The 7 Mistakes Targeted Parents Of Parental Alienation Make

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

If you weren’t absolutely sure if your partner is a narc or not .. parental alienation is a 100% sure sign .

[@dpetinatos]

I wish you could elaborate

[@annalynn9325]

@@dpetinatos absolute absence of empathy for the child as they turn the child into a weapon against the person who made them feel abandoned or devalued. They hurt the x but destroy the child (outcomes of alienated children are similar to children who have suffered sexual abuse

[@teresawigton8319]

Amen it happen to me .the kids still don't know it but I'm the bad one ..the grandma was one her son the other ..she never knew what all he did and I never told her about underage family member..I should have .. Mu Mom Said she n Ot believes It I've

[@teresawigton8319]

Pray Really F God opens door Or use it to his glory to show how I can still serve him V E

[@isabelfolgado2900]

I may be wrong , but my ex I bever thiught as a narc mind you the definition is expanding- however he is abusive and toxic , so will say strong narc traits- lets rememberz they dont have to have an NPD Diagnosis

[@kristihutter7499]

My heart aches for anyone going through this, thank you for addressing this issue... Parental Alienation was a spiritual battle for me, good vs evil, once I understood I just focused on being patient, kind and being a good example to our son. I know he is not to blame for "acting" like he hated me...The hard part is taking responsibility for being in a relationship with a person who could use (hurt/manipulate/brainwash) our child to get back at me...I was lucky because I had hope, that was by the grace of God...

[@Hedge_ofthe_earth_fund]

I feel rejected and I was mad at my kids at first but I’m so glad I’m getting information about the truth. I’m so glad that I didn’t take my anger out on my kids because I was rejected and mad but I know it’s not them. They are not acting like they really feel and they need help to. I have always been able to connect with them and just recently it has started with them completely ignoring me and lying to me for my ex wife. I thought the divorce would make things better but things have gotten worse. She takes out her anger on the kids trying to hurt me and if I had known this, I would’ve stayed with her like I did before just sucking it up the just to hold everything together.

[@JPenticton]

I just found out about what my current partner 🤦‍♀️ has been telling my teen daughter for years, and he even told her that if she tells me then I will get mad at him and call police and lie to police that he hit me. He has never hit me. Nor would it ever ever dawn on me to claim that. Only reason I found out about this was I caught my daughter drinking a cooler in her room and because I knew that was not congruent with the person she was I pressed her and turns out she has been secretly drinking, sometimes until she throws up, and it was because of the stress of what her dad had been telling her for the past 4 years. It apparently began on Christmas Day. I work shift work so he only did it while he was alone with her. I knew he was an evil person but I thought he loved our daughter enough not to hurt her. I can’t believe I subjected my child to this type of person. To make this worse, I work in child protection and would think I would know allllllll the warning signs. I f-d up everything and now my daughter is paying the ultimate price. Tomorrow is the first psychology appointment. I hope she can get on a path to healing.

[@recoveringsoul755]

My children were turned Now my siblings are helping. Nobody will talk to me and I suspect the children aren't being allowed to speak. Or else They hold some power over them. They aren't children any more.

[@adventurouspanda9110]

It really really is 💯% a spiritual battle.

[@ginnybenett428]

I have same situation- I’m holding onto hope and have come to realize the problem is bigger than me, I have no control over my DIL mental constant emotional disregulation.

[@tinman10]

My son is 25. I last saw him when he was 6 months old. The hurt never lessens

[@Ranaelibrik]

💞

[@jleach3413]

I pray that he gets curious about you. Xoxo ❤️

[@r.f.9872]

Damn, wish you well

[@anoushiravannarvani5857]

I haven't see my 20 year old for 2 months...doing crazy...I feel for you.

[@shannonstarcher4457]

I’ve just listened to this for the first time. I am crying in my kitchen. “.. the children attach to the abusive parent, and reject the safe, loving one…” My 20 year marriage ended 5 years ago. Our four children are the greatest loves of my life. Parental alienation, coupled with a diagnosed sociopathic narcissist and corrupt/uniformed legal system is Nothing short of standing in a raging fire, watching as your own skin drips off your bones, knowing you are dying, yet surrounded by water, paralyzed and unable to save yourself. My four children have come back, unhealed and have triggers, therefore leading to periods of silent treatment. Two of them are very much still in survival mode . The most difficult part is hearing their memories and how delusional they really are . I understand they were programmed for 3 +years while alienated from me and continue to be. through my healing and heartbreak -I continue to choose love, and choose them. My hope is eventually they will see how to be a parent, and that love is a choice-a decision you make with no reward and in the ugliest of circumstance, and that mom is safe and mom loved me-that mom chose me. Every.Single.Time.❤.

[@waynepolo6193]

Don’t blame yourself if you ever start to feel like them not being able to “move past” what happened means you aren’t loving them enough, or that them being stuck means you’re failing them as a mother. You can be there for them and offer them love and support… but in all honesty… the best thing _any_ parent can do for their children is to be a living demonstration that change, personal growth, and ultimately healing is possible for anyone who chooses it.

[@Thepathof77]

I appreciate this video very much. I’m a mother who has been completely cut out of my children’s lives and it has been hell on earth

[@gunnmorstl1842]

❤ I know. And you are not alone!❤

[@irenahabe2855]

🤗

[@laurarominger2073]

Praying for you. ❤ just had my 18 year old daughter move out for the last time. She lived with her dad for a year because he undermined every thing I did to hold her accountable. And mocked me behind my back. I was the “bad” one. When a year later the ex’s wife had had enough and was saying everything I had been saying for years he decided to do joint custody again. I said but only if my husband and I and my ex and his wife meet so I know this time we’re gonna be on the same page. Believe me I dreaded it. My ex was aloof and hardly involved but agreed. His wife sat there and said everything I had. Anyway we seemed to be on the same page. Lasted maybe 6 months. Again he didn’t enforce curfews (when she failed a class), didn’t monitor it so she could graduate. Of course she wanted to go back there. I implored with both I thought we were on the same page. Nope (I blame my ex on this not his wife). So this week I told her to get the rest of her stuff out. The last few years of broken my heart. But my mine job is to hold her accountable and be responsible and be able to live independently. If I’m the mean parent fine. Btw my daughter is a total narcissist like her dad. Think her biological mom was too (we adopted her). I learned to put up boundaries and not care about what people say about me after the smear campaign when I asked for divorce. Learned not to care what people thought. God knows the truth. When o found out he lied to our son why our marriage broke up (he said I did, but he did) that’s the only time I told the truth about his dad. Many more stories. Sorry I’m telling the whole damn story.

