7 Signs Of a Narcissistic Parent

[@Christisgrace]

Thank you again for sharing your wisdom and knowledge Kenny. I believe that my father is a narcissist. I have not met him in 7 years. I was the one to finally put down my foot against his bullying. I texted him, "if you're going to keep writing these mean messages to me, you don't have to write to me at all." And he didn't. My father was physcially and emotionally abusive towards me and my mother as a child. He could not take responsibility for the hurtful things he did. When I tried to hold him accountable, he started to blame me and my mother and he told me that he has never done anything wrong towards us. Ever. I would often fear visiting him and when I no longer wanted to spend the night at his house, he became angry and he told me that I was mean for not wanting to stay with him, that I only loved my mom and didn't care about him. He told me this when I was a child and I grew up believing that it was something wrong with me, that I was bad. I didn't want to stay at his house because when I didn't want to sleep alone in my bed (night terrors), he screamed at me and told me to stop crying and threatned to hit me with the vacuum cleaner. I had to cry myself to sleep in silence. It was truly terrifying. As I got older he kept blaming me and he didn't want me to grow up. He prefered me as a child, he said so himself. And when he was displeased with me, he verbally abused me. He told me that he wished my mother had done an abortian. That I should be thankful because he stopped her from getting an abortian. That I am alive because of him. He often told me about everything he has done for me. He used that against me. He wanted me to be thankful becasue he took care of me as a child. He used to say, "do you know who wiped your butt when you were little? I DID!... not your mother but ME!.... and now you are doing this to me?! You should be thankful. You are so ungrateful. You have no empathy." Etc. When I did homework with him, he used to hit me in the head with his fist, because I didn't have the right answer or understood the homework. I was/am really bad at math. He slapped my face when I was afraid to go alone to the store, in his country, becasue I was shy and I couldn't speak the language. I cried a lot and I wanted to swear but then he'd chase me around until I locked myself in the bathroom to cry and let my anger out. He forced me to open and made me be quiet. I was never allowed to be angry at him.... or even express anger in general. This is only a small portion of the abuse.... I am still trying to heal from everything but it is hard. I find it difficult to talk about since I am afraid that I will cry and it makes me feel uncomfortable crying in front of people or even showing my emotions.... Your channel are helping me a lot. God bless you. ❤

[@Christianvalentinbooks]

I'm 35 years old and I have decided to move out to another country in my own with my partner. And the moment my mom heard about it, she furiously began to tell me about all the things that will eventually go wrong, and to address that my partner would throw me out because I'm not a man, but a child. This video has helped me understand why I feel the way I feel, and 95% of the things that you described has happened in my life. I really want to thank you for this, I was looking for answers without noticing that I have trauma.

[@KingMark33]

I can totally relate. I remember when I quit smoking weed. I made a post on Facebook, mentioning the benefits I experienced after quitting. Both of my parents cornered me and told me to delete the post. I told them this is who I am and I’m happy to share. They said “well you’re friends with some of our friends and I don’t want them to see that.

[@Ann64]

So selfish!! I'm sorry

[@datheamore6395]

I convinced myself for years that my family was the perfect family. It was my defense mechanism so I wouldn't delete myself... but while I was suppressing all of the hurt and loneliness of my childhood, I fell into a lot of toxic friendships and relationships, and I was also rather toxic. The best thing that ever happened to me was realizing how I didn't need to be perfect and that I wasn't perfect and that I had room to grow into a better person and heal. That being said, the hardest part is forgiving myself for the defense mechanisms I developed that made my life harder and led me to being unnecessarily hurt. It is a process.

[@zehraholcomb]

What you are describing is my father whom I cut contact many years ago. Yes, we all were just props of his little world, could never be enough to please him or better than him. We absolutely didn't have any privacy or weren't allowed to have our own thoughts, all of our feelings were always dismissed. He was physically, mentally and emotionally very abusive. He always had other affairs, he introduced some of them to us (his children) and to my mom. He would enjoy tormenting us while he would act like an angel outside of our houses walls. He would always lie, give false promises and belittle us when we told the truth about him to the police every time we try to get help from the government. It really is aa torture to live with them but regardless of how powerful he looked I somehow knew that he was a suffering child. That gave me the courage to leave his house at the age of 15, I encouraged my mom to join me and we broke free finally after he stopped chasing us after we left. To all the victims here, please don't lose hope and trust that you are stronger than you give yourselves credit for. You were able to cope with such torment trust me life outside is way easier than behind those walls! I love you!

