9 Rules for Parents by Dr. Jordan Peterson

[@theFortuneTales]

00:00 1 YOU HAVE “LITTLE KIDS” FOR 4 YEARS 00:24 2 ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN 01:20 3 CONSEQUENT OVER-PROTECTION 01:54 4 THE NOTION OF “BURDEN” 02:55 5 THE MAIN “JOB” OF A PARENT 04:43 6 LACK OF ROUGH AND TUMBLE PLAY 05:14 7 GENERATIONAL DETRIMENTAL EFFECT 06:21 8 BEWARE OF NAIVE TRUST 07:19: 9 HOW TO WIN AT THE GAME OF LIFE

[@sparki101]

Jordan, I am a child of parents who at various degrees did not fulfill these qualities in amongst other layers of generational dysfunction. I disagree with your diagnosis about the future of these children and mostly with the idea that being a parent will automatically make you less self absorbed because you have someone else to live for. I am.now 37 and finding that the way for me to be a contributing member of society looks like choosing to constantly knock.back a cocktail of forgiveness and focus on myself regardless if that level.of healing is reached before I become infertile or not. But otherwise, you are pretty much my Internet dad. I am very high in openness, neuroticism but very low in being conscientious . I cleaned my room because you said it like my dad should have done and annoyingly it works haha..so thanks, dad! But I do think some family situations function unfortunately outside of your boxes explained here.

[@secret5.]

Not to be a dick, but your daughter has struggled with mental health issues, relationship issues, and divorce from her children's husband to have a fling with some mma loser. I'm not sure you should be giving parenting advice.

[@Profile659]

@@sparki101are you drunk?

[@sparki101]

@@Profile659 you mean, right now? (with this reply), 19 hours ago (your reply) or a month ago? (original comment) I don't remember. Maybe because I am an alcoholic.

[@Profile659]

@@sparki101 lol. Get well brother. I support u

[@poppylove3673]

“It’s very hard to grow up, if they don’t have children.” Until you have someone else that matters more than yourself.

[@theoriginalmonstermaker]

It is insane to me that someone would need THEIR OWN child to feel that way... that in itself is a pretty clear indication of narcissism. .... though I admit it creates a unique relationship of responsibility that is otherwise avoidable. But that only applies if the patent actually ACCEPTS that responsibility, which many do not.

[@reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql]

This sounds good but unfortunately is a very shallow observation from jordan… there’s plenty of very mature people without kids and plenty of immature people with kids

[@kroto7451]

@@reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql amen. I have a 5 year old daughter, she made me become a great dad and individual. I can't say that happens to everyone though because I see every day how irresponsible and immature people can be even when they have their own kids.

[@kingkongdong7042]

I think its harsh to confront but I think there is truth in it. You really don’t realise how selfish you are until you do. I was generous, kind and empathetic to my friends and fellow people because I knew it was the right thing to do and that it made me happy to see them happy. Yet I would still say that in many ways I was selfish. Unrelenting personal standards and ambitions, skills, thinking of what I want to do that day, first and foremost. I don’t think it is a shallow observation at all. I think it is very true. It can just be uncomfortable for those who don’t yet have kids or those who are naturally self-sacrificing to hear.

[@Ladyresin0978]

​@@kingkongdong7042 I agree. There is also something about having your own child that makes you feel more grown up. In a sense you realize you are no longer the child, the youth, young etc, when you are now the one with the young. I don't think people who don't have children can ever feel that the same way. When you have a child, it fundamentally shifts your position as well as you have a greater understanding of your place in the universe. Our purpose is that of any other animals, to continue the species and you feel that when you become a parent. I think its fine to not have kids. But it's a part of the animal experience that they are not experiencing, so you just can't know until you know.

[@nberry3898]

Having kids is like reliving the BEST parts of your life through someone else's eyes. Your hopes, dreams and ambitions live on through them. Can it be hard at times, sure. But the good greatly overweighs the bad ten fold.

[@theFortuneTales]

Beautifully said

[@bendakstarkiller3407]

It's interesting that ambition is passed down. They are their own person, but it's like their is enough of you in there that they become interested in similar things if you foster that interest.

[@annalis9555]

I had to hear it today❤

[@kristianf8791]

100%

[@maddie_MJLove34]

🥺

[@wezzard]

I got my kids a lot older than I thought I would in my life (39-41). I really feel I only became an adult at that point. I began to feel a lot of empathy towards my own parents and grandparents.

[@Paulzor923]

My mum and dad were excellent parents, I'm trying to bring my children up the same way they brought me and my sisters up. My mum is the most loving mum ever, I used to get jelous as a kid because other kids would go to my mum for comfort if they hurt themselves or just wanted a cuddle. My dad was strict and I'm so grateful, if something came on the tv where a young girl had gone missing or something he would tell me, "This is why I'm strict" and now I have my own children I agree 100%. If I can be half as good as my parents I will be happy.

[@theFortuneTales]

What an excellent comment! Thanks for sharing it with us 😊

[@MJCosterr]

This was beautiful ❤

[@lagoya]

I am so grateful to have a husband who not only provides for me and our sons completely so I can stay home and raise them, but who also makes time for rough play with them every evening when he gets home from work. It makes such a difference in their mood and behavior! To the point where if they don’t get that quality “dad-time” for a couple of days, it is noticeable.

