

[@deela262]

@@amberbryant874 going uphill is much harder than going downhill. Changing deeply entrenched mental patters needs much energy, perseverance, and time as well as timely guidance. First up you can be ever so glad that you decided to END a vicious cycle that will cause a negative chain reaction with many others .. victimes becomes perpetrators who in turn prey more victims.. think!! Already you have a reason you rejoice.😇. Not sure if you want to change from being a narc or from being a victim so cannot say more

[@amberbryant874]

Deela victim. I am only attracted to men who are just like my father. Liars, cheaters, abusers, manipulators, womanizers, drug addicts, thieves, losers etc. and I have a very serious fear of abandonment to the point that when a man eventually leaves , usually with another woman he’s been cheating on me with I do drastic dramatic things and act out. I laid in the middle of an interstate in traffic when my ex left me. And then I suffer horrible pain ehen they leave to the point that I literally feel like I’m gong to die it hurts so bad. I don’t know what to do anyMore. It’s the same cycle over and over has been my whole life. And idk how to stop it

[@amberbryant874]

a b thank u. Not doing well at all.

[@giselarivera4380]

I love her. She explains so perfect every single details

[@HQ93]

Whenever I feel the pressure to go back, I’m going to watch this. 💜

[@oliviavaldez8961]

Good for you H Q! Also look up "Intermittent Reinforcement" that explains a lot of the reasons why we feel so trapped and go back!

[@tacobelle69]

I don’t understand how to detach..I’ve tried so many things. Especially when nothing is going on in life right now. It’s like 24/7 thoughts of him..so unhealthy.....

[@nycely101]

I feel you it’s so hard to detach idk what to do anymore

[@nycely101]

If I leave them o end up coming right back

[@reynapcarrillo1847]

@@nycely101 I am in the same boat as u r... very difficult

[@anton211985]

Same here when I think of her

[@Saygabakaaro]

Everytime you think about the narc punch your other hand. That will be release ok. Continue and do that. Trust me very soon u won't have again. Cheers

[@rhondahoward8025]

"Trauma bonding" sounds similar to "Stockholm Syndrome" where a captive person develops affection/attachment to their captor.

[@pritirobynross8870]

She has a video on the similarities

[@Razainthewoods]

I love your soothing voice and reminding me that anyone would feel the same way in this kind of abuse.

[@shaniecegullison]

Still coming back to THIS every now and then

[@bethanyhall7252]

I feel like I'm going crazy with constantly thinking about him, being paranoid that I'll see him in public etc., and yet learning about trauma bonding and realising I can relate to every single one of these has settled my mind somewhat. I recognised that he gaslighted and targeted me but never realised that it was abuse, I almost feel bad in saying so because I didn't let things go far enough for us to be in a relationship, so saying that what he did to me was abuse makes me feel a bit like an imposter. But thank you for making me feel like I'm not insane.

[@albertbrady712]

"Where we are, is where we need to be ..." This is very encouraging. Thank you.

[@CommonEgo]

👉 Free 12-page workbook on the 4 stages of narcissistic abuse (with checklists): bit.ly/3LTXkzE Thanks for watching! If you're feeling addicted to an abusive person, it's not your fault. Have you experienced any of the signs of trauma bonding after your relationship with a narcissist?

[@Mike-xt2lh]

I might be anyways thanks for your content and insights on these people who are very toxic . You and Dez Rock !!!

[@CommonEgo]

@@Mike-xt2lh thank you! And you're right... love JC's channel too ❤🙏

[@Mike-xt2lh]

@@CommonEgo Well you're very welcome you and him are very wise 🙏!!!

[@BigPete44]

You really know how to hit the nail right on the head Christina! 👍😉😉😘🙏♥️

[@Mike-xt2lh]

@@BigPete44 True dat 😏

[@phillove1015]

I can relate to 4 of the 6 things. I'm happy to know I'm not crazy and I don't need to be ashamed that I'm still dealing with this.