[@janethomas78]

Kenny-- You nailed it! I had to take care of my narc mom for 50 years!! and then I was dumped out on the street. I can't recover! I have looked for decades!! Its the feelings and the lack of skills in reciprocal relationships!! You know THIS!! THANKS!!

[@kerrirowlett6115]

Wow wow wow... so many thoughts and feelings with this... I'll be 49 in a couple weeks and have ONLY now been able to say my mom is a narcissist.. I couldn't admit it or even think she was before the last year... I think deep down I always knew but didn't have the words to describe it... through LOTS of therapy and discovering more about who I am and the traits I was passing down to my own kids (10 and 12 year old girls), I am learning to recognize it. I have had to disconnect from my mom... I haven't seen or talked to her since Christmas (and we have a pretty traditional type of family)... felt lots of guilt at first but learning to heal and move past it... it is something I should have done 25 years ago but I'm so glad and grateful I have the courage now to walk away from her and focus on raising my own girls they way they deserve! And I've often wondered, since I can see some of these traits in me, am I a narcissist too? But you addressed it... the difference is that I can acknowledge when I see it and will change that behavior... she will never see anything wrong in her behavior.. in fact, she has gas lighted me to the rest of her side of the family... so to them, I'm not being the dutiful daughter and shame on me cause that's my mother. Yep, it's been difficult but I have to stay the course and protect myself and my kids from that crazy-making non-sense. Thank you for your videos! It really helps validate how I feel!

[@kennyweiss]

You’re so welcome and I’m so happy to hear that you’re moving from feeling hopeless to hopeful. My codependence videos would really help you with your recovery. I also have a free master class that would be of real value to you. It will help you release the pain from her treatment of you. Here is the link thegreatnessu.com/p/your-journey-to-emotional-mastery

[@lisahead6868]

I’m there too and I’m 58

[@knoxfamily150]

My stepmom was pathologically this,way. She was a horrible person. My dad sold out my best interests as a child to please her and her daughters. As a result I was left on my own. Any accomplishment I had were overshadowed by her kids. There are both gone now and am working my way through my feelings. My stepsisters both became their mother and are abusive emotionally. Can't wait to never speak to them again after we get through this will.

[@MsUnbreakable537]

I have been watching many videos these past few weeks. You’re videos bring the most light into this sickness. Thank you!

[@kennyweiss]

You’re welcome. I’m happy they’re helping you make sense of things

[@nelodypond9282]

This whole video was spot on! I’ve learned my father is narcissistic and even as an almost 30 year old woman, he continues to try to control me, criticizes me and any accomplishment I make, etc. The only reason he still speaks to me now is because I live in the apartment HE chose for me. The isolation, anxiety, depression and extreme indecisiveness is real and it’s hindering my adult life. Slowly I’m becoming aware and strong

[@kennyweiss]

I’m glad you’re finding clarity through all of the chaos. I would encourage you to head over to my codependence playlist and begin watching those videos so you can learn how to set boundaries and protect yourself. Also if you look in the description of my videos there’s a link to a free master class. I would encourage you to sign up for that. You’ll also see a link to my online magazine site. I turn these videos into articles. That way you have a quick handy guide to remind you of the key ways to help yourself. You can subscribe to that also! I put out a new article every week! 😁

[@nelodypond9282]

@@kennyweiss thank you!

[@kennyweiss]

@@nelodypond9282 of course 😁

[@ShivaSolentei]

Both parents are covert narcs, not sometimes, all of the time. They do everything in this video ALL the time and always have, to this day. I am 49 and they are 80. I was the scapegoat and my sister was the golden child. She is only now seeing how bad it really is as they treat her kids as scapegoats now. My sister called me just yesterday about an exchange with our father. She said he was shaking he was so rageful and angry and just went off on her. She couldn't believe it! She hadn't experienced this before. I told her that this has been my experience since I was an infant. Nothing new to me. Thanks you as always for the great content.

[@mevolveme]

Wow dude you have it all figured out. Thank you and god for this KZbin algorithm before 2023!

[@kennyweiss]

You're very welcome!

