7 Ways Narcissistic Abuse Destroys You Emotionally

[@jacobcron8519]

13 year relationship, and there is nothing in this video I don't identify with. Just a wonderful video and reminder.

[@paulothx138]

"It was all for nothing", this is the hardest pill to swallow.

[@chuckb470]

12 years of my life wasted....

[@JamesAlstonmemphis]

@@chuckb470 They weren't wasted. She taught you a valuable lesson. One that will make you into the best version of yourself. Same for me.

[@clintonnagy1662]

No doubt. That's facts !

[@clintonnagy1662]

​@JamesAlstonmemphis Thanks...but hold on while I laugh. I don't need a lesson, I need happiness

[@JamesAlstonmemphis]

@clintonnagy1662 I know your pain. I was betrayed as well.

[@JohnUnzickerGuitar]

I don't know how you do it, but you tell the EXACT experience I had being married to my ex-wife for 27 years. This video is spot on. Your videos have played a major role in my recovery. Thank you Lisa.

[@LiseLeblanc]

Thanks for sharing!

[@rostamr4096]

I second that, Lise is amazing…I have been watching her videos, and it has been amazing, They have helped me to deal with my divorce from a narcissistic woman. It gave me the knowledge to understand and helped me to cope with all the drama and challenges. I am not quite out of the woods yet…Thank you, Lise.

[@TheBedouinHypnotist]

⁠Yes , hers is my favourite channel on this subject by far. It’s somehow soothing to hear my own experiences validated. I look forward to no longer needing to listen to more about narcissism and BPD , but for now, it’s helpful as I recover .

[@PeterAcrat]

I couldn't agree more. EVERYONE sailing through life Needs to be able to clearly identify the rocks, reefs and shoals, and No other youtuber can draw the map so clearly and convey the experience with the accuracy and nuances like Lise.🏆💎🙏

[@AlbertJames007]

23 years for me and you are right

[@heyoldman2003]

the one that haunts me is depression. i tried for 40 years..thankfully i don’t feel anger … but just trying to do any work around the house .. or even going on a walk it too much to consider … so i just sit around.. thank you again Lise .. you have helped me so much…. keep up the good work. your helping so many ❤️

[@clintonnagy1662]

I can't do sadness or numbness. I'm so happy I healed past that into the anger stage. At least I've learned how to channel angry energy into productivity. Numbness & sadness cripple me & I shut down. Nothing gets done.

[@OliHandy2008]

"Depression is just anger without the enthusiasm"

[@darinsmith2458]

all this stuff is so brutal but so true..

[@djlr1111]

It takes help to get over them and only someone who understands narcissism will help you move on. Friends, counselors, and family just see that you were "incompatible" and won't be able to validate and help you understand the abuse you experienced and possibly still don't see as such.

[@JamesAlstonmemphis]

Only takes us thousands going in the wrong direction before we figure out it wasn't us. Then the real help is more thousands. But necessary and worth it.

[@jameschase5127]

You described just about every relationship I've ever been in, in this and other videos. Now that I've gotten out of those relationships, I have a tremendous sense of peace.

[@carolentringer8836]

1. Exhaustion 2. Resentment and anger 3. Fear and anxiety - nervous system stuck in high alert - sense of impending doom 4. Depression and despair - numb, no energy 5. Guilt, shame, and deep sense of responsibility 6. Not being able to trust anyone, having been fooled and manipulated 7. Loss of identity, dismissing your interests

[@clarknova6511]

So very similar to BPD.

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

@@clarknova6511 well the only positive to that is there are potential cures for BPD, and most women do outgrow it after the age of 26.

[@pqrstzxerty1296]

Agree

[@michaelbrooks9935]

Of all the videos you've made (and I've watched quite a few), this one hit home the hardest. One by one. One through seven. I checked them all. I'm actually in shock at how almost every word reflected my own experiencel right down to the letter.

[@greener3922]

How did it end for you?

