6 Unattractive Things Men Do On Dates (From A Woman's Perspective)

[@CourtneyRyan]

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[@slimgardelapeche7332]

avec la grosse créme ça va bien en profondeur

[@Noodur1]

I will never buy this company’s products because they’re so ubiquitous and pushy with their KZbin sponsorships.

[@ligh7foo7]

Not being rude or mean but I didn't realise how much effort you put in before making a video. Instead of just giving out my number should I include a time and place on the invite

[@ligh7foo7]

​@@Noodur1good product, used for a few years, though the customer satisfaction department dropped during COVID, I was missing an AM moisturizer and instead of fixing the issue they whinges and sent me 7 PM moisturisers.

[@Acess-1bx]

🧠💮🤍📌Love This Excellent Courtney Astonishments Allurements Video Made By yu This evening, i Love it!!! Soo much Soo Far Sooo Nice.🙌🏻😘😙💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮

[@oza1302]

The No Initiative thing. It is VERY unattractive to me when a woman wants a man to initiate but they NEVER initiate anything themselves. This irritates me to no end. We take on all the vulnerability and risk with our decision of where to go on a date, how fast the relationship should develop, when to be intimate, financial matters, etc. I mean, I certainly don't even think it has to be 50/50. As a matter of fact, not even 90/10. Just don't hold me accountable to making EVERY decision and having EVERY failure come back on my shoulders in the relationship. It's a two way street...do something! And great video Courtney!

[@JACQUEZ23]

Just say u don't like nice guys that's simple we know u shallow

[@NickVennlig]

@@JACQUEZ23 Read it again buddy, it's a man talking about a woman.

[@JACQUEZ23]

@@NickVennlig my point still stands just reverse

[@NickVennlig]

@@JACQUEZ23 Gotcha my bad

[@JACQUEZ23]

@@DDD11239 when u go insults instead on counter point by statement u already lost

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

Don’t show up late on the date and act like it’s no big deal. Don’t Be on your phone.

[@db1777]

That's advice that should apply to women.

[@MrSomsoc]

Too dressed up on both sides is too stressful. You want to be comfortable, but also be able to improvise to something more active and being too dressed up isn't compatible with that. @CourtneyRyan, we wouldn't care if you are in your pajamas. We appreciate your ideas and personality.

[@maryamadedeji24]

@@MrSomsoc really men don’t care about appearance?🧐Not even on the base level? isn’t how a woman presenting herself, isn’t that a reflection of her?

[@miepmiep3017]

@@maryamadedeji24 Always strange how one person speaks for the entire gender. Some guys would dump you if you showed up in rags.

[@MrSomsoc]

@@maryamadedeji24 yes, it is a reflection of herself like you said; however, if you are doing too much it will come out as you being too much. Also, it helps us that you are comfortable with what you are wearing and your own skin, we will be able to relax. I will explain it in two situations that I had: - First situation: I invited a girl that I matched on Hinge for dinner at a restaurant that was in a mall, not a fancy restaurant so I tell her that there isn't a need to dress up. She kinda of "fights" me on that but let's go for a week. About 2 days before the dinner, she sent me messages saying that I needed to move the reservation because she wouldn't have time to get to her home, dress up, and get to the restaurant. I told her that she didn't need to dress up as it wasn't that type of restaurant and any comfortable clothes would do. *Note: I was counting that if the dinner went well, we could do something else in the mall (like arcade or go-kart in another nearby mall area)*. I moved the reservation up because I wanted to go to the restaurant. On the day of the dinner, she sends me a couple of messages saying that I now need to pick her up at her place. Long story short, the date didn't happen. As you can see, her wanting to dress up was just the tip of the iceberg. - Second situation: It is Summer time, I checked the weather and it is going to be a hot and humid day. I tell her that our best bet is to be indoors and have comfortable breathable clothes just in case we decide to be outside, she agrees with my decision (she also will be coming from grad school, so she wouldn't have time for anything dressy). We go to a "fancier" restaurant than the first situation. She gets self-conscious when she sees the waiter/server dressed with a shirt, vest, and dress pants. I tell her that they are old school and people will be pouring in wearing whatever (and they did, there was a portion of the restaurant where there were people wearing American football jerseys). She relaxed and we had a great time. The date ended after the dinner because she had a final next week, but otherwise she was dressed appropriately for whatever.

[@chrismoore9997]

Too many women expect the man to do everything and do it all perfectly. How about women need to give a little instead of expecting so much.

[@awadsharif245]

It should be an effort on both sides. If she doesn't do the same, it's a turnoff for us too.

[@runesighter1023]

Women don't choose what behaviors they find unattractive, unfortunately.

[@danjenkins21]

Sounds like the best thing to do is stay single. Women do indeed expect too much from a man.

[@DudeGuy82]

THIS! Omg.... women: "I want a man who can communicate" Women: No idea how to hold a conversation with a stranger.

[@kenbellchambers4577]

Like paying half the bill would be nice.

[@TheSnugsterr]

I hate that a lot of dating advice for men often boils down to "Dance monkey, dance!" Be confident, but not cocky. Be assertive but not controlling. Be emotionally open but never weak. Be charismatic & entertaining, but not a clown. Persistently pursue, but play it aloof. Speak your desires, but don't be needy. Be romantic, but not a simp. Be open, but remain mysterious. Just be yourself.... Unless yourself isn't a confident, charismatic, driven, out-going, funny, intelligent,& fit guy. Having a great, interesting career and making bank helps a bit too. It's just that easy, bro.

[@Slashco]

The truth is much simpler. If you have looks, money and status none of that other shit matters as much. The dudes who get the most women typically are self-absorbed and don't even care what women think.