[@reginageorge72]

My daughter is a narcissist.i know I contributed to this by giving her everything she wanted growing up but didn't give her the emotional connection. Mostly because when I tried, she would abuse that. She hasn't spoken to me now for 3 years and all I feel is relief (she's now 31) Before that there was always an emergency, she couldn't pay the rent, her friends were treating her badly, and even one time u got a call at work that she had attempted suicide. I raced to her rescue only to find she had only said she was thinking about suicide to a doctor and they wouldn't let her leave, so she called me to come rescue her. I tried counselling and therapy together when she was a child, I helped her over and over and then just as covid hit, she decided not to pay her rent and wanted validation. I refused to give it to her and asked her to think about the landlord and they may be struggling financially and deserves to know, not just her not paying due to the rent moratorium that the Victorian government introduced. I kindly told her she was making a mistake for her future as she would still owe all that money, and she had the ability to pay. She cut me off, first time I'd ever really stood up to her. Thank you for this video. If she ever decides to come back into my life it gives me a greater abilty to deal with her. As a side note, I'm healing myself from codependency and cptsd. So your videos are gold for me

[@mevolveme]

I wouldnt talk to you if you were my mom either and if you talked about me like this. You use words like “kindly” and “came to her rescue” for self but put her down and don’t even see it jeeesh I cant imagine her child hood but to each there own I guess

[@reginageorge72]

@@mevolveme I appreciate your honesty. And i understand you don't know the whole situation, I love my daughter dearly and hope one day we can heal our relationship

[@reginaanim8287]

Pray find a verse pray into the foundations of your house and her fathers house and break the curse.

[@olbe147]

Kenny, your website is priceless.

[@protein2426]

I really shouldn't have placed any hope on my mother😅. At least talked to her, but mom will never listen to anywords other than compliments, she appears to be competitive and controlling ever since I could remember. Dad was always absent…or acquiesce those trauma？

[@lucyhaviga5400]

Thank you ! I am sharing this !

[@kennyweiss]

Thanks for sharing!

[@janethomas78]

This was my Mother. She had to always humiliate me in public to diminish me as a rule. She taught others and relatives and my brothers and sisters to shame and blame me. My mom also charged me for all expenses raising me and sabotoshed all of my events, birthdays she was always out of town since I was in grade school. The last birthday party she had was when I was 7. She made me a coo coo clock clack w a bird and told everyone I was crazy, and took photos. She was OUT OF HER MIND. My mo could not be nice to me, EVER. Just fake nice.

[@adarahhubble3385]

OMG! 😢 I’m SO very sorry and horrified for you. May the Good Lord keep you and bless you always.

[@adarahhubble3385]

I hope you understand that you probably reminded her of herself and the way SHE was treated as a child. It’s not about you. SHE is the crazy one! There’s NO excuse for her sick and twisted behavior!

[@karengodan5205]

I used to see these toxic relationships as a curse. Why do they keep targeting me with all this anger, criticisms and belittling comments. With these videos and life, I see these people as suffering. They aren’t happy, why should I be. Now I know they are doing the best they can and have no knowledge of what strength really is. Someone sent me a Christmas card that read”May Christmas bring you eyes to see beauty that only the heart can understand .”

[@KingMark33]

My father almost broke the axel on my car because he couldn’t be wrong. I was changing my studs on the wheel and he forced himself into it like he always does. I don’t ask for help…he just shows up and immediately tries to take control of what happens. Anyways, he swore up and down that the rotor would come off if you remove one bolt. I told him over and over that you have to remove the 3 bolts on the back before it comes off. Well he didn’t believe me. He started to try and force the rotor off with only removing one screw, he just knew it would come off. It wasn’t budging at all. He then took a hammer to it and started trying to hit it off. Only because he had to be right. He couldn’t just say that he was wrong and allow me to remove the 3 screws on the back. It got to the point where he was about to break it. I told him again that you have to remove the other 3. He said “no I think it’s just too much rust on it. He went inside, I removed the 3 screws and took it off. He came back and said, how did you get it off. I said I removed the screws I was talking about. He said “well you didn’t have to do that but I’m glad you got it off. It’s borderline insanity. I couldn’t get the last stud out so he told me to just ride with 4. I listened to him and not too long after, the studs broke because of too much pressure. I told him 4 wasn’t enough. He said no, 4 will work, you must have not tightened them enough. It’s like no matter what, he’s right and I’m wrong. In the event that I’m obviously right, he won’t acknowledge it, he’ll just downplay the heck out of it and say I got lucky or something. Seriously how could people be like this, it’s ridiculous.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

They are delusional. :( Glad you are okay..... that could have been bad.