[@garyharris4366]

The abuse they inflict on others can cause you to doubt yourself, especially if they don't like to communicate and use ghosting as a way to get their point across.

[@Warp75]

It took me 6 & a half years to get back to any semblance of normality after that “relationship” It’s a long road back to recovery

[@nigelgould-davies6950]

Lise nails it every time. She knows exactly what she is talking about, as anyone who has been through this will recognise. These dreadful effects are a reality, especially trauma, instilled fear, and difficulty in trusting again. It's a comfort to know that recovery is possible.

[@JamesAlstonmemphis]

I love listening to Lisa. This is my favorite video of hers so far. She is describing me. And of course, many of us. Its so nice to hear her words. She understands.

[@RenoLaringo]

This is the best summary of the last 13 yrs of my life.

[@chuckb470]

Same.

[@dnbpimaz2dnbpimaz227]

spot on! I ended my relationship 4 months ago and I still feel all of this, gradually less and each time giving me more strength to focus on myself and who really likes me! She blocked me everywhere after telling me that I was the one she wanted to have children and live together

[@apstrad]

WOW!! You have nailed every symptom...every thing my ex did to me..I finally had enough and ended the relationship after a year and a half. On edge is an understatement...impending doom is right...the smear campaign she started is overwhelming, it has ruined work, caused depression on my part. The tipping point? She never said thank you for anything that I gave to her, or did for her. Simple gestures on my part were glossed over...never acknowledged. I am glad I am out of it, it will take a long time to recover from this disaster, especially learning to trust again. Thank you for this video...

[@nigelgould-davies6950]

Yes --and on smearing and reputational harm, the internet is a force multiplier for them. This needs to be more widely recognised. I hope Lise will address this in a future video.

[@apstrad]

@@nigelgould-davies6950 my ex emailed and mailed current clients, future clients..The only way I found out, one of my clients called me and asked what the hell was going on. He had received an anonymous email and letter.

[@dongilchrist7385]

It's the Betrayal that's hard to shake.

[@chuckb470]

Yep. We poured our blood, sweat and tears into someone because we believed that they were worth it, only to be discarded like a used Kleenex....

[@Edward_T_Martin]

I got divorced 30 years ago. I’m just now finding out about NPD and realizing how much of it wasn’t even me.

[@haroldcampbell3337]

Same with me. I had no idea what I was dealing with until I found this channel and others like it.

[@walterwhiteboy4257]

My ex was never interested in how my job search was going or usually didn’t ask about how work went. Everything was always on her terms and since I cared more about the relationship she had all the control the way she liked it.

[@phoenixprotocol452]

Wow, every. Single. Point. Describes her. My God …. What an Evil creature and I’m a mess and a shadow of my former self. I will NEVER let someone like that enter my life again. Good lord.

[@gustavoeberle3895]

Perfect explanation. Im experiencing all points. There is also a disbelief in life and justice itselves since the narcisist overcome you in days and almost unharmed

[@AdamDocker]

1. It was all my fault 2. Exhaustion 3. Constant rumination 4. Tinnitus 5. Panic attacks 6. Insomnia 7. Low self esteem and self worth, emasculated 8. Lack of energy, no inspiration 9. Nervous wreck 10. Chest and stomach burning, bad gut 11. Anger, resentment, wanting revenge

[@phoenixprotocol452]

I can’t believe how many men have suffered the same kinda evil women! Wow man every post I read describes my evil ex creature. It’s the same thing over and over. What the hell.

[@RahulSharma-dp2cg]

@@phoenixprotocol452 same here !

[@iamgooii]

I really appreciate you! I am typically very self-aware and able to work through things and find good resolve. While I usually eventually find all the right thoughts or exact words I needed to cope and move on, my recent ex is something I have not been able to navigate on my own because I was operating in her world that didn’t exist; like I was living in a virtual machine. It was a fever dream. I feel her here still. I know I am not okay because I don’t want to miss her, but all the right chemicals are still there, leaving me feeling like I do. I’ve decided to go seek therapy.

