5 Lesser Known Phrases Narcissists Use to Gaslight you & Their Meaning

[@narcabusecoach]

Book You Slot for the online workshop on "How you become trauma bonded and how to break free in 5 powerful steps": emotionalabuserecovery.com/eventbtb

[@casperinsight3524]

Want off the trauma bond treadmill ?? Check it out 😎

[@marykuttyvincent9350]

Sir, are these narscisst so intelligent to do all these?

[@marykuttyvincent9350]

All that you say in your videos r correct. But are they so intelligent to do all that ?

[@casperinsight3524]

They Empower themselves by disempowering others ...its mind fackery

[@casperinsight3524]

@@marykuttyvincent9350 I'm not sure intelligence is the right word...more like manipulation, deceit, trickery which requires a certain degree of smarts

[@steadypace1262]

The narcissist will sabotage most of your conversations with them. They derail you to get you off track and take you on a detour that doesn't make sense and you forget what you were talking about in the first place.😀

[@gotissues1]

Octopus arguments

[@steadypace1262]

@@gotissues1 I haven't heard that one before, sounds about right.👾

[@stringerchick3650]

Spot on, they get you defending yourself is so manybareas that before you know it you have no idea wtf is going on

[@steadypace1262]

@@stringerchick3650 Yes they are experts in getting you into circular arguments, round and round you go never getting anywhere lol.

[@G2thesecondpower]

Every time I tried to talk to my ex about my feelings (that was my first mistake) I likened it to walking into a spider web. I never had any idea how I became trapped in it but I'd wind up there every time.

[@nicj5354]

"what are you talking about!?" That translates to "how dare you call me out on that!" I used to spend hours (literally) trying to get him to admit to, and address some awful thing he had done. Now I realize that it was an impossible endeavor.

[@Kvinnie424]

Yep when you care so much about them and the relationship that you spend so much energy and literal hours arguing to try to salvage a relationship and they then turn that around and make you look unstable like you want to spend hours fighting with them and then call you aggressive and play the victim. And it always starts with something they have done and said that is completely inappropriate and hurtful.

[@magicalnotes5513]

@@Kvinnie424 u r writing facts 💯

[@Marmalade000000]

A favorite from a narcissistic family member is: "Because I love you, I'm giving you constructive criticism so you can better yourself." Obviously it was gaslighting

[@imalrockme]

Jeeeeeeees*s, really despise this one! The only time I give opinions, on anything is when I'm asked for. Other than that it is just toxic criticism/fetichism from the opinionater, so mentally aggressive.

[@martinahavelkova9828]

Yes, and she always cherry pick only good parts about others, not the whole picture and compare them to you. So you are always not good enough, cause you are not like the best parts of another 10 people.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

@@imalrockme Exactly. You have to accept their 'advise', otherwise you are stubborn/proud and not listening. The arrogance and they never criticize themselves. They don't communicate equally but only send out their 'truths'.

[@donebydani34]

My husband says this

[@BigBrolls]

I don't think that every time someone gives you constructive criticism it comes from a place of contempt and disrespect and they're trying to gaslight you. Sometimes it might, of course. But if you're unable to take criticism in a constructive way from anybody, seeing it as only a "manipulation" in order to make you behave a certain way that is advantageous to them and detrimental to you, I'm very sorry, but it looks like you're the narcissist in this case, and also paranoid. Of course, the difference is the intention behind the criticism, it's up to you to decide whether whoever it may be that is giving you criticism is acting in good faith or not. And yes, this comment is in fact, constructive criticism. Make of it what you see fit.

[@Honeybeealways]

Listening to all these phrases, I think it is better not to talk to a narc at all.

[@mikehess4494]

Imagine a world where adults teach their children to cooperate instead of compete.

[@rolandoscar1696]

And learn empathy.

[@Morpheus-pt3wq]

This world exists, we just picked short straws. And while we are millions, more people around us had healthy upbringing. Sadly, it´s also the reason, why we are sort of ’alone’ in this - because of their healthy upbringing, they take the unconditional love of parents as granted and tend to think about everybody else being on the same boat.

[@arsenelupiniii8040]

Gotta get rid of Big Gov and central banks first.

[@Mayfloweralways]

My favorite was. “That’s not exactly what I said.” And I would say “I’m just summarizing what you said.” “No. We can’t talk if you can’t tell me exactly what I said. You’re changing my words. If you’re changing what the conversation was, that’s wrong.” “Ok, so what did I repeat that you’re disagreeing with?” “I can’t do this. You’re going to change my words again.” “What did I change?” *silence*

[@randomactsofhugs]

Ĺike I will be back with food for lunch. He gets home at 1130 at night no food. I say what happened to lunch? He says i didnt say i would bring lunch. Said maybe if i get done in time ill go to store to get something to cook f Or dinner but the store was closed.

