7 Phrases narcissists hate

[@meadowdevor]

3 Minute Empowerment Plan delivered to your inbox 📬 meadowdevorcourses.com/uplevel-weekly-yt?el=ep-81

[@nancystewart2686]

What's truly amazing is that, when you clearly and firmly say "no", they go ahead and schedule the thing you said "no" to, and then tell you about it at the last minute, expecting you will drop your boundary because the thing has been scheduled. When you hold firm to the boundary and they have to cancel the thing, they blame you and tell everyone you "canceled on them", as if it's possible to cancel something you never agreed to do in the first place.

[@tinat5001]

They'll throw you under the bus every time

[@brianvent3043]

They 'assume' all the time on purpose so they can tell at you when you don't do what they assume , unless you say NO , they will assume you'll do exactly what they want

[@brianvent3043]

Twilight zone. And you tell them you do research on narcissism and that they are narcissists, that you caught them , but they still continue the childish misbehavior because the rest of society doesn't know about their covert lifestyle

[@kitiamuriel]

Perfectly illustrated: all the phases!

[@WinterSown]

classic

[@BlessYourHeart254]

“My name is no, my sign is no, my number is no, you need to let go.”

[@nicholecornes1915]

Lol

[@4Mikes4Mindset4]

👊🏼😁

[@giuliabaracchi463]

😂😂😂 my adress is NO too..

[@MarkM-ke6cn]

Recovering people pleaser here. Thanks for sharing.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Read “no more Mr nice guy “

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

The goal of all manipulation is to get you to react without thinking first

[@sv-yh3mq]

And more: to get you to agree, and submit, commit, and to kowtow to their sense of being in rule over you

[@nicolebenson4517]

So true! It’s best to come dressed in armour. Grey rock. 🪨

[@brianvent3043]

No more smiles from this guy anymore , they hate it , but it works.

[@PatriciaRandallrrr]

Best message ever! Yes. That’s exactly it!

[@torreycat7716]

List of 7 phrases starts at 6:20. 1. No 2. I’m not available for that. 3. I’m not willing to do that. 4. I don’t have time for that. 5. I can’t afford it. 6. I don’t have the capacity to take that on. 7. That doesn’t work for me. I came for the list and got seven full minutes of explanation about what a narcissist is. I already know what one is. I have one!! I needed quick answers and got space filler!! No thanks… I don’t have time for that.

[@rachelmaxwell5953]

Thank you for writing the list so I can simply screenshot. Personally I loved the whole video. I hope you get narc free soon!

[@mwisniewski503]

Thank you. There was a little more foreplay here than I needed.

[@torreycat7716]

@ always

[@rlee1185]

I love you 😂

[@tinat5001]

8. I get to decide that

[@TheLawAndTheProphet]

Excellent. Said no to a narcissist regarding a business proposal. He elaborated. He kept ignoring reasons I gave him. I tried explaining how his behavior was unacceptable and he lashed out. I ended up severing the tie and blocking him on my phone. I feel so much better and learned again to trust my initial instincts. I knew he was trouble from the beginning but gave him "the benefit of the doubt." Narcissists have helped me heal so much. And now I no longer need to draw them into my life. Goodbye, narcissists!

[@helenhighwater5313]

Giving them the benefit of the doubt is like saying "sic 'em" to a dog.

[@compassionandwisdom4311]

I can hear your empathy in your voice, thank you for showing me in so many ways how to say no. Your wisdom and compassion are enlightening.

[@allieeverett9017]

These are golden. If I can't remember anything else I can remember "no". I will hang onto that. THANK YOU!

[@Jamie-h5b]

And remember that "No." is a complete sentence. 👍

[@RyanJohnson-x1x]

This might be the best advice I’ve heard from a therapist both online and in person! This women knows her stuff. My wife not only pulled that “house analogy” both metaphorically and literally!

[@amalali6753]

The magical power of saying No

[@mimib95]

I find as I get older it’s becoming much easier to say I’m going to say no to that.