[@greener3922]

Me too, very good

[@phoenixprotocol452]

Bro. I have massive cognitive dissonance!!! I know she is evil but I’m still suffering with out her after she just threw me away one day like trash even tho 4 days before she was so loving… like how can a person just discard you like that. I’m a mess. What did let into my life

[@greener3922]

@@phoenixprotocol452 hey man that's awful. But be grateful, she did you a favor. You deserve better! Hang in there, block her and never look back.

[@iamgooii]

@@phoenixprotocol452, the immediate change and separation did the number. Effective “punishment”. I completely feel you.

[@lokilawson]

I have taken your explanations, and seen how clearly they match my experience. I have now begun the process of freeing myself. My wife threatened divorce to manipulate me for the last time. My kids are in their later teens now, and the threat of losing some access to them is gone. I now realize what this is, and I am no longer chasing love, and trying to get the person back that I married. That person never existed. Love was never going to happen. I do feel bad for her, because it was not really her fault that her emotional development was interrupted, but the research on this is clear. She isn’t going to change in any kind of meaningful way. I refuse to stay stuck in a losing situation. I will be far better off on my own, reconnecting to who I am, and what I want out of life. So I called her bluff this time, learned to grey rock, and am moving forward with separation. My state requires that a couple remain separated for 1 full year before they can proceed with an official divorce, which is horrific when you consider cases of abuse, but that is my path forward. And I am taking Lise’s advice, working with a counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse. Wish me luck everyone!

[@lochnessmunster1189]

Best of luck- you will succeed! But yes, the 'loving' person these women appear to be, never existed at all.

[@PeterAcrat]

💪 Most people aim for narc abuse recovery - but growth is indeed the prize from all this painful turmoil. Success lies in putting your deepest TRUth firST: You are conscious awareness with the capacity to choose and direct your attention to reveal WellBeing! It's choosing that place where you realise the value of your own emotional state, and you step out of resentment and into _compassionate unattached forgiveness_ - EG: • *Consciously choosing to feel at peace* by accepting that 'darkness' has every valid right to exist as does 'light' - and choosing to be the difference your heart and soul enjoys most. In this way while they remain locked in a paradigm of conflicted separation and warring divisions, you rise above the problem and grow your soul through expanded peaceful inclusion of all you observe on your path.🌅

[@richardcook2320]

Good luck! I’m 3 years out. I found once I realized the fights or drama were never about what she said it was, and that it was just a tool to manipulate and control, I stopped taking the bait. It sounds like you’ve figured it out - good luck on executing your exit.

[@lokilawson]

@ thank you! It feels good to know there is life on the other side.

[@lochnessmunster1189]

@ Yes- like me, you will come out of it fine but it is a hard road in the beginning, to be able to escape.

[@shanetaylor8000]

I feel so alone.

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

This happens when you are detoxing from your dead end relationship

[@chuckb470]

Hopefully by watching Lise's videos and reading all the comments you will see that you are NOT alone in this. They bring me a lot of comfort!

[@tommason3372]

People think I’m an introvert after my 7 year relationship with a covert passive aggressive narcissist. I’m an extrovert and always been that way. But people say they see deep hurt and pain in my eyes.

[@TimJeffries-b2j]

I hear you Tom, same here. I was always outgoing, the extrovert in the crowd but my close friends have all noticed I’m the quiet one in the group now. Two years with a covert narcissist has taken its toll but determined to get back to my old self

[@gustavoeberle3895]

​@@TimJeffries-b2j14 years bro. The toll is imense

[@walterwhiteboy4257]

Yeah I was a little of both but it was a short relationship and I’m still recovering but I feel a lot less outgoing because of it.

[@rostamr4096]

Thank you, Lise. You are amazing and spot-on, as always…These short videos are golden and priceless...