[@Mayfloweralways]

@@randomactsofhugs Exactly. I realized that it’s just to make it seem like they’re normal and care. Then, in reality, when you’re not standing in front of them, they don’t think about you or what they said. It’s terrible. And they’re always so sure that you heard them wrong or you just like to upset them

[@G2thesecondpower]

I'm sorry, where you with my ex-husband? LOL

[@ResearchThis]

So many times I've heard, " well since we don't remember it the same, there is no point talking about it"

[@jodilynn2017]

These videos are SO ACCURATE. As an Empath I could write a book I have so many odd stories of strange things said and done. Bottom line, ANYONE that makes you question what you KNOW, is a very toxic person. RUN!!

[@saturdayschild8535]

He only started saying the “my truth” BS this year after 25 years. Before that, he was the most forgetful “smart” person I’ve ever met. If his mouth is moving, he lying.

[@annettebaggett]

Oh wow... This is exactly what I experienced. When I would show proof of something to my husband , he would yell, " I don't care because I know the truth !! "

[@Hillbillette]

💯 screamed I don’t care I don’t care. I took that as he admitted it finally but in all honesty didn’t care.

[@loverofmysoul6286]

"I would never say anything to hurt you." Is what my mother said when I mentioned her making mean comments to me. I couldn't believe she denied something so obvious.

[@Kvinnie424]

Oh yes! Exactly the same. She has said the most hurtful things and then turned around and said she never said them and called me more hurtful things told me im crazy and that i twist what she says. Shes slammed doors in my face and told me shes done with me over me confronting her over these things. Her responses are Like a child. She regularly disowns me then love bombs making me feel crazy even though i am not crazy. I am in the process of trying to distance myself from her but this seems to also anger her. At some point i guess i just have to accept she wont change and i have to lessen the relationship and grey rock so she cant hurt me. So hard though when its your own mother and you crave her being, well a mother 😓😮‍💨💔

[@loverofmysoul6286]

It is very hurtful. Sorry you had such a horrible mom. I am 39 years old and recently came across all this information about narcissism. It's mind blowing how accurate her behavior has been described online. I never understood everything until now. Trying to keep more of a distance but it's been difficult because she's very obsessive and possessive. Bless you. Praying for happiness and peace for all victims of this disorder.💕

[@gailmazzotta6187]

Actually, when a person's demons speak through them, they actually often do not remember.

[@michele_michele]

​@@Kvinnie424 exactly the same story with my mom. 😢 That's comforting for us both, to think we're not alone with what feels like impossible nonsense.

[@jesusrules9925]

This happened today, a narc at work went behind my back, threw me under the bus when I was following the company guidelines, and made me look like a bad person to my guest. I called him out and told him he isn't allowed to do what he did (breaking company policy) He played innocent and I called him out in detail. He had nothing to say.. he looked scared because I confronted him. My coworker who is a people pleaser and always plays the "I'm sooo positive" card said "you don't have to yell at him" in front of a whole bunch of people. I said " I didn't though, I was just doing what I've been told by management." I don't care if these people think I'm a bitch, all will be exposed on judgement day, and these witches and narcs hiding behind their masks will be deeply, deeply, ashamed.

[@stephanieinwood2831]

They will be shamed. Don’t count on them being « ashamed! »

[@jesusrules9925]

@@stephanieinwood2831 I’m not “counting” on them being ashamed. I don’t care, I walk with The Lord, and The Lord will recompense.

[@julieann2311]

I'm crazy I'm delusional , I never think I'm wrong and I'm always at fault and always to blame ,everything he does he puts off on me, and I mean everything! The one thing I did wrong would get thrown back in my face time and time again... But him disappearing for two days gettin motel ,,that was ok.. he just tried to justify his own actions with blaming me for everything..

[@jaydubbelyoo]

I’ve been gaslit in the most literal sense all of my adult life. I have mild/ high functioning BPD and CPTSD. Past two relationships the perpetrator used my diagnosis against me. “ No one will believe you, you have a mental illness.” The phrase he used to trap me for years until the end when he almost got away with attempted murder. Then came along baby daddy who continues to google symptoms and self diagnose and goes to extreme lengths to convince everyone, including myself, that I’m delusional, hallucinating etc. These are not symptoms associated with my diagnoses. It’s taken a lot of therapy, education and now litigation to get out and prevent me from getting trapped again.

[@orianam9835]

Learn to trust yourself again. Also do not disclose your metal health to people you do not absolutely trust. If someone manipulates and use it against you it is time to realise they are clearly not on your side

[@jaydubbelyoo]

@@orianam9835 thank you, that’s very kind. I’m actually doing much better now compared with 9 months ago. In fact, despite being overweight (comfort eating), my physical health is better than in my 20s and 30s. Since cutting all connections with the family who raised me, and no longer on the receiving end of intimate partner abuse, I’m in a sort of BPD remission and don’t have as many PTSD symptoms. Lots of therapy and hard work is speaking for itself. I’ve also learned the importance of connecting with the part of country (ruwi), I grew up on, for meditation and spiritual connection with my culture and ancestors. Now that I’m free, and no longer their possession, I’m allowed to embrace the other half of my identity, which is Aboriginal. My family raised me to believe it was wrong to be indigenous and I wasn’t to associate with the people they viewed as inferior. Best decision I ever made cutting them out of my life.