[@calebwallace9589]

Damn, I feel this. For those deeply introspective men, those strong men of virtue who repeatedly put themselves out there, always upholding their standards, working their asses off to become capable, fit (trains martial arts, etc.), wealthy, well-rounded culturally, and yet still emotionally available, only to be repeatedly broken ... this hits home.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Yes, and in response she brings...? F all.

[@daviddriscoll330]

You forgot "be 6 feet tall".

[@osamaal-humaimidi1481]

They're literally asking you to be a normal human being with a splash of your own unique personality I don't understand what's so difficult about it And take this coming from a guy - Normal assertiveness and confidence are traits that every man should learn, you're a man, usually men take the lead in relationships - emotional openness = emotional intelligence - don't be needy, you're not a pet, you have to be content on your own All other traits are just secondary stuff that makes the relationship fun, the mystery the persistence, etc

[@snoobeagle]

1. Being non-reciprocal -not allowing your date to talk about herself -whole point of a date is getting to know each other -consider asking the same question back once you have answered 2. Lack of effort on appearance -avoid wrinkles in clothing -take a shower, observe hygiene 3. Taking no initiative -not planning out the date -not doing your part in the conversations -can be a sign of how you run your life 4. Rushing the relationship -don't make "we statements" too early, use "I" -showering with gifts early in the relationship 5. Talking about your ex -if asked, make it short, and positive 6. Being under the influence (intoxicants) -you want to be in control of yourself so you can learn about your date Bonus: Being overly sexual in conversation too early.

[@garykeith1048]

Right on. Be cool. Don't be overly sexual don't be intoxicated and respect the woman's boundaries. I won't even talk about sex. It will come naturally if the girl connects with you emotionally/ spiritually/physically.

[@ghostsade3]

Only thing is that about your ex, she said keep it neutral and short, not positive. Small difference but I think any bit helps.

[@kevinscott59]

Thanks for saving us time

[@Lorde_Nanners23]

Hey Courtney, This comment is more of a generalization of all your videos, not specifically this one, but just to start I want to say thank you for pursuing this type of content. Your presentation is elaborate and thoughtful, and your information is delivered concisely. Whats great is that your videos opened an opportunity to not just be prepared going into new dates/meeting new people. Instead allow me to reflect on past interactions that didn’t work out, and understand why my actions could have contributed to the end result. Thanks for having that older sister wisdom for those that did not have that exposure. I feel as if I have a deeper understanding of women and their individual perspective on dating, as well as a better idea of who I am, and actively working (mentally and physically) toward that better version I see myself as. Thanks!

[@andrewtrotter9023]

I talked to a lady recently who said a guy showed up for a first dinner date wearing a camo t-shirt, board shorts and Crocs and no socks. Unless it was to a water park or a boat ride, how does a grown man not know how to dress for a first date?

[@purpurina5663]

I agree -but I wouldn't want someone to fake caring for a first date. What I mean is I find depressing that a man would dress like that any day except on a Sunday to do housework.

[@treehouse8501]

I would definitely consider that trolling lol

[@ShyMplsMale]

Who goes on dinner dates for the first date. That's the first mistake.

[@andrewtrotter9023]

@@ShyMplsMale I agree now, but it took me a while to learn that lesson. I was with the same woman from 19 to 45 so I was out of the dating game for 26 years. When I jumped back in I was kind of still in high school mode where you think you have to impress a girl. I’m all for quick coffee or a drink first dates or something casual and inexpensive now, of course, since I know better!

[@thesilentknight4554]

Was it Mark Zuckerberg?🤣🤣

[@sammogaming9732]

Very good video! Yesterday I went on a date with a girl I met on a dating app. It was a walk on a trail and went so good. We both are very active so doing this as a first date was perfect. We weren’t on our phones except for a few pictures of the wildlife. Talking with her was like a breath of fresh air. I went through a bad breakup earlier this year and your videos have helped me tremendously. So thank you for that! Much love

[@siliyemoodislam]

The huge unattractive mistake is not to trim your nose and ear hairs . Smallest details can ruin your style. Plus, stop making noises when eating.

[@treehouse8501]

And this gets worse as you age lol I cannot believe how much I have to pluck off my ears and nose, even the outside of my nose! The barber even trims my ears up with the trimmers.

[@MetalHead-xq9on]

For your meal if you want to make things easier on you pick something that’s not gonna splash around and get on your clothes don’t get the pasta with marinara sauce get something that’s already cut into small bites that you can just take your fork and pick it with, and to effectively chew your food, without the risk of seeming like you have no manners This is a little secret of mine from going on many dates for your first date find something that’s easy to eat with your fork!!

[@siliyemoodislam]

@@MetalHead-xq9on great point. Plus, pasta makes you heavy and sleepy afterward. Not a good choice if you want to stay sharp and excited on your date.

[@MetalHead-xq9on]

@@siliyemoodislam Yup this is why barbecue ribs on a first date is not cool unless she’s OK with it If she’s a girl that can get messy eating barbecue ribs on the first date drink beer with you and kiss you passionately after she’s wife material

[@subspace666]

not sure what kind of noise when eating your talking about but if its not the normal rude noises, then your the one with a mental disorder that is bothered by it. and its not something you can realistically control. my brother in law had this disorder as well he was annoyed by my sister eating noises.

[@Nierlock]

To point 1. I once had a date with a chick where it was like pulling teeth to get anything out of her and she barely asked me anything. So I assumed she wasn’t into me. Later she asked me why we didn’t do more on the date or hook up. I was like bruh, you seemed completely uninterested 😂

[@kenbellchambers4577]

Try to avoid dating your brother even if she is sexy. Also don't date a dentist.

[@shithawk89]

I've had the same experience and it was very confusing to me. I guess she just wanted me to whip it out and stop talking ?