[@marknieuweboer8099]

2:01 As a former target of emotional abuse I've learned two things and I'd wish I had learned them sooner. Sidenote: I'm not qualified to diagnose whether the abusers were narcissists or whatever. 1. Expect the worst. If such a mood happens once it highly likely will happen again. Wishful thinking is your enemy. 2. Find out if the other person is willing to solve the problem. If not get yourself an exit strategy. Don't let the other person know. This saves quite some, but not all emotional exhaustion and makes recovery easier.

[@Gina-el8kn]

I can literally not relax unless I'm alone, this includes the grocery store I worked at for 6 years, and retired from, even though everyone there likes me, I wish I didn't have to go to get groceries anymore 😢

[@Ej.-fc5md]

Lise is the best describing this. All my respect and appreciation thank you.

[@Listingviral]

Best rescue information

[@Mike_Cosentino]

Great video!!!! As always, thank you

[@LiseLeblanc]

Thank you for your positive feedback!

[@iamtheroadwanderer]

Thank you, Lisa. 💯

[@alicethomas6645]

So very, very true this is me 42 years of it😢

[@andron967]

Narcissists tend to drive a manipulating wedge between you and the foundational parts of yourself. I had a big problem with my concept of the term healing. We aren't a fixed consciousness. We grow, experience expand, and evolve. The healing is getting back to the parts of self that the narcissist separated us from. But those parts have also evolved. We can't go back to something that's no longer there. I tried to erase the narcissists damage and the pain that was caused. I don't look at it like that now. I'm not as dependent on other people or societies defining me. Oh, it's not perfect. I still feel isolated at times. The world and especially the human race, often looks hopeless. I often feel like my life is up against an unclimbable wall. But it never is and time is dragging me forward, sometimes kicking and screaming but forward.

[@erictruelove-so1de]

When my narcissist father was stressed and feeling bad, which was much of the time, he would point at me and say "God damn you to Hell!". Once he cooled down, he would say "Let's just be friendly". I am not sure which statement hurt me more.

[@pogromcaczerwonych1144]

100% accuracy.

[@EdfromCanada]

Well done and very accurate bideo. How I survive? It took years but I established a solid sense of self. After this I adopted a 3 stage survival strategy after I established that I am dealing with a covert narcissist: 1. DD MO. Don't Dwell Move On. 2. Deep Six. I silently got rid of her with no discussion or engagement. 3. Ghosted her. Ceased all further contact. I had to do this for my own survival, sanity and well being.

[@emmtobeseen]

Hi Lise, thank you for your videos they are very informative and helpful. I think I could have BPD and I have shown BPD videos to my boyfriend also showing my behaviours. Would you perhaps do a video on how to look after your partner when you have BPD and how i can better protect my partner against me beyond CBT. Thank you so much❤ as i'm trying to look after my partner through my self awareness of myself and have no deception❤

[@anthonyskube]

Thank you Lise!

[@freyja802]

Yeah, I don't need that. Nobody really does need that. We need to learn how to heal the wounds inflicted by these psychosocial predators.

[@michaellogan7507]

Thank you, Lise.

[@BDAILY365]

My gosh, what a whirl wind of a learning experience with a narcissist creature! I don't think much else in life can touch me now haah! 😂🤣

[@c.a.henderson7957]

Thanks for the information.

[@RugbyLeagueHistory]

I'm in a relationship with someone who has been in some bad relationships especially the last one which was with a narcissist. The last one (trust) is probably the biggest thing that resonated with me in this video. My girlfriend does not trust me at all. She doesn't believe anything I say either. She always thinks I am up to no good or I am seeing other women but I haven't done anything wrong. This all comes from her ex who cheated on her multiple times, would message girls, like/love heart and comment on pictures through Facebook etc. It's very draining being constantly accused of cheating or doing the wrong thing when I haven't done anything like that.