[@roseyhudson2963]

I’ve finally broken free from my narcissistic ex, 7 years and discovering he was cheating made me realise I deserve so much better. Your videos have put everything into perspective and encouraged me to stay positive during this life change. Your helping people in so many different ways, thankyou xxx

[@christianpulisic7784]

Rosey Hudson,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@65022785]

Came here because I ended my relationship of 19 yrs exactly a week ago..by the 4th day I wanted to know about him, then I felt guilty about how I ended the relationship, then I started questioning if I could off hang for just a little bit more to make things or make changes to have a better relationship, today after a week I began having anxiety, and feels horrible, can't function properly, confusions occurs, constant thinking of him, I decided to do research of why am I feeling like these, came across this video and will definitely help me!! I have 5 kids that need their mommy and I'm working towards my healing, I need to stay strong for my kids!! I wish everyone well and stay strong, its VERY painful..

[@tinapatey6606]

Thank you for all this info...I am currently trying to break the trauma bond. He always says "If I give you another chance, in 6 months you will start acting crazy again!" I totally understand what you have said!! All your videos have truly enlightened me and awakened me to the abuse I have endured for 30 years! I had no idea this was happening to me, he was very subtle until I started putting myself first and him second...I was no longer useful so he left!

[@marie-chantalecarriere7595]

Thank you for this info .... 35 years of marriage and 5 months separated and one month no contact .... lots of healing to do ...

[@christianpulisic7784]

Marie-Chantale Carriere You look stunning 🌹🌷 dear

[@robertschultz9892]

Yay! I'm on the other sidel! So true about being in the clutches of trauma bonds. This video was very reassuring. We all heal at different paces, and these videos are a real help. Thank you so much.

[@CommonEgo]

That's awesome news! 🙏❤

[@binalsolanki9030]

I've been having consistent dreams of reuniting with a covert narcissist ex "best" friend. He would be so nice to me, so incredibly encouraging at times and then make me feel like the ugliest, most needy person alive. This went on for 18 long years! He actually went and told all our common friends that I was a drama queen when I refused to bend backwards for him anymore. 5 years have gone by since I last spoke to him and I realised today that the dreams are just the trauma bond not some soulmate connection. The dreams really bothered me and I thought I'll call/text him during the pandemic and ask how he is. Now I won't. You just saved me months, maybe years of trauma! Thank you so much. I could hug you right now! Oh and I have a narc Dad too. He's being super nice nowadays and now I know he's love bombing me! God! Thanks for all this awareness. I hope you have yourself some really nice people around you. You and everybody in the comments going through emotional abuse; love to all of you. Let's heal!

[@redhotyummybrownie2]

I was in a relationship with my ex for nearly four years. And I later learn that my ex was a narcissist and was emotionally abusing me. I never knew what trauma bonding was until I saw this video. I have signs 1-5 and every single thing you mentioned is exactly everything I'm experiencing currently. I want to heal and move on already.

[@30lacieful]

Same here. I never knew until I realized I can’t let go even though he kept cheating on me .

[@natalielino7078]

Me too it's so hard😪😪

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

Ms. Christina is on point. I'm old school. With that being said, I don't tolerate much bullshit. The trauma bond faded away after a few months due to my X behavior and conduct that I deemed unacceptable months ago. My X have shown her true colors. Their is no coming back after she down graded and found a rebound guy. This is where I drew the line.

[@shinertaz]

They want you to chase them and beg because it makes them fill special remember there self grandiose ego maniacs

[@adrij4961]

Mine told me my begging at first (which I very much regret) was harassment and blocked me. Then later told me the easy ways to her heart are closed off but she’s still reachable if I’m willing to work hard enough 🙄🙄🙄

[@suncluster]

I don’t just think he is coming back. I feel him coming back. Somedays I am excited about it and I feel like it will finally be the resolution I want. And other days I dread it and hate him for the pain I have been in.

[@skimerchick]

Thank you for this. I just got out of a 2-year relationship. One day I realized I was really unhappy after we had a fight and I called my friends crying and they helped me move out the next day. I have the most amazing friends but I had a partner who never made me feel validated or loved. She would deny things that she said and would never take the fault for anything. I always felt like she would try and hurt me emotionally if I didn't give her what she wanted at that exact moment. It never was enough for her. She would never say sorry. "I'm sorry you feel that way," was the closest thing I would ever get, it made me feel crazy. She made me feel like I didn't do enough, except that I gave up so much of myself to do all the things she asked and more. It's been hard, even after one month I feel like anytime we engage in conversation she starts our nice and then tries to get into an argument, and I don't give in. It's very confusing. I see what she's doing, but it still really hurts me and I'm still very saddened each time, and I cry. But I am on the path to recognizing this pattern in my relationships and I hope to come out better and to love myself.