[@desireeperham401]

I am going through the same thing I raised my kids now they think everything about me is bad

[@joanneramsey7723]

Right there with you 💔

[@vickiwithani9857]

A very big part of the problem is that the courts and judges appear to ignore or are oblivious to it.😢 they do not seem to care about the harm that is being done to these children, and they are the ones who can stop the abuse...

[@angelasmiley5000]

They participate in it, they are aware that they do. They have seared their conscience in this area. Their moral compass is gone, because they supposedly have to do it when it comes to supporting CPS ripping children away from good loving parents.

[@ChelleMEis]

100%. I swear I just wrote the same thing on a similar post.

[@jarudolphesq]

They know they can’t fix it so they dump and dash. Courts are jammed.

[@HomeDIYSStuff]

Yes they keep giving them VISITATION rights. Unbelievable! Hugs.

[@jesper1406]

25 years ago I went through a divorce. My kids are 35 and 33, and have in all 5 kids . My grandchildren, that I have never seen. Just this year I have given up connecting to any of them. It's just too big... Now I'm terminally ill, and I will focus on giving myself the love I need for the rest of my life... 😔

[@jamsey3298]

Hugs ❤

[@kellidean7577]

God Bless you! I went to prison for 3 years when mine were little. Have been making up for it for the last 15 years to no avail.

[@roseasher9487]

God bless you and may God bless you with peace for the remaining days that you have left. I promise you unfortunately the kids will regret it when you are gone. I am a step mom. My husband is a sweet man and never questions his daughter he just loves her when he does get to see her and has never confronted the mom. I hope that you find not only peace but Grace for the days that you have left. I promise to pray for you.❤

[@7oclockmiracles88]

I’d encourage you to look into Sue Morter. Her work is outside the box. HOWEVER, she can truly help you heal your body and soul on an earthly level and for me personally-Jesus on a spiritual level. Couldn’t get through the day without him.

[@7oclockmiracles88]

You ARE NOT ALONE OR REJECTED BY US!!!

[@meghannhenley]

I watched this and I felt like I’d had a ton of bricks taken off of me. I also felt a wave of guilt for trying to beg my boys and chasing them at games them running from me. Me sitting and not knowing any better as the alienator drilled him and I and out so much on him. I listen to the recordings and it breaks my heart. When I watched ur videos and I backed off. They started coming to me as secretly as they could. Blowing me a kiss ect. Now I’m so happy. It’s time for me to try to get them home my baby told me they are ready to come home now. They just keep heads down to stay outta trouble. So now I’m working on getting the resources to try to just see now they are older.

[@nancychandler768]

“Parenting is not a 0 to 18 contract.” I keep telling myself that we signed up for life. Thank you for the validation and the encouragement. ❤

[@sarajosh7261]

Yes that is what my eldest sisters thought me ,thanks to them I want be there for them for life , with ups and downs

[@jessgraves83]

I texted my adult son periodically for two years. He came home this summer. Come to find out, I was blocked the entire time. The texts were for me, not for him, in the end. He came home when he was ready; when his dad discarded him permanently and my son finally saw him for who he was. It truly has to be about them.

[@marisena8516]

Hugs to you ❤

[@randpherigo9724]

ive been texting over a year.. no reply. his mom prolly has me blocked

[@jos2701]

My ex is trying to alienate my son (20 yrs old) from me. He abused both kids, and now my son lives with him. In my divorce papers, it clearly states that neither parent can speak poorly of the other, guess what the ex is doing, I know what he's saying - I have evidence. My son visits periodically, but it's awkward. He barely replies to my texts. We used to have a really close relationship. My hope is that one day, both my kids sees what their father is doing, but I'm afraid I'll be the one completely cut out of their lives. I have nightmares about it. All that said, I understand what you're all feeling. I hope your kids see through it all and come back to each of you.

[@sherrymechum7102]

So glad he come home

[@sherrymechum7102]

You give up parental rights, I can’t listen to you any more after that

[@shelibreen2029]

I just came across this video. Thank you for sharing your story and suggestions in navigating through this nightmare. I'm 5 1/2 yrs into no contact with my now 20 yr old daughter. The pain is unbearable and throws me into such a deep depression. I'm watching videos and reading up on parental alienation as much as I can so I can better understand what is happening. I cried with you during this video. God bless you 🙏 ❤

[@therange4033]

Sheli, you are not alone. Its awful but it wont kill you.... unless you let it. Much love.

[@fayebeinlich8657]

Ditto on your comment. Only difference is my daughter is 43 years old. Now what to do?

[@DS8050-c3w]

I once heard it say " to ignore evil is to become accomplice to it" no one should retaliate I understand that but no one should stop fighting and stand up for truth and to defend those who are too weak to defend themselves, the alternative is hell, evil gets bigger if you choose to look the other way, we leave innocent people in hell longer than its necessary and sometimes the damages is irreparable.

[@makaylaforbes6719]

This was something that I never understood. I watched my father doing this with my younger brother. Every time my brother wanted to see our mother, my father would ask him why would you want to see her? She abandoned you. It bothered me to the point I told my father to never speak like that with him again. I was an adult by then, my brother was a teenager. Those aren't games to play with your kids, and kids aren't pawns to use against a partner who hurt you. I see it through every divorce and I get that everyone needs to feel like someone should be on their side, but to involve kids in this has always been beyond me.

[@marisena8516]

I've been making that 6th mistake, trying to show/tell the truth. Set the record straight. It is so difficult to watch this happen and hear the things he's telling me that his dad says about me! Almost 2 years of it so far.