[@abbyxiong3931]

I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse for at least 20 years. I was made to be crazy or stupid for just talking about my feelings. I eventually thought so low of myself that I believed all the lies they said about me. I am now in therapy and recovery. It was long time but I am seeing more clearly. I am slowly getting my self worth back. Still a long ways to go but I'll get there.

[@prophet1782]

Best of lucks. Know narc traits. Relate each to your experience. Learn and grow. Narc abuse also has after effects. ie. Rage etc. be balanced.

[@exclusivelykimmy]

Yes!! Those phrases I heard the whole time I was with him. I thought I was going crazy. He even said something wrong with my brain. Now I'm not with him anymore and realised I'm a normal one.

[@ResearchThis]

Absolute denial of things said. I then show them their own text message saying it. They still say I am making it up and I have a false narrative, and they keep denying it. 🤯

[@bigboi301slg]

My ex was famous for claiming she didn't say something. It used to make me think I was crazy until one time we were arguing via text and I was able to screenshot twice when she denied saying something. Helped me to stay sane lol.

[@ResearchThis]

@@bigboi301slg so true. Having those text screenshots helped me stop trying to defend myself and focus on the obvious lies.

[@cl8wnm5n]

You can’t make this shit up

[@gracegrace9567]

Covert/vulnerable variety will not respond when confronted...equally frustrating and disorienting.

[@narcabusecoach]

Absolutely!

[@DarkEnergyHealer]

Always looked in shock when confronted with their lies and gaslighting, but never saying a word... Thank you, I thought I was alone in this 🙏

[@gracegrace9567]

@@DarkEnergyHealer thank you too, Danish is right we can validate each other by sharing...it's so empowering to know others know exactly how we feel and what we've experienced.

[@dianavandenvelde8566]

They won't respond and will ignore it even when you have prove they talk over it like it does not icxist its crazy making.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

"You are special" "You are are nice" You are a good person" ......... "You are sensitive" "You worry to much" "You think to.much, life is easy" "All people do that:( in other words, your experience, skill or whatever you shared with him or her it doesn't matter). "You ALWAYS "....etc They may say this after only one or two weeks of knowing you. "You take it the wrong way, you take everything negatively"

[@magicalnotes5513]

OMG 😱😳 Exactly 💯💯

[@deltahomicide9300]

If they're successful get ready. They'll feign concern over your financial status implying you're insecure and bitter since you haven't reached your goals. This has a two-prong effect: 1, it excuses their behavior and 2 it's a sleazy way of saying you're overreacting.

[@leerainyang]

I'm involved with someone that is all the above. I did not see how toxic he was until a year ago and didn't take actions until 3 months ago. Although I'm still stuck, I am slowly letting go and it's a weekly battle of gaslighting, manipulation from him but now I am aware and put my foot down as much as I can. I now know it's not me that's causing my health issues. Thank you for your videos, helps me get stronger every day/week.

[@stringerchick3650]

Good for you, I'm in the same boat, stillncurre tly trapped in the relationship as I'm a stay at gone of a 1 year old and he controls everything. I hope for both ofbus we make it out

[@scottberger4872]

All of the above, 2 weeks out of it walked out of it after 5 years have not said a word to her best feeling ever!!!!

[@blondiesgirl1986]

He would always say “ you don’t know how to love” when really he didn’t know how to obtain it!!! It took a minute for me to understand what I was dealing with no matter what you do they’ll never be satisfied NEVER

[@joycebraniff3546]

Exactly 💯 it's them that doesn't no how to love and don't no what love is

[@jennyp5099]

They also have selective memory

[@jans5464]

I was given the silent treatment for 3 days. He then spoke to me telling me how concerned he was that I wasn't eating. I said I was too upset to eat. He then said he didn't want to be with someone who was scraggy.

[@margareth1504]

Whatever strength you have left, use that to safely escape from this person. That way, you can rebuild your full strength and level of energy under your control. Otherwise, this person wants to entertain themselves by watching their victim grow weaker and the victim or partner's energy is designed to be sucked away by the streams of chaos orchestrated by the narc....ist

[@jazminclaudette777]

@@margareth1504 please never forget " women are angels, when someone breaks our wings,we keep flying

[@margareth1504]

@@jazminclaudette777 Yes you are spot on.:)

[@jazminclaudette777]

Unbelievable,of can he would never admit that your emojis feelings was his fault!!!

[@universaltruth2025]

My husband used to give me the silent treatment often, sometimes for weeks at a time and it would drive me crazy. I would try to apologise to get him to talk again. Now I don’t care and just do it back to him and its not much of a marriage at all.

