7 Ways a Narcissist Tests You To See If You're The Perfect Supply

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Narcissists test the people they love to see if they're the right person to be in a relationship with them. They use subtle and not-so-subtle ways to see if you're loyal, available, and obedient. In this video, I will show you 7 ways a narcissist tests you to see if you're the perfect supply.
If you're struggling with a relationship with a narcissist, then this video is for you! I'll share with you seven common ways a narcissist tests you to see if you're the perfect person to be in a relationship with them. From subtle conversations to bizarre behaviour, this video will help you understand what's happening.
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chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:46 Capability to keep taking on the abuse
01:57 How Big of a giver you are
02:47 Being a fixer
03:49 Being super Empathetic
05:10 They Find out how successful you are
06:14 How willing are you to give up your life
07:43 Test your forgiveness

[@nicj5354]

Every parasite needs a host.

[@christineazmi5111]

Love this analogy! Best I've heard yet🤣

[@naluzzirobinah6404]

Hahahaha 😂

[@correenmills3377]

Faaaccts.

[@bexraphaela]

And some need a hotel as well 😂

[@henrytuedor2650]

that's why we can say that we should proudly hate God for such degree of abuse, is there any loved feeling left in us , wny reputation, any organ working ? Why does God plays a dummy role here ?

[@anonymousbyname1121]

This is a demon on every level behind the facade of a human being. The testing, grooming, abuse, blaming, abuse, devaluing, abuse, discard. Watch out there is a global pandemic full of narcissists and it’s only getting worse. Much love to all the scapegoats out there know that you are beautiful and strong xx

[@joesther8058]

Super descriptive words to describe them!!! Thanks!!!!!

[@francisfischer7620]

Bless you. You are brave and show others the way. Again, bless you.

[@janedoe5229]

I have had many narcissists in my life. But now, for me, as soon as someone makes a put-down joke about me, and then says, "I was just kidding", then I don't need any more red flags. That is the tip of the iceberg of an abusive person. I am DONE.

[@1stBorn538]

Yeah, that's a huge red flag for me too, especially when they're the only ones laughing at the joke and show know sensitivity that you didn't find it funny or if you ask a simple question about something they did, and they become super agitated or defensive for no reason normal ppl have nothing to hide and just answer the question and move on, but narcs will lash out, shut down and get upset trying to manipulate & generate an apology from you because of how you made them feel...

[@francisfischer7620]

You are profoundly good and wise. Live well and be happy.

[@supercoffeebean]

Narc Bait = Fixer + Empathy. Narc will chew you up. Run! Stay Safe. Be Well.

[@martuciabeauty1713]

An educated smart empath=narc worst enemy.

[@CrimsonSlytherin]

You have helped me understand my dad way more than I ever did. I knew he was horrible but couldn’t comprehend how he was so convincingly compassionate and later a sadistic monster beating, torturing, using, manipulating. These kind of humans are horrific.

[@jojorich5727]

@@jbrown2908 their not human their monsters

[@kamicrum4408]

Demons!

[@sanjmalik6282]

My daughter depises her dad, has gone no contact with him. He is a demon.

[@anabless5487]

So very true !🙋

[@anabless5487]

Thank you Danish ❤!

[@blondiesgirl1986]

He made me think everyone did him wrong, his family, everyone he dated I never heard him take accountability for anything! He was so convincing I fell for it thinking I could show him differently. Turns out he’s a Narcissist with major abandonment issues

[@kaoshi_kutie]

Sorry to hear you went through that! Sounds exactly like the guy I dated 🥴

[@blondiesgirl1986]

@@kaoshi_kutie I’m so sorry you have too, It’s very damaging!! I’m currently in counseling it’s been very hard but with time and work I’ll heal. We have to continue to be positive and keep reminding ourselves we deserve so much better . I’m praying for the both of us ❤️

[@user-tk4qd8dj1p]

The victims are who everyone has done wrong across their lives.

[@nawal10]

Lmao yes they throw blame on all the exs it's just silly smh

[@dasoren1787]

It make me realised that this kind of person is everywhere. Since i have one. 😂😂😂

[@jessicasilas9346]

I think it's unsafe to say that someone who is healed will never fall into the trap. Don't let your guard down. They can pretend for a lot longer than we think they can. No matter how long the history, if you see the signs...go.

[@auntzoo-z7251]

When you are birthed by one, it doesn't have to test you. It makes you.

[@auntzoo-z7251]

@@jbrown2908 I completely cut mine in July, after 64 years. I figured that was long enough to give someone 23,360 chances. What can I tell you...I'm a slow learner! I hope you have come to your peace, too.

[@realhealing7802]

Exactly! I was groomed from the start. No contact was my only option.

[@rickylazarus4944]

At least we know what’s out there, forget any “ism “ . This is the real war “for are souls “

[@beingpallavi3272]

I have cut off my birth giver at the age of 31 itself. Gosh! 30 years of full torture that too in a silent mode.