[@Criner05]

All of these also apply to women. Being non-reciprocal was a big reason why I broke up with the last woman I dated. She was the easiest person to talk to, but not with.

[@Pacowaka4045]

Went on date #2 with a person who only talked about themselves. The second date was in hopes that she would ask me things or want to learn about me, but nope. She is incredibly sweet, and I love sitting and listening to others, but it felt very one sided. Ended up just being friends.

[@SeekerGoOn2013]

I’ve been a good listener for a long time. Being introverted, it’s a good way to show interest and to have topics to go back and forth on. Be careful, though. If she never asks about you; Red Flag 🚩 If you don’t offer at least *some* input and opinions she won’t get to know YOU.

[@johnzywko5885]

Becoming true friends is harder because that’s the real deal and relaxing being yourself pulls it together…just have fun, enjoy meeting someone new and getting away from the same old, same old life..there are so many things to talk about in todays world.

[@kenbellchambers4577]

I tried that, but she left when I told her I enjoyed nude hiking in heavy traffic.

[@johnzywko5885]

@@kenbellchambers4577 TV series on your humor….love it

[@kenbellchambers4577]

@@johnzywko5885 Thanks John, it's either that or deep depression.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Yes, straight to the Friend Zone. 😆

[@niallk9336]

In the 1980s, sure. Today this just gets you 'zoned. You _have_ to mix in physical touch on the first date. If she doesn't respond, walk... she just wants an orbiter to mooch off of.

[@TheSaiyanKing]

Regarding the ex part, I would only ask the reason why they broke up, mainly because I want to avoid cheaters. But I wouldn't ask that on a first date though.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Definitely wise not to get into ex talk on the first date. I also want to avoid cheaters, as my last one was, and I don't know when I'll be ready to date again because of it. Even though I did address cheating somewhere early on, and made sure to establish I never had, and that loyalty and fidelity was a crucial quality for me, I failed to discern the dodge. Looking back to when he did start cheating in the last of our 10 years, he had never answered me directly. he had a very cagey way of lying. It was definitely deceptive, but he had usually avoided directly lying in the early years. He was fully capable of lying right to my face, while looking me in the eye at the end, and probably before. Watch out for that. If you ask them a direct question, see it as a red flag if they don't really answer you directly.

[@jonprince3237]

Do you really feel that someone would tell you if the reason their last relationship ended was because they'd cheated on their partner? I'd almost admire that sort of catastrophic honesty.

[@NilsDavila]

Honestly I’m at a point right now where I’m really just focusing on myself. I realized that I have a lot self limiting beliefs and that if I want true happiness and wealth I need to change my mindset and habits. I don’t have to do any of that but I’m starting to want to.I’m starting to see that there are other possibilities for life and that I don’t have to be a prisoner of my own mind and environment. And I’ll start dating when I feel that I’m in a better place both mentally and Physically.Enough said

[@LinkinVoider]

The talking about your ex is a good one for both of men and women, I've had multiple women talking bad about ex's or past experiences they had with other men on a first date that portraid the man in a bad way and it always provokes the eye-roll reaction. Blaming everything on the other person is a pretty big red flag.

[@spencer_jackson542]

Talking about your sex life really loud or asking me about mine in public is unattractive. A woman did this to me and people in the restaurant were turning around and staring at us lol

[@enemyofthestatewearein7945]

Going on about your sex life full stop, or demanding to know about mine. Yuck, just stop. Yes we all have history, but I don't need to hear about it. I've consistently found that women do this in an attempt to create competition anxiety, oblivious to the fact that men actually find it repulsive.

[@kenbellchambers4577]

On one date I said really loud, 'How soon do we root, this costing me a fortune!'

[@BWater-yq3jx]

I'm sure there were other unattractive things about her, based on that indicator.

[@tonymcgee1146]

I dated a girl who talked about her ex-husband all the time, never a day went by without her invoking his name. I told her I could not go on and bailed out.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

That's wise, because she clearly wasn't over him.

[@notsorandumusername]

Any woman who does this must be ditched immediately. You made the correct decision.

[@ablazindevilhead]

I agree with the asking questions part. Recently, I met up with someone and I felt I was doing all the talking even after asking her questions. Her answers were quick and short. She later admitted that she was nervous and shy. But we had good text chemistry, but not so much live chemistry. In the end I was put of by her not asking questions or ignoring my direct questions. It just told me she wasn't really interested in knowing about me. In the end, we just concluded that we weren't compatible. And I appreciated the fact she was honest about it instead of dragging it out. I think it's something we both learned to take care of right away from our previous marriages.

[@generalursus83]

I remember constantly dealing with women who were non-reciprocal while messaging on online dating sites. They would click the like button on my profile, but anytime I would try to get a conversation going with them I would get short one word answers.

[@VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM]

Join the club, that's usually how it is unless you're the top percentage of man. Once in a while you'll get someone new on there and is totally interested and you'll have fun chatting, but then they get 500 more matches and they now can't ever think of going back to you with so many choices. Or you get a great conversation going and later you find out she's now like 4/10 instead of her older photos where she looks at least a 6/10.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Cos they clicked 'like' before they found someone they liked better. And by the time you got back to them, they were flat-out juggling hot-dogs like a circus clown on a c*ck carousel.

[@boegynous]

It's possible they did like you but were nervous. My girlfriend was like that the first month that we talked. You need to be firm enough to say "I can see you don't feel like talking right now" then give her an option to talk person-to-person. If she doesn't accept, move on like she didn't exist.

