9 Signs You're In A Fantasy Bond, NOT Love

Are you mistaking a fantasy bond for real love?
A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between two people that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy.
In today's video, we will talk about what a fantasy bond looks like, its impact on mental health, and how to distinguish it from genuine love.
Whether you're single, have a secret crush, just broken up, navigating dating or long-term relationships, understanding the nature of the fantasy bond can shed light on common relationship dynamics. Watch to learn the key signs that might indicate you're in a fantasy bond rather than experiencing authentic love.
#mentalhealth #love #relationship #psychology
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Julie Ma
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong

[@CindyPsych2go]

Question for everyone, how is everyone liking the topics lately? Is there a topic you wish us to cover on? Let us know below!

[@MistyMoonie]

I'd like you to cover more on verbal abuse and how it'll affect you in adulthood since verbal abuse can cause stuff like depression, anger issues, and anxiety

[@Ventiis_Boredom]

Im an INFJ, but still suspicious if i am an INFP. Could you make a test for it please?

[@jamaicamiranda3850]

Anger Issue :D

[@KenjiSikichi]

Personally I’ve loved all the videos I’ve seen you guys posting lately. Love this channel :3

[@TheTrueAuthorMRS]

I'm enjoying there being less sexual related topics

[@Bananamilk1300]

1:01 you fall inlove with potential, not people 1:43 you ignore red flags 2:24 you use them to escape reality 3:45 there's no emotional intimacy 4:30 theres no sacrifice or compromise 5:00 you've lost yourself in love 5:27 a superficial relationship 5:52 you feel an empty happiness

[@discreaminant]

3:02 you avoid conflict

[@weebster-vo1zy]

Empty happiness is one I feel to much, not that I'm in any relationships though 🫤

[@liamdylan_yw8rv7]

Thank you 💙

[@user-wv6bf8zk5g]

Thank you!!😊

[@noonegirl]

Thank you 😊

[@Kraken_JPN]

It feels wrong to watch myself being called out in a video.

[@ckeywestins]

FRRR

[@donovanjones2794]

Same 😭😭

[@Jorde-ii8xm]

Trust that I've been watching psych2go since middle school. You must trust you'll get used to the pain of reality. Lol

[@PizzaNoPineapple]

Same…

[@Jamirs_simp4everr]

Right 😭

[@enoch6599]

“You know, it's funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” Wanda from Bojack Horseman

[@Splat654]

I have no idea why i got automatic japanese subtitles, but i am loving it

[@destinyjohnson2780]

This is actually perfect for me rn because I’ve been being confused on my feelings for a few years.

[@Psych2go]

Glad we released at the right time! If there's another you'd like us to cover more on, do let us know! :)

[@gamermapper]

Honestly I think that sometimes being too dreamy and dreaming a lot about crushes isn't actually a bad thing. As long as you know that it's just a fantasy and could not be exactly true. Because the feeling is still extremely positive and sweet. For a lot of people it really helps them cope with the hardships of life and actually feel a lot of happiness. So I'd say it's actually a good thing! 😊🥰💕

[@Polza-sd1sm]

I just dream about MONEY and my HOBBIES . . . Totally HAPPINESS

[@Ann963]

Yes, everything in moderation.

[@Dastorm]

I genuinely hate how much reality this video shattered for me.

[@elvinfp]

Well, now you can begin learning how to form real, meaningful bonds and eventually experience real love.

[@Dastorm]

@@elvinfp peachy. What the point in doing anything though Knowing everything I do for her has been a facade Some of my best changes came from the idea of eventually changing enough to where I'd be with her Knowing this is all a ruse, now what. There's no point in taking care of my body. No point in running for class president. No point in going out for sports. What am I supposed to do without any motivation?

[@normanclatcher]

​@@Dastormlive for you, not for her.

[@Dastorm]

@@normanclatcher hmmmm We'll see

[@normanclatcher]

@@Dastorm Do it, dummy~ Have your 'revenge' be that you're genuinely _happier_ with yourself for moving on. I'm in the same boat. Finally taking care of _myself_ in ways that I *would've* been doing _all this time_ if _someone_ **(cough cough **_Mom)_**** would've let me do from the start. Codependent women _(suuuuuck)._ My best revenge? Heal myself. 😁 And I have courage and confidence in _you_ that you can figure out how to do the same. Stay open to possibility, and let _real_ love in when it presents itself.

[@MistyMoonie]

This actually educates me since I've never known what a fantasy bond is, so this really gets me to truly know that I'm not in a fantasy bond. If you want to ask somebody out, go right ahead and have the confidence!