[@normanmccollum6082]

Man-hating misandrist feminist for me, likely a narcissist too because constantly wanted people to do things for her, and adamantly REFUSED to ever take responsibility for anything. Awful woman, her one begotten son may as well be dead, and that feminist has earned the loss of that unwanted and poorly treated child. She ditched me during a natural disaster when I was in my 20s, over 5 years ago, and the ONE time since then when I unfortunately had caught her at the corner of my eye I made a sound of disgust rapidly finished what I was doing (withdrawing money) and made VERY long and quick steps, almost a slow jog, to get the Hell away. Did my shopping, and had my head on a swivel as I walked through the parking lot. Took an alternative out-of-the-way path to get back to my home and like a psycho pointedly looked at every vehicle that came close to see if I was being tailed. I have since moved again, and again attempts have been made by her to get in contact with me, saying things like "I am in (my city), please..." Block, delete, refuse communications, whatever tool at my disposal. She is dead to me, and she should regard me as dead to her. Have not had any actual interaction with either parent in more than 5 years now, FAR longer for the brat of a little sister I had whom had likewise been raised to be an arrogant and man-hating feminist narcissist, the old man being staunchly anti-gun even though firearms and Military history are absolute lifelong passions of mine since I was seemingly just a toddler, nah. Toxic, toxic, toxic. I am on my own, making it as a writer, I don't bloody need them and I would sooner ONCE AGAIN be homeless rather than to reach out to them for help. And frankly, given that both parents have rendered me to staying at homeless shelters, if one or both of them had to lower their head and approach homeless shelters like I had on more than one occasion then so be it. Take your time, think about why you're there. Another family destroyed by feminism... LIVES destroyed by feminism... cancerous, caustic, and toxic. Gentlemen, NEVER stick your dick in a feminist if you have any bloody sense between your ears. Steer clear of 'em. Frankly it seems like the tendency to have brightly-dyed hair is a kin to certain poisonous lizards or spiders being brightly colored, signalling that REALLY it's best to stay the Hell away, keep a good distance, and don't lay a finger on it. So heed the warning, lads. Not worth it. One touch could ruin your entire damn life.

[@mariageorge-grady9547]

This is so true. There were so many red flags before we got married,I ignored them, I didn't realize I was being groomed for later on.

[@TheJoyofCooking24]

May be you are groomed even before meeting them.

[@martuciabeauty1713]

The important question is: now that you know , what are you going to do about it or have done??

[@annstar2793]

1) “capability”to take on abuse via mini discards/abuse/boundary pushing 2) if you’re a giver or not. Esp. overgiver. Limits or not? 3) being a fixer/caretaker 4) being super duper empathetic - test you w sob stories 5) find out your resources and thus how much they can take and what you’re willing to give up- money, time, promotion, support, sex…anything !!! 6) how willing are you to give up your life, personality, choices - to what level can they control your life later…. 7) your forgiveness - to what extent will you accept their fake apologies and how vulnerable and easy you become that. Study the prey for days. How anxious do you become when they do certain things- non verbal test.

[@sahdogwrangler5594]

I was raised to be a narcissist magnet, by my abusive family & my religion, sorry to say. I had just turned 17 when I met my future husband, he was 25. I thought he was so wonderful. Now I'm here to stay for complicated reasons. I used to cry my eyes out when he said he was leaving me or threatened to leave. I was afraid of being alone & so down trodden I didn't think i could make it on my own. I would have fallen prey to the 1st narcissist I came across because I didn't know I even deserved respect & certainly didn't respect myself.

[@Bornintoclusterb]

Great video Danish. Narcissists can be our greatest teachers, illuminating what needs to be healed within us. Some narcissists will test you the moment you meet - the first words out of their mouth will be a test to see what you do.

[@rickylazarus4944]

😤

[@rebeccabrown251]

Greatest teacher ? Really.

[@Bornintoclusterb]

@@rebeccabrown251 when the student is ready…

[@rickylazarus4944]

@@rebeccabrown251 ?

[@henrytuedor2650]

They make sure that they handle financial matters burden on you and they spend money like assholes , fake tantrum

[@jesusrules9925]

It took me my whole life (38 years) to stand tall in front of my haters... as far as forgiveness, I forgive them in my heart for God, but also, for God, I choose not to enable them in their despicable behavior. When they test me, they will get stone face, brick wall... when they talk to me, they get grey rock, I walk away as they yell at me, them pretending I'm so cold... I prayed for them for years, every day. I gave them too much respect and too many chances. Their hatred is clearly visible, and now, for the first time in my life, by the grace of God alone, I'm allowing 90% of my coworkers to hate me, with no smiles from me, no Hi, no nothing. I asked God to reveal my enemies to me, and He has. If one wants true, true, true freedom, let the narcissist hate you, and show them by the way you walk and your facial expression looking STRAIGHT AHEAD, DO NOT LOOK AT THEM AT ALL, let them know you get your validation from yourself and God alone, and you will NOT BE MOVED, AND YOU WILL NOT BE SHAKEN, AND they will know you know they are a pathetic weak bully. And then they will remember how you once were so nice and sweet to them, and they will know in their soul you did nothing to deserve their hatred and abuse... and then they can wallow in their secret shame, and they will not steal any of your precious energy and light and love,,, and then they will watch when you do laugh with someone who doesn't hate you... and they will run and hide, because they know they will get nothing from you, and it's all their fault.

[@shinelikeadimond8888]

Well said

[@MaryJoMatey]

@@jbrown2908 they are demonically possessed ... They do not deserve pity !!! Have to stand strong AGAINST this evil ! They hurt people ON purpose ... even their own children !! They cause chaos .. when everyone is happy and enjoying each other,, they curse when u go up against them,, they are DEMONS !!! NO PITY HERE !!!

[@fareladee5970]

TOTALLY AGREE WITH EVERY WORD!

[@lizcummings4718]

@@jbrown2908 Noone suggested hating the narcissist. It's the narcissist who is hateful.

[@lizcummings4718]

@@jbrown2908 Sorry, but I don't sense any negativity in the comments. What I see are coping mechanisms, which are what therapists highly recommend. I just recently learned about narcissism. Been dealing with it for decades without knowing what the behaviors were all about. I had been practicing low contact without even knowing it was "a thing." It was all about me saving myself and not becoming bitter and miserable. In my opinion, scapegoats do not grow to hate their abusers, due to their (our) empathic, sensitive nature. However, it's that very nature which makes the hurt run so deeply...and to make matters worse, enablers see the scapegoat's pain as hate.