[@RafaelGringo]

It all boils down to what you choose to bring to the conversation. There are a lot of girls who will be silent mode no matter how cool your messages are, but most of them just want the conversation to be exciting. Don't expect them to answer with excitement (or give you an answer at all) to the same questions she was asked literally a hundred times. Tease her a little, make assumptions, take risks. All these applies to both online or real date. Even if you're a 10/10, most girls will eventually get bored after a while if you don't make an effort.

[@charlie5thumbs351]

That's very common. Many women use the dating apps for validation with no real intention of dating seriously.

[@JackGordon86]

Can't tell you how often the girl I go on a first date with starts talking about their ex first. The record time was 15 minutes into the date. Like she's on a damned therapy session. More often than not, that is usually red flag number one and it's likely downhill from there.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

It is a big red flag and people are more prone to it when they are young. I also suspect women do it more than men, because women are much more open to talking about problems than men are. I was very guilty of this when young. I remember being very taken aback on a first date when a man shut me right down for rambling on about my ex. He kindly but firmly told me that I clearly wasn't over my ex and that he couldn't date someone who could potentially go back to them when they clearly weren't over them. He further told me that I was open to contacting him in the future if I did get past it, but that he wanted a relationship w/ a clean slate. That was the gist of it. Though I was taken aback and denied it at the time, he was of course absolutely right. I admire that guy. Don't remember much about him, but I sure do remember his just taking the bull by the horns and shutting that nonsense down.

[@VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM]

I actually like to hear about that stuff. I find it interesting to know where she is coming from, where she's at on all that, and how she feels about those things now. It can tell you a lot about her. They really like to open up about it and it gets them talking if you ask them. But I won't usually bring it up on the first date. First date is for simple fun, but if she does I'm totally fine with it. I realize I'm not the norm on that though. But it's amazing how many women just need to talk and need to get those things out and have someone hear it. If you can handle it, it's not really a bad thing. And at least it means you know and all this stuff isn't seething underneath with her putting on a facade. The problem comes though is you can't tell them about your past, because it's not reciprocal, they love to talk about theirs, but if YOU do, they bolt. One of the many messed up double standards of women.

[@RS-xo7rd]

I had a date with a woman who told me all about her guy friends, particularly about one who told her how many of the women he met from dating sites wanted sex on the first date. I was a bit slow picking up on this, but I should have asked her if that was an appropriate conversation to have with a so-called 'friend' of the opposite sex. Needless to say, although I liked the woman, I regretfully called it a day; a pity.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@RS-xo7rd I'd say the bigger question is, why is she bringing up sexual talk on her first day w/ you? If I'm looking for an actual relationship, I dont' want man trying to steer the convo to any sexual talk and I sure am not going to bring it up. I don't see too much wrong w/ being open about that w/ a male friend, as men can find a platonic lady friend a good outlet to talk about things they might not w/ other men. Pretty harmless there, as long as there's nothing simmering under the surface, which I guess you suspected there might be.

[@RafaelGringo]

I really don't mind when they talk about past relationships unless they're fixated by it and brings the topic every now and then. Then, yes, it's annoying and a BIG red flag to me.

[@sm5574]

If you are observant and you educate yourself on a wide range of topics, you will find that conversation is much easier because you're more likely to have a little knowledge about the things your date talks about. If you have a little knowledge, then you know enough to ask intelligent questions. For example: Date: "I drive a jeep." You: "Oh! I've noticed a lot of jeeps have plastic ducks on the dashboard. What's that about?" It really is that easy. Just pay attention to the world around you, and learn to be curious, even about things you don't like.

[@clarkkent6927]

Where I live KY i see that a lot of jeep has these ducks what the meaning?

[@kenbellchambers4577]

The duck is so you have someone to talk to while waiting for the mechanic. I once dated a very pretty duck. She was an absolute quacker.

[@clarkkent6927]

@@kenbellchambers4577 thanks now I know

[@kenbellchambers4577]

@@clarkkent6927 But do you know enough to not buy a Jeep?

[@clarkkent6927]

@@kenbellchambers4577 yeah I seen video on that buying a jeep is not a good idea but I would like to hear your thoughts on it

[@ferrarriohh]

I'm 47 this year, and I dated a lot over the years. I'll probably never go on another "date" again. Over time, I've come to realize I always sought out "new & interesting women" but there were several women I already knew I should have gotten to know better outside of these stupid rituals of eating and/or drinking together. Find actual mutual interests 1st: a hobby, appreciation for certain activities like seeing a movie, or bicycling, or exercise, or visiting an actual destination like a riverwalk area. If it happens to include getting some sort of food or drink along the way: go ahead and pick up coffee or ice cream. But seriously: entirely skip the whole interview-meal process, which is just awkward.

[@Agencetourix]

If it feels like an interview, you're doing it wrong.

[@kevinbradshaw6127]

The last date I went on , the girl told me I was very clean for a guy who works construction and she loved the aftershave ( Versace Dylan blue) I was wearing and in my head I was like that's all from the guidance of Courtney Ryan, it pays off

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Sweet, and glad that worked out. Some of us are allergic though, but in my younger days when I wasn't, I did appreciate a man who smelled good.

[@kenbellchambers4577]

Did she do a thorough inspection in the cloak room?

[@michaelcdarby]

Courtney, I want to thank you for all the advice you have given me through your videos. I finally approached this girl that I’ve seen for awhile and had a great conversation with her. At the end i asked for her number but she said she had a boyfriend but that she really appreciated me approaching her. I never would have been able to do it without learning what I should do through your videos. You are a great teacher!

[@MarvelMTs]

Hi Courtney! Rushing the relationship is exactly my biggest mistake with my ex-fiancé. Way too little time between first date and proposing, I did too much heart-think and not enough head-think. She should have told me to slow down, but she didn’t. At least the massive heartbreak made sure I got the message crystal clear. I’m gonna take countermeasures to stop that whenever I date a new girl.