[@Tofu_shrimp]

I thought it was genuine love because we never got into any conflicts or arguments. But when i saw that avoiding conflict was one of the signs, it hit me. While he’s sweet and all, there were many times where his attitude was.. concerning, to say the least. I dont think he did it deliberately, but ive shed tears because of the things he has said and done. But i never mentioned it because i thought it would be healthier to avoid it, rather than stirring up, what i thought, were “unnecessary” disputes. I've also started letting go of my hobbies, because now all i do is text and talk to him. I guess there’s a chance this was all a fantasy bond after all. Thank you for this, Psych2Go

[@drakelessner3981]

That last part got me.

[@MichaelF-cc8ri]

Self centred narcissist.

[@emmaboyett8667]

have a look into attachment theory. It deals with the things youre speaking about

[@Tofu_shrimp]

​@@emmaboyett8667 ah right. I forgot about it. I shouldve looked into it before this. I have an anxious attachment style and from how he acts, he may have an avoidant attachment style. I guess we dont really match. Thank you for this!

[@sisterfaith2616]

If you shed tears and he did not respond with concern for your feelings this is not the man for you. Again if you shed tears it is because he crossed some important values and that is a major red flag! Never betray your values for a relationship.keep your dignity you be grateful later.

[@topazmarigold804]

Crazy how this has been happening for the last few days and this pops up as soon as I wonder why I'm doing this so much

[@rikitikitavatiki]

Well, the idea of love is all I've ever really had, so I guess a fantasy bond would be a step up for me. It's funny... I've learned so many things about keeping a relationship together. If only I knew how to start one.

[@yogayuliandana8958]

Fr 😂😂😂

[@seaemji8591]

That was a mood

[@brodieudunno]

You know I've always felt this type of way but never had the words. It felt like I was so in love that when I was alone I would be so confused on why the happiness I felt never felt as deep as it seemed.. I always wondered why I felt better when I was by myself feeling that empty happiness but never knowing why and realizing now part of it is my fantasy of what our relationship could be and only seeing the potential of the person and not the person themselves.. gives me a lot to think about but more clarity. It hurts but I'm thankful. It's hard to say where to go from here but it's nice to know an explanation

[@expl0degaming298]

The amount of eye opening to see a video describe your life is crazy.

[@aseman3327]

I just got out of a relationship, realizing that the connection between us wasn't love. This video was something that I needed to see since I was afraid that I did the wrong thing by breaking up even after he begged me not to.Ngl I was blaming myself thinking that I was acting selfish and immature until I saw this vid.Thanks ❤

[@Polza-sd1sm]

People don’t like being and vibing alone because for a very long time being alone = is viewed as a something negative and being with someone = something positive or seeing as a happiness. But strategically, and demographically, for centuries, men and women were encouraged to live together simply to have children, that is to say to put more people in this world ! It took centuries after some people began to see that happiness depends on each person ! Even nowadays, the mentality of some people in society does not yet change on this subject and thinks that living alone is depressing or negative, etc because there mentality and the perception of each person are different ! There will never have videos that will encourage people to live and vibing alone in an advertisement for example and seeing as happiness. I’m starting to see little by little in KZbin videos but it’s very rare ! Most videos is how to be with someone, or like this video fantasy bond, or you have to breakup with your bf, blah blah blah . . . How much you see people very desperate, lunatic, delusional from nonsense thing . . . And think that living alone and vibing alone are the same as loneliness . . . (Which is completely different) The reason why they search some people or feelings to complete inside them . . .

[@ChoompaLoompa1985-uw8lw]

what if your fantasy together is your goal? making it better, efficient, satisfying...What if you and another person have a place that is just for the two of you that you can nourish like a garden? A fantasy bond is an ideal vision of the relationship you both must work hard for... it's the same as people who believe in a utopia, and people who are inspired by utopian ideas to makes something less than perfect but still amazing.

[@gamergabetuber6443]

This honestly helped so much, just knowing how I became so attached and confused on why I fell so hard for my ex, because getting over her has been hard but at least I can see clearly now and this video really made me open my eyes.

[@Elenaza92]

As a BPD person, this is so difficult to notice. Thanks for this vid, it helps a lot ❤

[@J1Z06]

I love this female “HUMAN’s”voice Everyone Happy Now!?!?!? 😃😜😬

[@Psych2go]

Thanks so much J1!

[@Ventiis_Boredom]

same.