[@CRSN08]

My partner does this w our toddler too and i know it means so much to him even though he’s only 2

[@christiannalove208]

I feel the same! It's truly the most meaningful "work" I've ever done, and I'm so grateful to my husband for having freed me from having to work a meaningless job just to have the money to pay to have someone else to raise our children. It's such a joy to watch papa and baby play together.

[@pinayJayX]

Totally

[@beatrixkiddo5]

My home is very similar. Hubs is a heavy equipment operator and works over 70hrs a week. We were only and to have 1 child (son). Hubs gave us the best gift of affording us the ability to be home. Those special days with Dad are great. I was worried about time missed but quality beats quantity 🕊️

[@beatrixkiddo5]

​@@christiannalove208I've had too many people tell me I should take care of something for them because "I don't work." Umm anyone else want to raise my child for free😂

[@JMc.D]

I used to work in sales. It owned me. I had a son. I quit sales to be present for his formative years. Got a job working shift work which gives me more time off and a decent living. He turns 5 next week it was the best thing I’ve ever done with my life. We have since had a girl and I wouldn’t change a thing. I used to watch sales motivational videos, now I watch parenting videos. I’ve got this life thing figured.

[@theFortuneTales]

Thanks for sharing!

[@Bjamin9891]

Good job! I dropped out of the work force to raise my two children as a stay at home father. It’s the only true joy I’ve ever experienced. This grind is way better than sales or in my case the stock market

[@ladonnaramirez4467]

I'm so glad I never took any moments for granted with my children

[@SoulfulLogic]

There's literally nothing else in life that'll melt your heart more than your own child. I have a two year old and have never smiled so much throughout the day as I do now because of him. It's crazy how the smallest things they do can make you so proud and happy.

[@maddie_MJLove34]

Today i had a rough day. Im a SAHM to a toddler and its soo exhausting and i have back pain. Very hard. But i am glad i can raise my toddler to be kind and loving. I needed this video to help me regulate myself.

[@spveterinary]

There are a lot of people who grew up in domestic violence and abuse and nevertheless as an adult you can choose to heal and break the cycle. So even if you didn’t have the best role models you can still be a good role model for your future kids. Breaking the abuse cycle is the most freeing and inspiring sensation knowing that your kids will never experience that.

[@TanyaDavis954]

❤❤❤

[@rrijecanka]

Yes!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@sandypuentes866]

It sure is. And it's more doable than you think.

[@wileytheacmesalesman7760]

I have an adopted son who I raised from one year old and he’s 19 now. I now have two foster kids, a sister and her younger brother who are five and two. I get the opportunity to see the difference in an only child to children with siblings. It was a lot more work trying to socialize my son and he had some difficulties in school in his younger years. He is now a great young man who is recently married and in the Army. I can see that the foster kids have the benefit of learning how to play and live with each other, and school for my foster daughter has been an easier thing than it was for my son. Another thing I noticed, small children are way easier when your in your early twenties than it is in your early forties!

[@KimHarvey-cy5ji]

I got to stay home with mine for 14 yrs! The best time in my life raising them

[@George-zt5ll]

@@johnwalker3614depending on the number of kids(+3) why would she?

[@dominicives2624]

Would you not consider that valuable and challenging work?

[@sdrubaa]

14 years? 😮

[@TheBanjoShowOfficial]

@@johnwalker3614the communists brainwashed you into the equality thing right?

[@deusvult6976]

Stop telling lies, you know it would of been good for the child to be raised outside for them to grow

[@AcousticManJ]

Really one of the only people I would take parenting advice from.

[@apowerr]

Having my wife stay home has led to compromises in our standard of living. We drive older cars and don’t yet own our home. Money is often tight. But I honestly cannot imagine waking my children up at 6:00 in the morning to drop them off with strangers that aren’t able to nurture or give them one on one attention. The thought of it breaks my heart.

[@MaryHernandez-lq8kq]

Some sacrifice is necessary and even needed. Bringing a better work ethic.

[@shaltubeshow1951]

To play devil's advocate to your comment - you don't need to wake your child up at 6:00 a.m. to go to daycare. Daycare will take them at any stage through the day and there are also vacation daycares that do shorter days - yes they are strangers, but that is just at the beginning and also they are trained on how to look after kids and to Foster relationships with them so they are not just random people on the street - you only have to do a day or two per week, so you can still do the one on one at home - daycare also helps Foster routines in children which we know is super important for their development - this is where and how they learn what socialisation is and this is an important part of what Jordan Peterson was talking about

[@sandypuentes866]

I understand what you are saying about daycare, but some prefer to save that cost and instead socialize their kids through playdates, community events, and church activities. These options provide meaningful interaction in a safe, familiar environment while allowing then to maintain their routines and values at home.

[@shaltubeshow1951]

@@sandypuentes866 👌👌

[@loveorabove5106]

A rare man that understands and values this

[@jasp2003]

I wish JP was still cranking out these bangers.