[@talirubinnow]

Thank you for this Lost all my 3 kids in 2019 In the beginning I couldn’t Fight because I knew I wasn’t the perfect mother But as I day deep I realize that I was the safe one I am still so broken so I will just keep praying for them to find their way out of his hold.

[@hannaheye]

There is a lot you can do even from afar!

[@itsinthewords]

@@hannaheye I don't have it in me...yet...still licking my wounds.

[@meghannhenley]

Keep ur head up…. One day we will have them back and they will know the truth.

[@akingturtle]

My ex wife is 10/10 the worst parental alienator to have ever lived. My children who I had a authentic, normal relationship with 11 month's ago dont even want to greet me today. Their anxiety levels have increased, school progress hindered etc. I could never as a father just leave my kids to the mother. Would you leave your kids with a rapist? Why would anyone decide to leave their child with somebody that commits a violent abuse of a minors psychological and emotional state! It's hard to stay. Hard to fight. But as their father it's the only option and I will overcome this challenge for the sake of my children's wellbeing and safety. Thought's and prayers are with every parent experiencing parental alienation. Take one day at a time and leave no stone left unturned. Aluta continua!!

[@njstone9]

This is exactly how I feel.

[@akingturtle]

It's now been 18 months since the separation and alienation started. I've won in court and after an assessment was done, the boys are confirmed to be severely alienated. We've been attempting therapy and reversal of the alienation now for 3 months. It has not been a linear improvement at all. In fact, things have regressed. I've recently listened to a recording of my 9 year old screaming at his mother, swearing, he has been attacking her and more. This boy was a calm, soft, respectable and respectful boy prior to alienation. He sounded like a possessed child that I hardly recognised. Swearing, violent outbursts. Anyone who tells me that there comes a time where you need to walk away and allow them to return does not know what they're talking about. I'm a die hard father. I will not leave my sons. I will get them the help and therapy whatever the cost. He is 9 now. I can still save his childhood and ensure he grows up to be who he is truly meant to be. His lovely authentic self. All prayers go out to the parents enduring this!!! God bless.

[@njstone9]

My son is 14. The alienation started about 16 or 17 months ago. My ex is trying to take him back to her home country and this is the wedge she is using to turn him against me, because I won't let him go, as I know that then I'll have no access to him at all. What you said about your child being unrecognisable really resonates with me. I've tried multiple psychologists but with no breakthrough so far. If my son ever starts to become closer to me, the next time I see him he's been freshly radicalised against me once again. The pain I'm going through is just unbearable. No one should have to endure this.

[@SarahAlyafee-Abbott]

You are a parent to millions of parents, grandparents and their kids Kenny ❤ you have no idea the healing power you’re sending to millions and millions of people through your videos. thank you so so much, I so appreciate all that you do to educate people.

[@jacquelinevd977]

Couldn’t agree more!! No guts, no glory!! ❤❤❤

[@deannahafsasalam5784]

😥😥😔😔 I'm experiencing this right now. She is 8 yrs old and this entire situation has devastated me. Thank you so much God sent this video to me at the right time. I was feeling so low and thinking my daughter doesn't love me. She even told me she didn't like me.

[@laurarominger2073]

❤

[@staceytunstill4041]

My son told me it was my fault that me and his dad divorced. He said 'I'll never forgive you'. He was 11. Honey, I am so sorry.

[@laurarominger2073]

@@staceytunstill4041 I’m so so sorry. It’s devastating ❤️🙏

[@Llelewynnose]

I’m in it, my 8 year old daughter has so much rage and anger, she hits me nearly every day, she says she hates me as soon as I try to get her to take a shower, change or do schoolwork., belittles and insults me. I walk on eggshells, Her Dad is Disney Land, enmeshed with her. He shuts me down to have convos about her, get on the same page to create structures, tells me I’m incompetent, autistic, don’t realize my impact on others. He indulges her whims-few limits. If I try to parent I get undermined. Im financially dependent. I find it hard to connect with her ever since her baby brother was born. I have let her disrespect me, and I don’t know how to reclaim my power. The more she pushes me away I don’t know how to the baby is pushing me away. Mimicking I’m praying for answers. Scared to go to the domestic violence shelter. I don’t trust Dad with her. Their relationship is inappropriate, and enmeshed. I just want to die this is so painful to see her in pain, I know I’ve made mistakes and made her feel unsafe. How can I make her feel safe when I feel so unsafe emotionally?

[@njstone9]

My son repeatedly says he doesn't like me. It hurts so much. It's unbearable.

[@Al-nq6nf]

Wow. This video has blown my mind, it is both so painful but also so necessary. You can only be right, but yet I want to believe that we can have some hope that our children will be willing, consciously willing to be in touch with us. How despairing can it be otherwise?

[@elainesmith5313]

This is very validating for me I was married to a Vulnerable Covert Narcissist for 45 yrs His attachment to his Mother was absolutely unbelievable . He died this year, her jealously of me had been apparent for May years . Since he died she has discarded me...thsnk God. No contact for me is a blessing . He lived a miserable life, for 67 yrs. There was No Way for him to break free. She absolutely drained him dry of emotion. He had nothing left to give his own family. You are right!! Totally Evil! Have recovered... But still much to work out emotionally. Thank you!

[@barblerdal2104]

My husband died when my son was 18…unfortunately he remains his hero 8 years later.lm ready to just fade away so my heart will stop hurting.

[@jacquelinevd977]

Very brave of you to come forward! I cried 3 days in a row as my daughter suffered as well. At least I admitted it and started working on myself. Now our bond is closer than ever. My daughter didn't forgive me instantly. I had to proove myself and time is healing! Because of my devouring mom, I suffered from childhood trauma and went no contact with my narc sister. My daughter went no contact with her aunt 1 5 year ago.

[@emj3677]

I waited until my children were grown before leaving my husband. It was during the divorce he did a severe character assassination of me. Its been over 15 years since I have seen two of my children. I clung to the one grown daughter who I didn't realize was collaborating with him to 'smear me more'. I have rebuilt my life and have sought counseling over this, my heart still has a hole in it, filled with hurt that can't be filled. I try to 'look on but it is so, so hard. My heart breaks for all the other parents going through this. Thank you for your contribution to us parents suffering in pain. ❤

[@Hedge_ofthe_earth_fund]

I wish I waited! Big mistake. She has been so much worse.