[@UDONTKNOW_ME]

Same makes me more comfortable

[@simsweety]

Sameee!

[@MJalil11]

That's fantasy not love 😅

[@alexantics9250]

This actually helped me understand the reason why my last relationship ending really didn’t affect me that much and honestly I feel like the majority of these things were happening throughout both sides of the relationship

[@KenjiSikichi]

Another day another Psych2Go video. This is the life.

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for being here! How do you like this topic so far?

[@KenjiSikichi]

@@Psych2goIve always loved your videos that covered the topics of love and so far I like the video. Keep up the great work! :3

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). You fall in love with potential not people 1:00 2). You ignore red flags 1:42 3). To use them to escape reality 2:22 4). You avoid conflict at all costs 3:01 5). There's no emotional intimacy 3:44 6). There's no sacrifice or compromise 4:29 7). You're lost yourself in love 5:00 8). A superficial relationship 5:26 9). You feel an empty happiness 5:51 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@donovanjones2794]

I don't think I was ready for this one 😭😭

[@fxqtqs]

real.

[@carbrand7527]

Wow this could not have been timed better, i just got out of a 6year narcissistic abusive relationship and these videos during this tough breakup is showing me so much. How little i know. Thankyou for making these videos. I feel more educated and somewhat safe talking more to people with this information

[@tknm729]

Oh wow, I didn't expect to find this video as relatable as I did...however, I was absolutely led astray by those ex's because they lied constantly! I did learn to stop ignoring red flags, though....eventually

[@vivienballard391]

This was in my suggestions, & I’m so glad it was. I really needed this.

[@shadowsprite4115]

I clicked this video immediately after getting the notification, because I feel like I have this type of bond with a girl I have a crush on. Even spoke about this (indirectly) with one of my friends from band. I'm starting to reconsider ever getting her phone number (which I got before my junior year ended) and I may just be wasting my time...I may need to look at this video again and see what signs apply to me...

[@aprillempkacruz]

Take your time and watch it again. You may want to write down the "pro's & con's" of your relationship. 😊

[@neonrocket434]

I've been following you for a few years and i feel your videos always come to me at the right time

[@Viiolens]

these videos become more for me every time you guys post

[@HiEmily-oy1ev]

Why is ur voice so calming and beautiful😭

[@NynyshAulia]

I've been in fantasy bond since. . .probably before I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia because I've been delusional of having a relationship with some handsome male celebrities I've seen on TV or KZbin. But after I learned about mindfulness and self love, I realized that those kind of bond is toxic and it's a fantasy bond after I watch this video. 😩 I think I need to learn how to control my delusions with the help of my routine medication that I've got from my psychiatrist. 🤧 It's hard to not thinking and feeling a fantasy bond for me, but I gotta try after I watch this video 😔

[@MichaelF-cc8ri]

Stop being so insufferably superficial and shallow.

[@NynyshAulia]

@@MichaelF-cc8ri You think? Well, I gotta say. I can't do that instantly. It needs process, and it's gonna take a long time. Got it? 😊

[@Maria-uk7iv]

Thank you very much. I have not come across fantasy bond idea but it describes very well what I have experienced in my life - admiration of somebody without physical attraction but idealising the person and getting everything done for them.

[@kayleighdriessen]

My approach to love might be romantic/fantasizing in theory but practical and patient in practice, like close caring relationships are beautiful but you gotta give it all your nurturing and dedication to sustain them instead of using the other person as a fantasy.

[@nickthepick8043]

I clicked on this video fearing the worst, but I gradually felt relief knowing that this doesn't fit my description. My confidence has been boosting lately, and your videos helped for many years now!

[@LaTashaChante]

This described my exact experience. I’m definitely over it. Thank you for putting this into words to help me describe this particular situation and giving it a name.

[@DiScO_kIt_ANIMATIONS]

I was in a fantasy bond for a while and eventually me and that person talked things through:) I this helps me understand what was going on at that moment:) thank you very much for your supportive videos

[@darquequeen]

Been in a “relationship” like this for 10 years, and it was definitely unrequited. Learned my lesson!

[@emmaramsey3440]

Love the style of this video💕 cute visuals really help😊

[@AlphaRizzlerJr]

I LOVE THIS VIDEO SO MUCH!

[@kylebrandon4556]

This has open my eyes a little on my relationship. Thank you for this.