[@lauriemendoza4671]

This is an awesome video! It should be titled "The Narcissis Playbook". It describes in perfect, complete detail what happened to me. Now that I am out of the relationship and getting educated. It's easier to understand how I got taken in by a demonic narcissis. I am healing now. Healing is a process. We must be patient and kind to ourselves as we heal. We have gone thru enough abuse at the hand's of the Narcissis.

[@otherworlder1]

I’ve worked with a few coaches and therapists and Danish is truly the only one who TRULY gets it. The giving of the resources is one of the worst. They are evil beings. With Danish I actually feel heard. I gave up my life. I gave it up to be with him. How stupid I was. I am not anymore!

[@henrytuedor2650]

lets praay for each others recovery

[@jodiburnett6211]

Before I learned about narcissistic vampires, I was like Toys R Us to my ex narcissist friends and family! Wow. This list is gold.

[@audreyaloha7749]

I didn't connect the dots right away at all. He asked if i rented or if i owned that condo in south beach. When i said i owned he had a ton of ideas on how we could sell it and invest it.. then we moved to his homework in another state far from my family and friends, after six years and many cheating and abuse he left with new supply and wiped out my savings somehow he stole my passwords. Add to that he told everyone i abused him. Checks all the boxes

[@GUCC1197]

💗

[@meagiesmuse2334]

Something exactly like this happened to a friend of mine, the condo, the wiped out savings, the cheating. She had to go bankrupt and move in with her parents for a couple of years. They all seem to work from the same playbook. I am so sorry this happened to you. I've been through narc abuse 3 times before I got wise, but 2 of mine were rich and used money to buy control of women. They found out that would not work on me, and I learned that being too nice is not the same as being good.

[@nancyritland9116]

i feel your pain...something similar happened to me

[@dclarke1896]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I am a narcissist abuse survivor. The past 3 partners that I have been with have all been narcissist and each one discarded me and treated me like a piece of trash. I learned that not having them in your life is a gift from God! Focus on healing yourself and bank account that is what I have been doing and I feel genuine peace and happiness often. 😊

[@meagiesmuse2334]

@Valerie Vaughn - I'm not sure if you're asking all of us or just one of us. I did not meet any of mine online though.

[@samueltom517]

Finally some one who gets what i have been through

[@anotherway917]

This video has enormous healing power! They may not be testing consciously, but I am so sure I have not passed the tests and now I feel sooo happy for the choice I have made to leave and very proud of myself for protecting myself. I sometimes feel sad and question myself, but those are the tests that I definitely will not want to pass!!!

[@ladyvirgo9514]

They know exactly what they are doing

[@life-rethought]

@@ladyvirgo9514 and take such pride in it.

[@lorimiller6103]

Danish, You describe narcissistic behaviors so on point that I wonder if you have had one really mess with your life. I don't think a person could even articulate so eloquently without having first hand experience with a narcissist. You have helped me to conceptualize abusive behaviors of my particular predator more than I ever could by myself. I feel stronger just conceptualizing clearly. Sadly, it is hard to imagine that people like this even exist. So sad for them. They don't understand the real beauty of fragility of our lives. Thank you, Danish.

[@debbiejohnson7758]

Yes, you are correct. He has had a narcissistic father who was extremely abusive. (If I remember hearing him say in one of his videos).

[@Wilcosach]

Yes it's takes one to be able to see one otherwise it appears alien to them.

[@karlabritfeld7104]

That's how you know.

[@anilkapri9224]

I'm an empath but very intuitive and logical with situations. I started talking to a narcissist coworker and every test you mentioned in the video, she did to me for three weeks. After that she started devaluing and punishing me, when i didn't meet her expectations. For the next 4-5 weeks she kept grey-rocking and gas-lighting. She actually got my nerves and filled me with confusion and self-doubt. I confronted her but she ignored. I asked for a meet to discuss and fix things but she rejected at the last moment. I asked for closure but she didn't reply. She literally brought the hell out of me. I was sleepless at night and my anxiety was at its peak. Then I unfollowed her on social media and went no contact but she came back with a fake id. Only last week I came to know through your videos that these all could be narcissist traits, and since then I've been at peace of mind. I had to start meditation to overcome my feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. The war is still going on between us with each on silent treatment, but now I have started enjoying it as I see it all as childish attempts to gain unnecessary attention. I can't totally go no contact as I have professional obligations. I need to trust myself and be alert against harms she could bring me in the future. Wish me luck guys!! 🙏

[@rickylazarus4944]

I’ve had to deal with them all my life,private life and co workers. It’s a nightmare. You think your ahead but they keep trying to “poke the bear”

[@martuciabeauty1713]

Advice for you: try your best to get another job,,,,"you can never heal in the same environment that caused you hurt"...meanwhile,,,stay silent and try your best not to give her attention,,,in fact always smile whenever she does things that could trigger you.....and walk out of the room whenever you feel like you need a break or need to breath to calm you down.

[@user-nc9bw8fm1o]

Wow, I always wondered why this person seemed to selectively side with the people that hurt my feelings. He was always increasing the quantity of things for me to fix by myself, and it was even better if he could team up with others against me. I needed a shoulder to cry on and listen, and he was on their side. I swear it felt like running a never ending marathon, until the universe broke me out of that trauma bond. He never wanted me to invest in anything long-term for my own financial security, he was so strong about the disadvantages about such investments even going the extra mile to provide as many failure examples as he could, just so I could give them up. He even wanted me to have no financial sources of my own. He wanted me to need him and and never stop. Thank you Danish.

[@barbarag.269]

This vid is especially precious. Will show it to my kids. A must-see for all. We should teach that at school.