[@golnazabaee599]

I am in my healing journey and it has been 7 weeks. I can still related to two of the things. But your positive and reassurance is extremely helpful!!!!

[@electradelano168]

"RECOGNIZE IT AS ABUSE!'" I had to smile as FINALLY, I heard you validate the way I was feeling, thinking and living life....before making the mistake of allowing Narc back into inner circle. Sigh! I JUST found your channel and this is my first video of yours. I like your vibe and I am exited to check out more of your views! I love how in this video, that you share these few phrases of self-acceptance, patience and self-love : "Where you are right now is perfect..... is where you are meant to be.......Recovery is not a straight line....DO NOT COMPARE! Etc... This person was never actually showing empathy or support in conversations, and that initially...we only met because our mothers had been friends since high-school , and ther began with the same tone and kinds of questions , and already with a look of concern upon her face: "So....how is your _____ doing? Whats going on with them since ________ ? How are they seeming to cope with _________________? " So literally, it would appear as if she was a caring and concerned friend, right? WRONG... I have recently reminded many of our times together, like 10-20 years ago.... which always started alone over coffee and ended with meeting up with others, and that in a group, her demeanor was totally different. I remember feeling her stare me down, kind of like aggressive dogs do to gain dominance, and I realize that there was always a vibe that left me feeling uncomfortable, out of place, and she had a way of making me feel insecure, and.... THIS IS ABUSE... I have taken my power back- I am not sitting back quietly after the destruction I have faced. Seeking justice is truly epic!

[@GillianRice]

I wish I had access to this video ten years ago. It would have saved me years of pain :(

[@zp4450]

Thank you for your wonderful video. I’m 2+ years of no contact after an 18 year friendship/relationship. He left and never looked back. I stopped trying to contact him after 4 months of radio silence. I know I’m no longer trauma bonded because I want nothing to do with him but I still rely very much on KZbin videos to get me through the pain of knowing it was 18 years of lies and superficial bonding. I still need the validation from the videos to know what I went through was very real. Thank you ❤️

[@louiseflorencec9253]

I was just in a 4 year relationship w/ a man I’ve recently realized was emotionally abusive. He ended the relationship by ghosting me - blocked me on everything without a word or closure. ( this was only 1 week ago) The grief is tremendous and i know the healing process is going to be so hard. He’s done this before 1 year ago and I took him back… Im just so upset at myself.

[@sprock4chick]

This is scarily accurate & quite traumatic to actually realise. This is me to a tee x

[@tashablackwell4112]

I am watching this because my therapist told me I was in a trauma bond today. So here I am finding some comfort in not being alone.

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

GREAT video---I finally broke the trauma bond--going no contact is what helped me.

[@jennaholzer]

OMG Trauma bond is a thing that endures long after the separation !! Light bulb moment THANK YOU I married one of these, was abused, divorced, continued to be abused until new supply came along 7 years later ugh we had 2 kids and sadly could never co-parent them. Now my kids have trauma bond issues.

[@silencedxdesire]

I was deeply in a trauma bond with my abuser. I’m somewhere in the middle of freshly being out and moving forward. Thank you so much for making these videos. I wish I had found them sooner but better late than never. Thank you ❤️

[@one1nderer]

I just learned of the term Trauma Bond while recovering from a narc relationship. You touched on all 6 signs. Luckily, I’m not in the relationship anymore. It did, however, reveal to me how deep the wounds from CPTSD go in me, and how much healing I have yet to do. Been in recovery two months since the relationship ended and learning so much about myself. The work is giving me hope I’ll find real, healthy love.

[@roberttiniakos3200]

Wow. I never knew there was a name for this. I have witnessed my husband go through this many times with a family member. He has gone no contact Since October. I do feel like the trauma bond is fading. This is so hard to do with a family member. I have such empathy for my husband. Thank you for sharing This has helped me understand what my husband is going through

[@cindytran4141]

I think I am with a narcissist. Everything that you had mentioned I am going through or had encountered. I never knew there was such a word, "narcissist".