[@craigpizzarelli2590]

Binge watichig your videos - again. After a full blown brush with a woman with narcisstic behaviour - that lasted excactly 6 weeks. I don't like to label people. Put I can certainly put a label on their behaviour. What really gets me. After having watched as good as any video under the sun on this subject. Read books. Examined myself over and over again. Identified my own father as a covert narc . I still fell head over heels into this. Believing this could be the love of my life. Only to come out bruised, shaken battered and beaten within an inch of my life. Saw the red flags from very early on. Did NOT ignore them. Examinded her eyebrows carefully. Her diabolic glance at times. The way she talked down to her own daughter. Guilt tripped her. The way she trashed all her ex boyfriends - always making herself the victim. Even used me to show off and hurt her latest ex when taking me to a bar that she knew he would be at. I felt strangly sorry for him. Trying to tell me what to buy - or what not to by in a supermarket. With my own money. Trying to tell me how to breathe when doing yoga. Trying to tell me how to drive. Telling me to stop drinking - when she was drinking and smoking herself. It felt like walking into a trap with my eyes wide open. It was just way too obvious that there was something completely out of kilter here. Something going on that is just plain unacceptable. It felt a bit like an examen after many years of studying. I had in fact stayed away from women for a long time for exactly that very reason. To avoid another experience from hell. There were however things that don't fit the bill. THat still leave me wondering. She did not fight for airtime. Was in fact keen to listen to my stories and experiences. My ideas. My input. THe stuff I cooked for her. Wanted to learn my language. Flowers I brought her. She said no one had ever done that and that she often felt rather unintersting to men. I could feel a genuine kindness curiosity and willingness to help others. Took things on board. I.e. when I told her. You can'r treat your daughter like that. She did realise that I was defending her daughter. Stopped shouting at her. Was undeniably impressed with my input. SHe did ask herself questions. Acknowledged that people in her surroundings ( family friends etc) sometimes used to call her a wicked witch. Recognised that her life is a mess at present and she cannot get her stuff together. Did most of the work for her daughter. Driving around all day for her. As the dad is too frail and can't even drive a car. That she has bought for him. She also did not try to conquer me with sex. In fact we both agreed that this was not the time and we were both happy to wait and give it a good few month out so we can get to know each other and get our stuff together first. There was an incredible respectfulness, kindness and mindfulness in our physical communication. We had a lot of things in common. Shared interest.THought about bying a house together sometime. Plant trees. Be self sufficient Made me realise that it is the little things that are so important in a realationship. I am still struggling to believe that this should all just have been a clever con. Something just does not make sense here. ------------------------------------------------------- Thaere was however the classic on/off, hot/cold pattern. The implied " this is going to be on my terms only" approach. I felt trapped and was desperate to find a way out. So on a wine fueled night I let some messages out that would surely upset her and quite possibly hate me. Told her that she can't handle strong men that stand their ground. That her ex men are weak and frail - because she took their energy with her constant demeaning toxic behaviour. Called her a vampire. So yeah I broke the golden rule. Never call them out. But I wanted to piss her off. The only way I figured I could get out of this trap. Before it gets even worse. SInce an adult dialog about my burning issues - that I don't feel valued and respected and that I am missing the most basic manners - appeared to be entirely futile and fruitless. In hindsight I could have used a different approach and tone - as so succinctly pictured above. Not so easy however when you are madly in love. I even did apologise to her about my tone and choice of words. Which she obviously did not accept. But I have made my peace. Learned my lesson. Know what I have to do different next time. I am not perfecr. Its the best I could have done at the time. This is why these videos are so valuable. When I finally realised that this is never going to work - at least with the way things are at the moment ( I suggested couple therapy which she shrugged off ) and pulled the plug, kicking and screaming and against my inner desire to be close to her. My fear to lose her. Which of course resulted in her cancelling me and discarding me like an old dysfunctional toaster THe only way she could handle my rejection was to label me a bipolar lunatic."First you say you are in love with me and all of a sudden you push me away and act compleatly out of order. Do you actually know what you want ? " She was completely unaware of her own behaviour and actions. Which scared the living daylight out of me. Heavily guilt tripping me and to rip open one of my core wounds. Telling me that she can't trust me anymore ( With what? I had effectively told her that I want out ) After all this is what my parents would to me if I came home late. She did not want to be seen with me in public amogst common friends before. Afraid what people might think of her. Another red flag for me. But now all of a sudden she did not seem to have any qualms to tell everyone what a "bad guy" I am. Like the worst kind ever. WHat ever she did - it worked. I could feel the silent treatment from the group immedeately. Classic text book revenge. Blocked me ignores me n all that jazz. And. To top it up. Up the ante. She went back with her latest ex. In order to hurt me. The same way she hurt HIM before -when showing up with me. I had the courage to walk up to him. He was in fact quite friendly. Open and curious. And so I did ask him. Do you feel used at times. To which he replied. Yes. And to which I replied Me too

[@FunnyShellBear]

That sounds more like you are possibly both fearful avoidant attachment types (push/pull, it’s all perfect/doomed?