[@chuckb470]

Bro. This does NOT "all come from her ex" or her past bad relationships; it comes from her! I promise you. HER inability to regulate her emotions has caused those relationships to be "bad". That is 100 percent the way they present themselves, and she has placed you in the position of being her knight in shining armor. You'll continue to overlook her flaws and take the hits because you think it's a privilege. Listen to Lise and read the thousands of comments by men who've lived this he'll and know. Run far and run fast my friend. Or ignore my warning until you're emotionally beaten and bloody, a mere shell of who you were before, and you can come back here in 10 years and making all the same comments as these.

[@QuiDocetDiscit]

Women who are "damaged" will do this sort of thing. They will punish the good guy for all the things the bad guys did to them. You are her punching bag. Also, for her to impute all these wrong motives and actions on you might be a serious "projection" of HER shady character!...can you trust HER??? They say that the punishment a liar suffers is not that no-one will believe them, but that THEY can not believe anyone else.

[@chuckb470]

@QuiDocetDiscit absolutely true

[@AndreFlavell]

My one is a alcoholic narcissist woman. Even though I sailed away she continues to keep me connected. The hook ups with men more than I can count and dysfunctional behaviour. But I get told if you loved me you wouldn’t have gone or did xyz it’s a nightmare

[@DamonvanDerSalm]

10:16 we are almost always never enough, the Rolodex of actions come out and we are blamed for nearly all the problems in life. I don't want my wife to bear the full responsibility of the issues but, at least be accountable for some!

[@petemorton8403]

And then add her cheating & Entitlementing

[@JustinDizon-h8z]

This is my ex girlfriend exactly. It’s been 6 months since the breakup and I’m still depressed and her condescending voice is still playing in my head. I moved my whole life 2,000 miles away to be with her just for her to abuse me and discard me

[@sonjabrady1032]

Like the circle of Love but different

[@eiehe93-]

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

[@pharxahghxst3654]

Yes acting like nothing happened

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

Narcissists tend to drive a manipulating wedge between you and the foundational parts of yourself. You can develop post-traumatic stress disorder, and unfortunately this takes years to recover from most often. There is hope though, because exiting the relationship is the best start to a new life.

[@walterwhiteboy4257]

Yeah I could count on just about every other week her giving the silent treatment for pretty much no reason especially after having a nice date day. Walking on eggshells

[@sonjabrady1032]

I call let's make a deal

[@libertycan6959]

this can also mirror reactive abuse as it looks similar.

[@sonjabrady1032]

It's transactionale

[@Costa998]

How to know if we are victim of a narcissist or if we are the narcissist ? Because my wife is telling me that I am

[@RahulSharma-dp2cg]

Same question here! My gf just stonewalled me out of nowhere... its been 1 month .. all my efforts to reach out went in vein.. she doesnt block me but doesnt respond either. Does she think I am a narcissist ? because I did argue with her saying she feels distant these days.. and I feel weird

[@chuckb470]

They love to gaslight you and project their issues onto everyone else. After 12 years of me dealing with her abusive behaviors she left me because I was so terrible! I absolutely know that I was not the problem because there was absolutely no evidence of anything she claimed. Every accusation she made only existed in her mind. Let me guess; she continually has problems with other people, and it's never her fault? Now look at your life separate from her; do you constantly have problems with other people and it's always their fault? Or do get along with everyone except her? If she gets along fine with everyone but you, and you you feel like everyone is out to get you, then yeah, you might be the problem, but I frankly doubt that. A narcissist person would NEVER question if they themselves are at fault and would never watch this video! Their focus is always on themselves.

[@chuckb470]

@@RahulSharma-dp2cg It sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder. (BPD) It's like NPD but they often feel bad about their behavior later, while a NPD doesn't. You deserve better bro. 🙂 Keep working on yourself and the right girl will come along, who will value you as much as you value her. ❤️

[@stephaniegarfield29142]

maybe you both are.