[@jbbbygrace8301]

Thank you so much for this today! I’m at the end of my strength in every way in dealing with a pathological lying, abusive, extremely manipulative and chronically adulterous “pastor” husband. This helped me to see that I’m still in the trauma bond, and “holding space” for him, trying to rescue him. Should have left 6 months ago, as I was told. I pray to God to give me the strength to get out. That’s hardly any of me left. My life is a complete train wreck after all the abuse. This was so very, very helpful and came at just the right time.

[@leslie.dixon.]

Julianne ByGrace stay strong & keep learning. No one deserves to live like this. ❤️

[@caycic1]

can you contact me?

[@jbbbygrace8301]

Leslie Johnson - Thank you Leslie so much for such a kind response and for sharing your knowledge & wisdom in dealing and healing from trauma and abuse. Am learning as much as I can, and putting Exit strategies A,B,& C in place again. I really loved your compassion and kindness in saying that everyone heals in different ways and at their own pace.💝🕊(outta here soon).

[@leslie.dixon.]

Julianne ByGrace I’m so glad! 💕

[@hechrhymes4018]

The struggle is real. Narcissists have a way of implanting a chip in the back of your mind. I met a Narcissist 10 years ago who I was with for 2 years, and it nearly took all that time to heal thereafter. Unfortunately, after all the progress I made I met another one. Despite how brief the second relationship was, it made an impression and brought a lot of the past traumas back. Praise to this channel and others like it that offer valuable insight to people who are suffering. I'm glad there is a name for this demonic quality and more importantly... information. If there wasn't, I'd be still chasing my tail, running in circles, thinking it was "all my fault."

[@leslie.dixon.]

Thank you! Yes! I’m still in my marriage, but it’s over. I know he’s toxic for me & I know I need to leave. But, I keep falling back into wanting to “fix” the relationship. I do gray rock for awhile, he changes nothing. I get lonely & I want my marriage to work, so I go back. A few days in I’m feeling heavy & lonely still, even if he hasn’t done anything mean. But I begin to realize I’m the one carrying the relationship again & the hurts from the past are showing up in my life & in my dreams. I stay confused.

[@user-2911]

Leslie Johnson Be encouraged. 19 years myself same thing YOU ARE NOT ALONE

[@leslie.dixon.]

Gigi Baker Thank you! I needed that!

[@user-2911]

Leslie Johnson anytime- you got it. I’m still a roller coaster girl. Today I turn 45, I celebrate myself. I KNOW IT WASNT ME. God has everything handled. I love you n I don’t know you. YOU GOT THIS

[@leslie.dixon.]

Gigi Baker That’s awesome! I’m 44 and I’ve felt like I’ve just wasted so much time! But, I know that while I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, I do believe my experience will help others. That’s a huge comfort.❤️I love you too!!! 💕

[@dub1951]

Don't let anymore precious time slip by do what's right for you life's to short, you know your flogging a dead horse, I wish you well on your journey all the best from Ireland

[@DLRiggle]

Thank you thank you thank you. I’m finally out of a 30 year marriage to an emotionally abusive narcissist. I knew very early that something wasn’t right, but was in a very vulnerable place having just been dumped by a previous Narc. My ego wouldn’t admit that, and I spent the next three decades (God, that sounds WAY longer than 30 years!) putting up with and making excuses and HOPING things would change. He withheld affection as punishment so often it became a normal thing for me to beg for his attention, which I can see now was just feeding the his narcissistic ego. I got the opportunity to move across the country away from the situation and jumped at it, but lately I’ve been feeling sad and lonely. I feel like I SHOULD be feeling empowered for the very first time in my whole life. Something in me, I think, is waiting for my “normal” life to come back. I feel SO much better knowing I’m not crazy, I’m TRAUMA BONDED, and that’s just where I am on my journey. I’m devouring your videos, and can now say I’m pointing my hope in another direction.