[@val6112]

Omg!! Now i understand about being a giver and a fixer with that Narc. Fortunately im very impatient and didnt have time for it😂

[@ruhifarheen51]

Monsters lurking in deep dark waters trying to estimate how far you can lose yourselves for them

[@sues3218]

I have learned to put up reasonable boundaries and to test if I am being played by someone. When you first meet someone, say yes to them several times. Then, try a NO for something. You will find out really quick if you are dealing with a narcissist. They don't like being told no, even if you have a very valid reason for saying it. It could be something like, I can't go with you or do what you want to do this time because I need to spend some time with (fill in the blank). They will absolutely HATE it. They cannot stand not being the center of attention all the time. They want to control everything. They expect you to give in to their every demand. There will be some kind of punishment for telling them no, if it is a covert narcissist then expect a passive aggressive punishment. Or, they will try and insert themselves into the situation, like inviting themselves along and controlling what everyone is going to do. You could also say something like, I had a hard week and I just need a day off to rest and recoup. You can get creative in it. Just pay attention to how they react. Any reasonable person would realize that the past several times you did what they wanted to do, and they would have no problem reciprocating. A narcissist can't do this.

[@melanie4926]

I used my narcissistic sister's game against her. We were separated for years, then when she needed me, I allowed her to move into my home. I quickly regretted that decision. She sh!t talked everyone. I told her that if she had contact with her 'abusers', she'd have to move out. It took a month, but I got her out. She really thought she had me. I'm free!

[@chriscrumble8420]

Sadly this described the old me perfectly. I was tested and used in all these ways. Fifteen years in, I finally had enough and am working on my boundaries. Never too late for a better life once you see what’s happening.

[@happygoesalwayslucky5966]

Amazing description.. My ex did all that for 15 yrs and when nothing was left of me,she dropped me like a trash bag without a second thought without any closure and blamed me that i was the reason for the failure of our relationship..

[@siber1297]

This channel goes up like the sun in the morning !! Thank you Danish

[@narcabusecoach]

Happy to hear that!

[@janedoe5229]

I grew up in church. I wanted to be the perfect wife. That means I am empathetic, fixing, caring, submissive, hard-working, etc. A perfect sitting-duck for a love-bombing, predatory narcissist.

[@Bella_Noire]

Exactly. The Church grooms us so perfectly for these predators. And that's coming from someone who also grew up in Church also.

[@martuciabeauty1713]

Why submissive,,,why housewife,,,,you must find jobs for yourself and make money for yourself....God has given you power ,,,use that power to educate yourself and work....never choose laziness and abuse....so after someone comes and abuses you, you're going to shift blame on that abuser skipping your bad choices.

[@francisfischer7620]

But YOU are stronger than the demon because you can learn and grow.

[@ladyvirgo9514]

They know exactly what they are doing

[@missb1982]

As you were talking, i was having flashbacks in the "relationship " of all of these incidences that were occuring. It is baffling, the core of the pattern is all the same

[@jans5464]

Unbelievably accurate.

[@liljerseygirl249]

It's all so calculating & you dont even know its happening at first.

[@user-ok6oi1hi4f]

Right 😢

[@healthmintraa4320]

I have gone through all of this. Now I behave unpredictable and don't contact him or his flying monkeys. I feel free now. He has left for good now. I still be very careful about this man. I have build strong boundaries now. I am healing faster....and relearnt to love myself 💖💝

[@Tyndalic]

Their stare is scary as sh*t. My ex husband controlled me and the children with “the look”! My ex exploited my generosity and my willingness to take care of him. I did everything. He’d tell me how his mom beat him and I felt so bad for him. I wanted to love the child inside him. Omg, the manipulation. You know what, the victim is a WONDERFUL PERSON. I would have done anything for him, but he was an ass. That subtle way they manipulate is retched. They are so wicked. I am so suspicious of everyone now. I forgave too much. Now, I’m not going to give anyone more than a second chance. Sometimes not even that! I will never be the same, perhaps that’s good!

[@tickety-bootoyou1850]

6 out of 7! The thing he could never do was to separate me from my friends & family and the life I'd built for myself. But everything else was spot on. I've learned some hard lessons. May we always remember what the narcissist has taught us about their kind & never fall victim to them again.

[@krupaliduria1824]

You are 100% right . Not only the narcissistic but their families also testing all the qualities .

[@Zoeybelle13]

Oh my gosh!! THIS is my experience! I just ended my relationship with my fiancé (the second time I was engaged to him 😢). All 7 things you discussed held true in my relationship with him! Every single one! This heartbreak is very fresh and hurts a lot. But you describing these “tests” verifies for me the horrendous place I was in, with someone I love(d) and I thought loved me. 😢 The more I learn, I pray it keeps me from being blinded by another narcissistic again. Thank you, Danish! Subscribing and looking forward to watching more of your videos. ❤

[@MaryJoMatey]

The STRONGER WE become,, and when we learn full love for ourselves and ask GOD to help us w every breath we take,,, we will begin to see the red flags and WE HAVE to run when we do!!!!

[@smith899]

Thank you Jesus, you dodged THAT bullet!! PLEASE STAY STRONG! I know it must be painful! Just keep reminding yourself how much MORE painful it would be to have children with this person! It was my experience as a mom that the pains my children felt hurt me WAY more that my personal pains! My mother was a narcissist. She put everyone in the family through the ringer! My siblings and I were adults before we figured out she was intentionally causing hurt and strife between us. We learned to call each other after hanging the phone up with her, to verify her poison. We never told her because THAT would have made her double down on her efforts. She never did figure out why it stopped working. 😂 I explain this to you so that you see the pain you feel now IS real, but NOTHING compared to the pain you’d experience if you stayed and shared children with this person. Please stay strong!!! ❤

[@susantower]

You’re SO lucky to have had the wherewithal to break this off before it went further. I know it’s painful to break it off - but believe me - it’s FAR more painful to try to build a life with a narc. I wish I’d known better! I had a child with a covert narc and it was hell on wheels. Fortunately, my daughter is grown now and doing well, but her father did EVERYTHING he could to undermine me. From not taking her to lessons I’d paid for (like swimming or dance) to (several times) falsely accusing me of molesting her and using the ‘system’ to harass and investigate me, with me going to prison as a very real potential scenario. The truth set me free but he sent social workers to my house at least 30 times over several years - all the while not paying a dollar in child support. (He was conveniently self employed, so his wages couldn’t be garnished).