[@Bombadil-ez9ns]

She could have also said NO when you proposed.

[@katherinew1366]

Date MULTIPLE WOMEN at the same time. There, problem solved.

[@youaccreteme6422]

A big turn off is when a woman expects dinner on the first date. Or if we go on multiple dates and she doesn't offer to pay once

[@jejo63660]

The single best advice I ever got for dating as a man was to talk half as much as I would want to and ask twice as many questions as I would want to. And if a woman ever said during the date “Oh wow, I feel bad that been talking about myself the whole time,” those dates have been successful and led to follow ups 100% of the time.

[@johngonzalez4298]

Well said, Courtney!

[@teddychalgren]

As always, great info! Another item for the list, turn off your mobile devices. Thanks Courtney, you are saving humanity, one great video at a time.

[@lanamuir9352]

I love asking questions when I am on a first date......here are some examples. Instead of asking "what do you do for a living?", I ask "so tell me, what profession has the honour of calling you one of its own?". "How long have you had such good taste in men's fashion?" "If you could have dinner with your role model, who would that person be?". "Tell me about the funniest thing your mother or father ever did?". "What scares you the most?". I could go on and on. Dating should not be an interview, it should be an exchange of information in a fun and relaxed way. Trust me, it works!

[@cymbergan]

Number two, one of my exes needs to work on. As far as five, I need to NOT fall into that trap after my first two exes wanted me to talk about my past.

[@Araz907]

You mention in this video you don’t drink - neither do I, and as a guy in my early 20s I find it tough to find activities/events that don’t involve alcohol to some degree. I’m totally comfortable being around people that are drinking, but it’s just not my scene. Any advice on where I can find like-minded people?

[@NapkinNexter]

I’ll share my opinion on this one. You can try a hobby which has a lot of women in it. One of my friends met his wife in a sewing club. You could also try to ask a female that you know if she could find someone for you.

[@garrissonwebb1207]

As someone who drinks in moderation, I think you were being generous by saying “no more than 2-3 drinks on a first date”. I have one glass of white and I’m already tipsy… I’d never drink out on a date or just by myself. I wouldn’t be able to drive back home safe.

[@maxwillson]

Even worse is when your date asks you a question about yourself and they seem to hate your answer. That is the biggest turn off for me. This happened to the previous woman I dated. She seemed to hate everything about me, which was weird because we had a really good first date. I guess she didn't listen to a word I said in the first date.

[@ben_spiller]

How do you know she hated everything about you?

[@maxwillson]

@@ben_spiller I can just tell by her response and eye rolling.

[@angrybatarian]

I went to a speed dating event recently. What I noticed is that pretty much all the women not only put an effort into their appearance, but they were all on the same line in terms of formality (i.e. not too much, not too little). The men on the other hand were all over the place. One wore a suit, another a cargo pants with a t-shirt. One looked like an IT employee coming straight from work. I heard from a match afterwards that the questions were uninspiring (I can imagine having to explain your work / origin over 15 times to be annoying). Because there was a bit of a queue (some ladies left midway) I could also talk to the guys, and it tended to be very dry, I wish guys in general would put some more thought into the setting and environment and not at the last minute. And a lot of the guys were anything but local.

[@lawrence31415]

I'm planning to give speed dating a try at some point. That's cool that you got a match! What would you say are some of the pros and cons of your experience?

[@kenbellchambers4577]

Blame Obummer for the open borders.

[@daniellehotsky1776]

Why would you wish that from another guys? Better for you. :) They don't know, you do.

[@DDD11239]

​@@lawrence31415 Why? You won't get a wife from speed dating. 30-second conversations are useless.

[@lawrence31415]

@@DDD11239 I never said I was going to use speed dating to look for a wife or girlfriend; though I will admit that it would be super nice if I happened to meet her then and there. I am simply adding speed dating to my list of ways of putting myself out there. Is it safe to assume you did not have a good experience with speed dating, and if so, please share some details?

[@ddavisgaming]

Courtney always making videos and asking questions that really make you self-reflect and improve your quality as a person.

[@kenbellchambers4577]

Every time I self-reflect the mirror fogs up.

[@FChen17213]

Biggest turnoffs I think I see a lot are putting in 0 effort, playing on their phone, and treating the date like an interview. It’s like the person is so full of themselves they are asking you questions like, “why am I wasting my time with you? What did you do to deserve my precious time?”

[@DontSpySpying]

Thats autism

[@VideoGameRoom32]

First impression is so important. It can take a lot for person to change their opinion about you on a second date if you have a bad first impression

[@kenbellchambers4577]

True, but a facelift costs a fortune.

[@NateEll]

On a first date I was told that if we get married she knows a really nice wedding venue. I was really shocked about that.

[@grants5383]

I cannot unhear the midwest accent! I have it too but didn't realize it until I moved

[@Matt_is_a_Boring_Name]

Totally agree. I think the one I've experienced the most on the other side would be talking about exes. At some point it's good to share past experiences as you get to know someone but the first few dates is not ideal. I've also been on the other side of the "talking too much" date where my date has asked me non-stop questions and hasn't really answered any questions in return, or turn it back into another question immediately. It's a date, not an interrogation 😅

[@AlexWhitey-jb9dj]

I have been guilty of all of these things in the past. However, although I haven't mastered my ways, they have improved and as a result, interactions have improved. I am still learning from all of the interaction and want to learn more, as we all should do...

[@dylancooper3690]

6:44 When you say "take things slow", if a man doesn't go for a kiss at the end of the first date, don't women react negatively to that? Wouldn't not going for the kiss also be "not taking the initiative" ?

