6 ways to make dementia care tasks easier: Respect and Dignity in dementia care

[@mrspeace2u907]

I met the elderly gentleman I care for in May. I am a friend of the family with some experience in CNA work (hardest job ever). He is in the mid stages I'd say of dementia. He still does basic care tasks for himself; dressing, bathing, oral care. Right now I prepare 2 meals a day and take him for a daily walk at the mall and coffee where he can still be social with other elderly friends he's known for a long time. He has a small dog he loves, and we both enjoy being playful and affectionate with her. Having a gentle, respectful touch with the dog transfers to his outlook toward me. He's also had some recent podiatric care (had his toenails clipped) and I care for his feet once or twice a week by putting lotion and cream on them, and as a bonus he gets a little massage too. At first, it was awkward - judging by the look on his face and his demeanor. Now, when I say "let's do your feet today" he has his socks off and feet propped upon a chair almost before I turn around. i know it will get more difficult as time goes on, as the tasks become more personal in nature, but I am hoping I am able to manage what's to come as smoothly and stress free as possible.

[@ashleyl4841]

It sounds like you have done a wonderful job making him comfortable with you and helping him adjust to these changes!

[@Chahlie]

Oh, lucky you! My gentleman just hates the world, and everyone and everything in it :(

[@jozeflak1868]

Thank you Dr Natalie for your time and video. I personally don't have problems helping my wife with shower, she needs help washing her back and feet, she's got bad arthritis. I help my wife seeding her down on the toilet , I go outside the bathroom when she is finished I helped her up I don't have problems helping my wife. When we got married we promised to each other for better or worse we going to be there for each other.

[@sandyscott8565]

Thank you, this video came up at a synchronized time, for my current situation. I have been taking care of my mom for over 10yrs and this was a GREAT reminder to be centered in our hearts. This refreshed me to be calm while finishing our task😊❤TY

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

Yes! Removing emotion from the tasks is key! That's helped me quite a bit. My mom is bedridden now. It's been really tough. She was a frustrated mother to us kids so it's been a real challenge to not do what i was taught.

[@ashleyl4841]

This disease can be so tough. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job caring for your mother!

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

@@ashleyl4841 thank you!

[@JoJo-zv7ri]

Thank you. You have such a graceful honesty surrounded by warm fuzzies. I need much practice and appreciate the redirecting of my mind.. I've learned how wi thdrawn my father can get if offended

[@marilynhaverly570]

The idea of another person present and observing resonates because I've noticed how much easier it is to interact with my LO when a sister is visiting. I've felt like the reason has to do with feeling relieved of some of the emotional energy that I experience if I'm alone in dealing with the situation. So, not only would your suggestion result in accountability, but support as well!

[@mrspeace2u907]

....also, I try to take time for self care to keep myself in a healthy emotional state (eat right,exercise, enjoy a hobby,meditate, etc.) when care for others can be practiced with love and joy, it makes the task seem more like a labor of love.

[@elainedisney3697]

Thank you so much for your KZbin videos you just don’t know how much they help especially enjoyed this one because I’m having problems right now with Bathing my husband has front temple dementia and has had it for a while but you are an angel for what you’re doing thank you again

[@jrob8764]

As a son helping your mother clean up after toileting is one of the most difficult things I have ever done.

[@mrspeace2u907]

you are a wonderful son, that is a fact!

[@spudbono5747]

Bless your heart! My mother and my brother would probably come to blows if he even tried to help her with the hygiene issues.

[@lindsayreddy5436]

Thankyou x

[@JaneDoe-bj9gl]

I have a question about bathroom use..during the day, the man i care for never ever has an accident..and is the sweetest man ever,show zero signs of aggression .is he confused, of course he is..he's up 9 to 10 times from the times he goes to bed at night 9pm until 3 am.he goes in the bathroom,stands there,try to pee, just a drip this goes on all night all.and only at night.he is on bladder control meds.and is checked to make sure he's emitting his bladder.if i tell him,,sweetie you just went to the bathroom 20 minutes ago.he has no recall of the bathroom usage.and again at night he may only get up 3 times..he has a good urine flow when he does go,but after up and down all night.he's worm out and so am I.

[@gwenpine6642]

It would be helpful to me if you list all of your 6 tips on the screen at the end of the presentation.

[@ashleyl4841]

Hi Gwen here are the tips Dr. Natali discussed: Have things as ready as possible BEFORE the task Be matter of fact Have conversation Be gentle Be aware of What FEELING you are giving Give your LOWD something to hold

[@gwenpine6642]

@@ashleyl4841 Thanks

[@melissaadams6776]

Its changing the role from child to caregiver........ Very very difficult.......... I find toileting still soooooo impossible That's the line i cant seem to cross I helped my mother for several years... She is in nursing home care fir past 2.5 yrs now However....i still change sheets on bed every other day there..i do all her laundry..i clean her room....i clean her and dress her Keep her hair done and nails done And thats WITH her in nursing home care I try to be generous when i care for her I want her not to feel like a burden But its sooooooooo hard.....soooooooo hard

[@ashleyl4841]

Melissa, it is great that you are able to provide so much of this care to your mother. Dr. Natali talks about LOWD not necessarily remembering each and every thing that is done for them but rather remembering how it makes them feel. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job assessing your mother's emotions when providing her this care!