[@Zoeybelle13]

@@susantower I’m so sorry that all happened to you! 🥺 That is awful!! Yes, I believe I was saved from a lifetime of emotional hurt and pain! 🙌🏻 Thank God! I hope you are in a good place now! 💜

[@sharonjumba4648]

I'm laughing at how true this is, I'm working on how I show up in the world. I'm a super empathy and my boundaries are mostly porous, working on establishing healthier ones.

[@jl9769]

I don’t know how I missed this video. But my narc tests me constantly. I’ve come to terms with allot of things over the last year. They are both so frustrated with me, because I’ve no longer accepted their emotional abuse. It’s hilarious how they cannot stand being ignored. They expect the love bomb and Hoover like they do, I just plain ignore them. They like to push buttons, and I’m just enjoying how hard they are trying. I go about my day and my life without asking them permission. Very important to ignore the love bombs, as that is a way they test your levels.

[@PlanetDeLaTourette]

I have very explosive situations with these types because they cannot assess me correctly. I'm sociable and constructive. They think: sucker. I do have too much flexibility in giving people a chance. This is bleeding out in such a relation. But then the boundary setting kicks in. That's a huge disappointment. Once the gloves are off, I'm there for their defeat and humiliation. I'm a nightmare and okay with that. I'm deeply traumatised by these interactions. But I've screwed them all. Made them pay and insulted them to their core. Narcissists hate me. A success story.

[@freud5898]

There are situations where ladies were chosen for their vulnerability/desire to remarry. Then the take-away stage began. I have observed those relationships were the woman got away (barely) with her job/life/belongings. A really sweet girl I know recently ended an engagement, and all of us who knew her were glad. The narcissist had begun drinking/using curse words/anger/threats/holding onto her belongings/requiring her to eat only diet foods/not use her good plates/use plain plates/dishes instead. He arranged for her to work part-time instead of fulltime (more time for his controlling behavior/daily influences). He wanted her to completely quit the job eventually and become 100% dependent on him financially. Other examples include demands to find a less-expensive hairstyle, discontinue fingernail appointments, shop rarely and then only in thrift stores, sell storage building and all its contents, sell all books/antiques, give up cell phone, etc. These are 'requirements' that only increase over time. Thankfully, that girl broke off the engagement. I hope she doesn't fall for his weak apologies/promises. So far, she hasn't. Yeah!

[@paulaadeoye987]

Was in a relationship with one I deliberately ran him out of my life ❤

[@redshift8302]

I don't know if this qualifies a s a test but they sometimes suggest something to elicit a response and they have already prepared an answer which will hurt you. For example you went to a place together once, a hike for example. Months later they ask you 'how long ago you went hiking there' You say 'long time ago' They say 'you must do that again' You think it's a good time to say 'yes, let's do this together' They then reject the idea, and take much pleasure in that. I also had the visit of a narcissist, I was preparing some tea, and asked him if he would have some. He said no, I proceeded to prepare one tea without batting an eyelid and his face changed, and a dark cloud passed over it. I'm sure he wanted me to beg him to have that cup, and was devastated when I didn't comply. Don't fall prey to these tactics, I've stopped giving them ammunition for their pleasure.

[@narcabusecoach]

Absolutely this one too

[@christinemunger7054]

OMG, I thought I had read and heard everything there was about narcissism, but this stuff was new and spot on!

[@user-mq6ln3wg6g]

They try to push you personally and push your limits and your boundaries that how much they can use you and disrespect you. They test you if you are being ready to be abused again

[@edwardbak4459]

You speak the truth so plainly. Thank you for sharing your insights and point of view. You are helping wounded souls to heal and move forward.

[@shekhar301]

cant thank you enough for helping me conceptualise and understand where I stand. Have had an abusive relationship for the last 23 years. Today i am left with no job, no place to escape and poor health. But a better comprehension is helping me ground myself and defining my boundaries without giving up. Wonder what will my future be but I am now feeling better!

[@traceyperry9239]

They look for the cracks in your personality to know how much they can get away with…. 1.Your capability to continue to take their abuse 2. If you are a giver or not 3. How big of a caretaker/ fixer you are 4. Being super empathetic to their sob story 5. They find out the information about ur resources and how willing you are to give them a part in that 6. How willing are you to give up yourself, change your personality your choices to see how much control they can apply 7. To what extent you will forgive- how much abuse they can get away with

[@c3909]

Thank you 🙏💗

[@joesther8058]

7 super points! Thanks!!!!

[@justjen2591]

I am preparing for a divorce from a narcissistic husband. I never knew these people existed until I saw you explain it to me. The word ,"supply" says it all. It's a word that makes me sick to my stomach when hearing it. I was with him for 8 1/2 excruciating years. I escaped in Jan. and I cannot wait to be done with my divorce and put this trash out for good. Praise God for you and your messages. Give kitty Ben a hug and THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for exposing this demonic behavior. I never would have figured this out without your expertise and knowledge of these vampires.

[@songbird8404]

Someone I was dealing with hit everything on the list. I knew cutting him off after the 2nd time he ghosted was the right decision. Only problem is he won’t leave me alone now 🙄

[@cindylong624]

I was taught that no matter what, I could handle it. I was the 'go to " person at work and literally was a work-alcoholic. I felt that I had to prove myself in everything to get positive feedback from others. If they were 'happy' then everything was great. I would ruminate on what I said, or did that day and what negative consequences I would face the following day. I stayed too long in a job that was toxic because I got comfortable with the craziness(love /hate).Eventually , I made peace with my abusive childhood, the choices I have made with that 'survival mindset"

[@_Renee2]

I resonate with this.