[@laurarominger2073]

My heart breaks for you. I understand ❤

[@emj3677]

Thank you for your kind responses. 💕❤

[@kprince1131]

I stumbled onto your videos yesterday and I’m thankful. Your real and raw emotion is like a breath of fresh air for me. I’m in a situation similar to yours with grown children and it doesn’t get easier. Thank you for your honesty and helping me to start understanding how I can save my sanity and my children’s. I feel like someone else gets the pain and I’m not alone. I just want to do what’s in my children’s best interest. Bless you and your children.

[@kennyweiss]

Thank you so much!!

[@benbessette8911]

4 years ive been fighting for my kids. I have girls age 8 and 10 that are seggsualy active. Ive been raising holy hell. Having the finger pointed at me even. All this getting swept under the rug. Mom doing saying whatever it takes to turn the kids against me. Every weekend i see the pain in their faces. Mom has been on a 4 year bender, pawning kids off on whoever will take them. Im a combat veteran of the 82nd airborne. Ive seen some long, hard, painful days. But they dont even compare to the mental torment of the last few years. I was suicidal in 21, most of 22. And im ashamed of that, because i am literally their Rock. It makes me nautious to think of their life without me. I just needed to vent, and im asking for prayers. God bless yall

[@r.f.9872]

Hope things get better for you.

[@jameswilson1884]

Your a wise man. Thank you for sharing your wisdom

[@booknikYT]

As someone who is just started going through this now, this video has helped. Its hard to reach out to people for support because everyone assumes that we did something horrible to deserve it. The alienator has been laying down the groundwork to turn others against you as well, it is guaranteed. I lost life long friends because my ex went on a smear campaign saying I was abusive. I never laid a hand on that woman, I was never verbally abusive. If that was not the case then they would want to give unsolicited advice as to what I should be doing. I havent found an online community that was complete dumpster fire...

[@stemtostern7611]

My friend if thats taking place you need a Full Court Press within the law you need to be doing. Learn the laws.

[@ITholeLeNdlovu]

You are not alone in this unfortunate situation. Thanks for sharing

[@emilybreeding3518]

This is the 2nd video I've watched of yours and I'm so grateful I've found you. We've been dealing with this for over a year now, when the ex tried to sue us, and ever since I've been researching alienation and narcissism. You've hit home on so many points and you've allowed us to see this from an entirely different angle. I hope and pray we will be able to do a counseling session with you. This is a tremendous and emotional revelation and you came to us when we needed it the most. Thank you.

[@EleanorWild-s1r]

Is it bad that I don't cry anymore? I feel so numb from the despair I went through when my children were stolen from me. I feel like I can't feel anymore. But whatever I did or said was always wrong or 'crazy'. I had to walk away and the pain was unbearable. Everything you describe is 100% accurate. Unfortunately I have made some of these mistakes and I know I can't take it back. But in this situation you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't so you are always going to be fighting a losing battle. It's nothing but hell.

[@johnrubio330]

Yes! I agree with you.

[@zifangkb2061]

Yes. I stop fighting and fighting is not healthy anyway. Being a good role model is a test, and we can grow through it even though Ignorance of the legal and psychological treatment system could also be very harmful. I feel so sorry for the child to go through it. We need to work together to treat this sickness and self healed in society as targeted parents. Thank you for sharing with us. We love you! ❤

[@cmajor8802]

I appreciate you sharing your honest self reflections and knowledge acquired on this matter. I'm the parent being alienated. I feel that no one understands how difficult and heartbreaking this situation is unless they have experienced it. I'm doing my best. Keep sharing. You're helping a lot of people.

[@kennyweiss]

You are so welcome!

[@millenials_best]

God bless you Kenny. Your sincerity is immensely appreciated.

[@kennyweiss]

Thank you😁

[@lauratruthseekingWarrior]

My son just started alienating me over 2 years ago. HE is 27, I'm 61. I miss him every single day, my only living child. 😪 we were so close before he was put on schizophrenia meds, and before and even after the divorce in 2012.

[@swait239]

I really like what you are doing Kenny. I can see you processing what’s going on with your children in a very healthy way, I can see it, feel it. Your children will watch these videos when you pass much later in life and will grow well as a result. I’m a father of a 5 year old and find great wisdom in your journey. Thank you for documenting this, and being so honest. You inspire me. I’m 37. I definitely need to work on some healing before I bring another child to this world. You sharing about your parenting experience has taught me about my issues. It’s so hard to brake out of the patterns of our parents, to grow.

[@kennyweiss]

Thank you

[@bhorleston]

They probably won't grow well as a result of watching this video after he passes. It's likely they will watch this video, feel no emotion whatsoever, or if they have managed to break free of the manipulation, they will feel guilty and live the rest of their life full of remorse. Seriously, this is not good advice to just give up and leave a child with an abuser. It allows the abuser to validate that you never cared about them.

[@swait239]

@@bhorleston I believe Kenny does everything within his power to connect with his children. I believe he will have positive outcomes with his children, despite his many mistakes as a father, which he takes responsibility for. His children should be proud.

[@angelinacsanchez6602]

Thank you so much!!! This beast almost killed me. I’m in therapy now and being educated is the answer. You are a true warrior! Your heart shows so clearly. The more we spread the truth, the more chains will be broken.!!!!!! Thank you again!

[@uphold2001]

I am currently experiencing this, I am 4 months in - children have gone no contact - I've been trying to navigate and make sense of all of it. I've consumed so much information about this subject, and I completely lost my composure at point #2. I am so lost, and I needed to hear this. I hate this so much and am watching my kids' childhood trauma develop before my very eyes. My heart goes out to all the targeted parents and their children. No one should have to go through this; it's the most pain I've ever felt in my life, and I've suffered my share of losses in my time.

[@uphold2001]

...and this is one of the most honest videos about this subject I have ever seen. You're right, I can see your pain in your eyes, the emotion in your words...thank you for sharing your information and research and being vulnerable with the rest of us.