[@CTSCAPER]

The house analogy makes a lot of sense. Toxic people want to engage us in conversation to skew our mindset to their advantage. I love the way the video shows how to say, "I can't come out to play today." That is the part I have been missing about boundaries. They are there to keep us from getting pulled into the game, not prevent another person from trying to pull us in.

[@RyanJohnson-x1x]

Well said brotha

[@virginiahite9746]

I feel the same. Thank for putting it in your own words. And thank you Meadow, very good video. These people are everywhere, even in the park!

[@WortundGebet]

very good explained, sir

[@SierraNovemberKilo]

When the demands are extreme. Your response, "I dont care". Or "You are speaking to the wrong person. I don't care"

[@skynet2966]

I’ve always felt a little selfish because I have always used these exact phrases. This video helps me feel justified. Thanks!

[@lorimenshew2033]

I have an energy vampire ! Yes a narcissist in my home… he’s not my man, although he’s trying to control everything.. he’s not only a narcissist he’s a habitual liar.. 🤥. I don’t let him manipulate so he says I’m a man basher…

[@kayodudu5190]

KZbin THANK YOUUUUUUUU!! KZbin THANK YOUUUUUUU!! KZbin THANK YOU FOR RECOMENDING THIS VIDEO WHICH HELPS ME KNOW AM NOT ALONE AND THERE IS LIFE AFTER NARCISSISM!!

[@najjukamariam1986]

Hii hiii you are not alone. It's rampant these days.

[@CSheri2]

#8 I don't care.- When you no longer "care" about the Narc then you "care for yourself".

[@seraphinasdotter263]

Great one… although it could be dangerous to say this one depending on your situation

[@wendybond2848]

I think I have met one on holiday! At first I thought she was a bit ditzy but she stops busy waiters or staff and asks them to take a photo, then says they need to move to different light, or take it again at a wider angle. She consistently holds up the group at crucial moments, even in an airport queue, or walking to a boat, asking someone to help adjust her back pack, or take a photo. Tonight she knocked on my door to ask if I could dial a number to see if that was the number for reception, in case she needed to call them in the middle of the night! She is constantly asking for help yet she has chosen to travel by herself. I don’t want to be unkind but I am travelling by myself because I needed a holiday! I don’t want to be her carer! I don’t even know her!

[@notaclue822]

Excellent. Thank you. All those phrases address the real dynamics. The Narc would really hate them. I will add them to my phrase that I already use: "im not interested."

[@meadowdevor]

Glad they resonate with you!

[@allieeverett9017]

I love that one!

[@ktkt1825]

The house analogy is perfect, showing how the narc wants to enter and steal. If only one word could describe my ex-wife, it would be 'Thief'. The Thief of my time, energy, resources, my life. The saving grace is my son- in the face of my great loss, his kindness and acccomplishments transcend it all.

[@najjukamariam1986]

It has clearly put it clearly. Don't aurge ,explain or else you let them in! Beautiful.

[@dianagish2643]

I often say this because the narcissist cannot argue with it: "I don't have a peace about that." Then say absolutely nothing more unless it is verbatim the same thing.

[@RadioIlluminaticom]

Funny, the other day a narcissist reached out to me, after she had ghosted me. I pointed out she ghosted me and told her I forgave her. She got extremely angry and called me a horrible person and said she would not have anything to do with me. I thought to myself, that she really didn't like to own her mistake and tried to bully me to make me feel like it was me, that was wrong, to protect her ego. I like she's running away from me, hopefully she will not come back.

[@johncbr650re]

Don't just hope Set boundaries don't play the game Go no contact and change number if necessary

[@RadioIlluminaticom]

@@johncbr650re She hasn't contacted me again.