[@elvevanniekerk5097]

Sir, you have taught me so much over the past few years. It is healing to hear real rational truth. I am a grandmother who adores you. God bless you. Keep that truth coming. ❤

[@laneyluneva]

Just so you know, this isn't his channel, this is some random person using his footage for views.

[@JT-sl3ui]

My wife and I have 6 boys and 3 girls. Ages 19 down to 1. The first 4 years is so true and so important. It’s constantly busy and demanding, however it’s fun. Their development through maturing is a very rewarding experience. 👍🏻✌🏻

[@carolveendal86]

9 kids woooow my respect 🫡… blessings for your big family

[@silkemueller1391]

9 kids...we just had our 3rd one. A lot of respect to your wife. I am done with the pain😂

[@heinrichmenzel7163]

9 kids?? Dam someone is bound to be neglected

[@17MJG93]

If I may pry... where do you live, and how can you afford to have them in sports/activities? I'm genuinely curious, because I think I would do the same if I could afford it.

[@connorgreen1676]

I definitely agree. Having kids helps you grow up

[@frosty3693]

Not necessarily, I have had parents on youth trips that were more childish than the kids they were supposed to be chaperoning.

[@19erickpana]

Having children help you grow up. Most adults don't truly mature until they have kids, not necessarily true for everyone but generally speaking is true

[@remybeauchamp]

I'm raising my girlfriend's 10 years old daughter whom I met when she was 7 and a half. I missed those beautiful years you are talking about. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes I accept it. All I can do is to do my best every day now that she's in my life. ❤

[@ralify]

I’m happy I work from home and can see them all the time whenever I want ❤

[@neita987]

I completely agree 😊

[@HaggisMuncher-y2u]

I have a little boy that turns 2 just after Christmas. Watching this intently.

[@blakerdavis]

Im really glad i watched this. My daughter is 3, she's the greatest thing in the world to me

[@Bobsob]

This just makes such perfect sense. I will try my best to uphold this advice.

[@DonovanJury-k9t]

I have one turning 4 this month. It is really a priceless age. ❤. My others are 7 and 11. I cherish my days with them as children because I know it’s limited.

[@desrieeandreone585]

I wish I had heard these tasks when I was young with my children.

[@lanierosenberg]

My niece just had her first baby and I am so glad she decided to stay at home to raise her child. Yes it will involve material sacrifices, but as Dr. Peterson says, she will never be able to get this time back.

[@juliag7361]

The first year, forced to stay at home, was the worst. Yes the first three months were nice. But afterwards I longed for a meaningful task and the connection to other people. Beeing alone with a young child is being alone as two. At one year old my son went to daycare. He's now five and always happy to meet his friends in kindergarden. And mom is happy to earn her own money and provide for the little family. And those who ask, were the father is, go out and search for him and tell me if you found him. Haven't heard from him for five years. And don't ask me why he's not interested in this wonderful child. I have no clue.

[@chfgypsy]

I stayed home to raise my children. I am now in my 70's and really do not remember what I gave up to be with them. Our culture is more concerned with "their wants" than they are with raising healthy responsible children. We have pushed education to the point of disfunction....woman are raised to think a career is the most important goal in life. The best job I ever had was raising my kids. You continue to learn your entire life...there is no end to it; however, there is a time frame for bearing and raising children

[@TejadaCindy]

​@@juliag7361the fact that you needed to connect with stranger adults rather than valuing and working on the connection with your own child says a lot in terms of an attachment disorder with your own mother. Sad to hear you are a single mom and the father is not interested in your child, I hope your child can heal the wounds that come with it throughout her life. I hope the best for you 2.

[@aymeesretep8754]

God gives special graces to single Moms who dont have a choice as in your case. So even though its not the ideal, the grace is there for you and your children to take on both roles because youre clearly a loving mother.

[@7resist7tyranny7]

​@@juliag7361 With all due respect you're the exception. Personally, biologically, scientifically and spiritually, the child needs his mother and most of all the child needs both parents. I know me and my siblings (including my father) were happy, grateful and enjoyed every minute of having mom around when we were kids. Seems like you're trying to undermine what this mother did for her child, comes off as rude and spiteful. I'm sorry for your experience but by the looks of it, it seems as if you wish you had the privilege of experiencing the same thing.

[@MarkJones-yu1rs]

Hello brothers and sisters. I would just like to recommend that everyone read the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. Reading that book was the best desicion I ever made.

[@janiepineda1991]

Thank you! I have a 5 month old so I appreciate your recommendation. Godbless

[@misterblort]

The part between 2:56 and 4:43 is very important. Teach your child manners and it will help them for their entire life, if you don't it will be the opposite for the rest of its life..

[@glassjester]

Unmannered kids are met with rejection from peers and fake smiles from adults. It's so true. And so sad because it's the parents' doing.

[@mikasame]

As a young parent (26) of a 2 year old boy with his baby sister due in 3 months, i am gonna take this advice and hold it deeply close. You’re right, being a good mother is in my bones. Its there, though i feel myself slipping sometimes due to my relationship with their narcissistic father. We lost our apartment before our son was even born and have been living separately the entirety of our newly found parenthood. A lot of weight has been placed on my shoulders. I find myself scouring the web looking for answers on how to be at my best, 100% of the time. Its not easy. This video is a gem ❤ i cant describe how insightful this is to me.