[@a.w.3500]

This is the first KZbin video that I ever cried to. I am going through being alienated from my children. I miss them so much, but I know that I have to let this run its course. I cry at the thought of saying goodbye to them. And I hope and pray to be reunited with them soon. I feel your pain. I just want to be a part their lives. But I know I have to accept reality. Thank you for your your insight. I will continue to stay strong and keep moving forward.

[@ketomania5426]

I am so hopeful our kids will one day have their eyes open to the truth and they return to us. We will have to stay strong until that day, whether it comes or not. For now, it is so good to know we are not alone.

[@drdadcamp]

Great video, Kenny. I first came upon this in April 2023. 35:20 very touching. Great concepts such as alienated kids will align with an unhealthy alienator. Kids deserve to live in reality, so stay strong, healthy, well, for yourself and for your children.

[@nikkichadsey4712]

Spot on brother I completely agree with everything you've said. I too am a step parent who is going through this with 2 adolescent boys . It's ( I think) even more difficult to navigate for us because we have a terminally ill son also who is 24 hr care which throws a giant wrench into the whole dynamic of our family. I'm trying to be a father for them and spend time with them but also trying to keep my youngest alive and happy. It can get overwhelming at times but... the only way to even have a chance is to pray and let God guide me. I'll never give up on them tho.

[@ellecritch8335]

I cried through this entire video. I have never felt so seen. The pain 4+ years in is just devastating. Like you said, it’s “too big” 😭😭💔

[@Aniahs1Mommy]

Thanks!

[@kennyweiss]

You are so very welcome 😁

[@CaitFinnegan-Grenier]

You are so REAL. Thank you.

[@izzyb1980]

I can’t help but put some blame onto my alienated children. They have their own mind and know what the truth is. They are complicit to a degree with alienating me from them. I’ve had to cope with this as though I’ve lost my children to death. It’s the only way I know I can move forward in my life. Grieving the loss of a living child is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.

[@ninunife5242]

I understand what you are saying because I've felt that way too. But the problem is that they don't have their own mind. Their minds was stolen. That is the truth. Some things are hard to understand. I'm so sorry that it has come to the point where you have to grieve their loss.

[@HealthyMom247]

@@ninunife5242 I think it's like they are in jail, held captive. They want a relationship but can't have one right now. The children do willingly take part in it, and I think it's their internal predisposition that allows it. At some point they have to take responsibility for their role in it.

[@danequabonner1340]

I'm going through the same thing right now with my 11 yr old. And I cry alll the time because that's exactly what it feels like... mourning a living death smh so sad

[@EB-vs9tr]

I respectfully disagree with part of what you say. When your kid says she wants to go back to the other parent's house during your parenting time, i don't think it's best to bring the child back and giving in to her desire. Your parenting time is important to develop that special relationship with your kid. If you give your kid to the other parent, you lose that and the bond gets weaker. The child needs both parents in her life. Your kid doesn't always know what's best, but you do as a parent. If it were up to my child, she wouldn't ever want to go to school and she would eat ice cream all day. We, as responsible adults, have to guide them on what is appropriate and healthy.

[@HealthyMom247]

Listening to him say that it's okay to send the child back negated everything else he says. If you read or listen to Amy Baker, the PA expert, she will say that you need as much time with your child as you can get. I think this advice is off base.

[@EB-vs9tr]

@@HealthyMom247 I agree with you. I think it will only weaken the bond you have with your child.

[@HealthyMom247]

@@EB-vs9tr I can tell you it will. I have a 13yr old that I have not seen since Feb 10th. The alienation has taken over. This has not helped anyone get healthier.

[@fitness..moveyoullgetit5832]

Yeah it's bad advice, and opposite of everything I've read and watched on the subject. By simply allowing the child to go back to the abuser, the alienated parent is just confirming what every alienator says about the alienated parent; "they don't want to see you." It's just feels like giving up and taking the easy way out. Like someone commented in a different comment though, there are degrees of alienation,, and if it's gotten so bad, than maybe that approach makes sense. I guess no matter which way you go the kids are screwed either way, because either they're going to be stuck with a mentally ill abuser for a hundred percent of the time, but not have to deal with the mixed emotions..or have shared custody with the continued manipulation. There are no winners in this.

[@SesadiRamatla]

It’s easy to judge that it’s a bad advice when you have not experienced this. We are also human beings and it’s so frustrating when you are a parent who tries everything to show you love them and absolutely nothing you do for them is ever good enough for them. It’s emotionally draining and heartbreaking.

[@sabdu32]

Kenny Weiss, thank you for sharing your story. I can see the pain in your eyes and the love you have for your kids and the wisdom you've gained through your pain. Like you, I'm in a lot of pains per my son's mum alienating me to him. I've been blessed listening to you right now - this video will inform how I approach my son going forward. I will never give up. I still believe!! Thanks a million.

[@kennyweiss]

You are so welcome

[@through.a.barrel.she.breathes]

Despite being the primary caregiver for most of their life before I watched you videos I discovered I was causing them harm by cutting out the middle man and defending myself against lies but now I am very, very physically ill and I don't know if I can do it so have opted out for now as I learned from you that sometimes being the kindest parent is parenting from a distance. I just hope they never see the real him. The pain is unbearable and throws me into such a deep depression.

[@autumnlara3803]

You are my HERO 😭🙏🏼💜💜 alienated mother of 3 children. Currently 12 years. Current ages 17,16&12 . My 16 year old has recently reached out and I’m trying to learn healthy ways the re learn my child and be the safe person for her. She wants to live with me but “doesn’t want to take it back to court” I’m scared this is all a set up or way to keep hurting me. My biological mother and father are the alienating parents/gaurdians. My mother alienated my siblings and I, my father and I and now my own children and I. I just want to break the generational curse. 😭😭😭 thank you for what you do.

[@craigdunning5123]

@kenny Weiss - just curious, you mentioned “in the third video you’ll learn skills,techniques”, what video are you referencing? I would like to watch. Timestamp 9:12

[@morrisgunnells1834]

Thanks Kenny for this video. You were teaching us how to be vulnerable and honest and humble towards our kids and everyone. This is so important for all of us to learn.