[@High5748]

One of the good things about dating apps or however you met online is you can get the ice breaker conversations out of the way. This way you can think up of different questions or something you learned about her to try to re spark a conversation if the date goes cold. It's better to play chess then checkers when your on a date.

[@davidduff9871]

These are all very good points and do make a difference. The “nice guys,” the innocent ones have been on so few dates, if they can make a reservation, get dressed, and be on time they are way beyond their expectations and previous best.

[@dylancooper3690]

Could you do a video with tips on how to make the first move and looking for those subtle hints that women give? Like, this is what you do if you're out for a walk, if you're in a bar, if you're out to dinner, or at a concert. A how-to video with a step-by-step process would be very helpful. I am clueless on picking up cues from women.

[@DDD11239]

Don't date someone in a bar. Don't go to bars.

[@Novaximus]

I know we're talking first dates here. But when I'm eating out and I take a look around the restaurant I always notice most people are eating in silence and listening in on other people's table conversations.

[@tommygunn6901]

Gents, Take this advice and save money by not go to just any dating coach, especially those that are still single. And shut up about the ex. I was immediately turned off by one girl who rambled about an ex and past flings. Never bothered even talking to her again

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Nor should you. Girl sounded frivilous and not at all ready to settle down. If you know that's what you want, you want to see every sign that they want that too.

[@tommygunn6901]

@@saintejeannedarc9460 100% and I guarantee she's still single to this day but plays that hot cold game. I can go on and on and expose the truth, but I get nothing out of it

[@DDD11239]

Never pay any "Coach," as all advice can be found for free, in books.

[@MrGilperc]

Thanks for a very informative, well thought-out video. Everything is basically laid out to make your date successful. Also, thank you the Tiege Hanley link. I've been thinking about it for a while and the discount just makes it a no-brainer.

[@ed5308]

I was in customer relations for twenty five years. I know how to communicate with women. What is the problem? I do not want to dress up, plan the date, drive to the date, make conversation, PAY for the date, see how the women is liking or not liking me. I admit I am to old to date anymore. Its no fun and I am not interested enough to make an effort for modern women. I stay home and count my CD money accumulating in my bank accounts ( I said it accounts ). Drizzle Drizzle.

[@andersnielsen6044]

Who cares?

[@peterc-ill9837]

In the absence of any obvious red flags or deal breakers, if you're just not feeling particularly into the other person, how often should you meet and how much time should you spend with them in order to forestall the criticism that you were, once again, too quick to reject and didn't make enough of an effort to get to know them?

[@harrylong4941]

Stay off the phone

[@SOULMAN641]

I agree. Being chronically on their phone during the date is an enormous turn off.

[@VelcroKittie]

I'm only setting foot back into the world of dating having been married for 16 years. I had no idea this was actually a thing! Why in the world would anybody be on their phone during a date? Absolutely bonkers

[@SOULMAN641]

@@VelcroKittie Unfortunately it happens.

[@georgewiel]

Thanks, Courtney. Wishing you a pleasurable Sunday.

[@lawrence31415]

Hey Courtney! I'm planning to give speed dating a try in the near future, so this video will also be helpful in a setting where the time constraint is tight!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Oooh this is such a good topic!

[@genshinsage]

Speed dating dont work. Dont waste your time

[@albundy7794]

As someone who's tried speed dating, please waste your time elsewhere.

[@lawrence31415]

@@CourtneyRyan I'm not sure if you ever tried speed dating, but I'm sure you have some solid input to share in a future video!

[@lawrence31415]

@@genshinsage sorry to hear if speed dating did not work for you, but you are more than welcome to share things that did for work you

[@LoveFootballOnHD]

I'm actually listening to these videos in big detail at the moment

[@MMorellat]

Lots of information to take in. Dress for success is one I struggle with. I'm 41, and still need my younger sisters to pick out clothes for me. Apparently an orange rain suit, with hi vis tape, is not acceptable to wear to church. Or a wedding. Or a funeral. I have the opposite problem with talking about myself. I usually freeze when asked about myself, or my past. Or my answer is "my goal in life, is to pet all the friendly dogs in Churchill. And give them neck and belly scratches." Anyway, thanks for all your videos. Sending a virtual Mark hug.

[@MrMediterrano]

The questions the answers of which would interest us, are the questions which you ladies would either refuse to answer or would answer by lying.

[@larsf.4756]

Quite frankly, I would avoid alcohol altogether on a date. Not only may it be unattractive, it may cloud your own judgement.

[@keppscrossing]

To me, one drink is a red flag. Not being judgmental, I have plenty of friends who drink, and enjoy hanging with them. But alcohol is not compatible with my life, so nobody who has a chance at sharing my life with me will drink.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@keppscrossing I love that. Hard to find a non drinker though. I can get by w/ a light drinker, who enjoys it occasionally and in light amounts.

[@drake6800]

@@keppscrossingnothing wrong with one drink. Lighten up and have some fun

[@aaronharlow2137]

@@keppscrossing same. I quit drinking, no interest in that life anymore.

[@kenbellchambers4577]

Also, it is a fire hazard. That is why I wear gumboots and bring my hose.

[@Mac_Kymera]

I am more than happy for my date to talk all evening and let her talk about things that make her happy. My questions will get her to open up more. This will show her that I’m a good listener and I am happy for her to talk more about her life because I am interested. I will try to keep my questions and my own life to a minimum to keep the mystery about me intact so she has to date me again to know more about me.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Interesting approach. They say that most people are easily led to talk about themselves. Not all are though if they are really shy. Had a pretty soild relationship for 6 years, but he was very shy, so conversation was very strained and I had to carry most of it. I want to hear about the other too. I do have empathy for shy people though, so I did give it more time and he had a wonderfully sly sense of humour and could be great fun, once you got past the introversion and shyness.