[@newme1589]

Im almost 26, from a single narcissistic mother, and im basically a failure. No job, anxiety of everything, perfectionist, have thought of ending it all in the past. So if the dad is a full on narcissist (which is hard to fix), if you choose to block then from the kids (i wouldnt judge), you HAVE to find a masculine role model, its mandatory. Growing up without a father is brutal. Maybe its a grandpa, or a teacher, or a neighbour, or a boyfriend/husband, but it has to be something, and it has to be consistent. And i would recommend a lot of introspective work/therapy/praying. Usually people who end in a relationship with a narcissist either are scarred or something was wrong from before. Whatever it is, you have to fix it for your kids. Good luck !

[@mobileone7005]

It took me 40 + years to learn these lessons & recognize this. In a few more years I might have thought about how to relay this message to my kids. Jordan said out loud what I was kinda instinctively thinking and didn't know how to articulate. Thanks Jordan I am forwarding this video to everyone I know

[@theFortuneTales]

Glad it was helpful!

[@claudiapastorahdez6177]

I enjoy every second I have with my son. Even when he's yelling at me. I hate that I have to work and not be with him 24/7 but it's just my reality right now.

[@nathanielmills4678]

Why does he yell at you?

[@mathapelo4781]

1 is not easier than 2 infact 2 is easier than 1 from when they are both above 3 years old its total bliss.

[@pesgoatinho1829]

Ours are 3 and 7, super fun watching them fight, and a few seconds later they playing. Evening time they sleeping all over each other in the bed, cuddling

[@lagoya]

Agree, mine are 3 and 7 also, with another on the way, and it’s so much fun. I’d have 3 more if I could

[@mstar4150]

There are 2 brothers in our neighborhood that have very little boundaries or enforcement of good behavior. A few years ago when the youngest was in kindergarten he was already labeled the bad kid. But we know their parents and its 100% on them for not following through and letting them get away with stuff. We gave them so many chances but finally had to have our kid completely stay away from them because it negatively impacted his behavior every time he was around them. I feel bad for these boys because they will then only hang out with other "bad" kids because no one else will let their kid around them

[@newme1589]

That happens more and more with the internet, and the worst is when you are a good parent, and your kid turns out bad because you couldnt know every single person they knew online

[@1dowmnnn5uppp87]

I love kids, my parents used to say daily "Don't Hurt That Baby" and they ment it!! Lol ❤

[@yummysushipyjamas]

I am so glad I decided to stay home to be with my children despite all the external pressures to return to work straight away. Those years are something that my ex has missed out on and will never get back

[@Mcm4]

Seven words in and I’m already crying. Whoooo boy… here we go.

[@ckoritko]

The first rule hit me hard with my first two. I worked too hard and put too much effort in professionally rather than at home with my little ones. May God forgive me.

[@heyzeuss]

I'll think about it

[@sparki101]

I'm not God but I did have a parent like you but I do forgive you. Children like me can learn the depth needed for adult relationships, like said forgiveness, at a later age, its just harder. Hope that helps somewhat

[@ckoritko]

@ It does. Thank you for your kind words.

[@sparki101]

@@ckoritko it sounds like this still weighs heavy on you and maybe is unexpressed to.yoir own children? I have yet to experience the insight and humbleness that your comment from my own parents. Even at this age (37) just a print out of it if, you couldn't say it in words, would go along way maybe? Just a little unsolicited nudge of encouragement from the other side?

[@ckoritko]

@ I appreciate that. I will certainly do that when they’re older, but they’re still too young understand what that neglect robbed them of. I appreciate your bold encouragement though. Not enough of us are willing to say the hard things anymore, even the one’s said out of compassion.

[@LesPaul-MorePaul]

I don’t have any children but raised one who didn’t have a father man enough to do it himself.

[@hosi292]

🍪

[@megl8756]

So you are a father then. God bless you.

[@brainsmith9827]

Pick better men to sleep with

[@chriskirbyh2o]

I am doing this. Best decision of my life, for 14 years now!

[@klaudia7470]

I'm 35,just got my first son, he's 6 months.. I'm reliving my childhood honestly, drown in tears lately when I played my favourite music and tv shows 😢❤❤❤

[@GKMess42]

For point #9, my favorite example that illustrates this is the film "Little Miss Sunshine". It shows so much at so many different levels of life!

[@tazzy6403]

Thank you for taking the time to make this compilation. Really useful

[@theFortuneTales]

Glad it was helpful! 🙏😊

[@HappyGuyPassingBy]

@4:12 .... Definitely a practical one

[@kg1110]

Sometimes it is necessary 😂

[@lukewaidmann3678]

Sometimes, in some things, Jordan is so on the mark. Other things of his I’m not so sure about. But this I think he nails it. Dead on.

[@serolog]

Clinically, he is remarkable, at least at popularazing existing psychological concepts. Politically, he is one the full spectrum, from spot-on to outright cringy.