[@MsGabiele]

Great video. Thank you for this amazing work! Justice will come when children will have children themselves…all feelings from the past are stored in the body. They will feel the love then, they will have flash backs and they will slowly understand….the difference between feelings and words. I believe truth and love comes back one day….

[@jencycarmenate3190]

Hi Kenny. I don’t know you and I’ve never seen you before but I know and feel a similar pain. After 3 years divorced and knowing through the last few years the other parent speaking ill of me, my new wife and I just experienced our first public display of alienation and it destroyed me. Seeing my daughter walk past me and not even look at me even though i was either sitting or standing a few feet away just devastated me. How has it come to this? What can i do? The anger, frustration, the tsunami of self doubts, questions, feelings in my head was overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your most painful experience with us, so that we can begin to deal with it the right way as the Unconditional Loving Parent. Because a real father/mother/parent would never ever put their children through that lifelong child abuse call Alienation. God bless and I will pray and hope THAT ALL OF US will get to have a relationship with our kids. Thank you for your help Sir.

[@ladyk2002]

you look great in that suit. Royal blue is one of my favorite colors. 🤔 I wonder because of the level of trauma some of us travel to find the skills to navigate parenting. Growing up in a traumatic child hood.. I searched for what life could look like and had to accept all the imperfections despite of what I wanted. I so appreciate your honesty and yes letting go hurts and the helplessness we feel , one day it will all make sense. I am so blessed to let go and the relationship I have with my kids doesn't look like I would want but it sure is good to see them when they want. Thanks Kenny.. I appreciate your open , kind heart

[@kaylamoore3312]

I remember the day I told one of my step daughters "if being mean to us is what you have to do to stay safe from your mom, then that's what you have to do" may have not been the best thing to say, especially outright talking about her "mother" but I will never forget the look on her face.. the look of relief.. and it shouldn't be that way, if we're talking about right and wrong then you'd think the right thing to do is show and tell them everything so that they don't end up like the other parent and continue to be abused by them but that just isn't the case. The more nice you are, the more you make them see, the closer you get.. the more abuse they go through. If we don't get back custody after this last court battle (5th time of being accused of abuse) then we're done because the more we fight for them, the more their mother kills them.

[@kennyweiss]

Beautifully said. And that’s what I had to do. Let them go because it was in my CHILD’s best interest.

[@StealBackYourHeart]

This is what I needed. I don't know how to thank you. I will be the role model of love that I came here to be. And I think you are right, I can enjoy this journey immensely! I am no longer a prisoner myself!

[@kennyweiss]

You're so welcome!

[@adriannabradford4880]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@candaceszkaradek8967]

You were amazing to hear. You put the truth out there. You didnt candy coat anything because im going through this and its like death.

[@ShawnicornMindshiftCoaching]

I so needed to watch this video right now, in this moment. Both my kids are estranged from me and its awful. Other people have told me theyll come back. Their adult kids, 24 and 28, out of the family home. 21 years I gave him everything and he gave me trust issues, mental delapadation, and took my kids. Their mine. Biologically, they are mine. Hes step dad. This is terrible. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I had almost given up hope. Thank you for making me see where Im going wrong and what direction I need to go in to get them back. TYSM!!! I am sobbing, typing this. I have very few people in my life, as most my family all sides, are toxic as hell. Im no contact with all my immediate family, aside from my ex stepdad and my exstepbro, because they are dad and bubby, my real family.

[@susandrn]

This is still going on for me 30 years later. Both of my sons moved to a faraway state. We kept in touch at a distance. Then my ex moved to the same city. Now I have a grandchild. My ex and his new wife had the baby shower at their house! I simply sent my baby gifts to my son directly. I'm trying to figure out how I can have a relationship with this baby. I'm praying about it and taking my time. I know both of my sons are as anxious and uncomrotable as I am. Thank you for saying that I'm the safe parent! It explains everything.

[@kennyweiss]

Happy to help!

[@RadicalXpressions]

My alienator is a narcissist and studied Early Childhood Education, and our son who he's alienating has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). It's been VERY easy for him to manipulate and my relationship with our children has deteriorated very quickly. In just 1 month they've stopped showing me any affection and hardly even acknowledge me. This is the second man who's done this to me! 😭

[@sherrymechum7102]

My child is 16 so pretty soon he needs to know the truth, it’s child neglect to not teach and make them aware of dangers in the world even if it’s their parent. I do agree to try and stay positive and never blame the child when they’re being controlled by th np

[@IsHeARealOneVadaRealMC]

This was hard to hear... I was a single dad for 9 years before I got married and I've always had full custody of my daughter who is now 15. I technically still do. However, the last month has been very hard for reasons I won't explain in this comment section. I do think that at some point the outreach becomes more about us than our child(ren). If I hadn't already gone through so many hours of therapy, I don't think that I would accept that statement. But I do believe it to be true.

[@farzanajumaye3822]

May God bless and reward you immensely for your work of simplifying those complicated psychological concepts and including the spiritual aspects of human relationships.

[@ConradAllon]

Watching and listening to Kenny as confirmed what i was already thinking, that i have and am surrounded by Narcs. Four children to three different mothers. I have picked them? My son who is 15 years old now said to me your nothing like they have led me to believe? Its been six months now since i have seen him and ghosted again for the several time. But going into the family court arena for the last time, because time is running out. My daughter is 21 this month ghosted for 5 years, all started when ex got a new man, had a second daughter. My oldest son who i have mentioned ex partner. Then my youngest daughter 3 and son coming up 1 ghosted for 2 months now she's back talking? mediation on Friday. Been heart breaking but got some clarity now and back on the mend. Thank you Kenny x You maybe miles away from me in England

[@jessewilliams102]

You’re describing my life right now. I realized my daughters mom acts out in more hurtful ways whenever I’m around to point out what’s going on. It seems like pointing out the narcissistic mothers behavior just triggers a land mine and everybody gets hurt. I hit the like button. When you mentioned they cling to the abusive parent as a form of survival, and they feel safe, knowing I would not condemn her for any reason. that’s very comforting. Thank you.