[@samjackson8779]

Got discarded again for the last time! Got gaslighted so bad I almost believed it was all my fault, now I know she's a Narc! Silent treatment for the first time this time, NC day 5

[@elastation]

I’m going through this right now and it’s a excruciating pain that I don’t wish to anyone. I feel like I lost control of my life and myself . Thank you for this video, now I know I’m not crazy but this is abuse.

[@kathyclancy551]

Christina, you are like a good friend who has been through the same experience sharing her wisdom. Thank you for helping me to not beat myself up for not being farther along in the healing process. I really enjoyed your video.

[@christianpulisic7784]

Kathy Clancy You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷 dear

[@brittanikai4104]

Ive just started my trauma bond healing. And it makes me really emotional, like I'm starting to shake and tear up. Because its scary. because I didn't realize what was happening to me. and I had no intention of letting go until now. and I'm just scared because I associated love with this person. and I dont even know. I feel grief because I didn't even consider him as a narcissist or even an abuser.

[@eliotrevisan3642]

I’m still in a very confusing mindset. I know that my ex boyfriend did a lot of bad things (physically and psychologically) but there’s this part of me still trying to justify him and blaming myself for everything that happened. I’m exhausted. Wish this was all just a nightmare

[@aquariusdiva3300]

I have never heard of trauma bonding until this video. I'm in tears !! I've been in this state all my life. 3 long term relationships 30 yrs of my life with others that kept me in mental physical and emotional bondage. My father was a narcissistic man whom abuse us all. My love for them all still keep me bonded.. I don't know any other way to be.. I just broke it off with my last relationship... It's worn me down and I just have nothing to give anyone. I feel I can never truly love or be loved by anyone unless I'm abused.. I don't know what its like to be loved except by my mother.. And she is all I have left in this world.. My ties to her are the only thing that keeps me going. I smile and joke with her only because she wants to see me happy before she leaves this world.. I wish for it but so scared to try anymore. I'm trying to heal but I don't know how too truly heal. I pray day and night and I try to leave it all in Gods hands but it still happens because I know no other way to be treated..

[@Irene-ji8gh]

As I cry and become inspired for a new art piece, the blue bird who has been choked to death in the cage but now the door is wide open. First I was trauma bonded by mom, now it’s my ex boyfriend and it is so painful.

[@mimim8532]

I am still in the trauma bond. I just found my new home and think- where is he? I miss him. But I know its not right. Thank you! this saved me today. I am moving onwards and upwards...I had watched all these but then he love bombed me and I doubted if he was ever a narcissist..then it happened again and again- then physical...I finally broke free and still feel so sad. Feel like I did this and ruined it. NO! so thankyou!

[@nataliaratajczak6035]

I'm going through this right now and it's killing me on the inside :(

[@christianpulisic7784]

Natalie Ratajczak,You deserve better

[@a1m4thah3d]

I MUST be in a trauma bond. I'm in the discard phase and I know her well enough to know how she is with most people that have been shunned in her life and I know that once we're done: we're done. Part of me is relieved, but part of me also worries about her getting by in life. I miss the good times we DID have together...but I also know those were sprinkled in between all of the abusive tactics she's used on me for years. Its like I already miss her, but I need her gone for my own sanity. Part of me still holds out hope that MAYBE she'll realize how she's been and we can come to terms and be ok again (even though I know that will never happen). Just sucks cause she has pets that have become family to me and its not just her I'm losing, but them too. Knowing I'll never see my babies again hurts the most I think. I'm also a very reclusive person and she's pretty much been the only one I've shared my life with for the past 8 years. I'll adjust, I know I will, it just sucks right now.

[@rmbrett01]

Thank you so much for existing and for creating these videos. I only became aware of them less than two days ago, but they have lent SO much context and perspective to what I have been going through over nearly the past two years after breaking up with someone who I now know was a narcissist, plain and simple. You have shown me that my own experiences, which I thought were mysterious, twisted, unique, and even a little sick are simply the collateral damage of someone else's issue, and that many, many others have experienced this emotional abuse and frustration at " lack of closure" before me. I have been spinning my wheels over this for so long...and I feel like you have given me the proverbial kitty litter to place under my tires to get me out of this icy ditch. Thank you SO much! ❤️

[@kerryfaden94]

So grateful- have 2 narcissists in my life- so powerful to find out about trauma bonding- it has been too much for me. Grateful for your community- Exhausted but empowered and ready!