[@Socoolral]

Danish, I go to work at one AM. There were times she would call me at 10pm and accuse me of cheating and say things that were horrible. I felt like she would do it to a point that she was trying to impress someone she might had been with. Then when I would say babe you know that’s not true and all I want to do is love you. I don’t know what your talking about. Then she would hang up and not answer me. Then after a few calls I kept making to her she would answer and say F-U and hang up. I just never knew that narcissist was a thing.

[@albertomendeschumaceiro8404]

Every one of those hapenned to me. I would add also Sir the instigating a discussion or a fight without you doing anything wrong and they would do this at least in my ex espouse she would say im leaving and pick up clothes and disappear for days and sometimes for weeks and return like they had not left and still come back to you and shun you ignore you.

[@terridillon3053]

Truth! Thank you! Get away from these predators Stay away! God’s mercy on his warriors!

[@benz4369]

Listening to all of your videos, I have got a new insight about narcissist victims. That is, Atleast some of the victims of narcissistic abuse go on to become highly enlightened men like you are now, with loads of wisdom and a real asset for community, capable of guiding others to safety.🙂

[@morosso1968]

i'm sorry if you are thinking it that way,,,, so classic!

[@brinta19]

Here's another one: 'You have been lying to yourself since childhood, so you don't have any sense of reality left anymore." I blocked him. He is no longer a brother to me, he never was of course. But now, not even in title. This just happened yesterday. Thanks to Danish, and all the fabulous Content Creators on Narcissistic Abuse. This is Absolute God's work! Thankyou guys 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@orianam9835]

We do not know what his comment related to really. Many people of childhood trauma denied own feelings just to cook woth trauma. I will sugestie perhaps a good examination to make sure he is really predatory or if he meant any good

[@adel2457]

Oh my, the "I don't know what you're talking about" is my soon to be ex-husband's absolutely most favorite phrase! He uses all of these! It's sooooo disgusting. He one time told me, "you're not fun, you're not anything like my baby mama" because I wouldn't do drugs with him. I was devastated when he said that to me. I confronted him the following day. He swore up and down and even on his mom's death that he did not say that to me. But he did and it replays in my mind a lot less now than before. I have to say I am very proud of myself for not trying the drug just to please him. I stood my ground and till this day I never tried it. I cannot wait to divorce him! Lord please help me.

[@eileenreeger4077]

Kim Saeed has helped me I worked on myself and studied her materials until I could Do the Hard Thing of LEAVING

[@adel2457]

@@eileenreeger4077 Thank you! I'm so happy for you. I cannot wait to leave. I wish it was right now.

[@rolandoscar1696]

"I'm sorry you feel that way." NOT an apology.

[@cl8wnm5n]

A fake one at that

[@paulaattanasio7526]

Everything you say is right. My ex used to say I was delusional and that all the things that he did wrong were my fault. All I can say is I'm glad that I got out as quickly as I did and I believe everybody should get out as soon as they feel that something is wrong

[@waltgold6254]

My ex from decades ago did this, when I would catch her in a deceptive lie she would say “I’m just not aware many times of the things I do”.

[@G2thesecondpower]

I felt nauseous just watching this video. Not because of you best year but because this is what I went through for 15 years... Absolutely everything was turned back around on to me. Total emotional invalidation. The strangest thing is that no matter how many times it happened I was always shocked by it. I could just not comprehend it for some reason... I'm just so glad to be out of it now. It was psychological torture.

[@DarkCelestialConsciousness]

Omg yesss he literally says these things so much word for word! Yesss he made me believe that I wanted too much cherishing and he literally wanted none. He lies and said no one else is like that. Yes he pretends it was all an accident. I'm pretty damn good at making him aware it's his fault afterwards. Or at least he's aware that I'm aware. But yyy do they want to be around ppl to abuse?

[@indraSilentMoonImaginarium]

Thi made me cry😢 finally someone who gets it- i’ve had all these thrown at me - thank you for this

[@Tappedline]

Thank you so much. The healing has begun. Peace

[@OSTARAEB4]

Another one is “I’ve done favors for you”. Everything is a contest and score keeping.

[@mg8148]

"It doesn't make any sense" whenever I was talking about my feelings

[@tsukigalleta]

My father: "You say that because you don't have life experience", and he kept saying it even after I turned 40. And it worked like a charm, he used to silence me with that. My mother: "I know you as if I was the one who gave you birth". She also used to laugh at the same time. Also worked

[@hm_hih4398]

My ngrandmother used to say I don't have life experience like my brother because he is weak and agrees with all their lies and circus but I don't budge. They're really pathetic when you see through them and sense they're trying so hard they're scared.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Yep. This one was my former best friend. The “you don’t have life experience” got really old when I realized it was being said by someone that was a few months older and could never get a situationship beyond a few months to maybe a year. And it does work until we start to see through it, start to feel the intention to mislead and control with this mega distortion.