[@GreenleeA]

These are so helpful, thank you ❤

[@Drystanwashere]

This video was really helpful, I've always wondered about my feelings with my partner, and i might think we had a fantasy bond. and it honestly makes much more sense that i expected and explains so much

[@emmanuelhg503]

Geee, I identified a lot with this video. Thank you so much!!

[@Xiviuz]

Been confused and feeling conflicted for years, this really explains a lot and helps me understand more. Thanks Psych2Go ❤Your videos are always great at helping me put words to my feelings

[@hayeonkim7838]

Thanks for interesting and valuable video as always ❤❤❤

[@IL0UHV_TWDG.01]

Your voice is so calming 😖💓

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for your love!

[@tyunniez]

this being posted right after the last video was like a shot through the heart

[@ASiteSee]

This video made me realize that most of my past relationships have been nothing but fantasy bonds. All I wanted from the person was love, but I never saw deeper into them until it was too late. This video was very helpful to me.

[@simsweety]

The voice is so comforting 😭🩷

[@KittyKatt_Luna80s]

This is Amanda Silvera 😊

[@lone_Outcast]

Thanks for the information, I’ll keep that in mind, so I can let this knowledge help others

[@azuresiren5846]

This channel is slowly making me realize I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life

[@TheMaryberry6061]

I feel like you made this for me! I am working on not being in a fantasy relationship. It's hard but I will make it!

[@Akirathechampion]

I don't believe in fantasy. I believe in humanity and the way love can exist.

[@shannonnaiomi5145]

This video randomly showed up on my notification and I feel attacked. is this a sign?! 😭

[@obetgo6960]

Very good topic. ❤

[@michaelreetz503]

I definitely needed this. I've been traped in a fantacy for a few months now and I need to realize it has to end and move on from it.

[@alexandraschwarz6765]

I think I love these fantasy bonds. It makes me happy, keeps me creative and is a good break from daily life 🤗

[@fxqtqs]

i love the art in this thumbnail and the art i’m gonna explode

[@sleepyanny6589]

I think I had this kind of bound in my last relationship but I never realised it was a real thing. I was so blinded.. now I know better, thank you. ❤

[@AlphaRizzlerJr]

Love the video!

[@Psych2go]

Thank you!!

[@Yusuf15-i7q]

Your voice is soooo relaxing and you're videos are super good love you 💝

[@Psych2go]

This means a lot! Thank you!

[@barbaraedwards5675]

Very helpful!

[@AshmakesSWjumpscares]

Me enjoying this video at 2 in the morning knowing that people doesn't even want to stay 60 feet than me 😀

[@jasper299]

Very helpful thank you 🙏🏽❤

[@Self-CraftMastery]

grate video ❤ thanks!!😊

[@So_BitterGiggle]

Omg your videos actually helped me

[@maqsudumurboyev5461]

Interesting video ❤

[@sofiaart9977]

Omg...THANK GOD IM NOT DREAMING. I didn't even realized I have that. I'm glad I found this vid

[@max-sm5pp]

Thank you for this video because I don't know what was happening in my relationship and if it was not real

[@lamortechebussaallatuaport6390]

One question: can fantasy bond sometimes be paired with a clumsy attempt of creating a true bond with the same person?

[@niasiamack9333]

Amazing video

[@MegaManNeo]

After watching this, I'd say to fall usually into fantasy love rather than real love :( Some fantasy sure is good and helpful but most failed scenarios really was me daydreaming too much, given what you've said in this video which I too can now see being put well into words.

[@marsh799]

This video made me self reflect on my own reelationship

[@afreenworld3603]

Psych2go thank you for always being here whenever I had doubt about relationship and everything your knowledgeble videos are always come to educates me and informe me about various things that I can't even know before that's help a lot for me for everyone ❤❤ and your voice always my favourite girl I wish you happiness 😊

[@evy3637]

I’m on the aroace spectrum and I watch this hoping my feelings would just turn out to be a fantasy bond…but no, I like them and I think they like me. I’m just so scared because this is my first time having these feelings for another person. I love your videos btw, they make me gain so much emotion intelligence and perspective on my own feelings

[@RyanJ-qt8xj]

Jeez. This is crazy... And so true.