[@newme1589]

Politically everyone will be cringy because everyone has different opinions. Im more conservative nowadays, anything "diversity, equality, inclusion" sounds really cringy, however back in moustache man Germany ? Wouldnt find it cringy at all

[@miguellorenzo3726]

The advice I didn't seek, but needed to hear

[@ElverGalarga88]

My wife is leaving me and taking our 2 year old son. She’s taking the best years and I’m never getting them back. Trying to stay strong

[@Plotinuss]

😢

[@klaudia7470]

Yeah.. But why is she making that step? That's the question.

[@sliiiin]

don’t give your child up to your wife. Fight for dual custody

[@sliiiin]

@@klaudia7470too many cases around when women perceive children as their property

[@GarrettR21]

Find strength in fighting for dual custody, my Dad did that for me and I’m eternally grateful. My mother didn’t understand boys, and was a narcissist that hated men because of her father so she didn’t know how to raise me. A father’s love cannot be substituted, if you want to be there, do your best to do so and I’m sure your son will come to understand that you wanted to be there, eventually that will be all that matters, no matter the circumstances.

[@user-ye2vz6gr1h]

Very good compilation, thanks

[@theFortuneTales]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@edwinmedina4338]

My wife has a difficult time raising our only daughter which is 10, and I tell her you may think you aren't the perfect mother but to her you are everything and her perfect mother. As for me I'm always trying to teach her before anyone else gets in her head in todays world as there are too many bad influencers out there! This journey started when she turned 3 years old. Its like a second job and your reward is the little ones success at life. Thats what we all want for them and also to be better than us but still stay humble. Very difficult to find a balance between letting them learn what not to do in a safe manner! She knows not to touch a skillet while we cook now, just one example of I told you so, now listen closely hun.

[@shaclown7721]

The fact this video comes in just after my second and last son became 4 is frustrating me. Because a lot of this advice is REALLY good! Granted, i already tried to do most of what's said, but this could've helped me a lot 6 years ago.

[@luuk6718]

Thanks for not adding music :)

[@ramy2757]

I worked in elementary schools. Don't leave them there. They need the care and love of parenting. And the bonus, parents learn a pure surrender to love

[@TanyaDavis954]

What do you suggest? Homeschooling

[@TheCarsandplanes]

Every single day I testimony parents literally “dropping” the kids from their sliding door as school’s curb, even very earlier than school start time. Then, they left driving while texting soullessly. Unfortunately most kids around are just consequences of a night for some dumb and entitled people.

[@zacharyhockett6248]

​@@TanyaDavis954 Don't think of it as homeschooling. It's best to still bring them to a formal education center a few times a week/month through co ops or whatever. The reality is that elementary education is 5 days a week 8 hours a day just so that the parents can work. Kids don't need anywhere close to that much time to lean math, reading, and writing.

[@chintz7428]

We are seeing the consequences of this now because the teachers are demanding more & more time off. Parents can no longer rely on institutions to look after them 8 hours a day 5 days a week. They have really lost their purpose. Now teachers in Alberta have almost 3 months off in total. They added another 2 week long breaks and pretty much only a few stretches of 2 weeks solid. In regards to what they are actually teaching in schools, it may be good. But some parents will have a hard time.

[@aprildawn82]

​@@zacharyhockett6248 👏👏👏👏

[@lunab.1136]

I would like to meet this man he is highly intelligent

[@ninetoesseotenin6839]

I never clean up when they were napping I always cleaned up and worked on things when there awake so that they could see me doing that and that it was normal. Life is not a Disney move were problems just magic fix them self’s.

[@jafuni9349]

Why is almost everyone in the comments stressing the fact of staying home with the kids? That was not the main take away from the points that Peterson raised. I am a full-time working mom and still aspire to teach my kids boundaries, social skills, take risks, etc. it’s just that I cannot do it all on my own. It takes my husband, the siblings, the grandparents, my kids’ friends, neighbors, coaches, and teachers. It really does take a village to raise a child. Too many folks think they have to take this job up on their own. You don’t. But you have to trust others to do the right call with your kids - think about that next time when you feel like the teacher “criticizes” your child (ask teachers how they feel about defensive parents…), when other children give your own kids “negative feedback,” etc. I take these things into consideration, and not only work on my kids becoming successful in life, but to build their characters. THAT is to me the main message from this video.

[@newme1589]

The staying at home is more important the less people you have to take care of the kids. Its great you haven neighbours and teachers, lots of people might have neighbours who hate them, and teachers who are more worried indoctrinating the kids. So it depends on the situation

[@almariera9751]

Loved this...Thank you for doing this video ...I shared it with my kids and family...who have just become parents.❤

[@theFortuneTales]

You're very welcome 😊 🙏 Glad you enjoyed it!

[@debrakeogh]

Briiliant advice and so true!

[@oldmandan3884]

I miss Those 4 years

[@stupot008]

Patience is a good one...

[@hr2079]

This is fantastic advice. Thank you for sharing

[@theFortuneTales]

You are so welcome!

[@DTL0VER]

It ain’t east being a parent, but by god it’s the best thing a person can do ❤❤

[@nicolevaniderstine7304]

I wish he’d recommend a parenting book or make one

[@mysticundertow]

Great compilation, thank you!

[@theFortuneTales]

Thank you 🙏 so much 😊

[@francescob213]

Thank you very much!!!! Kid are the most beautifull thing in life!