[@lucylue1713]

So true ​@@johncbr650re

[@flydeluxe]

In the narcissist's world, it's always all your fault. I admire the way you freed yourself from any blame in your first response. They're never wrong. They'll never admit they're wrong. It always makes them mad when you point it out to them. And when they're angry ... they believe that they're "right."

[@RadioIlluminaticom]

@@flydeluxe I think, it is partly because I'm honest with myself and try to keep a high integrity, so if I make mistakes, I admit them to myself and others. Since I knew I was in the right, it was easy to avoid doubting myself and the narcissistic tricks didn't work. If I was not sure, if I made a mistake, she would have won the game.

[@maxs6026]

Great content! #1 and #7 are my top ideals. Some alternatives that came up: 3. "I don't NEED to do/explain that." This removes will and morality from the equation. Saying 'I'm not willing' makes it a choice, and could easily be flipped by a narc. They'll use it against you as a weapon of guilt or moral judgment. 4. "That's not WORTH my time." This puts value on your energy and time, which is rightfully yours. Saying you don't have the time implies you're too busy and in scarcity. Another scent of blood for the narc. Reinforce your self-worth and your precious time, which is already being spent just interacting with them. 5. "I'm not going to put my energy/attention/money toward that." This puts power back in your hands, rather than using limited resources as an excuse. Whether or not you're able to afford it is irrelevant, it's about choosing what/how to spend what is yours. Again, enforces the value of your time/energy/resources, and your prerogative to put them toward whatever you see fit. This comes back to obligation and what narcs may use as leverage against you. You're under no obligation to them, even saying that is defining a boundary and protecting your 'house'. If a solicitor comes to the door, a) they're trespassing and b) you're not obliged to answer it and speak to them, or do anything they demand. We don't owe anyone an explanation when setting boundaries. Our energy is ours to reserve and put where we choose. Reassert your power, with gentle conviction, and don't waver once you do.

[@m0L3ify]

7 ways to say "no" 😄

[@georgiak6017]

Politely, lol.

[@SierraNovemberKilo]

No Not Doesn't Isn't Wasn't That's a negative Can't

[@kellanaldous7092]

I'm gonna have to stop you 10 seconds in and say its probably a really *bad* idea to try any anti-narcissist methods on your BOSS, lol. Unless you're just done with the job and ready to find a new one. If you manage to get under their skin, and still work there, your worklife will be a living hell, and they'll do it all in a subtle gaslighting fashion that will leave you looking like the asshole. Can't believe this is recommended for the workplace.

[@brendagonzales4532]

If you tell a person “No,” and they flip out, that means they have demons. Evil spirits hate being told “No,” because they thrive on control. Remember, the person is not the spirit. You must look beyond this world. Understand that the spirit world is real and evil spirits live in people or animals.

[@brendagonzales4532]

@@SierraNovemberKilo😂

[@christopherkeller5564]

Meadow - you are highly articulate and spot on in your assessment of the relationship dynamics that occur with a narcissist. Thank you for the insight!

[@meadowdevor]

I'm glad you found it helpful!

[@jandl9417]

The best and most helpful I’ve heard so far! Thank You so much!

[@meadowdevor]

You’re so welcome! I’m glad you found it helpful.

[@rhondajackson7764]

I use the analogy for boundaries around a castle. You only let the draw bridge down for those who are allowed to enter your castle (heart). Everyone else is on the other side of the moat for a defense against attack.

[@meadowdevor]

Yes great analogy!

[@spinnettdesigns]

My weak defenses have been my undoing, but no more. I never knew it was my “right and responsibility” now I know.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

FOG fear, obligation and guilt are very powerful weapons. Especially if you were raised Catholic.

[@spinnettdesigns]

@@Clevelandsteamer324 My entire family system was narcs, so being the scapegoat, at least I had a chance to get better. (See Dr Ramini) It’s the congregation that saved me (I’m a JW) because I saw true Christ-like love there and still do. Even as a child I could see that my home was not normal and things could get better one day. It took 40 years, and amid some bumps here and there, I’m grateful to be doing well now.

[@spinnettdesigns]

@@Clevelandsteamer324 many religions use fear and it can be devastating. I’m grateful that mine uses love through the Christ. John 13:35

[@spinnettdesigns]

Good video, thank you very much. My cousin would use this football term that I found hilarious “I’ve gotta throw a flag on that…”

[@allieeverett9017]

Oh so perfect!