[@truthh8597]

I feel you Cindy.. my first year of college was majorly all exploitation and then second year when I learnt to stand up I was callously discarded from a post that I worked so so hard for

[@TheJoyofCooking24]

Isn't that the truth! I am now regretting my wasted time. Basically I wasted my youth. The only thing that I didn't do is getting married. Thank God.

[@julieschaefer9964]

Thank you, Danish! Great information. I now understand how the narcissist chose me. Getting informed and stronger each day since the discard.

[@deehebert582]

I doubt I could be fooled again. It does make you a stronger person. For that, I’m thankful. I can certainly explain what a narcissist is and does!

[@maryrichardson6029]

Excellent topic. It's all true. Slow down, think about things. There are no free lunches. Slow down. Thank you Peace 💕🇺🇲

[@paulaattanasio7526]

It is true definitely about narcissist testing you. When I first met my ex I was love bombed and I thought that everything was great so I guess I let my guard down and I've never had any problems with my parents are growing up but I've always been a giver and I've always been a fixer so I give people a chance and you're right away took advantage of me but continuously asking me for money and then telling me that if I didn't give it to him he wouldn't come here and be with me so I never put up any boundaries which I think is weird because I put up boundaries with the next person I met right away and it didn't seem to harm anything so I realize how shallow my ex really is. He's even trying to get back with me constantly friend requesting me and trying to get to me on social media and every message he sends me is so pathetic after being so vicious and angry with me now he misses me and he loves me and he can't live without me. Unbelievable. My advice, even though I only had a short time with the narcissist, is to get out as soon as you can cut all ties as hard as it is and walk away. There are better people out there you don't need the abuse

[@caramcculley4640]

Super accurate. They vary though, for example my covert narcissist withheld information about his childhood, his life in general, and NEVER apologized. As far as he was concerned, he was never wrong.

[@starrystarrynight52]

You're so on point, lol. I was primed as victim since my childhood, the abuse I went through as a child taught me some bad coping (I was a child, though) and to caught off some of my emotions to better deal with the crap I was handed. I learned how to handle more and more bad stuff to just survive. Also, I was raised in an extreme fundamental religion (cult!) , that taught us girls since childhood that women's happiness comes from making her husband happy. That we should forget about our needs and only care about the husband wants. I was taught that if I was a good wife, my husband would treat me well. So I thought it was me for way too many years. I blamed myself for not being "good enough" I put up with years of all sorts of abuse because of the stupid cult I was raised in. When I started to realize my now-ex husband was a narcissist, I compared how god was described in the cult I was raised in to my abusive husband. I was able to connect the abuse in my marriage to the abuse I received in that church and home, and I was finally able to stop blaming myself. That's when I finally got the courage to get a divorce and get free of the cult. It was such a liberating experience.

[@cindylong624]

Narcissists can use religion to control,use ,discard and hoover others. They are called spiritual narcissists

[@amelhenniart]

Religions are the number one source of abusing women in the world

[@starrystarrynight52]

@@amelhenniart I totally agree with you. Completely.

[@AremAsha]

This may explain why I didn’t get the standard love bombing that everyone talks about, and instead it was like I was alternatively pursued then kind of rebuffed or withdrawal. A lot of double speak, hot and cold, saying outrageous or rude things almost as if to see how I would respond, followed by apologies and lovely, complimentary or seductive behaviour, advances made and then when reciprocated, being told I read it wrong and lies about silly little things and when I didn’t buy it or discovered the lie it was called a joke. Testing, testing. I gray rocked a lot which may have made it seem I would tolerate a lot. No wonder I tired of it quickly and got out. It sounds obvious now but when it’s being done it is so subtle or surprising or very quickly blows the other way again that you ride it out for a little bit just to see if you are reading things right, or imagining it, and a good hearted, genuine person likes to give people the benefit of the doubt.

[@arthurian9085]

It is truly amazing how well you know them. Everything you talked about happened to me.

[@dianalog4760]

I've been watching a number of these narcissist abuse channels for the last few months, and seeing your videos recently made me immediately subscribe. Your content is really excellent, and I've shared it with a lot of people already. This year I experienced extended narcissistic sexual harassment at work, and looking back over it while watching these kinds of videos, I can see deeper into my own psychological blind spots and conditioning. They help me to recognize and acknowledge the mistakes that I made in dealing with the situation that unfortunately further enabled his attack. Where my own vulnerabilities still exist, and can still be activated even after a LOT of therapy work in the past. How to learn the best lessons from this extremely unpleasant experience. Still processing some anger about it all. SO @#$%&* CREEPY!!! What a disgusting, predatory piece of ____ that guy was!!! (Commenters please feel free to fill in the blank, for fun, self expression, further vindication and personal catharsis :) P.S. I don't want to appear rude, but as an artist, if I may make a friendly suggestion in terms of your visual presentation? I would love it if you could consider putting a colour behind you instead of just the harsh white. Or a tapestry or curtain or something. Try balancing out the empty spaces on either side of you; maybe a plant on one side, and a book case or other nice piece of furniture or art on the other? It would help to humanize the stark, Matrix-like room that you're presently working in. I find it a little unsettling, like you've been kidnapped by aliens or something, lol! Best wishes and be well, good sir :)

[@joybanks1602]

Me too. I subscribed to your channel before the first video I watched was finished. Your content is excellent. Deep, and with no fluff. I like that. You obviously have incredible experience in this field of predators. Thank You, Joy

[@clarymatos4607]

I have been looking for this answer for 15 years, thank you God bless you!!!! 😘

[@hopeh4289]

So true, and they will promise love forever , so in the end at the discard to take everything from you while you suffer

[@francesbernard2445]

What is most infuriating is when the narcissist(s) tries to convince that we need their constant questioning of our abiities and that we need their questioning of our motives while they are constant testing us through all of their double standard actions too. The only way to protect ourselves from that kind of narcissist is to drastic limit our time with them much as possible by appearing to only be grey rocking ignoring them.