[@cdiehr-xm3mc]

During my son’s primary socialization years 4-6 was when the pandemic hit.

[@HeatherBosshardtMusic]

Check out Gordon Neufeld for attachment! So well done!

[@theFortuneTales]

It was so taugh for the kids

[@judithvangelder5795]

Me too and I see the difference between him and his older brother ( 5 years between)

[@aafgahfah]

mine too but other than a few weeks of lockdown what difference did it make? i think it was worse for kids who were teenagers at that time

[@Jeroenneman]

​@@theFortuneTales Tough. Shows that nobody should take these shitty KZbin vids for advice. Can't even master the English language.

[@NICUofficial]

someone unquestionably more important than me someone I'd die for someone I'd live for my daughter is exactly that and more

[@DrthCola]

One serious outburst of rage, and your child will only “love” you out of fear. I can’t remember a time I ever adored my mother.

[@Fkod88]

Excellent points! I really enjoyed the video, some things I already knew but some I never really thought about in this way.

[@theFortuneTales]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@Dottore-b4l]

Agree. What to do with older kids or teens? Is there a way to help them to develop these qualities?

[@daniellegorbett9371]

Have conversations

[@bufficliff8978]

If you're not living it they won't care. You have to be these things first. If you're already these things then you can explain why you're doing something in a particular way: for what benefit you're doing something that seems unintuitive. If they're inquisitive then wait for them to ask questions. Interrupting their day for a meeting where you lecture them would be annoying, and they wouldn't listen or care. If you're not living out these things you'll be hypocritical, and they'll lose respect for you AND the ideas themselves.

[@BC-yd6dl]

The plentiful resource thing and kids: My wife and I are very frugal.. it's almost the only thing we agree on really.. but I find it amazing what effect this has on our kids... I call it setting the happiness bar really low. Heh. It sounds mean, but the less stuff you give your kids, the better. Concrete example: If you vacation with your kids 6x per year, the only thing you are doing is setting that bar (impossibly?) high for their adult lives.

[@kaiserofive4250]

This is so true, especially about fathers playing. My partner often cringes when we wrestle, and he is only 2 - but he freakin loves it. Lucky to be a stay at home dad, my mate when I told him that I was doing said "you will wish you were back at work." He even has kids, I feel sorry for him that he feels that way about them.

[@anthonygorham5299]

Feels like the other day and my daughter is 1.5 years old and my son 6 months.

[@BaldurWulf]

Wow thank you dr Peterson. Im listening to this and my 2 year old yells out Hansel and Gretel!!! And then when he talks about the candy house “oh candy, I want some of my candy” 😂

[@MishaSkripach]

Bravissimo, Dr Peterson!

[@michaelscampinternational4534]

I concur 💯 Thanks!!!

[@theFortuneTales]

You're welcome!

[@ида0101]

I love this ❤ The most difficult part for me is inviting the witch to the party.... But it makes sense. They need to be prepared. Thanks for all the advice.

[@theFortuneTales]

You're very welcome 😊 🙏

[@reneemac111]

Thanks Jordan 😍

[@alexp3572]

Every kid is different you will know when they are ready to move from interacting only with parents to interact with other kids.

[@aafgahfah]

no, millions of children are left in nurseries and we pretend they are socialising. it’s a convenient lie to make mothers feel better about ditching them there in favour of working in an office.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

If they have siblings, this is automatic. Or if they grow up in a community with cousins or church community around them.

[@urizon41]

One of my biggest regrets in life is having only one child.

[@MikeyPraz2121]

Good to know

[@smu414141]

It is great to know. Young people need to read that commen. Next to following Christ, having six kids is my best decision.

[@jccraftmage]

I'm 35. I tell younger people that there's nothing better than being a parent. They are troublesome and challenging but there is simply nothing more rewarding than rearing children.

[@PetarPetrov-89]

Why

[@sandypuentes866]

There's so much you can only learn through being a parent.

[@mosin9105]

Thanks

[@theFortuneTales]

You're Welcome 🙏😊

[@igo_dood]

My dad was gone most of my childhood and I can feel it. I can also see in my friends 5 year old that he wasn't properly disciplined. He doesn't have a cognitive issue, he just doesn't know how to act and doesn't get any genuine smiles from adults and no kids want to play with him because he's a little bastard who doesn't ask for things - he takes them, he will walk into someone's house and demand to play with the adults, in a specific room, he will take random things, climb on your table to get candy, despite his mothers timid "requests". The father is absolutely defeated - and THAT isn't going to end well, either.

[@igo_dood]

He also hits his mother, and the father's response is to take him aside and and say, "Don't hit your mother, understand?" and he goes back to menacing the family.

[@razamughal4582]

​@@igo_doodright. Everything that is going wrong in the world today is coz of absent fathers. I just have to say it: this point alone, yet another one, proves islam right.

[@timohuisinggg9213]

I appreciate the time you took to put this video together, but the stock footage is really no better than just seeing Dr. Peterson and the person he's talking to, in my opinion.