[@teresa9868]

I love that 😂

[@blanchemckenna5926]

Your advice is very clear and concise. Thanks for sharing. I wish I had some of these skills when I worked with narc and flying monkies.

[@meadowdevor]

I’m glad you found it useful.

[@Orgazmo-69]

My best tip: be heartless when it comes to a narcisist. Be cold, distant, silent. I had this friend also, I never liked him but he always comes back after the "cooling" period. I give another chance, he dissapoints an plays games. He returned hoovering for like 15 times since 2020 but the last time I spoke to him I said. Okay bro, enough is enough.. tired of acting like I'm your friend. I also told him his cycle of how he operates. I drew a big red line as a boundry. I told him I'm going to put a stick in the wheel now and stop this cycle. I'm not your friend, the guy is 9 years younger than me and probably saw me as a mentor of some kind. But I had enough of his bs...

[@impalamama7302]

I just went through this with an old friend who has been off and on over the last 40 years. The 18 months have been really trying because she was dealing with a prolonged recovery from a life-saving ER surgery and suffered complications (which were mostly due to her own fault for no doing things she needed to do and doing things she shouldn't) and she did end up having to undergo further surgery about a year later which fixed the problem. But then I had it and was done. She wormed her way back to me communicating with her again (She had moved to another state like four years ago) and I told her to stop texting me. If you wanna talk, fine gimme a call but no texting because evidently texting isn't best because she is misinterpreting my tone and getting angry. She sits there and does these pages long talk-to-texts and I am currently going through a lot of stressful things and have to handle a lot of business and her texts were distracting as well as the ensuing vitriol I get back for a neutral response or trying to set a boundary. When she went back to talk/texting pages almost immediately I just said I am going to have to say it is better we dont text and she exploded. True to form whenever I set a boundary, she crosses it and explodes with vile hateful spiteful things so I blocked her. Felt bad for a minute, but it isn't my problem she has no friends. She never knew how to BE a friend. And I certainly don't miss the negative narc energy.

[@emergentform1188]

Lovely, charming, brilliant, cool shirt, amazing decor, and a cool necklace to boot, what's not to love?

[@meadowdevor]

😊 thank you

[@swayamsiddhamishra6538]

It's creepy how accurate this is!

[@kyragerber7468]

New sub!! Excellent!!! Surviving and learning to thrive at 53! Freedom feels so good!

[@meadowdevor]

I am so glad you are finding your freedom!

[@vixwhite371]

I'm soo sad,disowned but free from narcissism

[@emilystooks8035]

Me also! YAY "NO"

[@honeybee7768]

I love the analogy! The best explanation of boundaries I've ever heard! Thank you!

[@RuthWalker-tn8wv]

Thank you so much - superb xxx. The house analogy makes it so much clearer. Having a framework for the words you need is priceless. Assertive, polite ways to protect yourself from mistreatment.

[@jooliagoolia9959]

I've noticed narcissists who previously hurt someone will contact people after years and just pop up and say hi! They could do their damage before and want to see if you are still an easy target. I've had three contact me over the years and I've been honest and asked why are they contacting me after such and such. They don't try and contact again.

[@solmazsurvivor]

I like the door and thief example.

[@mayalessov]

Love this so much. Thank you, Meadow. I can testify that No works like a charm. Never could get my manipulative relarive from intruding on my space, time wnergy and self worth until i used a plain No once when they tried to pick a fight. They said, "Not so harshly." And i just said again, "No." Have been free from their intrusion since. The other phrasing suggestions are also very good. I will forward this on to friends who are also dealing with narcissistic people. "Dealing," I'm going to call it, for short. Thank you, Meadow DeVor. You do magic.

[@meadowdevor]

Thanks for sharing. It’s wonderful to hear it’s working!

[@hikerhobby1204]

Boundaries could be taught in middle school or earlier.

[@meadowdevor]

Absolutely, I agree!

[@stjepanovics]

I think that's something parents should be teaching their children from early age. Unfortunately, some parents are their children's first bullies. Something that may reduce that dynamic could be some parenting lessons and courses that people who want to become parents could attend, so they don't ruin their children's self esteem and boundary setting abilities accidentally, just because they don't know better. Sorry for my english, it's not my first language.

[@WhirledPublishing]

You're so knowledgeable about all this - thank you.