[@jessewilliams102]

I really appreciate you bringing yourself to the position to teach people the reality of the situations. This is such a common issue. I don’t see how it wouldn’t bring people together to shine a light bright enough to break through this black hole. I am with you man. I know anyone with a heart is with you also.

[@tonyuzan7171]

I really appreciate the sincerity of your message. But I have to say, I’m not sure I agree with your first rule. I think it’s important to not impose your will on your children, and to not make sure they’re seeing you just on your terms. But at the same time, because they are so confused, You need to account for the fact that they are much better off by having you in their life somehow. Because when you’re not in their life, that means their primary, and nearly only role model is the alienating parent. And as you described, very eloquently, that person has lots of problems. so is it really fair to leave your child to be parented exclusively by this other disturbed parent.? I suggest it’s a balancing act. You have to balance your ability to be in their lives, and influence them to some degree, with the fact that you don’t want to be coercing them and forcing them to see you either. It’s a delicate balance. in some cases, I can see how that balance could become impossible to achieve without really becoming forceful with your child. And just like you said, in those situation’s now you have two parents that are pulling on their children. But there is a slippery slope here. It is not always so clear that your child is going to resist that much. As all of the research suggests, they’re varying degrees of alienation. And so I suppose, one of the variables, here, is whether your child is severely alienated, or just moderately or mildly alienated. For a severely alienated child, you basically don’t really have a choice. For a mildly alienated child, it seems silly to just give up on your time with them, even though they’re feeling pressured to not see you. And with a moderately alienated child, I think it all depends on exactly what’s happening. So again this is complicated And I don’t think you can apply a rule to this aspect of your relationship with your child. So I’m sorry, I don’t agree with all of your rules,, but I do agree I think with the other six. God bless you for having the courage to do what’s right, and to share your feelings so openly.

[@kennyweiss]

Of course, there are subtleties, and each situation is unique and will have its own challenges. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, and I appreciate your kind words.

[@LoveAndPeace5D]

Yes I agree, because children can develop severe personality disorders when raised by someone with a personality disorder.

[@rplace8737]

You are absolutely right. I did exactly what you did. The kids were alienated from me but I didn't make them pay for it. I am the safe parent, and even though I have not seen my kids in over a decade, I do love them and always had their best interest at heart.

[@JPenticton]

Thank you, from the absolute bottom of my heart. I just found out about what my CURRENT partner has been doing for 4 years to our daughter with regards to parental alienation. She has turned to alcohol to cope with all the absolutely horrendous things she has been told - I only found out because I caught her drinking and she completed broke down and spilled. My daughters devastation has utterly crushed my soul. But the fact that I exposed her to this person has all but taken my oxygen, and sometimes, even at work my oxygen is gone and I can’t catch my breath. I work in child protection and every second call is about a teen who is drinking, a parent with issues with the other, or a child being emotionally abused. Every time I hang up the phone, I have to get a Kleenex to get the tears out of my eyes before someone notices and so I can keep typing without them running down my cheeks. So please know, you have helped me today, even if this video hurt too, it really helped.

[@tanyakennedy8584]

Thank you, for this video. I cried with you and making decisions for the children, it was the hardest thing I've ever did. Spent so many nights crying and wondering if I did the right thing when everyone was telling me I was a bad mother for not fighting enough for them. Seemed so many didn't understand that it wasn't about me but about my CHILDREN and always will be about them.

[@baccaratfitness2360]

Thank you for this video. It was very helpful. Besides the extreme pain and never ending grief is how the disbelief doesn’t seem to dissipate. It’s coming up on two years since I’ve seen my daughter. She at least was 17 when I had to leave so I’m grateful for that. My situation is compounded by the fact that my ex is suffering from paranoid personality disorder with delusions and she’s a former lawyer and an extreme bully. I know she’s acting from a traumatic experience but it doesn’t diminish the pain.

[@alysiarobles5643]

Everything u went through im going through right now and my daughters 15 an her father has been trying everything to tare me down and his parents payed for his attorney im doing this all by self we've been to court

[@mariaviscer3375]

Thank you for your story and knowledge. It takes a whole lot to let go of your child as an alienated parent. I have let go more and more and I have become stronger. Yes I miss my daughter each and every day but I am more at peace. The more I was wanting a relationship with her the more her narcissistic alienating dad became more abusive and the alienation became worse. Now my daughter seems indeed more at peace and I pray each day she will return one day. She is almost 18 now. Perfectly Imperfect! Love it! I actually have a t-shirt with that saying anf have started to love myself more and stopped blaming myself for the situation.

[@MrsKAS1]

7:26 I needed to hear this. Thank you

[@kennyweiss]

You are so very welcome!

[@KeithBruce-n3n]

30:26 I can’t believe the hell I have been through for the last 18 years. I originally went to a treatment centre for my alcoholism the centre and AA gave me the tools to be sober to this day but what they did not give me were any tools to defend myself against a narcissistic spouse who did everything to destroy me. I’m sure it’s a form of PTSD disorder as to this day I struggle with demons.

[@meghannhenley]

7 years now. And the day I seen this video a year ago or so. Helped me more than anything. I dunno what to do? Do I fight or do I continue to stand bk and just show up? This is the children’s father first cuz.. I just want them safe and happy. She causes such a scene when she sees me. I fought hard at first. (Outside of court) not having money for court. She’s completely cut me out now. All I have is games. I mess up her false narrative. God bless u for sharing this info you’ve helped me so so much

[@everettepouncey4049]

You are a very good teacher. I am so grateful for you and your work!!!!

[@ichikosudo1054]

You are amazing. I am learning so much. Please keep it coming. I am better for the time I spend with you.

[@kennyweiss]

Deal!

[@laurarominger2073]

First time listening. You are incredibly fair and always take children’s needs above everything. The targeted parent makes mistakes. We’re human. But we can learn to do better. God bless you. ❤🙏

[@kimmmoon.]

I miss my now adult son so much. Hes missing so many good things for the past 7 years. I listened to this whole video even though it was hard to hear. As a mother my children are on my mind constantly and trying to forget that is very unnatural...the nurturer in me is deep.