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

I'm Detoxing From my X trama bonding

[@Listingviral]

2:34 2:34 2:34 ,, ❤❤it' is confusing😵😵

[@karenmuradian533]

I'm the first to watch this video 😂 like watching the movie in a theatre and have all this good stuff just for me😂😂😂

[@grosbeak6130]

As long as you're good? But it sounds like it's all about you. Again, as long as you're good. And to express it in a social media context letting everybody know with all of those emojis? Oh the irony here. As long as you're good, that's what matters in the whole wide world. Sound familiar? No, it isn't just for you..

[@nickenglezos687]

I wonder how many men get arrested for domestic when they reach their braking point.

[@chuckb470]

I shudder to think. I came very, very close.

[@robertjohnston8876]

The important thing to know is there is no hope whatsoever. It only gets worse Get out now!!

[@Seekthetruth3000]

Stay away from narcissists if you can.

[@sonjabrady1032]

Well maybe not always sorry men my apologies 🙏🙏🙏

[@jonasiye]

Merci !

[@LiseLeblanc]

Merci beaucoup!

[@vanlehnandy]

Hi Lise. I like you and coincidentally, you do happen to have messages that show up at interesting times in my life which I thank you for. If, you care to answer, how did you come about the Tree of Life plaque behind you and what does it mean to you? You can reply publicly or privately, just let me know. Thank you.

[@sonjabrady1032]

I don't work

[@Cvevas]

A narcissist dream come true

[@TheSillymansam]

Dont get attached to anyone. Hard to dissipoint anyone when noone is around.

[@stephaniegarfield29142]

Then you can never enjoy your life

[@sambadiallo8245]

❤

[@mannywayne]

Why am I hearing the video in Spanish?

[@Moretosh]

Heal your own narcissism. Then 'they' will dissappear.

[@rebeccacruse7777]

Tomorrow after work and school I am checking out your other videos!!! I AM BOOK SMART LISA CAN MEMORIZE 900 words but some of my choices LISA I AM SUCH A DUMB ASS!!! a younger man what was I THINKING J TORE MY HEART OUT!!! I AM GETTING THERE I AM I AM LOOK AT ME!!! I AM GOING TO KICK SOME ASS!!! AND SING BUFFALO GALS LIKE WE DID AT MY DJ PARTIES BOY DO I MISS THOSE THE FEMALE NARC DANCING TO Buffalo gals was a sight!! she liked the JOHN MELLENCAMP SONG DANCE NAKED FOR ME!!! IN SOME PEOPLE"S CASE LISA THANK OUR LORD FOR CLOTHES!!! Oh you made me feel better already!!!

[@FulvioGa]

This channel is the best about its topic, but it lacks humanity towards the narcissists, who are human beings too.

[@bradivany7008]

Meh they get enough from everyone else they've manipulated into thinking they're a victim. But I see your point. Nothing is black and white and we're all messy creatures .

[@gustavoeberle3895]

Devilish creatures

[@Ben-fc3pi]

Demons they are

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

Well I'm used to it, myself as a self-aware diagnosed narcissist, this is extremely common unfortunately.

[@ppdayz888]

I CRY OUT it's not the person it's the HUMAN MICROBIOME (Wikipedia) PLZ BE KIND ... Look it up 😢

[@sonjabrady1032]

Sickness Jesus Christ king Jesus says lean on me I'm also UR Friend.Amem all Holy Spirit Thank you God blessings to all

[@lilwhodyson]

will you marry me?

[@MA-xi9bh]

Skinny mouse to click on her?

[@robertgraham1626]

Yes it can definitely leave some scars

[@The105967]

Thank you Lise.❤

[@sonjabrady1032]

I don't work

[@DannyBurch-bo5mn]

Thank you Lisa, you are amazing.

[@LiseLeblanc]

Thank you for your kind words!

[@CJ_Pharaoh]

Thank you, Lise 🙏