[@SK-iq4qe]

Appreciate how easily and clearly you explain. Great presence on screen. No hoopla just facts. 👌🏽

[@weyounion9112]

My mother and my older sister are narc and my 41 years long friend is teaching me to resist. I use the fact that I have bad hearing to avoid phones, so only mails (and there's a proof left!). He wrote quite a few mails that I copied, and now he's just giving me the gist and I do the writing. I'm 57... It's still difficult, I want so much to explain myself, to appease the drama, etc, though I know it doesn't work and never will. The best I had found before was to go and live abroad for 18 years. In short your examples are in simple terms what he teaches me through each and every drama/manipulation/criticism they throw at me. My house, my rules!

[@susanscholz8604]

❤Best wishes to you on your journey. I’m 64, British and have lived in Germany for over 30 years. Take care of yourself 😊

[@isabellevindrue5201]

Such a great way to explain boundaries!!

[@meadowdevor]

It really is! Thanks

[@BaronVonAuslese]

These phrases are helpful, and not just for situations when communicating with narcissists. I can see using these when interacting with co-workers, friends or even strangers. It is normal and healthy for adults to assert boundaries (and without any apologies). Thank you!

[@meadowdevor]

I’m glad you have found them useful!

[@emergentform1188]

Yes, they are empty inside and trying to fill that void with your input/resources in some way. The narcissistic who got the better of me tended to be fake/plastic in her personality, shifting opinions, likes, etc. depending on the situation or circumstances.

[@alane_j]

This is such a great explanation of boundaries. Thank you! These types of reminders are helpful. Dealing with these types of people is so tricky. Having these examples to refer to is great.❤

[@meadowdevor]

You're very welcome!

[@Full_Sugar_Brah_2025]

This lady is so smart and beautiful. I bet she's a great mom, too.

[@compassionandwisdom4311]

oh, this is good Thank you for such a great definition of boundaries

[@meadowdevor]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@301joey1]

Its taken years to understand how deeply these people hurt me and how trying to help them only empowered them, ...Both my parents were narc making me a easy mark for one who I thought was a friend, I knew many things were off with him but I was so manipulated growing most of the toxic stuff seemed normal...The thing that I hate the most is some of the traits I picked up with time. after finding many good educational sources I have been able to detox many things and focus on self worth, thats the number one thing is seeing your worth, not what your worth to someone else.. Great video, I wish I could have had this education 50 or 60 years ago but Ill take it now, TY Joey

[@kathym.248]

There are some great ones there. "That doesn't work for me" is so general it could be pulled up anytime.

[@madsaqua2350]

Withdrawing from any debate, they hate to be ignored. Boy do they pay back, but at least you get peace from them.

[@cherobinson6371]

Give them nothing. No words no emotion. If they won’t leave you alone? File a Police Report. Be honest tell the Cops they are stalking you. Dontbe so nice that they can hang around your life. Ditch them.

[@TwoBCre8tive4Life]

Honest question here: withdrawal from every debate, could become an unhealthy tactic to control people too; so how do you make sure there is a healthy balance of getting into conflict and resolving issues, even with a narcissist?

[@joannvanarnam2267]

Practical advice if your narc actually talks to you. I'd like to see advice about getting my narc brother to stop messing with my toilet. Literally. I say the wrong thing - like, "hey do the dishes you left in the sink for 4 days", and along with 5 year old temper tantrums, i run the risk of my toilet being inoperable for several days. Doesn't sound like a big deal, til 3 am hits...

[@Shishy362]

This is excellent! Love this analogy. Really helpful! Thank you🙏🌠

[@meadowdevor]

Glad it was helpful!

[@JKDVIPER]

Before I even watch 1. NO 2. PLEASE 3. DID YOU? 4. WHY? 5. HAPPY STATEMENTS. Because the use of the GUILT TRIP is so fundamental, I thought it appropriate to include that. Because they hate pressure, the questions came into play. And because they dislike good moods that don’t suit them, unless you’re kidding ass or pleasing them in some way, you’re likely to get a BOREDOM ATTACK.” 😞🧠👍

[@MoonsongReverb]

"I'm tired of explaining myself all the timne" and *boom* - that made the narcistsist no longer want to interact with me. Good riddance

[@denisesiters7252]

I use I don't want to hear it. Gossiping, When they go on victim stance and want to complain about all the stuff other people do to them. Works for me 😅. Thank you, lots of good stuff❤

[@tonyct6640]

One of the concerns I have about the way messages are conveyed in these types of videos and the responses of people is that it implies that one person in the relationship is all good and innocent and the other is all bad and manipulative. Yes, there are instances where a person is really "bad news" and continuously displays all the traits of a Narcissist and it must be hell to be in any form of a relationship with that person but then for most relationships, which go sour, there is a bit of blame to be shouldered by both parties.

