7 Things ONLY Fearful Avoidants Will Understand ❤️✨❤️‍🔥

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

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[@maiteyoga67]

Everything is so accurate ! It's like having my mind read. 😭😂

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad this resonates so deeply with you!

[@LearningLady-b2y]

As a DA the only guy I’ve been in love with was an FA. I just felt so seen, heard, supported and triggered by him. Emotions no one else have gotten out of me. We didn’t work out 😢 Ps I thought It was funny when you said they are sweet and spicy bc I texted him about a month ago saying “I miss your sweet and spiciness.” He got a kick out of it.

[@katenicholson4152]

“You’d have to be a crazy person to notice.” Yep, and often confused with borderline. Many FAs are hospitalized for these intense feelings and suffering. She was just nervous because she’s never been taken care of properly, people crossed her personal boundaries, and the fear of resources. Any or all of these. Let me healthily ask for your co-host to carefully choose his words about FAs. We are hurt and confused enough. Please refrain from the word “crazy”. It really sucks to hear a help channel say this, even in jest.

[@r_and_a]

💯! we're also the most likely to have complex ptsd which often gets called "crazy" instead of recognizing it's an incredibly understandable response for what we've survived glad thais talked about how hypervigilance is actually our attachment style again as it's more accurate, insightful & nonjudgemental description than "disorganized" imo

[@katenicholson4152]

@ I agree!

[@MarkLeach-jb6bn]

Oh wow, this is such an accurate video. Thank you for this.

[@xstalzTV]

For me, the mind reading thing is hard. Mostly because I dont see it as that. It dont take a mind reader to be observant & considerate. It seems to be a really, really hard thing for most people to do for their FAs. The ol "im not a mind reader" comes across as just a defensive excuse from someone who won't admit they dont care enough to be as observant & considerate as the like us to be. People really seem to love this aspect of the FA. The FA will observe & consider you. Your likes, dislikes,hopes,dreams,fears,wants,needs. We put effort into Seeing You & and unfortunately, most of us expect it back from you. Right or wrong, it seems like simple reciprocty to me. It definitely deactvates me & I find it hard to try to reframe this mindset 😢

[@r_and_a]

can definitely relate, one thing that helps me to be a bit more regulated about it is recognizing our ability to read others so well was *over* developed as a survival strategy that others thankfully didn't have to experience as that hyper vigilance is a big part of what can make us flip flop shard did you listen to the "podcast" thais put out with her formerly DA cohost about things only FAs will understand recently? she discussed hypervigilance in it a fair bit & how once we're able to regulate our nervous systems better & heal some of our core wounds then we're still hyper-obsrvant but we can let g of the storeies

[@LearningLady-b2y]

FAs are great at seeing you. That’s what I miss most about my FA ex.

[@coppersense999]

Great to see you both, esp Mike Da Man! Love the lessons pulled from personal history, really drives the point home and let's us learn from your experiences. ❤ The DA shame and underlying defective wounds leading to a white lie that triggered an FA's trust issues is a perfect example. Thanks!

[@PaigeYesLee]

Thank You Thais 😊🙏

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

So glad you found the video helpful. 😊

[@CorgisRdaBomb]

What is your experience with integrating ADHD and RSD into the attachment theory? I feel like I am a combo AP and FA, that my ADHD simply magnifies it and turns up ALL extremes. I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this.

[@r_and_a]

absolutely feel for ya as auDHD FA with RSD 💜 C-PTSD (& variety of other acronyms 🤪) have you tried polyvagal theory? pds had some good stuff about it when i did my trial that has helped me a lot

[@jasminm984]

i always thought im anxiously attached. After this video im not sure anymore. I never thought there is any possibility i could be FA.

[@freedomflowsred]

SAME!!! I know now that I’m FA…I always thought I was AA

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

It’s not uncommon to feel unsure after learning more. Self-discovery is a journey-take your time with it!

[@maiteyoga67]

Yep ! I'm an Intutive fa. 😉

[@BFNLEO]

I’m not saying this in a mean way but I couldn’t help but zero in on the hundreds of times he says, “like” when speaking. I have over the years noticed how many people do this and it’s unfortunate for me bc it hinders me from listening to them. It’s as if I’m hyper focused on it and can’t hear anything else. Same with “ums”… Talk about noticing everything. Sometimes we can’t shut it off but want to!!

[@leilap2495]

Listening to these examples, they sound like other people close to me more than me. Do FAs tend to cluster together?

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

We appreciate your perspective and experience with MBTI! It’s important to explore a range of insights for a balanced discussion.

[@adamdanner2702]

How do you get an FA to express what they need when they strongly say they dont need anyone? Which when said if actually a cry for help because of all the pain and hurt.

[@leisurely6711]

My fa gets triggered when i appreciate her and say thank you. She thinks i am over doing it. She thinks either I am manipulating her or vise versa. Is there a explaination for this?

[@MarkLeach-jb6bn]

#1 FAs have a stare, compared to DAs. Thais still has it, and Michael has the DA eyes. We open our eyes a little wider and SEE everything. I can recognise a another FA because they see into you. DAs look around like an NPC and anxious just look at you like you are amazing. Sarah Hensley and Heidi priebe also have the FA stare.

[@fisherguy45]

Thais did a masterful job of of redefining some of Michael's points. I felt Michael was using personal examples as opposed to researched based fact and that lead to misinterpretation of FA behaviours. Example; I have taught and I am certified in MBTI for 20+ years, FA can equally be Sensing or Intuitive. The data does not say one of those dichotomies shows up in FAs more, but Michael said an FA would be Sensing.

[@maiteyoga67]

Yep ! Intuitive FA here. 😊

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

We appreciate your perspective and experience with MBTI! It’s important to explore a range of insights for a balanced discussion.

[@fisherguy45]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thanks Thais. I am definitely a FA, I have been going to therapy for 30 years, and I owned a leadership consulting company for 25 years. So, when someone like you comes along who is factual and precise in their language, I really appreciate that. Keep up the great work!

[@xtruxlilxdiax]

❤❤❤❤

[@ktrain-hj6jm]

FA or not, if someone asks me for help with the dishes and watches me do them and then acts disappointed or annoyed and then rejects my help like their way is perfect and I’m inept, they better not ever ask me for help with anything else again. I lean FA and that’s just a good way to ensure no one wants to be around you. Also, thank you for your video.

[@r_and_a]

to be fair, that's a pretty extreme reaction which pretty much echoes the same black & white thinking you're understandably complaining about it's one thing to set a boundary you won't help with what they're not ready to accept yet but "better not *ever* ask me for help with *anything* else"?

[@ktrain-hj6jm]

@ yeah valid. I was a little more uh…activated by that than I should be, probably. 🤔

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

That sounds frustrating! Setting boundaries like that is such a healthy way to protect your energy. Thank you for sharing 💜

[@ktrain-hj6jm]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Wow thank YOU! 😊

[@leolady8114]

Hold silent grudges? Just cant let things go internally!?!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

It can be tough to let go sometimes. Awareness of these tendencies is the first step toward growth.

[@coping_in_copeland_coper]

lol