[@NatzTalk]

I honestly just can't wrap my head around looking at someone trying to figure out how I can use them to tear them down so I can feel better about myself. When I think of him, I feel so sick because I kissed this vampire, slept next to him without a care in the world, trusted him and thought he was just the most safe and caring person and made for me. Now I just feel sick even more so, disgusted. 😩😩😩

[@Sumiya-lp8mm]

Some are so cowardly, then the empath rises from their fall....towers over them and they shrink and slink away.

[@umaadhish]

Very recently .. one of my narc.. returned back ... after many years.. and was chatting & texing continuously for 1 day even throughout midnight... and next day .. waited for me to initiate text and by late eve itself asked me to go to sleep.. i blocked the number and returned to texing me from different number after a week ! How crazy testing process is this !

[@shreyasanghvi8120]

Danish you have summed up all the points, all details about the narcissist SO WELL. ON POINT! 👌🏻

[@lavvaniasathasivam4742]

Watching your videos makes me feel less alone, some would say, “hey its your mother at the end, she is the only mother you’ll have for this birth”, “hey it is your mother, she can never do that to a child”. So much so, when they ask me what your mother does, i can never explain what she does, it is so much more to emotional abuse that it feels like they’re never going to belief me.

[@dittehompoth1469]

The content is extremely good , I could nőt understand why was só many predator in my life, just now I realised that people are tested, and the tests has many points.

[@annett_n]

I fell for it… almost 4 month of crazy love, almost gave up on my marriage, 2 month no contact with husband but when he pointed my husband might be narcissistic it scared me in the opposite way and I started research. As my crush suddenly appeared has good relationships with his “wife” it woke me up… it was a long distance relationship, now I see soooo many red flags that I’ve chosen to ignore or didn’t realise. With the information I know now it’s easier to let it go, no tears of amazing love I would never have, just lies, lies, lies… close before the end he started to test controlling he can use on me and told me what I should do at the same time giving much less attention… how weak I was to fall for it… took me two days to break up, hope it’s the end of the story

[@felixofla101]

Thank you, Dr. Bashir, I told this narc gf that I can teach her English and her response was " On text message?" she said. I told her this, No, using a cellphone or messaging app is a distraction, I recommend visiting the nearby library and do research and I will help you with communication and other questions, and is done in front of a computer or iPad or tab devices. Now, the other thing she may say Can you buy me a Tab, I have to say No!

[@ashleyk9328]

One narcissist always brought up forgiveness from a biblical sense just to keep me controlled so that I continuously allow the abuse.

[@Theresebonath6077]

Im all this the giver the fixer the one that stay until i lose myself the caretaking oh god they are so evil 💔 It takes so long to recover from this im still so traumatized even though its over 1 year now since i was discarded without a word or explanation

[@cayotelives]

Yes my friend disappeared and wanted my friendship after I doing well . 20 years later

[@ramyashekar6285]

I was asked to handover all our belongings and property to narcissist in the home. Yes I was abused and judged on every single things, such as, eating ,dressing, combing, bindi, slippers, bag, saree, talking, walking, anger management, and I was about to get separated from my parents etc.

[@DaveMasters1121]

You are spot on about all of this.

[@l.5832]

How about a narcissist who refuses to apologize, says it's 'between them and God', but says YOU have to forgive them because if you don't God won't forgive you and you will go to Hell. So you are victimized, deprived of an apology, but need to forgive them anyway or you go to Hell. That is my narc sister......

[@gwichin_girl907]

Show her the Bible verse that talks about warning someone once, then warn them a second time, after that have nothing to do with them because the person is sinful and warped... God places conditions on people as well 👏🏼🙌🏼

[@cabot100]

A "narc" is not going to apologize and if/when they do it is disingenuous.

[@nancyritland9116]

that is called spiritual abuse, and it is WICKED!!!!!!!!!!! and yes, of course we forgive them, no problem.....................BUT! we KNOW! we are right, they are wrong!.........and we canread through the book of Proverbs to learn what will happen to these wicked wolves who terrorize God's sheep

[@cabot100]

@@nancyritland9116 Seemingly the Scripture does not apply to entities without a soul.

[@Tyndalic]

God is not in a book. God is everything. You know father/ mother in stillness. And you see him in the goodness of others, not in manipulation. There is no dying, just a worn out body. Life continues. Live in the light, because you are the child of the light. No more fear. Love overcomes fear.

[@zoejaiattoh1243]

I think I was tested two weeks ago .. but I gray rocked him .. hung up and blocked him mid sentence

[@Bianca2802]

If I only knew this video before I got married... My husband damaged my soul, my brain, my spirit and although we are separated 4 years he still tries to destroy my life and still controls me, and no police, no one helped me. So I found my peace now far away in another country short time ago and hope that I will be able to start a new life here with my kids

[@EvaEva-lf3ww]

So true. Thank you for all you do ,Danish

[@Hetal28]

Thank you danish Such a wonderful channel helping people in their struggle

[@princess_sapphire]

This is like you know the narc I was involved with personally. I had just left my coercive husband-the guy I met portrayed himself as my saviour-I told him far too much personal information and wow did he use that to his advantage. Thank you Danish for your explanations

[@joannalopez5447]

So on point with everything you say, this is very disturbing but true💯🙏

[@dorcasidowu3044]

This is a WHOLE MOVEMENT !!!!! Thank You for the True Truth🤩🥰😇

[@samueltom517]

This is so valuable. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@jasmynreddiar933]

Hi Danish, exactly what I've been through. You are so accurate. Thank you.