[@JohnMcGlothlin-l7j]

The phrases start at 6:31

[@DavidMcdonald-df8tb]

Thanks. The video should have started there

[@rlee1185]

You're the best!

[@tinat5001]

I say "I get to decide that" when they try bullying you into something.

[@shaunhunterit342]

Excellent video Meadow, thank you. I wish I could have used some of these phrases in the past.

[@meadowdevor]

Glad you like them!

[@_Pat_1111]

Very well put into words what I learned throughout my life being around narcissists a lot.

[@beatrixatthecchwclub5620]

This is HUGELY helpful, thank you

[@LindaFenney]

Such a great analogy and Im going to try the phrases. Thank you so much!❤

[@brianb9410]

Terrific video. You explain the reason these 7 phrases are needed very well. Thanks for a concrete plan!

[@meadowdevor]

I’m glad you liked the video!

[@TestimonyOfYeshua]

1. Attention 2. Energy 3. Respect Good to know!!!

[@matt8038]

My narcissistic ex walked out on me after my card declined at dinner due to a fraud alert. It was the first and only time that she ever paid for anything. Devastated me. I guess the words “card declined” will do it as well

[@julieq3910]

Be careful at work. I said no to a narcissist at work. She and her flying monkeys cried to my boss and my boss' boss who then told me to do the work. I think it's sometimes better to just not reply.

[@deemaysie6568]

@julieq Yes, its an exhausting mind game that never stops on what would be the best move given the cards the narc has revealed.

[@esperansaloughran693]

Now this video helps me understand what's going on with Man here. Thx so much!

[@meadowdevor]

I am glad this is helpful.

[@toriarose]

It seems like those last few are kinda weak, like you're explaining yourself. "I don't have time" and "I don't have the capacity." Time, capacity, is telling them why. Granted, some people might feel more comfortable with that more vague explanation. But others, with more cat energy (lol), would say "I don't want to." Even better, "I don't f*cking want to." lol ;-) But one of my favs, "no thank you." Catty "thank you" at the end is the cherry on top :-)

[@hariom-tn7ow]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

[@meadowdevor]

I am glad you found it helpful!

[@victoryamartin9773]

Ya I basically said, That doesn't work for me," when they said they were going to change the lock in my house to keep me out of my guestroom. That evoked a year long abusive rage cycle that has driven me to seek a restraining order to try to get them out of my house. Up to that moment, they got all my time, energy, and resources freely, and the one thing I had to say no to ended a 6 year friendship. That was a slap in my face that I wasn't expecting and a sudden initiation into the insidious world of Narcissistic abuse and Psychopathic thievery. And btw, the lock they changed anyway was never discussed again. They have been creatively capturing territory in my house through violent threats and punishment like an imperial army taking over a foreign country. Every pushback I've given has been met with victim whining and vicious counter-attacks. I believe now that they had planned and intended during their 6 year pleasantries to rob me of my house and force me into financially facilitating their takeover. I can't live like this. I see how I had willingly handed over the keys to my heart and home to the devil. Never again, I think, if I ever again have a chance.

[@meadowdevor]

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

[@john_atkins]

I think ONE response works best: 'No.' And that's it. Don't owe an explanation. A simple 'no' works, too.

[@meadowdevor]

That's a good one!

[@darinsmith2458]

All those phrases are based around NO.. I am dealing with that right now..

[@theodavies8754]

They use being a passenger while you are focused on driving. They are able to focus on the manipulation while you are distracted. Be aware of your passenger driving a discussion.

[@StStStS]

Good advice about having them as a passenger in your car. (I would rather drive a viper tbh!) A simple ‘Let’s discuss this when we get there’ or just ‘I need to concentrate on the road’ would be the best thing to do.