[@hm_hih4398]

@@saturdayschild8535 I hope you're doing better now. Stay strong friend.

[@simonpegg1196]

I once told my mother, "Stop talking to me as if I'm a 12 year old." She shut her mouth after that, probably because she never thought I'd say something to her ever. I thank the Universe every single day for having put me in a position of no-contact with her, thereby I could thrive in my life. The whole atmosphere away from her is so light.

[@manapeace]

When I recently confronted someone about their verbally abusive behavior I instantly got an “I would NEVER say such a thing!”. …after they just did, as well as multiple times before. Big red flag!

[@hm_hih4398]

I once deliberately gaslighted the narcissist when she was trying to gaslight me lol, she rewrote the history of how we attacked her narcissistic daughter (nmom) while in reality she was the one who attacked us. I used the I don't remember that and repeated it until she gave up because I am not going through that stuff.

[@pjmrees]

Yes, experienced it ALL. He is the master of excuses. He should have written an excuse book for liars he'd be a millionaire.

[@SPiRiT1theMC]

"Oh its always my fault isn't it" when trying to counter the abuse seems to be my mother's go to. I feel like I would get kicked out if I linked her this. Just gotta sit in silence

[@kovrcek]

Move out asap and go NC if possible. Wish I knew this sooner.

[@danoyse8233]

If you’re old enough, make a plan, tell no one, non communicate with her.

[@Kvinnie424]

Same. The “Im always the bad guy stop making me the bad guy” i am learning after many years that silence and grey rock save my peace. Although it is hard to ignore them I hope eventually i will get better at it. I am also in the position where they could kick me out and i have no means of leaving. So i stay away as much as possible and keep quiet its much better than the years ive spent trying to change them. You shouldnt have to teach people to love you who truly do love you. You shouldnt have to beg someone to treat you right.

[@22melhorn]

My narcissistic mother would beat the holy hell out of me and then tell me, The only reason I did that is because I love you!

[@Tanvi_-ku6iz]

Sir you and your videos are 🙏 blessing😇 stay blessed 🌈

[@vikinggoddess2126]

Wow. Number 5 hit hard. He's now saying he doesn't remember anything the last 3 yrs. Very convenient that he doesn't remember anything.

[@kalar3429]

Thank you for all your videos..Feels like I have the right to feel. I have become silent because of this narcissistic abuse from parent ...to sibling..now to spouse.. Yes completely am destroyed but I have become silent.. When I listen to you saying silent treatment..have I become the bad one now. Trauma is only subsided by the silent treatment. Please comment 🙏

[@alimccreery755]

I want to let everyone on here know, I believe you. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ coming your way 😊

[@timefoolery]

My mother used a majority of what you listed, but her favourite thing to do was to attack my credibility. One time my aunt called why she was out, so I talked to my aunt for bout 15 minutes and got the news from her bizarre world. My sister called next and I told her I’d talked with our aunt and told her what was going on with her. When my mother finally got home, she called my sister back and my sister must’ve asked her about my aunt because next thing I know, my mother says, “Oh, don’t listen to her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!” She hadn’t even spoken to our aunt yet, but she never missed an opportunity to knock me down and beat the hell out of my self-esteem. She even told people in Texas that I was always taking drugs and shouldn’t be given the benefit of the doubt or anything else. I was simply “crazy”. It’s no wonder I had three mental breakdowns and ended up seeing a psychiatrist. I just wish she’d understood just how much damage she did to me before she passed.

[@gogosylvia293]

Danish, I have said all these things to my abuser. Fortunately, I have text messages, phone recordings, and witnesses that affirm what I did and didn't do or say, so I've been able to stand in my truth. Not that it mattered to him, evidence means nothing and shows how sick and obsessive I am 🤷 It makes me so sad that a jerk like my ex is watching these videos, convinced their abused is the narcissist, and throwing it in our faces. My ex did exactly that.

[@deniserothwell6325]

Thank you for this brilliant explanation I have subbed to your channel. After giving a narc friend……now I am sure they are……another chance at the friendship after a two year break I have once again been verbally abused. Why? Because I called an end to it all before and she can’t see why I did it and she was the one who was hurt and the victim because I walked away. We had already been over this a few times and it had ended with me backing down to stop the escalation of her anger. But this time I didn’t back down and told her how I felt. Another thing has also come up that I really didn’t take much notice of but it would hurt me. She would always tell me some nasty thing someone had said about me. But she wouldn’t say it just the once it was always repeated and out of context in a conversation. It was like feeding poison to me and wasn’t well noticed until she added another five people to this cycle recently and I could clearly see this pattern. When I brought this up she said she didn’t keep secrets! She wouldn’t answer me why then did she constantly repeat these things wasn’t once enough? I am surprised she didn’t say I need to be slapped around the head with these truths! This of course was all to help me! This was a favourite of hers. Anyway I am still recovering from the terrible verbal abuse from last week. Thank you again for your channel.