[@MrM0saic]

I have a lot of these signs... I’m fortunate to have a protective and loving husband. The narc is my mother and he’s actually been instrumental in helping me to leave my relationship with her... I told her she’s the narcissist and he’s done so much research about how he can help. I think it’s so hard for a girl to break her bond with her mom even when I (she) knows how sick her mother is...

[@staggerlee3587]

Meditation helped me alot to get over the narcissist that i was married to for 32 years. And through meditation and videos like this i lean and i put a stop to it. Some days my brain goes a little crazy because its hard for me to believe a human can be so evil. But ive gone no contact and it’s amazing how much better i feel and my life it. If you have a narcissist in your life. Then get them out and do it quickly. Their whole purpose in life is to drag you to “hell” along with them.

[@aliciaettlin574]

Thank you for this video! After a good phase, I started feeling bad again and I got extremely frustrated and angry with myself, my ex and what he has done to me. This video helps so much to feel better again. I really like your channel and the support it provides xx

[@CommonEgo]

I've been there. I think it helps to know those days are just part of the process. Thanks for watching! ❤🙏

[@miconn99]

your videos make so much sense to me and the way you present them is amazing thank you

[@lifeintheoc5163]

I did so many things out of my normal character in that relationship. I really lost myself. I ended up drained and discarded at the end. I'm two months out and still having a hard time. No contact has been hard since I was wanting closure but he just blames me for everything and insists he did nothing wrong. Yet I'm still stuck in the emotional turmoil and he replaced me right away and seems perfectly fine.

[@Sharon-cc7lq]

So now it's 7 months after your comment. Have u experienced any glimpses of what you are capable of processing without him throwing the darts at you. I know for me its been March if 2020 since I have been with my now ex. So close to 3 years later I can honestly say I am experiencing life from the inside out. Its been laced with so much sorrow and devistation I was far from seeing it as ever being a reality. Through learning who I could trust inspite of trusting no one, I have experienced healthy patterns that have stirred a hope for what my heart longs for. In a safe environment is where the lies are slowly replaced by what allows you to experience you. Hang on to what is bringing truth into your mind and heart.

[@martinlancaster5172]

The road is rough, but it will lead to a beautiful destination

[@ramelep]

You are bringing MASSIVE *HEALING* Thank you 🙏🏽 THANK YOU

[@chadandrews98]

Thanks. Yes I relate. After going no contact from a spiritual leader I am still ruminating a lot. Working on: understanding my own vulnerabilities and how to spot red flags with new people I meet.

[@wendywhite4929]

I really like your approach. You don’t have anger or spite towards the abuser and recognize the energetic and spiritual components. Thank you for your compassion and wisdom.

[@naturopath100]

After 40 years of marriage with a covert narc, I wonder if I ll ever stop missing the person I thought he was. It s been such a traumatic 15 months unravelling all the crappy moments and all the times I turned a blind eye. These creatures are truly demonic. All I ever did was try to love him and he gave me emotional unavailability. He created situations where I d have accidents, so he could be the good guy looking after me. No one in the family believes that he was abusive, because he smeared my character. This excused him for grooming another woman for months before he discarded me and left to be with her. We are divorced now and I told him to never cross my path again. Evil pure evil.

[@fayceedat670]

I am also married to him for 40yrs n thinking of leaving him..

[@kazdolphin1933]

Sounds like my x marriage

[@sprock4chick]

I’m so sorry 😞 I hope you’re ok now x

[@nishasingh5548]

Sounds like my story. Please be brave .

[@kimberlysvida3777]

Happy graduation to me! I’ve made it to the other side 🙏🏼🤗 after 2 years. To all the woman out there, you got this!💕

[@ab-kh4hm]

Took me 2 years also, and I never thought I'd get over that cruel liar, broke my heart over a fool.

[@joyciejd9673]

Great. I answered "yes" to 5 of 6. I am grateful for this video. I thought I was "muscling" my way through and I was beating myself up for faltering in my resolve to be done with my abuser now and then. Now I know what is going on and know I have more work to do. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

[@Reimidust]

Your videos saved me from moving in with a dangerous violent, angry narcissist , in the nick of time... I owe you so much, thank you so much for doing this.