[@theodavies8754]

@StStStS I'm a bit busy at the moment keeping us on the road. Usually results in a reset.

[@jimpassi349]

THE BEST ONE BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[@Supershark83]

Great metaphor with a house . I need to stop going out in the yard 🙄

[@sanjeevbains690]

love the home analogy - clicked. Thank you so much Meadow for this video.

[@meadowdevor]

I'm glad it resonated with you!

[@sayusayme7729]

Thank you ♥️♥️♥️

[@meadowdevor]

You're welcome. 🥰

[@MarkS-y6k]

The word No!

[@danielscott8180]

I'd say most narcissists aren't even consciously aware of what they're doing. I always hear how calculating they are, but it's obviously a form of mental illness and a coping mechanism arising from their own trauma. I come from a family of narcissists, and believe you me we were all victims of victims. Its a cycle that I struggled to break and it took years to do so!

[@KerriLynnBulger]

No way. Their behavior is intentional. They know what they're doing

[@ssummers9541]

Millions upon millions of people have been through trauma and do not become abusive narcs. Many choose to be just the opposite..kind and responsible. Psychological research has proven they consciously choose to be malicious. Please stop making lame excuses for evil behavior. That just enables them to continue and feel entitled to do it more, with impunity. Please read the research of the experts, use logic, and stop talking about something you are not informed on. You are doing more damage to the narcs' victims.

[@danielscott8180]

@@ssummers9541 I am a victim of narcs. But recovered.

[@joaoalmendra65]

I think you are right. The person in question would go thru the all Spectrum of feelings from tender love to total intolerance and oblivious but it had in my opinion a pattern . Its like they are not aware of others and just have them themselves in very high self esteem .

[@danielscott8180]

@@telefellavision Yeah, well, these are labels that are probably given after complex diagnosis by an experienced psychiatrists/psychologist. No offence, but internet diagnosis is very harmful for both the person being diagnosed and society as a whole. These videos are everywhere on the internet now. We have to be careful we're not becoming something equally as bad by engaging in this behaviour.

[@AureliaSWV82]

Another phrase that they love when they’re trying to get you angry is calmly saying, “bless your heart”

[@s.r.t.5123]

Great video. Thank you!

[@meadowdevor]

Thank you. I’m glad you found it helpful.

[@zahadou]

Narcissists are just kids - who never grew up - or moved on. Treat them that way.

[@richarddaily9517]

You're my Hero ❤️ Thank -you 😊

[@meadowdevor]

Glad it was helpful

[@undefinedperson3155]

I like phrase #1 - it's the most universal.

[@bookmouse2719]

I just have one friend at this time. She is nice and independent. I threw my X away a long time ago. If you are stuck, visit 3 or 4 times a year for a few hours 😆

[@debygiannioti4271]

Simple, yet... I need to practice until it becomes natural for me❤

[@Paul-v8v4j]

Very good video. Thank you.

[@WhirledPublishing]

"Sounds like you're offering to pay my bills."

[@zachphelps-roper6114]

Solid advice. Thank you so much!

[@meadowdevor]

Glad it was helpful!

[@nicholecornes1915]

Im so happy that i ran away

[@tracybrasuell2470]

😊❤

[@lenpaganelli1395]

Very good. Very clear.

[@meadowdevor]

Thank you! I'm glad you found it helpful.

[@Funkydood]

The root of narcissism is an Inferiority Complex (super low self-esteem.)

[@RicardoComissoli]

All these is very difficult for the Latin culture. We are not used to say no. We feel ashamed. It's a cultural bias. More difficult when the narcissist is your mother or father. Virtually impossible. 😢

[@annecaro.3956]

what about hierarchy at work who blackmail you if you say I am not available for the extra work you put on my desk within a limited time

[@pippalewisNYC]

Great video, thank you for sharing!

[@meadowdevor]

You’re welcome! I’m glad you found it helpful.

[@casey10bb]

Thanks some of the best advice and right to the point. I have a lot of narci people in family that makes it more difficult to get rid of them.

[@meadowdevor]

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that.

[@bookmouse2719]

A relative of mine had a anger management problem, destroyed his own car....(he tried to commit suicide) and then asked if I would donate some money to him because he now needed a new car. I told him that I don't have extra money, felt badly for him and sent him a religious self help book.