[@rhondajoaquin4550]

They must be cut from the same mold because everything you talk about is on target with what has happened to me present and passed friends and family members. The more I learn it becomes easier for me to recognize what is going on. Thank you very much. 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@debraannedimezza8075]

In the beginning, I was perfect. I was a little pinup doll two years in a relationship discharged with the little comments at the end of commons, backhanded compliments and then bam started with the constructive criticism. I’m only telling you this because it’s for your own good. I love you, and I want you to be a strong woman while I was a strong woman in the beginning the end of four years I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror and totally destroyed my self image I was running and having plastic surgery done I was starving myself Nothing I ever did was got it off or he would turn around and go when I first met you. You were perfect look how you’ve changed. Needless to say was five months apart no contact.

[@albertomendeschumaceiro8404]

Exactly you hit on the spot

[@narcabusecoach]

❤️

[@keeperandralf1962]

“I don’t remember saying that.” “Remember I’m doing all this because I love you.” Wow, why did I fall for that for so long.

[@billsivad8637]

Danish I survived 6 of these self-centered bozos Quite the challenge I'm alive to tell others about such brutal weirdos Whew!

[@tabootarotreader]

I have definitely heard all of these phrases before! I once was involved in a Queer relationship with a closeted man who obviously was a covert narcissist. Very two-faced, he would devalue & discard me after intimacy, and generally behaved like a fearful avoidant. We lived together in a community space and I was gone for a few days during Christmas. While I was gone I learned from the other volunteers he decided without permission to play my flute (irony) which I had left in the space. When I confronted him about why he felt it was a good idea to play my flute without permission when he ignored my existence, his response was "I don't know what you are talking about", "I don't remember", then denial, then finally, "I did ask you for permission, but you weren't here" ... That was the moment I realized he was a narcissist. Thank you for all of your work 🙏 #survivors

[@daylenestaneart775]

Thank you! This is soo helpful and confirmation that I’m not crazy.

[@Dawg5g]

Whoa literally watched his adult daughter do every tactic in one dispute as I showed her dad a printout validating a conversation. It’s actually interesting to hear how basic they are. They are predictable even. I wish I had known more but if I had known more I certainly would never have been in that situation. Thankfully I’m wiser now and very grateful.

[@jennelleschulzeck9426]

Yes, yes, yes, everything, EVERYTHING!! you just explained is absolutely true. My narcissistic husband has said all those things to me and he has been very successful in reducing me to NOTHING. Everything is my fault according to him. Not happy!!

[@surlif]

Great communication here on these gaslighting phrases! This is exactly what happened to me. But I sit here wondering how all the narcs all over the world learned these gaslighting phrases??? How did I go so long and not know what was happening to me as I shut down and could barely function? How did I go to that low place from being a woman who graduated university in 3 years and had a Master's degree two years later? Then proceeded to get a great job that paid well. But instead believed that I was totally inadequate to live my life. All the while someone was using tactics on me to make that happen. Someone I married because I thought he loved me. Mind boggling.

[@DennisKien]

I remember confronting my mother about how the family used my birthday celebration, 4 years in a row, from 1994 to 1998, for abuse. Specifically, Dad and brother would rant and rage about the fact I had no health insurance. Non stop relentless lies about how they would be forced to give up everything they owned, including thier houses. Because of me not having it for a hospital visit. I explained that hospitals don't operate like that. On and on, never letting up, until I would leave and walk home from the restaurant. Asked my mother about why she said nothing during those conflicts, she said "I don't remember THAT" Lie. She was enjoying the arguments, watching and listening like a tennis match while nibbling on breadsticks.

[@jeronciojosephs]

I have 100% experience exactly this. Danish I cannot thank you enough for your help in these videos.

[@debraannedimezza8075]

I think if my ex ever says, I’m sorry I was wrong three times in five years that would be too many times. It was always me after a heated argument, begging for forgiveness that I was wrong. I miss judged him while I’m standing there, saying it myself now I know I’m right Yet I would be the one always to beg for forgiveness and in the end just telling everyone I was a toxic person it was survival mode. In the end I became worse than him. I turned into someone I didn’t even recognize in the end, and it scared me after breaking up. I started therapy. I am not the crazy one.

[@khitchings1]

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Damn. I have heard that one before.

[@drewb5845]

I wish I could express how much your channel has helped and continues to help me. Thank you. This describes the narcissist in my life perfectly. A friend who had escaped a narcissistic husband saw I was very upset one day and asked what was wrong. She had been in therapy and asked me questions about what exactly this person had been saying and doing. When I was finished she said, “They are a narcissist.” She said, “I’m not an expert on all the types but you need to look into what type they are or they will destroy you.” I did and it is saving me. I’m still in the thick of it mind you.

[@partypoisonbemine]

regarding #3: I have a different experience where if I don’t believe them “I have poor judgment” and will say things like “if you don’t believe me then that’s shitty.” Like I’m not allowed to have my own perspective. Is this common?