[@SakuraSamora]

I am definitely buying the course for myself and getting my sister's each one as well!

[@kennyweiss]

Good for you. Here is the direct link to make it easy thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-method

[@SakuraSamora]

@@kennyweiss thank you! You've been very helpful and I appreciate your posts so much! I submitted a question not too long ago and your response helped my sisters and I tremendously!

[@kennyweiss]

@@SakuraSamora That’s wonderful I’m happy to hear that it’s helping you so much

[@vickibellanova397]

This video was amazing! Thank you so much. So relatable. I'm looking very forward to reading your book.

[@kennyweiss]

You’re welcome. I’m really happy it connected with you. As for my book… Enjoy the journey🕺😁

[@jeankipper6954]

Pop was overt, aggressive narc, mom was much worse and passive. Many years later she bragged (whiningly) about how much she gave us care at great cost. "I've taken care of people all my life. I deserve to be taken care of now." On the rare occasions I was around them in the years after going no contact, they'd talk about how idyllic our childhoods were. I sure don't remember that they did. The neglect (but I was sick!), the savage beatings, on and on. Well. They are gone now. Good.

[@KU-mq4er]

Thank you for this 🙏

[@marielarsson6718]

Working on finding the courage to say no to my family, but I’m just too scared. I feel trapped. 😢

[@OlgaMalykhin]

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart, your videos have "clicked" with me and have helped TREMENDOUSLY! Thank you, thank you 😊 P.S. "Horrifically annoying", 😂😂😂... perfect.

[@Ridiculi]

Your mom blurting out about her dress sounds like her trying to change the topic when it maybe swerved to a political discussion. Hahaha

[@joannegild8001]

You are describing my mom but also my partner. Not all of it, but still. I knew my first husband was a narcissist but not them. Makes me sad.

[@TheKarenKeener]

I love this video. I am now a subscriber. I would prefer less commercials. In a 30 minute program, I think one or two commercial breaks is more than enough. I get that this is monetization but it makes it hard to learn with excessive breaks.

[@kennyweiss]

Awesome, thank you!

[@michelle73]

Thank you so much , I am currently doing trauma therapy I highly recommend it ❤

[@christianagehrer1726]

Unfortunately both of my parents are incredibly Narcissistic 😥 this describes things with my family to a T. My father told me many times over the last several years that my younger brother always was and still Is my mother’s favourite. And I ‘USED’ to be his favourite before I became such a disappointment. 😐

[@kennyweiss]

Heartbreaking

[@christianagehrer1726]

@@kennyweiss they’re starting to do the same things to my children now, that they do to me. Thankfully not quite to the same extreme degree……..but I have to remove myself and my kids from their lives ASAP. My parents and brother are also all alcoholics. My mother is the worst one out of the 3 of them unfortunately. And she does the same thing that you said your mom does. Interrupting people to put the attention back on herself. And if you don’t pay attention to her and listen to every little thing she has to say, she will throw a fit and attack me. She does everything she possibly can to make herself the center of attention almost all of the time. She is never wrong, doesn’t care about anyone but herself and her wants/needs….and her favourite thing to do is throw everything and anything she does in my face to try to control me. My father on the other hand is an extremely volatile alcoholic who uses guilt trips and throws things in my face but he also gets enjoyment and pleasure out of hurting me…physically, mentally and/or emotionally…… According to them…I never do anything right and I’m a constant ‘disappointment’ to them. They tell me on a regular basis…‘Christiana , you need help!’ The only reason I haven’t been able to get away from them and their control, is mainly due to my health and finances and needing their help after my divorce. And anytime I try to make my way out of this bottomless pit I’ve been in, they don’t waste any time in doing whatever they can to push me back down and try to regain their control over me. I have been binge watching a lot of your videos today to try to find a way out of this messed up family I’m in. Thank you for all the help, explanations and encouraging words!

[@kennyweiss]

@@christianagehrer1726 That just sounds so tragic and overwhelming. If you decide you need more help I also have a private online group which is only $59 a month and I coach people through their difficulties. You can get more information about it here at this link www.tguprivategroup.com

[@aena5995]

Ugh for my mom it's my lil sister .. I really want to be independent enough to get away from them but I need this degree first 😭 however in this day and age even that doesn't guarantee anything idk I wish I could escape them I thought getting married would be an escape but now that I know I have been attracting narcs it just makes me more scared ..