[@knowledgemania5636]

Yes he used my influences. He made a note of all the information which he gathers from me and used the contacts when he needed.

[@payelpatel6134]

Absolutely correct. If I had met you earlier,I could have possibly done something better for myself, it is an complete uphill task now

[@debbiejohnson7758]

Thank you Danish! I have watched many of your videos and have learned something from each one. This one wraps a narcissist up very nicely all in one video. You always clearly describe my brother and a sister of mine perfectly. I have watched other videos on this subject matter prior to finding yours. I find that you speak in a more detailed manner in describing the red flags we should be watching out for. I 👍like every one of your videos and I subbed after only watching the second. Thank you so much for sharing all your valuable, and useful information with us.

[@marylourdes007]

Thanks Danish for the succinct review! Spot on! 🙏 👍🏼 💯

[@drsuneetharegidi1100]

Proud of you, you are doing such a great job. Thank you so much for the valuable information you are sharing.

[@valgrl1000]

I have never been able to put the things you explain into words but this is exactly what happened to me.

[@franciscocardenas5758]

You give so many helpful insights, you are awesome Danish Bashir.

[@gene978]

6 months ago I hired a 31 year old Male Server who I thought was to good to be true. He kept saying God brought us together. He texted me day and night with how awesome I am to have structure and how much he loves working here. From Day one he was bear Hugging me tight and said I don’t shake hands I am a hugger. The hugs lead to kisses on the neck while bear hugging with I love you thrown in. I am 60 he is 31. He has a GF of 2 years. Because he’s from Columbia I didn’t think anything of it. He’s a very good looking young man who spends a lot on his hair cuts every week $80 plus tips. I went once to his condo he is renting when he was really sick, I brought soup, juice, medicine and seen he has nothing in the apt but a worn out couch and a bed in the other room. He was so embarrassed he felt he had to show me his expensive running shoes out of the closet and his gold chain and bracelets. Which I was their to help him feel better not judge his living. First 3 months at work all the guests fell in love including MEN older and younger. He was hit on by several men all knew he was str8. He never came out and said NO. He would beat around the offers. Then I noticed slowly starting to complain about others performance not as good as his. He started complaining about being behind on bills. But not go into detail and this worried me being his boss and him bringing a lot of return guests. His GF makes $60K a year and he currently made $50K a year working 5 morning shifts. I didn’t understand how they could have money issues. (Not drugs) He claims he starts every morning on the side of his bed in prayers. I used to tell him he reminded me so much of me when I was young. I ended up giving him a good sized raise after only 3 months. I also would round up his tips by $50 and a weekly bonus of $100 and of course the hugs kept coming and I am the best boss ever. Then the home life started to interfere with work life. We have a NO CELL phone policy because of people who constantly start drama and make my employees anxious or just pissed off. He thought by having a APPLE WATCH that wasn’t texting. He was off in the bathroom 8-10 times in 4 hours a day. After I said something, I was the jerk and got huge attitude. He’d leave a full house without me knowing. He’d come out of the bathroom more anxious and start slamming things. At first I thought he was mad at me. Until I figured it out. He was also constantly testing me. His girlfriend called the diner said the cat got out of the house. MIddle of a line out the door Sunday morning. I said, do what you have to do to take care of this. He says “You passed the test I was ready to walk” Then denied saying that afterwards. Now he ghost me when I text or responds 12 hours later. I did offer to make him a partner but we never got to sit down because everything he promised me always falls through. Not a man of his word. Now I hear him telling guests that he is going to open his own business and buy a house and fabricate story’s and using a line on almost all guests. I love your shoes, hat, shirt, it sounds fake now. Our relationship is not the same and my stomach is always in knots. He has a temper and he don’t drop anything. Loaned him $500 second week of work. I said pay back when you can. Following week he says to a guests in front of me. “Everyone knows when you loan someone money to never expect the money back” I took it as a giant hint. He never brought up paying me back so I did and he got so defensive he said I will call my dad right now and have the money for you tonight if that’s what you want making me look like an asshole. Such a shame people are like this. Right now he’s separating from his GF because she don’t do enough for him and won’t put up with his 2 girls from his first GF. No discipline from Daddy so naturally the girls want to be with daddy and daddy hates anyone who has anything negative to say about his spoiled angels.

[@nancyritland9116]

i feel your pain, i experienced something similar.....i am so glad you found this channel! these horrid people turn our lives into torture chambers!!!!!!!!!!! if i did not have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus, i could have ended up an alcoholic because of the financial and mental abuse! i read everything you wrote.................every word, because receiving validation from my true friends has helped me to heal..........and i wanted to give you healing validation. You were scammed! abused! betrayed! and 100% mistreated by a very wicked person........and you did nothing to deserve it............a wolf in sheeps clothing attacked you

[@chopsticksforlegs]

What the Fuck are you doing all touchy with an employee? It’s crossed the line and disgusting. What happened between you two, was transactional. I don’t feel sorry for you at all.

[@aartivyas7190]

Thank you. As always the content is 💯 accurate

[@prathiba780]

BANG ON.... Thanks... Great Validation to bounce back... God Bless

[@iamjovanjones12-8]

U, ARE 1MILLION percent CORRECT on EVRY video, cuse I LIVED this and am STILL COMING OUT of this, AGAIN this is ABSOLUTELY ON POINT!!!

[@lisas8061]

This is your BEST MOST VALUABLE VIDEO EVER Danish😊. Thank you so very much from everyone here!!! Keeping us safe ❤