[@saturdayschild8535]

It is. They can’t consider another perspective beyond their own so they invalidate everything else.

[@SPiRiT1theMC]

My mom will literally scream "I'M RIGHT!" when she has no foot to stand on in an 'argument' (what would be a conversation with a reasonable individual)

[@bradfaulkner9597]

You should could create more videos about narcissism bro, helps me sleep at night.

[@semplybalanced3210]

He has a entire library on the channel.

[@missmysanity7093]

Could you Analyze “ Religious Narcissists” using the doctrines of their specific religion to scold you because they don’t want you to burn in hell for example?? I believe all leaders within their religion use their specific doctrine to control their people!

[@Mara_143]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 Yessss. Danish, please create one on this

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Yep. Religious/spiritual 'leaders' are all narcissists!

[@missmysanity7093]

@@annekerotterdam7499 so sad but so true🥲🥲🥲

[@missmysanity7093]

@@annekerotterdam7499 I agree

[@darrynreid4500]

It might be helpful to remember that people with high narcissistic traits often don't use words to mean the same things as they do to heathy people. A very common one, for instance, is "I'm being victimised/oppressed/bullied", which really means something like "I'm not getting everything all my own way", "You're not letting me violate your rights at will", or "You're not letting me have power over you". I think the reason for this pattern of using words to mean something different is based in the fact that they live in their heads in mystical magical make-believe, where they're awesome, owed, entitled, and very, very special. So they implicitly tend to see reality as a mechanism for trapping and oppressing their glorious selves. I offer in evidence here all the vague impressionistic assertions they make that are actually untestable and usually not even coherent, in addition to pile that's just factually false. Reality isn't really real to these people, and there's a supposed deeper true reality where they're always right. If that all sounds suspiciously like some kind of dualistic mysticism, just without full hypostasis (turning concepts of values into personified mythical beings), then full marks to you!

[@alastairjamesmainland2497]

An unsettling listen this one, spot on, cant believe I escaped this after 30 years. No one believes the scapegoat but things look very promising mercifully that reality is no longer mine.

[@Morpheus-pt3wq]

My father kept saying to me: "I´m doing this all for you, so you will have some place to live!" Meanwhile, the house was obviously falling apart. Apparently, he wanted ME to spend on HIS house to fix it. Lucky me, i subconsciously understood, that i would never ever be able to get rid of him there. He can keep his house. Or his money. I don´t want any of it. There was always only ONE thing i wanted from him and i never got it, why would i accept such obvious trap then?

[@kesimayers7155]

Omg so true. I just argued with my husband and he took me on a whole thing. He made me feel guilty and all of a sudden I was apologizing for past actions instead of him apologizing for the present situation. He claimed that the argument would have ended when I accepted his apology (the apology that is insincere and meant for him to avoid instead of address). In reality, the argument could have ended if he took accountability. I should have just accepted that apology instead of mentioning it! I just got triggered. In the end this man made me feel horrible of my past behaviors that he caused by his toxic behavior. Some of my behaviors are unacceptable and I addressed it in the past and I even got far so as to get professional help! The behaviors he mention were reaction from this man ignoring me so hard and we have a special needs daughter. I need help with everything and he only has two chores that he doesn’t wanna do!! This man would not say sorry or see what he did is wrong. Ultimately, I know it is my fault for allowing these behaviors and not being more in control of my emotions. I am currently working in myself and trying to build myself up. I am not currently in a position to leave because I am empty financially and physically. He doesn’t want to get help and claims he is autistic. I do not have any friends at all. I am so sorry for dumping this out there. I am asking for your good vibes and prayers to help me overcome this in some way! I am trying to not be a victim and I am trying to realize my part in this so I can end this cycle and dynamics for my daughter. I know I was raised by two very obviously narcissist parents and I thought I would never encounter another when I leave them. There are nice guys/gals who are secretly narcissistic! In the end, I am so upset at myself. How can I be so stupid? I will eventually find my personal strength but I am leaving this comment out to the universe.

[@indraSilentMoonImaginarium]

I’d get ‘ any normal person would think like that, why don’t you?, you are crazy’

[@debprobst330]

I'm would always say "if you just did what I tell you to do, we wouldn't have these problems" 😂😂😂guess I'm just a rebel...oh and that I never remember anything he says bc I don't pay attention to him and I most certainly thought I had a problem I even was genetically tested to see if I had the markers for early onset dementia....and I didn't it's been almost 17 months no contact I still feel the affects of the trauma and fog but it's so much better and the peace I live daily is priceless....stay strong and thank you Danish for your insight and kindness ❤

[@agentwashington2946]

My mom displays everything on here. I am not a well equipped adult and i still live at home. But i also have a little sibling. I feel like i can't leave them but my mother is slowly manipulating them like she did to me when i was young

[@cayotelives]