[@JeffRyan-or1sp]

A woman that tells you money isnt everything or looks aren't either is just lying to you.

[@Dreykopff]

What about asking about their exes though? It's kinda relevant to know a bit about how those past relationships were established and broken up in order to figure out whether we align in values and such. Like, seriously no point in dating someone who would just say "I dumped him because the quantity of nights out he organized for me became less".

[@poeticeclipse]

That’s not first or even second date conversation

[@generalursus83]

Lack of effort into appearance is a real pet peeve of mine. The whole "Walmart shopper" look is really getting out of control everywhere and shows people have an "I don't care" attitude about a lot of things.

[@pace1195]

Oh, c'mon. The Walmartian look is fashion's greatest trend. It's trailer park chic. True story (not a date), I saw a woman wearing a tank top with the word "beautiful" across the chest and yoga pants with "juicy" across the back side. She was neither.

[@PoeTréAloisio]

​@@pace1195🤣 She was neither nor

[@Sidewalkman1]

That's true about the ex. I dated a girl who always talked about her ex or other guys. So I decided to be petty and start talking about other girls, and she...was not happy about it and stopped seeing me after that.

[@dhanrajmohan701]

Great information Ms Courtney ❤

[@aaronharlow2137]

Talking about your ex can be hard to avoid sometimes (especially in my case, where a child is involved). It can actually be helpful, if done right. I've done it just to give the woman I'd be dating examples or an idea of how I handle things in relationships, not to gripe about the awful things she's done. I've already forgiven her, but I have learned things from that relationship that can help future ones. Conveying that you've grown from that relationshp is a plus.

[@rumrunner8019]

8:58 is so true, for men and women. That's why I like to take women to afternoon High Tea for a first date, so that we can have a nice time without alcohol involved.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

If that was Canada, then a traditional tea is very expensive. At least $30 a head, but that's likely because it's a novelty here. Maybe it's econonical if you're in the UK. An alternative to that is to offer a brunch, if you prefer some sort of food date (which I can understand some do, since it's a good ice breaker). Brunch isn't too early and easier on the wallet. If she (or he) orders a Mimosa, then you know they are far too attached to alchohol.

[@Ross-p6x]

Talking about your ex. That's in the 'not applicable' box for me😂

[@aolvaar8792]

How about deceased spouses.

[@DDD11239]

​@@aolvaar8792 No. She's most likely imagining her dead spouse during bedroom activities with you.

[@Andy-2022]

Everything you said is spot on

[@DrakebadassOvO]

Thank you so much for this im so ready to take all this advice when i someday meet my partner !

[@spirit-smithentertainment-89]

1. Being Non-Reciprocal - Yeah, I can agree on this one. 2. Lack of effort into appearance. - I agree that if you’re going to be like meeting a friend or if you’re just meeting like someone to potentially date always make sure to aware the right type of clothes never wear rugged clothes like for me for example I’m trying to wear more like fancy clothes that say like hey I’m I’m ready for today and I am not wearing rugged clothes because if I wear rugged clothes that’s only like if I’m gonna go out with friends, but if it’s not friends and if it’s not family, then try to be a little bit more well more put together by the clothes that I choose. I usually like grab like a button up shirt and then I put the tie on and then I usually bring like bring like another Jacket that has like a few buttons that are on it that I put on as well with some formal looking black gene like pants that usually help to make my appearance look good like when I’m at my film school. 3. Taking Initiative. - That’s what I do the best I can by taking initiative by trying to like finding the appropriate place to go to like for our date so it was a surprise because I didn’t exactly want her to know right away where we were headed so she got there. She was surprised but not too surprised either maybe I need to try a little harder next time, and save amount of money from recycling alone that didn’t seem to be enough to cover the date so I had to use the extra money that I was given ahead of time somebody else that had facilitated to get me down to the restaurant in terms of transportation and yes, I know that sounds really bluntly like I cannot be independent but some people have to work with what they work with and I’m not gonna be putting myself down, but I know other people would say differently otherwise. 4. Being Under The Influence. - Now there is nothing wrong to have a romantic date but don’t have to much wine either because others may struggle w/ different alcoholic beverages than others.

[@qbrown4239]

Great info Courtney 👍🏾. Thanks for sharing your wisdom 💯

[@tmux]

4:00 That Teige hook hahahaha I love it

[@uninvited5417]

From a man's pov, regarding appearance and initiative: Taking initiative is indeed a man's role, I agree, but one thing that is really (REALLY) great and attractive to see from a woman is, if she had a good time on the first date and wants to meet again, to take initiative for the second date. Not necessarily plan the whole thing or smth (although that's not a turn off either) but to make her own suggestions, or throw ideas, like "Hey, why don't we do such and such next time". When it comes to appearance, of course I agree, but, women, please don't overdo it... Crossing a line when it comes to make up and stuff can make your appearance worse than being slightly unkempt. Moderation is key

[@MountaineerChemist10]

Here’s one from my recent experience; no politics, period. Unless she asked the question.

[@davidpeel8831]

Excellent tips. Fellas here's advice from an old putz. If you're looking for a serious, exclusive relationship start off with morning coffee date. It'll tell nearly everything if you should have a second date. Always go easy on the booze if you proceed- everyone looks good thru beer goggles.

[@hyabusa22]

One of the compliments I get the most from women, besides being able to hold a conversation, is that I never got sexual with them at all. Texting before we even go on a date, then on the date, and even back to my place after. Never got sexual until I started kissing her because we were cuddling on the couch at this point. So to me it’s obvious she wants more if she’s sticking around. Trust that getting sexual too soon never works. 😅

[@mortekaieve4729]

I had a young lady show up on a date in her work clothes and a hoodie once and it was a complete turn-off for me. It just felt rude. If you can't be on your best then just schedule for a different time.