[@justchill135]

I really appreciate this video. Point 2 means so much to me. I'm full of shame and regret. Thank you.

[@sonyaclove4178]

God bless you, Mr. Weiss.

[@5675421]

This was such a beautiful video. My child has just been abducted and I've been told I either move to a country I don't have a future in or not see my child. I am so unbelievably angry and resentful right now. The sincerity of your message is so obvious here. And so touching that it has gotten through my anger to remind me that all my punishment strategies and ways of feeling like I'm standing up for myself are futile and unrighteous. As you say, one partner needs to be a source of safety, though it's hard to be that when you're not there. Thank you for your honesty. And for the reminder that it IS too big for any one person to handle alone. I will reach out for help. Kindest regards, Damian

[@clarekramer411]

Thank you for this, I really has made me feel better. I've known this has been the case for about 10 years to my adult children. They were primed for many many years before I left and after. I think I've made a lot of those mistakes, but I really get what you're saying about modeling and the unconditional part. That makes sense to me because I've always done those two things. It's also nice to realize that I will always be a parent just not the way I thought. Thanks dude I really am grateful

[@nfixion]

My beautiful Daughter once told me emphatically, "you are so selfish, making this about you! " it hit me what she really meant, and I lover her enough to let go.

[@sn8323]

Your pain IS about you. But children and teenagers aren't able to encompass that truth yet. 😢

[@margyrowland]

THANK YOU 🙏 I’m an alienated Grandmother loving them silently from afar

[@kennyweiss]

You’re welcome

[@MelanieNichols-ej5py]

Thank you so much! I just now found you and am only halfway through this video but as an alienated grandma, you have already taught me so much! I'm hitting the subscibe button!

[@kennyweiss]

You are so welcome!

[@JudyQuintana-q9s]

Thank you for your honesty, strength and vulnerability. I never doubted that you are a parent.

[@DinaMichelleLMT]

Dear Kenny, this is the most PROFOUND conversation I have come across in 7 years. I am so proud of myself too!! Amen.

[@heatherwentz]

Thank you for this video. I shared it in my group. I know a lot of people won't agree with your tactics. But thats for them to navigate. My daughter after dealing with this her whole life from probably around 2 has not seen it. I knew something was off. I figured it out last year. And well the alienator must have been informed because my daughter blocked me a year ago. I tried to send love and Christmas last year. Never have got a response. Still waiting. But I let my daughter also have her boundaries. I figured if I'm out of the situation she will start to look at their behaviors instead of mine. I recently tried to call and left a message. Never have I heard back from her she lives two states away. She's almost 26 and well im not pushing and im not bothering her. I figure if she figures it out I will be here for her. This was a hard video to watch. I feel your pain too. Hugs. I hope one day your children come back to you. I hope my daughter does too. But sadly I may have some hope but its fading. I have spent this time Learning as much as I can on this subject so I can help others. I hope to start a group to help others deal with this too. Helping others I believe helps me too. It just doesn't take the pain away. Being a scapegoat child. My family is not supportive and or not very helpful or ones I can rely upon. I don't have really anyone to rely upon. So I figured I'd start a group and finding others in this situation I feel could help me. The group on Facebook im in has been a great help. That supportive group has been so helpful and supportive. I'm on year 3 of learning about narcissism and it forever changed my life for the good. But understanding everything has darkened my life understanding of all I went through. I can only imagine all my daughter has been through. Thank you for this message so that these parents can understand everything better.

[@IlzeJansenVanRensburg]

THANK YOU, KENNY YOU ARE GOD SENT. I BEGIN TO SEE HOPE. MAY GOD BLESS YOU EVERY PARENT!

[@jann9507]

Thank you for your post; You have spelt out the issues and after effects on the child so well.

[@purepressurefitness4014]

This the best video I ever seen on alienation out of everything I've ever watch, you really take the time to spread out the machanics of what's going on

[@roseasher9487]

Kenny, I am a stepmom who has witness this with my husband's youngest daughter. She is now 27 and I think well she's an adult she knows better thank you for enlightening me she does not know better. This has been going on with her for years thanks for the eye-opener.

[@stevebruce1235]

Kenny i have shared your video with several freinds and family, we are talking about things we never knew existed, this has helped me communicate with friends and family I'm working on coming to terms with the man in the mirror learning how to accept me for who I am Just Want to Thank You Kenny

[@kennyweiss]

You’re welcome

[@donikatod460]

I discovered your channel because of that viral video - after I googled something specifically on alienation and parenting. And I'm glad I did!

[@tanyadreschel6040]

Thank you, this might be the most helpful information I have seen on parental allination. I been going through this for 6 years. Nothing more than hell, hell is probably easier.

[@kennyweiss]

Glad it was helpful!

[@CampfireFiction1010]

It's difficult to accept that there are people who could treat you so cruelly as to brainwash their children to hate their other parent. Why do I feel a sense of disappointment towards my child for falling for this manipulation? I am beginning to accept that I will never see my child again and that maybe I should begin to say that I don't have a child if anybody asks. My parenting journey does feel over. She called me an egg donor after being her only parent for 12 years while he was off being an absent parent, not paying child support, not calling. There is a scar on my heart that will never heal.

[@michelewhitewolf9856]

I can not express enough my appreciation for your clear and concisely expressed definitions. I was lost as to what expectations i should have. In my situation. Definitions are essential in this world where mis and dis information abounds, and you're being the adult in the room letting in the light that illuminates the real human issues , and the way to properly understand and handle them.

[@skimaction]

This is happening to me now. I feel like I’m losing my 12yo son, he picked his narcissistic fathers side. He wants to live there. I don’t understand. We’ve always been so, so, so close, best friends. Until I finally could leave his father. Then everything changed. I’m heartbroken.

[@figuniohp5225]

Wish you lot of strength, I know what you feel I have same situation. Try be strong please and don't lose hope ❤

[@WhiteTigress144]

I have often felt like I’m being punished for something to constantly have abusive people in my life.

[@Carmen-sy5rp]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing. The pain is unbearable and this is helping me. My heart goes out to you ❤

[@kennyweiss]

Glad I could help