This is point on . Good job bro and thanks million

[@aleigha9141]

This resonates with me so deeply. Everything in this video my mother has continually done all my life. She has said every single one of those things to me more than once. When I went through a period of having flashbacks and nightmares; remembering A LOT of things from my abusive upbringing that I had blocked out, she flat out told me that those things didn’t happen. 😳 I thought I was literally losing my mind. I went to a psychiatrist who encouraged me to talk to my sister who experienced the same things growing up. I did. She confirmed that what I was remembering in fact DID happen. I wasn’t misremembering at all! When I went back to my mother and told her this her response was “I told you that it didn’t happen bc I didn’t want you to dwell on the past” 😳 so she would rather make me think I was going crazy. Thank you Danish for all of your videos on narcissistic abuse recovery. They have helped me more than years and years of therapy. ❤️🙏

[@wandaandre2341]

Danish, I so needed all your mind blowing insightful videos a life time ago 😢 I still need them now. Thank you.

[@makeupfreak1989]

Danish there has not been one video where u don’t get it right u get it right every time you describe my partner and everything he says and don’t do for me with the why he don’t cuddle doesn’t show me love I’m needy I’m insecure etc.. but I’m not he comes home from work and goes to work doesn’t give me a kiss at all we go weeks without affection attention or time I’m really getting over this cold numb no love relationship

[@_Renee2]

I hear this all of these phrases all the time.

[@monicarai1497]

Oh the "You're too sensitive." Heard that all my life

[@freetobememe4358]

Thank YOU for these videos, I have been overcoming for 30yrs, I am almost 70yrs. Raised by two N’s, then of course married at 18, another N for 10yrs. Then friend after friend, then son married N and has taken on charastertics. I am no contact for my own well-being.

[@MedicineGodsWay]

Once, I asked him why he never admitted he was wrong and why he never apologized to me like I did with hi. He said, "Because I'm not wrong!" I asked, "Ever?" He said, "Not usually!" I so didn't know what I was up against!

[@alexwiseman9078]

Experienced every one of them. Thank you for your excellent work

[@user-q992]

There is one more thing. As soon as they get to know someone is nasty to you or jealous of you, immediately they take that person’s side and together they turn against you. If you try to tell them about this, they deny it all and start calling you bad names. Sometimes God intervenes though. My two ex friends ( mother and daughter) used to regularly use my narcissistic husband to be nasty to me. Years later, the daughter got married and her mother in law and sister in law abused her so badly by turning her husband against her that she had to get divorced with two young children. Her father who was also nasty to me developed pancreatic cancer with all this trauma and died a miserable death. Karma phalam!

[@OlgaMalykhin]

I am grateful for your humor on #5, hahaha so perfect! 😂. I had to rewind a couple times so I could really listen b/c I couldn't stop laughing. Narc abuse is not funny by any means, but sometimes healing happens when its so bad that we can choose to laugh at it as we detach from these monsters. Thank you for your content, I watch your videos regularly ❤

[@michaelstewart399]

Wow wow wow !!!!

[@alisha516]

Oh my gosh! I feel like you know what’s going on in my life. This is so real

[@izawaniek2568]

Absolutely Spot on! Thank you for great observations and advice.

[@-LSTR-]

Real life example: we went to my brothers house once, we stayed a few hours before for his birthday; about 6 months later she would suddenly say: I really like your brothers apartment... Leaving me thinking why she would say smth like that at that moment. Later I found out they were 'exchanging books' behind my back.

[@emmyjoyful1]

Every episode you are describing my ex!! Do you know him? lol. I could document our relationship by following your videos point by point, and giving examples. I'm gobsmacked!

[@lindaquimby1475]

Yes yes yes ..this happens often .. oh .. I can’t remember..you must be mistaken! No I’d never say that ....bla,bla,bla, and the lies .. I never said that ..I said the total opposite ... it drives me nuts...and yes again to it makes me feel that I’m the silly one and then I feel guilty because I should be thankful for them ..thank you for your knowledge on this subject !, Linda

[@deniserothwell6325]

The lines I would get is, this is who I am warts and all, I am an Aries this is how we are., I don’t give a flying f what you think. When saying a particular vile and hurtful thing when I brought it up they would say, I was too sensitive, this is my truth, I don’t understand why you are so upset by that. If they did give me an explanation for their shocking behaviour they would say, I am sensitive…..when I asked what were they talking about they would say, that’s my defence. When I would point out that they totally crossed my boundaries, they would say either, they are still learning about boundaries, I don’t believe there should be any boundaries. Or they would resort to screaming at me that I didn’t trust them! And here’s the best one. When they told me how one of my family members would die…..very nasty stuff which I won’t repeat here…….they said well didn’t it happen that way, when it clearly didn’t! At that point I could see the depth of this persons insanity!

[@silviaarvayo7602]

I hear those words very often. Thank you Danesh 💙🙏

[@kumbakumba794]

Yes.