[@sanitary103]

Good morning!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Good morning! Have a wonderful Sunday!

[@TheJacobSnyder]

I kinda agree with your last point. Drinks are definitely not a good idea for a first date for sure but the second and later dates are probably completely normal

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

I am more at ease and impressed if the man doesn't drink on a first date. It didn't use to matter, but I so rarely drink anymore that I'd prefer a non drinker as well. A light drinker is fine too, as complete abstainers are rare and usually if they abstain, it's because they are an alcoholic. I just fizzled out on it, no alcoholism to recover from, and no risk of falling off the wagon either. Just the rare holiday toast.

[@drdoodlittle365]

I haven't even watched the video and I already know what uur gonna say. "money money money money money money" *mr.krabs voice*

[@ricardorgomez]

Great video! Many of these topics go for each sex. Especially the 'rushing'. I see this much more often with woman vs men. You would think in New York City, men would dress appropriately when going on a date. Completely not. I'll see a woman who took the time, done well or not, and the 'man' is dressed poorly and probably didn't even bother to think about it. But then men, especially really eligible ones, are in short supply in NYC. So I don't know if the lack of interest in dressing for a night out is intentional or not. BTW sweetie... Take care of yourself. When I compared this video with the first one I reacted to, you looked much more energetic here than you did in the other video. I'm sure you have a super-busy schedule but.... 🙏🏻

[@terryosowski8143]

It’s amazing you actually have to teach guys this!

[@josesantana770]

you have no idea.

[@KevvoLightswift]

8:45-8:52 Neither do we, ladies. Leave your ex boyfriend drama out of the date!

[@nickh8370]

Jammies might actually break the internet! 🤔 Great job on these videos. #truth

[@Corthos10]

This may seem off topic but what would your recommendations be to find affordable yet quality dress clothing items?

[@davidminassian9953]

Thanks for trying to help us men. Courtney.

[@Shane-gk1on]

i find a really good meal helps with the conversation issues, cant speak with a mouth full of cheeseburger. its also a good chance to find out if the woman is someone who nicks your chips. likewise attending your first date straight from work removes the anxiety of choosing what to wear, and most girls love a man in uniform. A decent high vis jacket works wonders on a date, it can relax both people in my view. Last thing you want is a date pulling down your choice in clothes !! it also provides you with a decent excuse for not spending half the afternoon applying face cream (proper men dont exfoliate) when planning a date for that special lady in your life, you need something that is going to test her true colours. Anything that can be spilt down her is a good bet (gravy, sauce, spaghetti, etc) its also going to stop the date being rushed because she will eat much slower trying to avoid making a mess over her chest with the food choice. The secret is dont let her take control, she doesnt get a menu, you take charge and order for her. Ordering plenty of drinks before and after the meal helps relax things. Order a starter high in garlic content helping the consumption of drink during the meal itself. Dont be in a rush to end the date, keep her intoxicated and a natural bond will appear as the evening continues, making it much easier to approach that endgame kiss which is what all first dates are really about.

[@Shane-gk1on]

its not worth discussing in the 1st place

[@Nierlock]

Pretty timely. I got a date lined up next Saturday

[@Revan992]

I will absolutely be making “we” and “I” statements from the start lol Jessica J says women love this so I do it

[@johnmessick9946]

Another great video!!!

[@stjoelawyer]

guys do not wear outfits we wear clothes -- slacks and shirts , no tops.

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

Are you going to post anymore videos on your other channel?

[@pharmcat8484]

How about a video on matchmaking? Might be fun, definitely interesting.

[@leroyleninwu1]

This has to be said: I totally agree with the “talking about your ex” advice. My main problem is that it ALWAYS get brought up my the female. I can only think of a couple times when a woman didn’t ask about past relationships 1-2 dates in. To me it’s just a no win situation. Obvious things didn’t work because she’s an ex. So what does that have to do with my current situation? When I call them out, “I’m hiding something.” If I say something positive, I still want them. If I say something negative, that’s “an indictment on me.” WTF? I truly think women do this to rank your attraction value to other women. Or if other women found you to be good enough to keep around. Is it just me? Because I notice the her so called “dating coaches” bring this up a lot. Yet never seem to address a recommended response.

[@Mac_Kymera]

100%. My date brought up her exes once and spoke crap about them. I didn’t mention of my exes yet she rejected me after the date because she wanted to know about them and why they ended but I refused. Like what the hell? It’s all in the past, move on! No one needs to know about exes because talking about your exes leads to rejection.

[@miepmiep3017]

@@Mac_Kymera Idk, you can judge a person quite well by their past relationships.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Some talk of exes, some time down the line is helpful. If a man is settled about his exes, and can say some good things, but quickly sum up why it didn't work, this is a good sign of balance and healing. If he's bitter about every ex still, and things were always every ex's fault, then that's a huge red flag. You'll be the villain one day too, and he'll be blaming you for everything as well, because that's just the pattern. I can totally understand unwillingness to talk about ex's in the first few dates. If they are completely resistant, then you do have to wonder what they might be hiding. You want a certain amount of willing to be open and discuss things. If they are a book slammed shut about all of their past, they will likely be like that w/ you when troubles start to arise, which can make it really hard to or impossible to get through the times that aren't so easy and fun.

[@maryamadedeji24]

Hey Courtney, you’re one of my favorite channels on KZbin. You’re like my KZbin big sister you understand both sides when it comes to dating and you’re so knowledgeable and feminine and I just appreciate you so much❤

[@Ezilla82]

That was really informative thanks Courtney. Wish I was on instagram, but somehow, it's not working properly.

[@Lawrence_writer]

Ohhhh. So you have to show up for the date. Got it. :)