[@manuelhuber9879]

My wife and I are 31 and 30. We have a 19 months old son and a 7 weeks old daughter. My wife is staying at home fulltime, looking after them even during all of the nights. I work part-time (85%) as a teacher. When i come home from work, I help where I can. I play with my son for an hour before I put him to bed… He laughs so much. To me its the greatest luxury, to be able to spend quality time with my kids every day. My father worked as a chef when I was little. He didnt get to see me that much… My wife is the most loving mother to the kids - still we are insecure sometimes. We do our best.

[@amberjohnson9846]

I would live in a box as long as I could stay home with my kids ..sacrificed a ton but I knew I had to do it. Best decision I ever made

[@jakubjiricek7806]

very powerful, thank you very much for sharing. I definitely am that overly empathic and caring father mentioned in the video. Any suggestions on how to undo or mitigate the damages to my child's confidence and courage while it is still possible?

[@DinosaurForTheWin]

Yeah, don't worry about this grifters bullsh*t and go your own way.

[@jakubjiricek7806]

@DinosaurForTheWin i think this is not a good advice. I observed it myself in my own and my child's behavior, nobody else told me. The video just expressed what I was already aware of.

[@Nerkatan910]

Dinosaur for the win, why are you here listening to "a grifter". Why not listen to those who are on the same page as you? Maybe you should go your own way and not listen to Dr. Peterson.

[@theFortuneTales]

Not sure if you've read Raising Mentally Strong Kids by Dr Daniel Amin. It's an amazing book. The biggest mistake we do as parents is trying to solve everything for our kids and not letting them be uncomfortable and figuring things out themselves.

[@jakubjiricek7806]

@@theFortuneTales i must have heard of it, thanks for a reminder, I will try to get the book !

[@ThePuppyhunter]

Standing back and letting my child take the risks he needs to, utterly and completely saps my soul. Having watched my own parents lose a child, it’s almost impossible for me to not instinctively try to smother him. Almost impossible. I try to be mindful of the moments and understand the outcome he’ll have to face when I am not around.

[@elcidcampeador9629]

Have as many as you can

[@MoniqueNadine]

Facts

[@skonstas4683]

Latest statistics show us that to raise a child in Canada it now costs $272 000. raising kids in the past generations was productive for a family and not an expense since children would either work in the farm or at home. Things have changed.

[@SteveoDood90]

Is that total cost from 0 to 18? 0 to 21?

[@PaulineHelmersson-hf5yf]

Yes, the same cost in Sweden for 1 child.

[@lolwtnick4362]

lol the real cost in Canada is you requiring the covid shot, and taking kids away from their parents for non compliance.

[@Mamaremi]

This doesn’t speak about choosing not to have children but if you decide to have them then do your job properly and don’t be permissive and growing humans that will not benefit neither you nor the society they live in.

[@jlebrated]

I have trouble teaching my son how to react to losses since he was able to play with me since 2+ Up till now, he avoids games that are too confrontational and instead chooses those that are more individual oriented activities such as swimming, rather than for example martial arts. I do believe this is partly as what is being shared here as my child is a single child. And maybe he was born like that but being a single child magnifies this problem, and this will be a part of my son that I have been and will continued strive to help him on. Which is being a good team player, a good friend, and focusing on the process not only the result

[@michellemariejanewalsh5302]

I would love children but life hasn't been ideal and I'm getting old. I was a parentified child starting at the age of 4. It's hard being a child raising yourself and raising your adult parent and trying to keep the house and bills together and go to school. Lots of my mother's friends would say I was well behaved and an old soul. Every adult around me told me being an adult was harder then being a child. I remember everyone couldn't wait to be older but me. Adults lives are harder and my life was already hard. Not only did I have the parenting experience of raising myself but I raised my mother. Later an old childhood friend from beginning of primary school reflected that I seemed more the adult. Because I was. The plus to this was I was ready to enter the real world graduating not long after my 17th birthday. The idea people in my country should be elevated of their student debt annoys me. At 17 I was doing full time higher eduction and full time in hospitality which hospitality is great for that if your a student particularly the kitchen end of things. I started as a dishy and worked my way to cook. At one point I had it so fine tuned inwas doing double full time study and overtime hours at work with a 2hr daily social life with my friends and I partied on the weekends and showed up for work which work on the week ends was a split shift meaning I didn't have to start super early. During summer holidays 2.5months I worked 2 jobs 18hrs days and 7days a week I was earning 1.5k on a bad week and 2.5k on a good week back in 2008. I paid for all my education as I went. I never had a debt. I did 7yrs 2006 to 2013. I had one kid asking for help in trying to fit a part time job with his fulltime education. So I told him I'd give him the formula to have his cake and eat it too. He responded I'm not a machine. Neither was I. It's just called being efficient and time management it doesnt happen immediately practice. Read the other day someone had a debt of 38k my 3yr bachelor so without distinction cost me 55k and I paid for it as I went. I never had a debt. These people have debt because they wanted the easy way out and are lazy. If you can't afford the education then maybe it's a luxury and you should focus on your paying job and how to increase that pay then go get an education. You're a responsible adult. Jobs give you money. You need money for things. You don't have money for things then you don't get things because you've mismanaged yourself and finances. If they get their debt paid off for them do I get back the money I paid for my education? Why not? It's the same thing except I was more responsible about it. Why should I suffer because I was more responsible. People need to stop coddling adults. Too many adults are still children.