[@naturopath100]

P.S. I think you have a rare talent for making things easily understood and you have been of great value to me as a counsellor. I am clearly still in the trauma bond. You offer such wise advice and comfort. I feel hopeful that my life will take a new and better direction. Thank you Christina.

[@spectry6]

Crying as I watched this video. Knowing this experience is normal. Thank you for this. 3 weeks since being discarded.

[@georgejgilles.3999]

This video helps me. I'm at this stage of my journey. This truly hurts my heart. I have chest pains and acne.

[@aminaww3446]

George J Gilles.: for the sake of your health and life please leave

[@65022785]

I ended the relationship, 1 week after , im experiencing chest pain and anxiety!!

[@ashleyash1016]

My ex and I broke up almost 3 years ago. We were both addicted to hard drugs . Spent 2 .5 years together. I have been delivered from addiction from drugs and alcohol. And have had a major spiritual growth spurt these last 3 sober years . But everything you outlined in this video described where I’m at . He broke ties with me . No closure . The hole in my soul that he left has been so hard to fix , until now ... thank you 🙏 I can see more clearly and have hope again

[@H0wlrunn3r]

Thank you for your videos. I just got permanently ghosted by my gf out of nowhere and it’s been weeks. The only thing I could get out of her was “oh no you’re imagining things it’s fine Ive just been super busy”. But trust me when I say we talked constantly for for 10 months without missing a single day. Last year we had a tiff and she wouldn’t let a full day go by without texting me so I know it used to be important to her. I put it to the test again a few weeks back but she just let it go. So I confronted her respectfully and just basically said “hey I know somethings wrong and if you have a problem please lets talk.” And then I got that response I mentioned. Watching all of your videos I understand now what happened. I was filling her cup while draining mine and in many ways she was a vampire and I was blind. My whole family tried to tell me to drop her for a year but I was so blind... Honestly what hurts me the most is that I recently had to put my pet to sleep and I regret so much that I chose to spent all my time with her rather then him in his last days. I’ll never forget that fact and all I can do now is use that emotion to propel me forward into making better decisions in the future...

[@SSW2488]

This was my story. I was dating this girl on & off for about a year. She would chase me till the end of the World, text me everyday and do it all. We recently broke up. She came back to me after a week of NC & then breaks it off again for the 2nd time by text after the first week of getting back together. Her excuse was that I wasn't giving her enough attention & she felt that she was the only one investing in the relationship. Before she broke it off we didn't talk for a day.. I felt she was being distant so I mirrored her actions, this obviously pissed her off & she retaliates by breaking up. Fyi she's very co-dependent, jealous, insecure, has a promiscuous past & always thinks I'm cheating when I'm not. I never chased her when she pulls a drama stunt like this. Am always mirroring her actions, never needy & always mysterious. I am moving on, just in shock & clueless at what happened...

[@H0wlrunn3r]

S S Yep I’m right there with you all the way. Mirroring their actions often times triggers them to blame you and accuse you of the very thing that they are doing. The mental gymnastics you have to perform just to figure out who and what they really are is the biggest obstacle to healing but once you have a bead on them you can start to predict their actions. It’s been a couple weeks of no contact by me and she hasn’t once tried to reach out to me or check to see if I’m OK. That says a lot to me. That tells me she’s either waiting, or really just didn’t care as much as she led me to believe. My friends and family honestly believe she used me. I didn’t want to believe that but now she’s basically proved them right without saying a word. Even weeks later it still hurts but I’ve begun the process of healing and I am determined to never let her back into my life. She almost destroyed mine.

[@manansala2oh1]

This help make all the sense to not go back. Thank you. It’s easy to say just have no contact but knowing there’s a science behind the way I feel it helps make sense of everything.

[@Mike-xt2lh]

Common Ego and Lover Over Narcissism be spitting 🔥🔥🔥 fire Bam 💥!!!

[@joelaustin5408]

The Trauma Bond is a sort of matrix that holds us captive. Unplugging (healing) is the red pill we must take.