[@angelarobinson7941]

Mothers and sons...narcissistic mother usually equals narcissistic son.

[@leonieharry2941]

I think imperfections become unacceptable when they degenerate into evil. then another gait is announced.Rightly so!

[@lynn644]

How does emotional enmeshed son/mother relationships, golden child come into play with narcissism?

[@Gigiyoungerme]

The narcissistic people in my life Through time I have had usually found myself in my romantic relationships most times My being the common denominator in these relationships caused me to question my own reality my own self awareness and my own self knowledge I chose these relatioships(unaware through my subconscious) left feeling negative sense of self It has to do a lot with my childhood either through experiences of stonewalling(disregard example children are to be seen not heard message with and by people(school yard) I grew up with who are perfectly imperfect I like perfectly imperfect and equally important As a child I believed my parents were perfect without flaws also without feeling because expression was more in doing finding out they are human at a point or another helped me have a true concept of self They encouraged me to believe in myself when struggling with my peers We lack information as children we count on our family system as children then as adults as we investigate our own thoughts feelings and behaviors as adults We still lack information about knowledge of self so on and so forth Hence to the whys as adults we do that work(spiritual warfare) as to why we feel how we feel in survival mode The understanding of how our body keep score that to me is like the key to my mariads of questions starting with why Thank you for sharing Kenny Weiss

[@shelly1803]

I'm aware of my past trauma. Both my parents and my stepmother were narcissists. I still pick narcissists though. How do I break that cycle? I left yesterday while he was at work. It was hard but I did it.

[@kennyweiss]

I would suggest picking up a copy of my book and signing up for my free masterclass. You will learn about "The Worst Day Cycle" how it was created in you and how to stop it. You can find links to both in the descriptions of all my videos.

[@lisahead6868]

Ugh, my mother knows everything about everything.

[@survivingcovid-19onagourme5]

My Mom is a narcissist!!! Can I please hire you as my therapist??? I have insurance. Where are you located?

[@kennyweiss]

Yes you can hear all the different ways I help people. You can book an appointment or sign up for my classes or my groups directly through my website kennyweiss.net/coaching/

[@chantallachapelle7376]

Great videos! I’m a step mom.. I’m wondering if you have any video on narcissistic behaviour coming from my step children’s mom or is it something else?And how to deal with it?

[@kennyweiss]

I have a playlist full of videos on all types of Narcissists, you should check it out!

[@ameliadimla3468]

Is there a chance that a narcissist to get healed of that behavioral disorder?

[@leeboriack8054]

If someone tries to guilt trip me, I respond w: “I’m not Catholic or Jewish and I’ve had way too much therapy for you to make me feel guilty.”

[@keniasharpe1610]

It’s like talking to a brick wall it’s pointless

[@masteringfibromyalgia]

I have all the traits of being a child of a narcissist

[@bethechange2390]

Can we trade marketing or something else for sessions?

[@pennyhansonl9784]

I think you left out a huge section of children................ the IGNORED.

[@vivdoolan6846]

It was mentioned ......when a child us not allowed to have their own thoughts and feelings, they are ignored / erased.

[@jennifertracykessler2474]

Abuse through omission..you are correct, Penny..this form of abuse is capable of destruction unlike most other forms of abuse in many, many cases. Much appreciation for you taking the time to voice this additional and sizable to boot form of abuse, one that is pervasive and profoundly damaging.

[@aena5995]

It sucks 🤧 mother cared more about the freaking cat ... and she is super annoying won't let me be independent sometimes I wish she dies but the evil ppl always have the longest life 😢 advice?

[@lindabelford3647]

Is it to late at 60 to get trauma healing?

[@kennyweiss]

It’s never too late. Our brain has the ability to create new neural pathways no matter what age we are

[@carolynperry7412]

This was not my father it was my mother

[@redbullwiseman4805]

We are mostly the same Parents from communist Romania come here Seemed like a perfect life but never knew why I was stuck at home At 25 I finally left! They barely talked to me only to call for money . Go figure

[@Stardustpal25]

Really excellent discussion, the topic is very tricky to describe. I appreciate the basics you repeat, its your own peace of mind, believe yourself. 🦸🤗