[@tylerproctor4878]

My friend. Sighs gently. Im 40. I got 8 children and a 20 month old. I wish I would have had a childhood like yours tbh. It was a rough upbringing. Don't let anything cheat you out of the fulfillment of watching your children grow. Watching your influence and your name carry on and branch. Its my way of making the world a better place. God bless you and good luck.

[@lubos4639]

When I wrote this comment, I realized the video had been published for 10 months. It has 474K views and 8.5k likes. This shows, what period are we living. The information contained here is primordial not only for the happiness of the children, and the happiness of the families but also for the normal development of the whole society. I see it as pathetic, that many other videos with much less important content (to put it politically correct) are viral and get orders of magnitude more attention. I would be happy if Dr. Peterson could comment on this - perhaps in another video.

[@serolog]

Half a million views on a 11 minute video in 10 months is actually quite indicative that people do care

[@makakartheiser2089]

I I was raised in fairytale.. apparently.. then life wind took me to materialistic world and still i didn’t know there were evil people in the world.. I woke up in reality of life at age 50 and started learning life over… I was shocked to realize how hurt I had been because no one taught me that life is not just good people

[@limeOjello]

Jordan Peterson has said that’s the definition of PTSD

[@AdelleJones-o8m]

I was raised by my grandparents who are very principled. No lying, and not taking advantage of people. It was really hard for me to accept that it's so easy for other people to lie to me; and because of this I was taken advantage of and betrayed and for decades I was hoping that it would change. But I realized, very few people are honorable, dignified and honest

[@sorelyanlie2784]

How do you learn to play with your kids if your parent didn’t or played “wrong” with you as a kid? I struggle with this a lot. My mom didn’t know how to play with us as a kid and my dad only played tickling games in which he would jot stop until you were beyond crying and not begging or pleading would get him to stop. I want to play with my children (3/4/6years currently ), and i sit down to play with them and find I simply cannot begin. I can organize toys, or read books, but beyond that I’m lost. I was called imaginative all my life, but now I’m realizing it’s not actually true.

[@violingirl1349]

I remember hearing someone say, “watch your child play for a while, and then join in.” Maybe that idea will help. And read books to them sitting together on the couch. Take them to the playground and push them on the swing. If you’re in a cold climate, go sledding with them in winter - sit on the sled and ride down the hill with them. I hope that helps 😊 I think you know better how to play with them than you think!

[@stephaniemiddleton3740]

Also your children are mobile so you can introduce them to older kids games like hide and seek, tag you’re it etc. but watch them play and then join in.

[@theFortuneTales]

I think that sometimes we should just follow the lead of our kids..they often like simple things like dressing up barbies, making puzzles or crafts. Even having them help you bake or cook can build fun memories together. Maybe try to observe what they are playing with or what they like and jump and follow their play.. Or ask them what they would like to play..and try not saying 'no" :) I feel your struggle and sometimes feel the same like you. Good Luck!

[@limeOjello]

Playing pretend is so much fun. Let them take the lead and don’t try to manage or control or correct. Do the old improv technique of “yes, and”. The floor is lava. Make a pretend zoo - get their stuffed animals and pick out a “cage” for each one. Let them lead if you’re not sure. Like, the lion stuffy “cage” is his bed. The pillow is his cave, the blanket over there is his pool to swim in. Now the dresser drawer is the aquarium for the whale… etc. Drive around the house in a pretend train (or whatever they’re into. Maybe you’re riding a unicorn) and go on an adventure!

[@Teza-b]

Start by speaking to them and go from there, ask them... What do you want me to play as in this game? What are we making, what do you want me to make? Once you know roughly what they want, go beyond that so they can learn from you 👍

[@marp155]

Top rules

[@Sketchbag]

Happy to say this man is Canadian and that I too am Canadian. OH CANADAAAAAA! 🍁🍁🍁🍁

[@tinachoe1031]

My kids are teenagers now and i have stayed home with them since birth.

[@theFortuneTales]

No one regrets the fact of having spend too much time with their kids!

[@CathDad4]

4 Kids: 9/8/6/3 and this all hits hard…

[@SimplyHealthTips]

The hardest part about having kids is having them with the wrong person. If the parents choose not to grow up, it hurts the kids for their entire life.

[@lanann753]

🎯

[@mrchoon2010]

That's not exactly "a part of having kids." That's an unfortunate predicament, and definitely hard, but I wouldn't call it a part of having kids.

[@rrijecanka]

Exactly, my baby is 8 months old and another baby is on the way. She needs siblings, she needs to play and grow up with someone and have a best friend for life. So best is to give her a brother or sister…

[@KittyLove93]

my body wouldn't handled that so fast. Great you can :D. I hope with 3,5 years apart it will be also fine :)

[@cooker-q4x]

We have several of our 9 that are 15-18 months apart. It was physically difficult in the beginning bc they need you for EVERYTHING, but those particular pairs of siblings are very close as they have gotten older.

[@TA.LEDGIX09]

I have 3 and 1 is a lot easier than 2 or 3 lol but I kinda get what he is saying