[@afroditeksek4436]

I opened yt to hear some music and here i am I am glad i have a real bond with my bf

[@clovrrq]

Me and my boyfriend currently do have disagreements and we talk about it and deal with it. I'm sure this isn't a fantasy bond but I saw the video and was curious, because im insecure lol. We get along very well and constantly say the same things at the same time and overall just fit like puzzle pieces, and when conflict comes it can get rough in the moment but we make sure to talk about it before we fall asleep. This video helped my constant insecurity of not being in love and it being something else, but im sure it's love now 💜

[@clovrrq]

Also, (im just watching the video and adding more), it does seem sometimes my world will revolve around him and i may do some of my hobbies less but he notices and also he gives me time to make music, write, and do whatever else I do. He also has his own hobbies and we compromise tons to make time for work, hobbies, and eachother. We spend a lot of time talking but never get bored of eachother. Yes, we are both obsessed with talking to one another but we both still have our own things, and share them with eachother. We even write together.

[@coletteannemaud1340]

Me this time last year. He left me and mum died and it was my birthday and I was vulnerable and had no income of my own. I was caught up in the fantasy of him and been a cougar and I forgot about me and my happiness. This year I'm with a man nearer to my age and it's as real as it can be and yes messy and imperfect but nice and amazing . We both have trauma from our pasts but he's amazing . He's fun to be with also . I'm 56 and never thought I would find anyone like him. He messages me daily to reassure me as he knows I've got trauma from insecure bad past exes like the one I've mentioned and he understands me more than any man I've known. Only one other like him I used to know yrs ago. Men like this are rare and I know.

[@theautisticdoomgod]

Your animations are really cute. I cherish them. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@HolidOreo_]

I don't even watch these because I need them, they're just interesting.

[@Trxnxty.]

I literally had the best day with my crush today, and this comes..

[@RayPeng-07]

Fantasy is VERY needed for a single person (especially that there is no family and persons to rely on). Without it many people could even commit suicide.

[@autronic9306]

Very true, it's a strong, self made drug, it's like fear, it protects you in many cases.

[@Moulton_Lava]

Yes sadly it is my greatest flaw, that I desperately need to fix

[@Fenris8800]

Yeah my last relationship, endet up 2,5 months ago, was a mixture of true and this fantasy bond. We both want it but doesnt fit. We Try it several times but u cant escape the truth. And the break up was hard. Very hard😢 The lesson i learned/reminded once more is: Be honest to yourself so you can be honest to other people. Its so important. Because if you honest to yourself and become fine with yourself, you become stable. Find ur inner peace. What probably means you have to face your own demons. Beat your demons and find your balance will shine out of you. It will become part of your energy which other people can sense...and may your further partner too ;) But aim for urself. And the rest will come.

[@1monk1year]

I like this channel, makes me feel like an alien trying to learn human emotions 😂

[@solisimperium1203]

not psych to go making me question my daily life with each upload for the past month 🙃

[@priscillajimenez27]

Anime crushes some folk swem to have especially through fanfics 😂😂😂

[@HiRichard]

Thank you so much

[@AmandaRademan]

This can apply to friendships as well. This was my situation with a girl I was friends with in the 2nd grade, I had this fantasy about this perfect best friend,who likes all the same stuff I do and it would be us against the world, kind of like the friendships on tv shows like Winx Club and Disney and stuff and I was projecting that onto her, but that wasn't who she was, when she treated me badly or was mean to me and stuff I would ignore it or make excuses for it to preserve the illusion of this perfect friendship where we agreed on everything,never fought etc when when the friendship eventually ended,she decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore and kicked me out of our friend group, I was devastated I was in a depression for over a year.I had to come to terms with the fact that the entire friendship was an illusion and based on my fantasies and that I didn't really know her at all and was putting her on a pedestal.

[@Wiccan666]

Honestly this video mostly felt like me and my ex... After awhile I ended up getting tired of it and left.. Now I stay single for myself..

[@alizsanto672]

I ACTUALLY HAD DOUBTS ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP YESTERDAY OMFG

[@pixieanna2058]

This is what was going on that time I fell insanely in love when I was unavailable and so was he.

[@realboy24]

I'm in love with the woman behind this voice 😂❤

[@goodgamer1236]

This video is so relatable that it made me scared 😂😂😂😂

[@yatachih4089]

This is a lot to think about

[@aannecagas9791]

Damn, just yesterday, o was going to confess but then BAM, this video pops up..

[@EsmeAmelia]

I think my ex and I had a fantasy bond. I think she loved her idea of me, not the real me, then the instant I fell off the pedestal she set me on, she took it as total betrayal.

[@mohmohmaw883]

if only ive found this earlier

[@gb_oreo]

Huh, I was worried I could be having a fantasy bond given how much I idealize my partner (I should change that probably), and how clingy I am with them. But, seeing this, I think our relationship is pretty healthy. I am even more in love with them now.